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(BBC)   Kenyan rangers shoot five ivory poachers, will grind up their bones and sell them to conservationists as an aphrodisiac   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 113
    More: Interesting, Canadian Wildlife Service, poachers, traditional medicine  
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6789 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2012 at 8:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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TWX
2012-04-22 09:39:06 PM  
J. Frank Parnell:
Here's an idea: Put up signs saying that hunting elephants will be responded to with deadly force, then get all the most militant and racist guys from the deep south of America and let them enforce it.

The best part is, you wouldn't even have to pay them.

Rude Turnip:
Park rangers are already on order to kill poachers. Fizpez's idea is farking brilliant, though.

Yeah, I'd be worried about militant and racist guys from the deep south killing the protected animals as well, as often racism goes hand in hand with extreme ignorance. I like using the poachers as live-fire exercises for special forces too. Train them in a real deployment that's dangerous enough to give them a taste, but where the conditions are somewhat more controlled to deal with any weird ramifications that could come up.
 
2012-04-22 09:39:16 PM  

vudukungfu: J. Frank Parnell: you'd still have to pay soldiers.

What if you got people who cared about the animals to hunt the poacher for sport?
Not Mercenaries.
Make them pay for a permit, no limit, put them up and feed them. They sign a waiver of liability.

Beats the fark out of a carnival cruise.


Better yet, make it like canned hunts. Trap the poachers in a pen and drug them, then let the rangers come in and take their shots.

/Is not serious.
//not completely
 
2012-04-22 09:39:16 PM  
Sure, I'd pay for the ground up bones of poachers if you could reliably certify that they were poachers.

\Most of the ground up rhino horn out there is actually harvested from the toe nail clippings swept off the floor of old age homes.
 
2012-04-22 09:44:59 PM  

vudukungfu: Beats the fark out of a carnival cruise.


Don't give them any ideas, some Italian captain may decide to take a slight detour up a river or something to give the folks on board a thrill.
 
2012-04-22 09:48:13 PM  
Can we get the press to stop calling it "traditional medicine" and start calling it "Chinese black magic" or something else as silly?

Let's not legitimize their beliefs by making them sound more reasonable than the practice of bleeding a patient to cure disease.
 
2012-04-22 09:49:16 PM  

TWX: racism goes hand in hand with extreme ignorance


And also extreme alcoholism. I can easily see them pounding back a dozen beer and not caring so much about who is after elephants anymore.
 
2012-04-22 09:54:59 PM  

vudukungfu: J. Frank Parnell: you'd still have to pay soldiers.

What if you got people who cared about the animals to hunt the poacher for sport?
Not Mercenaries.
Make them pay for a permit, no limit, put them up and feed them. They sign a waiver of liability.

Beats the fark out of a carnival cruise.


Like the Somolian pirate cruises.
 
2012-04-22 10:03:20 PM  

eventhelosers: You would think some farktard in China would have the imagination to create counterfeit Ivory.


And counterfeit rhino horn. Heck, rhino horn is keratin. The stuff your hair and fingernails are made of. Imagine getting a vat of the stuff, melting it down, and extruding it into rhino horn molds. Profit! And I mean handsomely.

Rhinoceros Horn: Fact vs. Fiction - PBS' Nature:

"Unlike the horns of most animals, which have a bony core covered by a relatively thin layer of keratin, rhino horns are keratin all the way through - although the precise chemical composition of the keratin will vary depending on a rhino's diet and geographic location.

Rhino horns are not, as once believed, made simply from a clump of compressed or modified hair. Recent studies by researchers at Ohio University using computerized tomography (CT) scans, have shown that the horns are, in fact, similar in structure to horses' hooves, turtle beaks, and cockatoo bills."
 
2012-04-22 10:03:52 PM  
They said 50kg (110lb) of elephant tusks and AK-47 rifles were recovered.


I had no idea assault rifles were so heavy.
 
2012-04-22 10:06:36 PM  
Ah, the circle of life
 
2012-04-22 10:11:10 PM  
It's 2012 and people still think animal bones have magic penis powers.
 
2012-04-22 10:19:15 PM  

HighZoolander: Cybernetic: HighZoolander: When will idiots accept that their penises are nothing like ivory tusks or rhino horns?

Do they believe that eating rabbit ears will make their own ears bigger?

I guess I just don't understand the rationality of desperation by morons.

Powdered rhino horn is cheaper than a Corvette.

Yeah, but even if I could afford a corvette, I assume it would be less effective if I powdered it and ate it.


OK, I just powdered my Corvette.
It made more powder than I had hoped.
 
2012-04-22 10:23:43 PM  
Loud_Mouth_SoupThey said 50kg (110lb) of elephant tusks and AK-47 rifles were recovered.
I had no idea assault rifles were so heavy.


