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(Daily Mail)   Worst. Boyfriend. EVER. (w/pics)   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 210
    More: Dumbass, debacles  
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51931 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2012 at 4:12 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-26 08:52:40 AM  

Shadowknight: vodka: Did they make out and dry hump afterwards?

[i.imgur.com image 400x260]

What movie is that from?

A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon

 
2012-04-26 09:08:48 AM  

dopeydwarf: Well he won't be getting laid for quite a while.


Wrong. I bet she torn off his pants as soon as her friend left.
 
2012-04-26 09:13:54 AM  
At least he didn't steal her self esteem.
 
2012-04-26 09:14:22 AM  

Raymo853: dopeydwarf: Well he won't be getting laid for quite a while.

Wrong. I bet she torn off his pants as soon as her friend left.


.

And then what happened?
 
2012-04-26 09:21:22 AM  

1nsanilicious: Raymo853: dopeydwarf: Well he won't be getting laid for quite a while.

Wrong. I bet she torn off his pants as soon as her friend left.

.

And then what happened?


Genital warts.
 
2012-04-26 09:25:43 AM  
HAHA!!! PRANKED!

30.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-26 09:26:08 AM  
Really when you are really scared you put your fingers through your hair then fluff it?
 
2012-04-26 09:32:26 AM  
Me and my friend did this to my brother. When we were 12... We got masks and painted our fake guns all black then pretended to rob my house and made him run down the street. Hilarious!
 
2012-04-26 09:37:05 AM  
Actually, I'm the worst boyfriend ever.

/don't tell my wife
 
2012-04-26 09:37:06 AM  

KimNorth: Really when you are really scared you put your fingers through your hair then fluff it?


Yes.Tugging hair, "playing" with is, is often a stress response.
 
2012-04-26 09:37:13 AM  
Also, subby loses 5 l33tness points for misspelling 'EVAR'.
 
2012-04-26 09:37:58 AM  
supplies!!
 
2012-04-26 09:38:05 AM  

simsite9: I thought the headline with the article said he was "clad in baklava."

What a rip.


Same here,I was think thats kinda kinky and sticky.
 
2012-04-26 09:39:51 AM  
Haven't read TFT yet... but no. No. That is not the worst boyfriend ever. Not by a long shot.
 
2012-04-26 09:45:05 AM  

1nsanilicious: I had my girlfriend walk in unexpectedly while I was asleep. I didn't notice until she was 5ft away from me and was very lucky that I checked my initial instinct to beat the stranger infront of and even more lucky I didn't reach for the gun.

Recognition occured 3 seconds after waking up and when someone is that close you gotta think fast.

She's especially lucky because we live in Texas, and I warned again that I carry and not to sneak up on me, but to announce she is there for her own safety.


How romantic!
 
2012-04-26 09:46:12 AM  
If I did this to my GF she'd shoot me with one of the guns I bought her.
 
2012-04-26 09:46:32 AM  
Amateurs.

Next time leave a bag of Roy Rogers on the kitchen table then hide in the closet .

When she comes home, jump out of the closet while playing "Careless Whisper" on a Saxophone with no shirt on.

You'll get more ass than a toilet seat that night.
 
2012-04-26 09:46:34 AM  

dopeydwarf: Well he won't be getting laid for quite a while.


On the plus side: He might get dumped by the skinny shrieking one and get off with the girl who was laughing. She seems like a better catch.
 
2012-04-26 09:48:42 AM  

KidneyStone: If I did this to my GF she'd shoot me with one of the guns I bought her.


Anybody ever tell you you got a Christ complex?

/or a David Spade complex
 
2012-04-26 09:53:34 AM  
Genevieve Marie Smartest
Funniest
2012-04-26 04:22:02 AM


Holy crap.

That's... unforgivable. Making your partner fear for their life as a joke?

Wow.




That's okay. There's knock knock jokes and Ellen for people like you.
 
2012-04-26 10:01:40 AM  

thamike: ryant123: 1nsanilicious: I had my girlfriend walk in unexpectedly while I was asleep. I didn't notice until she was 5ft away from me and was very lucky that I checked my initial instinct to beat the stranger infront of and even more lucky I didn't reach for the gun.

