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(Gizmodo)   How to prove you've been abducted by aliens. Step 1: rent "Independence Day" and commit Randy Quaid's performance to memory   (gizmodo.com) divider line 47
    More: Silly, abducted by aliens, Neil deGrasse, history of science, Gizmodo  
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2162 clicks; posted to Geek » on 26 Apr 2012 at 6:19 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-25 11:50:55 PM  
sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-04-25 11:59:12 PM  
Ha-ha-ha! Hello, boys! I'm back!
 
2012-04-26 12:04:19 AM  
The aliens abused him... sexually
 
2012-04-26 02:00:30 AM  
Hello, boys! I'm back!
 
2012-04-26 03:07:52 AM  
Haven't heard about crazy Randy and his batshiat crazy wife in a while. Did the star whackers get him?
 
2012-04-26 03:09:51 AM  
Also remember, Aliens run Windows too.
 
2012-04-26 04:01:56 AM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Also remember, Aliens run Windows too.


Wrong. They run Apple System 7.
 
2012-04-26 05:10:57 AM  
Welcome to Earf.
 
2012-04-26 06:57:27 AM  
"This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself,
sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the
hang of Thursdays."
 
2012-04-26 07:36:32 AM  

rynthetyn: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Also remember, Aliens run Windows too.

Wrong. They run Apple System 7.


Actually, it wouldn't matter one way or the other what they ran.

At it's very basic, a virus is a small program that makes copies of itself. They already knew the encoding scheme used by the aliens to communicate, and they had a black box that they could test instructions on (the repaired alien fighter craft). All they really had to do was figure out a few simple instructions, and you could write an effective virus. Or at least, one effective enough against an opponent who isn't used to having to safeguard their computers.
 
2012-04-26 07:52:02 AM  
FTFA: ell out to the alien who's probing you, "Hey! Look over there!" And when the alien looks over there, you quickly snatch something off his shelf-an ashtray, anything-put it in your pocket, and lie back down. Then when your encounter is over and done with, you come to my lab and say, "Look what I stole from the flying saucer!"

Of course, what you just grabbed was a South of the Border snow globe, one of their souvenirs when they stopped over for some con queso and a pomegranate margarita.

Yeah, that would totally prove aliens are out there.
 
2012-04-26 08:01:52 AM  

the8re: FTFA: ell out to the alien who's probing you, "Hey! Look over there!" And when the alien looks over there, you quickly snatch something off his shelf-an ashtray, anything-put it in your pocket, and lie back down. Then when your encounter is over and done with, you come to my lab and say, "Look what I stole from the flying saucer!"

Of course, what you just grabbed was a South of the Border snow globe, one of their souvenirs when they stopped over for some con queso and a pomegranate margarita.

Yeah, that would totally prove aliens are out there.


I hear tell that fancy metal bracelets stolen from alien spaceships can be very effective in this regard.
 
2012-04-26 08:17:01 AM  

dittybopper: the8re: FTFA: ell out to the alien who's probing you, "Hey! Look over there!" And when the alien looks over there, you quickly snatch something off his shelf-an ashtray, anything-put it in your pocket, and lie back down. Then when your encounter is over and done with, you come to my lab and say, "Look what I stole from the flying saucer!"

Of course, what you just grabbed was a South of the Border snow globe, one of their souvenirs when they stopped over for some con queso and a pomegranate margarita.

Yeah, that would totally prove aliens are out there.

I hear tell that fancy metal bracelets stolen from alien spaceships can be very effective in this regard.


They also let the paramedics know that you have space diabeetus.
 
2012-04-26 08:30:31 AM  
Everyone knows aliens are just twisted ass freaks

i1127.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-26 08:34:10 AM  

Snapper Carr: Everyone knows aliens are just twisted ass freaks

[i1127.photobucket.com image 480x360]


imgs.xkcd.com
 
2012-04-26 08:37:17 AM  

ksobby: dittybopper: the8re: FTFA: ell out to the alien who's probing you, "Hey! Look over there!" And when the alien looks over there, you quickly snatch something off his shelf-an ashtray, anything-put it in your pocket, and lie back down. Then when your encounter is over and done with, you come to my lab and say, "Look what I stole from the flying saucer!"

Of course, what you just grabbed was a South of the Border snow globe, one of their souvenirs when they stopped over for some con queso and a pomegranate margarita.

Yeah, that would totally prove aliens are out there.

I hear tell that fancy metal bracelets stolen from alien spaceships can be very effective in this regard.

They also let the paramedics know that you have space diabeetus.


You know who else had space diabeetus?

images.wikia.com

Noa Briqualon, that's who.
 
