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(Click Orlando)   The funniest and worst "Glamour shots" you'll ever see   (clickorlando.com) divider line 394
    More: Fail, glamour  
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39235 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2012 at 10:06 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-24 10:27:01 AM  

Grables'Daughter: Isn't the entire idea of that business to prey on unattractive people who want to have a sexy photo of themselves?


yes. where are yours?
 
2012-04-24 10:27:58 AM  

Coffee Snob: I'm sure you're all gorgeous.

I have an idea! Let's take shiatty pictures of you from when you were younger and plaster them on the internet for basement dwelling pud whackers to gawk at and mock.

I know, welcome to Fark and all that other bullshiat.


Sounds like someone posed for glamour shots
 
2012-04-24 10:28:07 AM  

spentmiles: Oh wow, people hating on Glamour Shots... Back in the early 1980s, I bought a franchise and opened a store at a mall in Richland Hills, just outside of Dallas. I was in my early twenties, but I'd been taking photographs my entire life. For all the people that hate on it, you have to understand just how farking hideous these people are when they walk into the store. Typically, it's a middle aged woman whose trying to take a "sexy" shot for her boyfriend, but not so sexy that it will get confiscated by the prison guards who monitor the mall. So it's my job to make this humongous, flabby white woman look good enough for Paco to jack to while he's doing a five year minimum for the statutory rape of the woman's daughter. Hey, I consider myself an artist, up to any challenge, but you have to understand -- the Sistine Chapel was already pretty damn beautiful before Michelangelo started on it.

Forget the size of them, these woman were so ugly that I'd wake up at night, screaming, covered in sweat, and punching myself in my own cock. I had to basically build them a new head using clown make-up, hairspray, and Satanic prayer. I'll probably go to hell for it. The only way I could tell if I'd done a reasonable job is to have the woman look in the mirror to see if it'd shatter. I was unable to masturbate to orgasm my entire tenure there.

So please, do not hate Glamour Shots itself. It was a reasonable idea that preyed on people's vanity. I closed shop, though, when this particularly hideous walrus took off her robe and asked for some tasteful nudes. Her nipples... my God... her nipples...


Hm...not up to your usual level, spent.
 
2012-04-24 10:28:48 AM  

AmazinTim: I have a bleached asshole.


Nancy Grace has her turd cutter bleached !?
 
2012-04-24 10:28:59 AM  
Not a glamour shot, but very awesome
i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-24 10:29:15 AM  
41 ladies with great personalities.
41? The hell you say, there're only 40 slides.

/matching fringed turquoise leather jackets has 2 ladies.
 
2012-04-24 10:29:27 AM  
#12 looks like it'd be good 'desperate divorcee sex', #19 looks like she knows her way around it.
 
2012-04-24 10:29:31 AM  
That reminded me of this old gem:

Fat Chicks in Party Hats
 
2012-04-24 10:29:33 AM  

Balchinian: [i.imgur.com image 388x520]

Yo Dawg, we heard you like afros...


i loved watching him paint.
 
2012-04-24 10:29:38 AM  
These are either Glamor Shots taken in the late 80's or from a Glamor Shots studio in Texas last week.
 
2012-04-24 10:30:21 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-24 10:31:49 AM  

Magorn: UtileDysfunktion: My sister had one of these photos taken and gave a framed copy to my father for Christmas. He unwrapped the present and looked at it and told her "Nice frame, would have been better if you'd put a picture of yourself in it." I told him "Dad, look at the photo reeeeeal close." . He looked at it for a while and finally responded with "Oh."

Never understood the "giving a glamour shot of myself as a gift to someone I'm not romanatically involved with" thing..."


Yep, same here.
 
2012-04-24 10:32:20 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-24 10:32:28 AM  
I didn't throw up a little in my mouth. I spewed chunks all over the keyboard and my cat.

cdn.smosh.com


And with that I'm off the the kitchen to get an ice pick to gouge out my eyes.
 
2012-04-24 10:32:31 AM  

Tyrosine: That reminded me of this old gem:

Fat Chicks in Party Hats


Thanks for reminding me of the internet's golden age.
 
