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(Click Orlando)   The funniest and worst "Glamour shots" you'll ever see   (clickorlando.com) divider line 122
    More: Fail, glamour  
•       •       •

39269 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2012 at 10:06 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-04-24 10:24:36 AM  
60 votes:
Oh wow, people hating on Glamour Shots... Back in the early 1980s, I bought a franchise and opened a store at a mall in Richland Hills, just outside of Dallas. I was in my early twenties, but I'd been taking photographs my entire life. For all the people that hate on it, you have to understand just how farking hideous these people are when they walk into the store. Typically, it's a middle aged woman whose trying to take a "sexy" shot for her boyfriend, but not so sexy that it will get confiscated by the prison guards who monitor the mall. So it's my job to make this humongous, flabby white woman look good enough for Paco to jack to while he's doing a five year minimum for the statutory rape of the woman's daughter. Hey, I consider myself an artist, up to any challenge, but you have to understand -- the Sistine Chapel was already pretty damn beautiful before Michelangelo started on it.

Forget the size of them, these woman were so ugly that I'd wake up at night, screaming, covered in sweat, and punching myself in my own cock. I had to basically build them a new head using clown make-up, hairspray, and Satanic prayer. I'll probably go to hell for it. The only way I could tell if I'd done a reasonable job is to have the woman look in the mirror to see if it'd shatter. I was unable to masturbate to orgasm my entire tenure there.

So please, do not hate Glamour Shots itself. It was a reasonable idea that preyed on people's vanity. I closed shop, though, when this particularly hideous walrus took off her robe and asked for some tasteful nudes. Her nipples... my God... her nipples...
2012-04-24 10:19:50 AM  
20 votes:
www.clickorlando.com
See that? The ENTIRE kielbasa.
2012-04-24 09:17:19 AM  
12 votes:
See you in ten years, erection.
2012-04-24 10:09:57 AM  
11 votes:
www.clickorlando.com
I have a bleached asshole.
2012-04-24 10:58:27 AM  
10 votes:
i232.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 10:21:54 AM  
10 votes:
www.clickorlando.com

t1.gstatic.com
2012-04-24 01:10:20 PM  
7 votes:
i881.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 11:22:55 AM  
7 votes:
i232.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 10:16:00 AM  
7 votes:
My sister had one of these photos taken and gave a framed copy to my father for Christmas. He unwrapped the present and looked at it and told her "Nice frame, would have been better if you'd put a picture of yourself in it." I told him "Dad, look at the photo reeeeeal close." . He looked at it for a while and finally responded with "Oh."
2012-04-24 10:14:39 AM  
7 votes:
Before
images.wildammo.com
After
www.clickorlando.com
2012-04-24 12:54:30 PM  
6 votes:

Andrew Wiggin:

you sound like a nickelback fan.


That reminds me. Last night I found the most offensive photo on the internet.

i881.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 11:53:48 AM  
6 votes:
ts4.mm.bing.net

My hair is a bird. Your argument is invalid.
2012-04-24 11:11:32 AM  
6 votes:
i39.tinypic.com
2012-04-24 11:04:56 AM  
6 votes:
i232.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 12:30:10 PM  
5 votes:
27.media.tumblr.com

don't expect the boobie fairy any time soon, young one
2012-04-24 12:10:03 PM  
5 votes:
www.clickorlando.com

"How long will you be staying on Mars?"
"Two weeks"
2012-04-24 01:14:39 PM  
4 votes:
Looks like Will Farrell and The Greatest American Hero had a kid. And peed on it.

i881.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 10:49:25 AM  
4 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com

i gave my love a cherry that had no stone
2012-04-24 10:30:21 AM  
4 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2012-04-24 10:28:59 AM  
4 votes:
Not a glamour shot, but very awesome
i232.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 10:26:37 AM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.com

Yo Dawg, we heard you like afros...
2012-04-24 10:22:22 AM  
4 votes:

Coffee Snob: I'm sure you're all gorgeous.

I have an idea! Let's take shiatty pictures of you from when you were younger and plaster them on the internet for basement dwelling pud whackers to gawk at and mock.

