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(Click Orlando)   The funniest and worst "Glamour shots" you'll ever see   (clickorlando.com ) divider line 391
    More: Fail, glamour  
•       •       •

39353 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2012 at 10:06 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



391 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-04-24 10:50:03 AM  
Everybody just back off! I'll do it... I swear!!!

www.clickorlando.com
 
2012-04-24 10:50:21 AM  

sandi_fish: Andrew Wiggin: sandi_fish: I have the #3. I am so ashamed right now.

you still have it?

It is at my parent's house, on the wall. (Kicks self for telling you guys).


bwahahaha that is awesome! next time i visit your mom i'll look for it.
 
2012-04-24 10:50:22 AM  

SonOfSpam: Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.

Troll-like typing detected.

/and Fark handle


(plays the theme to Jaws in the background dum dum dum dum dum dum)
 
2012-04-24 10:51:10 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x669]

i gave my love a cherry that had no stone


I would not want you showing up at my garage sale. I'd probably end up owing you money!
 
2012-04-24 10:51:35 AM  

bluehubcap: I'm assuming that the point of glamour shots was to make a woman look glamorous. WTF did these women look like when they weren't all painted up and hanging onto their collars like they were life preservers?


They might be less ugly if they didn't try these, like maybe even normal. Along the lines of if you have a weird forehead just don't show it. In their case it would be like if they just blend in it would be better.
 
2012-04-24 10:51:57 AM  
26.media.tumblr.com

really?
 
2012-04-24 10:53:03 AM  

Sgt Oddball: Invisible money shot:

[img805.imageshack.us image 268x360]


And the double down.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-24 10:53:14 AM  

number_man: I'll say it before and I'll say it again:

You can't polish a turd.


Actually, you can.
 
2012-04-24 10:53:39 AM  

Terrydatroll: SonOfSpam: Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.

Troll-like typing detected.

/and Fark handle

(plays the theme to Jaws in the background dum dum dum dum dum dum)


Who are you callin' dum?
 
2012-04-24 10:56:01 AM  
Oh good, it's the daily "women over 40 and/or who don't look like models OFFEND ME BY THEIR VERY EXISTENCE" thread.

/I sound ugly.
//Don't worry, I never leave my condo so as to prevent spontaneous vomiting in the streets. You're all safe for now!
///be nice to me or I'll post a picture, and NO ONE wants that.
 
2012-04-24 10:56:14 AM  

brainlordmesomorph: sional photog trying to make a living, you don't get to choose WHO your taking a picture of.

You just have to try to take the best picture of that ugly, fat cow that you can. And hope they pay you for it


I didn't see any pics with the stupid hands on the side of face. I hate that pose so much. Why on earth do photogs think that is a pose? It's unnatural and awkward. I've wanted to strangle people who've requested this during photos? Why?
 
2012-04-24 10:57:17 AM  

SonOfSpam: Terrydatroll: SonOfSpam: Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.

Troll-like typing detected.

/and Fark handle

(plays the theme to Jaws in the background dum dum dum dum dum dum)

Who are you callin' dum?


I KNEW you were going to say that. :-) I tried different spellings but "dum" was the only one that looked right.
 
2012-04-24 10:58:27 AM  
i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-24 10:58:32 AM  
Yeah, my mom and I had them done together back in the early '90s. I was only 11, so after the fourth or fifth layer of foundation I was actually feeling worse about myself.

I'm pretty sure I asked the woman if she needed a spatula or something.
 
2012-04-24 10:58:42 AM  

Krymson Tyde: Not a glamour shot, but very awesome
[i232.photobucket.com image 300x426]


Quaid....start the reactor!
 
2012-04-24 10:58:52 AM  

Queensowntalia: Oh good, it's the daily "women over 40 and/or who don't look like models OFFEND ME BY THEIR VERY EXISTENCE" thread.

/I sound ugly.
//Don't worry, I never leave my condo so as to prevent spontaneous vomiting in the streets. You're all safe for now!
///be nice to me or I'll post a picture, and NO ONE wants that.


you sound like a nickelback fan.
 
