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(Cracked)   "You Can Call Me Al" may sound upbeat, but it's included in the 6 Popular Upbeat Songs You Didn't Realize Are Depressing   (cracked.com) divider line 246
    More: Interesting, OutKast, Lucy Liu, Hey Ya, Hey, polaroid, attention spans, upbeat, Paul Simon  
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16230 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Apr 2012 at 1:06 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



246 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-04-19 01:03:02 PM
Yeah, and Cuddly Toy, by the Monkees, is really about a gang bang. What's yer point?
 
2012-04-19 01:10:38 PM
It's Raining Men is about a bukkake-bang.
 
2012-04-19 01:10:54 PM
Here's a catchy little ditty about a school shooting
Link
 
2012-04-19 01:11:03 PM
Little red corvette.
Alley oop
 
2012-04-19 01:12:58 PM
Every Breath You Take - a song about possession and obsession.
 
2012-04-19 01:14:47 PM

MatrixOutsider: Every Breath You Take - a song about possession and obsession.


I love it when broads think that song is romantic... helps you know which ones are the crazy ones.
 
2012-04-19 01:14:52 PM
OH MY GOD NO TIME TO TURNNNNNN

 
2012-04-19 01:15:59 PM
No "Excitable Boy"?
 
kab
2012-04-19 01:16:45 PM
I can tell you why Jump is secretly depressing... because it's a shiatty tune.

List really should include a song about being robbed on Christmas eve, tracking down the thief, shooting him, dumping the body in the river, and making it home in time for your kids to open their presents, with nary a regret. (new window)

/one of the best bands you've never heard of.
 
2012-04-19 01:16:46 PM

FistingMidgets: No "Excitable Boy"?


No, that one is pretty self evident.

/read the headline again
 
2012-04-19 01:16:55 PM
I always that this one would make it on a list like that.
 
2012-04-19 01:19:06 PM
Read for Third Eye Blind, was included, am happy.. or not. These songs are so confusing.
 
2012-04-19 01:21:23 PM
Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk...
(yeah, right.)
 
2012-04-19 01:22:31 PM
How about when they jazzed and sped up 'Suicide is Painless' the last few years of M*A*S*H.
 
2012-04-19 01:23:21 PM
So Squeezebox isn't really about an accordion?

The hell you say!
 
2012-04-19 01:24:12 PM

kab: I can tell you why Jump is secretly depressing... because it's a shiatty tune.


Is it ever. In my all-time top ten worst.
 
2012-04-19 01:25:45 PM
Hmm, this one too. It's as if music can be used to convey a meaning opposite its literal meaning, and perhaps used this way often.
 
2012-04-19 01:26:16 PM

Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk


Yeah, guy's in a boring marriage so he gets drunk, goes to his old place, breaks in and trashes the joint while mourning his past love (which, incidentally, included a few "broken bones").

Sounds just peachy to me.

Anyway, FTFA: Steely Dan gets a lot of flack

No, Steely Dan gets flak. I'm sure they have flacks on the payroll, but when critics fart in their general direction, it's flak.
 
2012-04-19 01:26:33 PM

Pinchfist: I always that this one would make it on a list like that.


I think the dark side of that one is too obvious; the style focuses on clear and intelligible lyrics.

So it's less of a "I've heard this 6000 times, and have no idea what he's talking about" and more of just a "musical tone doesn't match lyrics".
 
2012-04-19 01:28:39 PM

Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk...
(yeah, right.)


Uhm, it's been a long time since I listened to that song, but I think you're wrong. Aren't they both going back to the apartment they used to live in and reminising?
 
2012-04-19 01:29:18 PM
I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."
 
2012-04-19 01:29:36 PM

Abner Doon: Pinchfist: I always that this one would make it on a list like that.

I think the dark side of that one is too obvious; the style focuses on clear and intelligible lyrics.

So it's less of a "I've heard this 6000 times, and have no idea what he's talking about" and more of just a "musical tone doesn't match lyrics".


Yeah, that's a good point.
 
2012-04-19 01:30:24 PM
When I get home from work, wanna wrap myself around you
Wanna take you and squeeze ya' till the passion starts to rise
*sniff* I wanna take you to Heaven
That would make my day complete
 
2012-04-19 01:30:38 PM
I want to see a list of sad sounding songs that are really about happy things.
 
2012-04-19 01:32:08 PM
They forgot Elton John's "Think I'm Gonna Kill Myself."
 