I know, welcome to Fark and all that other bullshiat.


Look! We found one of the people in those photos!
2012-04-24 10:16:28 AM  
4 votes:
My first thought was "did we really kill the ozone layer for this!?"
2012-04-24 11:34:06 AM  
3 votes:
www.maggiejeans.com

There are no words.
2012-04-24 11:29:21 AM  
3 votes:
t2.gstatic.com
She'll have the peanut butter sandwich.



Also, bite down on this antenna lead. I need to watch the hockey game on channel 12.
2012-04-24 11:20:25 AM  
3 votes:
"When I watch porn, I cum when the guy delievers the pizza."

i.imgur.com
2012-04-24 11:20:14 AM  
3 votes:
i41.tinypic.com
2012-04-24 11:18:38 AM  
3 votes:
theoriginalwinger.com
2012-04-24 11:14:00 AM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com

Winner winner, don't eat my chicken dinner.
2012-04-24 11:07:56 AM  
3 votes:

CrispFlows: I'll use a different one. The one I was going to use is way too big and I'm too lazy to shrink it up.

[thecount.com image 202x203]



Had to do it...
i.imgur.com
2012-04-24 11:01:42 AM  
3 votes:
I'll use a different one. The one I was going to use is way too big and I'm too lazy to shrink it up.

thecount.com
2012-04-24 11:01:26 AM  
3 votes:
www.thestranger.com

Not sure what's going on here.
2012-04-24 11:00:02 AM  
3 votes:
i232.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 10:32:28 AM  
3 votes:
I didn't throw up a little in my mouth. I spewed chunks all over the keyboard and my cat.

cdn.smosh.com


And with that I'm off the the kitchen to get an ice pick to gouge out my eyes.
2012-04-24 10:32:20 AM  
3 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2012-04-24 10:29:31 AM  
3 votes:
That reminded me of this old gem:

Fat Chicks in Party Hats
2012-04-24 10:17:59 AM  
3 votes:
My sister got Glamour Shots done once. My grandmother took one look at her favorite and said, "Katy, you look like a biatch!"

It was AWESOME!
2012-04-24 10:16:54 AM  
3 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

And here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season's fashion.
2012-04-24 10:12:40 AM  
3 votes:
I always liked the idea of Glamour Shots, but the poses and clothing and makeup were always so bloody awful...

What was with the clutching the collar pose?!

When drag queens say "Holy shiat that's campy," it's time to close up shop.
2012-04-24 05:49:12 PM  
2 votes:
My sister died at an untimely age. So it fell to us, her siblings, to go through her apartment to see whether she had left any instructions on how to distribute her various worldly possessions. We spent a long time in her "office," where she didn't have so much a filing system as a stuffing system. We also pulled out all the drawers in the kitchen and the cabinetry in her living room. Spent several hours going through various folders and envelopes.

Then I decided to tackle the bedroom and the walk-in closet. Oh, Lord, the bedroom!

I reached around the doorframe and flipped the light switch, then walked through the door and headed straight for the closet. My sister (the one who was still alive, not the one who passed on) said something I didn't catch, and I turned around to ask her to repeat herself. That's when I saw it.

An oil painting. Golden-rectangle shaped, of course, and at least 4 feet high, maybe more. A very well-painted work of art, it was the very image of my dear departed sister...

...wearing only the very suit of clothes the good Lord done give her on her birthday.

She wasn't half bad. For a sister, I mean. Jus' sayin'.

The sibs and I looked at it for a while, then someone asked, "What are we going to do with that?" None of us were particularly eager to hang it in our living rooms. We briefly discussed giving it to Mom and Dad, that got some laughs. Finally decided to give it to the artist who actually painted it. Maybe she could use it as a portfolio piece, or maybe she could paint someone else's face on it. Or a dang swimsuit or something, yo.
2012-04-24 04:47:43 PM  
2 votes:
"We have such sights to show you. "

rocketdock.com

3.bp.blogspot.com
2012-04-24 03:22:46 PM  
2 votes:

Sybarite: Max Awesome: We had a family photo taken in the 80s. Not a glamour shot exactly, but my Mom was so goddam intense about it that I knew it was something that was going to be displayed on the wall for the rest of our lives. It was THAT IMPORTANT...

