FARK.com: (7071348) Ten bizarre alien Jedi from the Star Wars universe. Yes, the Ewok Jedi was as useless as you'd expect

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		Ten bizarre alien Jedi from the Star Wars universe. Yes, the Ewok Jedi was as useless as you'd expect (io9.com)		89
		More: Silly, Star Wars, Jedi, alien species, Expanded Universe, Samuel L Jackson, dark horse, Mickey Mouse Club, Obi-Wan Kenobi

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Fano		2012-04-26 08:56:14 AM

Vaneshi: Alphax: Fano: [images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 250x404]

Sadly, never had Force powers... that we know of

That green rabbit man, whatever he was.

Bucky O'Hare is what I thought it was from the look of it and as far as I'm aware had nothing to actually do with Star Wars. Although I'd have to question who ripped who off over that one if the green rabbit is, actually, a SW character.

His name was Jaxxon, and he was mentioned in the article. He was in the Marvel comics from around 1980

Alphax		2012-04-26 08:59:25 AM

Fano: His name was Jaxxon, and he was mentioned in the article. He was in the Marvel comics from around 1980

I think that sounds right. There was some hot human woman with him, IIRC. 32 years ago, hard to remember.

Vaneshi		2012-04-26 09:03:57 AM

Fano:
His name was Jaxxon, and he was mentioned in the article. He was in the Marvel comics from around 1980

TIL exactly when the Star Wars franchise started going down hill.

/It's an io9 link, I ain't clicking that farker for all the tea in china.

Jackpot777		2012-04-26 09:09:28 AM

Before the dark times. Before the Empire...

29.media.tumblr.com

PanicMan		2012-04-26 09:13:58 AM

Enemabag Jones: When ones starts digging into the basement of Wookepedia, the whole thing really starts to fall apart.

This is one of many differences between Star Trek and Star Wars. And why JJ Abrams should be making Star Wars movies and not Star Trek movies.

Seriously, this. You can't just start claiming anything is a Jedi. Force abilites, sure. But a Wampa? Come on. You can't just take your favorite character and give it a light saber. Well, you can, but it's crappy writing.

/Saw Star Wars "Operation" in a toy store yesterday. You're pulling parts out of R-2. *Sigh*

timharrod		2012-04-26 09:23:49 AM

8.) Skippy the Droid
In Star Wars lore, there exists the legend of Skippy, a Force-sensitive R5-D4 unit who caused himself to malfunction so that the Jawas could sell R2-D2 to Luke Skywalker.

Some clarification: "Skippy" was a short comic feature that was not just expanded universe, but explicitly a humor piece from Dark Horse's "Infinities" line of "screw canon for the fun of it" stories.

As I recall, a panel showing the droid graveyard inside the sandcrawler (Episode 4) had lots of shout-outs to other pop culture robots like Bender and the MST3K robots. It was that kind of tone.

Yes, Star Wars went totally off the rails a long time ago, but for what it's worth they didn't seriously foist "Skippy the Jedi Droid" on us.

Aboleth		2012-04-26 09:25:11 AM

Digitalstrange: I played the RPG and was a Felinoid Jedi I described as looking like Bill the Cat in Jedi robes.

Wait, really? I once ran an RPG session where the players met a 9 foot tall rancor runt that acted and sounded like Bill the Cat! Even coughed up hairballs for some strange reason.

UNC_Samurai		2012-04-26 09:39:45 AM

PanicMan: Enemabag Jones: When ones starts digging into the basement of Wookepedia, the whole thing really starts to fall apart.

This is one of many differences between Star Trek and Star Wars. And why JJ Abrams should be making Star Wars movies and not Star Trek movies.

Seriously, this. You can't just start claiming anything is a Jedi. Force abilites, sure. But a Wampa? Come on. You can't just take your favorite character and give it a light saber. Well, you can, but it's crappy writing.

/Saw Star Wars "Operation" in a toy store yesterday. You're pulling parts out of R-2. *Sigh*

And yet we can't get another line of starship miniatures. And no, Fantasy Flight's lineup is woefully inadequate and only does starfighters, no capital ships.

Magorn		2012-04-26 09:50:00 AM

timharrod: tryptik: 8.) Skippy the Droid
In Star Wars lore, there exists the legend of Skippy, a Force-sensitive R5-D4 unit who caused himself to malfunction so that the Jawas could sell R2-D2 to Luke Skywalker.

Wat?

