If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(New York Daily News)   In a world where America fights to remain in front: Talking pineapple question on state exam stumps Students, Teachers and Principals   (nydailynews.com) divider line 338
    More: Obvious, professor emeritus  
•       •       •

21793 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Apr 2012 at 1:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



338 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-20 02:46:24 PM

MoronLessOff: It is my belief that the animals ate the talking pineapple because they feel they had been swindled. The pineapple, presumably knowing he wouldn't win any race, challenged one of the fastest runners. The other animals sense the race is fixed and bet on the pineapple to reap the rewards. When the pineapple predictably losses the race, the animals would be understandably upset and they take the fruit as their reward or revenge.

The wisest animal would have to be the rabbit, since there is no explicit mention of an owl. I believe the rabbit was in on the fix. Knowing he could best a fruit in a race, but the other animals would wager against him, he stands to lose nothing and make a beneficial gain. However, it could be argued that this isn't exactly a wise move. Seeing as the other animals ate a talking and presumably intelligent/sentient being, who's to say they wouldn't take additional revenge on the rabbit if they ever discovered the scheme. He may not be very wise, but I would call him smart. Especially if the rabbit took his winnings to another forest, found another talking fruit, and set his con into motion again...barring some sort of animal police force capable of tracking fugitive rabbits. In that case, he's pretty dumb too.


Given the fact that it was a hare that ran the race, not a rabbit, you may have failed. Besides, everyone knows rabbits can't talk.
 
2012-04-20 02:47:18 PM
TELEFRANCAIS!
 
2012-04-20 02:47:20 PM

KyDave: 1) Ate it 'cause it couldn't defend itself/stop them

2) Smartest animal figured out #1 first


Duh...
a. they were annoyed
b. moose

/not very hard.
//ask me to show my work if you don't get it.


The moose was too dumb to realize "something up its sleeve" is an idiomatic expression. Nothing wise about that.
 
2012-04-20 02:48:57 PM

RembrandtQEinstein: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x225]

Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)


Nous nous appelons les squelettes!

/fark the peyote trip
//I just had an acid flashback to first grade
///Their theme song was catchy
////Téléfrancais! Téléfrancais! Téléfrancais!
 
2012-04-20 02:48:57 PM

Wellon Dowd: miss jinxed: Here are some questions I'd like to see on state exams:

Ten crows are sitting on a fence, a cat pounces and eats one crow. How many are left?

Vague reference. How many what?

Two drops of water, plus two drops of water equal how many drop of water?

A drop can only be singular. If you had asked how many drops of water?, well that would be a different matter.

Two cats plus two sardines equals what?

One hell of a good stew.

Redesign the human genitals so that they might be more equitable (as a writing or art exam question)


Thank you for reminding me to proofread things.
 
2012-04-20 02:48:58 PM
 
2012-04-20 02:49:28 PM

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


Which makes so much sense for a multiple choice answer.
 
2012-04-20 02:49:42 PM
koder
There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


That's some good peyote, huh?
 
2012-04-20 02:49:52 PM
Clearly the hare is the smartest, for being able to convince all the other animals of the forest that a pineapple talked to him and challenged him to a race, yet while being immobile, managed to find its way to this enchanted forest unnoticed.

Naturally, they ate the pineapple out of frustration and embarrassment.
 
2012-04-20 02:50:41 PM

toraque: This question sounds like it should have been on the G.O.A.T.

Billy, 'You thought the crow was the wisest? Well, that means you're going to be a plumber.'


First thing I thought!

A. The Overseer
 
2012-04-20 02:51:21 PM

Boston Kiwi: MoronLessOff: It is my belief that the animals ate the talking pineapple because they feel they had been swindled. The pineapple, presumably knowing he wouldn't win any race, challenged one of the fastest runners. The other animals sense the race is fixed and bet on the pineapple to reap the rewards. When the pineapple predictably losses the race, the animals would be understandably upset and they take the fruit as their reward or revenge.

The wisest animal would have to be the rabbit, since there is no explicit mention of an owl. I believe the rabbit was in on the fix. Knowing he could best a fruit in a race, but the other animals would wager against him, he stands to lose nothing and make a beneficial gain. However, it could be argued that this isn't exactly a wise move. Seeing as the other animals ate a talking and presumably intelligent/sentient being, who's to say they wouldn't take additional revenge on the rabbit if they ever discovered the scheme. He may not be very wise, but I would call him smart. Especially if the rabbit took his winnings to another forest, found another talking fruit, and set his con into motion again...barring some sort of animal police force capable of tracking fugitive rabbits. In that case, he's pretty dumb too.

