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(Google)   North Korea threatens to turn Seoul into "ashes in three or four minutes" using "unprecedented peculiar means and methods of our own style"   (google.com) divider line 238
    More: Scary, North Korea, Seoul, military officials, President Lee Myung, Special Forced, cyberwars, Kim Il Sung, food shortage  
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13529 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2012 at 4:25 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-23 04:42:21 PM
Wasn't that the name of the last A Tribe Called Quest album?
 
2012-04-23 04:42:21 PM
I didn't read the headline, I just thought 'flour bombs' for some obscure reason...
 
2012-04-23 04:42:31 PM
i881.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-23 04:43:21 PM

Rapmaster2000: Beaver1224:

The next morning, there are no more people in North Korea.

Which is a disaster for SK and China. Reunification of Korea is going to be much more difficult than it was for Germany. NK is much more backwards than East Germany was relative to West Germany.


Will never happen. It would spell the end of Korea as a player in Asian politics and economics. They would be reduced to a third world nation over one night. China would never allow it because western millitary basis are already close enough for their taste. North Korea is far to usefull to all parties to ever allow it to be anything than what it is now. Same with South Korea.
 
2012-04-23 04:43:23 PM
cbswnewhd.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-04-23 04:44:11 PM

NutznGum: Dogs with bees in their mouths?


No, the sea attack will be Sharks with Bees in their mouths, and the land attack will be Dogs with Fricken Laser Beams.
 
2012-04-23 04:44:24 PM

doczoidberg: They've got a super secret weapon, you see....


It's not going to fall apart this time, right?
 
2012-04-23 04:44:33 PM
trageser.com

/image is hot.
//I personally thought the book was kind of like Clancy lite.
 
2012-04-23 04:44:33 PM
Jesus, that turd rocket cost them $850 million? I could've gotten the same results from cheap Estes rocket from Walmart.
 
2012-04-23 04:44:40 PM

Eirik: Has anyone considered moving the seat of the South Korean government a bit further south, perhaps out of range of artillery fire/


Even if they do, there's still the matter of the 20 million or so people who live in the metropolitan area. They're a bit harder to move.

In any case, it's pretty much a deterrence situation -- even the North Koreans must know that Pyongyang will be a crater within hours of them opening fire.
 
2012-04-23 04:45:03 PM

NephilimNexus: Back in the real world, South Korea has the firepower to be a serious threat to that entire region if they wanted to. North Korea, being the first place that would get steamrollered should South Korea go insane and try to take over the world, is pretty nervous about this, and thus all the bluster to keep themselves from crapping their pants. However, until South Korea actually does lose their minds and try to take over the world, this fear is completely unjustified.

While some may question why the people in North Korea just don't overthrow their own regime, the answer is obvious: China uses North Korea as a shield, and does not like the idea of a "United Korea" caused by a South Korean invasion of the North. If there is one thing that North Koreans fear more than South Korea, it's China, and justifiably so.

Trapped between a rock and a hard place.


Well, also keep in mind that one of the few competent things that NK has been doing is their internal communication controls and propaganda. Which is odd, given how incompetent their external propaganda is. You'd think the country's elites, having been schooled overseas, would say "Man, we sound like retarded to the rest of the world."
 
2012-04-23 04:46:14 PM
Actually in all seriousness NK can vaporize Seoul and turn it into ashes. Even though their weaponry is outdated and mostly 1970's era Soviet pieces they have enough of them and are lethal enough to do just that.

Most Westerners don't realized that Seoul is a mere 35 miles from the DMZ!!! It is well within range of the hundreds of thousands of artilery pieces that will rain down on them... and in some ways it is harder for modern defenses to defeat such antiquated weaponry. As difficult as it is, it is still much easier to shoot down a few advance guided missiles than it is to shoot down hundreds of thousands 155 mm shells with high explosives raining down on you.
 
2012-04-23 04:46:42 PM
That's the kind of reaction I learned to expect from my ex, too.
 
2012-04-23 04:46:45 PM
First, they will construct a large wooden rabbit.
 