Oh great, I'd just gotten done looking at terrible glamor shots, and now you've got me looking at awful family portraits. Fine, I guess I just won't get anything done today.

[www.teamjimmyjoe.com image 600x708]


WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT DOG??
2012-04-24 02:23:24 PM  
2 votes:

Mugato: Looks like Will Farrell and The Greatest American Hero had a kid. And peed on it.

[i881.photobucket.com image 314x400]


OMG! I'm dying here...and the cats are cowering in terror from the braying.
2012-04-24 01:07:04 PM  
2 votes:

kiwimoogle84:

What is "Things Everyone Hates Except For Idiots", Alex.


Wearing those in public would make for some interesting reactions.

i881.photobucket.com

"I must go. My planet needs me."

/ excellent work as always, spentmiles
2012-04-24 12:49:00 PM  
2 votes:
Aw, I can't bring myself to mock these people. I think I'm getting soft.

i253.photobucket.com

Maybe it's a kindred spirit thing.
2012-04-24 11:46:08 AM  
2 votes:
Had Glamour Shot taken for Richard Gere.

cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com
2012-04-24 11:12:21 AM  
2 votes:

Krymson Tyde:


Back! Back, or I'll release the gunt!
2012-04-24 11:12:17 AM  
2 votes:

Krymson Tyde: [i232.photobucket.com image 300x450]


I am now thinking about the sound two pieces of styrofoam make when you rub them together.
2012-04-24 10:56:01 AM  
2 votes:
Oh good, it's the daily "women over 40 and/or who don't look like models OFFEND ME BY THEIR VERY EXISTENCE" thread.

/I sound ugly.
//Don't worry, I never leave my condo so as to prevent spontaneous vomiting in the streets. You're all safe for now!
///be nice to me or I'll post a picture, and NO ONE wants that.
2012-04-24 10:51:57 AM  
2 votes:
26.media.tumblr.com

really?
2012-04-24 10:50:21 AM  
2 votes:

sandi_fish: Andrew Wiggin: sandi_fish: I have the #3. I am so ashamed right now.

you still have it?

It is at my parent's house, on the wall. (Kicks self for telling you guys).


bwahahaha that is awesome! next time i visit your mom i'll look for it.
2012-04-24 10:38:52 AM  
2 votes:

spentmiles: Oh wow, people hating on Glamour Shots... Back in the early 1980s, I bought a franchise and opened a store at a mall in Richland Hills, just outside of Dallas. I was in my early twenties, but I'd been taking photographs my entire life. For all the people that hate on it, you have to understand just how farking hideous these people are when they walk into the store. Typically, it's a middle aged woman whose trying to take a "sexy" shot for her boyfriend, but not so sexy that it will get confiscated by the prison guards who monitor the mall. So it's my job to make this humongous, flabby white woman look good enough for Paco to jack to while he's doing a five year minimum for the statutory rape of the woman's daughter. Hey, I consider myself an artist, up to any challenge, but you have to understand -- the Sistine Chapel was already pretty damn beautiful before Michelangelo started on it.

Forget the size of them, these woman were so ugly that I'd wake up at night, screaming, covered in sweat, and punching myself in my own cock. I had to basically build them a new head using clown make-up, hairspray, and Satanic prayer. I'll probably go to hell for it. The only way I could tell if I'd done a reasonable job is to have the woman look in the mirror to see if it'd shatter. I was unable to masturbate to orgasm my entire tenure there.

So please, do not hate Glamour Shots itself. It was a reasonable idea that preyed on people's vanity. I closed shop, though, when this particularly hideous walrus took off her robe and asked for some tasteful nudes. Her nipples... my God... her nipples...


I think I man-love you...and you owe me a new keyboard
2012-04-24 10:32:31 AM  
2 votes:

Tyrosine: That reminded me of this old gem:

Fat Chicks in Party Hats


Thanks for reminding me of the internet's golden age.
2012-04-24 10:25:17 AM  
2 votes:
i232.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 10:24:36 AM  
2 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: [www.clickorlando.com image 275x360]

Most of those made me sad, but this one got a good laugh out of me


Do NOT accept an apple form this woman!
2012-04-24 10:22:52 AM  
2 votes:
worst childhood memory: finding my mom's glamour shots.

