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(The Superficial)   Scarlett Johansson loves chicken wings. More on this story as details come in   (thesuperficial.com ) divider line
    More: Cool, Scarlett Johansson, Amanda Bynes, scrotum, Black Widow, Sean Penn, Leonardo DiCaprio, Selena Gomez, Jonas Grumby  
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5834 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Apr 2012 at 8:49 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-04-23 08:28:09 PM  
We have so much in common!

- Makes "call me" gesture whilst weeping into a greasy bib at the "Wing Hut."
 
2012-04-23 08:53:34 PM  
I love big titties.

I mean, breasts.
 
2012-04-23 08:57:08 PM  
 
2012-04-23 08:59:46 PM  
Well, farewell good friend....

www.screenwritingforhollywood.com
 
2012-04-23 09:06:41 PM  
Mmmm....Johansson thighs.
 
2012-04-23 09:52:37 PM  
I hear she likes a good cluck.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-23 09:59:19 PM  
FTFA: If none of this is making any sense, let me point out that Scarlett Johansson has an unhealthy obsession with Barack Obama and is clearly a racist because she thought talk of chicken wings and fat asses would lure him in. Her purse was probably stuffed with food stamps and watermelon, that's how horrible Scarlett Johansson is and not me who's simply reporting the facts I made up using offensive stereotypes. Stop the hate, woman!

What the fark? Stop writing.
 
2012-04-23 10:03:09 PM  
Hi, my birth name is Chicken Wings. We should talk.
 
2012-04-23 10:03:10 PM  
She has an unhealthy desire for chicken wings, I have an unhealthy desire for her. In the end, it all balances out.


or something
 
2012-04-23 10:14:50 PM  
What a coincidence! My penis is actually covered in wing sauce as I sit here typing this.
 
2012-04-23 10:17:39 PM  

bugmn99: What a coincidence! My penis is actually covered in wing sauce as I sit here typing this.


Ouch! I think I'd rather have my balls stuck in a wood-slatted chair.
 
2012-04-23 10:19:43 PM  
I eat more chicken any man ever seen.
 
2012-04-23 10:25:35 PM  
BACK OFF! SHE'S MINE!

/I'll even bring the bleu cheese dressing and beer.
 
2012-04-23 10:49:58 PM  
I just wanna impart that I love chicken wings also, but this is in no way to imply I find her attractive in any way shape or form. I'm just putting this out here as a movie buff,,, umm, Scarlett you were a little stiff in "Ghost World" but got considerably more stiff in "The Island",,, in fact you were rock hard in that one. You were so stiff in that movie some people think you blew your load and were done. But no,,, You continued with you're rock hard preformance in "Iron Man". You continue to spew good roles despite Hollywood typecast. I'ts arousing to see such a fine actress finding uplifting stimulating roles that keep them coming.

/That is all.
 
2012-04-23 10:54:09 PM  

Abner Doon: What the fark? Stop writing.


If you enjoy quality writing, or even coherent sentences, perhaps online celebrity tabloids are not for you.
 
2012-04-23 11:55:41 PM  
Im going to coat my pecker in Ranch Dressing and see if she can suck the meat off the bone.
 
2012-04-23 11:56:58 PM  

Mildot: Im going to coat my pecker in Ranch Dressing and see if she can suck the meat off the bone.


You're such an old-fashioned romantic.
 
2012-04-24 12:16:11 AM  
"I never seen a (wo)man eat so many chicken wings!"
 
2012-04-24 12:23:20 AM  
i40.tinypic.com
 
2012-04-24 12:27:04 AM  

cryinoutloud: [i40.tinypic.com image 321x539]


You, sir, are a scoundrel.
 
2012-04-24 12:36:16 AM  
Wellon Dowd

motherofgod.jpg
 
2012-04-24 12:40:12 AM  

cryinoutloud: [i40.tinypic.com image 321x539]


This is what she would look like after just one year with me. My DNAFu is that powerful.
 
