If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CBS Los Angeles 2)   All porno movies produced in Simi Valley must now be reviewed by city's police department to ensure proper condom use. Breathless, sweaty detectives promise to put in as many hours as it takes to service protection   (losangeles.cbslocal.com) divider line 136
    More: Amusing, Simi Valley, detectives, movie producer, protections, the city, safe, porn  
•       •       •

4895 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Apr 2012 at 12:39 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



136 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-25 11:48:43 AM
This is strange. There has to be more to the story here. There are really only few reasons I can come up with as to why a city/town would make it difficult to film an adult movie:

The filming, the trucks, all the support staff cars, all the equipment, etc. is highly disruptive to the neighborhood.

Prudish neighbors get freaked out about adult films being produced in their neighborhood - its a whole "Won't somebody please think of the children?" mentality.

A few, loud and prudish folk from the city/town do not like the idea of adult films being produced anywhere in their town...ever. And the filming fees that come into the city/town as revenue simply are not worth it because it is "smut".

Other than these three examples, I cannot fathom as to why such red tape would exist in filming adult films.
 
2012-04-25 12:41:59 PM
Anyone ever notice where the Reagan Library is? Simi Valley is a hive of scum and republicanism.
 
2012-04-25 12:42:03 PM

Endive Wombat: This is strange. There has to be more to the story here. There are really only few reasons I can come up with as to why a city/town would make it difficult to film an adult movie:

The filming, the trucks, all the support staff cars, all the equipment, etc. is highly disruptive to the neighborhood.

Prudish neighbors get freaked out about adult films being produced in their neighborhood - its a whole "Won't somebody please think of the children?" mentality.

A few, loud and prudish folk from the city/town do not like the idea of adult films being produced anywhere in their town...ever. And the filming fees that come into the city/town as revenue simply are not worth it because it is "smut".

Other than these three examples, I cannot fathom as to why such red tape would exist in filming adult films.


By the assumption that if they're immoral in one area, they are immoral to another. In other words, anything sexual somehow brings up the crime rate.
 
2012-04-25 12:42:12 PM
What...No more Barebacking!! Condoms Suck!
 
2012-04-25 12:42:22 PM
Well, at least the pig cops now have something to watch while they smoke the confiscated marijuana.
 
2012-04-25 12:42:25 PM
This is clearly a recruitment effort by the local police department...
 
2012-04-25 12:42:34 PM
Well I guess it's time for them to pull out of Simi.
 
2012-04-25 12:42:36 PM
... including gay midget porn.
 
2012-04-25 12:42:45 PM

Endive Wombat: Prudish neighbors get freaked out about adult films being produced in their neighborhood - its a whole "Won't somebody please think of the children?" mentality.


Aaaaaand there you have it.
 
2012-04-25 12:45:08 PM

Endive Wombat: This is strange. There has to be more to the story here. There are really only few reasons I can come up with as to why a city/town would make it difficult to film an adult movie:

The filming, the trucks, all the support staff cars, all the equipment, etc. is highly disruptive to the neighborhood.

Prudish neighbors get freaked out about adult films being produced in their neighborhood - its a whole "Won't somebody please think of the children?" mentality.

A few, loud and prudish folk from the city/town do not like the idea of adult films being produced anywhere in their town...ever. And the filming fees that come into the city/town as revenue simply are not worth it because it is "smut".

Other than these three examples, I cannot fathom as to why such red tape would exist in filming adult films.


Los Angeles is putting in the condoms required law because of health concerns. The porn industry has said "Fine, we'll just move out of the city limits" and I'm guessing Simi Valley was one of the spots they were strongly considering.

You'd be surprised how many people are "not in my backyard" about porn.
 
2012-04-25 12:45:14 PM
That job would be extremely frustrating. Especially if you had to watch it in a room with other people.
 
2012-04-25 12:45:33 PM

Endive Wombat: This is strange. There has to be more to the story here. There are really only few reasons I can come up with as to why a city/town would make it difficult to film an adult movie:

The filming, the trucks, all the support staff cars, all the equipment, etc. is highly disruptive to the neighborhood.

Prudish neighbors get freaked out about adult films being produced in their neighborhood - its a whole "Won't somebody please think of the children?" mentality.

A few, loud and prudish folk from the city/town do not like the idea of adult films being produced anywhere in their town...ever. And the filming fees that come into the city/town as revenue simply are not worth it because it is "smut".

Other than these three examples, I cannot fathom as to why such red tape would exist in filming adult films.


Worker safety.
 
2012-04-25 12:45:35 PM

Wittenberg Dropout: Well I guess it's time for them to pull out of Simi.


Win.
 