Recognition occured 3 seconds after waking up and when someone is that close you gotta think fast.

She's especially lucky because we live in Texas, and I warned again that I carry and not to sneak up on me, but to announce she is there for her own safety.

Are you being serious? "I almost shot my girlfriend because she startled me while I was sleeping." Jesus Christ. You know what my thought process would be in that situation? "That's probably just my girlfriend... Yup. "

Yeah, but you don't live in a harem full of immoral Nazi man-snakes with tentacles after you've been drinking.


The tentacles don't bother me as much as the pop rock like sound they make.
 
2012-04-26 10:09:22 AM  

what_now: I once snuck up behind my ex boyfriend on a public street in an attempt to "surprise" him. Not the best thing to do to a guy with crippling PTSD who's been trained to kill. I came inches from getting punched in the face, and he spent the night shaking.

Honestly wasn't thinking.



A friend of mine lived in the same neighborhood as his GF, and spotted her a little in front him him as they were both walking back separately from the metro one night. He ran up behind her, and wasn't trying to terrify her or anything, just to run up behind her and go "BOO!" and spook her a little. Except.... he forgot to take into account that she used to be a soldier in the IDF.

When he put his hand on her shoulder instinct took over for her and she grabbed his arm, stepped back, leaned forward and deftly tossed him over her shoulder and on to the ground in front of her and then kicked him in the side of the head before realizing who he was. He said he was never worried about her walking home alone late at night from the metro anymore.
 
2012-04-26 10:10:16 AM  
 
2012-04-26 10:13:20 AM  
I'd always figured the worst boyfriend would be one that thought physical abuse was okay. I guess that must not be so bad.
 
2012-04-26 10:14:32 AM  

doubled99: Genevieve Marie Smartest
Funniest
2012-04-26 04:22:02 AM


Holy crap.

That's... unforgivable. Making your partner fear for their life as a joke?

Wow.



That's okay. There's knock knock jokes and Ellen for people like you.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak. Now you say, "control freak who?"
 
2012-04-26 10:17:23 AM  

1nsanilicious: I had my girlfriend walk in unexpectedly while I was asleep. I didn't notice until she was 5ft away from me and was very lucky that I checked my initial instinct to beat the stranger infront of and even more lucky I didn't reach for the gun.

Recognition occured 3 seconds after waking up and when someone is that close you gotta think fast.

She's especially lucky because we live in Texas, and I warned again that I carry and not to sneak up on me, but to announce she is there for her own safety.


You are an insecure imbecile.
 
2012-04-26 10:23:21 AM  

doubled99: Genevieve Marie Smartest
Funniest
2012-04-26 04:22:02 AM
Holy crap.
That's... unforgivable. Making your partner fear for their life as a joke?
Wow.
That's okay. There's knock knock jokes and Ellen for people like you.


I have PTSD. Someone tried something like that with me, I'd try to kill them. Then I'd go take a bunch of tranquilizers and watch Ellen and laugh. Have a nice time in the hospital.
 
2012-04-26 10:28:01 AM  
So shes single now, right?
 
2012-04-26 10:29:03 AM  

cryinoutloud: doubled99: Genevieve Marie Smartest
Funniest
2012-04-26 04:22:02 AM
Holy crap.
That's... unforgivable. Making your partner fear for their life as a joke?
Wow.
That's okay. There's knock knock jokes and Ellen for people like you.

I have PTSD. Someone tried something like that with me, I'd try to kill them. Then I'd go take a bunch of tranquilizers and watch Ellen and laugh. Have a nice time in the hospital.



Some people never really grew up all the way and have a hard time empathizing with others, so they have a hard time distinguishing between pulling a joke and being a dick.
 
2012-04-26 10:29:52 AM  

sycraft: Also an exceedingly stupid move. The reaction people have to being scared like that is commonly called "fight or flight". That first part of that phrase is the operative one. Sometimes, people will decide to fight. The greater the perceived threat, the harder they fight. He's lucky you didn't kick him in the nuts, bash him over the head with a toilet lid and so on. Your mind went in to flight mode lucky for him and unlucky for you (and your wall it sounds like). However that isn't always what happens.

