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(New York Daily News)   In a world where America fights to remain in front: Talking pineapple question on state exam stumps Students, Teachers and Principals   (nydailynews.com ) divider line 338
    More: Obvious, professor emeritus  
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21809 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Apr 2012 at 1:36 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-20 12:49:41 PM  
Actually, if the question was to determine writing skills rather than reading comprehension, I can see where putting an unclear situation like this in print might lead to more complicated answers from students. They want the kids to defend their position even though there isn't a clear-cut answer.

However, I suspect that this question was really supposed to be about reading comprehension and Ken Jennings is correct and someone wrote it during a Peyote trip.
 
2012-04-20 01:29:21 PM  
That looks like a good question for the LSAT. What motive can we attribute to the animals, given the facts of the case? And anyone who doesn't know that the owl is always the wisest mofo in the forest doesn't belong in 3rd grade, let alone law school.
 
2012-04-20 01:36:53 PM  
1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!
 
2012-04-20 01:38:21 PM  
"Where'd you get a scar like that Tony the Tiger, eatin' pineapple?"
 
2012-04-20 01:39:13 PM  
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-04-20 01:39:29 PM  
Also, the wisest animal was the hare for running away from a talking pineapple.
 
2012-04-20 01:39:41 PM  
FTFA: Scarsdale Middle School Principal Michael McDermott said the question has been used before and "confused students in six or seven different states."

And he had a quick answer to the question of who is the wisest: "Pearson for getting paid $32 million for recycling this crap."


At least someone gets it. It's not about educating children, it's about how much can a corporation make off of it.
 
2012-04-20 01:40:21 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)
 
2012-04-20 01:40:37 PM  

Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!


d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.
 
2012-04-20 01:40:47 PM  
All they had to do was follow the banana.
 
2012-04-20 01:41:45 PM  
fta: And he had a quick answer to the question of who is the wisest: "Pearson for getting paid $32 million for recycling this crap."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/talking-pineapple-question-state-e xam-stumps-article-1.1064657#ixzz1sbTeU9Xq

$32 million dollars. Gee, I wonder why students spend so much time in testing?
 
2012-04-20 01:42:04 PM  
When in doubt...

E) all of the above
 
2012-04-20 01:42:22 PM  
I do enjoy a fresh pineapple.

/dnrtfa
 
2012-04-20 01:42:49 PM  
But teachers who object to these standardised tests as a way to evaluate their performance are just a bunch of lazy overpaid union thugs, amirite? And those snowflakes should stop whining, get off my lawn, and gbtw.

/the hare was the wisest. He avoided all the crap philosophising and just ran the damn race.
/they ate the pineapple because they wanted to, duh.
 
2012-04-20 01:43:00 PM  

SphericalTime: Actually, if the question was to determine writing skills rather than reading comprehension, I can see where putting an unclear situation like this in print might lead to more complicated answers from students. They want the kids to defend their position even though there isn't a clear-cut answer.

However, I suspect that this question was really supposed to be about reading comprehension and Ken Jennings is correct and someone wrote it during a Peyote trip.


I agree the questions cited may have been acceptable had they been essay questions, but they were multiple choice questions. That's not acceptable.
 
2012-04-20 01:43:03 PM  
The hare represents Mitt Romney, the pineapple represents Michelle Bachmann or perhaps, her husband.

The crow is Ron Paul, the Moose is Newt Gingrich.

The owl represents a Republican candidate winning the Presidency.

They ate Michelle Bachmann because A> they were annoyed, and B> you try and shut annoying people up.
 
2012-04-20 01:43:15 PM  
Here is the correct answer:

img51.imageshack.us
 
2012-04-20 01:43:22 PM  
Damn, Americans are getting retarded. In China, kindergarteners are solving talking fruit problems at a high-school level.
 
2012-04-20 01:43:49 PM  
It almost seems like some crazy attempt to identify personality types, or find sociopaths, or some Prisoner-esque crap like that.
 
2012-04-20 01:44:04 PM  
Clearly they ate the pineapple because pineapples are delicious.

As for the "wisest animal", no animal is truly wise, therefore they were all equally un-wise....yet somehow they were all far more wise than the pineapple.
 
2012-04-20 01:44:50 PM  
You laugh now, Daily News, but do you have a better way of telling which of our children are actually replicants?
 
2012-04-20 01:45:00 PM  
The pineapple in question. He doesn't look so dumb now, does he?

www.hiphoprx.com
 
2012-04-20 01:45:07 PM  
The title of the picture is "Pineapple, front view"

What, is the back view too racy for the kids?
 
2012-04-20 01:45:20 PM  

Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!


The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.

All this tells us is that kids are a bunch of dumbasses, and Americans in general are a bunch of unaccountable pansies.
 
2012-04-20 01:45:54 PM  
i37.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-20 01:46:33 PM  
It is my belief that the animals ate the talking pineapple because they feel they had been swindled. The pineapple, presumably knowing he wouldn't win any race, challenged one of the fastest runners. The other animals sense the race is fixed and bet on the pineapple to reap the rewards. When the pineapple predictably losses the race, the animals would be understandably upset and they take the fruit as their reward or revenge.

The wisest animal would have to be the rabbit, since there is no explicit mention of an owl. I believe the rabbit was in on the fix. Knowing he could best a fruit in a race, but the other animals would wager against him, he stands to lose nothing and make a beneficial gain. However, it could be argued that this isn't exactly a wise move. Seeing as the other animals ate a talking and presumably intelligent/sentient being, who's to say they wouldn't take additional revenge on the rabbit if they ever discovered the scheme. He may not be very wise, but I would call him smart. Especially if the rabbit took his winnings to another forest, found another talking fruit, and set his con into motion again...barring some sort of animal police force capable of tracking fugitive rabbits. In that case, he's pretty dumb too.
 
2012-04-20 01:46:36 PM  
1 I have two coins in my pockets adding up to 30 cents. One is not a nickel. What is the other one?

2. How is a raven like a writing desk?
a) Swag
b) lewtz
c) pineapple

3. Is the King of France Bald?
a) yes
b) short answer yes with an if long answer no with a but
c) wat?
 
2012-04-20 01:47:07 PM  
There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.
 
2012-04-20 01:47:20 PM  
It's a psychological question not an intelligence question. Probably just pulled out of the wrong list and stuck on the test
 
2012-04-20 01:47:50 PM  
they ate the pineapple because they had an orgy scheduled for later, and they wanted to taste their very best.
 
2012-04-20 01:48:00 PM  
I'm pretty sure this is just a test to see which students are tripping on acid while writing the test.
 
2012-04-20 01:48:11 PM  

angrycrank: But teachers who object to these standardised tests as a way to evaluate their performance are just a bunch of lazy overpaid union thugs, amirite? And those snowflakes should stop whining, get off my lawn, and gbtw.

/the hare was the wisest. He avoided all the crap philosophising and just ran the damn race.
/they ate the pineapple because they wanted to, duh.


How dare you claim they merely wanted to eat the pineapple! The animals were annoyed and they had a right to be annoyed. That smug, arrogant pineapple was sitting there, mocking the animals. The pineapple knew he didn't have feet! But who had the last laugh when that trickster found himself on the dinner menu?
 
2012-04-20 01:48:32 PM  

Rent Party: The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.


No, not true. They could have tripped and fallen on the fruit, which is the most common cause of a pineapple ending up inside somebody.
 
2012-04-20 01:48:33 PM  
The answer is e. Potato
 
2012-04-20 01:48:46 PM  
Here we go again
i11.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-20 01:49:00 PM  
Came here for the Telefrancais, glad to see RembrandtQEinstein has that covered, leaving happily.
 
2012-04-20 01:49:41 PM  
1 a nickel
2 pineapple
3. wat because there is no king
 
2012-04-20 01:49:43 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Rent Party: The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.

No, not true. They could have tripped and fallen on the fruit, which is the most common cause of a pineapple ending up inside somebody.


There is no indication that this pineapple was wearing a hoodie, drinking tea, or eating skittles.
 
2012-04-20 01:49:49 PM  
THEN WHO WAS PINEAPPLE?!
 
2012-04-20 01:49:52 PM  
It's a neat tale that shows how dumb ideas can spread and how they can even seem logical to some people. I'm just not sure that you can turn it into a multiple choice test question.
 
2012-04-20 01:49:57 PM  

Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?


It is nevar placed back to front.
 
2012-04-20 01:51:22 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Rent Party: The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.

No, not true. They could have tripped and fallen on the fruit, which is the most common cause of a pineapple ending up inside somebody.


The odds are astronomical, still it happens all the time, it's strange how many people take a pineapple into the shower.
 
2012-04-20 01:51:38 PM  
This question is farking stupid. The prize is a Ninja and toothpaste? How farking random are those two things? They are worse then useless. Fluroide would poison the rabbit, and as far as the Ninja, you know what would happen to the pineapple...
www.downloadatoz.com
 
2012-04-20 01:51:44 PM  

howdyyall9999: It's a psychological question not an intelligence question. Probably just pulled out of the wrong list and stuck on the test


I like this question actually. Its asking a kid to apply reason (if it is written explanation that its) to something which clearly has no logic. The why did they eat it could have a great social connotation for it not moving and wagering its life. The wisest, to me, is like a math question; each animal that did not run is the wisest for they are awarded for their intelligence with putting in minimal effort.
 
M-G
2012-04-20 01:51:51 PM  
The principal quoted in TFA deserves a HERO tag. But since he spoke out, he's probably not getting his contract renewed....
 
2012-04-20 01:51:53 PM  
Why did the animals eat the talking fruit, and which animal was wisest?


barnesjewishhospital.files.wordpress.com

...D. F*ck yourself.
 
2012-04-20 01:51:54 PM  
 
2012-04-20 01:51:56 PM  
This question sounds like it should have been on the G.O.A.T.

Billy, 'You thought the crow was the wisest? Well, that means you're going to be a plumber.'
 
2012-04-20 01:52:07 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.


Did you not read the entire article? The "open-ended" questions were multiple choice.
 
2012-04-20 01:52:12 PM  
When you stand up, where does your lap go?
a) Lapland
b) the cellar
c) mooooooooooooooooooooooo
 
2012-04-20 01:52:18 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.


Does someone want to mention that it was a multiple choice question, and that he is therefore an idiot?
 
2012-04-20 01:53:36 PM  

Salt Lick Steady: All they had to do was follow the banana.


There's always money in the banana stand.
 
2012-04-20 01:54:01 PM  
In the story, a take-off on Aesop's fable about the tortoise and the hare, a talking pineapple challenges a hare to a race. The other animals wager on the immobile pineapple winning - and ponder whether it's tricking them.

When the pineapple fails to move and the rabbit wins, the animals dine on the pineapple.


I understand neither the purpose nor the value of the presented story, but I am able to state without reservation that it features a better ending than does Mass Effect 3.
 
2012-04-20 01:54:02 PM  
As I started reading the article, I thought "Pearson". And yes, it was. That company is a farking joke, yet they get billions from education every year. They can't deliver test results on time, and you can read what kind of questions they come up with. I swear they must be blackmailing school boards to get the contracts they have.

/not a teacher, just a parent that sees the crap they pull
 
2012-04-20 01:54:33 PM  

The Third Man: Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?

It is nevar placed back to front.


There is an "B" in both, and a "N" in neither
 
2012-04-20 01:54:34 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x225]

Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)


Les ananas ne parlent pas!

(back to the days of Junior High school French class. *shudder*)
 
2012-04-20 01:54:48 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


Oh wait, it was multiple choice? Well that's retarded then.

/moose was the wisest.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:10 PM  

HailRobonia: Damn, Americans are getting retarded. In China, kindergarteners are solving talking fruit problems at a high-school level.


It's because China has year round school and school on Saturdays. To remain competitive in the modern world, we have got to move to a year round, six day a week school system. Then American children will also be able to solve talking fruit problems.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:12 PM  
I think it's obvious that we are all less wise for even pondering that question.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:20 PM  

Rent Party: The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.


Incorrect. As you should have deduced from the various fantasy elements of the story -- talking animals, monkeys and moose occupying the same habitat, etc. -- the world in which this story takes place is presided over by a deranged and impulsive deity. You are all obsessed with the apparent illogic of a non-mobile pineapple challenging a speedy hare to a race, but the lack of any superficial logic justifying that plot element should have clued you into the fact that the author of the story was purposefully concealing something. The thing he was concealing is this: the insane deity that rules this world hath decreed that the penalty for losing any proposed race is to be immediately consumed. (The deity also imbued the pineapple with an unprecedented degree of hubris because the deity in question is a huge dick, but that's another matter.)

Thus, the animals ate the pineapple because that was the Law. They did not choose to.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:27 PM  
I figured the moose was the wisest -- he noted that pineapples don't have sleeves. I half expected him to also mention that snakes don't have arms - that's why they don't wear vests.
 
2012-04-20 01:55:55 PM  

Arkanaut: You laugh now, Daily News, but do you have a better way of telling which of our children are actually replicants?


I thought the story was a little Voight-Kampff-esque, too.

This might also be some kind of calibration question. Although I'm not sure what a nonsense question would be used to calibrate. Perhaps identify cheating if too many people chose the same answer?
 
2012-04-20 01:56:06 PM  

Uzzah: Rent Party: The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.

Incorrect. As you should have deduced from the various fantasy elements of the story -- talking animals, monkeys and moose occupying the same habitat, etc. -- the world in which this story takes place is presided over by a deranged and impulsive deity. You are all obsessed with the apparent illogic of a non-mobile pineapple challenging a speedy hare to a race, but the lack of any superficial logic justifying that plot element should have clued you into the fact that the author of the story was purposefully concealing something. The thing he was concealing is this: the insane deity that rules this world hath decreed that the penalty for losing any proposed race is to be immediately consumed. (The deity also imbued the pineapple with an unprecedented degree of hubris because the deity in question is a huge dick, but that's another matter.)

Thus, the animals ate the pineapple because that was the Law. They did not choose to.


That was beautiful.
 
2012-04-20 01:56:19 PM  
Why did the animals eat the talking pineapple?

E:) They did not understand it. What animals do not understand, they fear. And what they fear, they destroy.
 
