FARK.com: (7059246) Tired of being abducted and "probed" by space aliens? Resistance is fertile

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(Some Alien Abductee Guy)		Tired of being abducted and "probed" by space aliens? Resistance is fertile (alienresistance.org)		62
		More: Strange, abducted by aliens, Florida Today, image of God, acting out, aliens, Bible study, baptisms

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7152 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2012 at 3:42 PM | Favorite | share:

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vpb		2012-04-19 12:00:36 PM

Walker		2012-04-19 12:02:51 PM

I get to use this pic twice today....

img.photobucket.com

DjangoStonereaver		2012-04-19 12:21:38 PM

I must be having a stroke.

That site can't have been written in English.

xanadian		2012-04-19 01:04:58 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus		2012-04-19 01:07:19 PM

I offer no resistance.

Unless she wants me to. Then I'm all about the resistance.

basemetal		2012-04-19 01:14:13 PM

CommieTaoist		2012-04-19 01:37:36 PM

Hey, some people pay good money to be probed, they should stop complaining about getting it for free.

Slives		2012-04-19 03:28:43 PM

You can stop yourself from imaginary rape by other-worldly aliens by willingly allowing yourself to be mentally raped by the invisible sky wizard.

Boss advice there bro.
You have solved so many issues in my life, you have no idea....

Citrate1007		2012-04-19 03:46:19 PM

ROFL, Christians are trying to recruit people who belive that they are interacting with powerful beings from the sky.....oh wait.

Johnny Lemonhead		2012-04-19 03:46:47 PM

This guy hasn't made an appearance yet?

files.abovetopsecret.com

Shaylen		2012-04-19 03:48:21 PM

FTA: Get determine and say no.

Must have gotten english lessons from the guy who translated Zero Wing.

/You have no chance to survive, make your time.
//For great justice send every zig!
///What happen??

proton		2012-04-19 03:48:41 PM

MadMonk		2012-04-19 03:48:49 PM

Out of all the people I have abducted in the past, nobody has ever just thought to say no. Anal probing is never mandatory, it's just what we offer first, if they didn't want it, all they had to say was no and we could instead sit down and talk while we enjoyed a nice hot cup of your earth tea.

You earthlings are so weird sometimes.

bim1154		2012-04-19 03:50:38 PM

Had my ass probed last year for a prostrate biopsy. Mother fark that smarted!

offmymeds		2012-04-19 03:50:54 PM

The helpless inability to move felt during such an attack is well-documented, apart from the abduction experience. (Read more at this link about Sleep Paralysis, aka "Old Hag".)

How do they know my ex-wife?

Sticky Hands		2012-04-19 03:51:21 PM

If by "tired" you mean "sleeping in the back yard" and "installing butflaps on all my jammies" then yes I am tired...

L.D. Ablo		2012-04-19 03:53:24 PM

Streetlight.

Gyrfalcon		2012-04-19 03:53:40 PM

Aliens AND Jesus!

It's a two-for-one ass-f*ck!

luktti		2012-04-19 03:54:15 PM

Looking for c.c. reader to pop out.

apoptotic		2012-04-19 03:59:10 PM

Bummer, the link is farked.

david_gaithersburg		2012-04-19 04:00:00 PM

Here's an interesting bit of info I read about years ago. People south of the Rio Grande have report the same rate of alien encounters as people north of the Rio Grande, but only people north of the Rio Grande tend to get probed.

namegoeshere		2012-04-19 04:00:03 PM

How psyched are these nutters that their page hits just jumped way up.

CygnusDarius		2012-04-19 04:00:37 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img36.imageshack.us image 640x983]

I offer no resistance.

Unless she wants me to. Then I'm all about the resistance.

Oh my.

radarlove		2012-04-19 04:01:43 PM

Sounds like these guys could use Schwa Corp.'s patented Xenon^TM coating.

Five Tails of Fury		2012-04-19 04:13:55 PM

Dangerous precedent being set here. It might be the perfect sales pitch for the Christers... "Accept Jesus into your heart or get buttraped!" Lots of guys would be glad to make that trade...