2012-04-23 04:46:51 PM

orclover: Rapmaster2000: Beaver1224:

The next morning, there are no more people in North Korea.

Which is a disaster for SK and China. Reunification of Korea is going to be much more difficult than it was for Germany. NK is much more backwards than East Germany was relative to West Germany.

Will never happen. It would spell the end of Korea as a player in Asian politics and economics. They would be reduced to a third world nation over one night. China would never allow it because western millitary basis are already close enough for their taste. North Korea is far to usefull to all parties to ever allow it to be anything than what it is now. Same with South Korea.


You also have to take into account the fact that there is a significant portion of the NK population that will not respond as favorably as you think to such things. Sure, they'll probably like the chicken but they'll have no idea what a "Happy Meal" is. After a few dozen of their neighbors (and their families) vanish because they collected or ate what was dropped instead of turning it over to the state it will be even less of a contest.

North Korea is not a nation waiting with bated breath to be liberated.
 
2012-04-23 04:48:19 PM

SN1987a goes boom: Jesus, that turd rocket cost them $850 million? I could've gotten the same results from cheap Estes rocket from Walmart.


When I heard that their rocket asploded I was wondering where they get all their parts for it, where does the metal come from and whatnot. It seems like some below grade impure metals or a fuel mix that burns too hot or whatever would shiatcan the whole thing. The Chinese tollerate the NK but they really don't want them to be causing trouble beyond the borders of Korea, so I could see them actually sending the north koreans shiatty materials.
 
2012-04-23 04:48:41 PM

spentmiles: I'm hiking in North Korea next week, under the invitation of Kim Jong-un, so don't bomb it yet!

You have to understand Kim Jong-un's manner of speaking. He's very forceful and committed to the truth. People get aroused and frightened by his boisterousness, but he's a sensible man with deep sensitivities.

I wish the world would take a moment to get to know him.


Heh.
It was your famous "hiking in North Korea" thread that I first became aware of your talents, and that resulted in my farkie-ing you as "Trollerific & Trolltastic".
Thanks for the call back!

/And, do be careful in Best Korea...
 
2012-04-23 04:49:17 PM

Headso: When I heard that their rocket asploded I was wondering where they get all their parts for it, where does the metal come from and whatnot. It seems like some below grade impure metals or a fuel mix that burns too hot or whatever would shiatcan the whole thing. The Chinese tollerate the NK but they really don't want them to be causing trouble beyond the borders of Korea, so I could see them actually sending the north koreans shiatty materials.


From what I've read, they have trouble finding glass without ripples in it for windows.
 
2012-04-23 04:49:20 PM

orclover: Rapmaster2000: Beaver1224:

The next morning, there are no more people in North Korea.

Which is a disaster for SK and China. Reunification of Korea is going to be much more difficult than it was for Germany. NK is much more backwards than East Germany was relative to West Germany.

Will never happen. It would spell the end of Korea as a player in Asian politics and economics. They would be reduced to a third world nation over one night. China would never allow it because western millitary basis are already close enough for their taste. North Korea is far to usefull to all parties to ever allow it to be anything than what it is now. Same with South Korea.


Don't forget on the flipside that an open Korea is a threat to the US economy. As a developing nation both Norht and South Korea would compete the cost of US steel and steel made products downwards, which is more than China can say for themselves and their disposable trinkets (although cannibalistic Western influence is working to change that as well)
 
2012-04-23 04:50:11 PM
When Seoul is Ashes, you have my permission to die.

www.inquisitr.com
 
2012-04-23 04:50:20 PM

Arkanaut: Eirik: Has anyone considered moving the seat of the South Korean government a bit further south, perhaps out of range of artillery fire/

Even if they do, there's still the matter of the 20 million or so people who live in the metropolitan area. They're a bit harder to move.

In any case, it's pretty much a deterrence situation -- even the North Koreans must know that Pyongyang will be a crater within hours of them opening fire.


Unfortunately, NK has enough guns in the mountains around Seoul to cause serious damage regardless of what is done to Pyongyang. NK has a deterrent and they know it. Our glass parking log bravado is of little comfort to the residents of Seoul.

