FARK.com: (7061424) In a world where America fights to remain in front: Talking pineapple question on state exam stumps Students, Teachers and Principals

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		In a world where America fights to remain in front: Talking pineapple question on state exam stumps Students, Teachers and Principals (nydailynews.com)		338
		More: Obvious, professor emeritus

• • •

21780 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Apr 2012 at 1:36 PM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/7061424

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

338 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all

Indubitably		2012-04-20 08:20:36 PM

MooseUpNorth: Indubitably: i sense bitter much?

In the early-mid 80s, there was a "standardized test" type pilot program where, every week for a month or so before it was quietly dropped, 6th grade students in my province had to restore a short story that had roughly half of the nouns blanked out. No word clouds or any other kind of assistance.

/ Apparently, my teacher wrote a letter protesting that asinine program, where she made a point of blanking out every fifth word.
// Awesome teacher.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

Solid.

;)

Indubitably		2012-04-20 08:21:56 PM

thamike: MacWizard: If you read this right after it was originally posted, both the story and the questions have changed significantly.

[i2.listal.com image 500x281]

Aaaand thennnnn?

I read it on NPR earlier today.

Time?

Check the logs at my work.

;)

bacchanalias and consequences		2012-04-20 08:37:55 PM

ktybear:

yes, and the crow was the stupid animal, convincing the others that the pineapple had a great plan.

There's no way to tell that the crow was right. What makes you think the crow is more reliable than the pineapple?

xebeche_tzu		2012-04-20 08:37:58 PM

Gyrfalcon		2012-04-20 08:45:30 PM

MacWizard: If you read this right after it was originally posted, both the story and the questions have changed significantly.

Not that significantly.

The Hare and the Pineapple

by Daniel Pinkwater

In olden times, the animals of the forest could speak English just like you and me. One day, a pineapple challenged a hare to a race.

(I forgot to mention, fruits and vegetables were able to speak too.)

A hare is like a rabbit, only skinnier and faster. This particular hare was known to be the fastest animal in the forest.

"You, a pineapple have the nerve to challenge me, a hare, to a race," the hare asked the pineapple. "This must be some sort of joke."

"No," said the pineapple. "I want to race you. Twenty-six miles, and may the best animal win."

"You aren't even an animal!" the hare said. "You're a tropical fruit!"

"Well, you know what I mean," the pineapple said.

The animals of the forest thought it was very strange that tropical fruit should want to race a very fast animal.

"The pineapple has some trick up its sleeve," a moose said.

Pineapples don't have sleeves, an owl said

"Well, you know what I mean," the moose said. "If a pineapple challenges a hare to a race, it must be that the pineapple knows some secret trick that will allow it to win."

"The pineapple probably expects us to root for the hare and then look like fools when it loses," said a crow. "Then the pineapple will win the race because the hare is overconfident and takes a nap, or gets lost, or something."

The animals agreed that this made sense. There was no reason a pineapple should challenge a hare unless it had a clever plan of some sort. So the animals, wanting to back a winner, all cheered for the pineapple.

When the race began, the hare sprinted forward and was out of sight in less than a minute. The pineapple just sat there, never moving an inch.

The animals crowded around watching to see how the pineapple was going to cleverly beat the hare. Two hours later when the hare cross the finish line, the pineapple was still sitting still and hadn't moved an inch.

The animals ate the pineapple.

MORAL: Pineapples don't have sleeves

Beginning with paragraph 4, in what order are the events in the story told?

A switching back and forth between places

B In the order in which the events happen

C Switching back and forth between the past and the present

D In the order in which the hare tells the events to another animal

The animals ate the pineapple most likely because they were

A Hungry

B Excited

C Annoyed

D Amused

Which animal spoke the wisest words?

A The hare

B The moose

C The crow

D The owl

Before the race, how did the animals feel toward the pineapple?
A Suspicious

B Kindly

C Sympathetic

D Envious

What would have happened if the animals had decided to cheer for the hare?

A The pineapple would have won the race.

B They would have been mad at the hare for winning.

C The hare would have just sat there and not moved.

D They would have been happy to have cheered for a winner.

