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(Daily Mail)   'Real-life Barbie' from Russia seeks to be the world's most convincing doll. I wonder if she's had her genitalia removed?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 92
    More: Weird, Russia  
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24368 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2012 at 10:31 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-23 09:57:15 AM
So she's just another blond who looks like all the oth...GAH! What the hell is that thing!
 
2012-04-23 10:29:51 AM
A Fox News anchor in 3..2...
 
2012-04-23 10:32:44 AM
Hmmm.... how strange is it that I'm not attracted to her at all?
 
2012-04-23 10:33:00 AM
This is something I could get behind
 
2012-04-23 10:35:22 AM
She prolly already has a boyfriend that helped her pay to look like that..

/drtfa
 
2012-04-23 10:35:29 AM
horsegoeswest.com
 
2012-04-23 10:36:27 AM

cookiefleck: She prolly already has a boyfriend that helped her pay to look like that..

/drtfa


Some millionaire named Ken something. I think he lives in Malibu.
 
2012-04-23 10:36:49 AM
I am looking for a particular TFer in this thread.
 
2012-04-23 10:37:32 AM
Okay, she has really creepy dead/vacant eyes. That's why she looks like a doll.
 
2012-04-23 10:38:25 AM
But more importantly subby, is she a doctor/lawyer/teacher/astronaut/housewife/sister/mother/veterinarian?
 
2012-04-23 10:39:03 AM
Creepy....and yet....creephittable?
 
2012-04-23 10:39:09 AM
That's just creepy!
 
2012-04-23 10:39:11 AM
21-year-old Valeria Lukyanova, from Russia,

21-year-old Ukrainian model Valeria Lukyanova


So which is it?
 
2012-04-23 10:40:12 AM
How it would go:

I follow her to her bedroom strangely aroused but with a nagging thought in the back of my mind. Those empty, soulless eyes and that blank emotionless face. I watch her undress while removing my own clothes, surprised to find I'm already at attention. She turns around and suddenly a hellmouth erupts from her stomach swallowing me into eternal torment.

All that remains of me is a pile of limp clothes and the feint whiff of brimstone.
 
2012-04-23 10:41:29 AM
Those pix made me think of the line from Jaws about shark eyes
 
2012-04-23 10:41:59 AM

Liliac_Hill: Okay, she has really creepy dead/vacant eyes. That's why she looks like a doll.


There's only two ways to get eyes like that. Either she's so stupid that there's barely even a person in there or that girl has seen some shiat in her life. I'm talking Japanese horror movie shiat.
 
2012-04-23 10:42:07 AM
Valeria Lukyanova, a seamstress in Almetyevsk province, arrived home from her twelve hour shift to find her husband Andrei Nikolaevich drunk and lying on the floor. A dirty plate sat beside him, covered with ash and the smashed butts of cigarettes. Andrei groaned in agony.

"What is it you?" demanded Valeria.

"I have a pain in my stomach. Earlier there was blood," complained Andrei.

"Do you want me to call for your uncle. He's a doctor, you know."

While Andrei considered his uncle, a snide little man, Andrei poured herself a drinking glass of vodka.

Finally Andrei said, "No, do not call him. I feel a bit better now and he will charge me."

Outside, in the hallway, a woman yelled for her pet cat as the clock in the foyer drowsily struck seven.
 
2012-04-23 10:42:20 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk
Yes........99.999999% of you would and you know it.
 
2012-04-23 10:42:42 AM
30.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-23 10:42:51 AM

imontheinternet: Liliac_Hill: Okay, she has really creepy dead/vacant eyes. That's why she looks like a doll.

There's only two ways to get eyes like that. Either she's so stupid that there's barely even a person in there or that girl has seen some shiat in her life. I'm talking Japanese horror movie shiat.


2.bp.blogspot.com
Ex-husband says "go on..."
 
2012-04-23 10:43:15 AM
She sould be an actress....she has such a wonderful range of expression.
 