North Korea's armoured forces are estimated to include some 3,500 main battle tanks (MBTs), 3,000 armoured personnel carriers and light tanks, and more than 10,000 heavy-calibre artillery pieces, many of which are self-propelled. The MBT force primarily comprises older T-54/55/59 models, but includes some 800 indigenously produced T-62s. Of the estimated 10,000 or so artillery pieces in the North Korean inventory, a considerable number are pre-deployed, in range of Seoul; additional artillery could be moved forward to fortified firing positions at short notice. Of particular concern to Seoul are Pyongyang's 240mm multiple rocket launchers (capable of simultaneously firing 16-18 rockets), its 152mm and 170mm towed and self-propelled artillery pieces, and its mobile FROG systems - all of which are capable of delivering chemical and biological agents as well as conventional high-explosives. In addition, the ground forces have about 7,500 mortars, several hundred surface-to-surface missiles, 11,000 air defence guns, 10,000 surface-to-air missiles, and numerous anti-tank guided weapons.
 
2012-04-23 04:50:30 PM
ts1.mm.bing.net

Shrink Ray. It's a Shrink-Ray located in a secret lab.

Many minions died to bring us this information.
 
2012-04-23 04:50:47 PM

TXEric: spentmiles: I'm hiking in North Korea next week, under the invitation of Kim Jong-un, so don't bomb it yet!

You have to understand Kim Jong-un's manner of speaking. He's very forceful and committed to the truth. People get aroused and frightened by his boisterousness, but he's a sensible man with deep sensitivities.

I wish the world would take a moment to get to know him.

Heh.
It was your famous "hiking in North Korea" thread that I first became aware of your talents, and that resulted in my farkie-ing you as "Trollerific & Trolltastic".
Thanks for the call back!

/And, do be careful in Best Korea...


Funny I have him favorited as "The Anti Pocket Ninja"
 
2012-04-23 04:51:04 PM

SN1987a goes boom: turd rocket


and boob rocket too.


craziestgadgets.com
 
2012-04-23 04:51:11 PM
From TFA: "The easiest option will be cyber terror..."

Whut!? They're gonna DDOS S.K. from their AOL dial up account?

/StoOpid journalists.
 
2012-04-23 04:51:54 PM

NephilimNexus: Back in the real world, South Korea has the firepower to be a serious threat to that entire region if they wanted to. North Korea, being the first place that would get steamrollered should South Korea go insane and try to take over the world, is pretty nervous about this, and thus all the bluster to keep themselves from crapping their pants. However, until South Korea actually does lose their minds and try to take over the world, this fear is completely unjustified.


Most of South Korea is too busy gold farming on MMPORGS to care.
 
2012-04-23 04:52:04 PM

TXEric: spentmiles: I'm hiking in North Korea next week, under the invitation of Kim Jong-un, so don't bomb it yet!

You have to understand Kim Jong-un's manner of speaking. He's very forceful and committed to the truth. People get aroused and frightened by his boisterousness, but he's a sensible man with deep sensitivities.

I wish the world would take a moment to get to know him.

Heh.
It was your famous "hiking in North Korea" thread that I first became aware of your talents, and that resulted in my farkie-ing you as "Trollerific & Trolltastic".
Thanks for the call back!

/And, do be careful in Best Korea...


A troll account is still a troll account.

I still vote for tying him to MeowSaidtheDog by the testicles and then launch them with a missile into Canada, Detroit, or the Moon. Or all three. At the same time. Though, that might require three missiles..
 
2012-04-23 04:52:21 PM
This is a good time to post this:

Operation Nukorea

And there's never a bad time to post this:

Cunnilingus in North Korea (NSFW language unless you work in Best Korea!)
 
2012-04-23 04:52:22 PM
I'm sure many countries have already made clear to this wingnut that if they try ANYHING, North Korea will cease to exist.
 
2012-04-23 04:52:40 PM
I was in the ROK when Kim Il Sung died they sabre rattled like this then too. Had 2ID all up in arms when the Great Leader died...
 