When the moose said that the pineapple has some trick up its sleeve, he means that the pineapple

A is wearing a disguise

B wants to show the animals a trick

C has a plan to fool the animals

D is going to put something out of its sleeve

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/talking-pineapple-question-state-e xam-stumps-article-1.1064657#ixzz1sdC0P8X7

We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.

Plus, the moral is even more freaking stupid now that it's been explained.

supervacaneous		2012-04-20 08:55:08 PM

I'm not sure how many of you have said this because I am 7 pages in, but I don't think they ate the pineapple because they were annoyed.

I mean, read this:

"The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race - but it knew it couldn't walk (let alone run)!
About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged.
The animals ate the pineapple."

Yes, maybe they were annoyed at one point. But they were waiting there FOR A FEW HOURS. And in a few hours, we get over stupid feelings. Life goes on. Anyone would get hungry in that amount of time, especially staring at a pineapple for a few hours.

And the owl was obviously the smartest, not getting involved in this stupid shiat at all. Probably sleeping somewhere. God, sun dwellers are retarded.

supervacaneous		2012-04-20 08:59:34 PM

Gyrfalcon: MacWizard: If you read this right after it was originally posted, both the story and the questions have changed significantly.

Not that significantly.

The Hare and the Pineapple

by Daniel Pinkwater

In olden times, the animals of the forest could speak English just like you and me. One day, a pineapple challenged a hare to a race.

(I forgot to mention, fruits and vegetables were able to speak too.)

A hare is like a rabbit, only skinnier and faster. This particular hare was known to be the fastest animal in the forest.

"You, a pineapple have the nerve to challenge me, a hare, to a race," the hare asked the pineapple. "This must be some sort of joke."

"No," said the pineapple. "I want to race you. Twenty-six miles, and may the best animal win."

"You aren't even an animal!" the hare said. "You're a tropical fruit!"

"Well, you know what I mean," the pineapple said.

The animals of the forest thought it was very strange that tropical fruit should want to race a very fast animal.

"The pineapple has some trick up its sleeve," a moose said.

Pineapples don't have sleeves, an owl said

I take my second theory back. They're all retarded.

ktybear		2012-04-20 09:16:02 PM

bacchanalias and consequences: ktybear:

yes, and the crow was the stupid animal, convincing the others that the pineapple had a great plan.

There's no way to tell that the crow was right. What makes you think the crow is more reliable than the pineapple?

The pineapple was a trickster, the crow was not right because he makes the false presumption that "the pineapple will win the race". The other animals are gullible for falling for the false logic.

'Reliability' wasn't really the point I was making...the crow helped the pineapple's plan, I guess might be one way of looking at it.

strathmeyer		2012-04-20 09:17:32 PM

The best thing about this thread is all the people who failed reading comprehension and couldn't understand the article.

ktybear		2012-04-20 09:21:54 PM

Gyrfalcon: We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.

Plus, the moral is even more freaking stupid now that it's been explained.

I think the answers to those questions are moral and philosophical, meaning the correct answer is the answer that's more correct than the others.

The moral - rephrased by my brain - discard irrelevant and unlikely scenarios when making decisions.

ktybear		2012-04-20 09:26:34 PM

What would have happened if the animals had decided to cheer for the hare?

A The pineapple would have won the race.

B They would have been mad at the hare for winning.

C The hare would have just sat there and not moved.

D They would have been happy to have cheered for a winner.

Logically there is only one answer

A - illogical - no it would still have sat there
B - illogical - they would have been cheering for the winner
C - illogical - no reason to think this at all, in fact the opposite since the crowd was cheering he might have run faster
D - the only answer that makes any sense

Gawdzila		2012-04-20 09:31:20 PM

Gyrfalcon: We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.

Not quite nothing. The first one is a little weird and ambiguous, yeah, but only one of the answers ("Hungry") seems like a sensible reason to eat the pineapple.

The "wisest" one is pretty easy, though. The owl was the only one that understood that its just a farking pineapple and can't possibly trick them into getting it to win a race (i.e. "it doesn't have sleeves"). All the other animals are morons for thinking a fruit was going to try and pull one over on them.