2012-04-20 01:56:36 PM  
Pearson needs to be destroyed.
 
2012-04-20 01:56:44 PM  

thecpt: howdyyall9999: It's a psychological question not an intelligence question. Probably just pulled out of the wrong list and stuck on the test

I like this question actually. Its asking a kid to apply reason (if it is written explanation that its) to something which clearly has no logic. The why did they eat it could have a great social connotation for it not moving and wagering its life. The wisest, to me, is like a math question; each animal that did not run is the wisest for they are awarded for their intelligence with putting in minimal effort.


And there is an infinite number of "socially correct" answers

why did the animals eat the talking fruit, and which animal was wisest?

From:
they were hungry and the one that explained a fruit has no central nervous system to feel pain

to

they were mad it didn't play the game and the one that didn't partake in the eating
 
2012-04-20 01:57:13 PM  
You know, I can't answer those questions about the pineapple, or the hare, or whatever. But after reading that article, I have this strangest craving for an Oreo cookie.
 
2012-04-20 01:57:20 PM  
If the teacher doesn't know the answer then the correct answer is D: All of the above.
 
2012-04-20 01:57:51 PM  
C) No soap, radio!
 
2012-04-20 01:58:15 PM  
I thought the owl was the wisest, because doing a search on 'owl' finds no references to the owl other than it being an answer. Therefore the owl was wise enough to avoid the whole sham and not get stuck with a vegetarian meal.
 
2012-04-20 01:58:26 PM  
'My reaction is horror' Should read my OVERreaction is horror.
 
2012-04-20 01:58:38 PM  

Fish in a Barrel: Arkanaut: You laugh now, Daily News, but do you have a better way of telling which of our children are actually replicants?

I thought the story was a little Voight-Kampff-esque, too.

This might also be some kind of calibration question. Although I'm not sure what a nonsense question would be used to calibrate. Perhaps identify cheating if too many people chose the same answer?


Could be.
 
2012-04-20 01:58:55 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


Perhaps you missed the part where it was noted that the question was a multiple choice question?
 
2012-04-20 01:59:05 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.


Much like the US political system.


A) Red Authoritarian
B) Blue Authoritarian

some places get additional choices:

C) Mostly crazy Anarchist
D) Completely insane person.


anyway you want...
 
2012-04-20 02:00:44 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


You may need to hone up on those reading comprehension skills, as this is a multiple choice test, not an open ended question
 
2012-04-20 02:01:01 PM  
Maybe they're trying to identify replicants.
 
2012-04-20 02:01:34 PM  
Pearson publishes the worst university textbooks I have ever seen. The errors are enormous, obvious, and plentiful.
 
2012-04-20 02:01:49 PM  
MythDragon 2012-04-20 01:56:19 PM

Hahaha, nice juxtaposition there.
 
2012-04-20 02:02:09 PM  
But how would they catch a ninja to give away as a prize? This is something I NEED TO KNOW!
 
2012-04-20 02:02:26 PM  
The dumbest people are the ones who are busily trying to justify the presence of this question and the answers on the test.

Pearson spokesman Jason Smith said the state Education Department prohibited the company from speaking to the press on "matters like this."

Translation: We have no f*cking idea, and were hoping nobody would notice.
 
2012-04-20 02:02:42 PM  

MythDragon: The Third Man: Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?

It is nevar placed back to front.

There is an "B" in both, and a "N" in neither


Poe wrote on both
 
2012-04-20 02:02:55 PM  
Koder, I see that you have realized your mistake and I withdraw my snark

/just a little
 
2012-04-20 02:02:59 PM  
a. the hare was wisest. He ran fast and won like he should. After that earlier race with the tortoise, he wasn't making that mistake again.
 
2012-04-20 02:03:09 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x225]

Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)


That was where I went immediately. Frankly, I assumed it was on the French Regents.
 
2012-04-20 02:05:36 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


Only it was multiple choice.

Also, just answer C. To everything. C, C, C, C, C,C...
 
2012-04-20 02:05:52 PM  

Lunaville: angrycrank: But teachers who object to these standardised tests as a way to evaluate their performance are just a bunch of lazy overpaid union thugs, amirite? And those snowflakes should stop whining, get off my lawn, and gbtw.

/the hare was the wisest. He avoided all the crap philosophising and just ran the damn race.
/they ate the pineapple because they wanted to, duh.

How dare you claim they merely wanted to eat the pineapple! The animals were annoyed and they had a right to be annoyed. That smug, arrogant pineapple was sitting there, mocking the animals. The pineapple knew he didn't have feet! But who had the last laugh when that trickster found himself on the dinner menu?


Are you denigrating those animals by implying they couldn't possibly have controlled their emotions? No, they may have been annoyed, but they CHOSE to act on that annoyance by eating the pineapple, just as gays chose to be gay and dinosaurs chose to give rides to Jesus.
 
2012-04-20 02:05:56 PM  
What a talking pineapple might look like:
i1156.photobucket.com
Je suis un ananas
Obscure, very weird, Canadian French language kids' show: Téléfrançais
Wikipedia Entry
Episode

My mom, a high school French teacher, subjects her first year students to this as a hokey diversion.
/csb
 
2012-04-20 02:06:18 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: Pearson publishes the worst university textbooks I have ever seen. The errors are enormous, obvious, and plentiful.


I'm out of work and my skills aren't what they could be. Do you think Pearson has any job openings?
 
2012-04-20 02:06:40 PM  
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com

"Hey y'all, instead of just eating the pineapple, how about we pull out it's eye, make it eat it's eye, find someone with AIDS to pee in it's eye socket, and then rape it, and then eat it!
 
2012-04-20 02:06:57 PM  

StaleCoffee: Also, just answer C. To everything. C, C, C, C, C,C...


...OMBO BREAKER!
 
2012-04-20 02:07:23 PM  
1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to


From the question: The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were.
I would choose "a" for the answer.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

The moose stated the obvious, that pineapples do not have sleeves, and was called a fool for it. The crow suggested that everyone root for the fruit and this caused them all to feel foolish. The owl is never mentioned in the story. So, I would choose "a" for the answer.
 
2012-04-20 02:07:35 PM  
Am I the only person who honed in on this sentence?

All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees.

No shiat. Pineapples are also not ANIMALS. Might as well say "all the animals in the forest, but not the rocks". Whoever wrote that was definitely high.

So the animals and the pineapples speak English, "just like you and me". But not Miguel over there, that asshole speaks "ghetto".
 
2012-04-20 02:08:00 PM  
The moral of the story was if you're a pineapple without legs, don't talk shiat about how you are better than others, or else others will call you on your bullshiat and tear into you.
The animal who was wisest was the rabbit who ran against him, since he empirically proved that the pineapple was a lying bastard chump.
 
2012-04-20 02:08:00 PM  

SphericalTime: Actually, if the question was to determine writing skills rather than reading comprehension, I can see where putting an unclear situation like this in print might lead to more complicated answers from students. They want the kids to defend their position even though there isn't a clear-cut answer.

However, I suspect that this question was really supposed to be about reading comprehension and Ken Jennings is correct and someone wrote it during a Peyote trip.


If this were an essay question where the students could write and defend your answers you'd make a good point. creating and defending a consistent argument form this barely literate jumble would show good critical thinking skills. As it stands however, it is a multiple choice question with no correct answers, r at least none that can be derived as correct from the text.

I almost wonder if the testing company didn't outsource this year's question-writing to an Indian customer service call center. Even assuming the author was trying to be "hip" does this read like a sentence written by someone for whom English is a first language?

"The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, "Um, hi." The pineapple could speak English too."I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime's supply of toothpaste!" The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.
The next day, the competition was coming into play..."

I mean WTF is A Rabbit, let alone a pineapple gonna do with a ninja? I mean a pirate I could see, but a ninja?
 
2012-04-20 02:08:13 PM  
I bet it's an unscored question designed to induce stress in the student. As an employer I want people that not only get the right answers, but also do so under stress. Just imagine putting that in early in a 60 question test. The rest of the day the student is thinking, "tha fark waz that?!?". Those able to cope with stress put it out of their minds while they concentrate on the other questions.
 
2012-04-20 02:08:23 PM  
The guinea pigs were the wise guys of the forest, The rabbit was a rum runner, and everyone knows pineapples taste great with rum.
 
2012-04-20 02:10:21 PM  

angrycrank: Lunaville: angrycrank: But teachers who object to these standardised tests as a way to evaluate their performance are just a bunch of lazy overpaid union thugs, amirite? And those snowflakes should stop whining, get off my lawn, and gbtw.

/the hare was the wisest. He avoided all the crap philosophising and just ran the damn race.
/they ate the pineapple because they wanted to, duh.

How dare you claim they merely wanted to eat the pineapple! The animals were annoyed and they had a right to be annoyed. That smug, arrogant pineapple was sitting there, mocking the animals. The pineapple knew he didn't have feet! But who had the last laugh when that trickster found himself on the dinner menu?

Are you denigrating those animals by implying they couldn't possibly have controlled their emotions? No, they may have been annoyed, but they CHOSE to act on that annoyance by eating the pineapple, just as gays chose to be gay and dinosaurs chose to give rides to Jesus.


That pineapple was manipulative. Are you implying the animals didn't have a right to defend themselves against, and dine upon the tasty goodness, of a sociopath-huckster like the pineapple?
 
2012-04-20 02:10:30 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: MythDragon: The Third Man: Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?

It is nevar placed back to front.

There is an "B" in both, and a "N" in neither

One has ink and quills, the other inky quills.

 
2012-04-20 02:10:34 PM  
The question is clearly racist.
 
2012-04-20 02:10:57 PM  
Why does the porridge bird lay it's egg in the air?
 
2012-04-20 02:11:15 PM  
Grammar fail in the first sentence of that mess.
 
2012-04-20 02:11:56 PM  

Russ1642: It's a neat tale that shows how dumb ideas can spread and how they can even seem logical to some people...


Sounds like most of the threads on fark.
 
2012-04-20 02:11:59 PM  
southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com

I'd answer in the context of Paris Hilton in a Whore-Off.
 
2012-04-20 02:13:06 PM  

Uzzah: Thus, the animals ate the pineapple because that was the Law. They did not choose to.


I thought the Law for talking animals was "No Spill Blood" ?
 
2012-04-20 02:13:32 PM  

Uzzah: Rent Party: The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.

Incorrect. As you should have deduced from the various fantasy elements of the story -- talking animals, monkeys and moose occupying the same habitat, etc. -- the world in which this story takes place is presided over by a deranged and impulsive deity. You are all obsessed with the apparent illogic of a non-mobile pineapple challenging a speedy hare to a race, but the lack of any superficial logic justifying that plot element should have clued you into the fact that the author of the story was purposefully concealing something. The thing he was concealing is this: the insane deity that rules this world hath decreed that the penalty for losing any proposed race is to be immediately consumed. (The deity also imbued the pineapple with an unprecedented degree of hubris because the deity in question is a huge dick, but that's another matter.)

Thus, the animals ate the pineapple because that was the Law. They did not choose to.


Nice!

* golf clap *
 
2012-04-20 02:14:39 PM  
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-04-20 02:15:59 PM  
Notice the "talking" pineapple didn't say a word after its conversation with Rabbit? That's because rabbit made up a story about the pineapple being able to talk and challenge him to a race, so he could con the other animals.

Rabbit = wisest
 
2012-04-20 02:16:18 PM  
I ate a talking pineapple once...I could have sworn the bowel movement I had the next day said, "hello..."

/With sincere apologies to Tom Robbins
 
2012-04-20 02:16:40 PM  
Ambrose Bierce concludes the introduction to Write It Right (his 1909 handbook on usage and style), with the following paragraph:

Precision is much, but not all; some words and phrases are disallowed on the ground of taste. As there are neither standards nor arbiters of taste, the book can do little more than reflect that of its author, who is far indeed from professing impeccability. In neither taste nor precision is any man's practice a court of last appeal, for writers all, both great and small, are habitual sinners against the light; and their accuser is cheerfully aware that his own work will supply (as in making this book it has supplied) many "awful examples"--his later work less abundantly, he hopes, than his earlier. He nevertheless believes that this does not disqualify him for showing by other instances than his own how not to write. The infallible teacher is still in the forest primeval, throwing seeds to the white blackbirds.

Q: What is the primary attribute of a `white blackbird'?
 
2012-04-20 02:16:56 PM  
but how many pineapple upside-down cakes did Lex Luthor steal?
 
2012-04-20 02:16:58 PM  
In any single standardized science test I have seen in the last 9 years there is at least one question that will stump a group of teachers - either through being VERY poorly worded or outright impossible with the information given.
 
2012-04-20 02:17:11 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

/will eat your pineapple
 
2012-04-20 02:17:44 PM  

Lunaville: Bennie Crabtree: Pearson publishes the worst university textbooks I have ever seen. The errors are enormous, obvious, and plentiful.

I'm out of work and my skills aren't what they could be. Do you think Pearson has any job openings?


Your sentence was easily read, had no errors and made perfect sense. You're overqualified for a position at Pearson.
 
2012-04-20 02:18:04 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x225]

Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)


missed that, glad I am not the only one

yes obscure
 
ows
2012-04-20 02:18:23 PM  
well since this is a fictional question, i would give one hell of a convoluted answer. maybe something about the "other animals" being some sort of mutated cross species that feed strictly on the brains of idiots who make up farked up test questions.
 
2012-04-20 02:18:23 PM  
The bottom line is that this 2 part question actually had 2 part correct answers. Pressure should be put on this company to give the correct answers, and the reasoning behind it. They are basing children's futures on the correct answer to this question.
 
2012-04-20 02:18:57 PM  

Bubba_the_Hutt: Notice the "talking" pineapple didn't say a word after its conversation with Rabbit? That's because rabbit made up a story about the pineapple being able to talk and challenge him to a race, so he could con the other animals.

Rabbit = wisest


shh.. dont spoil it
 
2012-04-20 02:18:59 PM  
Perhaps this will help:
files.redux.com
 
2012-04-20 02:19:47 PM  
People are stupid this is an easy question to answer.
1.Why did the animals eat the pineapple? a. they were annoyed
2.Who was the wisest? a. the hare
The animals were upset at their own stupidity so they lashed out at the pineapple as is often the case with stupid people anger is always a tool for the weak of mind. The hare was the wisest for accepting a race he knew he could easily win.

