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(WCTI 12 New Bern)   15-year-old has to wear two-sided sign that reads, "I have a bad attitude. I disrespect people who try to help me"   (wcti12.com ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, public humiliation, totes  
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16214 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2012 at 11:50 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-29 03:20:18 PM  

A Terrible Human: ialdabaoth: Both are possible scenarios, and both happen with alarming regularity.

Yeah I know and it's a shiatty way to grow up.


I almost said "I don't know, I turned out okay" - but that would pop the bubble, wouldn't it?
 
2012-04-29 03:20:22 PM  
Has salt lick mentioned she's a lawyer? Cuz she is, just so you know..
 
2012-04-29 03:21:57 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: PainfulItching: I want off of this planet.

At least the parent(s) here are trying something. Anything short of physical violence. And I don't mean spanking. Misspelled sign, funny name, whatever, somebody is trying something to make this kid a better person. Everyone else biatching about it does not live in that house under those rules and has no say. So spare me.

We DO have a say, because these horribly ineffective parents are releasing their children on society as a whole, and they end in the court system, in prison, on treatment centers, on welfare, etc... at a huge cost to working adults.


How the hell is that us having a say? We have an interest, because we don't want this to happen, but we have no say. Christ, you're like a goldfish drowning on the floor, praying to yourself "I need water! Water must be coming soon because I need it! I couldn't possibly die, water will come soon!"

Newsflash: The universe has NO obligation to give you any power over things, just because they affect you.
 
2012-04-29 03:23:56 PM  

cookiefleck: Has salt lick mentioned she's a lawyer? Cuz she is, just so you know..



This is precisely why I started my little FARK stand-up routine this morning - I have finally run out of ability to take anyone's shiat seriously. No one pays attention to anything, no one cares about anything but their own little bubble of thought, and everyone is just talking past each other. So why the fark bother to communicate at all?
 
2012-04-29 03:24:13 PM  

Salt Lick Steady: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: And I don't know if your Fark persona is schtick, but it comes off as very hostile, overly defensive, and juvenile. And you're a lawyer, congratulations. One of my best friends graduated cum laude from Georgetown, but he decided to start a punk label instead of practicing, so let's just say having your JD isn't something I consider to be a significant accomplishment.

Either way, its been an interesting exchange, best of luck to you.

You really don't see yourself, do you? You call me sociopathic and several other names, you exclaim how you don't think my degree is much of an accomplishment, and you call me juvenile. Then you finish it with a disingenuous "best of luck." Look in the mirror.


Your Fark persona seems a bit sociopathic. That's not ad hominim, that's a a general observation. I have no idea if you're anything like your Fark persona. I kinda hope not.

Either way, we disagree. I think that parenting such as demonstrated in the article is not a solution, but a symptom of a larger issue of poor/ineffectual parenting. And you don't. I don't expect either of us will change the others mind, so there's nothing left to say. Best of luck to you.
 
2012-04-29 03:24:30 PM  
I saw a Quandria in the wild during my trip to New Guinea.
My favorite PC game by Sierra was Quandria IV: The King's Gold.
 
2012-04-29 03:24:41 PM  
http://wcti.m0bl.net/w/video/video/59758465/
Here is the video of the story
 
2012-04-29 03:25:03 PM  
Quandria, why, why, why, do black parents give farked up names to kids?

I was at the grocery store once and a black lady said to her daughter "come on Essence". I asked her, if essence was something smelly or stinky, she got this funny look on her face and said "you know, a few people has tolden me that". I just walked away shaking my head.
 
2012-04-29 03:25:55 PM  

cookiefleck: Has salt lick mentioned


Sorry, I didn't mean to press that point in particular.
 
2012-04-29 03:27:53 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: PainfulItching: I want off of this planet.

At least the parent(s) here are trying something. Anything short of physical violence. And I don't mean spanking. Misspelled sign, funny name, whatever, somebody is trying something to make this kid a better person. Everyone else biatching about it does not live in that house under those rules and has no say. So spare me.

We DO have a say, because these horribly ineffective parents are releasing their children on society as a whole, and they end in the court system, in prison, on treatment centers, on welfare, etc... at a huge cost to working adults.


