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(Newser)   Memo to Secret Service agents: no more drinking alcohol within 10 hours of working; no bringing foreigners to your hotel rooms; and, no going to "non-reputable" establishments   (newser.com) divider line 76
    More: Obvious, espionages, memoranda, hotels, United States House Committee on Homeland Security, institutions  
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2345 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2012 at 2:46 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-28 12:22:08 PM
Dear past Secret Service agents,

Thanks for farking it up for the rest of us.

Up yours,
Current & future Secret Service agents
 
2012-04-28 12:24:42 PM
So reputable whorehouses are OK, then.
 
2012-04-28 12:28:52 PM
"non-reputable" establishments?

/How the hell can they do there jobs without going into the Capitol Building?
 
2012-04-28 12:30:29 PM
I wonder if the guy who started all of this because he was too cheap to pay his whore has any friends left.
 
2012-04-28 12:34:16 PM

Pocket Ninja: I wonder if the guy who started all of this because he was too cheap to pay his whore has any friends left.


Seriously (hence my post). I bet the Secret Service was an awesome job. Sure you might die for the president, but A) you (well, history) will get to say you died for the president, and B) you get to party a hell of a lot before that hypothetical situation (which may never even occur).

Now they are cracking down, so the risk/fun ratio is getting screwed. I wouldn't wanna be one right now.
 
2012-04-28 12:45:45 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-28 01:03:02 PM

scottydoesntknow: Pocket Ninja: I wonder if the guy who started all of this because he was too cheap to pay his whore has any friends left.

Seriously (hence my post). I bet the Secret Service was an awesome job. Sure you might die for the president, but A) you (well, history) will get to say you died for the president, and B) you get to party a hell of a lot before that hypothetical situation (which may never even occur).

Now they are cracking down, so the risk/fun ratio is getting screwed. I wouldn't wanna be one right now.


When I was the Air Force, I was lucky enough to work with some agents. (I was a explosives detector dog handler, so I would be sent out to support them when the President was visiting.) They were great people, thoroughly professional and always mindful the image they presented. This is not say they didn't party, but only after the primary had left, never before or during. I guess standards have slipped in the intervening 20 years.
 
2012-04-28 01:07:14 PM

Ennuipoet: When I was the Air Force, I was lucky enough to work with some agents. (I was a explosives detector dog handler, so I would be sent out to support them when the President was visiting.) They were great people, thoroughly professional and always mindful the image they presented. This is not say they didn't party, but only after the primary had left, never before or during. I guess standards have slipped in the intervening 20 years.


You almost the whole Air Force?
 
2012-04-28 01:18:51 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Ennuipoet: When I was the Air Force, I was lucky enough to work with some agents. (I was a explosives detector dog handler, so I would be sent out to support them when the President was visiting.) They were great people, thoroughly professional and always mindful the image they presented. This is not say they didn't party, but only after the primary had left, never before or during. I guess standards have slipped in the intervening 20 years.

You almost the whole Air Force?


No, you misunderstood. He WAS the Air Force.
 
2012-04-28 01:21:46 PM
I wish I was a branch of the military.
 
2012-04-28 01:27:26 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: You almost the whole Air Force?


Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: No, you misunderstood. He WAS the Air Force.


It was hard, but it was before the Wars, so I wasn't as busy as they are now.

Shostie: I wish I was a branch of the military.


Be the Marines, they get laid a lot more.
 
2012-04-28 02:51:28 PM

Shostie: I wish I was a branch of the military.


Move to Canada. I hear the Navy is retiring soon. You could be the replacement Navy.
 
2012-04-28 02:51:47 PM
So soldiers can screw hookers and abuse alcohol when they're overseas, and nobody says a word, but if a Secret Service agent want to have a drink and a night with a paid partner, everyone goes ballistic?

This is tragically unfair.

/But then, I don't care. I never pay for it, and I'm not an SS agent.
 
2012-04-28 02:53:02 PM

oukewldave: Shostie: I wish I was a branch of the military.

Move to Canada. I hear the Navy is retiring soon. You could be the replacement Navy.


I hear the Old Navy is going to end up in the mall.
 
2012-04-28 02:53:21 PM
I'm shocked that they didn't already have strict rules of conduct for SS from before this incident...

/Soldiers at the tomb of the unknowns got serious regulations, and they only guard dead people.
/Not the freaken POTUS!
 
2012-04-28 02:53:23 PM
One more step towards a complete nanny state. Excuse me if I want my secret service agents more like 007 than Inspector Gadget. I trust the judgment of these proud men and I don't care what they do with their spare time. And where exactly are the reputable establishments? The Church? The White House? The Courthouses? I'm sure more atrocities of Lady Justice are occurring in those places than in the slimiest of brothels. Unless there's a brothel where you get to have anal intercourse with a ten year old boy while you mash the drone missile button with his forehead, firing indiscriminately, all while stripping away Baby Trayvon's rights to justice. The whole situation is a joke.
 
2012-04-28 02:55:18 PM
Talk about taking all the fun out of a job.
 