2012-04-25 12:45:47 PM

Endive Wombat: Other than these three examples, I cannot fathom as to why such red tape would exist in filming adult films.


The citizens are genuinely concerned about the possible spread of disease among the participants, but are also so naive that they don't realize that the production will simply move elsewhere.
 
2012-04-25 12:46:06 PM
I hear there are a dozen former secret service agents looking for work.
 
2012-04-25 12:46:09 PM
Are they going to rename San Pornando Valley?

/Porn production will just move into other areas.
//Probably not Slimy Valley.
 
2012-04-25 12:47:05 PM
If you don't want to watch it, then don't watch it. It's not as if you're being forced to watch porn against your will
 
2012-04-25 12:47:22 PM
Note: The police station will now have a refillable 1000 gallon tank of Jergins lotion installed on the roof.
 
2012-04-25 12:48:15 PM

Wittenberg Dropout: Well I guess it's time for them to pull out of Simi.


Awesome.
 
2012-04-25 12:49:27 PM
Porn with condoms is like watching a cooking show where all the ingredients are those decorative plastic grapes.
 
2012-04-25 12:49:55 PM

Trance750: If you don't want to watch it, then don't watch it. It's not as if you're being forced to watch porn against your will


Tell that to the poor new guy who has to sit through the fetish ones like BBW-ATM-BBQ: Fark party boogaloo.
 
2012-04-25 12:50:59 PM
So much for the burgeoning American bukkake industry
 
2012-04-25 12:52:37 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: Porn with condoms is like watching a cooking show where all the ingredients are those decorative plastic grapes.


Excellent analogy.
 
2012-04-25 12:53:29 PM
Don't need condoms if she swallows.

/just sayin'
 
2012-04-25 12:53:36 PM
Wheres the pic of Quagmire?


/leaving disappointed.
 
2012-04-25 12:53:43 PM
The precinct's bathroom will be a popular spot.
 
2012-04-25 12:54:16 PM
They should start making the most reprehensible (sp) porn the world has ever seen on May 1. Flood the police dept. with videos, then later that morning, move out of the state, taking their billion dollar industry with them.
 
2012-04-25 12:54:42 PM
Don't you think they are being a bit HARD ON the industry?

/Wasted four seconds of your life.
 
2012-04-25 12:55:08 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: Porn with condoms is like watching a cooking show where all the ingredients are those decorative plastic grapes.


Because it's all so real, otherwise.
 
2012-04-25 12:56:15 PM
So can't they just pretend it was filmed somewhere else and film there anyway? Are they going to start requiring title cards at the start saying "Filmed outside Simi Valley, documentation on file with Lieberman Accounting"? Are the cops going to cruise around looking for anything that might be a porn shoot?

/Can I be a cop?
 
2012-04-25 12:56:57 PM

rikkitikkitavi: The more you eat the more you fart: Porn with condoms is like watching a cooking show where all the ingredients are those decorative plastic grapes.

Because it's all so real, otherwise.

Feels

real.
 
2012-04-25 12:56:57 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: Porn with condoms is like watching a cooking show where all the ingredients are those decorative plastic grapes.


It's like Superman wearing a crash helmet and a parachute (just in case). Yes, it may kinda/sorta teach some sort of responsibility to the kiddies. But we're already suspending our disbelief to the point of allowing a man to fly and lift tanks...or have sex with 2 gorgeous women for just bringing a pizza to the door. We're well aware that we're in the realm of fantasy here.
 
2012-04-25 12:57:41 PM
upload.wikimedia.orgfruittart.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-04-25 12:57:49 PM
what's the over/under on the rise of PD disabilty claims due to carpal tunnel issues?
 
2012-04-25 12:59:28 PM

kid_icarus: ...or have sex with 2 gorgeous women for just bringing a pizza to the door. We're well aware that we're in the realm of fantasy here.



Yeah, because in real life, the women wouldn't have implants. lol
 
2012-04-25 01:01:05 PM

tomWright: what's the over/under on the rise of PD disabilty claims due to carpal tunnel issues?


My money's on friction burns.
 
2012-04-25 01:01:27 PM

meanmutton: Worker safety.


There would be an exemption for real life couples then.

And someone please what's the legal definition of "must use condoms at all times"? I have so many questions regarding this.

Oh and btw, if the pron industry smarts up, Simi Valley could become the lesbian pron production paradise.
 
2012-04-25 01:01:36 PM

Quaker: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x300][fruittart.files.wordpress.com image 400x300]


BRILLIANT!!! I actually LOL'd....in the middle of my physiology 214 class lol.
 
2012-04-25 01:03:20 PM

Endive Wombat: This is strange. There has to be more to the story here. There are really only few reasons I can come up with as to why a city/town would make it difficult to film an adult movie:


Morality.