Horribly ineffective - kid seems to be clothed, properly, I might add, well fed, not obese, knows enough not to walk in the middle of the road, only one misspelled word on a sign (which could have been her little bit of rebellion put back into this), performing punishment for breaking some kind of rule.

Nope, don't see it. And I'm as liberal as they get, before you try to guess which way I sway.
 
2012-04-29 03:28:31 PM  

I agree with you: Quandria, why, why, why, do black parents give farked up names to kids?

I was at the grocery store once and a black lady said to her daughter "come on Essence". I asked her, if essence was something smelly or stinky, she got this funny look on her face and said "you know, a few people has tolden me that". I just walked away shaking my head.


They choose those names because they think they're "ethnic" even though they're just ethnic-sounding. Sort of like if someone of German heritage named their child Spritzen or Dintelhaas. It's not an actual ethnic German name, but it sounds kinda like it could be.
 
2012-04-29 03:30:01 PM  

ialdabaoth: I almost said "I don't know, I turned out okay" - but that would pop the bubble, wouldn't it?


Nah the internet isn't serious business to me though I do find talking about things like this to be rather helpful. Better than fake pity at any rate.
 
2012-04-29 03:31:59 PM  

PainfulItching: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: PainfulItching: I want off of this planet.

At least the parent(s) here are trying something. Anything short of physical violence. And I don't mean spanking. Misspelled sign, funny name, whatever, somebody is trying something to make this kid a better person. Everyone else biatching about it does not live in that house under those rules and has no say. So spare me.

We DO have a say, because these horribly ineffective parents are releasing their children on society as a whole, and they end in the court system, in prison, on treatment centers, on welfare, etc... at a huge cost to working adults.

Horribly ineffective - kid seems to be clothed, properly, I might add, well fed, not obese, knows enough not to walk in the middle of the road, only one misspelled word on a sign (which could have been her little bit of rebellion put back into this), performing punishment for breaking some kind of rule.

Nope, don't see it. And I'm as liberal as they get, before you try to guess which way I sway.


Yeah, clothed, fed, and only slightly illiterate. I guess I have a unrealistically high standard for successful parenting if those are the only necessary qualifiers.
 
2012-04-29 03:32:37 PM  
This thread has devolved past the point of stupidity, but I'd love to apply to fark internet law school.. I'm sure it's conveniently located upstairs, right above fark's internet school of gynecology & women's studies.
 
2012-04-29 03:35:13 PM  
Didn't anybody notice the amusing headline next to the story?

Obi Wan Kenobi arrested
 
2012-04-29 03:36:52 PM  

cookiefleck: This thread has devolved past the point of stupidity, but I'd love to apply to fark internet law school.. I'm sure it's conveniently located upstairs, right above fark's internet school of gynecology & women's studies.


It only took 262 attempts, but finally, someone said something both smart and funny. Man, what a sour thread this is.
 
2012-04-29 03:36:56 PM  

cookiefleck: This thread has devolved past the point of stupidity, but I'd love to apply to fark internet law school.. I'm sure it's conveniently located upstairs, right above fark's internet school of gynecology & women's studies.


-30-
 
2012-04-29 03:37:21 PM  

Salt Lick Steady: Joshudan: Salt Lick Steady: Joshudan: My 14 year old tells me to DIAF pretty regularly.

Dude. What? Maybe because I was raised by a Marine and a teacher, but I would never get away with that without punishment. You just let him/her do that and brush it off?

I pick my battles. Talking back to me isnt one of the things that concerns me.

Just curious... what does concern you?


Im concerned with physical aggression, public outbursts, petting babies or small children, threatening strangers (especially people in uniforms). Oh and the proper use of the apostrophe. That is huge for me.
 
2012-04-29 03:38:58 PM  

Mambo Bananapatch: Didn't anybody notice the amusing headline next to the story?

Obi Wan Kenobi arrested


Every day I thank God my name is Dave. If my parents did nothing else right they at least gave me a name with dignity.
 
2012-04-29 03:39:12 PM  

Joshudan: Salt Lick Steady: Joshudan: Salt Lick Steady: Joshudan: My 14 year old tells me to DIAF pretty regularly.

Dude. What? Maybe because I was raised by a Marine and a teacher, but I would never get away with that without punishment. You just let him/her do that and brush it off?