Given the fact that it was a hare that ran the race, not a rabbit, you may have failed. Besides, everyone knows rabbits can't talk.


Picky picky. Ok, substitute every instance of "rabbit" with "hare".

Now, if the pineapple can talk and the animals can place a wager, the hare can accept a race challenge, we have to assume the hare can talk. At the very least they have an advanced form of communication. This leads me to believe the hare is either a con-man, or part of the woodland mafia.
 
2012-04-20 02:52:08 PM
What happened to the money from the wagers?

/payback is a beotch
 
2012-04-20 02:52:41 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.


For 1, yeah a-c are causes/results of D.
For 2 I'm gonna say it was the hare. He got a free ninja out of the whole thing.
 
2012-04-20 02:52:51 PM
FTFA:They also noted that under new state rules, the questions and answers won't be released.

In other words: We're so stupid we're embarrassed to show you.
 
2012-04-20 02:53:48 PM
On a somewhat related note, I wonder if the Pearson Cisco exams are still as stupid and actively punitive as they used to be. "Well, obviously you know everything about IP networking that you should know if you're working on a network existing sometime in the last century. Now tell us the following: There are 47 nodes using 6 different VPN clients across the MAN but they all drank the CIDR and you're stuck using bananas and IS-IS. How many rabbits can you fit in NVRAM if you can remember the hex code for the registers in order to psychically interface with IOS 2.8, as written by Eleanor of Aquitaine, on a Thursday?

A) Notwithstanding, Bleu Cheese

B) BGP Reflection

C) Reflecting BGP

D)

E) Layer 3/5 of the OSI model. The number to the left will be either 3 or 5 on the screen, and whichever you select will be wrong, and will revert to the proper number after selection. Also, taking a picture of that with your cell phone that you forgot to hand in and they forgot to confiscate means you fail. GTFO while I laugh villainously."
 
2012-04-20 02:54:28 PM

Lunaville: SphericalTime: Actually, if the question was to determine writing skills rather than reading comprehension, I can see where putting an unclear situation like this in print might lead to more complicated answers from students. They want the kids to defend their position even though there isn't a clear-cut answer.

However, I suspect that this question was really supposed to be about reading comprehension and Ken Jennings is correct and someone wrote it during a Peyote trip.

I agree the questions cited may have been acceptable had they been essay questions, but they were multiple choice questions. That's not acceptable.


Oh, that's just nuts, yeah.
 
BHK
2012-04-20 02:55:51 PM
Mr. Owl, how many hares does it take to lick a pineapple?

blog.bridgelinedigital.com

Three!
 
2012-04-20 02:57:52 PM
That said, it would be hilarious if a student was scored based on their bafflement and the drawings/words they scrawled next to it.
 
2012-04-20 02:58:53 PM
The monkey.
 
2012-04-20 03:04:29 PM
Tu es un ananana? Je suis une banane! Hahahaha!!

Also, the correct answer was to leave the question blank, get up, and slap the teacher. None of the students answered correctly.
 
2012-04-20 03:09:22 PM
Process of elimination:


1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed - Possible
b. they were amused - Clearly not
c. they were hungry - Possible
d. they wanted to - This covers all possibilities. If they ate him because they were annoyed, they did it intentionally because they wanted to. If they ate him because they were hungary, they did so because they wanted to. Because A = D, C = D, A = C. Because A and C are equivalent, you should chose D because it is less restrictive and also is equivalent with A and C.

The answer here is D.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Eliminate D - there was no owl.
Eliminate Moose - He correctly noted that the pineapple does not have sleeves, but went along with the crow's gambit anyways.
Eliminate Hare - The hare offers no indication of wisdom. He merely agrees to a non-sensical race he believes he cannot lose. The pineapple also knows he cannot win. Therefore the pineapple must have an ulterior motive. That is, whatever the gain is for victory does not benefit him, so he intended to start a race he knew he would lose. The Pineapple either wanted the hare to have a lifetime supply of toothpaste and a ninja, or he believed that his ownership of such items would either harm him or have no net gain.

Chose Crow: Wisdom is not simply getting an answer correct. Wisdom is experiential knowledge. Intelligence is based on accumulated facts and logic and can be measured by how easily a person can attain correct knowledge of these things.

The crow evaluated a situation that made no sense, suspecting that people only do what is beneficial to them. He then believed this must mean the pineapple was being disingenuous. His choice, given all the information, was based experientially on the universe he understood, which indicates wisdom, even if he was incorrect.

The answer to 2 is C.
 
2012-04-20 03:13:19 PM
Actually, it was made for people like me who jump to the questions first...
Why do animals eat something? C, they where hungry.
Which animal is the wisest? D, the Owl is the wisest animal.