/fetal position
2012-04-24 10:19:59 AM  
2 votes:
I'm sure you're all gorgeous.

I have an idea! Let's take shiatty pictures of you from when you were younger and plaster them on the internet for basement dwelling pud whackers to gawk at and mock.

I know, welcome to Fark and all that other bullshiat.
2012-04-24 10:17:20 AM  
2 votes:
Missing:

asktheebayqueen.com

/Hot. Like Deb.
//Your mom goes to college...
2012-04-24 08:04:17 PM  
1 votes:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 07:00:13 PM  
1 votes:

Sybarite:

Oh great, I'd just gotten done looking at terrible glamor shots, and now you've got me looking at awful family portraits. Fine, I guess I just won't get anything done today.

[www.teamjimmyjoe.com image 600x708]


LOL! Thank god I left to do some work, or else I'd be spending all day checking those out - I haven't been to Awkward Family Photos in awhile.

This is epic:

i42.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 06:14:53 PM  
1 votes:
sorry guys, I've worked at several copying shops, and while these are truly horrifying to behold, the ones that stay in my memory are the ones that we weren't allowed to scan/copy/reproduce due to copyright violation. And THANK GOD FOR THAT!! The woman who was losing most of her hair, and leaning forward suggestively. The woman with 3 teeth left. Smiling. In lingere. Most of you don't know the horrors that have been visited upon the copy-guy behind the counter.

/on the plus side, I've seen things from women on the other side of the scale you wouldn't believe. :)
2012-04-24 05:48:00 PM  
1 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com

don, maybe
dawn, i don't think so
2012-04-24 04:58:52 PM  
1 votes:

Mugato: "We have such sights to show you. "


Yes, no, yes with booze, yes, yes
2012-04-24 04:57:39 PM  
1 votes:
"How's it goin'? I just clipped a car battery to my testicles!"

4.bp.blogspot.com
2012-04-24 04:46:29 PM  
1 votes:

AmberDempsey: kiwimoogle84: alwaysjaded: kiwimoogle84:

Just...why...

HOLY HELL!! That website is full of lulz...

You've never played on awkward family photos??? Go deep. It's BAD.

Here's another good site for bad photos:
Sexy People (SFW, despite the name)


That is EXCELLENT.

I need to find a picture of my dad circa 1978. He had a biatchin' porn 'stache.
2012-04-24 04:41:06 PM  
1 votes:
i232.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 03:32:27 PM  
1 votes:
shechive.files.wordpress.com
I am a tranny. Your point is invalid.
2012-04-24 03:24:21 PM  
1 votes:

Sybarite: Max Awesome: We had a family photo taken in the 80s. Not a glamour shot exactly, but my Mom was so goddam intense about it that I knew it was something that was going to be displayed on the wall for the rest of our lives. It was THAT IMPORTANT...

Oh great, I'd just gotten done looking at terrible glamor shots, and now you've got me looking at awful family portraits. Fine, I guess I just won't get anything done today.

[www.teamjimmyjoe.com image 600x708]


"Daaaad! Can't you stop that long enough to take a freakin' picture?"
2012-04-24 03:14:18 PM  
1 votes:

Max Awesome: We had a family photo taken in the 80s. Not a glamour shot exactly, but my Mom was so goddam intense about it that I knew it was something that was going to be displayed on the wall for the rest of our lives. It was THAT IMPORTANT...


Oh great, I'd just gotten done looking at terrible glamor shots, and now you've got me looking at awful family portraits. Fine, I guess I just won't get anything done today.

www.teamjimmyjoe.com
2012-04-24 03:06:14 PM  
1 votes:

Krymson Tyde: [i232.photobucket.com image 300x449]


WTF is that??

It's as if Jason Statham came out of the closet.
2012-04-24 02:24:44 PM  
1 votes:

silvervial: Mugato: Looks like Will Farrell and The Greatest American Hero had a kid. And peed on it.