I cry for the human race.
 
2012-04-20 02:23:08 PM  
I'm pretty sure the answer is 42
 
2012-04-20 02:23:14 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: Pearson publishes the worst university textbooks I have ever seen. The errors are enormous, obvious, and plentiful.


Oh farking this! And their on-line learning system is horrifically bad. Besides making Blackboard's usability look like something Apple came up with, the material is often at direct odds with the textbooks.

Fark Pearson.

/ Just finished with a Pearson curriculum.
// We hates it...
 
2012-04-20 02:23:17 PM  
The pineapple knew its ruse would result in being eaten. Hell, the whole plan hinged on it. The pineapple knew that once consumed, the seeds inside it would pass through the animals' alimentary systems, and would be deposited in rich compost. The pineapple trees would then grow large and produce am army of pineapples, who would then decimate all mammalian life in the forest by using coordinated suicide attacks, during which they would fall on the animals' heads.
 
2012-04-20 02:23:28 PM  
Here are some questions I'd like to see on state exams:

Ten crows are sitting on a fence, a cat pounces and eats one crow. How many are left?

Two drops of water, plus two drops of water equal how many drop of water?

Two cats plus two sardines equals what?

Redesign the human genitals so that they might be more equitable (as a writing or art exam question)
 
2012-04-20 02:23:47 PM  

Crazy Lee: Q: What is the primary attribute of a `white blackbird'?


The glass ceiling is much higher.
 
2012-04-20 02:24:30 PM  

ChrisDe: As I started reading the article, I thought "Pearson". And yes, it was. That company is a farking joke, yet they get billions from education every year. They can't deliver test results on time, and you can read what kind of questions they come up with. I swear they must be blackmailing school boards to get the contracts they have.

/not a teacher, just a parent that sees the crap they pull


This.

I've had minor encounters with these Pearson assclowns over the years - this is par for the course.

From everything I've seen, they're an education company in name only. They really just seem to be a marketing firm that uses strong-arm sales tactics to sell second-hand crap to the unwary.
 
2012-04-20 02:24:38 PM  
Next question on the exam.

What is in my pocket.

a.
B.
c.
D.
 
2012-04-20 02:25:05 PM  
I'm confused. None of the available answer choices addresses fact that the animals were all cruel, insensitive bullies to the pineapple who clearly was gay.

I mean, look at its hair style . . .

/not that there's anything wrong with that
 
2012-04-20 02:27:34 PM  
"My reaction is horror that a question that's so obviously confusing should be used on a test that is going to be used to determine our kid's future and the future of our children's schools," said parent Leonie Haimson, of Class Size Matters, who Boobiesed the question on her blog.

She's just pissed because her snowflake isn't college material and she's too stupid to figure out the question.

Why did they eat the pineapple? I mean, duh. Subby is right, it is obvious, and the backlash just goes to show you how incompetent our overpaid teachers really are. Drawn from the bottom third of their colleges, indeed.
 
2012-04-20 02:27:49 PM  

LoveRBS: THEN WHO WAS PINEAPPLE?!


Look, you already know that the Walrus was Paul so the rest is a simple matter of Arithmetic now isn't it?

/don't you feel foolish?
 
2012-04-20 02:28:05 PM  
Pineapples are dumb as f*ck.
 
2012-04-20 02:28:11 PM  
The point of the test is not to win, but to face fear and accept the possibility of death.
 
2012-04-20 02:30:21 PM  

miss jinxed: Ten crows are sitting on a fence, a cat pounces and eats one crow. How many are left?


None. They flew away when the cat pounced

miss jinxed: Two drops of water, plus two drops of water equal how many drop of water?


One. It's just a bigger drop.

miss jinxed: Two cats plus two sardines equals what?


2 happy cats

miss jinxed: Redesign the human genitals so that they might be more equitable (as a writing or art exam question)


Is a photocopy of my wonderfully perfect penis an acceptable answer? I don't really have drawing skillz.
 
2012-04-20 02:31:23 PM  

Your exam question is invalid
lh3.googleusercontent.com

 
2012-04-20 02:32:01 PM  
I don't believe this article is telling me the truth. That story was far too interesting to be part of a standardized test.

It was also poorly written. But interesting. Full of pointless asides, and light on details that might feed into reading comprehension.

And then I read it again and...
The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees.

...

About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off.


This IS a magical forest!
 
2012-04-20 02:32:12 PM  

Crewmannumber6: [i37.photobucket.com image 96x77]


i470.photobucket.com

Your picture lacked a certain fruity something. A double serving to make up for it.
 
2012-04-20 02:33:06 PM  

Russ1642: Fish in a Barrel: Arkanaut: You laugh now, Daily News, but do you have a better way of telling which of our children are actually replicants?

I thought the story was a little Voight-Kampff-esque, too.

This might also be some kind of calibration question. Although I'm not sure what a nonsense question would be used to calibrate. Perhaps identify cheating if too many people chose the same answer?

Could be.


This was my first thought. And that the administrators would not have suspected the same speaks much about their tunnel vision.
 
2012-04-20 02:34:43 PM  

miss jinxed: Here are some questions I'd like to see on state exams:

Ten crows are sitting on a fence, a cat pounces and eats one crow. How many are left?

Two drops of water, plus two drops of water equal how many drop of water?

Two cats plus two sardines equals what?

Redesign the human genitals so that they might be more equitable (as a writing or art exam question)


1. Zero
2. One
3. A fight
4. There's a Bill Plympton cartoon of God's first plans for intercourse. There's some nose to belly botton and foot to ear action. Unfortunately, I cannot find a link.
 
2012-04-20 02:35:09 PM  
"What's a tortise?"

/iamabanana.jpg
 
2012-04-20 02:35:22 PM  
Why did the animals eat the talking fruit?

One to hold down the Llama, and the other six to fill the bathtub with herring.


Which animal was wisest?

A piece of tomfoolery from the void, in which all the lofty questions have become involved.
 
2012-04-20 02:36:18 PM  
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato,
He rapped all day from April to May,
And also guess what, it was me.

Link
 
2012-04-20 02:39:06 PM  

miss jinxed: Here are some questions I'd like to see on state exams:

Ten crows are sitting on a fence, a cat pounces and eats one crow. How many are left?


Vague reference. How many what?

Two drops of water, plus two drops of water equal how many drop of water?

A drop can only be singular. If you had asked how many drops of water?, well that would be a different matter.

Two cats plus two sardines equals what?

One hell of a good stew.

Redesign the human genitals so that they might be more equitable (as a writing or art exam question)
 
2012-04-20 02:39:10 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.com

~140 comments and no LOL WUT pear? Fark. Is. Slipping.

/hot
 
2012-04-20 02:39:25 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Here we go again
[i11.photobucket.com image 205x143]


Dear Algebra,

Stop asking us to find your X.
She's not coming back.
 
2012-04-20 02:39:35 PM  
I'm relatively certain that this was written by spentmiles
 
2012-04-20 02:39:55 PM  
images.cheezburger.com
 
2012-04-20 02:41:55 PM  
1) Ate it 'cause it couldn't defend itself/stop them

2) Smartest animal figured out #1 first


Duh...
a. they were annoyed
b. moose

/not very hard.
//ask me to show my work if you don't get it.
 
2012-04-20 02:42:09 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x225]

Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)


Un ananas quis parle? Et maintenant, chantons-nous avec les squelettes!

I loved Telefrancais waaaay too much in Middle School. I even got my teacher to let me borrow her VHS tapes so I could watch the episodes we didn't have time for in class.
 
2012-04-20 02:43:14 PM  

KyDave: 1) Ate it 'cause it couldn't defend itself/stop them

2) Smartest animal figured out #1 first


Duh...
a. they were annoyed
b. moose

/not very hard.
//ask me to show my work if you don't get it.


First you must realize the truth.

There is no moose.

/no, really.
 
2012-04-20 02:43:30 PM  
(1) Annoyed
(2) Hare

I'm surprised how few people realized the answers to this. Personally, I found the scenario amusing to read, especially when compared to the standard reading comprehension exam dreck.
 
2012-04-20 02:43:37 PM  

Lunaville: angrycrank: Lunaville: angrycrank: But teachers who object to these standardised tests as a way to evaluate their performance are just a bunch of lazy overpaid union thugs, amirite? And those snowflakes should stop whining, get off my lawn, and gbtw.

/the hare was the wisest. He avoided all the crap philosophising and just ran the damn race.
/they ate the pineapple because they wanted to, duh.

How dare you claim they merely wanted to eat the pineapple! The animals were annoyed and they had a right to be annoyed. That smug, arrogant pineapple was sitting there, mocking the animals. The pineapple knew he didn't have feet! But who had the last laugh when that trickster found himself on the dinner menu?

Are you denigrating those animals by implying they couldn't possibly have controlled their emotions? No, they may have been annoyed, but they CHOSE to act on that annoyance by eating the pineapple, just as gays chose to be gay and dinosaurs chose to give rides to Jesus.

That pineapple was manipulative. Are you implying the animals didn't have a right to defend themselves against, and dine upon the tasty goodness, of a sociopath-huckster like the pineapple?


Since the pineapple appears to be sentient, they should have regarded it with loving compassion. In order to achieve enlightenment, we must wish to liberate all sentient beings, no matter how repugnant, from the sufferings of cyclic existence. This applies even to rats, Republicans, and, yes, pineapples.
 
2012-04-20 02:46:24 PM  

MoronLessOff: It is my belief that the animals ate the talking pineapple because they feel they had been swindled. The pineapple, presumably knowing he wouldn't win any race, challenged one of the fastest runners. The other animals sense the race is fixed and bet on the pineapple to reap the rewards. When the pineapple predictably losses the race, the animals would be understandably upset and they take the fruit as their reward or revenge.

The wisest animal would have to be the rabbit, since there is no explicit mention of an owl. I believe the rabbit was in on the fix. Knowing he could best a fruit in a race, but the other animals would wager against him, he stands to lose nothing and make a beneficial gain. However, it could be argued that this isn't exactly a wise move. Seeing as the other animals ate a talking and presumably intelligent/sentient being, who's to say they wouldn't take additional revenge on the rabbit if they ever discovered the scheme. He may not be very wise, but I would call him smart. Especially if the rabbit took his winnings to another forest, found another talking fruit, and set his con into motion again...barring some sort of animal police force capable of tracking fugitive rabbits. In that case, he's pretty dumb too.


Given the fact that it was a hare that ran the race, not a rabbit, you may have failed. Besides, everyone knows rabbits can't talk.
 
2012-04-20 02:47:18 PM  

TELEFRANCAIS!

 
2012-04-20 02:47:20 PM  

KyDave: 1) Ate it 'cause it couldn't defend itself/stop them

2) Smartest animal figured out #1 first


Duh...
a. they were annoyed
b. moose

/not very hard.
//ask me to show my work if you don't get it.


The moose was too dumb to realize "something up its sleeve" is an idiomatic expression. Nothing wise about that.
 
2012-04-20 02:48:57 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: [upload.wikimedia.org image 300x225]

Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)


Nous nous appelons les squelettes!

/fark the peyote trip
//I just had an acid flashback to first grade
///Their theme song was catchy
////Téléfrancais! Téléfrancais! Téléfrancais!
 
2012-04-20 02:48:57 PM  

Wellon Dowd: miss jinxed: Here are some questions I'd like to see on state exams:

Ten crows are sitting on a fence, a cat pounces and eats one crow. How many are left?

Vague reference. How many what?

Two drops of water, plus two drops of water equal how many drop of water?

A drop can only be singular. If you had asked how many drops of water?, well that would be a different matter.

Two cats plus two sardines equals what?

One hell of a good stew.

Redesign the human genitals so that they might be more equitable (as a writing or art exam question)


Thank you for reminding me to proofread things.
 
2012-04-20 02:48:58 PM  
 
2012-04-20 02:49:28 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


Which makes so much sense for a multiple choice answer.
 
2012-04-20 02:49:42 PM  
koder
There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


That's some good peyote, huh?
 
2012-04-20 02:49:52 PM  
Clearly the hare is the smartest, for being able to convince all the other animals of the forest that a pineapple talked to him and challenged him to a race, yet while being immobile, managed to find its way to this enchanted forest unnoticed.

Naturally, they ate the pineapple out of frustration and embarrassment.
 
2012-04-20 02:50:41 PM  

toraque: This question sounds like it should have been on the G.O.A.T.

Billy, 'You thought the crow was the wisest? Well, that means you're going to be a plumber.'


First thing I thought!

A. The Overseer
 
2012-04-20 02:51:21 PM  

Boston Kiwi: MoronLessOff: It is my belief that the animals ate the talking pineapple because they feel they had been swindled. The pineapple, presumably knowing he wouldn't win any race, challenged one of the fastest runners. The other animals sense the race is fixed and bet on the pineapple to reap the rewards. When the pineapple predictably losses the race, the animals would be understandably upset and they take the fruit as their reward or revenge.

The wisest animal would have to be the rabbit, since there is no explicit mention of an owl. I believe the rabbit was in on the fix. Knowing he could best a fruit in a race, but the other animals would wager against him, he stands to lose nothing and make a beneficial gain. However, it could be argued that this isn't exactly a wise move. Seeing as the other animals ate a talking and presumably intelligent/sentient being, who's to say they wouldn't take additional revenge on the rabbit if they ever discovered the scheme. He may not be very wise, but I would call him smart. Especially if the rabbit took his winnings to another forest, found another talking fruit, and set his con into motion again...barring some sort of animal police force capable of tracking fugitive rabbits. In that case, he's pretty dumb too.

Given the fact that it was a hare that ran the race, not a rabbit, you may have failed. Besides, everyone knows rabbits can't talk.


Picky picky. Ok, substitute every instance of "rabbit" with "hare".

Now, if the pineapple can talk and the animals can place a wager, the hare can accept a race challenge, we have to assume the hare can talk. At the very least they have an advanced form of communication. This leads me to believe the hare is either a con-man, or part of the woodland mafia.
 