Shirley Ujest		2012-04-19 04:19:29 PM

Wtf was that?

freetomato		2012-04-19 04:30:10 PM

In the words of my generation....UP YOURS!

iheartscotch		2012-04-19 04:30:16 PM

Mini treadjack

My favorite scene from Paul; is when Paul kicks open the camper door and says, " It's probing time". I've never laughed so hard

End Mini threadjack

nytmare		2012-04-19 04:32:11 PM

He know there would be trouble until he put foil over the anus.

Gyrfalcon		2012-04-19 04:37:55 PM

radarlove: Sounds like these guys could use Schwa Corp.'s patented XenonTM coating.

Xenu coating, did you say?

stuffy		2012-04-19 04:43:18 PM

Don't really mind.

squidgod2000		2012-04-19 04:45:05 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh		2012-04-19 04:49:11 PM

I prefer an armed response.

Cagey B		2012-04-19 04:52:54 PM

namegoeshere: How psyched are these nutters that their page hits just jumped way up.

They'll interpret it as a DDOS attack and attribute it to the reverse vampire conspiracy.

Evil Mackerel		2012-04-19 05:01:51 PM

stuffy: [images.wikia.com image 569x366]
Don't really mind.

The middle one is the best.

J. Frank Parnell		2012-04-19 05:03:51 PM

You guys clearly didn't read far enough to find that Jesus™ is the answer, because these are the demons spoken of in the bible. Even though demon by definition means a disembodied consciousness, Christians aren't going to let details like that ruin their fun.

/these people drive me insane
//admittedly, it was a short trip

J. Frank Parnell		2012-04-19 05:07:33 PM

Oh, wait, in the boobies Jesus was featured using his heat vision on an alien grey. Just like in the bible, somewhere in the back. So that's taken care of.

/i'll show myself out

buckeyebrain		2012-04-19 05:23:48 PM

Does Not Approve

Sgygus		2012-04-19 05:32:07 PM

Become a Mormon, own your own planet, you can probe whomever you like.

Is that what is happening here?

eekmale		2012-04-19 05:39:55 PM

The real question here is, what does Bevets think about this?

Bermuda59		2012-04-19 05:55:59 PM

Video of Aliens at work
Link

CalamitousCrasher		2012-04-19 06:11:37 PM

Cagey B: namegoeshere: How psyched are these nutters that their page hits just jumped way up.

They'll interpret it as a DDOS attack and attribute it to the reverse vampire conspiracy.

Huh... so, like, they are against vampires becoming, um, un-vampires? Are Sam and Dean aware of this?

0100010		2012-04-19 06:13:46 PM

Wow, that's an incredible site. I'm delving deep in testimonials (the ones that aren't dead links) and haven't read anything quite as fascinating, disturbing, and unbelievable since cracking open my copy of the Book of the Subgenius.

It's a heaping helping of crazy in a fundamentalist tortilla and drizzled with a spicy pseudo-scientific sauce. Eating it requires hip waders and an extra strength tinfoil hat. I haven't felt so sated in years.

/Hail Eris and pass the nachos

Nightmaretony		2012-04-19 06:17:41 PM

eekmale: The real question here is, what does Bevets think about this?

You made the mistake of thinking that the bot with a random quote generator can think?

JohnnyApocalypse		2012-04-19 06:29:33 PM

cue up the ronald reading a book pic

Ghastly		2012-04-19 07:12:50 PM

I NEVER get tired of being abducted and probed.

RepoManTSM		2012-04-19 07:31:11 PM

Came for the tin foil derpiness, stayed for the religious fundamentalist derpiness.

slimfast		2012-04-19 07:41:41 PM

Not my kind of...
www.patoche.org

sk8r		2012-04-19 08:44:10 PM

An ad just popped up on the screen about spraying my behind clean. Drew- WTF??!! I clicked- it attaches to any toilet in minutes. Given that I have 38 degree artesian well water, an anal probe might be a better deal.

Seriouly Drew- where the fark do you get some of these ads?!!!!