Also, in the "what would have happened" question , A is clearly nonsense, and B and C have absolutely no basis for choosing them. D is the only answer that makes any sense at all.

Gyrfalcon		2012-04-20 09:56:11 PM

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.

Not quite nothing. The first one is a little weird and ambiguous, yeah, but only one of the answers ("Hungry") seems like a sensible reason to eat the pineapple.

The "wisest" one is pretty easy, though. The owl was the only one that understood that its just a farking pineapple and can't possibly trick them into getting it to win a race (i.e. "it doesn't have sleeves"). All the other animals are morons for thinking a fruit was going to try and pull one over on them.

Also, in the "what would have happened" question , A is clearly nonsense, and B and C have absolutely no basis for choosing them. D is the only answer that makes any sense at all.

Goddamn, I keep forgetting it's 4/20, Friday, and everyone is off work by now.

Fano		2012-04-20 10:07:58 PM

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.

Not quite nothing. The first one is a little weird and ambiguous, yeah, but only one of the answers ("Hungry") seems like a sensible reason to eat the pineapple.

The "wisest" one is pretty easy, though. The owl was the only one that understood that its just a farking pineapple and can't possibly trick them into getting it to win a race (i.e. "it doesn't have sleeves"). All the other animals are morons for thinking a fruit was going to try and pull one over on them.

Also, in the "what would have happened" question , A is clearly nonsense, and B and C have absolutely no basis for choosing them. D is the only answer that makes any sense at all.

Perhaps they can be forgiven for thinking that since we were making up rules that animals and fruit can talk, potentially talking animals might believe that a talking pineapple might be capable of locomotion, ie

How do you kill a vampire?
a) A stake
b) garlic
c) sunlight
d) ANY WAY YOU WANT BECAUSE VAMPIRES AREN'T REAL!

Still, the posts that address logical ways to approach their madness make sense.

valenumr		2012-04-20 11:37:28 PM

The answer to the question is in the story verbatim:

-> Pineapples don't have sleeves, an owl said

And at the end:

-> MORAL: Pineapples don't have sleeves

So, the MORAL is the wise lesson we were to learn from this story, and it was directly stated by the owl.

The moose mistakes the owl's wisdom for crassness, while the owl is flatly stating that there is no trick up anybody's sleeve.

I think the whole "why did they eat the pineapple" bit is a worse question. I think because they were annoyed, but it is equally logical and acceptable to assume it is because they were hungry.

Aetre		2012-04-20 11:49:03 PM

There's no problem with these questions. There's a problem with standardized testing, and this is a great example of why, but if you remove from the discussion the fact that all standardized testing favors certain biases over others and thus ensures the results will be such that rich kids score better on the test than poor ones regardless of intelligence, it's a perfectly fair reading comprehension story with decent questions afterward.

ktybear		2012-04-20 11:58:03 PM

valenumr: I think the whole "why did they eat the pineapple" bit is a worse question. I think because they were annoyed, but it is equally logical and acceptable to assume it is because they were hungry.

True, that's the only ambiguous one. Logic or feelings

Beowoolfie		2012-04-21 12:00:36 AM

I thought it was a perfectly acceptable reading comprehension question, admittedly an oddly abstract one.

Then my wife (a university professor in a relevant field) explained the background: New York state has built up a long list of things that cannot be mentioned on on tests because of possible cultural bias problems. It's up to 46 items Link. According to her, the list eliminated most of the traditionally-used passages from literature, leaving the test developers stuck with making these abstract stories up.

Every good idea gets insanely misapplied by someone.

Britney Spear's Speculum		2012-04-21 12:01:24 AM

Aetre: There's no problem with these questions. There's a problem with standardized testing, and this is a great example of why, but if you remove from the discussion the fact that all standardized testing favors certain biases over others and thus ensures the results will be such that rich kids score better on the test than poor ones regardless of intelligence, it's a perfectly fair reading comprehension story with decent questions afterward.

