If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(New York Daily News)   In a world where America fights to remain in front: Talking pineapple question on state exam stumps Students, Teachers and Principals   (nydailynews.com) divider line 338
    More: Obvious, professor emeritus  
•       •       •

21796 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Apr 2012 at 1:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



338 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-20 01:52:18 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.


Does someone want to mention that it was a multiple choice question, and that he is therefore an idiot?
 
2012-04-20 01:53:36 PM  

Salt Lick Steady: All they had to do was follow the banana.


There's always money in the banana stand.
 
2012-04-20 01:54:01 PM  
In the story, a take-off on Aesop's fable about the tortoise and the hare, a talking pineapple challenges a hare to a race. The other animals wager on the immobile pineapple winning - and ponder whether it's tricking them.

When the pineapple fails to move and the rabbit wins, the animals dine on the pineapple.


I understand neither the purpose nor the value of the presented story, but I am able to state without reservation that it features a better ending than does Mass Effect 3.
 
2012-04-20 01:54:02 PM  
As I started reading the article, I thought "Pearson". And yes, it was. That company is a farking joke, yet they get billions from education every year. They can't deliver test results on time, and you can read what kind of questions they come up with. I swear they must be blackmailing school boards to get the contracts they have.

/not a teacher, just a parent that sees the crap they pull
 
2012-04-20 01:54:33 PM  

The Third Man: Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?

It is nevar placed back to front.


There is an "B" in both, and a "N" in neither
 
2012-04-20 01:54:34 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x225]

Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)


Les ananas ne parlent pas!

(back to the days of Junior High school French class. *shudder*)
 
2012-04-20 01:54:48 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


Oh wait, it was multiple choice? Well that's retarded then.

/moose was the wisest.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:10 PM  

HailRobonia: Damn, Americans are getting retarded. In China, kindergarteners are solving talking fruit problems at a high-school level.


It's because China has year round school and school on Saturdays. To remain competitive in the modern world, we have got to move to a year round, six day a week school system. Then American children will also be able to solve talking fruit problems.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:12 PM  
I think it's obvious that we are all less wise for even pondering that question.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:20 PM  

Rent Party: The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.


Incorrect. As you should have deduced from the various fantasy elements of the story -- talking animals, monkeys and moose occupying the same habitat, etc. -- the world in which this story takes place is presided over by a deranged and impulsive deity. You are all obsessed with the apparent illogic of a non-mobile pineapple challenging a speedy hare to a race, but the lack of any superficial logic justifying that plot element should have clued you into the fact that the author of the story was purposefully concealing something. The thing he was concealing is this: the insane deity that rules this world hath decreed that the penalty for losing any proposed race is to be immediately consumed. (The deity also imbued the pineapple with an unprecedented degree of hubris because the deity in question is a huge dick, but that's another matter.)

Thus, the animals ate the pineapple because that was the Law. They did not choose to.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:27 PM  
I figured the moose was the wisest -- he noted that pineapples don't have sleeves. I half expected him to also mention that snakes don't have arms - that's why they don't wear vests.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:55 PM  

Arkanaut: You laugh now, Daily News, but do you have a better way of telling which of our children are actually replicants?


I thought the story was a little Voight-Kampff-esque, too.

This might also be some kind of calibration question. Although I'm not sure what a nonsense question would be used to calibrate. Perhaps identify cheating if too many people chose the same answer?
 
2012-04-20 01:56:06 PM  

Uzzah: Rent Party: The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.

Incorrect. As you should have deduced from the various fantasy elements of the story -- talking animals, monkeys and moose occupying the same habitat, etc. -- the world in which this story takes place is presided over by a deranged and impulsive deity. You are all obsessed with the apparent illogic of a non-mobile pineapple challenging a speedy hare to a race, but the lack of any superficial logic justifying that plot element should have clued you into the fact that the author of the story was purposefully concealing something. The thing he was concealing is this: the insane deity that rules this world hath decreed that the penalty for losing any proposed race is to be immediately consumed. (The deity also imbued the pineapple with an unprecedented degree of hubris because the deity in question is a huge dick, but that's another matter.)

Thus, the animals ate the pineapple because that was the Law. They did not choose to.


That was beautiful.
 
2012-04-20 01:56:19 PM  
Why did the animals eat the talking pineapple?

E:) They did not understand it. What animals do not understand, they fear. And what they fear, they destroy.
 
2012-04-20 01:56:36 PM  
Pearson needs to be destroyed.
 
2012-04-20 01:56:44 PM  

thecpt: howdyyall9999: It's a psychological question not an intelligence question. Probably just pulled out of the wrong list and stuck on the test

I like this question actually. Its asking a kid to apply reason (if it is written explanation that its) to something which clearly has no logic. The why did they eat it could have a great social connotation for it not moving and wagering its life. The wisest, to me, is like a math question; each animal that did not run is the wisest for they are awarded for their intelligence with putting in minimal effort.