I never thought of the AK as an 'elephant gun'.* I guessed that something larger would be required.

*For the clip vs magazine crowd, I am making the assumption elephant gun is a term for something of large caliber that would be used for big game in Africa and would be overkill for anything else. Feel free to correct any misunderstandings on my part.
 
2012-04-22 10:28:25 PM  
This thread is relevant to my interests.
 
2012-04-22 10:32:44 PM  

Fizpez: The US should use killing poachers as the final stage of special forces training - I mean its potentially got it all:

1) Insertion in to a hostile environment
2) Armed adversaries
3) Opportunity to apply technology (drones/night vision etc) to find and monitor potential targets
4) Live fire engagements.


Hopefully it would be a training program with a very short sunset period....


www.brainygamer.com
BRILLIANT!

Why haven't we done this with pirates operating in international waters?
 
2012-04-22 10:35:42 PM  
Poachers deserve to rot...they shoot an animal, typically not killing them, then use a chainsaw to cut their faces off.

Damn I hate those people...kill them and the Asian farkers who buy their items. Same holds true for shark fin soup. Sometimes humans piss me off.
 
2012-04-22 10:36:22 PM  

chewielouie: imokwiththis.jpg


Imcelebratingthefarkoutofthis.jpg
Hope they didn't die at first shot, but suffered awhile like elephants do when you hack their faces apart for their tusks.
 
2012-04-22 10:36:50 PM  
I'd be happier if they could take some of the poachers alive and find out who the distributors and buyers are. Then maybe some conservation-minded folks could set those buyers up with a safari package holiday out to Kenya so they could see the magnificent animals in the wild.

Then shoot the poachers and the buyers.

Guys who buy rhino horn: the reason your floppy little wang doesn't work is because it hates you. It hates you because you're a bad person.

/Humans are not an endangered species.
 
2012-04-22 10:51:42 PM  
Go go Kenyan rangers. It's stock footage karate time
 
2012-04-22 10:56:33 PM  
Chalk another Farker up for supporting the strategy in the headline. Specifically, how about someone simply flood the market with regular bone or whatever as "rhino horn," lowering prices even for the real stuff, making it less profitable to poach?
 
2012-04-22 10:57:17 PM  
I don't think people should die over the manner in which they prepare eggs.
 
2012-04-22 11:05:21 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: Here's an idea: Put up signs saying that hunting elephants will be responded to with deadly force, then get all the most militant and racist guys from the deep south of America and let them enforce it.

The best part is, you wouldn't even have to pay them.


1/10, and that's being generous. WAY too obvious.
 
2012-04-22 11:11:15 PM  
I've always maintained that if I come down with a terminal disease, I want to go to Kenya and poach some poachers as part of my bucket list.

/Semper Fi
 
2012-04-22 11:22:22 PM  

Mugato: I don't think people should die over the manner in which they prepare eggs.


Not eggs, Ivory man. That shiat's 99.44% pure. They had to be killed.
 
2012-04-22 11:41:55 PM  
I think we should start up a safari venture where we take good ol' boys from the US over to Kenya and let them go after the poachers. The premium package would provide night vision scopes and unlimited taxidermist service.
 
2012-04-22 11:52:33 PM  
Good thing it wasn't lions Link the poachers were after.
 
2012-04-22 11:56:34 PM  
HERO or SPIFFY tag would have made a better t-shirt.

Fark Me To Tears: I think we should start up a safari venture where we take good ol' boys from the US over to Kenya and let them go after the poachers. The premium package would provide night vision scopes and unlimited taxidermist service.


Taxidermist? There's a conversation starter.
 
2012-04-22 11:59:48 PM  

Mugato: I don't think people should die over the manner in which they prepare eggs.


Eggs are cracked open at the big end only, just as they always have been and those little-endian heretics will burn.
 
2012-04-23 12:00:09 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: I think we should start up a safari venture where we take good ol' boys from the US over to Kenya and let them go after the poachers. The premium package would provide night vision scopes and unlimited taxidermist service.


That sounds like something that could possibly backfire.
 
2012-04-23 12:08:57 AM  

Damnaged: [images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 250x191]

Human horn.


Ashamed it took 40 posts, but thank you.
 
2012-04-23 12:12:16 AM  

Mr. Eugenides: Oldiron_79:
Viagra is cheaper than Rhino horn, ACTUALLY WORKS, and doesn't contribute to the extinction of an endangered species

I dunno about that, Cialis is $28/tab.


Damn! Then you have to think..."is she Cialis worthy?" Hmmm.
 
2012-04-23 12:27:45 AM  
I'd like to buy beer for those rangers.
 
