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(BBC)   Bullied children are more prone to self-harm, says new study from the Stop Hitting Yourself Institute   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 109
    More: Sad, self-harm, coping strategies  
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1451 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2012 at 6:06 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-28 12:33:40 AM  
Was this study done in conjunction with the "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" society?
 
2012-04-28 12:51:03 AM  
My sister was bullied not only by other kids but the classic "evil nun" at our Catholic elementary. She started cutting at a young age. She is doing well now and sees a therapist regularly, but it still breaks my heart to think back to what she endured.
 
2012-04-28 01:05:22 AM  
I don't wanna think
'Bout anybody else,
When I think about you,
I cut myself....
 
2012-04-28 01:11:37 AM  
I was a little guy until I sprouted up at 14. I considered that my payback year.
Bullied children are also tempted to retaliate, sometimes in ways you wouldn't expect.
/enjoy reunions to this day....
 
2012-04-28 01:55:20 AM  
 
2012-04-28 02:15:04 AM  

T. Dawg: My sister was bullied not only by other kids but the classic "evil nun" at our Catholic elementary. She started cutting at a young age. She is doing well now and sees a therapist regularly, but it still breaks my heart to think back to what she endured.


You can't really call yourself Catholic unless you've had to deal with the evil nun.

/mom went to Catholic school
 
2012-04-28 03:21:17 AM  
That's what they all say
 
2012-04-28 06:16:12 AM  
Bullied kids are depressed.
Depressed people are more prone to self harm.

They need experts to figure this crap out?
 
2012-04-28 06:17:36 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-28 06:20:33 AM  
Seriously?

What does it say about a species? Our weakest must be protected at all cost! Think about it.

There must be a logical offshoot here... like, as the weak band together, they make the whole stronger? For all of our intellect, we surely head in stupid directions. As the stupid do stupid things, we reward them with lawsuits (read money). As the dumb procreate, we give them free means of survival. Tolerate everything, unless it offends you... then it needs to be abolished.

Assholes are assholes and should be dealt with. Labeling everything as hate crimes and bullying is doing no one any favors.
 
2012-04-28 06:22:45 AM  

To those of you who are about to post something along the lines of "it's just a few years" or "it'll end when you leave school:"

Fark you.
 
2012-04-28 06:24:28 AM  

Uncle Tractor: To those of you who are about to post something along the lines of "it's just a few years" or "it'll end when you leave school:"

Fark you.


Not at all. It is about life and realizing that you have to have thicker skin. Grow up and realize that Eutopia aint around the corner! Do kids need to suffer? Nope. Do they need to realize that we aren't all going to get participation medals? Yep.
 
2012-04-28 06:25:25 AM  

T. Dawg: My sister was bullied not only by other kids but the classic "evil nun" at our Catholic elementary. She started cutting at a young age. She is doing well now and sees a therapist regularly, but it still breaks my heart to think back to what she endured.


What did your parents do during her "bullying" years?
 
2012-04-28 06:32:57 AM  
Would they rather Bullied Children inflict harm? ;)

img.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-04-28 06:36:32 AM  
Damn you Subby, I lol'd at that headline and then I felt bad.

/Of course that's Fark in a nutshell I suppose
 
2012-04-28 06:41:48 AM  

imprimere: Seriously?

What does it say about a species? Our weakest must be protected at all cost! Think about it.

There must be a logical offshoot here... like, as the weak band together, they make the whole stronger? For all of our intellect, we surely head in stupid directions. As the stupid do stupid things, we reward them with lawsuits (read money). As the dumb procreate, we give them free means of survival. Tolerate everything, unless it offends you... then it needs to be abolished.

Assholes are assholes and should be dealt with. Labeling everything as hate crimes and bullying is doing no one any favors.


society makes life safe for the stupid and weak. NTTAWWT
 
2012-04-28 06:43:34 AM  

Uncle Tractor: To those of you who are about to post something along the lines of "it's just a few years" or "it'll end when you leave school:"

Fark you.


So to the people who try to give you some hope that you may internally resolve your conflict and gain some peace in your life, you say fark you?

lighten up francis.
 
2012-04-28 06:45:01 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: You can't really call yourself Catholic unless you've had to deal with the evil nun.


My foster parents sent me to Catholic school. The evil nun in this case was actually an evil father, Father Flanagan. Being adopted from overseas, I am not circumcised, which really pissed of Father Flanagan. After everyone else had left the locker room, he'd make me stay after and skin myself back, believing that if I held it that way long enough and prayed hard enough, I would magically become circumcised. It didn't work, of course, and I typically ended up getting a boner, which pissed him off even more. He broke many a yard stick across it. I wish he were still alive so I could kill him.
 
