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(Bleacher Report)   On tonight's WWE Monday Night Raw, marvel in amazement as a senile promoter wastes $5 million by making Brock Lesnar sing "Feelings" to a Paul Bearersicle while eating Doritos Tacos Locos. Deep Hurting starts at 9 PM on USA   (bleacherreport.com) divider line 1933
    More: Interesting, Brock Lesnar, Monday Night Raw, John Laurinaitis, WWE, WWE Championship, USA, Alberto Del Rio, WWE Extreme Rules  
•       •       •

402 clicks; posted to Sports » on 30 Apr 2012 at 8:08 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-30 12:25:20 PM
It's still real to somebody?

/like why?
 
2012-04-30 12:35:34 PM
buttondown.mattalgren.com

/Senile Vince could fark up MST3K, too.
//happy 500.
 
2012-04-30 12:58:08 PM
I wondere where they got that green lab coat. I was going to be dr forrestor for halloween but couldn't find a green one.
 
2012-04-30 01:19:14 PM

potato_chip_eating_geek: I wondere where they got that green lab coat. I was going to be dr forrestor for halloween but couldn't find a green one.


Dude. RIT dye.
 
2012-04-30 01:52:49 PM

jayfurr: potato_chip_eating_geek: I wondere where they got that green lab coat. I was going to be dr forrestor for halloween but couldn't find a green one.

Dude. RIT dye.


There's a basic dye you can find in grocery stores that would make a green that... green?
 
2012-04-30 03:47:27 PM
Does the same person write the headlines for RAW each week? They all seem so...unique.
 
2012-04-30 03:50:21 PM
I want to see all two hours devoted to the Funkasaurus.

I wanna see more momma booty shaking like what we were given in WrestleMania

I WANNA SEE SANTINO AND HORNSWAGGLE AND KANE DO THE CHA-CHA! HEAR ME, WWE, AND GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!
 
2012-04-30 03:59:40 PM

NateGrey: Does the same person write the headlines for RAW each week? They all seem so...unique.


The bar for RAW headlines was raised in late February, when this was greenlit...

Rose petals blow lightly in the breeze as tears fall one by one to the canvas. A man sits sadly in the friend zone. Will he remain forever alone? Find out on a very special edition of Raw, tonight at 9 on USA

After that, the standard sports template "Will/what/where/can" type of headline was no longer the main event, but a fallback for when there was nothing else about the show that could be written.

The sad part is, though, this week's headline is all based on very real things that happened on last week's Raw. No Subby could come up with things as crazy or stupid as reality.
 
2012-04-30 04:05:01 PM

FirstNationalBastard: NateGrey: Does the same person write the headlines for RAW each week? They all seem so...unique.

The bar for RAW headlines was raised in late February, when this was greenlit...

Rose petals blow lightly in the breeze as tears fall one by one to the canvas. A man sits sadly in the friend zone. Will he remain forever alone? Find out on a very special edition of Raw, tonight at 9 on USA

After that, the standard sports template "Will/what/where/can" type of headline was no longer the main event, but a fallback for when there was nothing else about the show that could be written.

The sad part is, though, this week's headline is all based on very real things that happened on last week's Raw. No Subby could come up with things as crazy or stupid as reality.


Thanks for the explanation.
 
2012-04-30 05:00:31 PM

Not sure what to make of the headline, so I'll just dispense with the checklist. :)


Weekly Raw Checklist
(credit to DougieAXP, I Said, & others for original idea)


1) I Said/JFSP mark out for John Cena all night
2) YES! YES! YES! YES!
3) Now trending worldwide on Twitter
4) Time to call your momma
5) Somebody forgets to pay their air bill
6) Because Fark You, that's why!
7) Somebody wondering why the thread isn't in the Entertainment tab
8) "Never mind that shiat, here comes Mongo!"
9) Broskis/WWWYKI
10) LetsgoCenaCenaSucks.jpg
11) #LIMESTATUS
12) Every 25th post is "ARMBAR!"; Every 1004th post is "moss covered 3 handled family gredunza"*
13) BAH GAWD KING, it's Orton! Hide your gymbags!
14) An appearance by Dolph and his Technicolor ass-cape
15) http://ricflairwelcometofark.jpg
16) spanishscarfofdoom.jpg
17) 'ARMBRA!' (requires a visual demonstration - images MUST be linked & marked as NSFW, or they WILL be deleted by Mods)
18) FWC member sighting on TV
19) #shutupcole
20) Vince gives an FU to the smarks
 
2012-04-30 05:02:28 PM
Reposted from the (world famous) post-WM thread:

j.wigflip.com
 
2012-04-30 06:00:54 PM
The truth of this headline....it hurts.
 
2012-04-30 06:02:13 PM

Dougie AXP: The truth of this headline....it hurts.


buttondown.mattalgren.com
 
2012-04-30 06:02:42 PM
Next on Burning Money Through Idiotic Booking...