2012-04-20 02:52:08 PM  
What happened to the money from the wagers?

/payback is a beotch
 
2012-04-20 02:52:41 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.


For 1, yeah a-c are causes/results of D.
For 2 I'm gonna say it was the hare. He got a free ninja out of the whole thing.
 
2012-04-20 02:52:51 PM  
FTFA:They also noted that under new state rules, the questions and answers won't be released.

In other words: We're so stupid we're embarrassed to show you.
 
2012-04-20 02:53:48 PM  
On a somewhat related note, I wonder if the Pearson Cisco exams are still as stupid and actively punitive as they used to be. "Well, obviously you know everything about IP networking that you should know if you're working on a network existing sometime in the last century. Now tell us the following: There are 47 nodes using 6 different VPN clients across the MAN but they all drank the CIDR and you're stuck using bananas and IS-IS. How many rabbits can you fit in NVRAM if you can remember the hex code for the registers in order to psychically interface with IOS 2.8, as written by Eleanor of Aquitaine, on a Thursday?

A) Notwithstanding, Bleu Cheese

B) BGP Reflection

C) Reflecting BGP

D)

E) Layer 3/5 of the OSI model. The number to the left will be either 3 or 5 on the screen, and whichever you select will be wrong, and will revert to the proper number after selection. Also, taking a picture of that with your cell phone that you forgot to hand in and they forgot to confiscate means you fail. GTFO while I laugh villainously."
 
2012-04-20 02:54:28 PM  

Lunaville: SphericalTime: Actually, if the question was to determine writing skills rather than reading comprehension, I can see where putting an unclear situation like this in print might lead to more complicated answers from students. They want the kids to defend their position even though there isn't a clear-cut answer.

However, I suspect that this question was really supposed to be about reading comprehension and Ken Jennings is correct and someone wrote it during a Peyote trip.

I agree the questions cited may have been acceptable had they been essay questions, but they were multiple choice questions. That's not acceptable.


Oh, that's just nuts, yeah.
 
BHK
2012-04-20 02:55:51 PM  
Mr. Owl, how many hares does it take to lick a pineapple?

blog.bridgelinedigital.com

Three!
 
2012-04-20 02:57:52 PM  
That said, it would be hilarious if a student was scored based on their bafflement and the drawings/words they scrawled next to it.
 
2012-04-20 02:58:53 PM  

The monkey.

 
2012-04-20 03:04:29 PM  
Tu es un ananana? Je suis une banane! Hahahaha!!

Also, the correct answer was to leave the question blank, get up, and slap the teacher. None of the students answered correctly.
 
2012-04-20 03:09:22 PM  
Process of elimination:


1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed - Possible
b. they were amused - Clearly not
c. they were hungry - Possible
d. they wanted to - This covers all possibilities. If they ate him because they were annoyed, they did it intentionally because they wanted to. If they ate him because they were hungary, they did so because they wanted to. Because A = D, C = D, A = C. Because A and C are equivalent, you should chose D because it is less restrictive and also is equivalent with A and C.

The answer here is D.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Eliminate D - there was no owl.
Eliminate Moose - He correctly noted that the pineapple does not have sleeves, but went along with the crow's gambit anyways.
Eliminate Hare - The hare offers no indication of wisdom. He merely agrees to a non-sensical race he believes he cannot lose. The pineapple also knows he cannot win. Therefore the pineapple must have an ulterior motive. That is, whatever the gain is for victory does not benefit him, so he intended to start a race he knew he would lose. The Pineapple either wanted the hare to have a lifetime supply of toothpaste and a ninja, or he believed that his ownership of such items would either harm him or have no net gain.

Chose Crow: Wisdom is not simply getting an answer correct. Wisdom is experiential knowledge. Intelligence is based on accumulated facts and logic and can be measured by how easily a person can attain correct knowledge of these things.

The crow evaluated a situation that made no sense, suspecting that people only do what is beneficial to them. He then believed this must mean the pineapple was being disingenuous. His choice, given all the information, was based experientially on the universe he understood, which indicates wisdom, even if he was incorrect.

The answer to 2 is C.
 
2012-04-20 03:13:19 PM  
Actually, it was made for people like me who jump to the questions first...
Why do animals eat something? C, they where hungry.
Which animal is the wisest? D, the Owl is the wisest animal.

Tada!
 
2012-04-20 03:15:20 PM  


fysheroes.files.wordpress.com

When the Pineapple loses, Magua will eat his heart. Before he dies, Magua will put his children under the knife, so the Pineapple will know his seed is wiped out forever.

 
2012-04-20 03:17:35 PM  
How would William S. Burroughs answer the question?
 
2012-04-20 03:20:35 PM  

dyli: (1) Annoyed
(2) Hare

I'm surprised how few people realized the answers to this. Personally, I found the scenario amusing to read, especially when compared to the standard reading comprehension exam dreck.


Clearly the hare was not the wisest. He just won a bet with the promise of some toothpaste, and a freaking ninja. Dumb farking hare eats the pineapple before he gets his payoff.

I agree with the poster who claimed it must be the owl for not hanging with this bunch of idiots.
 
2012-04-20 03:21:10 PM  
The real question is which of the animals in the forest is the joker who used ventriloquism to make the pineapple talk? This on top of the stunt last year they pulled on the poor tortoise. Is there a cheetah named Jeff Dunham hanging around?
 
2012-04-20 03:26:16 PM  

FarkingStan: Process of elimination:


1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed - Possible
b. they were amused - Clearly not
c. they were hungry - Possible
d. they wanted to - This covers all possibilities. If they ate him because they were annoyed, they did it intentionally because they wanted to. If they ate him because they were hungary, they did so because they wanted to. Because A = D, C = D, A = C. Because A and C are equivalent, you should chose D because it is less restrictive and also is equivalent with A and C.

The answer here is D.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Eliminate D - there was no owl.
Eliminate Moose - He correctly noted that the pineapple does not have sleeves, but went along with the crow's gambit anyways.
Eliminate Hare - The hare offers no indication of wisdom. He merely agrees to a non-sensical race he believes he cannot lose. The pineapple also knows he cannot win. Therefore the pineapple must have an ulterior motive. That is, whatever the gain is for victory does not benefit him, so he intended to start a race he knew he would lose. The Pineapple either wanted the hare to have a lifetime supply of toothpaste and a ninja, or he believed that his ownership of such items would either harm him or have no net gain.

Chose Crow: Wisdom is not simply getting an answer correct. Wisdom is experiential knowledge. Intelligence is based on accumulated facts and logic and can be measured by how easily a person can attain correct knowledge of these things.

The crow evaluated a situation that made no sense, suspecting that people only do what is beneficial to them. He then believed this must mean the pineapple was being disingenuous. His choice, given all the information, was based experientially on the universe he understood, which indicates wisdom, even if he was incorrect.

The answer to 2 is C.


Unfortunately for you, I spent several years in Australia building up an immunity to Iocaine powder.
 
2012-04-20 03:27:56 PM  

Bubba_the_Hutt: Notice the "talking" pineapple didn't say a word after its conversation with Rabbit?

Rabbit = wisest


Oh for Pete's sake, you're right. In retrospect, the story practically goes out of its way to show the pineapple as inanimate with no interaction other than what the rabbit presumably shared with our narrator, who may not be omniscient. The story is random - but not illogical - and the real test is being able to question the source. Well-played.

Also, the article says "here are two of the questions" implying there may have been additional, less-outrageous questions about the same story.
 
2012-04-20 03:28:01 PM  
www.robertjschwalb.com
 
2012-04-20 03:28:04 PM  
If your grandmother told you she had committed a crime, would you turn her in?

Cool questions.
 
2012-04-20 03:29:45 PM  

Virtue: Next question on the exam.

What is in my pocket.


Not fair! It isn't fair, my precious, is it, to ask us what it's got in its nassty little pocketses?
 
2012-04-20 03:29:52 PM  
onlinephys.com
 
2012-04-20 03:30:47 PM  
Who was the wisest? The moose. The moose is a strength-domain cleric and needs a high wisdom score in order to smite evil enemies and bite my sister.
 
2012-04-20 03:31:09 PM  
StaleCoffee

Unfortunately for you, I spent several years in Australia building up an immunity to Iocaine powder.

--------
The real lesson here is you never challenge a hare when a pineapple is on the line.
 
2012-04-20 03:31:10 PM  

Dimensio: In the story, a take-off on Aesop's fable about the tortoise and the hare, a talking pineapple challenges a hare to a race. The other animals wager on the immobile pineapple winning - and ponder whether it's tricking them.

When the pineapple fails to move and the rabbit wins, the animals dine on the pineapple.

I understand neither the purpose nor the value of the presented story, but I am able to state without reservation that it features a better ending than does Mass Effect 3.


-golfclap.jpg-
 
2012-04-20 03:31:43 PM  

Fano: When you stand up, where does your lap go?
a) Lapland
b) the cellar
c) mooooooooooooooooooooooo


D) Penis

The right answer is always Penis.
 
2012-04-20 03:31:49 PM  
An employee making up tests for Pearson creates a bizarre story about magical animals and talking fruit, then inserts it into a standardized test. The questions about the story confuses everyone. The employee is:

A) Off their meds.
B) Smoked out
C) Pissed at their supervisor and decides to be an a**hole!!!
 
2012-04-20 03:32:44 PM  
1 - a. they were annoyed
2 - b. moose
 
2012-04-20 03:35:26 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: If your grandmother told you she had committed a crime, would you turn her in?

Cool questions.


Nope. Snitches get stitches. unless this is an interview, in which case, you know, that largely depends on the gravity of the crime. It's important to be ethical in our dealings with one another, with our customers and our supply chain, and part of that requires that we police ourselves. This doesn't necessarily imply that it's appropriate to throw a comrade under the bus. After all, the important thing is that we all learn from our mistakes and grow as people because when we grow as people, we grow as an organization, and the growth and success of the enterprise is always our ultimate goal as employees. We're part of something here, and we need to own our mistakes. And we need to do our level best to prevent them from happening in the future.

How long do you want me to go on? I can shiat you around for at least another 5 paragraphs.
 
HBK
2012-04-20 03:36:47 PM  

Rent Party: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

The obvious answer is d. They wanted to. All the other answers presume some motivation on the animals part that can not be known. The only confirmed fact we have in evidence is that they did, in fact, eat the pineapple, and therefore must have wanted to.

All this tells us is that kids are a bunch of dumbasses, and Americans in general are a bunch of unaccountable pansies.


I'm going with C, they were hungry. The prompt provides that the animals could speak English, not that the animals were given human-like feelings, desires, or emotions. Animals eat because of instinct and hunger, not because they "want to."
 
2012-04-20 03:38:42 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: If your grandmother told you she had committed a crime, would you turn her in?

Cool questions.



I would shoot her in the head.

/Goddam zombies.
 
2012-04-20 03:40:41 PM  

koder: On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.


I would agree with you if it were a short response/essay format.

In multiple choice (assuming there was one answer), I can assure you this test is ridiculous and a test that will yield no valid assessment of the student's reading comprehension skill.
 
2012-04-20 03:40:43 PM  
"When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a talking pineapple."
 
2012-04-20 03:41:15 PM  
I'd like to see the actual question.
 
2012-04-20 03:42:46 PM  

FlacidDonkey: An employee making up tests for Pearson creates a bizarre story about magical animals and talking fruit, then inserts it into a standardized test. The questions about the story confuses everyone. The employee is:

A) Off their meds.
B) Smoked out
C) Pissed at their supervisor and decides to be an a**hole!!!


WHile inconsistent with the facts of the story, this little interpretation reminded me of the days I spent reviewing software use-cases for medical crap.

Use case: "Baby is created in system with no mother identified."
Causes: 1) Mother dies during labor
2) Mother abandons baby at hospital
3) User omits entrance of mother in database throughout process.
4) User deletes mother when creating record associations for infant

Sub-causes: 1) Baby was born too late. Exactly 36 hours too late for the well being of the mother.
2) Streets be cold, yo.
3) Laziness
4) Peyote

Mitigations: 1) Create record for mother and move status to deceased. Time of death should coincide with time of birth. Automatic records update.
2) Create record for Jane Doe as mother. If unnamed, infant to be identified as J. Doe.
3) Increased accessibility of coffee in proximity of delivery ward.
4) Decreased accessibility of peyote in proximity of delivery ward.
 
2012-04-20 03:43:13 PM  
 
2012-04-20 03:44:00 PM  
The animals ate the pineapple because it is food.

The wisest animal was the coyote. He waited until all the other animals were too full from eating the pineapple and couldn't run away very fast, then he ate them.
 
2012-04-20 03:44:06 PM  
Why did the animals eat the talking pineapple?

Because the pineapple couldn't talk them out of it. That should have been an option.
 
2012-04-20 03:45:11 PM  

silverjets: The animals ate the pineapple because it is food.

The wisest animal was the coyote. He waited until all the other animals were too full from eating the pineapple and couldn't run away very fast, then he ate them.


This also explains the eagerness of the coyote to participate, despite having no evidence that the endeavor would succeed.
 
2012-04-20 03:45:40 PM  
Hmmmm... the comments in the article are even more insightful. Students who actually took the real test are saying the article in the story has key facts wrong, and that the Owl seemed to be the correct answer. The reporter is rebuilding the story from other people's recollection, since the testing company won't release it.

If shown the correct story, Mr. Jennings might have said, "Obviously, the owl. What, are you an idiot?" and this would have never been published.
 
2012-04-20 03:46:16 PM  

FarkingStan: StaleCoffee

Unfortunately for you, I spent several years in Australia building up an immunity to Iocaine powder.

--------
The real lesson here is you never challenge a hare when a pineapple is on the line.


Or start a land war in a lovely enchanted forest that flourishes with magical, talking animals.
 
2012-04-20 03:46:33 PM  
Unbelievable. Why just yesterday I was in the kitchen having a conversation with my celery and a tangerine from next door and they thought the idea of a talking pineapple was simply ridiculous.
 
2012-04-20 03:47:05 PM  
They ate it because it was food, and the wisest animal was whichever one didn't participate in the entire idiot fest. Rabbit is the dumbest for racing a fruit.

