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(Q13 Fox)   Aside from the seven-month winters, douchebag cyclists, crappy interstate, useless sports teams, liberal politics and water, Seattle is pretty popular   (q13fox.com ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Seattle  
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4389 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2012 at 10:26 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



124 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-04-23 08:20:51 PM  
I hear that! I only drink conservative water ;)


/mixed with flavor crystals and sugar
 
2012-04-23 08:46:35 PM  

EatTheWorld: I hear that! I only drink conservative water ;)


/mixed with flavor crystals and sugar


i42.tinypic.com

 
2012-04-23 09:05:24 PM  
Hey subby we can distill our own Vodka and buy medical weed, can your pitiful inbred state do that?

GFY
Btw, you forgot to mention the parking.
 
2012-04-23 09:18:11 PM  
Ha! Suck it, everywhere else!
 
2012-04-23 10:30:18 PM  
Sounds like an utter shiathole. You suck, Seattle!

/Native Detroiter
 
2012-04-23 10:30:21 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Immediately what subby made me think of.
 
2012-04-23 10:33:39 PM  
As a former resident of both Renton and Port Angeles I'd like to give a hearty FARK YOU to the entire Puget Sound. May your dicks shrivel up and your tits sag to the knees
 
2012-04-23 10:33:43 PM  

wildcardjack: Immediately what subby made me think of.


I thought we were the Popular Front...
 
2012-04-23 10:34:36 PM  
As someone who has lived here for a number of years, it actually quite sucks and you should probably stay well away.
 
2012-04-23 10:34:47 PM  
It rains here everyday - just like today. It was cold and gray and stormy. No one should want to live here, let alone visit. Especially Californians. The women are cows and the men are sissies. The traffic and parking are horrible. The radio only plays Pearl Jam, PUSA, Sir-Mix-Alot and Nirvana on repeat. It's a terrible, gray, lonely place - not fit for human habitation.

It's so bad here, I'd have the entire State of Washington removed from US maps and replaced with simply a black block that says 'here be monsters.'
 
2012-04-23 10:36:28 PM  
Keep snortin that granulated Kool-aid, subby. You'll be cool any minute now.
 
2012-04-23 10:37:09 PM  

MrSteve007: It rains here everyday - just like today. It was cold and gray and stormy. No one should want to live here, let alone visit. Especially Californians. The women are cows and the men are sissies. The traffic and parking are horrible. The radio only plays Pearl Jam, PUSA, Sir-Mix-Alot and Nirvana on repeat. It's a terrible, gray, lonely place - not fit for human habitation.

It's so bad here, I'd have the entire State of Washington removed from US maps and replaced with simply a black block that says 'here be monsters.'


But it was really sunny today like it was for the last we--oh. OH.

Yeah, it's a black hole and I just witnessed seven suicides today...on my way to work.

/Also the UNIONS! They drive the standard of living WAY DOWN!
 
2012-04-23 10:37:31 PM  

MrSteve007: It rains here everyday - just like today. It was cold and gray and stormy. No one should want to live here, let alone visit. Especially Californians. The women are cows and the men are sissies. The traffic and parking are horrible. The radio only plays Pearl Jam, PUSA, Sir-Mix-Alot and Nirvana on repeat. It's a terrible, gray, lonely place - not fit for human habitation.

It's so bad here, I'd have the entire State of Washington removed from US maps and replaced with simply a black block that says 'here be monsters.'


You forgot to mention Mt. Rainier glistening menacingly in our back yards.

/lahar you say.
//lilacs are blooming
 
2012-04-23 10:38:58 PM  
13 coins is nice, though.
 
2012-04-23 10:39:59 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: As a former resident of both Renton and Port Angeles I'd like to give a hearty FARK YOU to the entire Puget Sound. May your dicks shrivel up and your tits sag to the knees


If you add Ocean Shores or Burien to your list you will have lived in all the sh*t hole areas. None of them is Seattle proper.
 
2012-04-23 10:40:41 PM  
A misnomer, subby: Seattle doesn't have any winters at all.

It has seventh month Autumns. Wet, windy, grey, cloudy, miserable Autumns.

The rest is true.
 
2012-04-23 10:41:08 PM  
farking cyclists.
 
2012-04-23 10:41:31 PM  

AbbeySomeone: Smeggy Smurf: As a former resident of both Renton and Port Angeles I'd like to give a hearty FARK YOU to the entire Puget Sound. May your dicks shrivel up and your tits sag to the knees

If you add Ocean Shores or Burien to your list you will have lived in all the sh*t hole areas. None of them is Seattle proper.


You forgot Gorst and Fife, two of my personal faves.
 
2012-04-23 10:41:49 PM  

AbbeySomeone: You forgot to mention Mt. Rainier glistening menacingly in our back yards.


As someone who lives in the Orting Valley, and has this view out my backyard, I fully concur with this assessment:
a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net
Look at how that evil mountain peak peeks over the ridge. It's almost as if it's pressing you down with its menacing terror.