2012-04-19 01:33:07 PM

Pinchfist: I always that this one would make it on a list like that.


I sometimes too.
 
2012-04-19 01:33:11 PM

Crewmannumber6: Here's a catchy little ditty about a school shooting
Link


I already know who you're talking about, I don't need that in my head all day. Check out this live set, and all the hot chicks in the audience. I know it's so cliche, but I bet is sucks to have all that poon tossed their way.
Link
 
2012-04-19 01:35:13 PM
I knew damn well that "You Can Call Me Al" was depressing after a Mongolian graduate student named "Lidscha" wasted ten minutes of class time ranting about how this guy ducked down an alley with a roly-poly little fat-faced girl. He had kind of a thick accent and most of us had a hard time following him under the best of circumstances, so it wasn't until about five minutes into it that I realized that he was quoting Paul Simon.

/csb
//three years pursuing a PhD in public administration before I finally snapped and said "sweet jesus, hell would be better than this" and ran screaming out of the building, never to return
 
2012-04-19 01:36:28 PM
This is going back a ways, but I always thought it was bizarre that "Mack The Knife" was turned into a peppy jazzy upbeat feelgood kinda number when it was all about a murdering rapist.
 
2012-04-19 01:36:31 PM

movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."


This times eleventy!

/Love the song, but they lyrics...MAAANNNNN!!!!!
 
2012-04-19 01:37:12 PM
Pretty much any Bowie you would consider upbeat too.

ATB needs to go back to wrinting about motels and get the hell away from Gladstone.
 
2012-04-19 01:37:14 PM
Huh. I always thought "You Can Call Me Al" was sort of an uplifting song, about a man who takes a look at his life, finds he's lost his way, and then realizes what's really important.
 
2012-04-19 01:40:49 PM

movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."


I don't think anyone ever thought "Pumped Up Kicks" was anything but dark. The freaking chorus is about needing to outrun bullets and is really, really easy to understand and clear.
 
2012-04-19 01:45:28 PM

space_cowgirl: Huh. I always thought "You Can Call Me Al" was sort of an uplifting song, about a man who takes a look at his life, finds he's lost his way, and then realizes what's really important.


So it's not about Chevy Chase?
 
2012-04-19 01:47:02 PM

Neeek: movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."

I don't think anyone ever thought "Pumped Up Kicks" was anything but dark. The freaking chorus is about needing to outrun bullets and is really, really easy to understand and clear.


Dark, yes. But, it is upbeat and so help me, play that in a bar, club or party and you'll see people dancing to it. Hooray murder!!
 
2012-04-19 01:49:12 PM

Neeek: movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."

I don't think anyone ever thought "Pumped Up Kicks" was anything but dark. The freaking chorus is about needing to outrun bullets and is really, really easy to understand and clear.


You really underestimate the stupidity of club kids.
 
2012-04-19 01:50:23 PM

MagSeven: Neeek: movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."

I don't think anyone ever thought "Pumped Up Kicks" was anything but dark. The freaking chorus is about needing to outrun bullets and is really, really easy to understand and clear.

You really underestimate the stupidity of club kids.


This is possible. I avoid them like the plague.
 
2012-04-19 01:52:17 PM
Yet, the pulp song "Common People" can truly attest what it is to be a hipster.

/Acting poor,is cool yo
 
2012-04-19 01:53:38 PM

MagSeven: You really underestimate the stupidity of club kids.


Yeah how dare kids dance to a good song without constantly contemplating what every lyric means.
 
2012-04-19 01:56:03 PM
There is no hidden meaning but it seems a rather upbeat for a song about a 9 year old orphan freezing to death.
 
2012-04-19 01:56:31 PM
"You can call me Al" is not a depressing song.

It describes an arc of personal growth that begins with a central character who is lost faith in himself and his heroes, and ends with him finally getting over himself and his own self-centeredness by seeing the people around him and realizing that his midlife crisis introspection is interfering with his ability to enjoy life.

The author of the article says, "It ends with him shouting "hallelujah!" but, for the life of me, I have no idea why."

Just a suggestion here, but if you can't understand why the song ends on a positive note, maybe you should refrain from including in your list of depressing songs.
 
2012-04-19 01:57:29 PM

propasaurus: This is going back a ways, but I always thought it was bizarre that "Mack The Knife" was turned into a peppy jazzy upbeat feelgood kinda number when it was all about a murdering rapist.


