For the last two decades, I've been the acting chair at Berkley's ornithology department. As many of you may know, swans mate for life. And this particular picture not only physically depicts that fact, but it also confirms it spiritually and emotionally.

Male swans, as I've learned, are aggressive creatures. If I had to conjecture, which I'm often called upon to do, that woman was once a little girl. Fancy that! And as little girls are prone to do, she went skinny dipping in a pond. I would surmise that while in that pond, she was lured and seduced by the beautiful mating dance of an aphrodisiac inducing swan. He lured her close, rubbed his feathers on her cheeks, and then proceeded to have sexual intercourse with her. Wild? Yes, of course.

To the swan that was natural. It was the natural completion of a natural selective act. To the young woman? Well, that's up to conjecture, but I'm willing to bet my three PHds that she didn't waddle away from the act complaining. Swans have proven to be nature's most gentle and satisfying lovers. There was obviously no complaint on her part, because she returned to the pond each spring, succumbing to the swan's influence long enough for a statue to be carved by a curious stonesmith.

And who might that stonesmith be? Why none other than myself. So, without a doubt, I can tell you that the young woman actively and willing-fully engaged in sex with that duck from the time of her early teens until she passed away in her early thirties from an unknown illness, with flu type symptoms.

To call this obscene smacks in the very face of the definition of love. I will not stand respectfully by and watch the act of "bestiality" be denied its place in our legal statutes. Woman-on-man love exists. Man-on-man love exists. So where are we to draw the line at Swan-on-woman love? I shall'nt draw it. I shall'nt not.

The woman and the pony were posed before velvet draperies which were fringed with deedlee-balls. They were flanked by Doric columns. In front of one column was a potted palm. The Picture that Weary had was a print of the first dirty photograph in history. The word photography was first used in 1839, and it was in that year, too, that Louis J. M. Daguerre revealed to the French Academy that an image formed on a silvered metal plate covered with a thin film of silver iodide could be developed in the presence of mercury vapor.
In 1841, only two years later, an assistant to Daguerre, AndrÈ Le FËvre, was arrested in the Tuileries Gardens for attempting to sell a gentleman a picture of the woman and the pony. That was where Weary bought his picture,, too-in the Tuileries. Le FËvre argued that the picture was fine art, and that his intention was to make Greek mythology come alive. He said that columns and the potted palm proved that.
When asked which myth he meant to represent, Le FËvre, replied that there were thousands of myths like that, with the woman a mortal and the pony a god.
He was sentenced to six months in prison. He died there of pneumonia. So it goes.
-- Kurt Vonnegut Slaughterhouse Five

No Tudors yet?

Into Bestiality? Become a vet!

Not only will it be legal, you'll be *EXPECTED* to study and perform all sorts of sexual acts to animals. There are entire fields of study involved in finding the best way to jack off a horse and how to stick your arm deep, deep, deep inside the inner-workings of a mare and impregnate it. I mean, hell, you can be jerkin off horses professionally as an intern on a farm while you aspire to be accepted into vet school.

And it's not just horses - they do this stuff all the time. Wanna go shoulder deep into a sheep or cow? Be a vet!
Want to study pictures of cow vag? Details charts and diagrams? Be a vet!

I used to date a girl who really did work on a horse farm. They had a steady supply of cute college-aged vet student wanna-bes from the local state school who would spend their summers helping with the horse jerking off, horse impregnating, and horse birthing. I am still convinced that, if you could just pay them to do their regular job (IE jerking off horses) while in bikinis or topless - video tape it - and throw it up on the internet; you'd be rich. Rich I tell you.

I pitched the idea to the girl I was dating. Not because *I* wanted to see that stuff; but because I felt like I could make a lot of money selling it on the internet. Let's just say she's no longer my girlfriend.....

vudukungfu: Last Man on Earth: Lord love a duck.

/So did Leda

That movie had the creepiest scene in it unless you like seeing girls with "Daddy" issues.

Huh? Not sure what movie you mean. I was quoting an episode of Boston Legal.

FTA: "A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police said the incident had not been recorded as a crime"

Sooo...it wasn't actually a bestiality charge?

Sissy gallery owners should not have caved to some bus-riding cop. Asking for an actual legal statue they police were trying to enforce might have let them keep their art.

/yes, statue. it's an article

By that kind of logic I want this piece of art taken down for it's depiction of cannibalism

Pecker? I hardly know her!

you know you'd watch.