/NO NO NO NO NO
//NO NO NO NO NO

Why do I get the feeling the first Aussie to see Alien walked out of the theater chuckling?

How did Hitler ever survive living in such a place?

elkraf: How did Hitler ever survive living in such a place?

Australia is a crucible where only the strong and cunning live to adulthood. The upside is an adult Australian is capable of gaining control of a country and turning its entire industrial base into a nigh-unstoppable war machine. The downside is an adult Australian is obsessed with producing a master race and doesn't place a high value on human life.

david_gaithersburg: Charlie Freak: Good goddamn, I'm so glad those things don't live over here. It's bad enough dealing with our politicians without having to run into Shelob every time you go to mow your lawn. fark. That. shiat.

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Come to Florida, we have them. Where I lived those things enjoyed putting up there webs across the bike paths.

HailRobonia: This reminds me of the mythical Chinese gu poison. You fill a box with a hundred poisonous creepy-crawlies and bury it. After a specified amount of time, you dig it up, and find that all the critters have eaten each other until there is only one left, which has concentrated all the toxins into a super duper deadly venom.

Why do you have to bury it? Why not a plexiglass box so you can watch the carnage? And it's less work that way too.

From "A guide to the fauna of Four-ecks"

"Dangerous Snakes: None. They were all eaten by the spiders"

When I was staying along The Great Ocean Road the local literature mentioned "carnivorous snails". I thought to myself, a) Good god, even the snails here are out to get you, and b) wouldn't that be an embarrassing way to go.

Australia may be the one place that is worse than Texas. I inherited my uncle's plot of land when he passed away. The problem is that A) there's no water source, B) it's in the middle of nowhere, and C) there have been sightings on that piece of land of black widows, fireants, scorpions, deerticks, rattlesnakes, skunks, coyotes, wild hogs, poison oak, and cactus. Apparently some people will endure anything to hunt deer.

SharkaPult: HailRobonia: This reminds me of the mythical Chinese gu poison. You fill a box with a hundred poisonous creepy-crawlies and bury it. After a specified amount of time, you dig it up, and find that all the critters have eaten each other until there is only one left, which has concentrated all the toxins into a super duper deadly venom.

I'd never heard of that concept, but very interesting.

One day last fall when I was sick and looking out the window I noticed a spider had laid a sac of eggs in between my storm windows and the inside-windows. The sac was trapped now, momma spider probably crawled in when the screen was up (much looser around the edges) earlier in the week, laid them and then left.
Now there is a sealed glass pane, very tight tolerance around the edges. Can't escape. Nothing to eat in there.
Those spiders will have to eat each other to survive. I imagined the last spider alive would have to be a true badass.

We had a pair of sister spiders who lived between the kitchen window and screen this year. Same deal, egg sac but most of them dispersed - our outside screen isn't that secure, and they could get in and out with little trouble. The sisters lived in webs about six inches apart. There are always all kinds of ants and flies in there, which are about the same size as the spiders and give them plenty of food. Even as an arachnophobe, I had gotten vaguely fond of them, and thought it was nice that they seemed to get along.

Then on Sunday, one sister went over into the other's web, wrapped her up, and ate her ass. She had several live ants in her own web at the time. I don't know why she did it, but she wasn't starving. I'm done anthropomorphizing spiders. They are awful.

Polly Ester: elkraf: How did Hitler ever survive living in such a place?

Australia is a crucible where only the strong and cunning live to adulthood. The upside is an adult Australian is capable of gaining control of a country and turning its entire industrial base into a nigh-unstoppable war machine. The downside is an adult Australian is obsessed with producing a master race and doesn't place a high value on human life.

Well, on the bright side, they did give us Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Australia, I love you dearly, especially my friends who live down there, but I'm afraid at this point the 'nuke it from orbit' thing is definitely coming into play. Because DAMN.

Snake should have used the Phial that Galadriel gave it and evoked the name of Eärendil. Farking amateur move.

I misread the headline and wondered what the hell kind of snake is worth $1.5M.

ghost_who_walks: Weaver95: I am never going to Australia. that entire continent can stay the hell away from me.

Awww, don't be like that! You're welcome anytime. We have lots of nice fauna flora inert things that won't kill you hurt you very much.

I have a couch that you can sleep on. It hasn't killed anyone yet.

I'd be more than happy to put Weaver up for a few nights. All I'd ask in return is that he brings along some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

So how long before some jackass imports a bunch of them to the US, they escape, and we have packs of these things roaming the suburbs eating chihuahuas and small children?

jso2897: sjcousins: GAT_00: That entire continent is apparently horrifying when it comes to animals, at least the ones that don't qualify as cute. Also, JESUS CHRIST THAT IS A GIGANTIC SPIDER.

The cute ones too I'm afraid. I work with wild koalas at the moment. A pissed off wild koala will tear you to shreds with its enormous claws and has a set of fangs you don't want to mess with. We don't give those ones to Oprah to cuddle.

/not a porky pie.

But, kangaroos....oh, wait - they will disembowel you with a single kick. But at least the platypus....no, they're venomous.
Well, anyway, the people......no, wait, they're all drunken savages.
Oh well.
Guess I'll go to the Grand Canyon instead.

I've heard that wombats aren't too bad. Mostly just derpy.


I've met too many Australian origin parrots to think they're safe.

Tarantulas, Golden Orb Spiders, Brown Recluse Spiders, Black Widow Spiders.
Poisonous Millipedes, Tailless Whip Scorpions as big as you fist, Jack Spaniard Wasps and the latest addition to the Virgin Islands - Poisonous Lion Fish.
'Course we also have White Tail Deer, Senepol Cattle, goats, beer drinking pigs, Dolphins, Lobster, Tuna and Blue Fin, hell if it doesn't kill you it's probably going to grill up real good.

No mention of "your Mom" eating a half meter snake regularly?

Fark is really slipping.

jso2897: But, kangaroos....oh, wait - they will disembowel you with a single kick. But at least the platypus....no, they're venomous.
Well, anyway, the people......no, wait, they're all drunken savages.
Oh well.
Guess I'll go to the Grand Canyon instead.

Don't forget the adorable little birdies.



/ They're like something you'd fight in Skyrim.

Well, I'm psychologically scarred for the day. I wonder how my landlady would feel about me leaning out the window of my building with a chainsaw and knocking back the branches on the adjoining trees a bit.

\oblig

Oh, that's fine. I didn't need to fall asleep ever again.

The fact that we've made it this far into the comments without a bunch of spider pics proves how horrible that farker is.

sjcousins: GAT_00: That entire continent is apparently horrifying when it comes to animals, at least the ones that don't qualify as cute. Also, JESUS CHRIST THAT IS A GIGANTIC SPIDER.

The cute ones too I'm afraid. I work with wild koalas at the moment. A pissed off wild koala will tear you to shreds with its enormous claws and has a set of fangs you don't want to mess with. We don't give those ones to Oprah to cuddle.

/not a porky pie.

But, kangaroos....oh, wait - they will disembowel you with a single kick. But at least the platypus....no, they're venomous.
Well, anyway, the people......no, wait, they're all drunken savages.
Oh well.
Guess I'll go to the Grand Canyon instead.

swaniefrmreddeer: Hey subby, a half meter does not equal 1.5m.

What? a half a meter IS one .5 meter.