2012-04-24 10:32:33 AM  
When you are a professional photog trying to make a living, you don't get to choose WHO your taking a picture of.

You just have to try to take the best picture of that ugly, fat cow that you can. And hope they pay you for it.
 
2012-04-24 10:32:44 AM  

freetomato: I'm embarrassed to say I had some of these done when I was about 16. They had me do the "Fonz" pose and wear about 10 times more makeup then I was used to. Even though I was pretty cute back then (or so I hear) the pictures are ridiculous and I pull them out to laugh at them once in a while.


Pics or GTFO
 
2012-04-24 10:33:19 AM  

Krymson Tyde: Not a glamour shot, but very awesome
[i232.photobucket.com image 300x426]


...and kinda' creepy.
 
2012-04-24 10:33:46 AM  

TV's Vinnie: These are either Glamor Shots taken in the late 80's or from a Glamor Shots studio in Texas last week.


Nothing says those options have to be mutually exclusive.
 
2012-04-24 10:33:50 AM  
Ha ha! People used to have a different sense of fashion!
 
2012-04-24 10:36:59 AM  

Krymson Tyde: Not a glamour shot, but very awesome
[i232.photobucket.com image 300x426]


That's not at all creepy. Nope, not one little bit...
 
2012-04-24 10:38:52 AM  

spentmiles: Oh wow, people hating on Glamour Shots... Back in the early 1980s, I bought a franchise and opened a store at a mall in Richland Hills, just outside of Dallas. I was in my early twenties, but I'd been taking photographs my entire life. For all the people that hate on it, you have to understand just how farking hideous these people are when they walk into the store. Typically, it's a middle aged woman whose trying to take a "sexy" shot for her boyfriend, but not so sexy that it will get confiscated by the prison guards who monitor the mall. So it's my job to make this humongous, flabby white woman look good enough for Paco to jack to while he's doing a five year minimum for the statutory rape of the woman's daughter. Hey, I consider myself an artist, up to any challenge, but you have to understand -- the Sistine Chapel was already pretty damn beautiful before Michelangelo started on it.

Forget the size of them, these woman were so ugly that I'd wake up at night, screaming, covered in sweat, and punching myself in my own cock. I had to basically build them a new head using clown make-up, hairspray, and Satanic prayer. I'll probably go to hell for it. The only way I could tell if I'd done a reasonable job is to have the woman look in the mirror to see if it'd shatter. I was unable to masturbate to orgasm my entire tenure there.

So please, do not hate Glamour Shots itself. It was a reasonable idea that preyed on people's vanity. I closed shop, though, when this particularly hideous walrus took off her robe and asked for some tasteful nudes. Her nipples... my God... her nipples...


I think I man-love you...and you owe me a new keyboard
 
2012-04-24 10:39:21 AM  
I had a friend who had some done of herself and had them plastered all over her apartment - they were decent enough pictures but the costumes were just strange. I was always too poor to get them done when they were popular and, in retrospect, do not regret my lack of funds because I am sure that (as shiatty as my luck has been lately) I would have been one of the forty slides looking like a dumbass with those other ladies.

I wonder when the giant, oversprayed hair will come back in style...
 
2012-04-24 10:39:33 AM  
Invisible money shot:

img805.imageshack.us
 
2012-04-24 10:39:42 AM  
I'm assuming that the point of glamour shots was to make a woman look glamorous. WTF did these women look like when they weren't all painted up and hanging onto their collars like they were life preservers?
 
2012-04-24 10:40:18 AM  
The Mother:
www.clickorlando.com

The Daughter:
www.clickorlando.com

The Other Daughter. Disowned. In Jail.
www.clickorlando.com
 
2012-04-24 10:40:19 AM  
Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.
 
2012-04-24 10:40:52 AM  

Wild Eyed and Wicked: I wonder when the giant, oversprayed hair will come back in style...


I understand that it never did in Texas
 
2012-04-24 10:40:53 AM  
www.clickorlando.com

I need an explanation for this inclusion.
 