/Doesn't require a genius, but this is a rather messed up question to be asking 8th graders.
 
2012-04-20 03:47:55 PM  

BeesNuts: StoPPeRmobile: If your grandmother told you she had committed a crime, would you turn her in?

Cool questions.

Nope. Snitches get stitches. unless this is an interview, in which case, you know, that largely depends on the gravity of the crime. It's important to be ethical in our dealings with one another, with our customers and our supply chain, and part of that requires that we police ourselves. This doesn't necessarily imply that it's appropriate to throw a comrade under the bus. After all, the important thing is that we all learn from our mistakes and grow as people because when we grow as people, we grow as an organization, and the growth and success of the enterprise is always our ultimate goal as employees. We're part of something here, and we need to own our mistakes. And we need to do our level best to prevent them from happening in the future.

How long do you want me to go on? I can shiat you around for at least another 5 paragraphs.


She is dead.
 
2012-04-20 03:49:02 PM  
You've made a powerful enemy, talking animals!

www.thetick.ws
 
2012-04-20 03:51:47 PM  

FlacidDonkey: An employee making up tests for Pearson creates a bizarre story about magical animals and talking fruit, then inserts it into a standardized test. The questions about the story confuses everyone. The employee is:

A) Off their meds.
B) Smoked out
C) Pissed at their supervisor and decides to be an a**hole!!!


You clearly aren't familiar with how Pearson does business. They buy inferior crap second hand from other companies, repackage it, and use their huge marketing arm to sell it at inflated prices. This is their business model - and they've done quite well with it (God Bless America).
 
2012-04-20 03:52:23 PM  
At first I was like
www.up-video.com

but then
teamaltman.com

They cut one of us up with A KNIFE!!!

/no good pic of the pineapple's death
 
2012-04-20 03:54:36 PM  
Why is it that online "jounalists" put up huge farking images of everyday items if they are even remotely connected to the story -- as if no one already knows what they look like -- yet they consistently fail to put up images for articles discussing the visual aspects of actual new products/phenomena/displays/events/etc.?

WE ALL KNOW WHAT A PINEAPPLE LOOKS LIKE!
 
2012-04-20 03:54:51 PM  
images.wikia.com

I ate the fuzzy little man peach. Why? Love games!
 
2012-04-20 03:55:21 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

In order to understand why they ate the pineapple, Neo, you must BECOME the pineapple.
 
2012-04-20 03:56:08 PM  
Lemme write a better question (on the scantron)

How fark high were you when you wrote this shiat?
 
2012-04-20 03:56:31 PM  
"Is this a pineapple I see before me?" - Macbeth
 
2012-04-20 03:57:20 PM  

SonOfSpam: "What's a tortise?"

/iamabanana.jpg


On Tuesday night I (brought my coat and) rewatched that (plus a bunch of other Don Hertzfeld stuff) with a couple of friends. Laughed until we cried.

/what's a battle?
 
2012-04-20 03:57:50 PM  

socodog: I'd like to see the actual question.


Vic Sage or Renee Montoya?
 
2012-04-20 03:58:02 PM  
Was the essay question "You're in a desert. You look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't, not without your help. You're not helping it; why is that?"
 
2012-04-20 03:59:29 PM  

Oznog: At first I was like
[www.up-video.com image 480x360]

but then
[teamaltman.com image 240x176]

They cut one of us up with A KNIFE!!!

/no good pic of the pineapple's death


Dude, spoiler alert. Goddamn.
 
2012-04-20 04:01:40 PM  
Quote FTFA:

AS an eighth grader I would like to say that this is not the version of the story that was on the test and the Animals ate the pineapple because they were annoyed that they had cheered for a loser. Also there was an owl in that version who said "pineapples don't have sleeves" which made him the wisest.

 
2012-04-20 04:02:11 PM  

Befuddled: Was the essay question "You're in a desert. You look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't, not without your help. You're not helping it; why is that?"


You wanna know about my pineapple? I'll tell you about my pineapple *BLAM!*
 
2012-04-20 04:04:03 PM  

Befuddled: Was the essay question "You're in a desert. You look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't, not without your help. You're not helping it; why is that?"


Because Om needs to learn some farking humility.
 
2012-04-20 04:04:35 PM  

LaraAmber: Am I the only person who honed in on this sentence?

All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees.

No shiat. Pineapples are also not ANIMALS. Might as well say "all the animals in the forest, but not the rocks". Whoever wrote that was definitely high.

So the animals and the pineapples speak English, "just like you and me". But not Miguel over there, that asshole speaks "ghetto".


that was the point, for certain things to be addressed in the answer. Pineapple not being an animal was key. it was a simple light hearted exercise in comprehension.
 
2012-04-20 04:04:54 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.


1: C
Ascribing "wants" to animals is anthropomorphizing. They ate because they were hungry.
2: C
The crow was wrong, but logical.

or, maybe something else
 
2012-04-20 04:05:26 PM  

fisker: Quote FTFA:

AS an eighth grader I would like to say that this is not the version of the story that was on the test and the Animals ate the pineapple because they were annoyed that they had cheered for a loser. Also there was an owl in that version who said "pineapples don't have sleeves" which made him the wisest.


As an adult I would like to say that I already suspected the transcription of this story to be inaccurate, so thanks for clarifying that... but I would *also* like to say that the only way to know that those two particular answers are the "correct" answers, the story itself would have had to literally declare them so.

Something like a sentence in the story saying "This annoyed the animals." and "The wise owl said..."

In which case it's still a farking awful question because you're not testing reading comprehension, your testing regurgitation and keywording.
 
2012-04-20 04:06:02 PM  

Havokmon: I thought the owl was the wisest, because doing a search on 'owl' finds no references to the owl other than it being an answer. Therefore the owl was wise enough to avoid the whole sham and not get stuck with a vegetarian meal.


Bravo
 
2012-04-20 04:07:13 PM  
this reads like one of those short stories retard kids who think being random automatically makes you funny vomited. HEY GUYS PINEAPPLES AND shiat HOLY shiat I'M FUNNY NO WAIT MONKEY NIPPLES.
I have just received a job offer from Pearson.
 
2012-04-20 04:07:23 PM  

BeesNuts: fisker: Quote FTFA:

AS an eighth grader I would like to say that this is not the version of the story that was on the test and the Animals ate the pineapple because they were annoyed that they had cheered for a loser. Also there was an owl in that version who said "pineapples don't have sleeves" which made him the wisest.

As an adult I would like to say that I already suspected the transcription of this story to be inaccurate, so thanks for clarifying that... but I would *also* like to say that the only way to know that those two particular answers are the "correct" answers, the story itself would have had to literally declare them so.

Something like a sentence in the story saying "This annoyed the animals." and "The wise owl said..."

In which case it's still a farking awful question because you're not testing reading comprehension, your testing regurgitation and keywording.


I'd be interested to know the percentage of correctly answered questions, before and after this question.
 
2012-04-20 04:07:36 PM  

1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were amused
b. they were hungry
c. they wanted to
d. they postmoderngentleman.com
 
2012-04-20 04:07:56 PM  

StaleCoffee: Befuddled: Was the essay question "You're in a desert. You look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't, not without your help. You're not helping it; why is that?"

Because Om needs to learn some farking humility.


I would have gone with, "Them's good eatin'."
 
2012-04-20 04:09:36 PM  

My Third Testicle: AverageAmericanGuy: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.

1: C
Ascribing "wants" to animals is anthropomorphizing. They ate because they were hungry.
2: C
The crow was wrong, but logical.

or, maybe something else


In what universe is anthromorphology NOT a legitimate literary device that has to be taken into account when reading?

If a story tells me that the cabinet secretly desired to have brass handles, rather than aluminum, it's no less "real" in the context of that story than if it had told me that the cabinet's owner was a woman. It's a narrative, and you have to accept the facts of the story. Apparently the correct answer is annoyance, which can only be deduced from facts not present in the version provided by the article. I think this entire thing might be a media fabrication.

I guess we're all a little burnt out on Trayvon.
 
2012-04-20 04:11:52 PM  

Virtue: Next question on the exam.

What is in my pocket.

a.
B.
c.
D.


*Gollum eyes you warily*
 
2012-04-20 04:12:01 PM  
"The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way."

Dudes. Pineapple just won by default. You start from BEHIND the line, not in front of it.
 
2012-04-20 04:12:06 PM  

BeesNuts: fisker: Quote FTFA:

AS an eighth grader I would like to say that this is not the version of the story that was on the test and the Animals ate the pineapple because they were annoyed that they had cheered for a loser. Also there was an owl in that version who said "pineapples don't have sleeves" which made him the wisest.

As an adult I would like to say that I already suspected the transcription of this story to be inaccurate, so thanks for clarifying that... but I would *also* like to say that the only way to know that those two particular answers are the "correct" answers, the story itself would have had to literally declare them so.

Something like a sentence in the story saying "This annoyed the animals." and "The wise owl said..."

In which case it's still a farking awful question because you're not testing reading comprehension, your testing regurgitation and keywording.


Completely agree.
 
2012-04-20 04:12:25 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: BeesNuts: fisker: Quote FTFA:

AS an eighth grader I would like to say that this is not the version of the story that was on the test and the Animals ate the pineapple because they were annoyed that they had cheered for a loser. Also there was an owl in that version who said "pineapples don't have sleeves" which made him the wisest.

As an adult I would like to say that I already suspected the transcription of this story to be inaccurate, so thanks for clarifying that... but I would *also* like to say that the only way to know that those two particular answers are the "correct" answers, the story itself would have had to literally declare them so.

Something like a sentence in the story saying "This annoyed the animals." and "The wise owl said..."

In which case it's still a farking awful question because you're not testing reading comprehension, your testing regurgitation and keywording.

I'd be interested to know the percentage of correctly answered questions, before and after this question.


Same. I don't think that granularity of data are available, though. And certainly now that this story has taken over the internet, you wouldn't be able to wade through the bullshiat to find it in any reasonable amount of time.
 
2012-04-20 04:13:21 PM  
www.strugglemuffins.com

Je suis un ananas!
 
2012-04-20 04:13:46 PM  
Can I mumble dogface to the banana patch?
 
2012-04-20 04:14:26 PM  
They said that they wanted the test to be less obvious and harder to do well on, and that's just what the company gave them. If you doubt it, just read the pineapple fable question.

The smartest animal was the rabbit. It saw that the pineapple was talking BS but ran the race any way, knowing that it couldn't lose.

The moose was an idiot for taking the metaphor "up his sleeve" literally.
The crow outsmarted himself by thinking the pineapple had a clever trick, which the crow would have had if it had been him, but which the stupid pineapple obviously would not have because he's a fricking pineapple with no legs.
The owl wasn't even mentioned. It's just a trap for lazy students who know the expression "wise old owl" or "wise as an owl". They could have said "snake" in some other cultures where the snake is deemed the wisest or cleverest of animals (as it is in the second chapter of Genesis, where it deceives Adam and Eve).

As for the question of why the animals ate the pineapple, they were obviously annoyed at themselves for being so stupid so they turned on the one person who made them look foolish. That's the way it always is in fables and real life--you scapegoat somebody for your own faults. It's obvious that "because they wanted to" is a stupid answer. People do everything and nothing because they want to. It's obvious that because they were hungry is another clever trap for people who didn't bother to read the stupid fable.

I'm sure I would have done very well on this test.

The real questions are: what are the answer grid answers to these two multiple choice questions? And do they mark this question or is it just a trick to prevent people from stealing the test. Publishers do that sort of thing, you know. An old trick is to put some fake location on a map to make sure nobody copies it.

For example, there is no such place as "New York City". It is just a made up name. Why the Hell would anybody who knew the City of York want to build another one?

To quote Homer Simpson: "I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! "

Another question I just thought of is, why didn't the article tell us that it was multiple choice in the first place? Then we wouldn't have had to read the stupid fable and questions because we'd have known it doesn't make any difference any way. You have a one in four chance of getting any multiple choice question right, and better if you can eliminate one or more answers by reasoning rather than reading comprehension.

The whole point seems to be that the questions don't matter any more than the answers if you know how to take these damn tests.
 
2012-04-20 04:14:59 PM  

Fish in a Barrel: StaleCoffee: Befuddled: Was the essay question "You're in a desert. You look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't, not without your help. You're not helping it; why is that?"

Because Om needs to learn some farking humility.

I would have gone with, "Them's good eatin'."


I thought that might be too obscure, but fark always proves otherwise.
 
2012-04-20 04:15:09 PM  
If I found this question on a test that I'd been studying for, for countless hours, because it could mean making it into a good school or not, I would have either strolled up to the proctor and started punching him/her in the face until I was pulled off him/her, or I would have written a beautifully prosaic and well-thought-out treatise on how such a stupid question should have never been included in such a test.

And with how I was when I was 16 years old, it would have been the former, 7 times out of 10.
 
2012-04-20 04:18:58 PM  

mercator_psi: If I found this question on a test that I'd been studying for, for countless hours, because it could mean making it into a good school or not, I would have either strolled up to the proctor and started punching him/her in the face until I was pulled off him/her, or I would have written a beautifully prosaic and well-thought-out treatise on how such a stupid question should have never been included in such a test.

And with how I was when I was 16 years old, it would have been the former, 7 times out of 10.


Fortunately... this test is completely meaningless to the students that take them.
 
2012-04-20 04:23:48 PM  

Fish in a Barrel: I thought the story was a little Voight-Kampff-esque, too.


media.avclub.com

Holden: You're in a magical forest, sitting near a tree, when all of a sudden you look over...
Leon: What one?
Holden: What?
Leon: What forest?
Holden: It doesn't make any difference what forest, it's completely hypothetical.
Leon: But, how come I'd be there?
Holden: Maybe you're fed up. Maybe you want to be by yourself. Who knows? You look over and see a hare, Leon. It's talking to you...
Leon: Hare? What's that?
Holden: You know what a rabbit is?
Leon: Of course!
Holden: Same thing.
Leon: I've never seen a rabbit... But I understand what you mean.
Holden: You look at the hare, and you challenge it to a race, Leon.
Leon: Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden? Or do they write 'em down for you?
Holden: The hare sprints off the starting line, clearly wanting to win the race. But it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Leon: What do you mean, I'm not helping?
Holden: I mean: you're not helping! You're just sitting there, not racing! Why is that, Leon?
 