2012-04-28 02:56:53 PM
"no going to "non-reputable" establishments"

So I guess the Republican National Convention is out of the question?
 
2012-04-28 02:57:58 PM
Translation: Be more discrete about doing silly things.
Boys club is boys club, it'll never change.
 
2012-04-28 02:58:29 PM
It's like the junior SS agents (whoops, Secret Service) agents are the New Orleans Saints management and the senior Secret Service supervisors are Roger Goodell.
You've got one chance to pound down hard and make an example.
 
2012-04-28 02:58:34 PM
The fact that this is a controversy in the US is really strange to me.

Then again, so is the fact that prostitution is illegal...

/I'm sure this isn't a novel idea, but why can't 'actresses' (definitely not prostitutes) just sell personalized pornos? Just use an old tape-based video recorder, and give it to the John to destroy.
 
2012-04-28 02:59:29 PM
Adam Carolla brought up a somewhat valid point: If you're the kind of guy that is willing to throw yourself between a bullet and the President of the United States, you've got some serious testosterone flowing through you... the kind of testosterone levels that make you want to fark anything not nailed down within a 10-mile radius of your person.

That being said, you can't have the people in charge of securing the most important man in the world being compromised by whores.
 
2012-04-28 03:00:15 PM

Shostie: I wish I was a branch of the military.


I am an Army of One.
 
2012-04-28 03:01:02 PM

Pocket Ninja: I wonder if the guy who started all of this because he was too cheap to pay his whore has any friends left.


After all, how much can a Columbian hooker cost in American $$? Cheap bastard.
 
2012-04-28 03:02:26 PM

Ennuipoet: MaudlinMutantMollusk: You almost the whole Air Force?

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: No, you misunderstood. He WAS the Air Force.

It was hard, but it was before the Wars, so I wasn't as busy as they are now.

Shostie: I wish I was a branch of the military.

Be the Marines, they get laid a lot more.


Gay for pay barracks porn doesn't count.
 
2012-04-28 03:04:21 PM

Marine1: That being said, you can't have the people in charge of securing the most important man in the world being compromised by whores.


Well, no more trips to Congress. I think compromised by whores may be the most succinct definition of the American political system ever.
 
2012-04-28 03:04:42 PM

ZoeNekros: The fact that this is a controversy in the US is really strange to me.

Then again, so is the fact that prostitution is illegal...

/I'm sure this isn't a novel idea, but why can't 'actresses' (definitely not prostitutes) just sell personalized pornos? Just use an old tape-based video recorder, and give it to the John to destroy.


Well... worst-case scenario, one of those women is used by some organization to compromise details on the President's/other officials' security. It's the same reason that you would want to make sure that a spy isn't sleeping with a spy on the other side.
 
2012-04-28 03:05:57 PM
The thing is, if they expensed it to the US govt, then can their asses if they are billing us for it.

If they just filed the usual M&IE for foreign location, and didn't try to get comped for actual services, then that's slightly different.

There's some ethical standards in the government travel rules. I don't think "$ cost for prostitutes" is a valid expense item, but I don't work for the secret service.

At the same time, they are public servants. They have standards that they need to follow.

If you're on foreign travel, you should not be doing stupid shiat that might cause harm to the US government. If you're on domestic travel, you should not be doing stupid shiat that might harm the US government. It's one of those common sense things.

Doesn't mean you can't go out & get drunk, but going out & getting drunk & getting in a brawl/running over civilians with your Humvee/bringing hookers to your room... you kind of have to expect something bad might happen to you if it gets in the press.

/public service is not carte blanche to break US rules when not in your own backyard, or even when you are in your own backyard
 
2012-04-28 03:17:23 PM

Trance750: "no going to "non-reputable" establishments"


Now they're just going to have to get secret "service".

/all week
//veal
///tip your waitress
 
2012-04-28 03:22:54 PM

oukewldave: Shostie: I wish I was a branch of the military.

Move to Canada. I hear the Navy is retiring soon. You could be the replacement Navy.


Only if you can handle a canoe and know how to make proper gravy for the fries.
 
2012-04-28 03:27:56 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Ennuipoet: When I was the Air Force, I was lucky enough to work with some agents. (I was a explosives detector dog handler, so I would be sent out to support them when the President was visiting.) They were great people, thoroughly professional and always mindful the image they presented. This is not say they didn't party, but only after the primary had left, never before or during. I guess standards have slipped in the intervening 20 years.

You almost the whole Air Force?

No, you misunderstood. He WAS the Air Force.


Reminds me of this.
 
2012-04-28 03:32:31 PM
Are they still forbidden from eating after midnight?
 
2012-04-28 03:34:15 PM
"no going to "non-reputable" establishments"

How on earth are they supposed to accompany the President to Congress for the State of the Union then?
 
2012-04-28 03:39:49 PM

sk8r: Pocket Ninja: I wonder if the guy who started all of this because he was too cheap to pay his whore has any friends left.

After all, how much can a Columbian hooker cost in American $$? Cheap bastard.