8.) Skippy the Droid
In Star Wars lore, there exists the legend of Skippy, a Force-sensitive R5-D4 unit who caused himself to malfunction so that the Jawas could sell R2-D2 to Luke Skywalker.

Since we "now know" that Force sensitivity is caused by parasitic micro-organisms in your bloodstream, explain to me how a droid, a machine, could possibly be force sensitive?

Dr. Whoof		2012-04-26 09:55:34 AM

As a veteran of innumerable Sith Wars on RASSM (and if you know what that is, may G*nk have pity on your soul), leaving out G*nk (or Gonk to you blasphemous heathens) is unforgivable.

Any droid can be a Jedi. It takes a POWER droid to become a god.Link

timharrod		2012-04-26 10:05:34 AM

Magorn: timharrod: tryptik: 8.) Skippy the Droid
In Star Wars lore, there exists the legend of Skippy, a Force-sensitive R5-D4 unit who caused himself to malfunction so that the Jawas could sell R2-D2 to Luke Skywalker.

Wat?

8.) Skippy the Droid
In Star Wars lore, there exists the legend of Skippy, a Force-sensitive R5-D4 unit who caused himself to malfunction so that the Jawas could sell R2-D2 to Luke Skywalker.

Since we "now know" that Force sensitivity is caused by parasitic micro-organisms in your bloodstream, explain to me how a droid, a machine, could possibly be force sensitive?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Midi-chloroxian

born_yesterday		2012-04-26 10:22:47 AM

timharrod: Magorn: timharrod: tryptik: 8.) Skippy the Droid
In Star Wars lore, there exists the legend of Skippy, a Force-sensitive R5-D4 unit who caused himself to malfunction so that the Jawas could sell R2-D2 to Luke Skywalker.

Wat?

8.) Skippy the Droid
In Star Wars lore, there exists the legend of Skippy, a Force-sensitive R5-D4 unit who caused himself to malfunction so that the Jawas could sell R2-D2 to Luke Skywalker.

Since we "now know" that Force sensitivity is caused by parasitic micro-organisms in your bloodstream, explain to me how a droid, a machine, could possibly be force sensitive?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Midi-chloroxian

Oh Jesus farking Christ.

Magorn		2012-04-26 10:41:09 AM

born_yesterday: timharrod: Magorn: timharrod: tryptik: 8.) Skippy the Droid
In Star Wars lore, there exists the legend of Skippy, a Force-sensitive R5-D4 unit who caused himself to malfunction so that the Jawas could sell R2-D2 to Luke Skywalker.

Wat?

8.) Skippy the Droid
In Star Wars lore, there exists the legend of Skippy, a Force-sensitive R5-D4 unit who caused himself to malfunction so that the Jawas could sell R2-D2 to Luke Skywalker.

Since we "now know" that Force sensitivity is caused by parasitic micro-organisms in your bloodstream, explain to me how a droid, a machine, could possibly be force sensitive?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Midi-chloroxian

Oh Jesus farking Christ.

You said it better than I could. Man I love SF, in nearly ever color and flavor under the rainbow, I've got hundreds of SF books in my Library from the earliest days of the golden age to some of the weirest of the post modernists. I even have special place in my heart for the pure pulp, and space opera genres, The Princess of Mars and Ming the Merciless kind of baroque SF fantasy. Yet it is stuff like this that explains why, even though I really enjoyed the first 2/1/2 movies and at least tolerated the remainder, I do not and will not own a single star wars novel. Honestly, the universe has become so convulted its simply too stupid to enjoy on any level.

azazyel		2012-04-26 10:48:13 AM

Kelvron:

To be honest, the Starfighters of Adumar was my favorite Rogue Squadron book. Why? Because it was old Rogue Squadron being badasses on a random planet that equated fighter pilots to gods.

As far as the article went, it was meh. They cited more non-canon sources than canon.

I love that book, my favorite quote from almost the whole series comes from that one.

Wedge: Sithspit! What's that?
Janson: That's the sun Wedge. It's after dawn
Wedge: Well, it offends me. Turn it off
Janson: It's a 130, 140 million klicks from here
Wedge: Go up in your X-Wing and shoot it down for me

escherblacksmith		2012-04-26 11:10:27 AM

Magorn: timharrod: tryptik: 8.) Skippy the Droid
Since we "now know" that Force sensitivity is caused by parasitic micro-organisms in your bloodstream, explain to me how a droid, a machine, could possibly be force sensitive?

cuz the 'droids' are actually misshapenned Daleks with memories wiped?

hee.

escherblacksmith		2012-04-26 11:16:04 AM

or a perhaps it even goes deeper . . .

www.wired.com

\*whirrr**beep*EXTERMINATE

Cyno01		2012-04-26 11:16:59 AM

The English Major		2012-04-26 11:36:31 AM

Eddie T. Head: Wayne 985: Wasn't there a bunny rabbit or a squirrel or something that became a Jedi? He was a student of Yoda's and I'm ashamed to remember this.