Like when McDonald's had the "Mac Tonight" ad campaign?
/listening to Threepenny Opera
 
2012-04-19 01:57:59 PM

vudukungfu: Little red corvette.
Alley oop


I always thought "Little red Corvette" was a euphemism for her clitoris

Also, Elvis Costello's "Veronica" is an upbeat, depressing song.
 
2012-04-19 01:58:39 PM
"Her name was Veronica."
 
2012-04-19 01:58:43 PM

bel4sucks: MagSeven: You really underestimate the stupidity of club kids.

Yeah how dare kids dance to a good song without constantly contemplating what every lyric means.


Nothing wrong with that. I do find it funny however when girls run to the dance floor when Crazy Biatch by Buckcherry or Figured you out by Nickelback comes on. I think "have you ever really listened to what they are saying?"
 
2012-04-19 01:58:51 PM
These?

Link

Link
 
2012-04-19 02:01:53 PM
My name is Luka, I live on the second floor?
 
2012-04-19 02:02:29 PM
How the hell did the author miss this obvious one?
 
2012-04-19 02:04:25 PM
A fun little ditty about a woman dying alone in her apartment and being eaten by her dogs. YAY!

Link
 
2012-04-19 02:06:13 PM
Don't forget John Lennon's "fark you" to the hippies.
 
2012-04-19 02:07:03 PM

puckrock2000: How the hell did the author miss this obvious one?


Could have also gone with "Glory Days".
 
2012-04-19 02:09:18 PM
Alone Again, Naturally

Sounds upbeat, despite the title, but damn, listen to the words
 
2012-04-19 02:10:18 PM
Who didn't know "You Can Call Me Al" is a depressing song?
 
2012-04-19 02:10:20 PM

MrFisher_84: The Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)


It's something of a sardonic commentary on materialism, but the character in the song certainly believes life's awesome.
 
2012-04-19 02:11:20 PM

puckrock2000: How the hell did the author miss this obvious one?


Because Born in the USA isn't catchy. And the first verse:

Born down in a dead man town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that's been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up
 
2012-04-19 02:13:32 PM

puckrock2000: How the hell did the author miss this obvious one?


Damn it I was going to say that one too.
 
2012-04-19 02:13:41 PM

buntz: Alone Again, Naturally

Sounds upbeat, despite the title, but damn, listen to the words


Oh, yeah, the guy gets left at the altar so he jumps off a tower. I've actually heard that at a wedding.
 
2012-04-19 02:13:42 PM
Can I just be the first to say that "Pumped Up Kicks" is a really catchy song the first time you hear it, but by the third time you're ready to get all stabby on random passersby?
 
2012-04-19 02:14:15 PM
The Cure's-Just Like Heaven certainly sounds upbeat.

And no one included this? Link
 
2012-04-19 02:18:20 PM
Maxwell's Silver Hammer. The most upbeat song about a serial killer I ever heard.
 
2012-04-19 02:19:14 PM
"Depending on who you ask, "Jump" represents the exact moment in time when Van Halen either stopped or started being awesome. If you fall into the former category, you're probably a die-hard Van Halen fan. If you fall into the latter category, you're the type of person who ruins anything good and everybody hates you. Sorry to break that to you on a comedy site."

A-Farking-men, Cracked article writer dude...
 
2012-04-19 02:20:32 PM

Strongbeerrules: Maxwell's Silver Hammer. The most upbeat song about a serial killer I ever heard.


What about Mack the Knife?
 
2012-04-19 02:20:54 PM
harp-tab.com

Ruby lips above the water,
Blowing bubbles, soft and fine,
But, alas, I was no swimmer,
So I lost my Clementine. -- Chor.

How I missed her! How I missed her,
How I missed my Clementine,
But I kissed her little sister,
I forgot my Clementine. -- Chor.
 
2012-04-19 02:21:00 PM
Nick Lowe - Marie Provost
 
2012-04-19 02:22:31 PM
Linvin' La Vida Loca not on the list? Unpossible.
 
2012-04-19 02:23:25 PM

PsyLord: Linvin' La Vida Loca not on the list? Unpossible.


Livin'

/can't spell
 
2012-04-19 02:26:26 PM

Rent Party: "Depending on who you ask, "Jump" represents the exact moment in time when Van Halen either stopped or started being awesome. If you fall into the former category, you're probably a die-hard Van Halen fan. If you fall into the latter category, you're the type of person who ruins anything good and everybody hates you. Sorry to break that to you on a comedy site."

A-Farking-men, Cracked article writer dude...