2012-04-23 10:44:12 AM
img51.imageshack.us
 
2012-04-23 10:45:55 AM

spentmiles: Valeria Lukyanova, a seamstress in Almetyevsk province, arrived home from her twelve hour shift to find her husband Andrei Nikolaevich drunk and lying on the floor. A dirty plate sat beside him, covered with ash and the smashed butts of cigarettes. Andrei groaned in agony.

"What is it you?" demanded Valeria.

"I have a pain in my stomach. Earlier there was blood," complained Andrei.

"Do you want me to call for your uncle. He's a doctor, you know."

While Andrei considered his uncle, a snide little man, Andrei poured herself a drinking glass of vodka.

Finally Andrei said, "No, do not call him. I feel a bit better now and he will charge me."

Outside, in the hallway, a woman yelled for her pet cat as the clock in the foyer drowsily struck seven.


Where the fark have you been???
 
2012-04-23 10:46:37 AM
I don't know why she creeps me out, but she does.
 
2012-04-23 10:47:27 AM

spentmiles: Valeria Lukyanova, a seamstress in Almetyevsk province, arrived home from her twelve hour shift to find her husband Andrei Nikolaevich drunk and lying on the floor. A dirty plate sat beside him, covered with ash and the smashed butts of cigarettes. Andrei groaned in agony.

"What is it you?" demanded Valeria.

"I have a pain in my stomach. Earlier there was blood," complained Andrei.

"Do you want me to call for your uncle. He's a doctor, you know."

While Andrei considered his uncle, a snide little man, Andrei poured herself a drinking glass of vodka.

Finally Andrei said, "No, do not call him. I feel a bit better now and he will charge me."

Outside, in the hallway, a woman yelled for her pet cat as the clock in the foyer drowsily struck seven.


You want to try that again? And this time get the names right?
 
2012-04-23 10:47:46 AM

The AlbinoSaxon: 21-year-old Valeria Lukyanova, from Russia,

21-year-old Ukrainian model Valeria Lukyanova

So which is it?


21-year-old model from Uncanny Valley.
 
2012-04-23 10:49:58 AM
If you see this ad on eBay or elsewhere, for God's sake don't answer it:

Living Barbie Doll seeks a special man to be her Ken.
 
2012-04-23 10:51:02 AM
I'd let her have sex with me.
 
2012-04-23 10:51:34 AM
I would; skip the weird makeup and her face/eyes looks like a friend of mine. She actually looks really good in that bikini on the boat shot. Tits look fake, but not bad in that shot, and she doesn't look anorexic skinny, has some hips goin on.
 
2012-04-23 10:55:17 AM
Barbie genitals = labiaplasty

/haz a sad for women
 
2012-04-23 10:56:18 AM
It's a blonde Kirsten Stewart.
 
2012-04-23 10:57:20 AM
She looks fine.
A little odd, but still good arm-candy.
 
2012-04-23 10:58:38 AM
I'm placing my bets on "high maintenance".
 
2012-04-23 11:02:16 AM
This one is better...there is still a bit of life in the eyes.

media1.break.com
 
2012-04-23 11:03:27 AM
This is sickening. I mean, seriously, what kind of demented people want to look like that? What happened to looking like normal, healthy people?
 
2012-04-23 11:06:52 AM
Her waist to hip ratio is freakish, but still she's fairly hot.
 
2012-04-23 11:11:10 AM

Kit Fister: This is sickening. I mean, seriously, what kind of demented people want to look like that? What happened to looking like normal, healthy people?


Marketing.
 
2012-04-23 11:12:27 AM

Kit Fister: This is sickening. I mean, seriously, what kind of demented people want to look like that? What happened to looking like normal, healthy people?


Compared to lumpy mamushkas, she's as normal and healthy as it gets.
 
2012-04-23 11:12:40 AM
Looks like one of those very expensive realistic fark dolls that are available.
 
2012-04-23 11:14:16 AM
sharp knees
 
2012-04-23 11:14:24 AM
yeah, this is gross and probably one of those poor life choices.
 
2012-04-23 11:14:32 AM

May I spooge on your face: 21-year-old model from Uncanny Valley.


Yeah, I was going to say that I've never seen the uncanny valley approached from that side before.
 
2012-04-23 11:15:14 AM
Yay Barbie Opens in new window.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-23 11:19:03 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk

the nineties called. they want their jeans back.
 
