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(Telegraph)   Swan porn? That'll be a bestiality charge   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 97
    More: Asinine, swans, metropolitan, ronnie woods, Leonardo da Vinci  
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12128 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2012 at 11:07 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-29 12:21:13 AM

vudukungfu: Last Man on Earth: Lord love a duck.

/So did Leda

That movie had the creepiest scene in it unless you like seeing girls with "Daddy" issues.


Huh? Not sure what movie you mean. I was quoting an episode of Boston Legal.
 
2012-04-29 12:24:22 AM

spentmiles: For the last two decades, AWESOMENESS REDACTED I shall'nt not.


R.I.P, Roger DeSwans.
 
2012-04-29 12:25:35 AM

Last Man on Earth: Huh? Not sure what movie you mean. I was quoting an episode of Boston Legal.


Link
 
2012-04-29 12:27:22 AM

Bathysphere: Csb time...

I had a dream a few weeks back, that I had sex with a crane or stork type bird. As I am not a furry, I woke up feeling confused and violated.


"Feathery"?

Also, I'd like to take this oppotunity to recommend the entertaining short film, "The Hunter And The Swan Discuss Their Meeting".
 
2012-04-29 12:28:08 AM

Last Man on Earth: Not sure what movie you mean


Specifically, this scene when daddy takes daughter sweater shopping.
 
2012-04-29 12:29:13 AM
Kinda looks like Linsey Lohan, eh?
Now you know where her daddy is coming from.
/Knows his perverts.
 
2012-04-29 12:30:18 AM

FirstNationalBastard: We're soon going to be arresting anyone with paintings of cherubs for possession of child porn, right?


That can't still be legal, right?
 
2012-04-29 12:50:33 AM

vudukungfu: Link


I know you are watching this Harvey Korman classic now, but I thought I would point out that the director of photography is one Daniel F. Fapp.

/yeah, they trolled hard in the '60s
 
2012-04-29 12:54:00 AM
Daniel L. Fapp.

Rats, I accidentally the whole name.
Frederick Fapp was the inventor of the thing-a-ma-jizz and the Do-Dadday.
/Died penniless after amassing a rather large fortune welling "novelties" at fairs to hill folk starved for gagamentation.
//He was both the Steven Jobs, and the Adam and Eve of his time, however.
///Sad, really.
 
2012-04-29 01:00:00 AM
entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com
 
2012-04-29 01:06:24 AM

Great Janitor: Reminds me of a lecture from college where the Professor said "Nothing is offensive until we are told that is it offensive." and explained how that was true for not just offensive things, but of other things as well. A guy who has a book of fictional stories of preteens having sex is okay until we are told that he is creepy and those fictional stories are no different than actually owning movies of real kids having sex.

Here we have classic works of art, someone tells us that it is beastiality and now, it is that.


Time to ban Grimm's Fairy Tales, I guess. They're just chock-full of all kinds of who-knows-what. Beastiality, necrophilia, cannibalism, murder, rape, child abduction, and then the perpetrators get REWARDED for their misdeeds. Also raped.
 
2012-04-29 01:11:36 AM

Jimmy_James: The actual picture is quite a bit different than the statue pictured in the article. Trying to raise that to bestiality is still a hell of a stretch but if that actual picture was visible while riding by on a bus (i.e. highly public) that's definitely pushing social norms. Not agreeing that government has any right to force them to take it down but sometimes a bit of tact on the part of gallery owner is a good idea.


Agreed. Definitely an over-zealous cop, but the actual picture is more Mapplethorpe than DaVinci. At full size, I'm assuming it has far greater impact. If this happened in the US, the far right would demand the NEA be cut. Right after they gave big tax cuts to the rich, of course.
 
2012-04-29 01:16:06 AM

vudukungfu: Daniel L. Fapp.

Rats, I accidentally the whole name.
Frederick Fapp was the inventor of the thing-a-ma-jizz and the Do-Dadday.
/Died penniless after amassing a rather large fortune welling "novelties" at fairs to hill folk starved for gagamentation.
//He was both the Steven Jobs, and the Adam and Eve of his time, however.
///Sad, really.