2012-04-28 06:47:59 AM  
I bet Melllvar was always bulllied.
 
2012-04-28 06:52:30 AM  

dready zim: So to the people who try to give you some hope that you may internally resolve your conflict and gain some peace in your life, you say fark you?


Bullying is not an "internal conflict" and the damage it causes is often permanent. If you want to help somebody who's being bullied, stand up for them or at the least show a non-hostile face. Something as simple as a regular dose of sympathy can go a long way towards reducing the damage.
 
2012-04-28 06:52:47 AM  

imprimere: Seriously?

What does it say about a species? Our weakest must be protected at all cost! Think about it.

There must be a logical offshoot here... like, as the weak band together, they make the whole stronger? For all of our intellect, we surely head in stupid directions. As the stupid do stupid things, we reward them with lawsuits (read money). As the dumb procreate, we give them free means of survival. Tolerate everything, unless it offends you... then it needs to be abolished.

Assholes are assholes and should be dealt with. Labeling everything as hate crimes and bullying is doing no one any favors.


Your post seems to cancel itself out-- are you concerned that too many students who get in trouble for bullying is because of adults overreacting to simple roughousing... Or what?

We left the jungle and its laws behind a LONG time ago, and you would probably agree we are FAR better off for it.

I think it's a reasonable expectation for me to go about my daily business without being assaulted, robbed or terrorized by the same freaking person each day. I don't think it's unreasonable to want the same for our kids.
 
2012-04-28 06:53:26 AM  

imprimere: Not at all. It is about life and realizing that you have to have thicker skin. Grow up and realize that Eutopia aint around the corner!


You have no idea what you're talking about.
 
2012-04-28 06:59:04 AM  

Riche: imprimere: Seriously?

What does it say about a species? Our weakest must be protected at all cost! Think about it.

There must be a logical offshoot here... like, as the weak band together, they make the whole stronger? For all of our intellect, we surely head in stupid directions. As the stupid do stupid things, we reward them with lawsuits (read money). As the dumb procreate, we give them free means of survival. Tolerate everything, unless it offends you... then it needs to be abolished.

Assholes are assholes and should be dealt with. Labeling everything as hate crimes and bullying is doing no one any favors.

Your post seems to cancel itself out-- are you concerned that too many students who get in trouble for bullying is because of adults overreacting to simple roughousing... Or what?

We left the jungle and its laws behind a LONG time ago, and you would probably agree we are FAR better off for it.

I think it's a reasonable expectation for me to go about my daily business without being assaulted, robbed or terrorized by the same freaking person each day. I don't think it's unreasonable to want the same for our kids.


I guess that I wasn't being clear. You do have a reasonable expectation not to be assaulted. However, the current national campaign of stamping out all bullying is just a bit overblown. When kids take to Facebook or the Like (get it?) and bash someone, just because that someone represses and kills themselves, doesn't mean we need to charge a whole new class of felonies to simple 'bullies'. Moderation just isn't in the American vocabulary.
 
2012-04-28 06:59:26 AM  

spentmiles: ecmoRandomNumbers: You can't really call yourself Catholic unless you've had to deal with the evil nun.

My foster parents sent me to Catholic school. The evil nun in this case was actually an evil father, Father Flanagan. Being adopted from overseas, I am not circumcised, which really pissed of Father Flanagan. After everyone else had left the locker room, he'd make me stay after and skin myself back, believing that if I held it that way long enough and prayed hard enough, I would magically become circumcised. It didn't work, of course, and I typically ended up getting a boner, which pissed him off even more. He broke many a yard stick across it. I wish he were still alive so I could kill him.


i181.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-28 07:02:10 AM  

Uncle Tractor: imprimere: Not at all. It is about life and realizing that you have to have thicker skin. Grow up and realize that Eutopia aint around the corner!

You have no idea what you're talking about.


Oh, but I'm sure that you do! If I tell you to kill yourself and you do, will I be labeled as a bully? Let's try... kill yourself.

/have had my ass full on kicked for defending a mentally-challenged kid
//would do it again
///still don't buy the overreaction
 
2012-04-28 07:02:13 AM  
i15.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-28 07:06:47 AM  
Hang on. Where do they establish that it's not the other way around? Maybe children who self-harm are more likely to become goths, and goths are more likely to be bullied.
 
2012-04-28 07:08:12 AM  

imprimere: Riche: imprimere: Seriously?

What does it say about a species? Our weakest must be protected at all cost! Think about it.