2012-04-24 12:42:52 AM  

cryinoutloud: [i40.tinypic.com image 321x539]



Your PS mischief is not appreciated one bit,madam!

/Just kidding. Well played.
 
2012-04-24 01:02:56 AM  
I wholeheartedly believe that she could be addicted to eating puppies in front of their owners and lapping the tears up and most everyone would still line up around the country just to get a shot at sleeping with her.

/would be the one beating others up in line to get further ahead
 
2012-04-24 01:13:01 AM  

theurge14: Hi, my birth name is Chicken Wings. We should talk.


Reminds me of a Steven Wright joke:

One day I got on the bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl. I sat beside her.

I said, 'Hi', And she said, 'Hi', and then I said, 'Nice day, isn't it?'.

And she said, 'I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem.'

So I asked, 'What's the problem?' She replied, 'I can't tell you. I don't even know you.'

I said, 'Well, sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus.'

So she said, 'Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys... By the way, my name is Denise.'

I said, 'Hello, Denise. My name is Bucky Goldstein.'.
 
2012-04-24 01:46:41 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-24 01:58:48 AM  

HighOnCraic: theurge14: Hi, my birth name is Chicken Wings. We should talk.

Reminds me of a Steven Wright joke:

One day I got on the bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl. I sat beside her.

I said, 'Hi', And she said, 'Hi', and then I said, 'Nice day, isn't it?'.

And she said, 'I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem.'

So I asked, 'What's the problem?' She replied, 'I can't tell you. I don't even know you.'

I said, 'Well, sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus.'

So she said, 'Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys... By the way, my name is Denise.'

I said, 'Hello, Denise. My name is Bucky Goldstein.'.


That was Stevens "War and peace" .
 
2012-04-24 05:10:25 AM  
ooooooh, the bigger the figure
the better i love her
the more that i love her
the more that i feed her
the more that i feed her
the bigger her figure
the bigger the figure the more i'm in looooooove....

/not mine. still funny.
 
2012-04-24 07:16:26 AM  
"Baby, eat that chicken slow..."
 
2012-04-24 08:02:13 AM  
I do grill some mean wings Scarlett.
i219.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-24 08:55:05 AM  

Zombie Hitler: [Bob Backlund.jpg]


Goddamnit, man ya beat me to it!!

/well played
 
2012-04-24 11:04:06 AM  
Hey, Scarlett, I work at Buffalo Wild Wings. I'll give ya something to munch on.

/if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Also, Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.
 
2012-04-24 12:32:05 PM  
This thread is a perfect example of why I love Fark. Probably even more than I love Johansson.

/But DAMN YOU, cryinoutloud!
 
2012-04-24 01:18:12 PM  
There's a "Finger lickin' good" joke in here somewhere...
 
2012-04-24 01:23:02 PM  

schattenteufel: There's a "Finger lickin' good" joke in here somewhere...


Yes, she was.
 
2012-04-24 01:32:14 PM  

Wellon Dowd: I hear she likes a good cluck.

[i.imgur.com image 640x798]


Meh. Just like all actresses, take away the make-up artist, hair stylist and clothing stylist and she's still just meh. I've seen better looking chicks in the grocery store.
 
2012-04-24 04:06:09 PM  
I would not evict her from the bed chamber for consuming saltines.
 
2012-04-24 04:31:46 PM  

555-FILK: Wellon Dowd: I hear she likes a good cluck.

[i.imgur.com image 640x798]

Meh. Just like all actresses, take away the make-up artist, hair stylist and clothing stylist and she's still just meh. I've seen better looking chicks in the grocery store.


I doubt it, but go on fooling yourself.
 
2012-04-24 04:34:28 PM  

555-FILK: Meh. Just like all actresses, take away the make-up artist, hair stylist and clothing stylist and she's still just meh. I've seen better looking chicks in the grocery store.


i.qkme.me
 
2012-04-24 05:42:25 PM  

cryinoutloud: [i40.tinypic.com image 321x539]


Even fat I would still hit it.
 
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