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(Q13 Fox)   Aside from the seven-month winters, douchebag cyclists, crappy interstate, useless sports teams, liberal politics and water, Seattle is pretty popular   (q13fox.com) divider line 19
    More: Spiffy, Seattle  
•       •       •

4384 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2012 at 10:26 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-04-23 11:19:53 PM  
3 votes:
First rule of Seattle is that you don't talk about Seattle, too bad the local news is clueless.
2012-04-23 10:34:47 PM  
3 votes:
It rains here everyday - just like today. It was cold and gray and stormy. No one should want to live here, let alone visit. Especially Californians. The women are cows and the men are sissies. The traffic and parking are horrible. The radio only plays Pearl Jam, PUSA, Sir-Mix-Alot and Nirvana on repeat. It's a terrible, gray, lonely place - not fit for human habitation.

It's so bad here, I'd have the entire State of Washington removed from US maps and replaced with simply a black block that says 'here be monsters.'
2012-04-23 10:58:55 PM  
2 votes:
The best thing about living in Seattle is not living in Detroit.
2012-04-23 10:56:13 PM  
2 votes:
This is a typical house in the Seattle area:
www.berfrois.com

A picture of the Seattle Public Library I snapped last week:
www.spreadartculture.com

Downtown Tacoma:
media.wnyc.org

And don't even get started on what is left of downtown Seattle (see, the caption proves it):
content.lib.washington.edu
2012-04-23 10:46:59 PM  
2 votes:
Aw fer chrissakes......

They're wrong! Wrong, I tell you! The crime rate is sky-high! The thugs prey on tourists, especially down near Pike Place Market. There are only twenty parking spots in the whole city, and they're all taken up by the homeless living in vans! A half-inch of snow and the city is paralyzed till spring. Our schools are consistently in the bottom 10th percentile of standardized math and reading tests. It rains nonstop 11 months out of the year! And, we have NO HOUSES for sale - none, anywhere! Go away - don't even think of moving here!

/amidoingitrite?
2012-04-23 10:41:49 PM  
2 votes:

AbbeySomeone: You forgot to mention Mt. Rainier glistening menacingly in our back yards.


As someone who lives in the Orting Valley, and has this view out my backyard, I fully concur with this assessment:
a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net
Look at how that evil mountain peak peeks over the ridge. It's almost as if it's pressing you down with its menacing terror.

TERROR!
2012-04-23 10:30:21 PM  
2 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

Immediately what subby made me think of.
2012-04-24 08:46:14 AM  
1 votes:
Visited Seattle once. Wasn't bad except for the hordes of filthy hipsters wandering around trying to look "scene-y" and "edge-y" and just generally making a nuisance of themselves. Oh, and the farking panhandlers. And the Starbuckses. You can't swing a dead hipster panhandler without hitting 3 Starbuckses.

Just pave over the whole city and start again. Didn't they do that once already? Or was that an episode of Scooby Doo?
2012-04-23 11:31:13 PM  
1 votes:
The dream of the nineties is alive in
news.opb.org
Seattle?
2012-04-23 11:27:38 PM  
1 votes:

Chameleon: There's a reason Kurt killed himself.


What does a coked out blonde harpie have to do with the economic despair of Aberdeen? Last I checked, they were fortunate enough that she wasn't haunting their streets.
2012-04-23 11:15:08 PM  
1 votes:

fisker: Party at Gasworks.


But no actual picnicking. And try not to scuff the ground up with your shoes, because it's toxic, what being as poisonous as a typical superfund site. Oh, and if you decide to visit it via the lake, please don't drop anchor, as it will disturb the bottom and a heavy-metal-laden oil sheen will rise to the surface and spoil the idyllic setting.

You might question the street cred of your average Seattleite. You might. But, before you do, try to remember that we turned what should have been a superfund site into a public park, and then sold the rest of you on its charm.

/8-9 months of mile-thick overcast kinda farks you up.
//Farks you up, hard, biatches.
2012-04-23 11:13:24 PM  
1 votes:

davidphogan: Miss Stein: Aw fer chrissakes......

They're wrong! Wrong, I tell you! The crime rate is sky-high! The thugs prey on tourists, especially down near Pike Place Market. There are only twenty parking spots in the whole city, and they're all taken up by the homeless living in vans! A half-inch of snow and the city is paralyzed till spring. Our schools are consistently in the bottom 10th percentile of standardized math and reading tests. It rains nonstop 11 months out of the year! And, we have NO HOUSES for sale - none, anywhere! Go away - don't even think of moving here!

/amidoingitrite?

You forgot the smell. And the monsters that drag people into the sound. Portland's even worse though. If you're on the streets more than 12 minutes you'll typically get raped by no less than three different bums.


Luxury! When I was in Renton I couldn't find anybody to rape. I had to rape myself no less than 6 times a night
2012-04-23 11:07:29 PM  
1 votes:
The last time I was in Seattle my eggs benedict were over poached, and the place didn't serve espresso so I had a to have a few irish coffees instead. I wouldn't recommend that city to anyone.
2012-04-23 10:52:22 PM  
1 votes:
my posse's on broadway
2012-04-23 10:49:26 PM  
1 votes:

AbbeySomeone: If you add Ocean Shores


I'd say that Aberdeen is several levels of despair deeper than Ocean Shores. The only other time I've seen poverty that bad was when I went to school in the deep south. Ocean Shores is paradise in comparison.


Ishkur: It has seventh month Autumns. Wet, windy, grey, cloudy, miserable Autumns.


Much like Eskimos have 50 different ways to describe snow and ice, people in Seattle have 50 different ways to describe the various states between sun and rain.
2012-04-23 10:38:58 PM  
1 votes:
13 coins is nice, though.
2012-04-23 10:36:28 PM  
1 votes:
Keep snortin that granulated Kool-aid, subby. You'll be cool any minute now.
2012-04-23 08:46:35 PM  
1 votes:

EatTheWorld: I hear that! I only drink conservative water ;)


/mixed with flavor crystals and sugar




i42.tinypic.com
2012-04-23 08:20:51 PM  
1 votes:
I hear that! I only drink conservative water ;)


/mixed with flavor crystals and sugar
 
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