2012-04-24 10:59:16 AM  

spentmiles: Oh wow, people hating on Glamour Shots... Back in the early 1980s, I bought a franchise and opened a store at a mall in Richland Hills, just outside of Dallas. I was in my early twenties, but I'd been taking photographs my entire life. For all the people that hate on it, you have to understand just how farking hideous these people are when they walk into the store. Typically, it's a middle aged woman whose trying to take a "sexy" shot for her boyfriend, but not so sexy that it will get confiscated by the prison guards who monitor the mall. So it's my job to make this humongous, flabby white woman look good enough for Paco to jack to while he's doing a five year minimum for the statutory rape of the woman's daughter. Hey, I consider myself an artist, up to any challenge, but you have to understand -- the Sistine Chapel was already pretty damn beautiful before Michelangelo started on it.

Forget the size of them, these woman were so ugly that I'd wake up at night, screaming, covered in sweat, and punching myself in my own cock. I had to basically build them a new head using clown make-up, hairspray, and Satanic prayer. I'll probably go to hell for it. The only way I could tell if I'd done a reasonable job is to have the woman look in the mirror to see if it'd shatter. I was unable to masturbate to orgasm my entire tenure there.

So please, do not hate Glamour Shots itself. It was a reasonable idea that preyed on people's vanity. I closed shop, though, when this particularly hideous walrus took off her robe and asked for some tasteful nudes. Her nipples... my God... her nipples...


Holy shiat! Are you Pocket Ninja's protogé? Because that had me giggling for a good minute.

Keep up the good work.
 
2012-04-24 10:59:19 AM  
HA!

I was on the internet today and I found THIS!
 
2012-04-24 10:59:59 AM  

Balchinian: number_man: I'll say it before and I'll say it again:

You can't polish a turd.

Actually, you can.


I stand corrected...and disturbed...and a little disgusted...
 
2012-04-24 11:00:02 AM  
i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-24 11:00:03 AM  
well, fark.
 
2012-04-24 11:00:24 AM  

CrispFlows: HA!

I was on the internet today and I found THIS!


Were you supposed to post a picture there?
 
2012-04-24 11:01:26 AM  
www.thestranger.com

Not sure what's going on here.
 
2012-04-24 11:01:42 AM  
I'll use a different one. The one I was going to use is way too big and I'm too lazy to shrink it up.

thecount.com
 
2012-04-24 11:01:48 AM  

Krymson Tyde: [i232.photobucket.com image 300x449]


what has been seen cannot be unseen
 
2012-04-24 11:02:13 AM  
I'd like to take this moment to assure our younger Farkers that their were attractive women in the 80's, despite what the link may seem to prove.
 
2012-04-24 11:02:23 AM  

Andrew Wiggin:
you sound like a nickelback fan.


That made me snerk
 
2012-04-24 11:04:17 AM  

CrispFlows: I'll use a different one. The one I was going to use is way too big and I'm too lazy to shrink it up.

[thecount.com image 202x203]


She looks very...surprised...like her husband snuck up behind her and accidentally-on-purpose nailed her in the caboose.
 
2012-04-24 11:04:56 AM  
i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-24 11:05:06 AM  
I found a bigger one:

s3-ak.buzzfed.com

This one is amusing:
3.bp.blogspot.com

'How DARE you take a picture of me!'
 
2012-04-24 11:05:48 AM  

swahnhennessy: I'd like to take this moment to assure our younger Farkers that their they're were attractive women in the 80's, despite what the link may seem to prove.


ftfy

/sorry, pet peeve
 
2012-04-24 11:05:52 AM  

Matthew Keene: [www.thestranger.com image 288x412]

Not sure what's going on here.


Ok, I kind of want to be in that one.
 
2012-04-24 11:05:59 AM  

Matthew Keene: [www.thestranger.com image 288x412]

Not sure what's going on here.


Demonstration of chin support technique, which comes in handy if you're going to blow the entire football team.
 
2012-04-24 11:06:17 AM  

Krymson Tyde: [i232.photobucket.com image 300x449]


please tell me that's a shop.
 
2012-04-24 11:06:47 AM  
26.media.tumblr.com

this needs a caption
 
2012-04-24 11:07:36 AM  

Krymson Tyde: i232.photobucket.com


DAFUQ?
 