2012-04-20 04:27:44 PM  
This story triggers the retirement of not one, but two memes.
1) This question is maximum trolling and as such, precludes anything else from earning that title.
2) LOL Wut? is the only possible response to this question and as it is a perfect response, the response can not be used for anything else, since its soulmate has been found.
 
2012-04-20 04:29:08 PM  

The Third Man: Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?

It is nevar placed back to front.


In addition to this odd answer, Lewis Carroll came up with another answer to his own unanswered riddle which makes a fair amount of sense, although it's not a great joke:

Because a few drops of ink spilled on them isn't noticeable, the reason being the raven is totally black, while the writing desk (or its blotter) is so splattered with ink that a few more makes no visible difference.
 
2012-04-20 04:31:15 PM  
Holden: Maybe you're fed up. Maybe you want to be by yourself. Who knows? You look over and see a pineapple, Leon. It's talking to you...
Leon: Pineapple? What's that?
Holden: You know who Edward James Olmos is?
Leon: Of course!
Holden: Same thing.


FTFY
 
2012-04-20 04:35:19 PM  
Teacher: "Make sure you read all the instructions"
Instructions: "Don't answer the pineapple question"
 
2012-04-20 04:37:30 PM  
That's right Imaginary Pineapple! You too sweet to spell!
i227.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-20 04:40:53 PM  
It seems pretty straightforward to me. The animals in the story are confronted by a nonsensical situation with an obvious answer: the rabbit will win a race against an immobile pineapple. However, the animals wrongly conclude that because the situation is so extraordinary, the answer must be equally extraordinary.

The objective of the test question is to determine whether or not the students are smart enough to recognize the lesson in the fable and not overthink the question. The answers are "d. they wanted to" and "a. the hare". It's no surprise that a bunch of dumbass adults act just like the animals, get tricked into overthinking the scenario, and fail to recognize the obvious answers.
 
2012-04-20 04:48:59 PM  

thamike: Holden: Maybe you're fed up. Maybe you want to be by yourself. Who knows? You look over and see a pineapple, Leon. It's talking to you...
Leon: Pineapple? What's that?
Holden: You know who Edward James Olmos is?
Leon: Of course!
Holden: Same thing.


FTFY


25.media.tumblr.com

You've made a man's joke, sir!
 
2012-04-20 04:49:26 PM  
You know, when you get SO many presumably-intelligent people who use different methods to arrive at DIFFERENT answers which are all OBVIOUSLY correct to the person who answered that way, it's almost as though the question has many different valid interpretations which yield different results. Such a question HAS no correct answer and it has no business being on an 8th-grade reading test.

Or is this the 8th-grade reading test's version of a FARK Politics tab discussion?
 
2012-04-20 04:51:04 PM  

dustygrimp: This story triggers the retirement of not one, but two memes.
1) This question is maximum trolling and as such, precludes anything else from earning that title.
2) LOL Wut? is the only possible response to this question and as it is a perfect response, the response can not be used for anything else, since its soulmate has been found.


Well, congrats. The Universe has now been replaced by something bizarre and inexplicable.
 
2012-04-20 04:51:15 PM  

algrant33: Such a question HAS no correct answer and it has no business being on an 8th-grade reading test.*


*in multiple-choice format with no room for justification...i.e. the test designer believes there's one clear-cut answer from the information provided.
 
2012-04-20 04:52:13 PM  
 
2012-04-20 04:55:41 PM  

algrant33: You know, when you get SO many presumably-intelligent people who use different methods to arrive at DIFFERENT answers which are all OBVIOUSLY correct to the person who answered that way, it's almost as though the question has many different valid interpretations which yield different results. Such a question HAS no correct answer and it has no business being on an 8th-grade reading test.

Or is this the 8th-grade reading test's version of a FARK Politics tab discussion?


t3.gstatic.com
 
2012-04-20 04:55:57 PM  

fisker: I don't know how the test publishing company changed the story. I gather they decided to call the rabbit a hare, and made the eggplant into a pineapple. Also there appears to be something about sleeves. And they made up questions for the students to answer. I would not have done any of these things. But it has nothing to do with me. I cashed the check they sent me after about 8 months, and took my wife out to lunch at a cheap restaurant. I believe, she ordered eggplant.

/pops


Wow, when the CollegeBoard does this kind of shiat on the SAT and the GRE, they edit the passage for length but NEVER for content, and they always attribute at the end of the passage.

Also, it would seem that eighth-graders are WRITING the questions, too.
 
2012-04-20 04:57:22 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: algrant33: You know, when you get SO many presumably-intelligent people who use different methods to arrive at DIFFERENT answers which are all OBVIOUSLY correct to the person who answered that way, it's almost as though the question has many different valid interpretations which yield different results. Such a question HAS no correct answer and it has no business being on an 8th-grade reading test.

Or is this the 8th-grade reading test's version of a FARK Politics tab discussion?

[t3.gstatic.com image 172x229]


Okay, is that Plato and his cave, or is that the guy who did the blind man and the elephant?
 
2012-04-20 05:00:55 PM  

brantgoose: The Third Man: Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?

It is nevar placed back to front.

In addition to this odd answer, Lewis Carroll came up with another answer to his own unanswered riddle which makes a fair amount of sense, although it's not a great joke:

Because a few drops of ink spilled on them isn't noticeable, the reason being the raven is totally black, while the writing desk (or its blotter) is so splattered with ink that a few more makes no visible difference.



Neither should be opened without cause.

(Better when spoken.)


"Enquiries have been so often addressed to me, as to whether any answer to the Hatter's Riddle can be imagined, that I may as well put on record here what seems to me to be a fairly appropriate answer, viz: 'Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is never put with the wrong end in front!' This, however, is merely an afterthought; the Riddle, as originally invented, had no answer at all." -Lewis Carroll
 
2012-04-20 05:01:08 PM  

fisker: I don't know how the test publishing company changed the story. I gather they decided to call the rabbit a hare, and made the eggplant into a pineapple. Also there appears to be something about sleeves. And they made up questions for the students to answer. I would not have done any of these things. But it has nothing to do with me. I cashed the check they sent me after about 8 months, and took my wife out to lunch at a cheap restaurant. I believe, she ordered eggplant.

/pops


That is awesome.
 
2012-04-20 05:05:04 PM  
"In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me."

LOL, Que?
 
2012-04-20 05:05:44 PM  
Seems simple enough.

1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed


2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare


3. ?
a.
 
2012-04-20 05:14:26 PM  

koder: There isn't a right answer, obviously; they're open-ended questions that leave the test-taker to answer any way they want--as long as it's grammatically/stylistically correct.

On a related note, the reactions to the question demonstrate something far, far scarier: a profound lack of creativity, imagination, and adaptability to novel situations among those aforementioned students, teachers, and principals. That, alone, is far more spiritually deadly to a populace than skill in grammar. If they can't deal with that, then yes, they deserve to fail the test; the age of the mindless-office-worker drone and the assembly-line worker is rapidly coming to an end, and if we don't adapt to an economy of creativity, imagination, and innovation, we're screwed.

As such, I think it's the schools themselves--not the test--that need to adapt.


Yah, except multiple choice, not essay.

My snowflake took this test. Her answer? "Don't do drugs, Test-writing Dudes."

FOUR!
 
2012-04-20 05:17:50 PM  
TFA: "I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime's supply of toothpaste"

Get out of my head, Pearson test-making people!
 
2012-04-20 05:21:45 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: Did someone say talking pineapple?

(obscure?)


If that's from ''L'anananas'', the PBS french-language series, then I'm leaving happy. If not, then ol'Sid&Marty are really scraping barrel.
 
2012-04-20 05:23:12 PM  
Pineapple cat is not amused.
29.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-20 05:27:12 PM  
pull.imgfave.netdna-cdn.com
 
2012-04-20 05:37:18 PM  

My Third Testicle: AverageAmericanGuy: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.

1: C
Ascribing "wants" to animals is anthropomorphizing. They ate because they were hungry.
2: C
The crow was wrong, but logical.

or, maybe something else


LOLwut? Ascribing wants to animals is anthropomorphizing, and therefore incorrect, in a story in which the animals have conversations, set up, and run races?
 
2012-04-20 05:48:46 PM  
And he had a quick answer to the question of who is the wisest: "Pearson for getting paid $32 million for recycling this crap."

airlineworld.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-04-20 05:50:59 PM  

HailRobonia: Who was the wisest? The moose. The moose is a strength-domain cleric and needs a high wisdom score in order to smite evil enemies and bite my sister.


that took FAR too long.
 
2012-04-20 05:57:51 PM  
It is not suppose to have an answer, they just want to see the kids logic in concluding one and the ability to problem solve under pressure. Kinda like being asked in a job interview "How many planes fly out of Hartsfield Jackson airport daily" or "How many tee shots happen daily at a public golf course". You are suppose to logically think out an answer and defend it while being able to show problem solving skills. Granted, it is a little much to ask of 8th graders, but you could judge some creativity without having a "right" answer.
 
2012-04-20 06:06:55 PM  

RobSeace: Fish in a Barrel: I thought the story was a little Voight-Kampff-esque, too.

Holden: I mean: you're not helping! You're just sitting there, not racing! Why is that, Leon?


Uhhh, because..... I'm a pineapple?
 
2012-04-20 06:07:31 PM  
The ate the pineapple because it proved that it was really just a pineapple and nothing else, even though they thought it had some magic power. Turns out it was just a pineapple-it is just food. The talking part is does not matter. The only smart one is the Hare, because he knew it was just a pineapple and could not beat him. He was right.
 
2012-04-20 06:10:50 PM  

StaleCoffee: fisker: I don't know how the test publishing company changed the story. I gather they decided to call the rabbit a hare, and made the eggplant into a pineapple. Also there appears to be something about sleeves. And they made up questions for the students to answer. I would not have done any of these things. But it has nothing to do with me. I cashed the check they sent me after about 8 months, and took my wife out to lunch at a cheap restaurant. I believe, she ordered eggplant.

/pops

That is awesome.


www.tigriffith.com

"You're a cantaloupe."
 
2012-04-20 06:13:03 PM  

wambu: Seems simple enough.

1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed


2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare


3. ?
a.


The wisest was the pineapple because it had spent the last six weeks upping its odds on the internet and then laying down cash bets on the hare to six bookies.
 
2012-04-20 06:15:16 PM  

frtmn7: It is not suppose to have an answer, they just want to see the kids logic in concluding one and the ability to problem solve under pressure. Kinda like being asked in a job interview "How many planes fly out of Hartsfield Jackson airport daily" or "How many tee shots happen daily at a public golf course". You are suppose to logically think out an answer and defend it while being able to show problem solving skills. Granted, it is a little much to ask of 8th graders, but you could judge some creativity without having a "right" answer.


Only, as has been pointed out several times, it is multiple choice. As so:

"Several thousand angry cats take the Straight Road from Hartsfield Jackson airport daily in order to maintain an unrelenting assault on their hated enemies in Valinor. Ultimately, the Valar contacted Ainu, the One, and told him to take off his sunglasses to provide them the means with which to defeat this ceaseless feline siege. Ainu, busy sipping Yuengling Lite from the infinite surface area of Gabriel's Golf Tee, simply told them: Be men, not mice. Then Ainu put on his sunglasses and said "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH" before he used the Secret Fire to heat some green tea and have a three way with Darth Baras and Poggle the Lesser."

Who was the hungriest?

A) Darth Baras

B) Gog and Magog

C) The Virgin Connie Swails

D) Plaid Water

How did they get to Hogwarts?

A) By candle light

B) A spelljammer ship

C) Granola Bars

D) Ugly


There is no essay, only Zuul.
 
2012-04-20 06:21:32 PM  

californiadiver: RobSeace: Fish in a Barrel: I thought the story was a little Voight-Kampff-esque, too.

Holden: I mean: you're not helping! You're just sitting there, not racing! Why is that, Leon?

Uhhh, because..... I'm a pineapple?


Very good, Leon! Now, describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... your mother.
 
2012-04-20 06:22:32 PM  
Um,

I read this and

owl 42.

;)
 
2012-04-20 06:27:56 PM  
No that's just the replicant test.
 
2012-04-20 06:36:50 PM  
The pineapple was placed in front of the starting line prior to the start of the race.
The race was therefore invalid.
The rabbit ran anyway because it was to stupid to register a protest.
The pineapple was drug tested and found to contain an extraordinarily high amount of
THC, the animals ate it to get high.
The smartest creature was the pineapple, knowing that being eaten would free it for another turn on the wheel of karma.
It came back as George Bush and went on to rule the greatest nation on earth, but that's another story.
 
2012-04-20 06:51:05 PM  
Beginning with paragraph 4, in what order are the events in the story told?

B In the order in which the events happen

From the fourth paragraph on they unfold in a linearly.

The animals ate the pineapple most likely because they were

C Annoyed

The animals thought the pineapple tricked them and were annoyed, whether they were correct isn't relevant.

Which animal spoke the wisest words?

D The owl

Only statement verifiable

Before the race, how did the animals feel toward the pineapple?
A Suspicious

The hare accused the pineapple and planted suspicion in the other animals creating a confirmation bias.

What would have happened if the animals had decided to cheer for the hare?

D They would have been happy to have cheered for a winner.

If doubt had not been introduced, they would have been glad their favorite had won.

When the moose said that the pineapple has some trick up its sleeve, he means that the pineapple

C has a plan to fool the animals

It's an idiom.

The nouns are nonsensical, but the information to follow the characters and the narrative are clear. As a reading and word parsing comprehension test it works, but what they're trying to assess with it is beyond me.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/talking-pineapple-question-state-e xam-stumps-article-1.1064657#ixzz1sch868Pk
 
2012-04-20 06:55:14 PM  
Russ1642 ,
Fish in a Barrel: Arkanaut: You laugh now, Daily News, but do you have a better way of telling which of our children are actually replicants?
I thought the story was a little Voight-Kampff-esque, too.
This might also be some kind of calibration question. Although I'm not sure what a nonsense question would be used to calibrate. Perhaps identify cheating if too many people chose the same answer?
Could be.