2012-04-26 08:38:57 AM  

rynthetyn: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Also remember, Aliens run Windows too.

Wrong. They run Apple System 7.


Whilst Dittybopper is correct that all they did was fork bomb the computers, the whole "the aliens run X" is incorrect. Thanks to a piss poor editing job the scene where it's explained WE are using derivatives of THEIR technology was left out (might be in the directors cut as I distinctly remember seeing it).

So his Mac or your smartphone or well... whatever microprocessor powered machine running whatever OS you preferred would of done the job equally well.

What I don't get is why it took so damn long to send the equivalent of ":(){ :|:& };:".
 
2012-04-26 08:41:45 AM  

Vaneshi: rynthetyn: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Also remember, Aliens run Windows too.

Wrong. They run Apple System 7.

Whilst Dittybopper is correct that all they did was fork bomb the computers, the whole "the aliens run X" is incorrect. Thanks to a piss poor editing job the scene where it's explained WE are using derivatives of THEIR technology was left out (might be in the directors cut as I distinctly remember seeing it).

So his Mac or your smartphone or well... whatever microprocessor powered machine running whatever OS you preferred would of done the job equally well.

What I don't get is why it took so damn long to send the equivalent of ":(){ :|:& };:".


They also had to upload the fancy animated GIF of the skull laughing.
 
2012-04-26 08:44:15 AM  

dittybopper:
They also had to upload the fancy animated GIF of the skull laughing.


True and didn't it have a little wav file to make the thing laugh? At 14k4 (most common modem speed of the time) I'm surprised the upload only took 10min.
 
2012-04-26 08:53:03 AM  
I found something "advanced" up my ass.
 
2012-04-26 08:58:58 AM  

rogue49: I found something "advanced" up my ass.


Hamsters you shoved up there yourself don't count.
 
2012-04-26 09:03:19 AM  

Vaneshi: dittybopper:
They also had to upload the fancy animated GIF of the skull laughing.

True and didn't it have a little wav file to make the thing laugh? At 14k4 (most common modem speed of the time) I'm surprised the upload only took 10min.


Well, we don't know what kind of encoding scheme they used. Perhaps it was something relatively inefficient or redundant to overcome potential interference. Sometimes reliability of a link is better than flat-out transfer speed.

Consider this: They had to communicate through what they would consider "interference". There are encoding schemes used by hams that are relatively slow for the bandwidth that they use, but they are redundant enough that you can actually decode messages that are at or below the local noise level. If I were a species who had wiped out habitable areas previously, I'd certainly have taken into account the potential for there to be local interference on the frequencies that I'd be using.
 
2012-04-26 09:03:33 AM  

Vaneshi: rogue49: I found something "advanced" up my ass.

Hamsters you shoved up there yourself don't count.


What if it's a Space Hamster?
 
2012-04-26 09:05:16 AM  

Vaneshi: dittybopper:
They also had to upload the fancy animated GIF of the skull laughing.

True and didn't it have a little wav file to make the thing laugh? At 14k4 (most common modem speed of the time) I'm surprised the upload only took 10min.


Now I'm wondering what kind of wireless networking they'd use to communicate with the ship. I guess wifi is an adapted version of the alien's wireless networks? that was initially 1.1 mbit/s wasn't it?
 
2012-04-26 09:07:03 AM  

Ghost Roach: Vaneshi: rogue49: I found something "advanced" up my ass.

Hamsters you shoved up there yourself don't count.

What if it's a Space Hamster?


Those tend to go for the eyes
 
2012-04-26 09:14:30 AM  

dittybopper: You know who else had space diabeetus?

[images.wikia.com image 275x361]

Noa Briqualon, that's who.



Could be worse.

t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-04-26 09:19:48 AM  
Which part of his performance?

dl.dropbox.com

/Paging Homeland security, Homeland security to the Geek Tab please...
 
2012-04-26 09:20:17 AM  

Vaneshi: rynthetyn: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Also remember, Aliens run Windows too.

Wrong. They run Apple System 7.

Whilst Dittybopper is correct that all they did was fork bomb the computers, the whole "the aliens run X" is incorrect. Thanks to a piss poor editing job the scene where it's explained WE are using derivatives of THEIR technology was left out (might be in the directors cut as I distinctly remember seeing it).

So his Mac or your smartphone or well... whatever microprocessor powered machine running whatever OS you preferred would of done the job equally well.

What I don't get is why it took so damn long to send the equivalent of ":(){ :|:& };:".


Yup. I think it is in the extended cut. What I think was over the top was the animated gif of the Jolly Rodger laughing skull and the sound of it laughing.