2012-04-23 04:55:05 PM

cman: STFU, this is imperialistic American propaganda

-----------------
yea...I'm sure FauxNews & the like are loving this eh. Let alone, Pat Robertson & the pope.
 
2012-04-23 04:56:44 PM

Sybarite: Idiom, sir?


Yes! Idiom!

/ and done.
 
2012-04-23 04:57:40 PM
I agree with something an earlier poster mentioned. Just give China a few miles of NK for a DMZ buffer to keep the Reds happy in exchange for their pressure to bounce NK off their teat.

Reunify Korea. Sure it will be tough, but could the money we spend on them be much different if it went to food and social programs instead of really cool arms to keep NK at bay?

Keep the North and South separate for a few years so the NK residents can be brought up to speed--sort of like a quarantine for the culturally retarded. Then re-integrate them slowly.
 
2012-04-23 04:58:36 PM

Satanic_Hamster: TXEric: spentmiles: I'm hiking in North Korea next week, under the invitation of Kim Jong-un, so don't bomb it yet!

You have to understand Kim Jong-un's manner of speaking. He's very forceful and committed to the truth. People get aroused and frightened by his boisterousness, but he's a sensible man with deep sensitivities.

I wish the world would take a moment to get to know him.

Heh.
It was your famous "hiking in North Korea" thread that I first became aware of your talents, and that resulted in my farkie-ing you as "Trollerific & Trolltastic".
Thanks for the call back!

/And, do be careful in Best Korea...

A troll account is still a troll account.

I still vote for tying him to MeowSaidtheDog by the testicles and then launch them with a missile into Canada, Detroit, or the Moon. Or all three. At the same time. Though, that might require three missiles..


I have found in my many experiences that the people who have the most difficult anger towards the commenters on Fark.com are people who have the fat problems and foolish habits that keep them from enjoying relations with the opposite sex.
 
2012-04-23 05:00:15 PM

SuperNinjaToad: Actually in all seriousness NK can vaporize Seoul and turn it into ashes. Even though their weaponry is outdated and mostly 1970's era Soviet pieces they have enough of them and are lethal enough to do just that.

Most Westerners don't realized that Seoul is a mere 35 miles from the DMZ!!! It is well within range of the hundreds of thousands of artilery pieces that will rain down on them... and in some ways it is harder for modern defenses to defeat such antiquated weaponry. As difficult as it is, it is still much easier to shoot down a few advance guided missiles than it is to shoot down hundreds of thousands 155 mm shells with high explosives raining down on you.


With respect, a 155 mm howitzer has a range of a bit over 9 miles. Still, North Korea has thousands of mostly obsolete tanks that would no doubt be blitzing toward Seoul. Add to that what amounts to thousands of uniformed terrorists pretending to be spec ops who have only one function--go South, blow up shiat, and I don't envy the South Korean position.

Thus if you're going to go, go big with a preemptive strike and decapitate the beast. Of course China will be pissed. They like their buffer state. Hate North Korea and the way it treats its people? blame China. North Korea literally wouldn't exist otherwise.
 
2012-04-23 05:01:05 PM
static-l3.blogcritics.org

/It's all about Seoul.
 
2012-04-23 05:01:30 PM
This takes me back to that flash movie someone on 2ch made several years ago. Wish someone would update it so that the Zeta Gundam makes only North Korea disappear instead of the whole thing...
 
2012-04-23 05:02:23 PM

Arkanaut: In any case, it's pretty much a deterrence situation -- even the North Koreans must know that Pyongyang will be a crater within hours of them opening fire.