What about the people that listen to music to enjoy it without giving a damn when a song was written, or when a band was suppedly 'awesome' or not?
 
2012-04-19 02:27:07 PM
Now that I've read the article, there are a few more songs by Steely Dan that are more creepy and a farkton less obscure than "Everyone's Gone to the Movies".

Just for funsies, "King of the World" is a post-apocalyptic fantasy, "Peg" is about a porn fanboi, and "Josie" is about a gang-bang.
 
2012-04-19 02:27:34 PM

downstairs: puckrock2000: How the hell did the author miss this obvious one?

Because Born in the USA isn't catchy. And the first verse:

Born down in a dead man town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that's been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up


"Born in the USA" not catchy? It's the same six-note melody repeated over and over for four and a half minutes; if that doesn't get stuck in your brain, nothing will.
As far as the verses go, everyone ignored them in favor of the chorus, leading people like George Will and Ronald Reagan to believe it was a patriotic, flag-waving anthem, rather than the rant of a bitter, unemployed Vietnam vet.
 
2012-04-19 02:27:56 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Yeah, and Cuddly Toy, by the Monkees, is really about a gang bang. What's yer point?


Can't forget Last Train to Clarksville, which is about a GI going off to 'Nam. Also Randy Scouse Git is pretty negative in the chorus, Not Your Stepping Stone is basically about a guy fed up with a chick using him for personal gain. There's also these pretty upbeat songs by the Monkees:

Going Down:
Sock it to me...

Floatin' down the river
With a saturated liver
And I wish I could forgive her
But I do believe she meant it
When she told me to forget it
And I bet she will regret it
When they find me in the morning wet and drowned
And the word gets 'round
Goin' down
Goin' down

Coming' up for air
It's pretty stuffy under there
I'd like to say I didn't care
But I forgot to leave a note
And it's so hard to stay afloat
I'm soakin' wet without a boat
And I knew I should have taken off my shoes
It's front page news
Goin' down
Goin' down

I wish I had another drink
It wouldn't be so hard to sink
I should have taken time to think
Besides I got the picture straight
She must have had another date
I didn't need this extra weight
I wish that I could see the way to shore
Don't want no more
Goin' down
I'm goin' down

And now I see the life I led
I slept it all away in bed
I should have learned to swim instead
And now it's really got me stumped
I can't believe why I jumped
I'd like to get my tummy pumped
I can't believe they drink this stuff in town
This dirty brown
Goin' down

Goin' down

I wish I looked before I leaped
I didn't know it was so deep
Been down so far I don't get wet
Haven't touched the bottom yet
This river scene is gettin' old
I'm hungry, sleepy, wet and cold
She told me to forget it nice
I should have taken her advice
I only want to go on home
I'd gladly leave that girl alone
What a way to spend the night
If I don't drown, I'll die of fright
My pappy taught me how to float
But I can't swim a single note
He threw me in to teach me how
I stayed there floatin' like a mama cow
And now I've floated way down stream
I know this has to be a dream
If I could find my way to shore
I'd never, never do this anymore
I'll give you three, I've been down nine
I'm goin' down just one more time.
Goin' down.
Goin' down.

Now the sky is gettin' light
An everything will be alright
Think I finally got the knack
Just floatin' here lazy on my back
I never really liked that town
I think I'll ride the river down
Just movin' slow and floatin' free
There's a river swingin' under me.
Waving back to the folks on shore
I should have thought of this before
I'm floatin' on down to New Orleans
Goin' to pick up on some swingin' scenes
I know I'll know a better day
I'll go down groovin' all the way
Goin' down
Goin' down

Mommy and Daddy:
Ask your mommy and daddy
What happened to the Indian
Ask your mommy and daddy
To tell you where you really came from
Your mommy and daddy
Will probably quickly turn and walk away
Then ask your mommy and daddy
Who really killed JFK

Ask your mommy if she really
Gets off on all her pills
Ask your daddy why doesn't
That soldier care who he kills?
After they've put you to sleep
And tucked you safely down in your bed
Whisper mommy and daddy
Would it matter if the bullet went through my head?

If it was my blood spilling on the kitchen floor,
If it was my blood, mommy, would you care a little more?
Don't be surprised when they turn and start to cry
And tell your mommy and daddy
Tell your mommy and daddy
Scream it to your mommy and daddy,
They're living in a lie, lie, lie
It's all a lie, it's all a lie, lie, lie...