In this case, $800.
 
2012-04-28 03:44:12 PM
Things sure as hell werent like this under Clinton
 
2012-04-28 03:46:12 PM

mikaloyd: Things sure as hell werent like this under Clinton


Nope. Only he was getting "the service"
 
2012-04-28 03:46:34 PM
n00bs will eff up any party scene.
 
2012-04-28 03:49:54 PM

ZeroCorpse: So soldiers can screw hookers and abuse alcohol when they're overseas, and nobody says a word, but if a Secret Service agent want to have a drink and a night with a paid partner, everyone goes ballistic?

This is tragically unfair.

/But then, I don't care. I never pay for it, and I'm not an SS agent.


No, back in 2006 soldiers were banned from obtaining prostitutes or anything that is illegal back in the states. I'm not sure if they can in Nevada or not.
 
2012-04-28 03:51:54 PM
Isn't that what they're taught in basic training.
 
2012-04-28 04:10:40 PM

Ennuipoet: Be the Marines, they get laid a lot more.


False.

The Marines who regularly do overseas support for presidential visits already have more restrictive rules than these new ones that the SS is just now having to follow.

There was a detachment of Marines in Columbia working that presidential visit who were not involved. They were not involved because their predecessors farked it all up a long time ago.
 
2012-04-28 04:22:12 PM

The WindowLicker: Ennuipoet: Be the Marines, they get laid a lot more.

False.

The Marines who regularly do overseas support for presidential visits already have more restrictive rules than these new ones that the SS is just now having to follow.

There was a detachment of Marines in Columbia working that presidential visit who were not involved. They were not involved because their predecessors farked it all up a long time ago.


Orly?
 
2012-04-28 04:35:55 PM

MindStalker: ZeroCorpse: So soldiers can screw hookers and abuse alcohol when they're overseas, and nobody says a word, but if a Secret Service agent want to have a drink and a night with a paid partner, everyone goes ballistic?

This is tragically unfair.

/But then, I don't care. I never pay for it, and I'm not an SS agent.

No, back in 2006 soldiers were banned from obtaining prostitutes or anything that is illegal back in the states. I'm not sure if they can in Nevada or not.


What about alcohol for someone who is not yet 21 but stationed in a country where they are of legal age?
 
2012-04-28 04:36:30 PM

namegoeshere: The WindowLicker: Ennuipoet: Be the Marines, they get laid a lot more.

False.

The Marines who regularly do overseas support for presidential visits already have more restrictive rules than these new ones that the SS is just now having to follow.

There was a detachment of Marines in Columbia working that presidential visit who were not involved. They were not involved because their predecessors farked it all up a long time ago.

Orly?


Ya Rly!

The stories floating around vary... but I have it on pretty good authority that this hooker was ejected from the vehicle about the time she started trying to negotiate a rate. Marines are pretty DTF, but not too many of them are willing to go full bangbus in the detachment vehicle (with a state department supervisor there as well.)

Of course, that did not stop their regional command from burning everyone involved. She is just coming up again now because she realized that with the Columbia incident she might be able to get some airtime.

Second, the Marines in country have a lot more experience dealing with the visa/wallet seeking missiles found overseas. Bringing the hooker back to your own hotel, and getting into loud negotiations after the fact are noob mistakes.

The Marines that first screwed it all up were the ones involved in the Clayton Lonetree debacle during the 80's. Ever since then, the job has steadily gotten worse.
 
2012-04-28 04:41:10 PM
Do you fawning farkers actually believe that story?
 
2012-04-28 04:43:41 PM

The WindowLicker: False.

The Marines who regularly do overseas support for presidential visits already have more restrictive rules than these new ones that the SS is just now having to follow.



I was actually trying to say something nice about the Marines...I like those (you?) guys, went through MWD Training with the Corp's Canine Corp. (Or, rather, they went through training with us.) We gave them a nice place to live, all the beer they could drink (good god, that is lot) and all the Air Force ladies they could stand. In return, they beat up the guys in Pararescue/Combat Controllers for us. (That's how the AF works, we like people to do our fighting for us!)

I mean the comment as a general statement, Marines get more action than the other services...I think it has to do with all the exercise...that and the dress uniform.
 
2012-04-28 04:51:23 PM
Arnold: Good Morning!
Cop: Good Morning!
Arnold: How are you?
Cop: Good!
Arnold: Now I'd like to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want them answered immediately! Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
Cop: What?
Arnold: I'm Detective John Kimble.
Cop: What?
Arnold: Who are you!
Arnold: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Cop: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car.
Arnold: STOP IT!

(Reference)
 
2012-04-28 04:53:38 PM
Damn it! Too much beer. Wrong thread
 
2012-04-28 05:11:05 PM
This is why we can't have nice whores.
 
2012-04-28 05:23:03 PM
Houses of ill repute?

I only go to the ones of highest repute!
 
2012-04-28 05:24:40 PM
Yup, well, that about does it.
Problem solved.

Move along, nothing to see here.
 
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