Amusing.

I am very jealous of people with pet ducks. I have a strange obsession with them.

We move into a place with a half acre in a couple of months, so I am carefully bringing up the topic with wafflette

Ducks can be our friends. But they can also be

*ominous music*

our enemies.

My roomate's gay retarded niece who used to be a nephew came up with similar headlines.

What duck?

1nsanilicious: My roomate's gay retarded niece who used to be a nephew came up with similar headlines.

Allergic to sausage, is s/he?

That's just re-duck-u-lous!

A guy walks into a bar...

Oh, you've heard that one?

You know what he can use to keep the duck from falling off?

I have no idea what you're talking about



So here's a man with a duck on his head

I need to find a meme generator with custom pics.

Eps05: I have no idea what you're talking about

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So here's a man with a duck on his head

I need to find a meme generator with custom pics.

I would be more impressed if you found a pic of a duck with a man on his head. . .

Millennium hand and shrimp.

/Buggeroff

Heyyyy....got any Grapes???

r1niceboy: What duck?

Came for this.

1nsanilicious: My roomate's gay retarded niece who used to be a nephew came up with similar headlines.

Then she's got at least as many greenlights as you.

So he's high on quack?

/wanna freebill?

What happened to the duck that flew upside down?

He quacked up!


/that one always quacks me up

Teknowaffle: I am very jealous of people with pet ducks. I have a strange obsession with them.

We move into a place with a half acre in a couple of months, so I am carefully bringing up the topic with wafflette

I have that same issue. If you can call it an issue I guess. Best of luck with getting your pet duck.

Teknowaffle: I am very jealous of people with pet ducks. I have a strange obsession with them.

We move into a place with a half acre in a couple of months, so I am carefully bringing up the topic with wafflette

Ducks are awesome, but keep in mind that they are just like chickens in that /everything/ tries to eat them. They'll need some pretty serious protection.
I literally had to shoot at some dogs that were trying to get into my chicken coop last night.

Walker: "Kiss me you fool!"
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Way to re-enforce British stereotypes.
Buy a toothbrush, buddy.

A smile duck makes a lousy umbrella.

Kibbler: Ducks can be our friends. But they can also be

*ominous music*

our enemies.

*happy music*

...or our dinners.

It's an abomination. A delicious abomination.

What d-

r1niceboy: What duck?

Damn it!

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him that, "no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes and if you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your little duck beak to the bar!''

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''

Confused, the bartender says "no"!

''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?"

Btw...

If someone throws something at this man, will he will yell "DUCK!" ?

True story...

Once I was eating duck soup at a Vietnamese restaurant. When I was done I asked for the "bill." This was funny only to me. The waiter's English was insufficient to get the joke.

danielscissorhands: Once I was eating duck soup at a Vietnamese restaurant. When I was done I asked for the "bill." This was funny only to me. The waiter's English was insufficient to get the joke.

How were you dressed?

LordOfThePings: danielscissorhands: Once I was eating duck soup at a Vietnamese restaurant. When I was done I asked for the "bill." This was funny only to me. The waiter's English was insufficient to get the joke.

How were you dressed?

Ah, yes. I believe that is the Marx Brother who wrote the Communist Manifesto

Also...

Duck season!

Ducks feathers are pretty water proof....

danielscissorhands: Also...

Duck season!

Garfunkel and Oates were waiting for this thread.
Sex With Ducks

I had a pet duck I got as a yellow feathered chick. I named him 'Whitey' hoping he would grow white feathers.
BEST GIFT EVER
My Dad asked me if I could take care of him (her?) and took me to the library. I got a couple of books and DEVOURED them that night.
Dad suggested we needed to build Whitey a pen big enough that he would be comfortable as a big adult duck.
Dad had trained as an architect before joining the Army then defecting to the USMC at the start of WWII - this was now 1955 or so - and he was eager to revive old talent.
By Christ we had the best Duck house in the USA. Roosting ledges, hose and valve to flush out the Duck poop, easy access to a fenced in grassy yard.
The good part? I BUILT IT ALL. Dad would occasionally ask me to re-measure something, or re-consider using the Crosscut saw instead of the Ripcut saw - but politely ignored my lousy nailing etc.
What fun we (I) had!
I learned more about hand tools in that week than most folks ever learn.
(PS - Whitey turned out to be a big old lazy Duck, and never learned to 'quack'. He 'peeped' as an adult!

Count_0: danielscissorhands: Also...

Duck season!

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