There must be a logical offshoot here... like, as the weak band together, they make the whole stronger? For all of our intellect, we surely head in stupid directions. As the stupid do stupid things, we reward them with lawsuits (read money). As the dumb procreate, we give them free means of survival. Tolerate everything, unless it offends you... then it needs to be abolished.

Assholes are assholes and should be dealt with. Labeling everything as hate crimes and bullying is doing no one any favors.

Your post seems to cancel itself out-- are you concerned that too many students who get in trouble for bullying is because of adults overreacting to simple roughousing... Or what?

We left the jungle and its laws behind a LONG time ago, and you would probably agree we are FAR better off for it.

I think it's a reasonable expectation for me to go about my daily business without being assaulted, robbed or terrorized by the same freaking person each day. I don't think it's unreasonable to want the same for our kids.

I guess that I wasn't being clear. You do have a reasonable expectation not to be assaulted. However, the current national campaign of stamping out all bullying is just a bit overblown. When kids take to Facebook or the Like (get it?) and bash someone, just because that someone represses and kills themselves, doesn't mean we need to charge a whole new class of felonies to simple 'bullies'. Moderation just isn't in the American vocabulary.


Making threats to and verbally harassing someone are also crimes and have been for some time, or don't those count? Inciting violence (suicide is violence) is also a crime most places. Or, again, does that not count? The only reason anyone tolerates bullying of children is because our society refuses to see children as human beings and give them equal protection under the law. Hell, kids don't even have most of their constitutional rights given to them until they turn 18 (and sometimes not even then, if they haven't graduated yet).

/And people wonder why so many kids grow up to be so farked in the head as adults.
 
2012-04-28 07:09:50 AM  

imprimere:

I guess that I wasn't being clear. You do have a reasonable expectation not to be assaulted. However, the current national campaign of stamping out all bullying is just a bit overblown. When kids take to Facebook or the Like (get it?) and bash someone, just because that someone represses and kills themselves, doesn't mean we need to charge a whole new class of felonies to simple 'bullies'. Moderation just isn't in the American vocabulary.


Harassment on social media is a new and very tricky territory. Yeah, there is and will be some overreaction in that area. You should also understand how directly that stuff can effect a student's "meatspace" social life.
 
2012-04-28 07:24:36 AM  
I was bullied and now feel more prone to self-harm, so I'm getting a kick.
 
2012-04-28 07:31:09 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

Self ham?
 
2012-04-28 07:37:12 AM  
The consequences of bullying last a lifetime.

Unless it can be stopped the only answer is for the bullied person to strike back and beat their tormentor. This is not just to stop the bully but to restore self esteem and self worth to the bullied person. Both in the eyes of the community and more importantly in their own eyes.

When I was a kid I was bullied. If it happened today I likely would have become a school shooter, but back then those kinds of reactions just were not thought of. Bullying needs to be stopped before it gets to that level of retaliatory thinking. The effects of that bullying haunt me to this day. Do not let this happen to your kids.

Teach your kids to fight, send them to classes for it if you do not know how yourself, but also be alert for misuse of those skills. Kids need to be taught how to defend themselves, but also need to be taught that starting fights and intimidating others is wrong. That is where bullies come from, and their parents failures to be parents.
 
2012-04-28 07:37:39 AM  
I feel so bad for laughing at this headline...
 
2012-04-28 07:45:45 AM  
bullied kids should each receive one hand grenade. make it count, kids.
 
2012-04-28 08:06:47 AM  

tomWright: The consequences of bullying last a lifetime.

Unless it can be stopped the only answer is for the bullied person to strike back and beat their tormentor. This is not just to stop the bully but to restore self esteem and self worth to the bullied person. Both in the eyes of the community and more importantly in their own eyes.

When I was a kid I was bullied. If it happened today I likely would have become a school shooter, but back then those kinds of reactions just were not thought of. Bullying needs to be stopped before it gets to that level of retaliatory thinking. The effects of that bullying haunt me to this day. Do not let this happen to your kids.

Teach your kids to fight, send them to classes for it if you do not know how yourself, but also be alert for misuse of those skills. Kids need to be taught how to defend themselves, but also need to be taught that starting fights and intimidating others is wrong. That is where bullies come from, and their parents failures to be parents.


I was bullied too. I hate all this self-congratulatory shiate about "no-tolerance anti-bullying policies" at schools. When I was bullied I said nothing because reporting the abuse would have resulted in retaliation against me. I did tell the school counselor once and she said the thing my parents always said: "What did you do to make them do that to you?" FARK THEM.