And there is an infinite number of "socially correct" answers

why did the animals eat the talking fruit, and which animal was wisest?

From:
they were hungry and the one that explained a fruit has no central nervous system to feel pain

to

they were mad it didn't play the game and the one that didn't partake in the eating
 
2012-04-20 01:57:13 PM  
You know, I can't answer those questions about the pineapple, or the hare, or whatever. But after reading that article, I have this strangest craving for an Oreo cookie.
 
2012-04-20 01:57:20 PM  
If the teacher doesn't know the answer then the correct answer is D: All of the above.
 
2012-04-20 01:57:51 PM  
C) No soap, radio!
 
2012-04-20 01:58:15 PM  
I thought the owl was the wisest, because doing a search on 'owl' finds no references to the owl other than it being an answer. Therefore the owl was wise enough to avoid the whole sham and not get stuck with a vegetarian meal.
 
2012-04-20 01:58:26 PM  
'My reaction is horror' Should read my OVERreaction is horror.
 
2012-04-20 01:58:38 PM  

Fish in a Barrel: Arkanaut: You laugh now, Daily News, but do you have a better way of telling which of our children are actually replicants?

I thought the story was a little Voight-Kampff-esque, too.

This might also be some kind of calibration question. Although I'm not sure what a nonsense question would be used to calibrate. Perhaps identify cheating if too many people chose the same answer?


Could be.
 
2012-04-20 01:58:55 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


Perhaps you missed the part where it was noted that the question was a multiple choice question?
 
2012-04-20 01:59:05 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.


Much like the US political system.


A) Red Authoritarian
B) Blue Authoritarian

some places get additional choices:

C) Mostly crazy Anarchist
D) Completely insane person.


anyway you want...
 
2012-04-20 02:00:44 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


You may need to hone up on those reading comprehension skills, as this is a multiple choice test, not an open ended question
 
2012-04-20 02:01:01 PM  
Maybe they're trying to identify replicants.
 
2012-04-20 02:01:34 PM  
Pearson publishes the worst university textbooks I have ever seen. The errors are enormous, obvious, and plentiful.
 
2012-04-20 02:01:49 PM  
MythDragon 2012-04-20 01:56:19 PM

Hahaha, nice juxtaposition there.
 
2012-04-20 02:02:09 PM  
But how would they catch a ninja to give away as a prize? This is something I NEED TO KNOW!
 
2012-04-20 02:02:26 PM  
The dumbest people are the ones who are busily trying to justify the presence of this question and the answers on the test.

Pearson spokesman Jason Smith said the state Education Department prohibited the company from speaking to the press on "matters like this."

Translation: We have no f*cking idea, and were hoping nobody would notice.
 
2012-04-20 02:02:42 PM  

MythDragon: The Third Man: Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?

It is nevar placed back to front.

There is an "B" in both, and a "N" in neither


Poe wrote on both
 
2012-04-20 02:02:55 PM  
Koder, I see that you have realized your mistake and I withdraw my snark

/just a little
 
2012-04-20 02:02:59 PM  
a. the hare was wisest. He ran fast and won like he should. After that earlier race with the tortoise, he wasn't making that mistake again.
 
2012-04-20 02:03:09 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x225]

Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)


That was where I went immediately. Frankly, I assumed it was on the French Regents.
 
2012-04-20 02:05:36 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


Only it was multiple choice.

Also, just answer C. To everything. C, C, C, C, C,C...
 
2012-04-20 02:05:52 PM  

Lunaville: angrycrank: But teachers who object to these standardised tests as a way to evaluate their performance are just a bunch of lazy overpaid union thugs, amirite? And those snowflakes should stop whining, get off my lawn, and gbtw.

/the hare was the wisest. He avoided all the crap philosophising and just ran the damn race.
/they ate the pineapple because they wanted to, duh.

How dare you claim they merely wanted to eat the pineapple! The animals were annoyed and they had a right to be annoyed. That smug, arrogant pineapple was sitting there, mocking the animals. The pineapple knew he didn't have feet! But who had the last laugh when that trickster found himself on the dinner menu?


Are you denigrating those animals by implying they couldn't possibly have controlled their emotions? No, they may have been annoyed, but they CHOSE to act on that annoyance by eating the pineapple, just as gays chose to be gay and dinosaurs chose to give rides to Jesus.
 
2012-04-20 02:05:56 PM  
What a talking pineapple might look like:
i1156.photobucket.com
Je suis un ananas
Obscure, very weird, Canadian French language kids' show: Téléfrançais
Wikipedia Entry
Episode

My mom, a high school French teacher, subjects her first year students to this as a hokey diversion.
/csb
 
2012-04-20 02:06:18 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: Pearson publishes the worst university textbooks I have ever seen. The errors are enormous, obvious, and plentiful.


