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(Canoe)   Freak hands out Tylenol, dog food as Halloween treats   (canoe.ca ) divider line
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11074 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Nov 2003 at 6:33 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-11-01 04:38:02 PM  
We were yelling, 'Check the bags, check the bags now.' When you're giving a child an adult's dose of any medicine, you're risking their life," she said.

This drama queen needs to take a pill.
 
2003-11-01 06:36:39 PM  
so I ran out of candy
 
2003-11-01 06:36:54 PM  
better than the bullion cubes and menthol cough drops i was handing out...
 
2003-11-01 06:37:58 PM  
Or the cans of PBR I gave out.....
 
2003-11-01 06:38:05 PM  
Only in London. Probably some drunk hillbilly townie.
 
2003-11-01 06:38:32 PM  
Images of apples laced with razor blades and other harrowing Halloween horror stories flashed through parent Susan Slaughter's mind when two pre-teen boys warned her about the offerings.


Yea, because dog food = razor blades. It's not like he hid the dog food in a candy apple. Though that would make a nice treat.... mmm...
 
2003-11-01 06:39:20 PM  
Aww, the poor dude. He didn't have an Halloween candy to give out, so what was he to do? Give out cans of mushrooms? Condoms? Of course, chewable vitamins may have been a better choice....
 
2003-11-01 06:39:58 PM  
THE BASTARD!

He stole my grandma's secret ingredients to her "Doggie-Headache-Relief-Gumbo"!
 
2003-11-01 06:40:24 PM  
damn, those are some crappy treats. I remember back in the day when some people actually gave away money. This old couple in particular liked to hand out silver dollars. I can say that their house was easily the most popular in my neighborhood.
 
2003-11-01 06:40:30 PM  
Exactly, theOther. That would have been horrible had some little kid eaten a tylenol.
 
2003-11-01 06:40:37 PM  
When I was in high school I was passing out candy to kids and ran out towards the end of the night. I looked through the house for something that I could give to the kids. In our pantry I found the largest bag of cream of wheat in the western hemisphere. I got a measuring cup and whenever the kids came to the door I scooped some cream of wheat in the bag.

The cops didn't think it was as funny as me, they thought I was giving away cocaine to little kids..
 
2003-11-01 06:41:24 PM  
in France they give out cans of beer and fried eggs.
saw it on tv.
 
2003-11-01 06:41:39 PM  
I passed out condoms and alka-seltzer at my school's Halloween parade yesterday.
"Condoms", I explained, "for tonight, alka-seltzer for the morning after!"

No word yet on Special Ed kids choking on either...
 
2003-11-01 06:42:25 PM  
So what? If I run out of candy I have to make due. Instant pudding dessert works well. Not like a spoonfull, but a box of the stuff. Top Ramen has also worked in a pinch.

Canned vegetables are too heavy. Miniature tubes of toothpaste aren't usually received well.
 
2003-11-01 06:45:12 PM  
Llamallamadingdong

Or the cans of PBR I gave out.....

And where do you live? Or am I too late?

-/Grown accustomed to shiatty redneck beer
 
2003-11-01 06:45:20 PM  
'Check the bags, check the bags now.'

Boy, they sound really concerned about their kids' health.

Meanwhile, the dog food is probably more nutritionally sound than 99% of the junk handed out at the other houses.
 
2003-11-01 06:45:28 PM  
This is actually a GOOD thing for those London folks. Their teeth are disfigured as it is. By giving kids more candy, you'll only make it worse. I say the dude deserves a HERO tag instead.
 
2003-11-01 06:46:23 PM  
theflyingdutchman,
"Miniature tubes of toothpaste aren't usually received well"

Holy crap, I just had a flashback to 1985 when some old lady was handing out toothpaste and toothbrushes.
Damn that was disappointing.
 
2003-11-01 06:47:04 PM  
["We were yelling, 'Check the bags, check the bags now.' When you're giving a child an adult's dose of any medicine, you're risking their life," she said. ]

Right. And here in america doctors perscribe psychotropic drugs to every kid who acts up and dosen't want to do his homework. Did I mention that Ritilin was never approved for kids?

Bleah, never mind.
 
2003-11-01 06:50:02 PM  
I gave out candy on a grading basis.
1 piece for an extremely feeble effort
2 pieces for an average costume
3 peices for an outstanding, well-thought-out costume

And a kick to the groin for plainclothed highschool students going door to door for candy.
 
2003-11-01 06:51:13 PM  
Thank god this crisis was averted!
What if the kids had used the Motrin to cure a headache or something??
 
2003-11-01 06:53:20 PM  
"I've never actually experienced . . . the terror of wondering," she said of her frantic search through the bags of her two kids, ages eight and nine.

what. the. fark.
 
2003-11-01 06:55:29 PM  
Talk about over reacting...first off small kids shouldnt be sent out trick or treating without parents in the first place...second dont most parents screen the candy before letting kids dig in? I mean really how many kids are going to pass up a snickers bar for a packet of excedrin?