This is true and it doesn't get explored enough, especially in elementary, middle and high schools.
In my med school class, there are people who can get perfect or miss 1-2 questions on a 300 point multiple choice exam. Yet they can fail the clinical portions. And vise versa

wantingout		2012-04-21 12:14:03 AM

<a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7061424/76355236#c76355236" target="_blank">AverageAmericanGuy</a>: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.

crow is not the wisest. crow is a fool. he was just a loudmouth that got all the other animals to follow his wrong theory about the motive of the pineapple. Crow is actually more than a little paranoid.

Like the earlier poster stated, Owl is the wisest in the forest.

HotWingAgenda		2012-04-21 01:36:26 AM

As the moral of the story said, pineapples don't have sleeves. The moral implies that there are no trick questions and everything is as it seems.

The owl was obviously the wisest, as the only animal that pointed out that the pineapple couldn't have anything up its sleeves. The other animals were all acting as if the pineapple could suddenly sprout legs and run off.

In keeping with the moral, the animals ate the pineapple because they were hungry. Why else would someone eat a piece of fruit?

Sylvia_Bandersnatch		2012-04-21 01:37:16 AM

Got a short way into this thread before concluding that more than a few Farkers would get it wrong if the only question was, "Does this story involve a pineapple?" Never mind reading comprehension, how about reading at all?

I thought the thing itself read surprisingly like one of the smarter Fark threads. Or like I imagine such a thread would read.

Indubitably		2012-04-21 01:44:46 AM

How does this demonstrate proficiency?

It doesn't, douchebag.

You are unsuccessful, sirs.

;)

ktybear		2012-04-21 01:45:12 AM

HotWingAgenda: In keeping with the moral, the animals ate the pineapple because they were hungry. Why else would someone eat a piece of fruit?

I think that takes the ambiguity away for me on that question, and all the rest are pretty straight forward.

Howlin Mad Murphy		2012-04-21 02:33:57 AM

If we were really trying to stay in front wouldn't we be spending more on education?

erik-k		2012-04-21 03:07:22 AM

To be fair, the pineapple is pretty smart. It can even play chess.

algrant33		2012-04-21 04:32:21 AM

wantingout: <a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7061424/76355236#c76355236" target="_blank">AverageAmericanGuy</a>: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.

crow is not the wisest. crow is a fool. he was just a loudmouth that got all the other animals to follow his wrong theory about the motive of the pineapple. Crow is actually more than a little paranoid.

Like the earlier poster stated, Owl is the wisest in the forest.

When this story was Boobiesed, it was from a paraphrased reproduction from an actual testtaker. There WAS no Owl in the story--that character had been merged with the Crow.

algrant33		2012-04-21 04:34:34 AM

algrant33: When this story was Boobiesed,

oh son of a biatch. laying off the jack and hitting the sack.

halork		2012-04-21 05:01:15 AM

HotWingAgenda: As the moral of the story said, pineapples don't have sleeves. The moral implies that there are no trick questions and everything is as it seems.

The owl was obviously the wisest, as the only animal that pointed out that the pineapple couldn't have anything up its sleeves. The other animals were all acting as if the pineapple could suddenly sprout legs and run off.

In keeping with the moral, the animals ate the pineapple because they were hungry. Why else would someone eat a piece of fruit?

Actually, in a fable someone or something suffers a dire consequence of failing to see the moral. Because the animals could theoretically have eaten the pineapple if they were hungry regardless of whether it had run the race or not, in order for the moral to have a meaning, they had to eat the pineapple because of the pineapple's failure to perform as they were cheering. In other words, they were annoyed. Now we can argue the meaning of the moral, which is the whole point of the fable.

Terrible Old Man		2012-04-21 06:19:28 AM

Crewmannumber6: [i37.photobucket.com image 96x77]

You sir, win. Sean and MC 'ClapYoHands' approve.

My Third Testicle		2012-04-21 06:52:45 AM

namegoeshere: My Third Testicle: AverageAmericanGuy: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.

1: C
Ascribing "wants" to animals is anthropomorphizing. They ate because they were hungry.
2: C
The crow was wrong, but logical.

or, maybe something else

LOLwut? Ascribing wants to animals is anthropomorphizing, and therefore incorrect, in a story in which the animals have conversations, set up, and run races?

That's reasonable, but just because they can talk and can organize a race doesn't necessarily mean that they feel the same things people do. Case in point: my last girlfriend.

