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(Daily Mail)   "It was horrific - she came around to say sorry and ended up trying to bite my penis off"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 112
    More: Scary, Vincent Rennoldson  
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16263 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2012 at 10:37 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



112 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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dopeydwarf [TotalFark]
2012-04-25 11:59:58 PM
'It has affected me - I was watching Jaws the other night but had to turn over,' he said.

Lawlz.
 
farkingismybusiness
2012-04-26 12:11:09 AM
Dun dun....... Dun dun........ Dun dun ...... dun dun dun dun dun dun dun na naaaaaa!
 
DammitIForgotMyLogin [TotalFark]
2012-04-26 12:57:23 AM
Sometimes that psycho-ex looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a hosebeast is she's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When she comes at ya, she doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' theycome in and... they rip you to pieces.
 
miss diminutive
2012-04-26 05:17:59 AM
She claimed she caused some of the injuries to Mr Rennoldson in self-defence, while trying to fight her way out of the flat.

Well this makes sense. Everyone knows the quickest way out of a flat is always through penis biting.
 
AbbeySomeone
2012-04-26 05:47:24 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk


What the scene of a penis biting might look like.

/more coffee
 
fat boy
2012-04-26 10:14:51 AM
Was he in a Buick?
 
gopher321 [TotalFark]
2012-04-26 10:24:23 AM
miss diminutive: She claimed she caused some of the injuries to Mr Rennoldson in self-defence, while trying to fight her way out of the flat.

Well this makes sense. Everyone knows the quickest way out of a flat is always through penis biting.

Sure as hell the quickest way out of my flat.
 
Claude Ballse
2012-04-26 10:41:10 AM
While he was on the phone, the mother-of-one - who had consumed an entire bottle of wine - pulled down his boxer shorts, grabbed his penis, tried to tear it off - and then bit it.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here...

images.mirror.co.uk
 
The more you eat the more you fart
2012-04-26 10:41:55 AM
Ive seen enough articles like this to already know better...so I dunno why everyone doesn't know "the rule" by now: You NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER let your ex suck your dick...no matter what.
 
Jake Havechek
2012-04-26 10:41:57 AM
Psycho hosebeast.
 
CheekyMonkey
2012-04-26 10:42:34 AM
Claude Ballse: While he was on the phone, the mother-of-one - who had consumed an entire bottle of wine - pulled down his boxer shorts, grabbed his penis, tried to tear it off - and then bit it.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here...

[images.mirror.co.uk image 460x363]

At first I thought that said "Breakfast Wine".
 
AgentBang
2012-04-26 10:42:58 AM
Not a fun story, but AgentBang has his doubts as to exactly how this happened...

While he was on the phone, the mother-of-one - who had consumed an entire bottle of wine - pulled down his boxer shorts, grabbed his penis, tried to tear it off - and then bit it.

Translation...I thought I could get one more farewell beejay from a drunk, crazy ex but she fooled me and was trying to yank my wankie off.

Bad move for you, pal. Don't try to take advantage of drunk-crazy.
 
PrivateCaboose [TotalFark]
2012-04-26 10:43:02 AM
Isn't that how all breakups work? I've definitely bitten a few penises in my time...
 
wrenchboy
2012-04-26 10:43:14 AM
dude is kinda old for neck tats and body mods
 
Sgt Oddball
2012-04-26 10:43:23 AM
He should try those Mithril condoms.
 
Mildot
2012-04-26 10:43:58 AM
The one time when she doesn't swallow and it is considered a good thing.
 
Mr.Hawk
2012-04-26 10:44:09 AM
Nothing says classy better than neck and knuckle tattoo's!
 
Freakin Rican
2012-04-26 10:45:20 AM
dopeydwarf: 'It has affected me - I was watching Jaws the other night but had to turn over,' he said.

Lawlz.

HAHAHAHA!! i came to say the samething


what a pussy
 
trappedspirit [TotalFark]
2012-04-26 10:46:41 AM
Usually crazy isn't too far behind neck tattoos. Eventually the police will be involved in all neck tattoo cases. One way or the other, sooner or later.
 
kvinesknows [TotalFark]
2012-04-26 10:46:44 AM
fat boy: Was he in a Buick?

hehehehehe
 
SDRR
2012-04-26 10:46:50 AM
fat boy: Was he in a Buick?

www.movieactors.com
 
RidgeRacerZX6
2012-04-26 10:47:09 AM
The more you eat the more you fart: Ive seen enough articles like this to already know better...so I dunno why everyone doesn't know "the rule" by now: You NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER let your ex suck your dick...no matter what.

THIS

In fact I would expand that to any kind of 'Goodbye' sex at all.

/learned the hard way...
 
EdNortonsTwin
2012-04-26 10:47:12 AM

At first I thought that said "Breakfast Wine".

It dusn't??? (((hic-up)))
 
The more you eat the more you fart
2012-04-26 10:47:28 AM
Also, why isnt everyone here screaming for her to do some SERIOUS jail time?!

If the genders were reversed, and it was a man that mutilated some woman's genitals, then we would be reading a COMPLETELY different version of the story.