I pick my battles. Talking back to me isnt one of the things that concerns me.

Just curious... what does concern you?

Im concerned with physical aggression, public outbursts, petting babies or small children, threatening strangers (especially people in uniforms). Oh and the proper use of the apostrophe. That is huge for me.


Yeah, we can tell.
 
2012-04-29 03:40:42 PM  

Joshudan: Oh and the proper use of the apostrophe. That is huge for me.


Heh, my mother was huge on the proper use of 'who' versus 'that'. If I had a nickel for every time she said "The person WHO! The person WHO went to the grocery store!!!"
 
2012-04-29 03:43:37 PM  

cookiefleck: This thread has devolved past the point of stupidity, but I'd love to apply to fark internet law school.. I'm sure it's conveniently located upstairs, right above fark's internet school of gynecology & women's studies.


No, it's a van ride away. There's free candy. You in?
 
2012-04-29 03:51:29 PM  

sallys: Yeah, 15. What else?


And that's part of the problem right there. 15-year-olds are supossed to be learning NOT to act like that, not being forgiven because they are 15.
 
2012-04-29 03:56:38 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: cookiefleck: I'm starting to believe I'm the only child raised in the 80's/90's that got a swift painful ass smack whenever I got "fresh"

Oh, no. You're definitely not the only one. I also got the soap in the mouth thing, but mine came with a twist: my mom used SoftSoap to make it extra memorable. It worked.


I'm from the opposite camp. My divorced mother (to her retrospective credit) was too busy working to do much hands-on parenting, with the completely unsurprising result that my brother and I got into stupid shiat on a pretty regular basis. Fortunately nothing too serious, but more for a lack of imagination than effort.

Today, as a single father, I know the potential risks of that parenting approach and assidously manage my work responsibilities so that oversignt of my daughter comes first. I know all of her friends their parents. I know all of her teachers and make it a point to touch base with them on a regular basis. And while I'm not big on physical punishment (in no small part because she saw enough violence when her mother was in the house), she knows that I will not hesitate to start laying on the consequences if she doesn't meet her responsibilities to herself, her family, and her community.

Kids do stupid shiat. That's kind of their job, especially as they get older. And that's why they have parents: to call them on it and do their best to set them straight.

My daughter's going on 13 so I know this won't last much longer, but right now there's nothing more earthshattering to her than to know she's dissapointed me. Because she knows I love and respect her, and that's at least marginally more important than acting like a damn fool.

/disclaimer: I spoil the hell out of her
//she's worth it
 
2012-04-29 03:59:51 PM  

Pathman: Somacandra:
I'm inclined to think if there isn't at least some resentment against your parents for disciplining you, you probably aren't successfully socialized. You need your resentment as proof of your agency and willpower, and you also need your discipline to know when it needs to be controlled and harnessed. Virtue is a often a mean between two extremes of vice and people need training to condition the conscience to act toward the mean in the absence of immediate external authorities. Resentment against your parents is not evidence per se of bad parenting.


whatever. my dad was a HUGE idiot when i was 15. now he's one of my best friends. it's amazing how much he has learned and grown in the past 15 years. it's like he's a new man entirely.


"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." - Mark Twain
 
2012-04-29 04:07:54 PM  
On a related note, doing a GIS for "Quandria" comes up with a new muppet character:

img28.imageshack.us

/picture links to a story about another Quandria.
 
2012-04-29 04:14:40 PM  

Lsherm: On a related note, doing a GIS for "Quandria" comes up with a new muppet character:

[img28.imageshack.us image 450x337]

/picture links to a story about another Quandria.


I was thinking the name "Quandria" was something of a public service. After all, if her peers want to use the obvious "quandary" taunt, they first need to know what a quandary is. I'd imagine that'd be quite a step up in the vocabulary department for most of them. She encourages learning.
 
2012-04-29 04:14:51 PM  

Stinkyy: Ok, great, but what if the girl didn't obey her father? Nothing he could do. Wonder what got her to comply with the punishment.


When my father was a junior and got to big for his britches and thought he could do what he wanted he came home one day to find his room emptied of all possessions, the door gone, and all his clothes replaced with t-shirts and jeans that had been freshly dyed pink. He was told he could either move out or stay and earn back the family's trust by acting like a decent human being. Parents have a lot of power, they just need to exercise it.
 