2012-04-24 10:41:28 AM  
oi44.tinypic.com

/sorry if this is you
 
2012-04-24 10:42:15 AM  
I was always aware of how older people laughed at old pictures of themselves - 70s hair, etc. I was determined not to let it happen to me. As a teenager, I had a normal, conservative haircut, fashionable glasses (as much as possible), no goofy piercings. No one would have picture of me with a purple mohawk, dangly earrings, or wraparound shades.

Sigh...it happened anyway. My kids look at my old senior picture and laugh until they can't stand up. And they're right. Very few escape that fate.
 
2012-04-24 10:42:26 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: Grables'Daughter: Isn't the entire idea of that business to prey on unattractive people who want to have a sexy photo of themselves?

yes. where are yours?


Buried in the back yard.
 
2012-04-24 10:42:43 AM  

Mayhem of the Black Underclass: 41 ladies with great personalities.
41? The hell you say, there're only 40 slides.

/matching fringed turquoise leather jackets has 2 ladies.


Yeah, but wasn't the Delta Burke cow in there twice?
 
2012-04-24 10:42:52 AM  
That slide show gave me a better insight into humanity. I had always wondered at people stopping to gawk at a horrific car crash. But there I was clicking my way through that slide show, looking at one sad, devastating wreck after another. Over and over again looking at things I did not want to see or worse remember.
 
2012-04-24 10:42:53 AM  

Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.


Hmmm. I'm stumped by your statement. You're not new to Fark...
 
2012-04-24 10:43:01 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: [25.media.tumblr.com image 496x452]


While the guy is goofy, that is, however, one photogenic cat.
 
2012-04-24 10:43:23 AM  

bluehubcap: I'm assuming that the point of glamour shots was to make a woman look glamorous. WTF did these women look like when they weren't all painted up and hanging onto their collars like they were life preservers?


media.tumblr.com

i had this one taken just for you.
 
2012-04-24 10:43:42 AM  
christ they're all fat and i'm scared as hell now and i want to cry
 
2012-04-24 10:44:16 AM  

Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.


I see what you did there!

cdn.smosh.com
 
2012-04-24 10:44:43 AM  
The eighties have so much to answer for.
 
2012-04-24 10:45:10 AM  
I have the #3. I am so ashamed right now.
 
2012-04-24 10:45:35 AM  

bluehubcap: Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.

Hmmm. I'm stumped by your statement. You're not new to Fark...


(clears throat) - um, read his name, favorited farkette..
 
2012-04-24 10:47:11 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: bluehubcap: I'm assuming that the point of glamour shots was to make a woman look glamorous. WTF did these women look like when they weren't all painted up and hanging onto their collars like they were life preservers?

[media.tumblr.com image 450x531]

i had this one taken just for you.


At least that one's not fat and can deliver a high kick.
 
2012-04-24 10:47:26 AM  

sandi_fish: I have the #3. I am so ashamed right now.


you still have it?
 
2012-04-24 10:48:10 AM  

Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.


Troll-like typing detected.

/and Fark handle
 
2012-04-24 10:48:25 AM  
I'll say it before and I'll say it again:

You can't polish a turd.
 
2012-04-24 10:48:54 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: sandi_fish: I have the #3. I am so ashamed right now.

you still have it?


It is at my parent's house, on the wall. (Kicks self for telling you guys).
 
2012-04-24 10:49:15 AM  

the-meter-man: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x303]

And here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season's fashion.



Hard to believe she's 27 now. I still remember her as the kid from Waterworld.

www4.images.coolspotters.com
 
2012-04-24 10:49:25 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com

i gave my love a cherry that had no stone
 
2012-04-24 10:49:51 AM  

tamsnod27: bluehubcap: Terrydatroll: Most of these girls were probably very proud of these pictures and possibly looking to recapture youth and attractiveness either lost or never in possession of over time. Self esteem can be a very fragile and fleeting thing for some. I wonder how it would make them feel if they happened to see this post and read the comments making fun of them. Pretty shameful to post this IMO.

Hmmm. I'm stumped by your statement. You're not new to Fark...

(clears throat) - um, read his name, favorited farkette..


:) I was being facetious, but thank you for pointing it out.
 
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