Now I have kids of my own. I became a recess monitor so I could get a look at what was going on there. I didn't like what I saw so I took them out of there. I am convinced that adults either are: 1) Spread too thin and can't provide proper supervision and/or 2) Too lazy to take action (it does take energy to take action) and/or 3) Don't give a fark.

I can tell you I would personally beat the a$$ of any child that did anything to my child which was anything close to what was done to me. Funny thing though: A few years ago a stupid kid pushed my daughter down and her big brother got in the kid's face and scared him off. "Don't you EVER mess with my sister!" Just having someone stand up for them helps the bullied child so much.
 
2012-04-28 08:12:05 AM  
I feel obligated to point out that these stats (which are murky, at best), come from the UK, which has a reputation for producing rationalizations for "social programmes" at the drop of a hat. OK, just give the playground supervisors tasers, and license to zap anyone they see bullying.

/Yep, that'll do it.
 
2012-04-28 08:16:22 AM  

Uncle Tractor: imprimere: Not at all. It is about life and realizing that you have to have thicker skin. Grow up and realize that Eutopia aint around the corner!

You have no idea what you're talking about.


And we have a twofer! Welcome to Fark!
 
2012-04-28 08:17:51 AM  

Riche: spentmiles: ecmoRandomNumbers: You can't really call yourself Catholic unless you've had to deal with the evil nun.

My foster parents sent me to Catholic school. The evil nun in this case was actually an evil father, Father Flanagan. Being adopted from overseas, I am not circumcised, which really pissed of Father Flanagan. After everyone else had left the locker room, he'd make me stay after and skin myself back, believing that if I held it that way long enough and prayed hard enough, I would magically become circumcised. It didn't work, of course, and I typically ended up getting a boner, which pissed him off even more. He broke many a yard stick across it. I wish he were still alive so I could kill him.

[i181.photobucket.com image 240x180]


You, Riche, are my hero.......
 
2012-04-28 08:24:38 AM  

imprimere: Seriously?

What does it say about a species? Our weakest must be protected at all cost! Think about it.

There must be a logical offshoot here... like, as the weak band together, they make the whole stronger? For all of our intellect, we surely head in stupid directions. As the stupid do stupid things, we reward them with lawsuits (read money). As the dumb procreate, we give them free means of survival. Tolerate everything, unless it offends you... then it needs to be abolished.

Assholes are assholes and should be dealt with. Labeling everything as hate crimes and bullying is doing no one any favors.


.

I agree, we should encourage self-abuse, it's the only way. Sure, they may have a sticky situation and mess on thier hands, but I'm not going to let them suck me dry for free any more.

No, sir! I say they can kiss me between my two sweet cheeks, on my wet lips, in thanks for me blowing my wad of cash all over them!
 
2012-04-28 08:26:05 AM  

imprimere: Not at all. It is about life and realizing that you have to have thicker skin. Grow up and realize that Eutopia aint around the corner! Do kids need to suffer? Nope. Do they need to realize that we aren't all going to get participation medals? Yep.


When bullies steal from people and physically hurt them is that about developing a thicker skin too? Get used to being robbed on a daily basis, it's normal!

Also... bullies shouldn't be rewarded for their behavior. Letting them steal from people then telling the other person to get a thicker skin is rewarding/encouraging them. That's bad, mmmm-kay.
 
2012-04-28 08:29:04 AM  
on the overall the childhood experience is a miserable one. there is myriad illnesses one encounters, the frustration of not being allowed freedoms (even though it may be in the childs best interests), the challenges of tackling new subject matter in school - it goes on and on.
the icing on the cake is becoming an adult and finding that sucks even worse. to live is to suffer misery in varying degrees until we breathe our last. all the while there is Dennis the Menace style swirling confusion marks floating above our heads as we try to figure out what it all is for.

"..and your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick"
 
2012-04-28 08:30:38 AM  

tomWright: The consequences of bullying last a lifetime.

Unless it can be stopped the only answer is for the bullied person to strike back and beat their tormentor. This is not just to stop the bully but to restore self esteem and self worth to the bullied person. Both in the eyes of the community and more importantly in their own eyes.

When I was a kid I was bullied. If it happened today I likely would have become a school shooter, but back then those kinds of reactions just were not thought of. Bullying needs to be stopped before it gets to that level of retaliatory thinking. The effects of that bullying haunt me to this day. Do not let this happen to your kids.

Teach your kids to fight, send them to classes for it if you do not know how yourself, but also be alert for misuse of those skills. Kids need to be taught how to defend themselves, but also need to be taught that starting fights and intimidating others is wrong. That is where bullies come from, and their parents failures to be parents.