2012-04-23 12:30:19 AM  
Release the captured ivory to Asia, salted with the finest estrogen.

A limp dick that shrinks, and a nice set of tits, are going to kill the ivory trade faster than any gun battle.
 
2012-04-23 12:35:30 AM  
Thank you, Fark commentors, my faith in humanity is restored a little. Years ago I read about a Kenyan Ranger who shot a poacher to protect a rhino and he was persecuted as being anti-human. But this amazing guy stood up in the face of everything and said something to the effect of "If I had killed a bank robber stealing your money, you would all label me a hero, but I am protecting our natural inheritance and you call me a criminal."

Needless to say its heroes like this who are slowly changing the way people think about nature and wildlife, as something more valuable to our lives than falsely valued money or tacky luxury goods.

Also, I am with the guy who points the finger at China. Trade sanction the motherf'ers until they learn how to deal and behave like humane beings.
 
2012-04-23 12:42:09 AM  
We could take a lesson from the Africans and other indigenous peoples. They waste nothing.

From squeal (Deliverance) to toe, they find a use for everything!
 
2012-04-23 12:45:38 AM  
Weird they still refer to this as "Traditional 'Medicine'".

Now I understand the motives for burning witches.
 
2012-04-23 12:49:20 AM  

Valiente: Release the captured ivory to Asia, salted with the finest estrogen.


Ivory is used for pretty things like combs, name stamps, and music instrument parts in Asia. Nice try, there, but you're sadly out of touch with both basic zoology and the stereotypes you seem to wanna hold on to.

addicted2success.com
 
2012-04-23 01:09:08 AM  
imokwiththis.jpg
 
2012-04-23 01:18:18 AM  

BolloxReader: HighZoolander: When will idiots accept that their penises are nothing like ivory tusks or rhino horns?

Do they believe that eating rabbit ears will make their own ears bigger?

I guess I just don't understand the rationality of desperation by morons.

"Doctrine of signatures" extrapolated to animals. Basically, if it looks somewhat like a human body part, it is God's way (or the spirits' way, or whatever) of saying "This is good for that."


In that case what we need to do is destroy the market by getting the idiots who buy this off tusks and horns and on to dried geoduck pills.

Look at these things.

3.bp.blogspot.com


/geoduck... best pokemon ever.
 
2012-04-23 01:35:02 AM  
Where?
farm7.staticflickr.com
 
2012-04-23 01:36:16 AM  

JungleBoogie: . Imagine getting a vat of the stuff, melting it down, and extruding it into rhino horn molds.


That's an awesome idea, except for the part where keratin doesn't melt.
 
2012-04-23 02:05:51 AM  
Is Kenyan-Ranger a legit character? If so, I'm saying that they should get a +2 constitution and long distance running skill.
 
2012-04-23 02:21:15 AM  
Shoot the poachers

Burn the Ivory



no need to cry
 
2012-04-23 02:38:34 AM  
I've thought about on more than one occasion, once I get out of the military and decide I might want to leave law enforcement in the US, of going over to Africa and joining one of the anti-poaching forces. I think it would be pretty interesting, and right up my alley in terms of interests, values, and skillset.
 
2012-04-23 05:02:08 AM  

taurusowner: I've thought about on more than one occasion, once I get out of the military and decide I might want to leave law enforcement in the US, of going over to Africa and joining one of the anti-poaching forces. I think it would be pretty interesting, and right up my alley in terms of interests, values, and skillset.


Give it a go. And write a book about it.

or

Go back home.
 
2012-04-23 05:27:39 AM  

LordOfThePings: [www.demotix.com image 304x456]

Walker, Kenya Ranger


looks like an enfield SMLE or no4 mk2? the brit 303 round will drop anyone in one hit...wonder if he can shoot the poachers at ranges great enough to leverage the power of the cartridge and accuracy of the rifle and not get overwhelmed by rate of fire coming from ak47s.
 
2012-04-23 06:06:22 AM  

taurusowner: I've thought about on more than one occasion, once I get out of the military and decide I might want to leave law enforcement in the US, of going over to Africa and joining one of the anti-poaching forces. I think it would be pretty interesting, and right up my alley in terms of interests, values, and skillset.


shooting black people?
 
2012-04-23 08:04:04 AM  

Onkel Buck: Anybody else read Kenny Rogers insted of Kenyan Rangers?


He shot an ivory poacher, just to grind his bones.
 
2012-04-23 08:14:29 AM  
Good. Fark those guys.
 
2012-04-23 09:00:52 AM  

LordOfThePings: [www.demotix.com image 304x456]

Walker, Kenya Ranger


Looks like they are applying "Rule 303' to the poachers.

upload.wikimedia.org

Approves.
 
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