Could it be testing problem solving skills, being able to prioritize. That is if a question on the test is too hard, move on, get to it later.

Arkanaut: You laugh now, Daily News, but do you have a better way of telling which of our children are actually replicants?

Best answer right there.
 
2012-04-20 06:58:12 PM  
to RembrandtQEinstein: je suis....anana!
 
2012-04-20 06:58:26 PM  
Cats hate Valinor?

Is this all I'm getting outta this nonsense?
 
2012-04-20 06:59:50 PM  
From the fourth paragraph on they unfold in a linearly.

Whoops, stoney typo--the reason I decided to answer those in the first place.
 
2012-04-20 07:01:22 PM  
The owl tells everyone that pineapples have no sleeves. It is the wisest.
The animals eat the pineapple because they were tricked ( annoyed )
The moose thinks the pineapple has something up its sleeve - the answer to the last Q is C
The second last Q is D

Its a good question
 
2012-04-20 07:03:54 PM  

bacchanalias and consequences: Beginning with paragraph 4, in what order are the events in the story told?

B In the order in which the events happen

From the fourth paragraph on they unfold in a linearly.

The animals ate the pineapple most likely because they were

C Annoyed

The animals thought the pineapple tricked them and were annoyed, whether they were correct isn't relevant.

Which animal spoke the wisest words?

D The owl

Only statement verifiable

Before the race, how did the animals feel toward the pineapple?
A Suspicious

The hare accused the pineapple and planted suspicion in the other animals creating a confirmation bias.

What would have happened if the animals had decided to cheer for the hare?

D They would have been happy to have cheered for a winner.

If doubt had not been introduced, they would have been glad their favorite had won.

When the moose said that the pineapple has some trick up its sleeve, he means that the pineapple

C has a plan to fool the animals

It's an idiom.

The nouns are nonsensical, but the information to follow the characters and the narrative are clear. As a reading and word parsing comprehension test it works, but what they're trying to assess with it is beyond me.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/talking-pineapple-question-state-e xam-stumps-article-1.1064657#ixzz1sch868Pk


yes, and the crow was the stupid animal, convincing the others that the pineapple had a great plan.
 
2012-04-20 07:05:50 PM  

algrant33: StoPPeRmobile: algrant33: You know, when you get SO many presumably-intelligent people who use different methods to arrive at DIFFERENT answers which are all OBVIOUSLY correct to the person who answered that way, it's almost as though the question has many different valid interpretations which yield different results. Such a question HAS no correct answer and it has no business being on an 8th-grade reading test.

Or is this the 8th-grade reading test's version of a FARK Politics tab discussion?

[t3.gstatic.com image 172x229]

Okay, is that Plato and his cave, or is that the guy who did the blind man and the elephant?


Is there a correct answer?
 
2012-04-20 07:06:02 PM  

ktybear: The owl tells everyone that pineapples have no sleeves. It is the wisest.
The animals eat the pineapple because they were tricked ( annoyed )
The moose thinks the pineapple has something up its sleeve - the answer to the last Q is C
The second last Q is D

Its a good question


Apostrophe error.

;)

P.S. Owl 42.
 
2012-04-20 07:08:50 PM  

Indubitably: ktybear: The owl tells everyone that pineapples have no sleeves. It is the wisest.
The animals eat the pineapple because they were tricked ( annoyed )
The moose thinks the pineapple has something up its sleeve - the answer to the last Q is C
The second last Q is D

Its a good question

Apostrophe error.

;)

P.S. Owl 42.


I blame my fuzzy brain
 
2012-04-20 07:11:37 PM  

wambu: Seems simple enough.

1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed


2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare


3. ?
a.


Frith Approves!
 
2012-04-20 07:19:04 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Here we go again
[i11.photobucket.com image 205x143]


i441.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-20 07:19:27 PM  

ktybear: Indubitably: ktybear: The owl tells everyone that pineapples have no sleeves. It is the wisest.
The animals eat the pineapple because they were tricked ( annoyed )
The moose thinks the pineapple has something up its sleeve - the answer to the last Q is C
The second last Q is D

Its a good question

Apostrophe error.

;)

P.S. Owl 42.

I blame my fuzzy brain


Me too, babe.

;)
 
2012-04-20 07:41:24 PM  

The Third Man: Fano: 2. How is a raven like a writing desk?

It is nevar placed back to front.


Flacco's center begs to differ. Go Ravens!
 
2012-04-20 07:47:38 PM  
The owl said the wisest words, although that's mainly because he said the least. What he said was pedantic, obvious, and condescending, but everybody else made him look like a frikkin' genius by comparison.
 
2012-04-20 07:49:17 PM  
I spend thousands of dollars a year so kids can have sex with their teachers and this is the kind of crap testing they get?
 
2012-04-20 07:50:09 PM  
Ok I tried it. B, A, D, B, D, C
So where is the answer key, or did I skip ahead too early?
 
2012-04-20 07:52:16 PM  
A, A, A, D, C
 
2012-04-20 07:53:52 PM  

frtmn7: It is not suppose to have an answer, they just want to see the kids logic in concluding one and the ability to problem solve under pressure. Kinda like being asked in a job interview "How many planes fly out of Hartsfield Jackson airport daily" or "How many tee shots happen daily at a public golf course". You are suppose to logically think out an answer and defend it while being able to show problem solving skills. Granted, it is a little much to ask of 8th graders, but you could judge some creativity without having a "right" answer.


But it's multiple choice. If there is no correct answer, there is no way to differentiate between random guess and an answer with some sort of logic behind it.
 
2012-04-20 07:54:40 PM  

MooseUpNorth: The owl said the wisest words, although that's mainly because he said the least. What he said was pedantic, obvious, and condescending, but everybody else made him look like a frikkin' genius by comparison.


oooh.

i sense bitter much?

and how is that working out for you?

;)
 
2012-04-20 08:00:54 PM  

BeesNuts: fisker: Quote FTFA:

AS an eighth grader I would like to say that this is not the version of the story that was on the test and the Animals ate the pineapple because they were annoyed that they had cheered for a loser. Also there was an owl in that version who said "pineapples don't have sleeves" which made him the wisest.

As an adult I would like to say that I already suspected the transcription of this story to be inaccurate, so thanks for clarifying that... but I would *also* like to say that the only way to know that those two particular answers are the "correct" answers, the story itself would have had to literally declare them so.

Something like a sentence in the story saying "This annoyed the animals." and "The wise owl said..."

In which case it's still a farking awful question because you're not testing reading comprehension, your testing regurgitation and keywording.


Even if that's 100% true, it's a stupid story and a stupid set of questions. It's not even testing keywording if there had to be a sentence like "This annoyed the animals so..." followed by a question "Why did the animals eat the pineapple?" because what you've then done is had kids read a story penned by a ball-tripping adult to throw them two answers. If you must have a keywording test, why not make it, you know, an actual TEST instead of a story written after taking acid and watching too many episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants and Bullwinkle & Rocky?
 
2012-04-20 08:06:36 PM  

namegoeshere: frtmn7: It is not suppose to have an answer, they just want to see the kids logic in concluding one and the ability to problem solve under pressure. Kinda like being asked in a job interview "How many planes fly out of Hartsfield Jackson airport daily" or "How many tee shots happen daily at a public golf course". You are suppose to logically think out an answer and defend it while being able to show problem solving skills. Granted, it is a little much to ask of 8th graders, but you could judge some creativity without having a "right" answer.

But it's multiple choice. If there is no correct answer, there is no way to differentiate between random guess and an answer with some sort of logic behind it.


Is that a real method for test creation? It seems a bit simplified. It would not hurt to give longer time limits so they do not have to build an expectation of bubble filling into the questions.

You can really learn a lot about people when you ask them abstract questions.
 
2012-04-20 08:12:35 PM  
If you read this right after it was originally posted, both the story and the questions have changed significantly.
 
2012-04-20 08:16:23 PM  

Indubitably: i sense bitter much?


In the early-mid 80s, there was a "standardized test" type pilot program where, every week for a month or so before it was quietly dropped, 6th grade students in my province had to restore a short story that had roughly half of the nouns blanked out. No word clouds or any other kind of assistance.

/ Apparently, my teacher wrote a letter protesting that asinine program, where she made a point of blanking out every fifth word.
// Awesome teacher.
 
2012-04-20 08:19:37 PM  

MacWizard: If you read this right after it was originally posted, both the story and the questions have changed significantly.


i2.listal.com

Aaaand thennnnn?
 
2012-04-20 08:20:36 PM  

MooseUpNorth: Indubitably: i sense bitter much?

In the early-mid 80s, there was a "standardized test" type pilot program where, every week for a month or so before it was quietly dropped, 6th grade students in my province had to restore a short story that had roughly half of the nouns blanked out. No word clouds or any other kind of assistance.

/ Apparently, my teacher wrote a letter protesting that asinine program, where she made a point of blanking out every fifth word.
// Awesome teacher.


Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

Solid.

;)
 
2012-04-20 08:21:56 PM  

thamike: MacWizard: If you read this right after it was originally posted, both the story and the questions have changed significantly.

[i2.listal.com image 500x281]

Aaaand thennnnn?


I read it on NPR earlier today.

Time?

Check the logs at my work.

;)
 
2012-04-20 08:37:55 PM  
ktybear:

yes, and the crow was the stupid animal, convincing the others that the pineapple had a great plan.

There's no way to tell that the crow was right. What makes you think the crow is more reliable than the pineapple?
 
2012-04-20 08:37:58 PM  
i242.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-20 08:45:30 PM  

MacWizard: If you read this right after it was originally posted, both the story and the questions have changed significantly.


Not that significantly.

The Hare and the Pineapple

by Daniel Pinkwater

In olden times, the animals of the forest could speak English just like you and me. One day, a pineapple challenged a hare to a race.

(I forgot to mention, fruits and vegetables were able to speak too.)

A hare is like a rabbit, only skinnier and faster. This particular hare was known to be the fastest animal in the forest.

"You, a pineapple have the nerve to challenge me, a hare, to a race," the hare asked the pineapple. "This must be some sort of joke."

"No," said the pineapple. "I want to race you. Twenty-six miles, and may the best animal win."

"You aren't even an animal!" the hare said. "You're a tropical fruit!"

"Well, you know what I mean," the pineapple said.


The animals of the forest thought it was very strange that tropical fruit should want to race a very fast animal.

"The pineapple has some trick up its sleeve," a moose said.

Pineapples don't have sleeves, an owl said

"Well, you know what I mean," the moose said. "If a pineapple challenges a hare to a race, it must be that the pineapple knows some secret trick that will allow it to win."

"The pineapple probably expects us to root for the hare and then look like fools when it loses," said a crow. "Then the pineapple will win the race because the hare is overconfident and takes a nap, or gets lost, or something."

The animals agreed that this made sense. There was no reason a pineapple should challenge a hare unless it had a clever plan of some sort. So the animals, wanting to back a winner, all cheered for the pineapple.

When the race began, the hare sprinted forward and was out of sight in less than a minute. The pineapple just sat there, never moving an inch.

The animals crowded around watching to see how the pineapple was going to cleverly beat the hare. Two hours later when the hare cross the finish line, the pineapple was still sitting still and hadn't moved an inch.

The animals ate the pineapple.

MORAL: Pineapples don't have sleeves


Beginning with paragraph 4, in what order are the events in the story told?

A switching back and forth between places

B In the order in which the events happen

C Switching back and forth between the past and the present

D In the order in which the hare tells the events to another animal


The animals ate the pineapple most likely because they were

A Hungry

B Excited

C Annoyed

D Amused

Which animal spoke the wisest words?

A The hare

B The moose

C The crow

D The owl

Before the race, how did the animals feel toward the pineapple?
A Suspicious

B Kindly

C Sympathetic

D Envious

What would have happened if the animals had decided to cheer for the hare?

A The pineapple would have won the race.

B They would have been mad at the hare for winning.

C The hare would have just sat there and not moved.

D They would have been happy to have cheered for a winner.

When the moose said that the pineapple has some trick up its sleeve, he means that the pineapple

A is wearing a disguise

B wants to show the animals a trick

C has a plan to fool the animals

D is going to put something out of its sleeve

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/talking-pineapple-question-state-e xam-stumps-article-1.1064657#ixzz1sdC0P8X7


We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.

Plus, the moral is even more freaking stupid now that it's been explained.
 
2012-04-20 08:55:08 PM  
I'm not sure how many of you have said this because I am 7 pages in, but I don't think they ate the pineapple because they were annoyed.

I mean, read this:

"The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race - but it knew it couldn't walk (let alone run)!
About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged.
The animals ate the pineapple."

Yes, maybe they were annoyed at one point. But they were waiting there FOR A FEW HOURS. And in a few hours, we get over stupid feelings. Life goes on. Anyone would get hungry in that amount of time, especially staring at a pineapple for a few hours.

And the owl was obviously the smartest, not getting involved in this stupid shiat at all. Probably sleeping somewhere. God, sun dwellers are retarded.
 
2012-04-20 08:59:34 PM  

Gyrfalcon: MacWizard: If you read this right after it was originally posted, both the story and the questions have changed significantly.

Not that significantly.

The Hare and the Pineapple

by Daniel Pinkwater

In olden times, the animals of the forest could speak English just like you and me. One day, a pineapple challenged a hare to a race.

(I forgot to mention, fruits and vegetables were able to speak too.)

A hare is like a rabbit, only skinnier and faster. This particular hare was known to be the fastest animal in the forest.

"You, a pineapple have the nerve to challenge me, a hare, to a race," the hare asked the pineapple. "This must be some sort of joke."

"No," said the pineapple. "I want to race you. Twenty-six miles, and may the best animal win."

"You aren't even an animal!" the hare said. "You're a tropical fruit!"

"Well, you know what I mean," the pineapple said.


The animals of the forest thought it was very strange that tropical fruit should want to race a very fast animal.

"The pineapple has some trick up its sleeve," a moose said.

Pineapples don't have sleeves, an owl said


I take my second theory back. They're all retarded.
 