OHHHHHHHHH SOMETIMES I GET A GOOD FEELING THAT I FELT FROM YOU AND I LIKE IT YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
2012-04-30 06:04:50 PM

robsul82: Next on Burning Money Through Idiotic Booking...

OHHHHHHHHH SOMETIMES I GET A GOOD FEELING THAT I FELT FROM YOU AND I LIKE IT YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH


i6.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-30 06:30:13 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-30 06:46:44 PM
I am not SENILE you DAMN SMARKS! I know EXACTLY what the fans want and I am rolling in the dough needed to give it them. I had pudding with my lunch today and I think I just pooped myself.

SMARKS!
 
2012-04-30 06:49:44 PM

Senile Vince: I am not SENILE you DAMN SMARKS! I know EXACTLY what the fans want and I am rolling in the dough needed to give it them. I had pudding with my lunch today and I think I just pooped myself.

SMARKS!


Ok, time for an Alt Rundown:

Senile Vince
Moss Covered Three Handled Gredunza
Vince Russo
Bobby and The Gorilla


Am I missing any?
 
2012-04-30 06:50:26 PM

Dougie AXP: Senile Vince: I am not SENILE you DAMN SMARKS! I know EXACTLY what the fans want and I am rolling in the dough needed to give it them. I had pudding with my lunch today and I think I just pooped myself.

SMARKS!

Ok, time for an Alt Rundown:

Senile Vince
Moss Covered Three Handled Gredunza
Vince Russo
Bobby and The Gorilla

Am I missing any?


CM DRUNK
 
2012-04-30 06:57:19 PM
All Rundown:

Senile Vince
Moss Covered Three Handled Gredunza
Vince Russo
Bobby and The Gorilla
CM Drunk


Feel free to add to this.
 
2012-04-30 06:58:43 PM
26.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-30 07:02:32 PM
27.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-30 07:20:44 PM
So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.
 
2012-04-30 07:22:55 PM

KellyKellyKelly: So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.


Mmmmmm.... big green clenis.

...like a stalk of farkin broccoli.
 
2012-04-30 07:23:17 PM

KellyKellyKelly: So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.


Is it the clenis?
 
2012-04-30 07:23:52 PM

FirstNationalBastard: NateGrey: Does the same person write the headlines for RAW each week? They all seem so...unique.

The bar for RAW headlines was raised in late February, when this was greenlit...

Rose petals blow lightly in the breeze as tears fall one by one to the canvas. A man sits sadly in the friend zone. Will he remain forever alone? Find out on a very special edition of Raw, tonight at 9 on USA


I totally shot my load on that one though, I haven't come up with shiat since.

i107.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-30 07:40:48 PM
Hogan promises he'll leave TNA if his genius idea of telling fans to film TNA wrestlers in real life doesn't help the business. That kind of derangement is one mighty late acting side effect from 'roid use.
 
2012-04-30 07:43:05 PM
Wow, I guess Extreme Rules really was extreme.
 
2012-04-30 07:46:41 PM

FirstNationalBastard: KellyKellyKelly: So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.

Mmmmmm.... big green clenis.

...like a stalk of farkin broccoli.


There went my dinner plans.
 
2012-04-30 07:47:58 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Wow, I guess Extreme Rules really was extreme.


That article was hilarious and awesome...and that's before the picture of He Who Shall Not Be Named.
 
2012-04-30 07:49:50 PM

Twitch Boy: FirstNationalBastard: KellyKellyKelly: So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.

Mmmmmm.... big green clenis.

...like a stalk of farkin broccoli.

There went my dinner plans.


If they ever get her to play Starfire in a Teen Titans porn, the clenis will look like a baby carrot.
 
2012-04-30 08:11:26 PM
i18.photobucket.com">
 
2012-04-30 08:12:11 PM

Senile Vince: I am not SENILE you DAMN SMARKS! I know EXACTLY what the fans want and I am rolling in the dough needed to give it them. I had pudding with my lunch today and I think I just pooped myself.

SMARKS!


Welcome to Favorite-land
 
2012-04-30 08:13:05 PM
j.wigflip.com
 
2012-04-30 08:13:30 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Wow, I guess Extreme Rules really was extremeFirstNationalBastard: Wow, I guess Extreme Rules really was extreme.

That was just odd

 
2012-04-30 08:13:40 PM

NateGrey: FirstNationalBastard: NateGrey: Does the same person write the headlines for RAW each week? They all seem so...unique.

The bar for RAW headlines was raised in late February, when this was greenlit...

Rose petals blow lightly in the breeze as tears fall one by one to the canvas. A man sits sadly in the friend zone. Will he remain forever alone? Find out on a very special edition of Raw, tonight at 9 on USA

After that, the standard sports template "Will/what/where/can" type of headline was no longer the main event, but a fallback for when there was nothing else about the show that could be written.

