FARK.com: (7078454) On tonight's WWE Monday Night Raw, marvel in amazement as a senile promoter wastes $5 million by making Brock Lesnar sing "Feelings" to a Paul Bearersicle while eating Doritos Tacos Locos. Deep Hurting starts at 9 PM on USA

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		On tonight's WWE Monday Night Raw, marvel in amazement as a senile promoter wastes $5 million by making Brock Lesnar sing "Feelings" to a Paul Bearersicle while eating Doritos Tacos Locos. Deep Hurting starts at 9 PM on USA (bleacherreport.com)		1933
		More: Interesting, Brock Lesnar, Monday Night Raw, John Laurinaitis, WWE, WWE Championship, USA, Alberto Del Rio, WWE Extreme Rules

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393 clicks; posted to Sports » on 30 Apr 2012 at 8:08 PM | Favorite | share:

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potato_chip_eating_geek		2012-04-30 12:25:20 PM

It's still real to somebody?

/like why?

FirstNationalBastard		2012-04-30 12:35:34 PM

/Senile Vince could fark up MST3K, too.
//happy 500.

potato_chip_eating_geek		2012-04-30 12:58:08 PM

I wondere where they got that green lab coat. I was going to be dr forrestor for halloween but couldn't find a green one.

jayfurr		2012-04-30 01:19:14 PM

potato_chip_eating_geek: I wondere where they got that green lab coat. I was going to be dr forrestor for halloween but couldn't find a green one.

Dude. RIT dye.

FirstNationalBastard		2012-04-30 01:52:49 PM

jayfurr: potato_chip_eating_geek: I wondere where they got that green lab coat. I was going to be dr forrestor for halloween but couldn't find a green one.

Dude. RIT dye.

There's a basic dye you can find in grocery stores that would make a green that... green?

NateGrey		2012-04-30 03:47:27 PM

Does the same person write the headlines for RAW each week? They all seem so...unique.

cman		2012-04-30 03:50:21 PM

I want to see all two hours devoted to the Funkasaurus.

I wanna see more momma booty shaking like what we were given in WrestleMania

I WANNA SEE SANTINO AND HORNSWAGGLE AND KANE DO THE CHA-CHA! HEAR ME, WWE, AND GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!

FirstNationalBastard		2012-04-30 03:59:40 PM

NateGrey: Does the same person write the headlines for RAW each week? They all seem so...unique.

The bar for RAW headlines was raised in late February, when this was greenlit...

Rose petals blow lightly in the breeze as tears fall one by one to the canvas. A man sits sadly in the friend zone. Will he remain forever alone? Find out on a very special edition of Raw, tonight at 9 on USA

After that, the standard sports template "Will/what/where/can" type of headline was no longer the main event, but a fallback for when there was nothing else about the show that could be written.

The sad part is, though, this week's headline is all based on very real things that happened on last week's Raw. No Subby could come up with things as crazy or stupid as reality.

NateGrey		2012-04-30 04:05:01 PM

FirstNationalBastard: NateGrey: Does the same person write the headlines for RAW each week? They all seem so...unique.

The bar for RAW headlines was raised in late February, when this was greenlit...

Rose petals blow lightly in the breeze as tears fall one by one to the canvas. A man sits sadly in the friend zone. Will he remain forever alone? Find out on a very special edition of Raw, tonight at 9 on USA

After that, the standard sports template "Will/what/where/can" type of headline was no longer the main event, but a fallback for when there was nothing else about the show that could be written.

The sad part is, though, this week's headline is all based on very real things that happened on last week's Raw. No Subby could come up with things as crazy or stupid as reality.

Thanks for the explanation.

Grand_Moff_Joseph		2012-04-30 05:00:31 PM

Not sure what to make of the headline, so I'll just dispense with the checklist. :)

Weekly Raw Checklist
(credit to DougieAXP, I Said, & others for original idea)

1) I Said/JFSP mark out for John Cena all night
2) YES! YES! YES! YES!
3) Now trending worldwide on Twitter
4) Time to call your momma
5) Somebody forgets to pay their air bill
6) Because Fark You, that's why!
7) Somebody wondering why the thread isn't in the Entertainment tab
8) "Never mind that shiat, here comes Mongo!"
9) Broskis/WWWYKI
10) LetsgoCenaCenaSucks.jpg
11) #LIMESTATUS
12) Every 25th post is "ARMBAR!"; Every 1004th post is "moss covered 3 handled family gredunza"*
13) BAH GAWD KING, it's Orton! Hide your gymbags!
14) An appearance by Dolph and his Technicolor ass-cape
15) http://ricflairwelcometofark.jpg
16) spanishscarfofdoom.jpg
17) 'ARMBRA!' (requires a visual demonstration - images MUST be linked & marked as NSFW, or they WILL be deleted by Mods)
18) FWC member sighting on TV
19) #shutupcole
20) Vince gives an FU to the smarks

Grand_Moff_Joseph		2012-04-30 05:02:28 PM

Reposted from the (world famous) post-WM thread:

j.wigflip.com

Dougie AXP		2012-04-30 06:00:54 PM

The truth of this headline....it hurts.