2012-04-20 09:16:02 PM  

bacchanalias and consequences: ktybear:

yes, and the crow was the stupid animal, convincing the others that the pineapple had a great plan.

There's no way to tell that the crow was right. What makes you think the crow is more reliable than the pineapple?


The pineapple was a trickster, the crow was not right because he makes the false presumption that "the pineapple will win the race". The other animals are gullible for falling for the false logic.

'Reliability' wasn't really the point I was making...the crow helped the pineapple's plan, I guess might be one way of looking at it.
 
2012-04-20 09:17:32 PM  
The best thing about this thread is all the people who failed reading comprehension and couldn't understand the article.
 
2012-04-20 09:21:54 PM  

Gyrfalcon: We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.

Plus, the moral is even more freaking stupid now that it's been explained.


I think the answers to those questions are moral and philosophical, meaning the correct answer is the answer that's more correct than the others.

The moral - rephrased by my brain - discard irrelevant and unlikely scenarios when making decisions.
 
2012-04-20 09:26:34 PM  
What would have happened if the animals had decided to cheer for the hare?

A The pineapple would have won the race.

B They would have been mad at the hare for winning.

C The hare would have just sat there and not moved.

D They would have been happy to have cheered for a winner.

Logically there is only one answer

A - illogical - no it would still have sat there
B - illogical - they would have been cheering for the winner
C - illogical - no reason to think this at all, in fact the opposite since the crowd was cheering he might have run faster
D - the only answer that makes any sense
 
2012-04-20 09:31:20 PM  

Gyrfalcon: We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.


Not quite nothing. The first one is a little weird and ambiguous, yeah, but only one of the answers ("Hungry") seems like a sensible reason to eat the pineapple.

The "wisest" one is pretty easy, though. The owl was the only one that understood that its just a farking pineapple and can't possibly trick them into getting it to win a race (i.e. "it doesn't have sleeves"). All the other animals are morons for thinking a fruit was going to try and pull one over on them.

Also, in the "what would have happened" question , A is clearly nonsense, and B and C have absolutely no basis for choosing them. D is the only answer that makes any sense at all.
 
2012-04-20 09:56:11 PM  

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.

Not quite nothing. The first one is a little weird and ambiguous, yeah, but only one of the answers ("Hungry") seems like a sensible reason to eat the pineapple.

The "wisest" one is pretty easy, though. The owl was the only one that understood that its just a farking pineapple and can't possibly trick them into getting it to win a race (i.e. "it doesn't have sleeves"). All the other animals are morons for thinking a fruit was going to try and pull one over on them.

Also, in the "what would have happened" question , A is clearly nonsense, and B and C have absolutely no basis for choosing them. D is the only answer that makes any sense at all.


Goddamn, I keep forgetting it's 4/20, Friday, and everyone is off work by now.
 
2012-04-20 10:07:58 PM  

Gawdzila: Gyrfalcon: We still have to guess based on nothing: Why the animals ate the pineapple, which was the "wisest" animal, and predicted what would have happened if the animals cheered for the hare instead of the pineapple.

Not quite nothing. The first one is a little weird and ambiguous, yeah, but only one of the answers ("Hungry") seems like a sensible reason to eat the pineapple.

The "wisest" one is pretty easy, though. The owl was the only one that understood that its just a farking pineapple and can't possibly trick them into getting it to win a race (i.e. "it doesn't have sleeves"). All the other animals are morons for thinking a fruit was going to try and pull one over on them.

Also, in the "what would have happened" question , A is clearly nonsense, and B and C have absolutely no basis for choosing them. D is the only answer that makes any sense at all.


Perhaps they can be forgiven for thinking that since we were making up rules that animals and fruit can talk, potentially talking animals might believe that a talking pineapple might be capable of locomotion, ie

How do you kill a vampire?
a) A stake
b) garlic
c) sunlight
d) ANY WAY YOU WANT BECAUSE VAMPIRES AREN'T REAL!

Still, the posts that address logical ways to approach their madness make sense.
 
2012-04-20 11:37:28 PM  
The answer to the question is in the story verbatim:

-> Pineapples don't have sleeves, an owl said

And at the end:

-> MORAL: Pineapples don't have sleeves

So, the MORAL is the wise lesson we were to learn from this story, and it was directly stated by the owl.

The moose mistakes the owl's wisdom for crassness, while the owl is flatly stating that there is no trick up anybody's sleeve.

I think the whole "why did they eat the pineapple" bit is a worse question. I think because they were annoyed, but it is equally logical and acceptable to assume it is because they were hungry.
 
2012-04-20 11:49:03 PM  
There's no problem with these questions. There's a problem with standardized testing, and this is a great example of why, but if you remove from the discussion the fact that all standardized testing favors certain biases over others and thus ensures the results will be such that rich kids score better on the test than poor ones regardless of intelligence, it's a perfectly fair reading comprehension story with decent questions afterward.
 
2012-04-20 11:58:03 PM  

valenumr: I think the whole "why did they eat the pineapple" bit is a worse question. I think because they were annoyed, but it is equally logical and acceptable to assume it is because they were hungry.


True, that's the only ambiguous one. Logic or feelings
 
2012-04-21 12:00:36 AM  
I thought it was a perfectly acceptable reading comprehension question, admittedly an oddly abstract one.

Then my wife (a university professor in a relevant field) explained the background: New York state has built up a long list of things that cannot be mentioned on on tests because of possible cultural bias problems. It's up to 46 items Link. According to her, the list eliminated most of the traditionally-used passages from literature, leaving the test developers stuck with making these abstract stories up.

Every good idea gets insanely misapplied by someone.
 
2012-04-21 12:01:24 AM  

Aetre: There's no problem with these questions. There's a problem with standardized testing, and this is a great example of why, but if you remove from the discussion the fact that all standardized testing favors certain biases over others and thus ensures the results will be such that rich kids score better on the test than poor ones regardless of intelligence, it's a perfectly fair reading comprehension story with decent questions afterward.


This is true and it doesn't get explored enough, especially in elementary, middle and high schools.
In my med school class, there are people who can get perfect or miss 1-2 questions on a 300 point multiple choice exam. Yet they can fail the clinical portions. And vise versa
 
2012-04-21 12:14:03 AM  
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7061424/76355236#c76355236" target="_blank">AverageAmericanGuy</a>:</b> <i>Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.</i>

crow is not the wisest. crow is a fool. he was just a loudmouth that got all the other animals to follow his wrong theory about the motive of the pineapple. Crow is actually more than a little paranoid.

Like the earlier poster stated, Owl is the wisest in the forest.
 
2012-04-21 01:36:26 AM  
As the moral of the story said, pineapples don't have sleeves. The moral implies that there are no trick questions and everything is as it seems.

The owl was obviously the wisest, as the only animal that pointed out that the pineapple couldn't have anything up its sleeves. The other animals were all acting as if the pineapple could suddenly sprout legs and run off.

In keeping with the moral, the animals ate the pineapple because they were hungry. Why else would someone eat a piece of fruit?
 
2012-04-21 01:37:16 AM  
Got a short way into this thread before concluding that more than a few Farkers would get it wrong if the only question was, "Does this story involve a pineapple?" Never mind reading comprehension, how about reading at all?

I thought the thing itself read surprisingly like one of the smarter Fark threads. Or like I imagine such a thread would read.
 
2012-04-21 01:44:46 AM  
How does this demonstrate proficiency?

It doesn't, douchebag.

You are unsuccessful, sirs.

;)
 
2012-04-21 01:45:12 AM  

HotWingAgenda: In keeping with the moral, the animals ate the pineapple because they were hungry. Why else would someone eat a piece of fruit?


I think that takes the ambiguity away for me on that question, and all the rest are pretty straight forward.
 
2012-04-21 02:33:57 AM  
If we were really trying to stay in front wouldn't we be spending more on education?
 
2012-04-21 03:07:22 AM  
 
2012-04-21 04:32:21 AM  

wantingout: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7061424/76355236#c76355236" target="_blank">AverageAmericanGuy</a>:</b> <i>Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.</i>

crow is not the wisest. crow is a fool. he was just a loudmouth that got all the other animals to follow his wrong theory about the motive of the pineapple. Crow is actually more than a little paranoid.

Like the earlier poster stated, Owl is the wisest in the forest.


When this story was Boobiesed, it was from a paraphrased reproduction from an actual testtaker. There WAS no Owl in the story--that character had been merged with the Crow.
 
2012-04-21 04:34:34 AM  

algrant33: When this story was Boobiesed,


oh son of a biatch. laying off the jack and hitting the sack.
 
2012-04-21 05:01:15 AM  

HotWingAgenda: As the moral of the story said, pineapples don't have sleeves. The moral implies that there are no trick questions and everything is as it seems.

The owl was obviously the wisest, as the only animal that pointed out that the pineapple couldn't have anything up its sleeves. The other animals were all acting as if the pineapple could suddenly sprout legs and run off.

In keeping with the moral, the animals ate the pineapple because they were hungry. Why else would someone eat a piece of fruit?


Actually, in a fable someone or something suffers a dire consequence of failing to see the moral. Because the animals could theoretically have eaten the pineapple if they were hungry regardless of whether it had run the race or not, in order for the moral to have a meaning, they had to eat the pineapple because of the pineapple's failure to perform as they were cheering. In other words, they were annoyed. Now we can argue the meaning of the moral, which is the whole point of the fable.
 
2012-04-21 06:19:28 AM  

Crewmannumber6: [i37.photobucket.com image 96x77]


You sir, win. Sean and MC 'ClapYoHands' approve.
 
2012-04-21 06:52:45 AM  

namegoeshere: My Third Testicle: AverageAmericanGuy: Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.

1: C
Ascribing "wants" to animals is anthropomorphizing. They ate because they were hungry.
2: C
The crow was wrong, but logical.

or, maybe something else

LOLwut? Ascribing wants to animals is anthropomorphizing, and therefore incorrect, in a story in which the animals have conversations, set up, and run races?


That's reasonable, but just because they can talk and can organize a race doesn't necessarily mean that they feel the same things people do. Case in point: my last girlfriend.
 
2012-04-21 09:24:36 AM  

algrant33: wantingout: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7061424/76355236#c76355236" target="_blank">AverageAmericanGuy</a>:</b> <i>Walker: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

HOW CAN I READ ANIMAL'S MINDS??? QUESTION IS INVALID!

d. they wanted to.

They did not have a reason to eat the pineapple. Therefore, if they ate the pineapple without a reason, it is because they wanted to.

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Duh. C. Crow.</i>

crow is not the wisest. crow is a fool. he was just a loudmouth that got all the other animals to follow his wrong theory about the motive of the pineapple. Crow is actually more than a little paranoid.

Like the earlier poster stated, Owl is the wisest in the forest.

When this story was Boobiesed, it was from a paraphrased reproduction from an actual testtaker. There WAS no Owl in the story--that character had been merged with the Crow.


Oh, well NOW it all makes perfect sense! ::headslap::
 
2012-04-21 01:17:38 PM  

ktybear: The pineapple was a trickster, the crow was not right because he makes the false presumption that "the pineapple will win the race". The other animals are gullible for falling for the false logic.


Perhaps the crow was not full of shiat, but was himself a prankster. He spoonfed the others that ridiculous story, so he could laugh at them for backing a fruit over the hare.

Also, if the pineapple could talk, then it must have had a mout that could move, as well as a tongue. So it was not completely imobile. It could haveflopped over (or asked someone to push it over) and used its mouth and tongue to drag itself.
 
2012-04-21 03:14:07 PM  
Norms Testing Most standardized tests contain a few multiple choice questions for which no information is given in the reading. The "correct" answer becomes the one that is chosen by the larger number of test takers. Extra credit in a way for thinking like the crowd.
 
2012-04-21 03:19:47 PM  
The hare chuckled and explained that the talking pineapple is its solution of the problem of animals eating other animals. The crow said it didn't want the cycle of animals eating talking fruit to continue. So the hare then presented the crow with three solutions:

1) All animals die, but baby animals still exist to grow up and probably eat fruit (destroy ending).

2) The crow takes full control of all talking fruit and tells them to leave the forest (control ending).

3) Animals and fruit merge, becoming fruitimals. No one knows what the hell this even means (merge ending).

Speculation for everyone! Artistic integrity!

If my solutions don't make sense, just ask me repeatedly and I'll provide additional clarification after insulting your intelligence.
 
2012-04-21 04:01:21 PM  
Occam's Razor

A wise man doesn't over think an easy question.

so the Hare being challenged by something without a way of moving itself assumed victory,accepted, and won.
And anyone claiming that because it could talk it could move itself...I'd like to see someone move themselves along by their own mouth.

I leave you with this "Wise man say Forgiveness is Divine but never pay full price for late pizza"
 
2012-04-21 05:42:44 PM  
They ate the pineapple because he was race-ist.
 
2012-04-21 09:22:25 PM  

MoronLessOff: It is my belief that the animals ate the talking pineapple because they feel they had been swindled. The pineapple, presumably knowing he wouldn't win any race, challenged one of the fastest runners. The other animals sense the race is fixed and bet on the pineapple to reap the rewards. When the pineapple predictably losses the race, the animals would be understandably upset and they take the fruit as their reward or revenge.

The wisest animal would have to be the rabbit, since there is no explicit mention of an owl. I believe the rabbit was in on the fix. Knowing he could best a fruit in a race, but the other animals would wager against him, he stands to lose nothing and make a beneficial gain. However, it could be argued that this isn't exactly a wise move. Seeing as the other animals ate a talking and presumably intelligent/sentient being, who's to say they wouldn't take additional revenge on the rabbit if they ever discovered the scheme. He may not be very wise, but I would call him smart. Especially if the rabbit took his winnings to another forest, found another talking fruit, and set his con into motion again...barring some sort of animal police force capable of tracking fugitive rabbits. In that case, he's pretty dumb too.


I didn't read all the rest of this, but you failed third grade reading comprehension, dumbass.

Also, the owl would probably be "the wisest" for testing purposes, since he gave the "moral" in his single line in the story.

The rabbit wins for wisdom in reality for running the fark away from bizarro world.

/since when is "pineapples don't have sleeves" a farking MORAL?
 
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