Tada!
 
2012-04-20 03:15:20 PM

fysheroes.files.wordpress.com

When the Pineapple loses, Magua will eat his heart. Before he dies, Magua will put his children under the knife, so the Pineapple will know his seed is wiped out forever.
 
2012-04-20 03:17:35 PM
How would William S. Burroughs answer the question?
 
2012-04-20 03:20:35 PM

dyli: (1) Annoyed
(2) Hare

I'm surprised how few people realized the answers to this. Personally, I found the scenario amusing to read, especially when compared to the standard reading comprehension exam dreck.


Clearly the hare was not the wisest. He just won a bet with the promise of some toothpaste, and a freaking ninja. Dumb farking hare eats the pineapple before he gets his payoff.

I agree with the poster who claimed it must be the owl for not hanging with this bunch of idiots.
 
2012-04-20 03:21:10 PM
The real question is which of the animals in the forest is the joker who used ventriloquism to make the pineapple talk? This on top of the stunt last year they pulled on the poor tortoise. Is there a cheetah named Jeff Dunham hanging around?
 
2012-04-20 03:26:16 PM

FarkingStan: Process of elimination:


1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed - Possible
b. they were amused - Clearly not
c. they were hungry - Possible
d. they wanted to - This covers all possibilities. If they ate him because they were annoyed, they did it intentionally because they wanted to. If they ate him because they were hungary, they did so because they wanted to. Because A = D, C = D, A = C. Because A and C are equivalent, you should chose D because it is less restrictive and also is equivalent with A and C.

The answer here is D.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Eliminate D - there was no owl.
Eliminate Moose - He correctly noted that the pineapple does not have sleeves, but went along with the crow's gambit anyways.
Eliminate Hare - The hare offers no indication of wisdom. He merely agrees to a non-sensical race he believes he cannot lose. The pineapple also knows he cannot win. Therefore the pineapple must have an ulterior motive. That is, whatever the gain is for victory does not benefit him, so he intended to start a race he knew he would lose. The Pineapple either wanted the hare to have a lifetime supply of toothpaste and a ninja, or he believed that his ownership of such items would either harm him or have no net gain.

Chose Crow: Wisdom is not simply getting an answer correct. Wisdom is experiential knowledge. Intelligence is based on accumulated facts and logic and can be measured by how easily a person can attain correct knowledge of these things.

The crow evaluated a situation that made no sense, suspecting that people only do what is beneficial to them. He then believed this must mean the pineapple was being disingenuous. His choice, given all the information, was based experientially on the universe he understood, which indicates wisdom, even if he was incorrect.

The answer to 2 is C.


Unfortunately for you, I spent several years in Australia building up an immunity to Iocaine powder.
 
2012-04-20 03:27:56 PM

Bubba_the_Hutt: Notice the "talking" pineapple didn't say a word after its conversation with Rabbit?

Rabbit = wisest


Oh for Pete's sake, you're right. In retrospect, the story practically goes out of its way to show the pineapple as inanimate with no interaction other than what the rabbit presumably shared with our narrator, who may not be omniscient. The story is random - but not illogical - and the real test is being able to question the source. Well-played.

Also, the article says "here are two of the questions" implying there may have been additional, less-outrageous questions about the same story.
 
2012-04-20 03:28:01 PM
www.robertjschwalb.com
 
2012-04-20 03:28:04 PM
If your grandmother told you she had committed a crime, would you turn her in?

Cool questions.
 
2012-04-20 03:29:45 PM

Virtue: Next question on the exam.

What is in my pocket.


Not fair! It isn't fair, my precious, is it, to ask us what it's got in its nassty little pocketses?
 
2012-04-20 03:29:52 PM
onlinephys.com
 
2012-04-20 03:30:47 PM
Who was the wisest? The moose. The moose is a strength-domain cleric and needs a high wisdom score in order to smite evil enemies and bite my sister.
 
2012-04-20 03:31:09 PM
StaleCoffee

Unfortunately for you, I spent several years in Australia building up an immunity to Iocaine powder.

--------
The real lesson here is you never challenge a hare when a pineapple is on the line.
 
2012-04-20 03:31:10 PM

Dimensio: In the story, a take-off on Aesop's fable about the tortoise and the hare, a talking pineapple challenges a hare to a race. The other animals wager on the immobile pineapple winning - and ponder whether it's tricking them.

When the pineapple fails to move and the rabbit wins, the animals dine on the pineapple.

I understand neither the purpose nor the value of the presented story, but I am able to state without reservation that it features a better ending than does Mass Effect 3.