I will address your comments in order:

1. Yes, they do; I had experiences with bullies throughout my schooling. However, all experience is a part of what I am, and I don't think that's such a bad thing, at least in my case. If I could go back and erase the bullying and accept that I would be a different person because of it, would I? I'd have to say- nope.

2. I did that once, in the earliest incident of bullying I can remember....probably 5th or 6th grade. Punched that little sucker right in the chops (at the instigation of his younger brother). I never resorted to violence against bullies again, though. Why? Maybe that "last refuge of the incompetent" stuff, and I didn't want to join the incompetent.

3. I appreciate your comments about the then and the now of bullying. I never thought of precipitating some random violence then, but if I were 10 years old now, who knows? My youngest kid was bullied in high school, and he ended up punching his tormentor pretty much through a hedge outside the school. He was given two days suspension for it. I heard the story, my only comment was something like "Oh, and you got suspended, huh? Way to go." He never got messed with again.

4. This may be a wise course, or not. The only thing that comes to mind here is "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." - Friederich Nietzsche
 
2012-04-28 08:37:24 AM  

zekebullseye: Teach your kids to fight, send them to classes for it if you do not know how yourself.


I'd love to see you in prison thinking that being able to fight works against the bullies.

Guess what...? If some big guy with friends decides you're his biatch then you're his biatch. Ain't nothing you can do about it.

/Prison is basically just like school all over again...but with larger people and no home time.
//The happiest days of your life - if you're a bully
 
2012-04-28 08:44:09 AM  
My son is a nerd. He's in the math/science club. Chess club. Plays tuba in band.

He's also an athlete. He runs cross country, track and is a defender in soccer. He's 13 and 5'11.
He stands up to bullies for his nerd friends.

I was bullied. My older kids were bullied. This kid is new territory for me.
 
2012-04-28 08:49:45 AM  

Kurmudgeon: I was a little guy until I sprouted up at 14. I considered that my payback year.
Bullied children are also tempted to retaliate, sometimes in ways you wouldn't expect.
/enjoy reunions to this day....


Yeah, that's the path that I took. It occurredc to me one day that the asshole jocks who tormented me (everything from noogies to a broken arm) only did so in groups. My baseball bat and I became quite adept at quietly finding them when they were alone.

There is no worse bully than someone who has been bullied.

 
2012-04-28 09:15:34 AM  

tomWright: The consequences of bullying last a lifetime.

Unless it can be stopped the only answer is for the bullied person to strike back and beat their tormentor.


Agree totally. The old logic of 'Just walk away and find an adult' may work in a perfect world, but we don't live in a perfect world.
 
2012-04-28 09:18:29 AM  

spentmiles: ecmoRandomNumbers: You can't really call yourself Catholic unless you've had to deal with the evil nun.

My foster parents sent me to Catholic school. The evil nun in this case was actually an evil father, Father Flanagan. Being adopted from overseas, I am not circumcised, which really pissed of Father Flanagan. After everyone else had left the locker room, he'd make me stay after and skin myself back, believing that if I held it that way long enough and prayed hard enough, I would magically become circumcised. It didn't work, of course, and I typically ended up getting a boner, which pissed him off even more. He broke many a yard stick across it. I wish he were still alive so I could kill him.


Cool story, bro.
 
2012-04-28 09:26:42 AM  

Trance750:
Unless it can be stopped the only answer is for the bullied person to strike back and beat their tormentor.

Agree totally.


I heard this all my life ... but when he's physically twice your size and has a couple of sidekicks what are you gonna do? Start waiting near his house with a baseball bat?
 
2012-04-28 09:36:31 AM  
On the positive side, they are likely to advance in position to become a dreaded Rear Admiral
 
2012-04-28 09:38:49 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: T. Dawg: My sister was bullied not only by other kids but the classic "evil nun" at our Catholic elementary. She started cutting at a young age. She is doing well now and sees a therapist regularly, but it still breaks my heart to think back to what she endured.

You can't really call yourself Catholic unless you've had to deal with the evil nun.

/mom went to Catholic school


So did my mother. That and spending time in San Francisco in '69 both factored in her leaving the church. She put me in public school but got me in the gifted program. I was bullied by some of the other kids because I'm short, hard of hearing, was into different things than the other kids, and introverted but I liked a couple of my teachers a lot and don't remember any but my 6th grade English teacher as being bad. Thanks, Mom.

/Yes, Mom is awesome
//Neither of us ever self-harmed
 
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