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(New Musical Express)   Metallica: "We'd love to play Glastonbury." Glastonbury:   (nme.com) divider line 125
    More: Fail, Metallica, Glastonbury, The Gaslight Anthem, Download Festival, Kirk Hammett, Michael Eavis, James Hetfield, Modest Mouse  
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4685 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Apr 2012 at 10:59 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-23 03:43:24 PM  
It's been a great run and thanks for the memories but guys, let's not make this any more awkward than it already is. Thanks and have a nice life.
 
2012-04-23 04:03:49 PM  
Hmmm. Yeah. Lars. Dude. Your band rocked and we were into it. Then you biatched about us sharing your tunes with each other and we were forced to make fun of you and your Metallica cock rings and fire being bad. You made a movie about being in therapy, for fark's sake. What the fark could you possibly have to biatch about? You were Metallica. Seriously. The coolest, rockinest band going. What the fark happened to you?
 
2012-04-23 08:39:29 PM  
I bet it'll be some kinda monster.
 
2012-04-23 09:42:41 PM  
Just. Go. Away.

Seriously, guys. If you would have just gone away you would have been remembered fondly forever.

Do you remember Hulk Hogan of the '80s? If he'd have just walked away he would be remembered as one of the great entertainers of that industry, but instead people will remember a guy who inadvertently shakes his man-tits when he flexes his "pythons."

Do you remember Brett Favre? If he'd have just retired without all the drama he'd very possibly be remembered as the greatest quarterback of all time, no strings attached. Instead people quite largely remember him for the drama surrounding him for the past three years.

How about Ozzy Osbourne? If he'd have stopped touring after Ozzfest '97 people would have remembered a career spanning the late 60's through 90's that culminated when it came full circle and he toured with the original Black Sabbath line-up, giving a million people the chance to see a band that they thought they'd never get to see. Instead they'll remember a guy that practically has to get wheeled out on stage and just needs to stop touring and putting on shiatty performances.
 
2012-04-23 10:19:07 PM  

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Just. Go. Away.

Seriously, guys. If you would have just gone away you would have been remembered fondly forever.

Do you remember Hulk Hogan of the '80s? If he'd have just walked away he would be remembered as one of the great entertainers of that industry, but instead people will remember a guy who inadvertently shakes his man-tits when he flexes his "pythons."

Do you remember Brett Favre? If he'd have just retired without all the drama he'd very possibly be remembered as the greatest quarterback of all time, no strings attached. Instead people quite largely remember him for the drama surrounding him for the past three years.

How about Ozzy Osbourne? If he'd have stopped touring after Ozzfest '97 people would have remembered a career spanning the late 60's through 90's that culminated when it came full circle and he toured with the original Black Sabbath line-up, giving a million people the chance to see a band that they thought they'd never get to see. Instead they'll remember a guy that practically has to get wheeled out on stage and just needs to stop touring and putting on shiatty performances.


Hey, easyyyyy. Ozzy is the prince of mumble mumble darkmumble. If he comes through here at 96 I'll buy a ticket and watch him fall asleep at the mike holding onto his walker.
 
2012-04-23 11:05:37 PM  
FTFA: "We've got the Arctic Monkeys, Gaslight Anthem, Modest Mouse, Avenged Sevenfold, indie bands like Best Coast and we've got one stage for a lot of younger harder rock bands, a comedy thing going on, the lifestyle element - which is a lot of James Hetfield's car show, that whole culture of crazy cars, Kirk Hammett bringing his whole horror film thing. It's going to be a pretty full farking three days! But having your own festival, it's a pretty cool thing."

It's like Scooby Doo meets Kiss at the Amusement Park.
 
2012-04-23 11:24:14 PM  
So glad I got to see them live before they turned to total carp.
 
2012-04-23 11:25:51 PM  
For me, Metallica ended after Justice, although I did really like the newest album.
 
2012-04-23 11:25:53 PM  
Metallica was a fine band and all, but they were kinda sharp around the knees. I could understand some people liking them and all,,,, but I definitively wouldn't listen to them.
 
2012-04-23 11:42:48 PM  
Gather round children. It's CSB time.

James was in town for a hunting trip back when I was in jr. high and my mom was good friends with the lady whose husband organized the trip. She invited me and my mom to go over to their house to hang out with them, so I took my and my brothers cd's to have them signed and what not. Anyway, we were just sitting around talking about who knows what and he was pretty quiet the whole time up until all the women left the room to go do something and he leans over and rips a huge fart, takes a whiff, and says,"Mmmmm. Prime rib."

Funniest damn thing I've ever seen.
 
2012-04-23 11:44:26 PM  
For me they hit rock bottom with the video for St Anger. I had simply considered them dead and fondly remembered before then, but the end of the video where they gave a shout out to the inmates in San Quentin was too much. These guys are millionaires and the whole prison video thing reeked of corporate-level demographic focus group street cred bullcrap that I would expect of a band like Nickelback or Limp Bizkit.