2012-04-23 11:20:17 AM
What's her FARK handle?
 
2012-04-23 11:20:41 AM
I want to be like Barbie...the biatch has everything
 
2012-04-23 11:21:01 AM
Ken tells the bartender his marriage was a failure because Barbie and Ken have no genitalia
 
2012-04-23 11:23:48 AM
I would keep her in my closet and bring her out on those lonely nights when I needed a little company, then bang her like a screen door in a hurricane.
 
2012-04-23 11:29:25 AM
I like the way she looked in the dress down pictures much better than the others.
 
2012-04-23 11:30:31 AM
She's unpleasant to look at.
 
2012-04-23 11:35:03 AM
imontheinternet: There's only two ways to get eyes like that. Either she's so stupid that there's barely even a person in there or that girl has seen some shiat in her life. I'm talking Japanese horror movie shiat.

From Eastern Bloc Europe? I'd guess the latter pretty easily.
 
2012-04-23 11:35:27 AM

ricochet4: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x469]

the nineties called. they want their jeans back.


This is Russia.

They just got those jeans...and PM Dawn.
 
2012-04-23 11:37:55 AM
Dolled up: Disturbing.

Otherwise: Smokin'
 
2012-04-23 11:40:36 AM
I have the most unreal boner right now.
 
2012-04-23 11:45:00 AM

the_immoral_minority: What's her FARK handle?


little blonde jug
 
2012-04-23 11:55:06 AM

Kit Fister: This is sickening. I mean, seriously, what kind of demented people want to look like that? What happened to looking like normal, healthy people?


More to the point, why does Barbie look nothing like an actual human, to the point where women who attempt to look like Barbie end up repellant?
 
2012-04-23 11:56:56 AM

ricochet4: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x469]

the nineties called. they want their jeans back.


To be fair, the nineties' jeans were taken used and sold to Russia.
 
2012-04-23 11:58:00 AM
Subby: we can only hope. Sterilization at minimum I say.
 
2012-04-23 11:58:30 AM
I bet she has lots of interesting things to say.
 
2012-04-23 11:58:44 AM

Sin_City_Superhero: I'd let her have sex with me.


I'd let her have sex with you also. Sounds like you need it.
 
2012-04-23 11:59:42 AM

Sofa King Smart: the_immoral_minority: What's her FARK handle?

little blonde jug



Well done
 
2012-04-23 12:04:49 PM
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation.
 
2012-04-23 12:07:20 PM
I think I saw her in the passenger seat in a car in a HOV lane in Dallas.
 
2012-04-23 12:09:39 PM
I wish she didn't feel the need to suck in her gut in all those shots. Among other things, of course.

/you know if you ever met her, the first words out her mouth would be complaints about how ugly she is
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-04-23 12:30:44 PM
Wait until sexbots become practical. I'll bet they will look like bug-eyed magna freaks.

fc06.deviantart.net
 
2012-04-23 12:52:57 PM
I don't want to sleep with her. She's just not doing it for me. Yeah I get that she's got what every man is being led to believe he wants by the media conglomerates, But I just don't think she's hot. I'd climb on top of her and she'd break like a twig, not because I'm the most virile man with the largest penis (despite it's ,and I'm quoting from an ex or two here, "FINE" size) she has no padding, she'd be ripped to shreds by the wild undulations of my brillo like chest hairs.
 
2012-04-23 01:09:16 PM
... not even with a ten foot pole ....
 
2012-04-23 01:10:03 PM
 
2012-04-23 01:14:10 PM
A real doll that moves?!?!?

She does seem to have the crazy eyes. I would hit it but not tell her my real name.
 
2012-04-23 01:15:26 PM
i172.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-23 01:24:07 PM
I wonder how it feels to sleep in the Uncanny Valley?
 
2012-04-23 01:38:00 PM
In a heartbeat

/that's about how long it'd last too *b-dum tish*
//don't forget to tip your veal
///try the waitress
 
2012-04-23 01:56:00 PM
If she has it removed, can I have it?
 