This guy?

[images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 250x403]

Ikrit?

He got killed in one of the NJO books. Thank God.

Peki		2012-04-26 12:11:17 PM

Alphax: Kelvron: To be honest, the Starfighters of Adumar was my favorite Rogue Squadron book. Why? Because it was old Rogue Squadron being badasses on a random planet that equated fighter pilots to gods.

It also got Wedge back together with his Corellian girlfriend, whose name I can't spell from memory.

You mean Iella Wessiri, Corran Horn's old Cor-Sec partner? (Admittedly, the only books I've read are the X-wing series and I, Jedi, so it's possible Wedge had a diff't girlfriend, and Starfighters is a bit blurry for me atm.)

/girl nerds ftw
//would totally have Coran Horn's babies
///And Mirax's too
/slashies!

tlchwi02		2012-04-26 12:13:38 PM

Magorn: Since we "now know" that Force sensitivity is caused by parasitic micro-organisms in your bloodstream, explain to me how a droid, a machine, could possibly be force sensitive?

that was the thing i never picked up on. Did they ever state that the midi-chlorians were the cause of force sensitivity? It seemed from the way they were introduced that they could very well be an effect of being force sensitive. like anti-bodies form when you're exposed to certain diseases, midi-chlorians form when a creature is exposed to lots of the force. i've never figured where the cause vs. effect argument was settled

UNC_Samurai		2012-04-26 12:14:46 PM

The English Major: Eddie T. Head: Wayne 985: Wasn't there a bunny rabbit or a squirrel or something that became a Jedi? He was a student of Yoda's and I'm ashamed to remember this.

This guy?

[images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 250x403]

Ikrit?

He got killed in one of the NJO books. Thank God.

They actually did something right in the NJO books? I'm skeptical.

/quit reading EU books after Salvatore vomited out that tripe with Chewie
//WILL be buying Scoundrels when it's released

Alphax		2012-04-26 12:25:02 PM

Peki: Alphax: Kelvron: To be honest, the Starfighters of Adumar was my favorite Rogue Squadron book. Why? Because it was old Rogue Squadron being badasses on a random planet that equated fighter pilots to gods.

It also got Wedge back together with his Corellian girlfriend, whose name I can't spell from memory.

You mean Iella Wessiri, Corran Horn's old Cor-Sec partner? (Admittedly, the only books I've read are the X-wing series and I, Jedi, so it's possible Wedge had a diff't girlfriend, and Starfighters is a bit blurry for me atm.)

/girl nerds ftw
//would totally have Coran Horn's babies
///And Mirax's too
/slashies!

Iella, yes. I could say it, but not spell it..

Yeah, one of the other authors hooked Wedge up with an blue feathered scientist girl who had helped the Empire design the Death Star and Sun Crusher super weapons, in her naivety. The Admiral Dalla books.

th0th		2012-04-26 12:31:26 PM

One Bad Apple: Honest Bender: I don't see why a jedi ewok couldn't be awesome. Yoda was a small scrawny swamp rat and he was quite possible the most bad ass jedi portrayed in the movies (I haven't read any books).

Other than lift Luke's crashed X wing out of the mud Yoda never did anything conclusively badassed in the films.

Fight with Saruman Dooku : failure

Fight with Emperor : failure

He's an intergalactic AAA towtruck operator at best.

I thought in the Episode III novelization Yoda had a premonition of the future during the Force lightning battle with the Emperor, realized it was not the time to defeat Palpatine, and that for the first time he understood the Prophecy about Anakin. Or something. The movie didn't quite make it out like that, because once Yoda fell to the floor of the Senate he skulked away with his "Into exile must I go" speech and all that.

I quit trying to understand the Star Wars movies after the Red Letter Media reviews. There's no way I can go to the extremes that guy goes. He compared Episode III to Citizen Kane, for chrissakes, and it MADE SENSE.

Nuclear Monk		2012-04-26 12:40:57 PM

All I know is that I have my daughter convinced that most jedi's get their hands cut off at some point such that it is basically a prerequisite to becoming a full fledged jedi knight.