2012-04-24 11:07:56 AM  

CrispFlows: I'll use a different one. The one I was going to use is way too big and I'm too lazy to shrink it up.

[thecount.com image 202x203]



Had to do it...
i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-24 11:08:27 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: you sound like a nickelback fan.


Oh, sure.. THIS is how you remind me of what I really am :(
 
2012-04-24 11:08:29 AM  

SweetSilverBlues: spentmiles: Oh wow, people hating on Glamour Shots... Back in the early 1980s, I bought a franchise and opened a store at a mall in Richland Hills, just outside of Dallas. I was in my early twenties, but I'd been taking photographs my entire life. For all the people that hate on it, you have to understand just how farking hideous these people are when they walk into the store. Typically, it's a middle aged woman whose trying to take a "sexy" shot for her boyfriend, but not so sexy that it will get confiscated by the prison guards who monitor the mall. So it's my job to make this humongous, flabby white woman look good enough for Paco to jack to while he's doing a five year minimum for the statutory rape of the woman's daughter. Hey, I consider myself an artist, up to any challenge, but you have to understand -- the Sistine Chapel was already pretty damn beautiful before Michelangelo started on it.

Forget the size of them, these woman were so ugly that I'd wake up at night, screaming, covered in sweat, and punching myself in my own cock. I had to basically build them a new head using clown make-up, hairspray, and Satanic prayer. I'll probably go to hell for it. The only way I could tell if I'd done a reasonable job is to have the woman look in the mirror to see if it'd shatter. I was unable to masturbate to orgasm my entire tenure there.

So please, do not hate Glamour Shots itself. It was a reasonable idea that preyed on people's vanity. I closed shop, though, when this particularly hideous walrus took off her robe and asked for some tasteful nudes. Her nipples... my God... her nipples...

Hm...not up to your usual level, spent.


Oh, come on... some of that imagery was great.
 
2012-04-24 11:08:44 AM  

Fart_Machine: [www.clickorlando.com image 250x312]

[t1.gstatic.com image 201x251]


NEWMAN!

I came for this. Not leaving disappointed.
 
2012-04-24 11:08:55 AM  
You can tell from these comments who the school lunchroom bullies and Borat fans are.
 
2012-04-24 11:09:00 AM  
Late for the party. Use to dabble in boudoir and glamour photography back in the 80s. Keeping a straight face was difficult at times. Trying to hide big farking moles was pretty challenging. (was before my photoshop days). Some women were fairly shy about the photos, usually the better looking ones where as the ugly ones thought they were farking ready for Glamour Magazine covers. It was fun. I should pull out the old slides someday for another look.
 
2012-04-24 11:09:34 AM  

number_man: I'll say it before and I'll say it again:

You can't polish a turd.



i.imgur.com


I dunno Mythbusters would disagree. (Click the shiny turd for video)
 
2012-04-24 11:09:35 AM  
100tinysparks.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-04-24 11:09:43 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x669]

i gave my love a cherry that had no stone


Picks up guitar *Smash* , sorry man..
 
2012-04-24 11:09:59 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: swahnhennessy: I'd like to take this moment to assure our younger Farkers that their they're were attractive women in the 80's, despite what the link may seem to prove.

ftfy

/sorry, pet peeve


seriously?

//obvious troll
 
2012-04-24 11:10:00 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: sandi_fish: Andrew Wiggin: sandi_fish: I have the #3. I am so ashamed right now.

you still have it?

It is at my parent's house, on the wall. (Kicks self for telling you guys).

bwahahaha that is awesome! next time i visit your mom i'll look for it.


I didn't know she was still babysitting!
 
2012-04-24 11:10:01 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: [26.media.tumblr.com image 450x587]

this needs a caption


No it doesn't. There are no words.
 
2012-04-24 11:10:04 AM  

Matthew Keene: Not sure what's going on here.


LAZER STARS OF RIGHTEOUS AWESOMENESS!!!!
 
2012-04-24 11:10:12 AM  

CrispFlows: 'How DARE you take a picture of me!'


Jeesus Christ! Where did you find a picture of my wife!
 
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