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(TMZ)   "Prostate surgery... acute urinary retention... heart attack..." "Things that are serious, things that doctors oversee, THINGS THAT APPEAR ON DICK CLARK'S DEATH CERTIFICATE"   (tmz.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, death certificates, technical term, heart attacks  
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2218 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Apr 2012 at 8:04 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2012-04-23 05:25:02 PM  
Excellent.
 
2012-04-23 05:30:52 PM  
*DING*
 
2012-04-23 05:32:27 PM  
I always thought it would take a meteor strike to end him.
 
2012-04-23 05:36:32 PM  
Sometimes dead is better.
 
2012-04-23 06:14:18 PM  
i.ytimg.com
 
2012-04-23 08:10:48 PM  
Wait... what does Whoopi have to say about all this?
 
2012-04-23 08:11:32 PM  
Still a better headline than "Dick in the box"
 
2012-04-23 08:13:02 PM  
 
2012-04-23 08:15:03 PM  
Surprised they didn't find Seacrest's nose lodged up his ass during the autopsy.
 
2012-04-23 08:15:04 PM  
Nothing like dignifying a harmless, well liked, and pleasant man with the intimate details of his death.
 
2012-04-23 08:29:26 PM  

Contents Under Pressure: Nothing like dignifying a harmless, well liked, and pleasant man with the intimate details of his death.


Enough about that. Was his anus remarkable?

/dnrtfa for the reason you gave.
 
2012-04-23 08:38:42 PM  
So whos' Betty White gonna molest now?
 
2012-04-23 08:40:32 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: I always thought it would take a meteor strike to end him.


This should've been the headline that day.
 
2012-04-23 08:46:12 PM  

Contents Under Pressure: Nothing like dignifying a harmless, well liked, and pleasant man with the intimate details of his death.


Uh, you should read up on his early career. He was just as deep into payola as all the other rock DJs in the 50s, but he was smart enough not to put his name on songs like Alan Freed did or take brides directly, so he managed to come out of the scandal with his name untarnished.

Ask Chubby Checker how he feels about Dick Clark sometimes; the answer will likely surprise you.
 
2012-04-23 08:52:30 PM  
I feel bad for Clark now. He had a decent career, had some money, and was working at what he loved, and then he has a major stroke. And it just starts going downhill for him, ending with having to piss fire and then go in for a surgery that ends up finishing off your ticker.

Even if he was a jerk, that's a harsh way to go.

Dwight_Yeast: Ask Chubby Checker how he feels about Dick Clark sometimes; the answer will likely surprise you.


It'll all be said when Checker rips off Clark's head at the funeral, spikes it, and then does a touchdown dance while various ushers try to tackle him.
 
2012-04-23 09:34:35 PM  

enry: Contents Under Pressure: Nothing like dignifying a harmless, well liked, and pleasant man with the intimate details of his death.

Enough about that. Was his anus remarkable?

/dnrtfa for the reason you gave.


Yes, I was.....REMARKABLE
 
2012-04-23 10:41:25 PM  
By necessity subby's headline had to be a little long, but it was well constructed, well paced. I salute this person.
 
2012-04-23 10:44:29 PM  

johnnyboog: Wait... what does Whoopi have to say about all this?


"At least he wasn't rape raped to death>"???
 
2012-04-23 10:50:56 PM  

DanZero: Still a better headline than "Dick in the box"


FACT: You are incorrect.
 
2012-04-23 10:59:24 PM  

Remarkable_Anus: enry: Contents Under Pressure: Nothing like dignifying a harmless, well liked, and pleasant man with the intimate details of his death.

Enough about that. Was his anus remarkable?

/dnrtfa for the reason you gave.

Yes, I was.....REMARKABLE


Hmmm...
 
2012-04-24 12:23:30 AM  

Contents Under Pressure: Nothing like dignifying a harmless, well liked, and pleasant man with the intimate details of his death.


Eh, it's not like he was schtupping a 16-year-old when he croaked, or hung himself accidentally while performing autoerotic asphyxiation on himself...
 
2012-04-24 01:14:34 AM  
I went to junior high and high school with Dick Clark's son Duane. The guy was the biggest asshole you could ever imagine. He used to act like he was the greatest thing that ever lived. Apparently he's some well-respected director nowadays. The guy was a prick the whole six years I knew him. Asshole!

Dick was very nice.
 
2012-04-24 01:21:44 AM  

Guntram Shatterhand: It'll all be said when Checker rips off Clark's head at the funeral, spikes it, and then does a touchdown dance while various ushers try to tackle him.


I would love for that to happen.
 
2012-04-24 01:42:30 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: Guntram Shatterhand: It'll all be said when Checker rips off Clark's head at the funeral, spikes it, and then does a touchdown dance while various ushers try to tackle him.

I would love for that to happen.


I'd like to hope Chubby Checker has a little more class than that. Maybe just the touchdown dance would suffice. He could do the Twist on Clark's grave, maybe.
 
2012-04-24 07:38:33 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: Contents Under Pressure: Nothing like dignifying a harmless, well liked, and pleasant man with the intimate details of his death.

Uh, you should read up on his early career. He was just as deep into payola as all the other rock DJs in the 50s, but he was smart enough not to put his name on songs like Alan Freed did or take brides directly, so he managed to come out of the scandal with his name untarnished.

Ask Chubby Checker how he feels about Dick Clark sometimes; the answer will likely surprise you.


Ask me how I feel about him and his worthless offspring of his Nate Burkus!

/he was'nt that old
 
2012-04-24 08:37:01 AM  
ok ok let me try......

bandstand......dancing....new years eve....bloopers, pratical jokes....

always wanted to try a game show to see how far i would get. def wanna do something like fear factor. im not drinking donkey jizz tho
 
2012-04-25 02:43:19 AM  

MrEricSir: DanZero: Still a better headline than "Dick in the box"

FACT: You are incorrect.


You are WRONG. You win NOTHING.

GOOD DAY Sir.

/Dick in the Box was a bloody terrible headline.
 
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