(For whatever reason, the yoda action figure she has includes interchangeable hands, which bolsters my case immensely)

The English Major		2012-04-26 01:02:24 PM

UNC_Samurai: They actually did something right in the NJO books? I'm skeptical.

/quit reading EU books after Salvatore vomited out that tripe with Chewie
//WILL be buying Scoundrels when it's released

I gave up on them after the second book in the Fate of the Jedi series, though the Darth Bane books were worth reading as were Zahn's two Mara Jade books.

Fano		2012-04-26 01:19:22 PM

tlchwi02: Magorn: Since we "now know" that Force sensitivity is caused by parasitic micro-organisms in your bloodstream, explain to me how a droid, a machine, could possibly be force sensitive?

that was the thing i never picked up on. Did they ever state that the midi-chlorians were the cause of force sensitivity? It seemed from the way they were introduced that they could very well be an effect of being force sensitive. like anti-bodies form when you're exposed to certain diseases, midi-chlorians form when a creature is exposed to lots of the force. i've never figured where the cause vs. effect argument was settled

Even though there is evidence that midi-chlorians were planned from the very beginning, it appears to be merely a plot device to establish conclusively that Anakin's power levels are "over 9000" and somehow necessary to explain why his son also would be extremely Force sensitive.

The Force is in fact in "everything" as Yoda (if he hasn't been proven to be a liar on the level of Baron Munchausen or Don Quixote) said: "Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship." I guess technically it could be some field given off by living things that penetrates everything, but at any rate it limits imagination, answers questions no one was asking, and doesn't make for anything more interesting to the storytelling. In my opinion, "the Force works, biatches" and needs little more explanation than that.

Did J.K. Rowling ever explain the mechanism by which magic worked, or the genetic capabilities of muggles, squibs, and mudbloods? If she did it was a waste of paper.

tlchwi02		2012-04-26 01:26:24 PM

Fano: "Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship."

ok, so its an energy field that is created by life and covers everything, including things that are not alive....

Fano: I guess technically it could be some field given off by living things that penetrates everything, but at any rate it limits imagination, answers questions no one was asking, and doesn't make for anything more interesting to the storytelling.

so what the heck is your point? you said above that its an energy field that covers everything according to yoda and then you follow it up with "i guess it could be an energy field that covers everything but thats boring and should never be explained."

and on top of that, what in the name of all that is holy does that have to do with my original point? I was wondering why people assume that midi-cholrians cause force power and aren't caused BY force powers- was it addressed in the EU? Did lucas say something on the "behind the scenes" footage for one of the DVDs? Did nostradamus predict the coming of this? what in the name of all that is holy does any part of your contradictory screed have to do with my simple question?

Fano		2012-04-26 02:03:10 PM

tlchwi02: Fano: "Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship."

ok, so its an energy field that is created by life and covers everything, including things that are not alive....

Fano: I guess technically it could be some field given off by living things that penetrates everything, but at any rate it limits imagination, answers questions no one was asking, and doesn't make for anything more interesting to the storytelling.

so what the heck is your point? you said above that its an energy field that covers everything according to yoda and then you follow it up with "i guess it could be an energy field that covers everything but thats boring and should never be explained."

and on top of that, what in the name of all that is holy does that have to do with my original point? I was wondering why people assume that midi-cholrians cause force power and aren't caused BY force powers- was it addressed in the EU? Did lucas say something on the "behind the scenes" footage for one of the DVDs? Did nostradamus predict the coming of this? what in the name of all that is holy does any part of your contradictory screed have to do with my simple question?

Midichlorians

They are the basis of all life in the Star Wars universe, but Force sensitivity depends on having a certain cell count of midichlorians. Apparently they are the conduit that allows the Force to be tapped. In canon, they are only indicators for Force sensitivity, not something that causes the Force or creates it. Some Jedi believed that the midichlorians were created by the Force in order to connect with biologicals. Based on EU and canon, it does not appear to be some sort of immune reaction or byproduct of your Force abilities.

Does that calm the rage within you?

PanicMan		2012-04-26 02:59:32 PM

UNC_Samurai: PanicMan: Enemabag Jones: When ones starts digging into the basement of Wookepedia, the whole thing really starts to fall apart.

This is one of many differences between Star Trek and Star Wars. And why JJ Abrams should be making Star Wars movies and not Star Trek movies.