Long Title: Do I Have To Do This All Over Again?:
Do I have to do this all over again?
Didn't I do it right the first time?
Do I have to do this all over again?
How many times do I have to make this climb?
Didn't I? Didn't I?

Can I see my way to know what's really real
They say time can fix things by itself
I know life's more than just some kind of deal
Won't you tell me what all, when my soul comes off the shelf
Didn't I, oh, didn't I?

Do I have to do this all over again?
Didn't I do it right the first time?
Do I have to do this all over again?
How many times do I have to make this climb?
Didn't I?...

Star Collector:
Think I'll let her keep on going,
Wherever it is she's going to,
Give her my autograph and tell her,
It's been nice knowing you.

Cause she's the star collector,
Collector of stars,
She only aims to please,
Young celebrities,
Yeah, she's the star collector,
Collector of stars,
How can I love her,
When I just don't respect her?

When everything is going my way,
She wants to be close at hand,
She moves to some other doorway,
When things don't go,
The way she planned.

Yes, she's the star collector,
Collector of stars,
She only aims to please,
Young celebrities,
Yeah, she's the star collector,
Collector of stars,
Oh, it won't take much time,
Before I get her off my mind.
 
2012-04-19 02:28:30 PM
Am I getting old? This is the first one that came to my mind.

Link


(pops like an old one-hit wonder)
 
2012-04-19 02:29:47 PM
"1984" was pretty much the swan song of Van Halen. I love that album--yes, even "Jump"--but the very things that made it such a fine album were the very things that spelled doom for the band and its sound.
 
2012-04-19 02:30:19 PM
List MegaFails without The Beatles - Help.

Lennon wanted it to be a slow somber song. Record company forced them to make it poppy to sell more.
 
2012-04-19 02:32:14 PM
Link

/Mac: well it sounds like a song about a guy who breaks into your house and rapes you
 
2012-04-19 02:32:58 PM

theorellior: Now that I've read the article, there are a few more songs by Steely Dan that are more creepy and a farkton less obscure than "Everyone's Gone to the Movies".

Just for funsies, "King of the World" is a post-apocalyptic fantasy, "Peg" is about a porn fanboi, and "Josie" is about a gang-bang.


But nothing beats "Gaucho" - a rich old man invites a boy toy up to his apartment only to have him arrive with a rent boy from Rio.
 
2012-04-19 02:34:18 PM

EMCGuy: Rent Party: "Depending on who you ask, "Jump" represents the exact moment in time when Van Halen either stopped or started being awesome. If you fall into the former category, you're probably a die-hard Van Halen fan. If you fall into the latter category, you're the type of person who ruins anything good and everybody hates you. Sorry to break that to you on a comedy site."

A-Farking-men, Cracked article writer dude...

What about the people that listen to music to enjoy it without giving a damn when a song was written, or when a band was suppedly 'awesome' or not?


If you enjoy Jump, then you enjoy shiatty music. That song sucked no matter who did it. That it was at the vanguard of Van Halen producing decades of songs that suck is relevant.
 
2012-04-19 02:34:36 PM
Did you know that "Star-Spangled Banner" is about a battle?
 
2012-04-19 02:35:06 PM

Strongbeerrules: Maxwell's Silver Hammer. The most upbeat song about a serial killer I ever heard.


Its my ringtone, to boot!

/CSB
 
2012-04-19 02:35:17 PM
 
2012-04-19 02:36:00 PM

Abner Doon: Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk...
(yeah, right.)

Uhm, it's been a long time since I listened to that song, but I think you're wrong. Aren't they both going back to the apartment they used to live in and reminising?


Nope, he's right... The singer's gone to her apartment and broken in, since she's changed the locks and he insists on talking to her.
Additionally:
"How is the neighbour downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun"

Clearly, the subject of his affections still lives there. And is going to catch hell from her downstairs neighbor.
 
2012-04-19 02:36:08 PM
Copacabana by Barry Manilow is an upbeat disco hit, but its depressing as hell.
 
2012-04-19 02:36:08 PM

OldManDownDRoad: theorellior: Now that I've read the article, there are a few more songs by Steely Dan that are more creepy and a farkton less obscure than "Everyone's Gone to the Movies".

Just for funsies, "King of the World" is a post-apocalyptic fantasy, "Peg" is about a porn fanboi, and "Josie" is about a gang-bang.

But nothing beats "Gaucho" - a rich old man invites a boy toy up to his apartment only to have him arrive with a rent boy from Rio.