The sad part is, though, this week's headline is all based on very real things that happened on last week's Raw. No Subby could come up with things as crazy or stupid as reality.

Thanks for the explanation.


The process also usually involves a mod greening my submission and then ungreening it.
 
2012-04-30 08:13:46 PM

P-Money All $tar: [i.imgur.com image 640x364]


Winner. Thread over.
 
2012-04-30 08:14:18 PM
damn!

cdn.bleacherreport.net
 
2012-04-30 08:14:21 PM
You know, I forgot to actually write up an Extreme Rules Guessing Game

So, here we go for tonight's Raw, yes it sucks, but enjoy

1 Point: What will HHH want to talk about?
2 Points: Is Cena going to be business as usual?
3 Points: Will Jericho-Punk continue for the next PPV?
4 Points: Who will Lord Tensai beat this week?
5 Points: Will Daniel Bryan be allowed to be in person in front of the crowd on Raw?
 
2012-04-30 08:14:38 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-30 08:16:57 PM

P-Money All $tar: [i.imgur.com image 640x364]


Turd jokes still give me a chuckle. Thats why ORTON is my favorite wrassler!
 
2012-04-30 08:17:06 PM

TheManofPA: You know, I forgot to actually write up an Extreme Rules Guessing Game

So, here we go for tonight's Raw, yes it sucks, but enjoy

1 Point: What will HHH want to talk about?
2 Points: Is Cena going to be business as usual?
3 Points: Will Jericho-Punk continue for the next PPV?
4 Points: Who will Lord Tensai beat this week?
5 Points: Will Daniel Bryan be allowed to be in person in front of the crowd on Raw?


I'll play...

1: Trips will fire Teddy Long and collude with Johnny Ace
2: He'll sell, only to go on vacation
3: Please, dear lord...no
4: Ryder
5: Yes
 
2012-04-30 08:17:50 PM
"Cena is out for a stretch Brain, what are we going to do now?"

"Well Monsoon, let's push the midcard, bring up some developmental talent, really get this youth movement going."

(simultaneously) "BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Let's get ready for the next Randy Orton world title reign, Monsoon!"

"Co-holding the tag team title with HHH!, RAW tonight!"
 
2012-04-30 08:18:41 PM
Rags goal!
 
2012-04-30 08:19:01 PM
Since everyone major did serious bumps last night, I'm expecting a good solid 12-16min of wrestling tonight. Triple Gagne talking will eat up 20min. Cena Gehrig will give his good bye speech alone in the ring which should be 20 min. Punk & Jericho about 20min. Divas piss break for 5min. YES! man and Funkasaurus total about 10min. Plus some backstage hijinks for the rest of the filler. Oh and Twitter mentions!!
 
2012-04-30 08:19:23 PM
Oops, wrong thread. Back to waiting for Randy Orton to go back up the card.
 
2012-04-30 08:20:15 PM
I swear the McMahon/Burns comparison is so sad that it's not even funny. I mean I still laugh but it's really really sad.

Also until the sheets prove otherwise I'm going to have to say that somehow someway Russo is involved.
 
2012-04-30 08:20:28 PM
also the Vince Burs meme is entertaining. Someone put Vinces head on Burns body or vice versa, Entertain Me FWC!
 
2012-04-30 08:20:30 PM

tbaughm: TheManofPA: You know, I forgot to actually write up an Extreme Rules Guessing Game

So, here we go for tonight's Raw, yes it sucks, but enjoy

1 Point: What will HHH want to talk about?
2 Points: Is Cena going to be business as usual?
3 Points: Will Jericho-Punk continue for the next PPV?
4 Points: Who will Lord Tensai beat this week?
5 Points: Will Daniel Bryan be allowed to be in person in front of the crowd on Raw?

I'll play...

1: Trips will fire Teddy Long and collude with Johnny Ace
2: He'll sell, only to go on vacation
3: Please, dear lord...no
4: Ryder
5: Yes




My answers:
1) HHH will put himself over Lesner somehow
2) Cena isn't going anywhere
3) It will
4) Damn, I like the Ryder pick but instead I'll say Kofi
5) No, Irish will show up and they'll start with Del Rio
 
2012-04-30 08:20:34 PM

eagles95: Since everyone major did serious bumps last night, I'm expecting a good solid 12-16min of wrestling tonight. Triple Gagne talking will eat up 20min. Cena Gehrig will give his good bye speech alone in the ring which should be 20 min. Punk & Jericho about 20min. Divas piss break for 5min. YES! man and Funkasaurus total about 10min. Plus some backstage hijinks for the rest of the filler. Oh and Twitter mentions!!


Since everyone took serious bumps last night, Vince will schedule a 6 man clusterfark match so someone can get their elbow mangled.

It's tradition!
 
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