Pranks are only funny when they aren't harmful, and scaring someone shiatless is harmful, not only to them but maybe to you too if you aren't careful.


Not to mention that acclimating someone to this sort of bullshiat is incredibly irresponsible. Do you really want someone you love's Weeners to danger to become "I wonder if this is my boyfriend playing a prank?"
 
2012-04-26 10:36:07 AM  

Submitted First With a Better Headline: Do you really want someone you love's Weeners to danger to become "I wonder if this is my boyfriend playing a prank?"


Not sure.
 
2012-04-26 10:36:21 AM  
God dammit, filter.
 
2012-04-26 10:37:19 AM  
This story would have been more interesting if the guy had been clad in baklava, which is how I read the headline at first.
 
2012-04-26 10:45:27 AM  
I'd rather someone prank me like this, than give me a fake lottery ticket.

My mom tried to give my dad a $20,000 one once when he was out of work. While he was looking at it I said quite loudly, "It's fake." It really pissed me off that she would do that to him.
 
2012-04-26 10:51:53 AM  

CapeFearCadaver: Haven't read TFT yet... but no. No. That is not the worst boyfriend ever. Not by a long shot.


Agreed. He's just what the tag says: 'DUMBASS".
 
2012-04-26 10:52:38 AM  
Worst ever? Man, I guess no one beats or kills his girlfriend any more, or subjects her to chronic psychological abuse, or gives her a social disease contracted from a whore.

All it takes now is to be a colossal dumbass?
 
2012-04-26 10:56:53 AM  

wrenchboy: Plant Rights Activist: meh. She probably enjoyed it. Women hate guys who care about anything other than themselves and love to be abused.

This

/nice guys would never do this


So... how long has it been since you two were laid?

/there's a difference between Nice and Good.
 
2012-04-26 11:02:08 AM  

1nsanilicious: I had my girlfriend walk in unexpectedly while I was asleep. I didn't notice until she was 5ft away from me and was very lucky that I checked my initial instinct to beat the stranger infront of and even more lucky I didn't reach for the gun.

Recognition occured 3 seconds after waking up and when someone is that close you gotta think fast.

She's especially lucky because we live in Texas, and I warned again that I carry and not to sneak up on me, but to announce she is there for her own safety.


IS this what people really think?

I would rather die then to live in fear like this, and yes it is a type of fear to be so paranoid that you are thinking about blowing away people.

Get a better job, live in a better neighborhood for cripes sake.
 
2012-04-26 11:05:52 AM  

CapeFearCadaver: wrenchboy: Plant Rights Activist: meh. She probably enjoyed it. Women hate guys who care about anything other than themselves and love to be abused.

This

/nice guys would never do this

So... how long has it been since you two were laid?

/there's a difference between Nice and Good.


The more you try to be nice, the less you get, period. Most guys dont understand this.

And no this doesnt mean that you hit a woman, it means that you develop a life that makes you happy, and you can take her or leave her, you get to be yourself and you will have more action then you can handle.
 
2012-04-26 11:06:37 AM  
The girl takes a swing at her boyfriend after he reveals the robbery was a prank

Haters gonna hate.
 
2012-04-26 11:06:44 AM  

alowishus: I'd rather someone prank me like this, than give me a fake lottery ticket.

My mom tried to give my dad a $20,000 one once when he was out of work. While he was looking at it I said quite loudly, "It's fake." It really pissed me off that she would do that to him.



Damn, yeah, that's pretty goddamn mean too in a different way. If he wasn't out of a job, then fine, ha ha ha... But when he's out of a job he's already going to be feeling like he can't take care of his family, and a stunt like that is just a cruel way to get his hopes up and then crush his self esteem even harder. I'm sure your mom didn't mean it like that, but it's still a pretty callous thing to do even if you don't mean it.
 
2012-04-26 11:08:44 AM  

guyinjeep16: Get a better job, live in a better neighborhood for cripes sake.