Like Mountain Doo said, they had a great run but sorry guys, it's time to quit. You're the Eddie Murphy of metal, you used to be relevant but now you're a parody of yourselves. Like a remake of Spinal Tap but without any comedy.
 
2012-04-23 11:50:19 PM  
oblig
www.motifake.com
www.japemonster.com

I'll take motorhead over metallica any day of the week. And this is from a man who has a deep and personal hatred of Lemy.
 
2012-04-23 11:55:26 PM  
FTFA:Metallica will headline both nights, with Arctic Monkeys, The Gaslight Anthem, Avenged Sevenfold, Modest Mouse, Cage The Elephant, farked Up, Hot Snakes, Titus Andronicus, Best Coast, The Black Angels, The Sword, Liturgy also booked to play the event.


I hate it when I read shiat like this that only reminds me of how old I am.

/Master Of Puppets is in the top 3 greatest shows I've ever seen
 
2012-04-23 11:59:26 PM  
Haters gonna hate. Sure, they've put out some questionable albums and James voice is shot but it's still Metallica. They've earned the right to do whatever they want. And as much crap as they get for the Black album being the beginning of the end for them, it's pretty kick ass. Of Wolf and Man, Struggle Within, good songs.
 
2012-04-24 12:14:19 AM  

strangeguitar: For me, Metallica ended after Justice, although I did really like the newest album.


Very much this.
 
2012-04-24 12:17:11 AM  

Endzone108: Haters gonna hate. Sure, they've put out some questionable albums and James voice is shot but it's still Metallica. They've earned the right to do whatever they want. And as much crap as they get for the Black album being the beginning of the end for them, it's pretty kick ass. Of Wolf and Man, Struggle Within, good songs.


This is what I don't understand? So die hard Mitallica fans think they sucked after BlacK? Fark you fans,,, "Enter Sandman" "The Unforgiven" "Nothing Else Matters" "Wherever I May Roam" "Sad but True" fark you and the horse you rode in on. That shiat rocks and you're taste sucks.
 
2012-04-24 12:21:07 AM  
It's my fondest wish that I live long enough to see time travel become a reliable technology. I pray daily that i live that long, so that I might be able to go back to 1983 and see Metallica when they truly rocked.

And then I'll bring them back to 2012 and let them kick the asses of the old fat pretenders that they've become.

Screw Metallica, let them keep flailing about, trying to be relevant. It's amusing to me.
 
2012-04-24 12:27:27 AM  
Can we all just pretend for argument's sake that Death Magnetic came out in 87/88?
 
2012-04-24 12:32:21 AM  
Since we're arguing about which album is better, I'll chime in again. They were awesome until they said "With this album we wanted to go back to our roots". That album, and every album after, sucked.

Kill Em All and Ride the Lightning are the best
 
2012-04-24 12:35:36 AM  

LegacyDL: Can we all just pretend for argument's sake that Death Magnetic came out in 87/88?


No because then we'd have to also pretend it was well-written and properly mixed, or we'd have to pretend it was a sh*tty album they pissed out while Cliff was off somewhere sleeping off a hangover.

I'm a musician, so I know a lot of other musicians who, for some reason, still have a hard on for Metallica. The band's best work came out 25 years ago and has been overplayed to death. Seriously, there are so many other thrash metal bands whose work is no where near as played out and tired, as the three albums Metallica made that are worth a sh*t.

Vio-Lence
Nuclear Assault
Exodus
Overkill
Holy Moses
Destruction
Sodom

There, those were just off the top of my head, and they haven't been dry-humped to death by Clear Channel "classic rock" stations.
 
2012-04-24 12:35:43 AM  

Mini Ditka: FTFA:Metallica will headline both nights, with Arctic Monkeys, The Gaslight Anthem, Avenged Sevenfold, Modest Mouse, Cage The Elephant, farked Up, Hot Snakes, Titus Andronicus, Best Coast, The Black Angels, The Sword, Liturgy also booked to play the event.


Every band I have heard of on that list is at least 100x better than Metallica, and I am willing to doubt the ones I haven't heard of are as well.

/seriously, metal is somewhere below polka on the 'musical genres without any redeeming qualities whatsoever' totem poll.
 
2012-04-24 12:37:01 AM  
Maybe if they played that shiat sandwich they made with Lou Reed.
 
2012-04-24 12:39:36 AM  

ununcle:

This is what I don't understand? So die hard Mitallica fans think they sucked after BlacK? Fark you fans,,, "Enter Sandman" "The Unforgiven" "Nothing Else Matters" "Wherever I May Roam" "Sad but True" fark you and the horse you rode in on. That shiat rocks and you're taste sucks.