2012-04-23 01:57:42 PM
www.cinemaretro.com
"She's got lifeless eyes...like a doll's eyes"
 
2012-04-23 02:10:55 PM
Wouldn't you be afraid if you are banging her, you'd start sweating, both of you getting hot and she would end up melting?

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-23 02:20:31 PM

Mayhem of the Black Underclass: I don't want to sleep with her. She's just not doing it for me. Yeah I get that she's got what every man is being led to believe he wants by the media conglomerates, But I just don't think she's hot. I'd climb on top of her and she'd break like a twig, not because I'm the most virile man with the largest penis (despite it's ,and I'm quoting from an ex or two here, "FINE" size) she has no padding, she'd be ripped to shreds by the wild undulations of my brillo like chest hairs.


You sound fat, and I'm sure your ex was just being polite.

/studman69 - is that you?
 
2012-04-23 02:49:04 PM
World's most unconvincing human =/= world's most convincing doll.
 
2012-04-23 03:20:40 PM
I would have sooo much sex on her....
 
2012-04-23 04:22:23 PM
Buncha lying-assed Studman69s in this thread.
 
2012-04-23 04:36:13 PM
That's right in the middle of uncanny valley for me. I'd rather screw a blow-up doll. At least those can be deflated and put away instead of having it stare at me through the slats in my closet door.

The thought of a full-size female Chucky coming after me in revenge for the unspeakable acts I've been doing with her is the stuff of nightmares.

/A South-Asian slave girl would probably be cheaper anyways.
//Not that I would know anything about that.
 
2012-04-23 04:41:03 PM
I would hit it...then wonder why did I fark a blow up doll?
 
2012-04-23 08:01:00 PM

NationalHero: Buncha lying-assed Studman69s in this thread.


She's not so beautiful that I'd ignore her personality. Let's just leave it at that.
 
B A [TotalFark]
2012-04-23 11:33:22 PM
I would hit it. Only way to know for sure if she's real.
 
2012-04-23 11:52:09 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk
I swear that is a Real Doll...
 
2012-04-24 06:51:01 AM
Has Kwame seen this thread yet?
 
2012-04-24 08:47:05 AM
Is it bad that I want to fark the shait out of that person??
I do not know why I do.

If so i'll feel bad about it
 
2012-04-24 09:10:55 AM

CoolHandLucas: [30.media.tumblr.com image 400x534]


Came to say this... Oh, and did anyone check her for a pulse? She looks like she could be a new line of Zombie Barbies.
 
2012-04-24 09:53:15 AM
She looks alot like the Courtney Stoddden AW bot. Are they both Ukranian? Do Ukrans just pop 'em out this way?
 
2012-04-24 06:18:51 PM
I'm not saying this is how women should look, or that I would enter into a committed relationship with such a woman...

But you're all lying (or gay) if you scream "Oh god she's hideous! Sharp knees, begone!"

We would all do our best to wreck that, even if we were too proud to tell our friends about it the next day.

I'm sure she's annoying in bed though..."Do it like this. Don't touch me there. Etc" not to mention the feeling of plastic mixed with cocoa butter.
 
2012-04-24 07:59:31 PM

malkore: I'm not saying this is how women should look, or that I would enter into a committed relationship with such a woman...

But you're all lying (or gay) if you scream "Oh god she's hideous! Sharp knees, begone!"

We would all do our best to wreck that, even if we were too proud to tell our friends about it the next day.

I'm sure she's annoying in bed though..."Do it like this. Don't touch me there. Etc" not to mention the feeling of plastic mixed with cocoa butter.


Yeah, but she'd be saying it in Russian so it might as well be moonspeak. The only real trouble would be playing bronco rider when she's had enough of not being understood.
 
2012-04-24 08:05:46 PM
Her back is going to hurt soooo bad one day she is going to wish she was dead.

Naturally big boobed girl here ... just sayin'.
 
2012-04-24 08:14:51 PM

jodieleigh: Her back is going to hurt soooo bad one day she is going to wish she was dead.

Naturally big boobed girl here ... just sayin'.


attachments.conceptart.org

Noted anatomist Dr. Liefeld says everything will be just fine.
 
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