[i881.photobucket.com image 314x400]

OMG! I'm dying here...and the cats are cowering in terror from the braying.


You sound like you'd be fun at parties.
2012-04-24 02:06:43 PM  
1 votes:

UtileDysfunktion: [ts4.mm.bing.net image 207x278]

My hair is a bird. Your argument is invalid.


A bird? It's a farking weathervane!
2012-04-24 02:02:07 PM  
1 votes:
The GF has a Glamour Shot of herself, but has the good sense to not publicly display it. When she showed it to me, I felt that our relationship had reached a new level of trust.
2012-04-24 01:57:09 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-04-24 01:13:13 PM  
1 votes:

Mad Scientist: [www.justsaypictures.com image 640x634]


i281.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 12:51:51 PM  
1 votes:

brap: I think I'm getting soft.


me too, after seeing those pics.
2012-04-24 12:39:44 PM  
1 votes:

Andrew Wiggin: the one on the left looks like a certain attention whore farkette.


I disagree, unless you know someone I don't...
2012-04-24 12:25:54 PM  
1 votes:

Andrew Wiggin: [30.media.tumblr.com image 280x400]

not a glamour shot but...


i312.photobucket.com
2012-04-24 12:16:15 PM  
1 votes:

Andrew Wiggin: bluehubcap: Those hollow-eyed little girls remind me of these dolls:

[i644.photobucket.com image 375x500]

Had one when I was a little girl

the one on the right reminds me of sasha grey. minus the penis in her butt of course.


Of course
2012-04-24 12:05:01 PM  
1 votes:
Make it quick, I need to charge my cell phone, and shave my chest and stomach.

www.holidaymatinee.com
2012-04-24 12:01:40 PM  
1 votes:

Dead for Tax Reasons: I think this style is going to be the 'olde tymey wild west' photos of the future

'Let's all dress up like great great grammy would have back in the 1980's'


I have a picture of my mother from 1985 with the epic 80's fro hair, wearing a white dress with TEAL COW SPOTS. I laugh at it every time.

She loves to protest that she was hip back in the day. She was in a band and everything.

/you'll never catch me DEAD in a real cow spot dress
2012-04-24 11:48:38 AM  
1 votes:
i39.tinypic.com
2012-04-24 11:42:11 AM  
1 votes:
What's the prep time on some of these??!!
ts4.mm.bing.net

ts1.mm.bing.net

ts3.mm.bing.net

ts1.mm.bing.net
2012-04-24 11:35:08 AM  
1 votes:
The good news is that the majority of these flesh boulders are probably long dead from heart disease, or at least rendered unable to venture into public due to their 'beetus amputations.
2012-04-24 11:23:29 AM  
1 votes:
29.media.tumblr.com
2012-04-24 11:22:36 AM  
1 votes:
cdn2.mamapop.com

images.wikia.com
2012-04-24 11:18:03 AM  
1 votes:

Balchinian: Krymson Tyde: [i232.photobucket.com image 300x450]

I am now thinking about the sound two pieces of styrofoam make when you rub them together.


I always wonder how two people like that have sex. Unless he has a super long manbit, I just can't wrap my head around the physics.

Or the reason.
2012-04-24 11:14:59 AM  
1 votes:
Holy HELL?!

cdn2.mamapop.com
2012-04-24 11:13:26 AM  
1 votes:

Grables'Daughter: Andrew Wiggin: Grables'Daughter: Isn't the entire idea of that business to prey on unattractive people who want to have a sexy photo of themselves?

yes. where are yours?

Buried in the back yard.


Along with the ex who talked you into getting them done?
2012-04-24 11:13:26 AM  
1 votes:
Krymson Tyde:

i232.photobucket.com

Mrs. Doubtfire; The Early Years.
2012-04-24 11:13:03 AM  
1 votes:

sandi_fish: Andrew Wiggin: sandi_fish: Andrew Wiggin: sandi_fish: I have the #3. I am so ashamed right now.

you still have it?

It is at my parent's house, on the wall. (Kicks self for telling you guys).

bwahahaha that is awesome! next time i visit your mom i'll look for it.