Wrong. They sucked after Master of Puppets. Justice was alright I guess. The Black Album had a hit single. A rock song no less. Get it straight.
 
2012-04-24 12:41:55 AM  

Giltric: Maybe if they played that shiat sandwich they made with Lou Reed.


You win the intartubes....
 
2012-04-24 12:43:05 AM  
lilplatinum

Why do I have the feeling that you have a pair of thick black frames, an equally thick beard and a t-shirt with a quirky ironic saying on it? And perhaps live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn or some equally "hipster-ish" locale? Just a feeling... stemming from your sub-moronic comment.
 
2012-04-24 12:52:14 AM  

darch: Why do I have the feeling that you have a pair of thick black frames, an equally thick beard and a t-shirt with a quirky ironic saying on it? And perhaps live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn or some equally "hipster-ish" locale? Just a feeling... stemming from your sub-moronic comment.


No clue why you get that feeling, perhaps because you suck at intuition? No glasses, clean shaven, suit (without any ironic accoutrements), and live in Germany - but hey, 0 out of 4 ain't bad.

Its nice to know that the ever expanding definition of Hipster on fark is now expanding to not liking Metal (and shiatty Metal at that).

I suppose
 
2012-04-24 12:54:49 AM  

darch: lilplatinum

Why do I have the feeling that you have a pair of thick black frames, an equally thick beard and a t-shirt with a quirky ironic saying on it? And perhaps live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn or some equally "hipster-ish" locale? Just a feeling... stemming from your sub-moronic comment.


Although, given the choice between chicks at hipster shows and overweight pale metal show hags, i'd certainly take the former...
 
kab
2012-04-24 12:58:18 AM  

ununcle: This is what I don't understand? So die hard Mitallica fans think they sucked after BlacK? Fark you fans,,, "Enter Sandman" "The Unforgiven" "Nothing Else Matters" "Wherever I May Roam" "Sad but True" fark you and the horse you rode in on. That shiat rocks and you're taste sucks.


Enter Sandman was Metallica's answer to VH's 'Jump'. Hugely popular, and up to that point, the flat out worst song they'd ever written. Time hasn't changed that.

I'm of two minds on this band. On one hand, anyone who's played music a long time will know firsthand that doing the same thing year after year simply doesn't work most of the time... so I can't blame them for wanting to change things up after AJFA.

On the other hand, it's also pretty apparent that as musicians, they've stopped evolving their craft a long time ago. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the guy behind the kit. The loose feel they're going for tends to not work in their favor most of the time, especially live. Death Magnetic was a good disc however, and was probably the first thing they've done in a very long time that sounded remotely like they cared about what they were doing.
 
2012-04-24 01:01:20 AM  
Although, given the choice between chicks at hipster shows and overweight pale metal show hags, i'd certainly take the former...

Big Kraftwerk fan are we?
 
kab
2012-04-24 01:05:18 AM  

lilplatinum: /seriously, metal is somewhere below polka on the 'musical genres without any redeeming qualities whatsoever' totem poll.


images.nonexiste.net
 
2012-04-24 01:06:43 AM  

Giltric: Maybe if they played that shiat sandwich they made with Lou Reed.


I was even thinking of have a symphonic orchestra playing behind them. That would be mint!
 
2012-04-24 01:06:44 AM  
static.nme.com
 
2012-04-24 01:08:57 AM  

darch: Although, given the choice between chicks at hipster shows and overweight pale metal show hags, i'd certainly take the former...

Big Kraftwerk fan are we?


Electronic music is pretty farking awful too. Its down their with Metal on my 'difficult to find any redeemable value in it', but there was a phase when I could handle it because I was taking large amounts of drugs regularly - so I suppose that means the totem poll of unlistenable music goes metal/industrial - polka - electronic music - nashville country
 
2012-04-24 01:09:33 AM  
The year Bonnaroo let Metallica in is the first year that I didn't go.
 
2012-04-24 01:12:30 AM  
Saw Ozzy when he played Camden, NJ last summer. Some rainy, crappy weather that day & against everything I expected, Ozzy rocked.

I dunno who did his meds that day, but they did a great job.

Metallica...In AC...For free tickets, yes. Otherwise, no.

/yet I know folks who want to see Motley & Kiss later this year(shudder) and I'll prob get dragged along
//but not sober
 
2012-04-24 01:15:14 AM  

kab: ununcle: This is what I don't understand? So die hard Mitallica fans think they sucked after BlacK? Fark you fans,,, "Enter Sandman" "The Unforgiven" "Nothing Else Matters" "Wherever I May Roam" "Sad but True" fark you and the horse you rode in on. That shiat rocks and you're taste sucks.