FirstNationalBastard		2012-04-30 06:02:13 PM

Dougie AXP: The truth of this headline....it hurts.

buttondown.mattalgren.com

robsul82		2012-04-30 06:02:42 PM

Next on Burning Money Through Idiotic Booking...

OHHHHHHHHH SOMETIMES I GET A GOOD FEELING THAT I FELT FROM YOU AND I LIKE IT YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FirstNationalBastard		2012-04-30 06:04:50 PM

robsul82: Next on Burning Money Through Idiotic Booking...

OHHHHHHHHH SOMETIMES I GET A GOOD FEELING THAT I FELT FROM YOU AND I LIKE IT YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

P-Money All $tar		2012-04-30 06:30:13 PM

Senile Vince		2012-04-30 06:46:44 PM

I am not SENILE you DAMN SMARKS! I know EXACTLY what the fans want and I am rolling in the dough needed to give it them. I had pudding with my lunch today and I think I just pooped myself.

SMARKS!

Dougie AXP		2012-04-30 06:49:44 PM

Senile Vince: I am not SENILE you DAMN SMARKS! I know EXACTLY what the fans want and I am rolling in the dough needed to give it them. I had pudding with my lunch today and I think I just pooped myself.

SMARKS!

Ok, time for an Alt Rundown:

Senile Vince
Moss Covered Three Handled Gredunza
Vince Russo
Bobby and The Gorilla

Am I missing any?

P-Money All $tar		2012-04-30 06:50:26 PM

Dougie AXP: Senile Vince: I am not SENILE you DAMN SMARKS! I know EXACTLY what the fans want and I am rolling in the dough needed to give it them. I had pudding with my lunch today and I think I just pooped myself.

SMARKS!

Ok, time for an Alt Rundown:

Senile Vince
Moss Covered Three Handled Gredunza
Vince Russo
Bobby and The Gorilla

Am I missing any?

CM DRUNK

Dougie AXP		2012-04-30 06:57:19 PM

All Rundown:

Senile Vince
Moss Covered Three Handled Gredunza
Vince Russo
Bobby and The Gorilla
CM Drunk

Feel free to add to this.

P-Money All $tar		2012-04-30 06:58:43 PM

P-Money All $tar		2012-04-30 07:02:32 PM

KellyKellyKelly		2012-04-30 07:20:44 PM

So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.

FirstNationalBastard		2012-04-30 07:22:55 PM

KellyKellyKelly: So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.

Mmmmmm.... big green clenis.

...like a stalk of farkin broccoli.

Dougie AXP		2012-04-30 07:23:17 PM

KellyKellyKelly: So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.

Is it the clenis?

hobblekitty		2012-04-30 07:23:52 PM

robsul82		2012-04-30 07:40:48 PM

Hogan promises he'll leave TNA if his genius idea of telling fans to film TNA wrestlers in real life doesn't help the business. That kind of derangement is one mighty late acting side effect from 'roid use.

FirstNationalBastard		2012-04-30 07:43:05 PM

Wow, I guess Extreme Rules really was extreme.

Twitch Boy		2012-04-30 07:46:41 PM

FirstNationalBastard: KellyKellyKelly: So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.

Mmmmmm.... big green clenis.

...like a stalk of farkin broccoli.

There went my dinner plans.

Fisty Bum		2012-04-30 07:47:58 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Wow, I guess Extreme Rules really was extreme.

That article was hilarious and awesome...and that's before the picture of He Who Shall Not Be Named.

FirstNationalBastard		2012-04-30 07:49:50 PM

Twitch Boy: FirstNationalBastard: KellyKellyKelly: So, there's an Avengers porn parody being released soon. Take a wild guess who's playing She-Hulk.

Mmmmmm.... big green clenis.

...like a stalk of farkin broccoli.

There went my dinner plans.

If they ever get her to play Starfire in a Teen Titans porn, the clenis will look like a baby carrot.

phedex		2012-04-30 08:11:26 PM

eagles95		2012-04-30 08:12:11 PM

FinFangFark		2012-04-30 08:13:05 PM

silgryphon		2012-04-30 08:13:30 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Wow, I guess Extreme Rules really was extremeFirstNationalBastard: Wow, I guess Extreme Rules really was extreme.

That was just odd

SharkTrager		2012-04-30 08:13:40 PM

NateGrey: FirstNationalBastard: NateGrey: Does the same person write the headlines for RAW each week? They all seem so...unique.

The bar for RAW headlines was raised in late February, when this was greenlit...

Rose petals blow lightly in the breeze as tears fall one by one to the canvas. A man sits sadly in the friend zone. Will he remain forever alone? Find out on a very special edition of Raw, tonight at 9 on USA

After that, the standard sports template "Will/what/where/can" type of headline was no longer the main event, but a fallback for when there was nothing else about the show that could be written.