Seriously, this. You can't just start claiming anything is a Jedi. Force abilites, sure. But a Wampa? Come on. You can't just take your favorite character and give it a light saber. Well, you can, but it's crappy writing.

/Saw Star Wars "Operation" in a toy store yesterday. You're pulling parts out of R-2. *Sigh*

And yet we can't get another line of starship miniatures. And no, Fantasy Flight's lineup is woefully inadequate and only does starfighters, no capital ships.

And everyone begs for a remake of Xwing vs Tie fighter, and we get goddamn dancing kinect star wars.

tlchwi02		2012-04-26 03:09:33 PM

PanicMan: And everyone begs for a remake of Xwing vs Tie fighter, and we get goddamn dancing kinect star wars.

to be fair, would you really want x-wing vs. tie fighter as developed for the Xbox 360? i wouldn't.

born_yesterday		2012-04-26 04:34:05 PM

Fano: Even though there is evidence that midi-chlorians were planned from the very beginning, it appears to be merely a plot device to establish conclusively that Anakin's power levels are "over 9000" and somehow necessary to explain why his son also would be extremely Force sensitive.

The smartest thing the Jedi ever did was forbid marriage and child-rearing when the entire basis of their power was a hereditary sensitivity to the Force.

Lucas, you're no Herbert

PackerWacker		2012-04-26 07:23:51 PM

Fano: Vaneshi: Alphax: Fano: [images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 250x404]

Sadly, never had Force powers... that we know of

That green rabbit man, whatever he was.

Bucky O'Hare is what I thought it was from the look of it and as far as I'm aware had nothing to actually do with Star Wars. Although I'd have to question who ripped who off over that one if the green rabbit is, actually, a SW character.

His name was Jaxxon, and he was mentioned in the article. He was in the Marvel comics from around 1980

Yup, Jaxxon was part of a "Magnificent Seven" storyline in a SW comic which Marvel had around then. Han Solo was on a planet and had to recruit a bunch of mercs to help defend a village.

/Geek check - DING!

timharrod		2012-04-26 11:56:30 PM

PanicMan: /Saw Star Wars "Operation" in a toy store yesterday. You're pulling parts out of R-2. *Sigh*

Not as egregiously ridiculous as all those licensed-character Mr. Potato Heads. MPH is supposed to be a creativity toy where you decide what the finished product looks like! The Star Wars, etc. MPHs completely discard that whole concept for something that's already built, and then I guess you put it on a shelf and look at it.

Cyno01		2012-04-27 12:17:30 AM

timharrod: PanicMan: /Saw Star Wars "Operation" in a toy store yesterday. You're pulling parts out of R-2. *Sigh*

Not as egregiously ridiculous as all those licensed-character Mr. Potato Heads. MPH is supposed to be a creativity toy where you decide what the finished product looks like! The Star Wars, etc. MPHs completely discard that whole concept for something that's already built, and then I guess you put it on a shelf and look at it.

I have 9 of the liscensed mr potato heads on a shelf to look at. :-/

/if you push the hat on Idaho Jones it plays the music
//but i still like darth tater and optimash prime better

zunkus		2012-04-27 02:24:17 AM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Ewok Jedi is still less of a pussy than Hayden Christensen

While that may be true, Hayden Christensen has gotten me laid twice (we share a last name). All it takes is convincing some dumb broad we are related.

Alphax		2012-04-27 02:30:06 AM

zunkus: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Ewok Jedi is still less of a pussy than Hayden Christensen

While that may be true, Hayden Christensen has gotten me laid twice (we share a last name). All it takes is convincing some dumb broad we are related.

Hmmm.. if I could say I was a cousin of the Thorpedo.. eh, probably not..

zunkus		2012-04-27 02:49:48 AM

Alphax: zunkus: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Ewok Jedi is still less of a pussy than Hayden Christensen

While that may be true, Hayden Christensen has gotten me laid twice (we share a last name). All it takes is convincing some dumb broad we are related.

Hmmm.. if I could say I was a cousin of the Thorpedo.. eh, probably not..

Heh.

Skwrl		2012-04-27 04:25:35 PM

born_yesterday: Fano:

Lucas, you're no Herbert

30.media.tumblr.com

Disagrees.

JasonOfOrillia		2012-04-27 11:11:53 PM

Skwrl: born_yesterday: Fano:

Lucas, you're no Herbert

[30.media.tumblr.com image 386x415]

Disagrees.

You're gonna look pretty funny tryin' to eat corn on the cob with no farkin' teeth!

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