Enter Sandman was Metallica's answer to VH's 'Jump'. Hugely popular, and up to that point, the flat out worst song they'd ever written. Time hasn't changed that.

I'm of two minds on this band. On one hand, anyone who's played music a long time will know firsthand that doing the same thing year after year simply doesn't work most of the time... so I can't blame them for wanting to change things up after AJFA.

On the other hand, it's also pretty apparent that as musicians, they've stopped evolving their craft a long time ago. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the guy behind the kit. The loose feel they're going for tends to not work in their favor most of the time, especially live. Death Magnetic was a good disc however, and was probably the first thing they've done in a very long time that sounded remotely like they cared about what they were doing.


This response seems pretty well thought out, but how can "Sandman" be a response to "Jump" when it was recorded like 8 years later? Did they skip the Hagar years?
 
2012-04-24 01:29:28 AM  
 
2012-04-24 01:36:31 AM  
 
2012-04-24 01:36:32 AM  
Metallica was only good during the pre-Lars years.
 
2012-04-24 01:41:24 AM  
"I'm madly in anger with you."

Yeah, they tapped out long before that, but that....no, just farking no.
 
2012-04-24 01:49:36 AM  
I only liked Metallica before they started recording.
Fark you all.
Metallica rocks.
 
2012-04-24 01:54:36 AM  

domo_kun_sai: I only liked Metallica before they started recording.
Fark you all.
Metallica rocks.


Actually they where even better when they first started out as Iron Maiden, But even then they where better before they were born.
 
2012-04-24 02:07:55 AM  

lilplatinum: Mini Ditka: FTFA:Metallica will headline both nights, with Arctic Monkeys, The Gaslight Anthem, Avenged Sevenfold, Modest Mouse, Cage The Elephant, farked Up, Hot Snakes, Titus Andronicus, Best Coast, The Black Angels, The Sword, Liturgy also booked to play the event.

Every band I have heard of on that list is at least 100x better than Metallica, and I am willing to doubt the ones I haven't heard of are as well.

/seriously, metal is somewhere below polka on the 'musical genres without any redeeming qualities whatsoever' totem poll.


Interesting, because after jazz or classical, I'd say metal probably has more technically and musically proficient musicians per capita than any other genre. And while I do hate the majority of metal bands, saying a band like Modest Mouse is on another level is just laughable to me. They're a bunch of average musicians that occasionally get lucky coming up with simple hooks.
 
2012-04-24 02:15:03 AM  

Spad31: Hmmm. Yeah. Lars. Dude. Your band rocked and we were into it. Then you biatched about us sharing your tunes with each other and we were forced to make fun of you and your Metallica cock rings and fire being bad. You made a movie about being in therapy, for fark's sake. What the fark could you possibly have to biatch about? You were Metallica. Seriously. The coolest, rockinest band going. What the fark happened to you?


When did that douche become the band's leader?
 
2012-04-24 02:30:03 AM  

tattedupgirl: So glad I got to see them live before they turned to total carp.


Who, Black Sabbath? Yeah,me too, saw them in 1974. Get off my lawn
 
2012-04-24 02:39:46 AM  
I've seen Metallica, it was a show. Not a great performance, more of an actual show. Lighting guys getting "zapped" by rigs and hanging from cables. Boring.

I've seen shows, and they were metal. Pantera, Exodus, Suicidal Tendencies (same show), Overkill (at a benefit concert for some girl with a horrible disease in 1991 or 1990 at some community college in New Jersey), Anthrax, Testament, Megadeth, Soulfly. All of those were metal. I know I'm sounding like Manowar lyrics right now, heh, haven't seen them and don't want.

Metallica have lost it, they lost it the moment Burton went for a final spin in a bus. After the Black Album, all I have to say is thank God for Vulgar Display of Power. Even Megadeth, by some weird proxy also started sucking after Burton died. Everything after Rust in Peace was watered down. One band gets their own line.

Slayer.
 
2012-04-24 03:32:54 AM  
I made a Metallica playlist for my ipod last week after not listening to them at all after one play of Death Magnetic, and I agree, the band died with Cliff. Master of Puppets, For Whom the Bell Tolls, and especially Orion and Anesthesia will forever be my favorites.

Also although I never bought any of the post black album discs except Death Magnetic, I do like the song Fuel. It would be much better played by someone like Reverend Horton Heat, however.
 
2012-04-24 03:44:18 AM  
i40.tinypic.com

have some mo' coke Lars you shrimpy little bug eyed lisping moran.
 
2012-04-24 03:55:46 AM  
While I'm not a big fan of Death Magnetic, I think I'd rather listen to That Was Just Your Life and All Nightmare Long over some of the lesser early tracks.
 
2012-04-24 04:44:27 AM  
I saw them on the Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets tours, awesome shows.

Nickelback rocks harder then Metallica now, and that is sad.
 
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