I did a Wiki and found this gem. Check out the movies he participated in. There is one called Lord Love a Duck or some such. And there are a few other bird movies referenced in there. Could this be a family thing?
fuav.com
 
2012-04-29 01:22:02 AM

vudukungfu: Last Man on Earth: Lord love a duck.

/So did Leda

That movie had the creepiest scene in it unless you like seeing girls with "Daddy" issues.


Creepier than a scene where a woman is raped by an ejactulating puppet until she loves it.

/Yes it was a French movie
//No I didn't know that's what the movie was about
 
2012-04-29 01:27:10 AM
Farkin' nanny state. I hope that no one in authority ever goes over to the British Museum where all those treasures from ancient Greece are on display. The authorities will then see more examples of bestiality as well as pederasty!
 
2012-04-29 01:37:01 AM

rooftop235: Could this be a family thing?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
^
Your head.
The joke missed it.

He did (L did) have a knack for being a hardworking American.
/Remember work ethics?
And he had a shoe in with West Side Story because no one wanted to touch it.
/Remember racism? Oh we all do. If you know the words, sing along.
But Daniel F. was largely forgotten in the annuls of time and history.
I highly doubt there ever was a familial connection.
/Or a Daniel F Fapp.Unless he was the same guy. In fact Wikky, as intellectually accurate as it is, would have us believe it, when combined with the Google-Fu. But I was making a joke specific to the film credits of Lord Love a Duck, which I snuck into the first showing of in 1967, when the ripped and tattered reels had made it to the backwash Appalachian town that I grew up in. I remember being ten years old and collecting pop bottles by the roadside with my cousins so we could take them to the gas station on that hot summer's day, knowing that an air-conditioned premises would take us away to Hollywood Land and give us a thrill. And I remember being ten and feeling funny in my pants, and not in a "spilled a Pepsi" sort of way. Halley Mills was better than any of those girls I saw in the Elvis flicks.
And, she had a wild child innocence about her. The kind that cannot be reproduced by young women of her age. It would seem that Chloe Moretz has inherited that and not Ms.Lohan, whom has all the potential of being either the next Ann Margret ot Keith Moon, take your pick. yes, this is indeed, the longest last slashie I have ever proudly had the opportunity to produce, but I'm on break from writing a script at this moment, and not having a smoke, or bourbon and water, so I have the liberty of being loquacious. I do hope you shall forgive me.
 
2012-04-29 01:37:28 AM
There has to be something in all of those cheap, Chinese products that's driving people stock raving mad. There just has to be. It would explain so much.
 
2012-04-29 01:37:46 AM

Tickle Mittens: I didn't know that's what the movie was about


Thta'[s what I told the cops, too.
 
2012-04-29 01:47:42 AM

vudukungfu: Tickle Mittens: I didn't know that's what the movie was about

Thta'[s what I told the cops, too.


I don't have to tell the police anything, I'm white.

/I like to throw in a 'Have a nice day, officer!'
 
2012-04-29 01:52:34 AM

Skyrmion: The Hunter And The Swan Discuss Their Meeting".


sweet
 
2012-04-29 02:13:35 AM

Jimmy_James: The actual picture is quite a bit different than the statue pictured in the article. Trying to raise that to bestiality is still a hell of a stretch but if that actual picture was visible while riding by on a bus (i.e. highly public) that's definitely pushing social norms. Not agreeing that government has any right to force them to take it down but sometimes a bit of tact on the part of gallery owner is a good idea.


The greek mythology is what it is... there's a lot of rape, pillaging, plundering, violence, and objectionable material in it, but that doesn't mean society needs uniformed goons to protect us from stories that are thousands of years old.
 
2012-04-29 02:16:35 AM

firefly212: society needs uniformed goons to protect us from stories that are thousands of years old.


People's exhibit A: The Bible.
People's exhibit B: The Koran.
People's exhibit C: The Torah.
 
2012-04-29 02:52:09 AM
peachyforum.com

/hot, hot, hot
 
2012-04-29 02:55:10 AM

gerrymander: [peachyforum.com image 512x768]

/hot, hot, hot


That picture just screams "I don't know what to do with my hands if I am not wearing a thong".

NTTAWWT...
 