2012-04-29 04:17:49 PM  
"*Tsk* UNNNNuhhh! this TOTALLY doesn't go with my outfit! People are so mean! *Tsk* UNNNuhhh! I'm totally FB'ing this to my friends list and running away from home! *tsk* UNNNNuhhh!" Ah, teenaged girls. Everything starts working but their brains.
 
2012-04-29 04:42:12 PM  
More black parents should do this.

I applaud the Predator there...
 
2012-04-29 04:52:24 PM  

Salt Lick Steady: CasperImproved: Ever try to teach a puppy not to chew on things he/she shouldn't? You give them something they can acceptably chew on, and praise them when they do. When they go back to chewing on the wrong things, you nudge them back to the thing okay for them to chew on.

That is how life works....

I think I'm going to tag you as "Paints happy little trees"


/tags Salt Lick Steady as "smarmy, loveless, self-important prick"
 
2012-04-29 04:57:33 PM  
So what's the over-under on this being the first of many streets that Quandria walks?
 
2012-04-29 04:58:53 PM  

mcjam: Salt Lick Steady: CasperImproved: Ever try to teach a puppy not to chew on things he/she shouldn't? You give them something they can acceptably chew on, and praise them when they do. When they go back to chewing on the wrong things, you nudge them back to the thing okay for them to chew on.

That is how life works....

I think I'm going to tag you as "Paints happy little trees"

/tags Salt Lick Steady as "smarmy, loveless, self-important prick"


It's amazing to me how many people who scream "personal responsibility" and "actions have consequences" in other threads are in here decrying someone being forced to take responsibility for their actions and suffering consequences. Then you all decide to jump SLS for pointing it out. It's funny as hell seeing the mental contortions you're willing to use to justify "it's wrong to hurt feelings!" here when you're all about it elsewhere.

You bunch of douchebags.
 
2012-04-29 05:04:05 PM  

Carousel Beast: mcjam: Salt Lick Steady: CasperImproved: Ever try to teach a puppy not to chew on things he/she shouldn't? You give them something they can acceptably chew on, and praise them when they do. When they go back to chewing on the wrong things, you nudge them back to the thing okay for them to chew on.

That is how life works....

I think I'm going to tag you as "Paints happy little trees"

/tags Salt Lick Steady as "smarmy, loveless, self-important prick"

It's amazing to me how many people who scream "personal responsibility" and "actions have consequences" in other threads are in here decrying someone being forced to take responsibility for their actions and suffering consequences. Then you all decide to jump SLS for pointing it out. It's funny as hell seeing the mental contortions you're willing to use to justify "it's wrong to hurt feelings!" here when you're all about it elsewhere.

You bunch of douchebags.


Yeah, actions have consequences. When you fail as a parent, your daughter probably won't respet you, and you'll resort to forcing her to publicly humiliate herself, so everyone knows you're a big man who deserves respet.
 
2012-04-29 05:14:41 PM  
Well...obviously if the kid has a bad attitude, the thing to do is pillory her.
Literally. Put her in stocks and allow the townspeople to throw rotten produce at her. Poke her with sticks. Shout nasty insults at her.

That should improve her attitude. If it doesn't, then it's court ordered military school for re-education.
She needs to learn now her place as a cog in the machinery of society.
 
2012-04-29 05:24:17 PM  
I can't believe no one has mentioned that her name is Quandria
 
2012-04-29 05:27:52 PM  

Pathman: phalaeo: Salt Lick Steady: Joshudan: My 14 year old tells me to DIAF pretty regularly.

Dude. What? Maybe because I was raised by a Marine and a teacher, but I would never get away with that without punishment. You just let him/her do that and brush it off?

I know, right? What kind of parent allows their kid to talk to them like that? I would have gotten an ass-whooping if I told one of my parents to DIAF.

/and I've gotten my mouth washed out with soap
//that shiat's disgusting :/

[www.misfittoys.net image 600x340]

/highly obscure


Next, you'll tell me "Fra-jill-lee" is Italian.

/Somacandra wins the thread.
 
2012-04-29 05:30:20 PM  
Should say "not only am i a teen biatch with a attitude, I can't manage to spell words correctly."
 
