FTFA: The owner was only half way through cataloguing the valuables stolen during the first raid and so was unable to say what else was taken, although his list of stolen items was itself taken.

Yo dawg, I heard you liked being robbed, so I robbed the list of stuff I robbed while robbing you.

I get the idea this might be personal... and they stole leathers?

I've been on Fark too long - assumed someone was having happy-fun-time with apples.

FTA:If the book How to burgle for dummies existed we're betting Ian Cronshaw wishes he'd read it before raiding a £1 million house in Devon.

and

Police were then able to identify him as he'd left his DNA all over the glass

I had a small apartment I lived in broken into once. I was sleeping when the noise woke me. I flipped on the bedroom light the robber fled. I found, outside the door, the butter knife used to pry open the door and found things inside disturbed in the few moments he had been in the house. I called for police and an officer came and did a report. I told him of the butter knife and things he had touched and asked about fingerprints to help catch the person and the cop LOL'd at me. Not mean or rude but just kind of a genuine 'How cute that you think we do those things.' I can't imagine what his response would have been had I asked for DNA testing.

Well I got her numba! How do you like dem apples?

/DNRTFA
//What the F*****CK is with that auto-playing video ad I couldn't pause?????
///THAT'S A REAL ASSHOLE MOVE

PizzaJedi81: FTFA: The owner was only half way through cataloguing the valuables stolen during the first raid and so was unable to say what else was taken, although his list of stolen items was itself taken.

Yo dawg, I heard you liked being robbed, so I robbed the list of stuff I robbed while robbing you.

Heh. Also:

I just love dumb criminal stories.

FTFA:

"... raiding a £1 million house in Devon ... and helped himself to a drink of cider."

For those unfamiliar with British cider there are basically two types - 1) the quality stuff, and 2) "white cider" which is a cheap high alcohol drink that is essentially equivalent to malt liquor in the US.

Since the burglar stopped to drink some cider I presume it was white. Anybody that owns a £1 million house and drinks white cider deserves to be burgled.

HairBolus: 2) "white cider" which is a cheap high alcohol drink that is essentially equivalent to malt liquor in the US.

I've heard it's made from apples...well, mostly apples.

*came for Applejack, leaving satisfied*

"on the rob"?

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: "on the rob"?

There is no action the hipsters haven't rechristened for their own satanic ends.

If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town
If it's clear and yella, you got juice there fella.

Someone broke into our summerhouse over the winter and took a huge shiat in the toilet. He couldn't flush because the water was shut off so we found it in the spring. This was before DNA testing.

PizzaJedi81: HairBolus: 2) "white cider" which is a cheap high alcohol drink that is essentially equivalent to malt liquor in the US.

I've heard it's made from apples...well, mostly apples.

New 2010 UK tax rules require "cider" to contain 35% "juice" (which is supposed to encourage domestic cider orchards) though they are pretty lax about what "juice" is, and still most of the alcohol comes from fermenting added sugar. Before 2010, there was no minimal required apple content.

Malt Liquor in the US has no national definition though there are some attempts at state definitions. I think "malt liquor" in which most of the alcohol comes from fermented corn syrup is legal in most places.

oops, Fark ate my link. Try again:

New 2010 UK tax rules