TERROR!
 
2012-04-23 10:41:58 PM  
I actually had a friend tell me he wanted to move to Seattle or Portland so that he could finally be appreciated as an artist. Youse guys are like West Brooklyn.
 
2012-04-23 10:45:57 PM  
Subby fails to mention the charming meth zombies and the roving packs of rabid pitbulls. Other than that, yeah.
 
2012-04-23 10:46:59 PM  
Aw fer chrissakes......

They're wrong! Wrong, I tell you! The crime rate is sky-high! The thugs prey on tourists, especially down near Pike Place Market. There are only twenty parking spots in the whole city, and they're all taken up by the homeless living in vans! A half-inch of snow and the city is paralyzed till spring. Our schools are consistently in the bottom 10th percentile of standardized math and reading tests. It rains nonstop 11 months out of the year! And, we have NO HOUSES for sale - none, anywhere! Go away - don't even think of moving here!

/amidoingitrite?
 
2012-04-23 10:47:16 PM  

MrSteve007: It was cold and gray and stormy.


Ugh, it was AWFUL.
 
2012-04-23 10:47:39 PM  
Subby forgot to mention that Seattle police is by far one of the most brutal in the country and they regularly make a habit of losing dash cam videos
 
2012-04-23 10:49:26 PM  

AbbeySomeone: If you add Ocean Shores


I'd say that Aberdeen is several levels of despair deeper than Ocean Shores. The only other time I've seen poverty that bad was when I went to school in the deep south. Ocean Shores is paradise in comparison.


Ishkur: It has seventh month Autumns. Wet, windy, grey, cloudy, miserable Autumns.


Much like Eskimos have 50 different ways to describe snow and ice, people in Seattle have 50 different ways to describe the various states between sun and rain.
 
2012-04-23 10:52:01 PM  

Dinjiin: 'd say that Aberdeen is several levels of despair deeper than Ocean Shores. The only other time I've seen poverty that bad was when I went to school in the deep south. Ocean Shores is paradise in comparison.


There's a reason Kurt killed himself.

Anyway, Seattle is just a place, you know? There's good things. There's bad things. Some people like it here. Other people like it elsewhere. Why do we keep having this thread?
 
2012-04-23 10:52:22 PM  
my posse's on broadway
 
2012-04-23 10:52:37 PM  

MrSteve007:

As someone who lives in the Orting Valley, and has this view out my backyard, I fully concur with this assessment:
[a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net image 640x479]
Look at how that evil mountain peak peeks over the ridge. It's almost as if it's pressing you down with its menacing terror.

TERROR!


I'd have gone with "DINSDALE?" myself, but TERROR works too.


As someone whos coming up on my twentieth year living here, I have to agree. Horrible, horrible place. For Gods sake, if you're planning a move, save yourself and choose somewhere else!

/particularly if you're from CA, or an eastern Washington right-winger.
 
2012-04-23 10:56:13 PM  
This is a typical house in the Seattle area:
www.berfrois.com

A picture of the Seattle Public Library I snapped last week:
www.spreadartculture.com

Downtown Tacoma:
media.wnyc.org

And don't even get started on what is left of downtown Seattle (see, the caption proves it):
content.lib.washington.edu
 
2012-04-23 10:57:04 PM  
Wait - Is it 1993 again?
 
2012-04-23 10:57:05 PM  
Is this the part where I say "who the hell are all you Seattle Farkers?" And "why haven't we had a Seattle Fark party lately?"
 
2012-04-23 10:58:55 PM  
The best thing about living in Seattle is not living in Detroit.
 
2012-04-23 10:59:08 PM  
Party at Gasworks.
 
2012-04-23 10:59:32 PM  
I'm overdue for a visit.

- Don't know about Seattle as a whole but I dig me a handful of Seattlevillianburghiantowners.
 
2012-04-23 11:00:44 PM  
So what subby is saying is it's like Minnesota but with warmer winters? Sign me up.
 
2012-04-23 11:01:43 PM  
Lived here a year, don't like it. I am going back East. This place is over hyped and a bit boring.
 
2012-04-23 11:02:52 PM  
The cascades where the only mountains to get snow, skiing until July in 70* weather. Or you can go boating or fishing or climb active volcanoes. Clean weather, good food, better weed, what more do you need?

Women too ugly for you? Quit biatching and go pluck a California hottie like I did.
 
2012-04-23 11:05:41 PM  
Conservatives forget that King George III used to complain about the liberal politics and water in Boston.

And what was the result?
USA! USA!
 
2012-04-23 11:07:14 PM  
As an Oregonian, I just want to point out to anyone planning to move to the Pacific Northwest that Seattle is much nicer than Portland, and this list proves it!
 
2012-04-23 11:07:29 PM  
The last time I was in Seattle my eggs benedict were over poached, and the place didn't serve espresso so I had a to have a few irish coffees instead. I wouldn't recommend that city to anyone.
 
