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(BBC)   Kenyan rangers shoot five ivory poachers, will grind up their bones and sell them to conservationists as an aphrodisiac   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 113
    More: Interesting, Canadian Wildlife Service, poachers, traditional medicine  
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6786 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2012 at 8:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-22 08:51:08 PM
Interesting, more like HERO
 
2012-04-22 08:53:05 PM
Good

/and what Oldiron_79 said
 
2012-04-22 08:53:56 PM
SPIFFY, COOL, HERO, take your pick.
 
2012-04-22 08:53:57 PM
We should be so lucky if that particular group should go extinct.
 
2012-04-22 08:54:52 PM
I actually completely support the tactic of the headline.

I support a similar tactic for repeat offender meth makers.
 
2012-04-22 08:55:25 PM

Melph: Good

/and what Oldiron_79 said


Indeed.

Also, "You are not allowed to post comments at the moment.
Try again in 12 seconds. (Flood protection.)"

When the hell did this turn into Reddit? SO I TYPE FAST, GAWD...
 
2012-04-22 08:55:58 PM
When will idiots accept that their penises are nothing like ivory tusks or rhino horns?

Do they believe that eating rabbit ears will make their own ears bigger?

I guess I just don't understand the rationality of desperation by morons.
 
2012-04-22 08:57:28 PM
Anybody else read Kenny Rogers insted of Kenyan Rangers?
 
2012-04-22 08:57:38 PM
I wanna be a Kenyan ranger
 
2012-04-22 08:57:41 PM

JosephFinn: SPIFFY, COOL, HERO, take your pick.


This.
 
2012-04-22 08:58:24 PM

HighZoolander: When will idiots accept that their penises are nothing like ivory tusks or rhino horns?

Do they believe that eating rabbit ears will make their own ears bigger?

I guess I just don't understand the rationality of desperation by morons.


Powdered rhino horn is cheaper than a Corvette.
 
2012-04-22 08:59:35 PM
Onkel Buck: Anybody else read Kenny Rogers insted of Kenyan Rangers?

I LOLed
 
2012-04-22 08:59:45 PM
I am ok with this.

From what I hear, the poachers just take the tusks and leave the rest of the animal to rot. It's one thing to kill something and use the fur, meat, and bones (basically everything), it's another to go killing stuff and take only the bits you need and let the rest rot. Not that I have even a shred of respect for the people who do this.

Poach the Poachers.
 
2012-04-22 09:00:02 PM
I'mOKWithThis.jpg
 
2012-04-22 09:00:28 PM
imokwiththis.jpg
 
2012-04-22 09:00:48 PM
Given that Rhino horn (sorry if we are talking about elephants here) is worth about $2000 an ounce, park rangers are going to have to start pulling out medivel tricks the pear of anguish and the rack if they want to make a difference.

I am a little suprised that meth heads have not gotten creative yet and gone for a rhino in the zoo.

Link
 
2012-04-22 09:01:00 PM
Cybernetic: HighZoolander: When will idiots accept that their penises are nothing like ivory tusks or rhino horns?

Do they believe that eating rabbit ears will make their own ears bigger?

I guess I just don't understand the rationality of desperation by morons.

Powdered rhino horn is cheaper than a Corvette.


Viagra is cheaper than Rhino horn, ACTUALLY WORKS, and doesn't contribute to the extinction of an endangered species
 
2012-04-22 09:01:31 PM
Good riddance. fark poachers. Scum of the earth right behind trophy hunters.
 
2012-04-22 09:01:40 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: I wanna be a Kenyan ranger


How about a Kenyan Commander in Chief?
 
2012-04-22 09:01:57 PM
i'm OK with this....

30.media.tumblr.com

carry on
 
2012-04-22 09:02:16 PM

Cybernetic: HighZoolander: When will idiots accept that their penises are nothing like ivory tusks or rhino horns?

Do they believe that eating rabbit ears will make their own ears bigger?

I guess I just don't understand the rationality of desperation by morons.

Powdered rhino horn is cheaper than a Corvette.


Yeah, but even if I could afford a corvette, I assume it would be less effective if I powdered it and ate it.
 
2012-04-22 09:03:10 PM

HighZoolander: When will idiots accept that their penises are nothing like ivory tusks or rhino horns?

Do they believe that eating rabbit ears will make their own ears bigger?

I guess I just don't understand the rationality of desperation by morons.


"Doctrine of signatures" extrapolated to animals. Basically, if it looks somewhat like a human body part, it is God's way (or the spirits' way, or whatever) of saying "This is good for that."
 
2012-04-22 09:04:38 PM
Here's an idea: Put up signs saying that hunting elephants will be responded to with deadly force, then get all the most militant and racist guys from the deep south of America and let them enforce it.

The best part is, you wouldn't even have to pay them.
 
2012-04-22 09:04:55 PM
Dangerous folk they are, wandering the wilds; what his right name is I've never heard, but around here, he's known as Strider.
 
2012-04-22 09:05:48 PM
The US should use killing poachers as the final stage of special forces training - I mean its potentially got it all:

1) Insertion in to a hostile environment
2) Armed adversaries
3) Opportunity to apply technology (drones/night vision etc) to find and monitor potential targets
4) Live fire engagements.


Hopefully it would be a training program with a very short sunset period....
 
2012-04-22 09:06:32 PM

Oldiron_79:
Viagra is cheaper than Rhino horn, ACTUALLY WORKS, and doesn't contribute to the extinction of an endangered species


I dunno about that, Cialis is $28/tab.
 
2012-04-22 09:06:54 PM
You would think some farktard in China would have the imagination to create counterfeit Ivory.
 
2012-04-22 09:07:00 PM

Lord Farkwad: AverageAmericanGuy: I wanna be a Kenyan ranger

How about a Kenyan Commander in Chief?