2012-04-29 03:06:27 AM

Great Janitor: Reminds me of a lecture from college where the Professor said "Nothing is offensive until we are told that is it offensive." and explained how that was true for not just offensive things, but of other things as well. A guy who has a book of fictional stories of preteens having sex is okay until we are told that he is creepy and those fictional stories are no different than actually owning movies of real kids having sex.

Here we have classic works of art, someone tells us that it is beastiality and now, it is that.


I disagree. It's not offensive at all. However at a basic level, someone should know the difference between right and wrong. it's the people who get warped by their parents or legal guardians that screw up those boundaries. So I disagree completely. Offensive is a matter of moral and societal norms.


Btw, this art? not beastaility. A picture of a woman doing something unwholesome to a horse? That would be beastaility.
 
2012-04-29 03:58:59 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: [img812.imageshack.us image 400x277]


Welp, I'm done with this thread, sorry for any good insight afterwards.

TMLO knows the way to Total Farkism, learn from him.
 
2012-04-29 04:09:05 AM

spentmiles: For the last two decades, I've been the acting chair at Berkley's ornithology department. As many of you may know, swans mate for life. And this particular picture not only physically depicts that fact, but it also confirms it spiritually and emotionally.

Male swans, as I've learned, are aggressive creatures. If I had to conjecture, which I'm often called upon to do, that woman was once a little girl. Fancy that! And as little girls are prone to do, she went skinny dipping in a pond. I would surmise that while in that pond, she was lured and seduced by the beautiful mating dance of an aphrodisiac inducing swan. He lured her close, rubbed his feathers on her cheeks, and then proceeded to have sexual intercourse with her. Wild? Yes, of course.

To the swan that was natural. It was the natural completion of a natural selective act. To the young woman? Well, that's up to conjecture, but I'm willing to bet my three PHds that she didn't waddle away from the act complaining. Swans have proven to be nature's most gentle and satisfying lovers. There was obviously no complaint on her part, because she returned to the pond each spring, succumbing to the swan's influence long enough for a statue to be carved by a curious stonesmith.

And who might that stonesmith be? Why none other than myself. So, without a doubt, I can tell you that the young woman actively and willing-fully engaged in sex with that duck from the time of her early teens until she passed away in her early thirties from an unknown illness, with flu type symptoms.

To call this obscene smacks in the very face of the definition of love. I will not stand respectfully by and watch the act of "bestiality" be denied its place in our legal statutes. Woman-on-man love exists. Man-on-man love exists. So where are we to draw the line at Swan-on-woman love? I shall'nt draw it. I shall'nt not.


Ladies and Gentleman, Pocket Ninja's Alt

/fav'd as "Master Trollsmith".
 
2012-04-29 04:28:02 AM
Cops in every country are total farkasses.
 
2012-04-29 06:21:18 AM
Into Bestiality? Become a vet!

Not only will it be legal, you'll be *EXPECTED* to study and perform all sorts of sexual acts to animals. There are entire fields of study involved in finding the best way to jack off a horse and how to stick your arm deep, deep, deep inside the inner-workings of a mare and impregnate it. I mean, hell, you can be jerkin off horses professionally as an intern on a farm while you aspire to be accepted into vet school.

And it's not just horses - they do this stuff all the time. Wanna go shoulder deep into a sheep or cow? Be a vet!
Want to study pictures of cow vag? Details charts and diagrams? Be a vet!

I used to date a girl who really did work on a horse farm. They had a steady supply of cute college-aged vet student wanna-bes from the local state school who would spend their summers helping with the horse jerking off, horse impregnating, and horse birthing. I am still convinced that, if you could just pay them to do their regular job (IE jerking off horses) while in bikinis or topless - video tape it - and throw it up on the internet; you'd be rich. Rich I tell you.

I pitched the idea to the girl I was dating. Not because *I* wanted to see that stuff; but because I felt like I could make a lot of money selling it on the internet. Let's just say she's no longer my girlfriend.....
 
2012-04-29 06:47:29 AM

vudukungfu: rooftop235: Could this be a family thing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
^
Your head.
The joke missed it.