I'm out of work and my skills aren't what they could be. Do you think Pearson has any job openings?
 
2012-04-20 02:06:40 PM  
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com

"Hey y'all, instead of just eating the pineapple, how about we pull out it's eye, make it eat it's eye, find someone with AIDS to pee in it's eye socket, and then rape it, and then eat it!
 
2012-04-20 02:06:57 PM  

StaleCoffee: Also, just answer C. To everything. C, C, C, C, C,C...


...OMBO BREAKER!
 
2012-04-20 02:07:23 PM  
1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to


From the question: The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were.
I would choose "a" for the answer.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

The moose stated the obvious, that pineapples do not have sleeves, and was called a fool for it. The crow suggested that everyone root for the fruit and this caused them all to feel foolish. The owl is never mentioned in the story. So, I would choose "a" for the answer.
 
2012-04-20 02:07:35 PM  
Am I the only person who honed in on this sentence?

All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees.

No shiat. Pineapples are also not ANIMALS. Might as well say "all the animals in the forest, but not the rocks". Whoever wrote that was definitely high.

So the animals and the pineapples speak English, "just like you and me". But not Miguel over there, that asshole speaks "ghetto".
 
2012-04-20 02:08:00 PM  
The moral of the story was if you're a pineapple without legs, don't talk shiat about how you are better than others, or else others will call you on your bullshiat and tear into you.
The animal who was wisest was the rabbit who ran against him, since he empirically proved that the pineapple was a lying bastard chump.
 
2012-04-20 02:08:00 PM  

SphericalTime: Actually, if the question was to determine writing skills rather than reading comprehension, I can see where putting an unclear situation like this in print might lead to more complicated answers from students. They want the kids to defend their position even though there isn't a clear-cut answer.

However, I suspect that this question was really supposed to be about reading comprehension and Ken Jennings is correct and someone wrote it during a Peyote trip.


If this were an essay question where the students could write and defend your answers you'd make a good point. creating and defending a consistent argument form this barely literate jumble would show good critical thinking skills. As it stands however, it is a multiple choice question with no correct answers, r at least none that can be derived as correct from the text.

I almost wonder if the testing company didn't outsource this year's question-writing to an Indian customer service call center. Even assuming the author was trying to be "hip" does this read like a sentence written by someone for whom English is a first language?

"The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, "Um, hi." The pineapple could speak English too."I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime's supply of toothpaste!" The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.
The next day, the competition was coming into play..."

I mean WTF is A Rabbit, let alone a pineapple gonna do with a ninja? I mean a pirate I could see, but a ninja?
 
2012-04-20 02:08:13 PM  
I bet it's an unscored question designed to induce stress in the student. As an employer I want people that not only get the right answers, but also do so under stress. Just imagine putting that in early in a 60 question test. The rest of the day the student is thinking, "tha fark waz that?!?". Those able to cope with stress put it out of their minds while they concentrate on the other questions.
 
2012-04-20 02:08:23 PM  
The guinea pigs were the wise guys of the forest, The rabbit was a rum runner, and everyone knows pineapples taste great with rum.
 
2012-04-20 02:10:21 PM  

angrycrank: Lunaville: angrycrank: But teachers who object to these standardised tests as a way to evaluate their performance are just a bunch of lazy overpaid union thugs, amirite? And those snowflakes should stop whining, get off my lawn, and gbtw.

/the hare was the wisest. He avoided all the crap philosophising and just ran the damn race.
/they ate the pineapple because they wanted to, duh.

How dare you claim they merely wanted to eat the pineapple! The animals were annoyed and they had a right to be annoyed. That smug, arrogant pineapple was sitting there, mocking the animals. The pineapple knew he didn't have feet! But who had the last laugh when that trickster found himself on the dinner menu?

Are you denigrating those animals by implying they couldn't possibly have controlled their emotions? No, they may have been annoyed, but they CHOSE to act on that annoyance by eating the pineapple, just as gays chose to be gay and dinosaurs chose to give rides to Jesus.


That pineapple was manipulative. Are you implying the animals didn't have a right to defend themselves against, and dine upon the tasty goodness, of a sociopath-huckster like the pineapple?
 
2012-04-20 02:10:30 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: MythDragon: The Third Man: Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?

It is nevar placed back to front.

There is an "B" in both, and a "N" in neither

One has ink and quills, the other inky quills.

 
2012-04-20 02:10:34 PM  
The question is clearly racist.
 
2012-04-20 02:10:57 PM  
Why does the porridge bird lay it's egg in the air?
 
Displayed 50 of 338 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report