Mutilate a woman's genitalia or try to bite her nipples off in a rage? BURN HIM! BURN HIM! NO PUNISHMENT IS SEVERE ENOUGH!!!

Do that to a man? Meh...she's nuts but whatever.

/gender bias FTW!
 
Mildot
2012-04-26 10:47:28 AM
PrivateCaboose: Isn't that how all breakups work? I've definitely bitten a few penises in my time...

That's why with you i would only have butt sex
 
Jake Havechek
2012-04-26 10:47:38 AM
He couldn't Bismarck her because his dick was in her mouth.
 
BurnShrike
2012-04-26 10:48:25 AM
Don't stick your dick in crazy. That goes for either end of her body.
 
abfalter
2012-04-26 10:49:49 AM
I like how every picture that you can see his hands he is unconsciously covering up his groin.
 
Private_Citizen
2012-04-26 10:50:01 AM
I read the article and, DAMN!!! That lady just to crazy to the next level.

And for those who didn't RTFA, she attacked him with her fists when he tried to kick her out, so he called 999, That's when she dropped to her knees, jerked down his shorts and tried to yank his johnson off before trying to bite it off. They played his blood curdling screams from the 999 call during the trial.
 
The more you eat the more you fart
2012-04-26 10:50:43 AM
PrivateCaboose: Isn't that how all breakups work? I've definitely bitten a few penises in my time...

Are you my ex wife?
 
BurnShrike
2012-04-26 10:50:47 AM
'I have now got a scar on it - I will show anybody. She tried to bite my penis off.'

That sounds like he's just coming up with an excuse to show anyone his junk.

But it might make a good pickup line.

"Wanna come back to my place and see my scar?"
 
Prevailing Wind
2012-04-26 10:51:38 AM
"I now have a threenine-inch scar on the bottom of my willy. "


FTFY

Come on guy! This was a prime opportunity to turn a lemon into lemonade.
 
The more you eat the more you fart
2012-04-26 10:52:26 AM
abfalter: I like how every picture that you can see his hands he is unconsciously covering up his groin.

You WOULDNT?
 
wambu [TotalFark]
2012-04-26 10:52:33 AM
Vagina dentata.

/always beware
 
BurnShrike
2012-04-26 10:53:13 AM
She claimed she caused some of the injuries to Mr Rennoldson in self-defence, while trying to fight her way out of the flat.

Using teeth is the only way my penis would be flat if it were in your mouth.
 
vudukungfu
2012-04-26 10:53:40 AM
in before epic thread was epic.
/makes me a hipster, right?
 
trappedspirit [TotalFark]
2012-04-26 10:54:26 AM
More like whore-rific. amirite?
 
Nightsweat
2012-04-26 10:57:55 AM
And now he sees this woman in his nightmares...

golivewire.com
 
FormlessOne
2012-04-26 10:58:29 AM
Nice to see that UK courts aren't as subject to the gender bias that occurs regularly in US courts.
 
Loaf's Tray
2012-04-26 10:59:06 AM
The more you eat the more you fart: Also, why isnt everyone here screaming for her to do some SERIOUS jail time?!

If the genders were reversed, and it was a man that mutilated some woman's genitals, then we would be reading a COMPLETELY different version of the story.

Mutilate a woman's genitalia or try to bite her nipples off in a rage? BURN HIM! BURN HIM! NO PUNISHMENT IS SEVERE ENOUGH!!!

Do that to a man? Meh...she's nuts but whatever.

/gender bias FTW!

...so they couldn't re-attach it, huh?
 
Freakin Rican
2012-04-26 10:59:24 AM
Nightsweat: And now he sees this woman in his nightmares...

[golivewire.com image 326x480]

hehe. that reminds me of homeschooled girl for some reason. i guess all the teeth
 
Strik3r
2012-04-26 11:01:22 AM
While he was on the phone, the mother-of-one - who had consumed an entire bottle of wine - pulled down his boxer shorts, grabbed his penis, tried to tear it off - and then bit it.

Scroll down for video


How about no..........

/this is not the video you are looking for
 
Loaf's Tray
2012-04-26 11:01:30 AM
Sounds like this guy...[sunglasses] couldn't handle the tooth...
 
MaliFinn [TotalFark]
2012-04-26 11:01:53 AM
img827.imageshack.us
 
Kraut10
2012-04-26 11:03:25 AM
Hope this works, first time trying to post an image. Can someone remove it if nothing shows up?
 
Mildot
2012-04-26 11:04:09 AM
Ouch!!! NSFW
 
Kraut10
2012-04-26 11:04:24 AM
I failed! Please remove this and previous post so I don't look like a total douche!
 
BeerBear
2012-04-26 11:04:54 AM
Nightsweat: And now he sees this woman in his nightmares...

[golivewire.com image 326x480]



ack!
 
StaceyNC
2012-04-26 11:06:14 AM
www.wearysloth.com

unimpressed
 
Kraut10
2012-04-26 11:06:25 AM
Warning! Insertion of penis into the crazy may cause bodily harm!
 
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