I didn't know she was still babysitting!


vestiwiki.yabd.org
2012-04-24 11:09:35 AM  
1 votes:
100tinysparks.files.wordpress.com
2012-04-24 11:08:27 AM  
1 votes:

Andrew Wiggin: you sound like a nickelback fan.


Oh, sure.. THIS is how you remind me of what I really am :(
2012-04-24 11:07:36 AM  
1 votes:

Krymson Tyde: i232.photobucket.com


DAFUQ?
2012-04-24 11:05:48 AM  
1 votes:

swahnhennessy: I'd like to take this moment to assure our younger Farkers that their they're were attractive women in the 80's, despite what the link may seem to prove.


ftfy

/sorry, pet peeve
2012-04-24 10:59:16 AM  
1 votes:

spentmiles: Oh wow, people hating on Glamour Shots... Back in the early 1980s, I bought a franchise and opened a store at a mall in Richland Hills, just outside of Dallas. I was in my early twenties, but I'd been taking photographs my entire life. For all the people that hate on it, you have to understand just how farking hideous these people are when they walk into the store. Typically, it's a middle aged woman whose trying to take a "sexy" shot for her boyfriend, but not so sexy that it will get confiscated by the prison guards who monitor the mall. So it's my job to make this humongous, flabby white woman look good enough for Paco to jack to while he's doing a five year minimum for the statutory rape of the woman's daughter. Hey, I consider myself an artist, up to any challenge, but you have to understand -- the Sistine Chapel was already pretty damn beautiful before Michelangelo started on it.

Forget the size of them, these woman were so ugly that I'd wake up at night, screaming, covered in sweat, and punching myself in my own cock. I had to basically build them a new head using clown make-up, hairspray, and Satanic prayer. I'll probably go to hell for it. The only way I could tell if I'd done a reasonable job is to have the woman look in the mirror to see if it'd shatter. I was unable to masturbate to orgasm my entire tenure there.

So please, do not hate Glamour Shots itself. It was a reasonable idea that preyed on people's vanity. I closed shop, though, when this particularly hideous walrus took off her robe and asked for some tasteful nudes. Her nipples... my God... her nipples...


Holy shiat! Are you Pocket Ninja's protogé? Because that had me giggling for a good minute.

Keep up the good work.
2012-04-24 10:53:03 AM  
1 votes:

Sgt Oddball: Invisible money shot:

[img805.imageshack.us image 268x360]


And the double down.

4.bp.blogspot.com
2012-04-24 10:50:03 AM  
1 votes:
Everybody just back off! I'll do it... I swear!!!

www.clickorlando.com
2012-04-24 10:48:25 AM  
1 votes:
I'll say it before and I'll say it again:

You can't polish a turd.
2012-04-24 10:44:16 AM  
1 votes:

Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.


I see what you did there!

cdn.smosh.com
2012-04-24 10:43:42 AM  
1 votes:
christ they're all fat and i'm scared as hell now and i want to cry
2012-04-24 10:43:23 AM  
1 votes:

bluehubcap: I'm assuming that the point of glamour shots was to make a woman look glamorous. WTF did these women look like when they weren't all painted up and hanging onto their collars like they were life preservers?


media.tumblr.com

i had this one taken just for you.
2012-04-24 10:43:01 AM  
1 votes:

Andrew Wiggin: [25.media.tumblr.com image 496x452]


While the guy is goofy, that is, however, one photogenic cat.
2012-04-24 10:42:53 AM  
1 votes:

Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.


Hmmm. I'm stumped by your statement. You're not new to Fark...
2012-04-24 10:42:52 AM  
1 votes:
That slide show gave me a better insight into humanity. I had always wondered at people stopping to gawk at a horrific car crash. But there I was clicking my way through that slide show, looking at one sad, devastating wreck after another. Over and over again looking at things I did not want to see or worse remember.
2012-04-24 10:41:28 AM  
1 votes:
oi44.tinypic.com

/sorry if this is you
2012-04-24 10:40:18 AM  
1 votes:
The Mother:
www.clickorlando.com

The Daughter:
www.clickorlando.com

The Other Daughter. Disowned. In Jail.
www.clickorlando.com
2012-04-24 10:39:33 AM  
1 votes:
Invisible money shot:

img805.imageshack.us
2012-04-24 10:33:50 AM  
1 votes:
Ha ha! People used to have a different sense of fashion!
2012-04-24 10:32:33 AM  
1 votes:
When you are a professional photog trying to make a living, you don't get to choose WHO your taking a picture of.