The virus thing is believable, as it is possible they don't have assholes that write computer viruses so it never occurred to them to do that. Or, their viruses are different and their version of Norton doesn't catch it.
 
2012-04-26 09:33:00 AM  

machoprogrammer: The virus thing is believable, as it is possible they don't have assholes that write computer viruses so it never occurred to them to do that. Or, their viruses are different and their version of Norton doesn't catch it.


Can you imagine the shiat their IT guys will get for that? There's undoubtedly more aliens than those that got blown up, so there's got to be an IT department on their home planet or whatever temporary base planet they've got.
Alien president: you farking morons at IT. How did a bunch of morons of earf send a.. what is it called? "virus"? and blow up our ships?!
Alien IT: well we didn't know they could do that...
Alien president: I don't want to hear your excuses. A bunch of farking monkeys outsmarted you morons. You're all fired.
*weeks later, the aliens' IT workers fark up all their systems, going out in a blaze of glory, crippling the aliens' advanced technology.*
Alien president: Son of a biatch...
 
2012-04-26 09:39:18 AM  

machoprogrammer: The virus thing is believable, as it is possible they don't have assholes that write computer viruses so it never occurred to them to do that. Or, their viruses are different and their version of Norton doesn't catch it.


I'd say that computer viruses are the product of a free society.
If you live in the equivalent of a hive mind or rigid social structure, its entirely possible that the masses will never lay hands on the back end of the computer tech they use.
Problem is they knew enough about our tech to hack into our satellites, but didn't understand why we locked them up?

Actually... Maybe its a good example of the walled garden model gone awry.
One class programs, all others are users, and the programming class failed to think of everything because they've never gone up against dissenting programmers.

/Shutoff brain, eat popcorn, enjoy explosions.
 
2012-04-26 09:51:41 AM  

Mentat: Ha-ha-ha! Hello, boys! I'm back!


Dumb movie, but I always liked that moment.

Drives me NUTS though a few minutes earlier when he explains to the other pilots he's out for revenge since he was once abducted by aliens - and the other pilots EYE ROLL AT THE CAMERA at the craziness of his story!
 
2012-04-26 09:56:55 AM  

way south: I'd say that computer viruses are the product of a free society.
If you live in the equivalent of a hive mind or rigid social structure, its entirely possible that the masses will never lay hands on the back end of the computer tech they use.
Problem is they knew enough about our tech to hack into our satellites, but didn't understand why we locked them up?


Why would they have to?

Think about it: The modus operandi is to put all your ships into place, concentrating on what you assume to be the major communications, control, and population centers, and wipe them all out at the same time, then move on to the other population centers and wipe them out, working your way down until after a few days, you've wiped them all out.

The plan uses speed and technology to overwhelm the opponent, not guile.

As a species that appears to have some sort of insectoid hive mentality, it might not even occur to them that someone would be able to figure out their computer systems within enough time to do anything, and even if they *DID*, they wouldn't have had a chance to implement any sort of effective counter-attack without access to the mothership, safely parked in orbit far enough away *AND* shielded from any possible attack.

Any one of a number of very small things could have gone slightly differently and it would have resulted in the Earthlings getting wiped out (presumably like other species had been).
 
2012-04-26 10:08:17 AM  
6 out of the top links are gizmo sites...... I hope someone's getting paid well.
 
2012-04-26 11:18:45 AM  

OnlyM3: 6 out of the top links are gizmo sites...... I hope someone's getting paid well.


It's not news...it's Gawker!
 
2012-04-26 11:50:39 AM  

dopeydwarf: [sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net image 640x233]


I wanted this for my facebook timeline. Sadly it does not meet the minimum pixel count requirements. If you have a larger version that would be most excellent, and appreciated!
 
2012-04-26 01:01:28 PM  
does anybody have a link to the article that points out all the physics errors in Independence day?

my google must be broken because i can't find it.
 
2012-04-26 01:56:29 PM  
images.wikia.com
 
2012-04-26 03:25:19 PM  

Snapper Carr: Everyone knows aliens are just twisted ass freaks

[i1127.photobucket.com image 480x360]


dick head.
 
2012-04-26 04:12:51 PM  

dittybopper: The plan uses speed and technology to overwhelm the opponent, not guile.


Yes, but if this is a plan that (we presume) has worked more than once then it must have been tested. We wouldn't be the first species desperately clawing at the face of this attacker.
The "Shield off" switch was discovered by a single drunk programmer in less than a day, meaning their consoles must have been wide open.

If these guys wen't up against a truly intelligent race, they'd have all suffocated in their ships a decade before arrival.
 
2012-04-26 08:40:56 PM  

way south: dittybopper: The plan uses speed and technology to overwhelm the opponent, not guile.