True, but the North would inflict a whole lotta damage in a couple hours.

source: globalsecurity.org

"According to one report, a South Korean security analyst suggested that DPRK artillery pieces of calibers 170mm and 240mm "could fire 10,000 rounds per minute to Seoul and its environs." The number of Koksan guns is not publicly reported, but it is reliably reported that North Korea has about 500 long-range artillery tubes within range of Seoul, double the levels of a the mid-1990s. Large caliber self propelled artillery pieces typically have a sustained rate of fire of between four and eight rounds per minute. This suggests a total rate of fire of artillery alone of between 2,000 and 4,000 rounds per minute. The DPRK's two hundred 240mm MRLs fire either 12 or 22 rounds, providing a maximum single salvo of no more than 4,400 rounds. "

10,000 rounds per minute times 120 minutes = 1.2 million rounds of pretty heavy ordnance.
 
2012-04-23 05:03:01 PM
Seoul is ready for them. They have anti-aircraft weapons on top of hotels and office buildings and hidden behind billboards and other structures on the hillsides. I've also heard rumors of certain bridges and tunnels being rigged with explosives so that they can be taken out in case of a land invasion but can't confirm if it's true. I did see one of the anti-aircraft guns though.
 
2012-04-23 05:03:42 PM

candiru.fish: This is a good time to post this:

Operation Nukorea

And there's never a bad time to post this:

Cunnilingus in North Korea (NSFW language unless you work in Best Korea!)


This site is mesmerizing, and I think it's making me insane.
 
2012-04-23 05:04:01 PM

alwaysjaded: [i881.photobucket.com image 460x391]


Que the SLBM UGM-133 Trident II two minutes later.
 
2012-04-23 05:04:52 PM
Problem for North Korea: Not if the Chinese have anything to say about it. They don't want anything to screw up their economic power in the Far East.
 
2012-04-23 05:05:07 PM

airsupport: mjjt: wow a whole George Zimmerman country

I don't get this. Please help me understand your analogy.


Mebbe it is because either one would kill you for a bag of skittles and an ice tea?
 
2012-04-23 05:05:55 PM

Satanic_Hamster: TXEric: spentmiles: I'm hiking in North Korea next week, under the invitation of Kim Jong-un, so don't bomb it yet!

You have to understand Kim Jong-un's manner of speaking. He's very forceful and committed to the truth. People get aroused and frightened by his boisterousness, but he's a sensible man with deep sensitivities.

I wish the world would take a moment to get to know him.

Heh.
It was your famous "hiking in North Korea" thread that I first became aware of your talents, and that resulted in my farkie-ing you as "Trollerific & Trolltastic".
Thanks for the call back!

/And, do be careful in Best Korea...

A troll account is still a troll account.

I still vote for tying him to MeowSaidtheDog by the testicles and then launch them with a missile into Canada, Detroit, or the Moon. Or all three. At the same time. Though, that might require three missiles..


No, no, no... MSTD is one of the best here!
I'm convinced that trying to decipher that prose is what is going to save me from developing Alzheimer's in later life.

/Better than a crossword or Sudoku.
 
2012-04-23 05:07:16 PM
North/South they both look the same to me.
clunkline.com
 
2012-04-23 05:07:27 PM
the group of rat-like elements including conservative media destroying the mainstay of the fair public opinion

Fox News?
 
2012-04-23 05:07:32 PM
"Anybody got a match so we can light this fuse? Anybody? You? You got ... OK, never mind. Anybody got TWO FREAKIN' STICKS??"
 
2012-04-23 05:07:39 PM

9beers: Seoul is ready for them. They have anti-aircraft weapons on top of hotels and office buildings and hidden behind billboards and other structures on the hillsides. I've also heard rumors of certain bridges and tunnels being rigged with explosives so that they can be taken out in case of a land invasion but can't confirm if it's true. I did see one of the anti-aircraft guns though.


I do not believe anti-aircraft weapons and collapsed tunnels are considered particularly effective counters to artillery.
 
2012-04-23 05:10:43 PM

rudemix: Why people in the US lobby for war so often when we are broke and lacking leaders that know how to wage war, and even worse how to wage peace when it's over I'll never know.


can i borrow someones rudemix to fark translator so i can understand what the fark?
 
2012-04-23 05:11:27 PM

Hypothetical Imperative: I do not believe anti-aircraft weapons and collapsed tunnels are considered particularly effective counters to artillery.


Yeah, they're kind of farked on that front.
 
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