2012-04-29 05:32:06 PM  
so which of the politics tab trolls is she?

/really i'm the first?
 
2012-04-29 05:35:52 PM  

Carousel Beast: It's amazing to me how many people who scream "personal responsibility" and "actions have consequences" in other threads are in here decrying someone being forced to take responsibility for their actions and suffering consequences. Then you all decide to jump SLS for pointing it out. It's funny as hell seeing the mental contortions you're willing to use to justify "it's wrong to hurt feelings!" here when you're all about it elsewhere.

You bunch of douchebags.


This is a school, parent, student related issues not a world wide news event designed to humiliate ones daughter for life.

Of course I am absolutely wrong though because it IS a world wide news event designed to humiliate ones daughter for life.

ONE WEEK and this girl commits suicide. She may not die right away but she is dead, dead, dead.
 
2012-04-29 05:36:07 PM  

cookiefleck: I'm starting to believe I'm the only child raised in the 80's/90's that got a swift painful ass smack whenever I got "fresh"


No...all my kids got spanked when they misbehaved. And they all knew better than to smart-mouth me. They are all grown up now and all productive human beings.
 
2012-04-29 05:36:36 PM  
My granny was Native American and public shaming and shunning seemed to be a pretty effective tool for keeping everyone in line, not just children. You had to tell everyone what you did then live with everyone knowing.

My mom would make us do community service. Not cool stuff like planting trees or working at the animal shelter. We had to slog shiat at the convalescent hospital or pick up dog shiat at the park or mow someone's lawn for free. As we got older, we got to go to the library and teach someone to read so that was cool.
 
2012-04-29 05:36:57 PM  

Trawg: CasperImproved: Trying to instill shame is a poor way to teach. Better that they would have had him perform charity/volunteer work for x hours.

Yep, wouldn't want to make these precious snowflakes feel ashamed for acting shamefully. That's an icky emotion that has no place in these infallible youngsters.


Wouldn't want to pay attention in our basic psych classes. After all, what would be the point of knowing that Quandria is probably growing up without several vital cues as to what an emotional abuser or brainwasher looks like, as well as under the impression that normally in a group, when one member of the group has a problem, the leader's job isn't to work through it with the group member, but rather to punish them?

/I can see the email now..."Ms. Quandria, you're being fired because you routinely abuse your employees by humiliating them, and three employees are starting legal procedures against you".
 
2012-04-29 05:40:45 PM  

herrDrFarkenstein: A 15 year old who is both disrespectful and can't spell the word. My kids are going to rule this country!


Neither you nor anyone else on this thread has any idea whether this girl is disrespectful. For those of you who were raised in a sit-com style world, here's a clue: cr@ppy parents are more than happy to tell all kinds of lies about their kids.
You really can't blindly accept as true the parents' version of events with so little information.
 
2012-04-29 05:42:29 PM  
That's not fair. Why should only one teenager wear that warning sign?

They should make up t-shirts and have them all wear it. And most of the "adults" aren't any better at telling when somebody is helping them, so they get to keep the t-shirts when they hit twenty.

Why is American society reverting to the stupid pillory punishments of Puritan times? The pious nostroms of Puritanism didn't work then, and they don't work now.

Oh, wait! Conservatism! I get it.
 
2012-04-29 05:42:38 PM  

PsiChick: Trawg: CasperImproved: Trying to instill shame is a poor way to teach. Better that they would have had him perform charity/volunteer work for x hours.

Yep, wouldn't want to make these precious snowflakes feel ashamed for acting shamefully. That's an icky emotion that has no place in these infallible youngsters.

Wouldn't want to pay attention in our basic psych classes. After all, what would be the point of knowing that Quandria is probably growing up without several vital cues as to what an emotional abuser or brainwasher looks like, as well as under the impression that normally in a group, when one member of the group has a problem, the leader's job isn't to work through it with the group member, but rather to punish them?

/I can see the email now..."Ms. Quandria, you're being fired because you routinely abuse your employees by humiliating them, and three employees are starting legal procedures against you".


It's so sad how many people are applauding this type of parenting.
 
2012-04-29 05:47:37 PM  

troubled adult: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: BronyMedic: tekmo: Public humiliation?

Young women shouldn't be taught that men have the right to shame them.