He did (L did) have a knack for being a hardworking American.
/Remember work ethics?
And he had a shoe in with West Side Story because no one wanted to touch it.
/Remember racism? Oh we all do. If you know the words, sing along.
But Daniel F. was largely forgotten in the annuls of time and history.
I highly doubt there ever was a familial connection.
/Or a Daniel F Fapp.Unless he was the same guy...


Good lord. I'm away from Fark for one evening, and it becomes a Fapp fest.

/so very, very disappointed in all of you
 
2012-04-29 07:35:49 AM
chud.com

No Tudors yet?
 
2012-04-29 08:22:58 AM
Link, Link photo(s) in question (boobies, so NSFW)
 
2012-04-29 09:12:04 AM
Approved by the Council of Approvers

caffeinatedthoughts.com4.bp.blogspot.comreddogreport.com width="600" height="337">www.bloomberg.com
 
2012-04-29 10:33:33 AM

Last Man on Earth: Lord love a duck.

/So did Leda


sexedmusic.files.wordpress.com

As did Beverly.
 
2012-04-29 10:50:54 AM
Surprised no one's linked to this yet: Link (Somewhat NSFW) Garfunkel & Oate's views on the subject.
 
2012-04-29 11:14:21 AM
"The first time I ever came close actually to sending a publisher to prison for something I had written was about 1986 or 1987, for Knockabout's Outrageous Tales From The Old Testament: I'd retold a story from the Book of Judges that contained a rape and murder, and this was held to have contravened a Swedish law depicting images of violence against women. The case was only won when the defense pointed out that the words were from the King James version of the bible, and that the images were a fair representation thereof..."

~Neil Gaiman, "Why Defend Freedom of Icky Speech? Link

Book in question: Link
 
2012-04-29 11:15:31 AM

Ghastly: What a load of bull. Good thing it wasn't the rape of Europa.

/oh my country!


First thing I thought of.

Of course my daughter just did the seeds of two worlds puzzle in Assassin's Creed 2, so...
 
2012-04-29 11:16:23 AM

dahmers love zombie: OK, let's just go ahead and call Western Civilization dead, shall we? Last one out please grab the Mona Lisa.


I'm sure the ancient Greeks would heartily agree with you.
 
SH
2012-04-29 11:21:37 AM
Cops being dicks in other countries?

Makes me feel better somehow.
 
2012-04-29 11:36:12 AM

Ghastly: What a load of bull. Good thing it wasn't the rape of Europa.

/oh my country!


Or a painting of Prometheus, as that would "condone torture" now.
 
2012-04-29 11:42:51 AM
Nobody show these people The Fisherman's Wife, heads will assplode!
 
2012-04-29 12:55:48 PM
I'm guessing the cops are white Christians?
 
2012-04-29 01:00:32 PM

vudukungfu: Last Man on Earth: Huh? Not sure what movie you mean. I was quoting an episode of Boston Legal.

Link


wtf was that?
 
2012-04-29 01:10:17 PM

vudukungfu: Last Man on Earth: Not sure what movie you mean

Specifically, this scene when daddy takes daughter sweater shopping.


I guess you had to be there. It just looks silly as all fk. The sweaters are not sexy, and you can't even tell what the colors are, papaya, periwinkle, it's all shades of gray, and you can't tell her body at all, she might as well be wearing a burqa. Since she's obviously a grown ass woman, she looks like some chick out with her older male co-worker. If she looked like she were a 12 year old and was making with the sex squeals that would be different.

And his facial contortions make it look like he's in on the joke, not that he's turned on or about to ejaculate in his pants. Definitely a 'had to be there', and that's alright.

So what was the real point of the scene? Was it truly sexy for the time period, in which case it's all good, different standards for different eras. Or was it supposed to make fun of folks who have fetishes for objects and can't connect with people sexually?
 
2012-04-29 01:23:47 PM

docilej: I'm guessing the cops are white Christians?


Isn't everyone?
 
2012-04-29 02:41:10 PM
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-04-29 03:11:59 PM
"They said the photograph suggested we condoned bestiality, which was an arrestable offence," she said.

So wait a minute, does this mean that there is no furry art in England? If so then I might actually be OK with England's status as Queen of the Nanny States.
 
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