The sad part is, though, this week's headline is all based on very real things that happened on last week's Raw. No Subby could come up with things as crazy or stupid as reality.

Thanks for the explanation.

The process also usually involves a mod greening my submission and then ungreening it.

tbaughm		2012-04-30 08:13:46 PM

P-Money All $tar: [i.imgur.com image 640x364]

Winner. Thread over.

phedex		2012-04-30 08:14:18 PM

damn!

TheManofPA		2012-04-30 08:14:21 PM

You know, I forgot to actually write up an Extreme Rules Guessing Game

So, here we go for tonight's Raw, yes it sucks, but enjoy

1 Point: What will HHH want to talk about?
2 Points: Is Cena going to be business as usual?
3 Points: Will Jericho-Punk continue for the next PPV?
4 Points: Who will Lord Tensai beat this week?
5 Points: Will Daniel Bryan be allowed to be in person in front of the crowd on Raw?

nyrkah1		2012-04-30 08:14:38 PM

Igor Jakovsky		2012-04-30 08:16:57 PM

P-Money All $tar: [i.imgur.com image 640x364]

Turd jokes still give me a chuckle. Thats why ORTON is my favorite wrassler!

tbaughm		2012-04-30 08:17:06 PM

TheManofPA: You know, I forgot to actually write up an Extreme Rules Guessing Game

So, here we go for tonight's Raw, yes it sucks, but enjoy

1 Point: What will HHH want to talk about?
2 Points: Is Cena going to be business as usual?
3 Points: Will Jericho-Punk continue for the next PPV?
4 Points: Who will Lord Tensai beat this week?
5 Points: Will Daniel Bryan be allowed to be in person in front of the crowd on Raw?

I'll play...

1: Trips will fire Teddy Long and collude with Johnny Ace
2: He'll sell, only to go on vacation
3: Please, dear lord...no
4: Ryder
5: Yes

Bobby_and_The_Gorilla		2012-04-30 08:17:50 PM

"Cena is out for a stretch Brain, what are we going to do now?"

"Well Monsoon, let's push the midcard, bring up some developmental talent, really get this youth movement going."

(simultaneously) "BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Let's get ready for the next Randy Orton world title reign, Monsoon!"

"Co-holding the tag team title with HHH!, RAW tonight!"

robsul82		2012-04-30 08:18:41 PM

Rags goal!

eagles95		2012-04-30 08:19:01 PM

Since everyone major did serious bumps last night, I'm expecting a good solid 12-16min of wrestling tonight. Triple Gagne talking will eat up 20min. Cena Gehrig will give his good bye speech alone in the ring which should be 20 min. Punk & Jericho about 20min. Divas piss break for 5min. YES! man and Funkasaurus total about 10min. Plus some backstage hijinks for the rest of the filler. Oh and Twitter mentions!!

robsul82		2012-04-30 08:19:23 PM

Oops, wrong thread. Back to waiting for Randy Orton to go back up the card.

LegacyDL		2012-04-30 08:20:15 PM

I swear the McMahon/Burns comparison is so sad that it's not even funny. I mean I still laugh but it's really really sad.

Also until the sheets prove otherwise I'm going to have to say that somehow someway Russo is involved.

Igor Jakovsky		2012-04-30 08:20:28 PM

also the Vince Burs meme is entertaining. Someone put Vinces head on Burns body or vice versa, Entertain Me FWC!

TheManofPA		2012-04-30 08:20:30 PM

tbaughm: TheManofPA: You know, I forgot to actually write up an Extreme Rules Guessing Game

So, here we go for tonight's Raw, yes it sucks, but enjoy

1 Point: What will HHH want to talk about?
2 Points: Is Cena going to be business as usual?
3 Points: Will Jericho-Punk continue for the next PPV?
4 Points: Who will Lord Tensai beat this week?
5 Points: Will Daniel Bryan be allowed to be in person in front of the crowd on Raw?

I'll play...

1: Trips will fire Teddy Long and collude with Johnny Ace
2: He'll sell, only to go on vacation
3: Please, dear lord...no
4: Ryder
5: Yes

My answers:
1) HHH will put himself over Lesner somehow
2) Cena isn't going anywhere
3) It will
4) Damn, I like the Ryder pick but instead I'll say Kofi
5) No, Irish will show up and they'll start with Del Rio

FirstNationalBastard		2012-04-30 08:20:34 PM

eagles95: Since everyone major did serious bumps last night, I'm expecting a good solid 12-16min of wrestling tonight. Triple Gagne talking will eat up 20min. Cena Gehrig will give his good bye speech alone in the ring which should be 20 min. Punk & Jericho about 20min. Divas piss break for 5min. YES! man and Funkasaurus total about 10min. Plus some backstage hijinks for the rest of the filler. Oh and Twitter mentions!!

Since everyone took serious bumps last night, Vince will schedule a 6 man clusterfark match so someone can get their elbow mangled.

It's tradition!

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