What's funny is most of the people I know with this mentality are fat white rednecks who live out in the sticks were almost NOTHING ever happens, so they really have nothing to be scared of. They're mostly just insecure morons with tiny penises who've watched too many stupid action movies.
 
2012-04-26 11:12:09 AM  

offmymeds: CapeFearCadaver: Haven't read TFT yet... but no. No. That is not the worst boyfriend ever. Not by a long shot.

Agreed. He's just what the tag says: 'DUMBASS".


Yep.

/I'd probably have punched him in the face and kicked him in the nuts. Then dump his immature ass.
 
2012-04-26 11:14:09 AM  
Setting aside the consideration that the video may be fake, this would be a dealbreaker for me if the relationship was relatively new and I did not have a ton of emotional investment, and even if I did there is a good chance the relationship wouldn't last. I fall into deep concentration, an almost trance-like state very easily and as a result I startle easily. There have been people who thought it would be funny to take advantage of this and learned that was not cool when I got in their face about it. Especially since I already have a heart condition (ASD, repaired approx 8 years ago, not normally serious but in my case the hole was larger than a nickel and my prognosis was bad).

I know some people think it is funny to do this to people, but you never know what type of medical history someone has, and even healthy young people can literally be startled to death. I know I sound miserable but I am actually not. I do have a sense of humor, just not about this issue.

Oh, citation? Here you go.

Scientific American article

Body Odd article
 
2012-04-26 11:15:00 AM  

El Freak: guyinjeep16: Get a better job, live in a better neighborhood for cripes sake.

What's funny is most of the people I know with this mentality are fat white rednecks who live out in the sticks were almost NOTHING ever happens, so they really have nothing to be scared of. They're mostly just insecure morons with tiny penises who've watched too many stupid action movies.


... and then theres people like me with this mentality, who actually HAVE been the victim of a couple "youths" armed home invasion.

Fark self defense threads always irritate me.. "What are the odds thats REALLY going to happen? COME ON!". .... uh, it happened to me... and and I WAS living in nice suburbs.

It happens every day.. and it CAN happen to you. I personally will never be caught unprepared again.
 
2012-04-26 11:15:27 AM  
mongbiohazard Smartest
Funniest
2012-04-26 10:29:03 AM


cryinoutloud: doubled99: Genevieve Marie Smartest
Funniest
2012-04-26 04:22:02 AM
Holy crap.
That's... unforgivable. Making your partner fear for their life as a joke?
Wow.
That's okay. There's knock knock jokes and Ellen for people like you.

I have PTSD. Someone tried something like that with me, I'd try to kill them. Then I'd go take a bunch of tranquilizers and watch Ellen and laugh. Have a nice time in the hospital.


Some people never really grew up all the way and have a hard time empathizing with others, so they have a hard time distinguishing between pulling a joke and being a dick.




Everyone thinks they have a sense of humor, but a lot of people simply don't. They'll always provide lots of boring explanations for why things aren't funny. It's kind of sad.
 
2012-04-26 11:16:21 AM  
This thread is awesome.
From the baklava to the people that can't take a joke.


/I'd shiat my pants and flee if someone jumped out at me in my "empty" home
//not an ITG, just a computer nerd with no survival training
 
2012-04-26 11:16:37 AM  
Bala-what?
 
2012-04-26 11:19:26 AM  

EbolaNYC: No the worst boyfriend would have raped her and then pulled off the mask "Surprise! Hahahaha I fooled you! It's me so it's not REALLY rape!"


Yeah. That would be well-deserved jail time for such an idiot.
 
2012-04-26 11:19:47 AM  
miss diminutive: I had a similar thing happen to me. Boyfriend got a roommate to let him in while I wasn't home and then hid in my closet (for nearly an hour). He waited until I was getting ready to get in the shower when he decided to pounce. I screamed, jumped and ran straight into a wall.

I was still shaking an hour after it happened. We didn't last long after that.

It's really a pretty sadistic trick. It's not a funny gotcha moment. It's an"I just made you fear that you were about to be raped or murdered" moment. And man, laughing at your partner's fear and how they handle that fear is pretty gross.


This.

Plus...I thought he was actually WEARING delicious mediterranean dessert!
 
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