2012-04-23 11:07:31 PM  
As a liberal, a cyclist, and someone who loves the water this thread and article are relevant to my interests. I hear my tribe lives up that way.
 
2012-04-23 11:10:34 PM  

Miss Stein: Aw fer chrissakes......

They're wrong! Wrong, I tell you! The crime rate is sky-high! The thugs prey on tourists, especially down near Pike Place Market. There are only twenty parking spots in the whole city, and they're all taken up by the homeless living in vans! A half-inch of snow and the city is paralyzed till spring. Our schools are consistently in the bottom 10th percentile of standardized math and reading tests. It rains nonstop 11 months out of the year! And, we have NO HOUSES for sale - none, anywhere! Go away - don't even think of moving here!

/amidoingitrite?


You forgot the smell. And the monsters that drag people into the sound. Portland's even worse though. If you're on the streets more than 12 minutes you'll typically get raped by no less than three different bums.
 
2012-04-23 11:13:24 PM  

davidphogan: Miss Stein: Aw fer chrissakes......

They're wrong! Wrong, I tell you! The crime rate is sky-high! The thugs prey on tourists, especially down near Pike Place Market. There are only twenty parking spots in the whole city, and they're all taken up by the homeless living in vans! A half-inch of snow and the city is paralyzed till spring. Our schools are consistently in the bottom 10th percentile of standardized math and reading tests. It rains nonstop 11 months out of the year! And, we have NO HOUSES for sale - none, anywhere! Go away - don't even think of moving here!

/amidoingitrite?

You forgot the smell. And the monsters that drag people into the sound. Portland's even worse though. If you're on the streets more than 12 minutes you'll typically get raped by no less than three different bums.


Luxury! When I was in Renton I couldn't find anybody to rape. I had to rape myself no less than 6 times a night
 
2012-04-23 11:15:08 PM  

fisker: Party at Gasworks.


But no actual picnicking. And try not to scuff the ground up with your shoes, because it's toxic, what being as poisonous as a typical superfund site. Oh, and if you decide to visit it via the lake, please don't drop anchor, as it will disturb the bottom and a heavy-metal-laden oil sheen will rise to the surface and spoil the idyllic setting.

You might question the street cred of your average Seattleite. You might. But, before you do, try to remember that we turned what should have been a superfund site into a public park, and then sold the rest of you on its charm.

/8-9 months of mile-thick overcast kinda farks you up.
//Farks you up, hard, biatches.
 
2012-04-23 11:15:41 PM  
I like how all the newbies state that they are waiting to buy a house, they'll just rent for a while until the prices come down.

My house lost $700k, for about a year, now it's almost back up to where it was. Don't plan on selling anytime soon, Bellevue isn't Seattle, it's better. Cyclist's still fear the cars, as most of them are driven by angry taxpayers. Great restaurants are plentiful, plenty of things to do, and we have had 3 murders in 2 years.

But if you want to be a douchebag hipster, do it in Seattle, I visit Portland more often.
 
2012-04-23 11:16:03 PM  
Last time I was in Seattle the traffic was a nightmare, and they were just beginning construction on a light rail system. Did that work out? Or is it still hell to get from point A to point B during rush hour?
 
2012-04-23 11:17:38 PM  

fracas: fisker: Party at Gasworks.

But no actual picnicking. And try not to scuff the ground up with your shoes, because it's toxic, what being as poisonous as a typical superfund site. Oh, and if you decide to visit it via the lake, please don't drop anchor, as it will disturb the bottom and a heavy-metal-laden oil sheen will rise to the surface and spoil the idyllic setting.

You might question the street cred of your average Seattleite. You might. But, before you do, try to remember that we turned what should have been a superfund site into a public park, and then sold the rest of you on its charm.

/8-9 months of mile-thick overcast kinda farks you up.
//Farks you up, hard, biatches.


I always get a sardonic kick out of people swimming in Lake Union.

/shudder
 
2012-04-23 11:19:53 PM  
First rule of Seattle is that you don't talk about Seattle, too bad the local news is clueless.
 
2012-04-23 11:20:41 PM  
Take that, East St Louis!
 
2012-04-23 11:20:46 PM  

AbbeySomeone: fracas: fisker: Party at Gasworks.

But no actual picnicking. And try not to scuff the ground up with your shoes, because it's toxic, what being as poisonous as a typical superfund site. Oh, and if you decide to visit it via the lake, please don't drop anchor, as it will disturb the bottom and a heavy-metal-laden oil sheen will rise to the surface and spoil the idyllic setting.

You might question the street cred of your average Seattleite. You might. But, before you do, try to remember that we turned what should have been a superfund site into a public park, and then sold the rest of you on its charm.

/8-9 months of mile-thick overcast kinda farks you up.
//Farks you up, hard, biatches.

I always get a sardonic kick out of people swimming in Lake Union.

/shudder


That is just wrong, I won't eat at Blu Water Bistro just because it is too close to the water. And the owner wears a page boy bob, that men, of any persuasion, shouldn't wear.

/stink eye on you, bart.
 
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