Yes, but if this is a plan that (we presume) has worked more than once then it must have been tested. We wouldn't be the first species desperately clawing at the face of this attacker.
The "Shield off" switch was discovered by a single drunk programmer in less than a day, meaning their consoles must have been wide open.

If these guys wen't up against a truly intelligent race, they'd have all suffocated in their ships a decade before arrival.


1. It wasn't a single drunk programmer. He got the idea, and they then pulled all the people who had been working on the thing for decades to implement it.

2. It then follows that it required access to the alien technology to test it. We happened to have one of them that had crashed roughly 40 years earlier, long enough to learn a lot of the basics.
 
2012-04-26 08:53:38 PM  

dittybopper: way south: dittybopper: The plan uses speed and technology to overwhelm the opponent, not guile.

Yes, but if this is a plan that (we presume) has worked more than once then it must have been tested. We wouldn't be the first species desperately clawing at the face of this attacker.
The "Shield off" switch was discovered by a single drunk programmer in less than a day, meaning their consoles must have been wide open.

If these guys wen't up against a truly intelligent race, they'd have all suffocated in their ships a decade before arrival.

1. It wasn't a single drunk programmer. He got the idea, and they then pulled all the people who had been working on the thing for decades to implement it.

2. It then follows that it required access to the alien technology to test it. We happened to have one of them that had crashed roughly 40 years earlier, long enough to learn a lot of the basics.


Exactly. Earth got lucky because a scout ship crashed and the US government got to study it for almost 50 years, reverse engineering much of the alien technology for commerical applications like personal computers. This gave the Earth a HUGE advantage over other planets that fell prey to the alien invaders.
 
2012-04-26 11:22:02 PM  
FTA: But you can't be a scientist if you're uncomfortable with ignorance, because scientists live at the boundary between what is known and unknown in the cosmos. This is very different from the way journalists portray us.

What an egotistical self-aggrandizing little shiat Neil Degr...holy crap NDT said this? As if that is what scientists and only scientists do? Did he hire a ghostwriter? Fark this is depressing to see. I hate it when a hero diminishes himself.
 
2012-04-26 11:57:44 PM  

Bennie Crabtree:
What an egotistical self-aggrandizing little shiat Neil Degr...holy crap NDT said this? As if that is what scientists and only scientists do? Did he hire a ghostwriter? Fark this is depressing to see. I hate it when a hero diminishes himself.


I keep hearing about this NDT person, I really should investigate more. However, he is quite correct. Scientists are portrayed in the media as these multi-discipline experts in everything with brains the size of planets (and pains in the diodes down their left side). But in reality when you take one outside of their field they're pretty much as pig ignorant about the new subject as either you or I would be.

Going from super genius to retard just by walking to a different part of the building can make people uncomfortable, when that happens they tend to bullshiat or splerg randomly when a camera is pointed at them about a subject they don't understand.

It's quite poorly worded I agree but the gist of it seems to be "Accept you won't know everything about everything and make sure you don't splerg to the cameras when your physicist ass is caught by reporters looking for a moleculer biologist or some shiat".
 
2012-04-27 01:03:57 AM  
I really wish those alien perverts would stop cramming stuff up my ass.
 
2012-04-27 02:02:59 AM  
Bennie Crabtree
FTA: But you can't be a scientist if you're
uncomfortable with ignorance, because
scientists live at the boundary between what is
known and unknown in the cosmos. This is very different from the way journalists portray us. What an egotistical self-aggrandizing little shiat Neil Degr...holy crap NDT said this? As if that is what scientists and only scientists do? Did he hire a ghost writer? Fark this is depressing to see. I hate it when a hero diminishes himself.
`
In what way does admitting you don't know everything about everything (or everything about Anything) diminish a man?
`
 
2012-04-27 07:07:29 AM  
IIRC: There's an old confucian quote that goes along the lines of "A wise man knows what he doesn't know, only a fool thinks he knows everything".

If a scientist in a particular field wishes to continue appearing wise, he has to know when he's stepped out of his element.
 
2012-04-27 10:12:52 AM  

way south: IIRC: There's an old confucian quote that goes along the lines of "A wise man knows what he doesn't know, only a fool thinks he knows everything".

If a scientist in a particular field wishes to continue appearing wise, he has to know when he's stepped out of his element.


It's funny: All the people I know know that I'm a programmer/analyst, so in their minds that automatically makes me an expert in Macs, Windoze, and every little problem they might have on their laptop. I'll honestly try to help them if I can, but I always preface it with "I write software on large computers, not PCs, so I'm not an expert on this kind of stuff".
 
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