-golfclap.jpg-
 
2012-04-20 03:31:43 PM

Fano: When you stand up, where does your lap go?
a) Lapland
b) the cellar
c) mooooooooooooooooooooooo


D) Penis

The right answer is always Penis.
 
2012-04-20 03:31:49 PM
An employee making up tests for Pearson creates a bizarre story about magical animals and talking fruit, then inserts it into a standardized test. The questions about the story confuses everyone. The employee is:

A) Off their meds.
B) Smoked out
C) Pissed at their supervisor and decides to be an a**hole!!!
 
2012-04-20 03:32:44 PM
1 - a. they were annoyed
2 - b. moose
 
2012-04-20 03:35:26 PM

StoPPeRmobile: If your grandmother told you she had committed a crime, would you turn her in?

Cool questions.


Nope. Snitches get stitches. unless this is an interview, in which case, you know, that largely depends on the gravity of the crime. It's important to be ethical in our dealings with one another, with our customers and our supply chain, and part of that requires that we police ourselves. This doesn't necessarily imply that it's appropriate to throw a comrade under the bus. After all, the important thing is that we all learn from our mistakes and grow as people because when we grow as people, we grow as an organization, and the growth and success of the enterprise is always our ultimate goal as employees. We're part of something here, and we need to own our mistakes. And we need to do our level best to prevent them from happening in the future.

How long do you want me to go on? I can shiat you around for at least another 5 paragraphs.
 
HBK
2012-04-20 03:36:47 PM

Rent Party: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.

All this tells us is that kids are a bunch of dumbasses, and Americans in general are a bunch of unaccountable pansies.


I'm going with C, they were hungry. The prompt provides that the animals could speak English, not that the animals were given human-like feelings, desires, or emotions. Animals eat because of instinct and hunger, not because they "want to."
 
2012-04-20 03:38:42 PM

StoPPeRmobile: If your grandmother told you she had committed a crime, would you turn her in?

Cool questions.



I would shoot her in the head.

/Goddam zombies.
 
2012-04-20 03:40:41 PM

koder: On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.


I would agree with you if it were a short response/essay format.

In multiple choice (assuming there was one answer), I can assure you this test is ridiculous and a test that will yield no valid assessment of the student's reading comprehension skill.
 
2012-04-20 03:40:43 PM
"When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a talking pineapple."
 
2012-04-20 03:41:15 PM
I'd like to see the actual question.
 
2012-04-20 03:42:46 PM

FlacidDonkey: An employee making up tests for Pearson creates a bizarre story about magical animals and talking fruit, then inserts it into a standardized test. The questions about the story confuses everyone. The employee is:

A) Off their meds.
B) Smoked out
C) Pissed at their supervisor and decides to be an a**hole!!!


WHile inconsistent with the facts of the story, this little interpretation reminded me of the days I spent reviewing software use-cases for medical crap.

Use case: "Baby is created in system with no mother identified."
Causes: 1) Mother dies during labor
2) Mother abandons baby at hospital
3) User omits entrance of mother in database throughout process.
4) User deletes mother when creating record associations for infant

Sub-causes: 1) Baby was born too late. Exactly 36 hours too late for the well being of the mother.
2) Streets be cold, yo.
3) Laziness
4) Peyote

Mitigations: 1) Create record for mother and move status to deceased. Time of death should coincide with time of birth. Automatic records update.
2) Create record for Jane Doe as mother. If unnamed, infant to be identified as J. Doe.
3) Increased accessibility of coffee in proximity of delivery ward.
4) Decreased accessibility of peyote in proximity of delivery ward.
 
2012-04-20 03:43:13 PM
 
2012-04-20 03:44:00 PM
The animals ate the pineapple because it is food.

The wisest animal was the coyote. He waited until all the other animals were too full from eating the pineapple and couldn't run away very fast, then he ate them.
 
2012-04-20 03:44:06 PM
Why did the animals eat the talking pineapple?

Because the pineapple couldn't talk them out of it. That should have been an option.
 
2012-04-20 03:45:11 PM

silverjets: The animals ate the pineapple because it is food.

The wisest animal was the coyote. He waited until all the other animals were too full from eating the pineapple and couldn't run away very fast, then he ate them.


This also explains the eagerness of the coyote to participate, despite having no evidence that the endeavor would succeed.
 
2012-04-20 03:45:40 PM
Hmmmm... the comments in the article are even more insightful. Students who actually took the real test are saying the article in the story has key facts wrong, and that the Owl seemed to be the correct answer. The reporter is rebuilding the story from other people's recollection, since the testing company won't release it.

If shown the correct story, Mr. Jennings might have said, "Obviously, the owl. What, are you an idiot?" and this would have never been published.
 
Displayed 50 of 338 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report