Make it Hawaiian and you've got a deal.
 
2012-04-22 09:10:51 PM

BolloxReader: HighZoolander: When will idiots accept that their penises are nothing like ivory tusks or rhino horns?

Do they believe that eating rabbit ears will make their own ears bigger?

I guess I just don't understand the rationality of desperation by morons.

"Doctrine of signatures" extrapolated to animals. Basically, if it looks somewhat like a human body part, it is God's way (or the spirits' way, or whatever) of saying "This is good for that."


Well, now it just makes as much sense as any other aspect of religion. That is, basically still none.

Thanks though, at least now I can put a name to the nonsense.
 
2012-04-22 09:13:34 PM

HighZoolander: I guess I just don't understand the rationality of desperation by morons.


Sympathetic magic. If you wish to make something more hornlike, you go find the biggest horn you can.
 
2012-04-22 09:14:27 PM
They should start shooting the people who buy the stuff, too.
 
2012-04-22 09:15:37 PM

Lord Farkwad: AverageAmericanGuy: I wanna be a Kenyan ranger

How about a Kenyan Commander in Chief?


Nah. The cadence is all wrong.
 
2012-04-22 09:15:45 PM

BolloxReader: "Doctrine of signatures" extrapolated to animals. Basically, if it looks somewhat like a human body part, it is God's way (or the spirits' way, or whatever) of saying "This is good for that."


Or this!
 
xcv
2012-04-22 09:16:20 PM
Okay, which one of those poachers' turn was it to pay the bribes?
 
2012-04-22 09:17:41 PM
You would think with our ability to grow all sorts of stuff in a petri dish that ivory would be near the top of the list, if just for profit alone.
 
2012-04-22 09:19:19 PM
Yellow demand for ornaments and fake medicine, causing elephant and rhino slaughter is akin to white demand for coke, causing thousands of Mexican murders. The white problem could be solved by ending drug prohibition. How sorve rerrow? Cloning?
 
2012-04-22 09:21:23 PM
I'd buy the rangers a round. I know poverty is bad there but seriously, fark 'em. There are better ways of making a buck than actively wiping out species. The rate of species destruction at human hands is obscene.

CSB: In the state nature reserve I walk my dogs in every morning, walking past the "No hunting and fishing" signs, I found an entire box of spent shotgun shells scattered in a ten foot line. Turkey season, and the mother farks can't keep to the private property next door. Nice to know if I hadn't had a lie in, I or my dogs could have been shot. Dumbarse redneck farkwads. I got no truck with hunters if they use the entire animal, but follow the goddamn law.
 
2012-04-22 09:21:34 PM

J. Frank Parnell: Here's an idea: Put up signs saying that hunting elephants will be responded to with deadly force, then get all the most militant and racist guys from the deep south of America and let them enforce it.

The best part is, you wouldn't even have to pay them.


Park rangers are already on order to kill poachers. Fizpez's idea is farking brilliant, though.
 
2012-04-22 09:24:03 PM
El Brujo,Yellow demand for ornaments and fake medicine, causing elephant and rhino slaughter is akin to white demand for coke, causing thousands of Mexican murders. The white problem could be solved by ending drug prohibition. How sorve rerrow? Cloning?

In that troll ending is genius. Find a way to grow or clone rhino horn the same way cruelty-free beef is being grown in a lab.
 
2012-04-22 09:24:40 PM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Human horn.
 
2012-04-22 09:26:51 PM
Okay.
 
2012-04-22 09:28:23 PM

Rude Turnip: Park rangers are already on order to kill poachers. Fizpez's idea is farking brilliant, though.


Yeah, it's a good idea, but you'd still have to pay soldiers. And if they weren't fueled by militant racism they might not be so motivated.

Also, stories of soldiers being killed in shootouts with poachers would be sad to hear, but with militant racists the only ones who'd care would be other militant racists, and then you just sign them up too. Until there are none left.
 
2012-04-22 09:30:03 PM
Hey Nuge, let's go to Africa and poach us some phants! Naw, I'll be right behind you, you go first.
 
2012-04-22 09:30:12 PM
Wait, you can get a license to hunt poachers in Africa now?

/Goin' on Safari
 
2012-04-22 09:30:59 PM

J. Frank Parnell: you'd still have to pay soldiers.


What if you got people who cared about the animals to hunt the poacher for sport?
Not Mercenaries.
Make them pay for a permit, no limit, put them up and feed them. They sign a waiver of liability.

Beats the fark out of a carnival cruise.
 
2012-04-22 09:31:02 PM
I'd like to take the poachers' heads and put on a puppet show about the dangers of poaching in front of their children and wives.
 
2012-04-22 09:32:26 PM
On reading TFA, I was sad to see that the headline was not entirely true.
 
2012-04-22 09:34:17 PM

LeroyBourne: Hey Nuge, let's go to Africa and poach us some phants! Naw, I'll be right behind you, you go first.


Oh, I don't know. I say we let the Nuge hunt the poachers. Bow hunting armed men would be the ultimate challenge. And a good cause.
 
2012-04-22 09:34:41 PM
www.demotix.com

Walker, Kenya Ranger
 
2012-04-22 09:35:21 PM

J. Frank Parnell: Rude Turnip: Park rangers are already on order to kill poachers. Fizpez's idea is farking brilliant, though.

Yeah, it's a good idea, but you'd still have to pay soldiers. And if they weren't fueled by militant racism they might not be so motivated.

Also, stories of soldiers being killed in shootouts with poachers would be sad to hear, but with militant racists the only ones who'd care would be other militant racists, and then you just sign them up too. Until there are none left.


That would be one hell of a way to end racism.
 
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