We had someone on our block giving out ramen and another a few blocks away giving out bible tracks with a pack of batteries.
 
2003-11-01 06:56:06 PM  
When I was little I took Motrin and Tylenol for just about every ailment--and my mom's a farking doctor.

So, it is my assessment, these kids would have been fine--or maybe better, if they had headaches.
 
2003-11-01 06:57:02 PM  
I always wanted to try Ramen--but all the cheap-ass dirty houses I hit were only giving out CANDY--the nerve.
 
2003-11-01 06:57:28 PM  
N10sityr: What's wrong with their teeth?
 
2003-11-01 07:00:10 PM  
anyone else notice that the women's name is susan slaughter oohh.. how ghoulish.
 
2003-11-01 07:02:27 PM  
i am NOT a freak
 
2003-11-01 07:02:55 PM  
The House That Gave Sucky Treats!
 
2003-11-01 07:03:40 PM  
There were only two incidents in which kids were poisoned by Halloween candy, and both times it was by their parents.
 
2003-11-01 07:03:58 PM  
Reminds me of the year I gave out condoms.....

remembers the lawsuit
 
2003-11-01 07:04:35 PM  
All agreed, however, the two boys who warned parents helped avert a potential disaster.

"They deserve a big thank-you," Slaughter said. "They really deserve kudos."


But what if they wanted snickers?
 
2003-11-01 07:06:00 PM  
And I'm sure the kids wouldn't eat the farking Tylenol or whatever, or at least not both pills. The sh*t tastes like chalk, the kid would probably spit it out, or eat it, and not eat the second.

They're like BottleCaps (the candy), crap in your mouth.
 
2003-11-01 07:07:15 PM  
Camel spiders and a cup of soup.
 
2003-11-01 07:07:18 PM  
This is actually a GOOD thing for those London folks. Their teeth are disfigured as it is. By giving kids more candy, you'll only make it worse. I say the dude deserves a HERO tag instead.

----
its london canada, not england, yah jackass. swing and a miss
 
2003-11-01 07:09:22 PM  
The whole razorblade thing is an urban legend. No one has ever reported finding a razorblade or nail or anything else in Halloween cand. Read Gillamobsters post in regards to candy being drugged. There was an article in the paper last year (can't remember which one) about how the stories are just used to scare kids.
 
2003-11-01 07:09:58 PM  
Heh, wait until the parents find the Viagra I handed out.
 
2003-11-01 07:10:51 PM  
I hope this pair of Harry Potter/Ron Weasley wannabees spends the rest of their lives hearing: "OOOO! Remember when the Dork Duo saved us from the dreaded Analgesic Dispenser!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHA...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
 
2003-11-01 07:14:10 PM  
It's TYLENOL. Geez. They make it sound like cyanide.
 
2003-11-01 07:15:12 PM  
absolutben: Better tell snopes that.
 
2003-11-01 07:15:45 PM  
They deserve a big thank-you," Slaughter said. "They really deserve kudos."

MMMMMM....KUDOOOOOS
 
2003-11-01 07:15:54 PM  
I gave out chunks of broken brick and mortar to the kids I thought were too old. If they came to the door with a 5 o'clock shadow, it was a masonary treat for them.
 
2003-11-01 07:16:03 PM  
just because it's london, canada and not london, England, candy is still bad for kids' teeth. so the dude still gets a HERO tag. And I'm pretty sure some of the London, Canada kids have F-ed up teeth.
 
2003-11-01 07:16:13 PM  
"(Those responsible) think it's funny, but it's not," she said. "We're all friends here, we look out for each other. (This) takes away from the fun and excitement of the evening. One person ruined the whole night."

I love it when they put the parentheses in people's dialog. I always like to read it with my own words in their place.

"Catholics think it's funny, but it's not," she said. "We're all friends here, we look out for each other. Sodomy takes away from the fun and excitement of the evening. One person ruined the whole night."

Yeah I bet that's what she said... sounds more in context to me. yup.
 
2003-11-01 07:16:41 PM  
I remember one year this old fart would hide behind a tree and fire a shotgun in the air anytime a kid started towards his door. After a couple of complaints,the town marshall, finally ordered the old man to stay in his house. Pissed that he was helpless from protecting his "property" from evil "trespassers",his wife would throw a string of obscenetys at any kid who turned up their driveway.
 
2003-11-01 07:17:57 PM  
I gave out air biscuits this year.
Next year- water gravy.
 
2003-11-01 07:18:05 PM  
People need to chill, it's not like the guy was passing out pot....though that would be nice.
 
2003-11-01 07:18:40 PM  
daddykings, your story sounds like a jerry brockheimer movie waiting to happen.
 
2003-11-01 07:18:48 PM  
There was an article in the paper last year (can't remember which one) about how the stories are just used to scare kids.

... and gullible/paranoid adults...
 
2003-11-01 07:21:03 PM  
[image from free.inkfrog.com too old to be available]
 
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