America learned its lesson from Prohibition: You can't legislate morality outright, so instead you marginalize it over time, ultimately weighing it down in so many regulations, loopholes, and policy compliances that it becomes incapable of existing as a profit entity and snuffs itself out. It works like this: First, manufacture a non-existant problem (or claim that a problem which before may have been a fringe occurance at best is now a major epidemic) that necessitates government oversight to control and maintain. It's called the Deviancy Amplification Spiral.

Once a few seeds have been planted in the media, claim that the only way to clean it up is to demand control, oversight, regulations, forms, databases, identifications, and tracking aparatus' of every person, place and thing not bolted down that has any less than three degrees association with the industry or its products, right down to the consumer. Pass a law to make this so. The beauty of this law is that if you don't vote for it, that makes you an immoral heathen of whatever they're trying to stop.

Eventually the porn industry grinds to a halt because it can't keep up with the exhorbitant licenses, fees, permits, and compliance costs that fund this monstrous bureacratic paper trail. And the tragic thing is, after all the show trials, the arrests, the purges, the registrations, the legislations, the court hearings, and government SNAFUs, not a single dent was made in curtailing the issue in question.

The Republicans are currently using this technique on their War on Women.
 
2012-04-25 01:03:47 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: kid_icarus: ...or have sex with 2 gorgeous women for just bringing a pizza to the door. We're well aware that we're in the realm of fantasy here.


Yeah, because in real life, the women wouldn't have implants. lol


...and the pizza boy would still have to get some sort of payment for the pizza.

/and likely couldn't afford to cover the cost for it himself
 
2012-04-25 01:04:12 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: Quaker: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x300][fruittart.files.wordpress.com image 400x300]

BRILLIANT!!! I actually LOL'd....in the middle of my physiology 214 class lol.


you're paying thousands of dollars for college and you're reading fark in class?

Jesus.
 
2012-04-25 01:05:19 PM

kid_icarus: The more you eat the more you fart: kid_icarus: ...or have sex with 2 gorgeous women for just bringing a pizza to the door. We're well aware that we're in the realm of fantasy here.


Yeah, because in real life, the women wouldn't have implants. lol

...and the pizza boy would still have to get some sort of payment for the pizza.

/and likely couldn't afford to cover the cost for it himself


Nah, he would threaten to blow up the pizza joint over a $14 pizza.
 
2012-04-25 01:05:44 PM
After all that porn, they will be tumescent.
 
2012-04-25 01:05:47 PM

Quaker: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x300][fruittart.files.wordpress.com image 400x300]


Shame, isn't it?
 
2012-04-25 01:06:53 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: Porn with condoms is like watching a cooking show where all the ingredients are those decorative plastic grapes.


I can't imagine why anybody would want to watch male-female porn. As much as I love porn I've never gotten anything out of watching some doofus who looks like the intersection of 40 year old frat bro and tattooed recent parolee plow a dead-eyed meth addict in what appear to be the most uncomfortable positions humanly possible.

Some of the online stuff is worlds better (e.g. X-art), but my honest opinion is that mainstream porn producers mostly just do a damned good job of making their product unappealing.

/Groupings of ladies are still awesome though.
 
2012-04-25 01:06:56 PM

Slam Dunkz: The more you eat the more you fart: Quaker: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x300][fruittart.files.wordpress.com image 400x300]

BRILLIANT!!! I actually LOL'd....in the middle of my physiology 214 class lol.

you're paying thousands of dollars for college and you're reading fark in class?

Jesus.


Yep. my 4.1 GPA says I can afford to. Plus, i'm paying for it myself, no loans, no grants.
 
2012-04-25 01:09:30 PM

likefunbutnot: The more you eat the more you fart: Porn with condoms is like watching a cooking show where all the ingredients are those decorative plastic grapes.

I can't imagine why anybody would want to watch male-female porn. As much as I love porn I've never gotten anything out of watching some doofus who looks like the intersection of 40 year old frat bro and tattooed recent parolee plow a dead-eyed meth addict in what appear to be the most uncomfortable positions humanly possible.

Some of the online stuff is worlds better (e.g. X-art), but my honest opinion is that mainstream porn producers mostly just do a damned good job of making their product unappealing.

/Groupings of ladies are still awesome though.


You have obviously never seen Alexis Silver naked...or Tera Patrick.
 
2012-04-25 01:11:01 PM
In other news, the Adult Movie industry moves to the next county over.....


- Reads TFA- Yup. Bottom of the article. Huh. go figure.
 
2012-04-25 01:11:11 PM
Will the cop cars display To Service and Protect?
 
2012-04-25 01:12:00 PM
What the fark is a condom?
 
Displayed 50 of 136 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report