Wonderful parenting. Good job, dad.

You're going to need help too, someday, old man. I hope she tells you to go to hell.

Do you know how I know you don't work around kids?

Humiliation infront of their peers is one of the few things they're utterly terrified of.

Every single kid I knew growing up who was disciplined via public humiliation ended up a dysfunctional adult with a personality disorder and usually some substance abuse issues. The type of parent who thinks public shaking is appropriate magically ends up with children who act out. Almost like its the parenting that leads to the bad behavior in the first place.

Parents try and make punishment a personal achievement. After I proved I could live without anything but my school books, I was refused a ride to my SAT test from my foster parents as "punishment". They obviously didn't care about my future as much as their parenting skills. I was allowed to spend the night at a friends house and her mom drove me to the SAT.

/I was punished again when my score came in the mail.


My father pitched such a loud fit at an academic awards dinner my family and I attended, a school instructor came over and asked him to hold it down and my grandmother, who was also there, told him to shut the hell up. I thought I was there only for a free meal because my grades were decent. Instead, too my surprise I was recognized for achieving a 4.0 grade point average and given a token award for outstanding achievement in English. So, he promptly put me on restriction. There was a school party that very night, but I was on restriction for two weeks. My Grandparents were furious, but didn't feel they could do anything about it.
 
2012-04-29 05:51:25 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: PsiChick: Trawg: CasperImproved: Trying to instill shame is a poor way to teach. Better that they would have had him perform charity/volunteer work for x hours.

Yep, wouldn't want to make these precious snowflakes feel ashamed for acting shamefully. That's an icky emotion that has no place in these infallible youngsters.

Wouldn't want to pay attention in our basic psych classes. After all, what would be the point of knowing that Quandria is probably growing up without several vital cues as to what an emotional abuser or brainwasher looks like, as well as under the impression that normally in a group, when one member of the group has a problem, the leader's job isn't to work through it with the group member, but rather to punish them?

/I can see the email now..."Ms. Quandria, you're being fired because you routinely abuse your employees by humiliating them, and three employees are starting legal procedures against you".

It's so sad how many people are applauding this type of parenting.


Yes, it really is. I mean, I'm hardly a typical example (I have Asperger's, so in my case some of it was just that my mother gave off the signals another child would have picked up on), but I've been burned a few times because of things my family just doesn't do, like say 'I'm sorry' as part of an apology. That's shooting your kid in the foot, and you should not do it. Groundings work. If you need to fark with their heads, make a list of what they love and take away the top priority. You don't need extreme\attention whore methods unless you're trying to get attention for yourself, and that is bad parenting.
 
2012-04-29 05:52:55 PM  

stevierayfrog: Dad gets involved with other kids too.
Click me

I wonder if he wore a board a year ago after he drove with a revoked license.
Click me


I'm so relieved your comment on the first link was not sarcasm; that the link does not show that the man had been arrested for molesting or assaulting a child, I can't even care about the suspended license. Let the man drive on a suspended license. Maybe I'll care tomorrow.
 
2012-04-29 05:59:56 PM  

PsiChick:
Yes, it really is. I mean, I'm hardly a typical example (I have Asperger's, so in my case some of it was just that my mother gave off the signals another child would have picked up on), but I've been burned a few times because of things my family just doesn't do, like say 'I'm sorry' as part of an apology. That's shooting your kid in the foot, and you should not do it. Groundings work. If you need to fark with their heads, make a list of what they love and take away the top priority. You don't need extreme\attention whore methods unless you're trying to get attention for yourself, and that is bad parenting.


My ex-gf is a prime example of this type of parenting leading to a dysfunctional adult life. As an adolescent she was forced to clean the house every day after school, and if one thing was out of place, she was beaten with a rolled up phonebook. And one time she walked in on her parents having sex (in the living room, mind you, but they had told her to stay in her room), and for punishment they cut her hair an inch short all around with scissors, and this was during the school year.

She's now 33, and from the outside she seems like a happy, successful adult. She has a good job, and an outgoing personality. But she also binge drinks by herself, never cleans her apartment (except when family/friends come over), and is physically violent with her significant others (I was one of the few who was not physically violent in return.)

Children aren't created in a vacuum. Almost everything they do is a direct reflection of their parenting.
 
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