Sylvia_Bandersnatch		2012-04-21 09:24:36 AM

algrant33: wantingout: <a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7061424/76355236#c76355236" target="_blank">AverageAmericanGuy</a>: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.

crow is not the wisest. crow is a fool. he was just a loudmouth that got all the other animals to follow his wrong theory about the motive of the pineapple. Crow is actually more than a little paranoid.

Like the earlier poster stated, Owl is the wisest in the forest.

When this story was Boobiesed, it was from a paraphrased reproduction from an actual testtaker. There WAS no Owl in the story--that character had been merged with the Crow.

Oh, well NOW it all makes perfect sense! ::headslap::

namegoeshere		2012-04-21 01:17:38 PM

ktybear: The pineapple was a trickster, the crow was not right because he makes the false presumption that "the pineapple will win the race". The other animals are gullible for falling for the false logic.

Perhaps the crow was not full of shiat, but was himself a prankster. He spoonfed the others that ridiculous story, so he could laugh at them for backing a fruit over the hare.

Also, if the pineapple could talk, then it must have had a mout that could move, as well as a tongue. So it was not completely imobile. It could haveflopped over (or asked someone to push it over) and used its mouth and tongue to drag itself.

porkloin		2012-04-21 03:14:07 PM

Norms Testing Most standardized tests contain a few multiple choice questions for which no information is given in the reading. The "correct" answer becomes the one that is chosen by the larger number of test takers. Extra credit in a way for thinking like the crowd.

Blacksmithking		2012-04-21 03:19:47 PM

The hare chuckled and explained that the talking pineapple is its solution of the problem of animals eating other animals. The crow said it didn't want the cycle of animals eating talking fruit to continue. So the hare then presented the crow with three solutions:

1) All animals die, but baby animals still exist to grow up and probably eat fruit (destroy ending).

2) The crow takes full control of all talking fruit and tells them to leave the forest (control ending).

3) Animals and fruit merge, becoming fruitimals. No one knows what the hell this even means (merge ending).

Speculation for everyone! Artistic integrity!

If my solutions don't make sense, just ask me repeatedly and I'll provide additional clarification after insulting your intelligence.

Bwatne97		2012-04-21 04:01:21 PM

Occam's Razor

A wise man doesn't over think an easy question.

so the Hare being challenged by something without a way of moving itself assumed victory,accepted, and won.
And anyone claiming that because it could talk it could move itself...I'd like to see someone move themselves along by their own mouth.

I leave you with this "Wise man say Forgiveness is Divine but never pay full price for late pizza"

The First Four Black Sabbath Albums		2012-04-21 05:42:44 PM

They ate the pineapple because he was race-ist.

Aigoo		2012-04-21 09:22:25 PM

MoronLessOff: It is my belief that the animals ate the talking pineapple because they feel they had been swindled. The pineapple, presumably knowing he wouldn't win any race, challenged one of the fastest runners. The other animals sense the race is fixed and bet on the pineapple to reap the rewards. When the pineapple predictably losses the race, the animals would be understandably upset and they take the fruit as their reward or revenge.

The wisest animal would have to be the rabbit, since there is no explicit mention of an owl. I believe the rabbit was in on the fix. Knowing he could best a fruit in a race, but the other animals would wager against him, he stands to lose nothing and make a beneficial gain. However, it could be argued that this isn't exactly a wise move. Seeing as the other animals ate a talking and presumably intelligent/sentient being, who's to say they wouldn't take additional revenge on the rabbit if they ever discovered the scheme. He may not be very wise, but I would call him smart. Especially if the rabbit took his winnings to another forest, found another talking fruit, and set his con into motion again...barring some sort of animal police force capable of tracking fugitive rabbits. In that case, he's pretty dumb too.

I didn't read all the rest of this, but you failed third grade reading comprehension, dumbass.

Also, the owl would probably be "the wisest" for testing purposes, since he gave the "moral" in his single line in the story.

The rabbit wins for wisdom in reality for running the fark away from bizarro world.

/since when is "pineapples don't have sleeves" a farking MORAL?

Displayed 38 of 338 comments