You just have to try to take the best picture of that ugly, fat cow that you can. And hope they pay you for it.
2012-04-24 10:29:38 AM  
1 votes:
These are either Glamor Shots taken in the late 80's or from a Glamor Shots studio in Texas last week.
2012-04-24 10:29:33 AM  
1 votes:

Balchinian: [i.imgur.com image 388x520]

Yo Dawg, we heard you like afros...


i loved watching him paint.
2012-04-24 10:28:48 AM  
1 votes:

AmazinTim: I have a bleached asshole.


Nancy Grace has her turd cutter bleached !?
2012-04-24 10:28:07 AM  
1 votes:

spentmiles: Oh wow, people hating on Glamour Shots... Back in the early 1980s, I bought a franchise and opened a store at a mall in Richland Hills, just outside of Dallas. I was in my early twenties, but I'd been taking photographs my entire life. For all the people that hate on it, you have to understand just how farking hideous these people are when they walk into the store. Typically, it's a middle aged woman whose trying to take a "sexy" shot for her boyfriend, but not so sexy that it will get confiscated by the prison guards who monitor the mall. So it's my job to make this humongous, flabby white woman look good enough for Paco to jack to while he's doing a five year minimum for the statutory rape of the woman's daughter. Hey, I consider myself an artist, up to any challenge, but you have to understand -- the Sistine Chapel was already pretty damn beautiful before Michelangelo started on it.

Forget the size of them, these woman were so ugly that I'd wake up at night, screaming, covered in sweat, and punching myself in my own cock. I had to basically build them a new head using clown make-up, hairspray, and Satanic prayer. I'll probably go to hell for it. The only way I could tell if I'd done a reasonable job is to have the woman look in the mirror to see if it'd shatter. I was unable to masturbate to orgasm my entire tenure there.

So please, do not hate Glamour Shots itself. It was a reasonable idea that preyed on people's vanity. I closed shop, though, when this particularly hideous walrus took off her robe and asked for some tasteful nudes. Her nipples... my God... her nipples...


Hm...not up to your usual level, spent.
2012-04-24 10:26:47 AM  
1 votes:
Your mom goes to college.
2012-04-24 10:25:20 AM  
1 votes:
Isn't the entire idea of that business to prey on unattractive people who want to have a sexy photo of themselves?
2012-04-24 10:24:33 AM  
1 votes:

UtileDysfunktion: My sister had one of these photos taken and gave a framed copy to my father for Christmas. He unwrapped the present and looked at it and told her "Nice frame, would have been better if you'd put a picture of yourself in it." I told him "Dad, look at the photo reeeeeal close." . He looked at it for a while and finally responded with "Oh."


Never understood the "giving a glamour shot of myself as a gift to someone I'm not romanatically involved with" thing. Got one one year from a girl I was close friends with (long after she'd made it clear that was all we'd ever be) and I was very much "gee, thanks, I guess..."
2012-04-24 10:24:14 AM  
1 votes:

maxximillian: I stopped at the hand cuffs.

/Then I threw up a little in my mouth


That was my reaction as well.
2012-04-24 10:21:34 AM  
1 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: [www.clickorlando.com image 275x360]

Most of those made me sad, but this one got a good laugh out of me


She has that smug look of having just loaded Batman & Robin into an overly elaborate death trap.
2012-04-24 10:12:53 AM  
1 votes:
It doesn't help that most of the fashions are from the Unfortunate 80s, and most of the women are homelier than a bag full of assholes.
2012-04-24 10:09:52 AM  
1 votes:
I stopped at the hand cuffs.

/Then I threw up a little in my mouth
2012-04-24 09:49:09 AM  
1 votes:
I used to work at Glamour Shots back then. It really was as ridiculous as those photos look.
 
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