Hey 19 was always a little dark, ply a 19 year old with Tequila and Pot and you can have your way with them, just kick them out before morning.
 
2012-04-19 02:38:28 PM

OldManDownDRoad: But nothing beats "Gaucho" - a rich old man invites a boy toy up to his apartment only to have him arrive with a rent boy from Rio.


Actually, not his apartment: his skybox at the "Custerdome", where all the other old rich guys are having a good guffaw at the situation.
 
2012-04-19 02:38:47 PM
Not really THAT popular of a song, but..

"They'll Need A Crane" by TMBG.
 
2012-04-19 02:39:47 PM
Her tears flowed like wine. Try not snapping your fingers along with this tune. I dare you.
 
2012-04-19 02:40:50 PM

browneye: Copacabana by Barry Manilow is an upbeat disco hit, but its depressing as hell.


Since the 1st time I ever heard that song was on the Muppet Show done by Liza, I always thought it was a sad song.
 
2012-04-19 02:41:10 PM
"Everything's Coming Up Roses" from the musical Gypsy.

It sounds like upbeat kitsch. In reality, it's about a coont of a Stage Mother having a meltdown after finding out her 13-year-old snowflake eloped with one of her backup dancers just to get away from her. So now said Stage Mother is forcing her other daughter into showbiz, even though she's begging her mother that all she wants to do is live a normal life.

/I know, I know...
//sethrogen_paulrudd.jpg
 
2012-04-19 02:41:23 PM

Crewmannumber6: Here's a catchy little ditty about a school shooting
Link


And it's so catchy a friend of a friend walked in to their wedding reception to that tune. I turned to my wife and asked her if they had ever listened to the lyrics.

/csb
 
2012-04-19 02:41:45 PM

Theaetetus: Abner Doon: Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk...
(yeah, right.)

Uhm, it's been a long time since I listened to that song, but I think you're wrong. Aren't they both going back to the apartment they used to live in and reminising?

Nope, he's right... The singer's gone to her apartment and broken in, since she's changed the locks and he insists on talking to her.
Additionally:
"How is the neighbour downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun"

Clearly, the subject of his affections still lives there. And is going to catch hell from her downstairs neighbor.


They have a few songs that are extremely dark.

Namely, "Tonight Is The Night I Fell Asleep At The Wheel", a song about driving to see a girl and dying in a car crash. This is the chorus, which sounds so happy on the track.

I guess it's over now
Cause I've never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
So much bloooooooooooooooood


and "Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank"

You say you love me, is that the truth?
Although they've heard the songs, my friends want living proof.
I know your address, I ring the bell
I bring you flowers and a .22 with shells.
 
2012-04-19 02:41:49 PM
"Anything written by Paul Simon, ever."

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But not much.
 
2012-04-19 02:42:47 PM

kyoryu: "Anything written by Paul Simon, ever."

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But not much.



Please don't take my Kodachrome
 
2012-04-19 02:44:06 PM
Most Bruce Springsteen songs?

Chorus == Happy
rest of song != Happy

Born in the USA should not be played as a patriotic anthem.

Born to Run? This place rips the bones from your back it's a death trap? yup, happy.
 
2012-04-19 02:46:22 PM

Tom_Slick: kyoryu: "Anything written by Paul Simon, ever."

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But not much.


Please don't take my Kodachrome


I was about to say this. It's one of my favorite songs. If I had a top 10 list, it would be on there.
 
2012-04-19 02:47:56 PM

Tom_Slick: Hey 19 was always a little dark, ply a 19 year old with Tequila and Pot and you can have your way with them, just kick them out before morning.


I don't know if there are purists here who think that the latter two Dan albums are canon or not, but "Janie Runaway" is by far the sickest upbeat Dan song ever. Start with a young girl who runs away from an abusive father in Florida by burning down their house. Add a rich dilettante who picks her off the streets of New York, plies her with booze and rich food and uses her as a cum dumpster. Finally, send them off to a rural lovenest in Pennsylvania for a threesome with another starving waif, on the promise that he'll take her to Spain for her birthday. End scene.

It took me a while to parse the whole thing out, but I was soooooo impressed with the songwriting craft when I got it.
 
2012-04-19 02:48:28 PM

Tom_Slick: kyoryu: "Anything written by Paul Simon, ever."

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But not much.


Please don't take my Kodachrome


Too late.
 
2012-04-19 02:48:51 PM

kab: I can tell you why Jump is secretly depressing... because it's a shiatty tune.

List really should include a song about being robbed on Christmas eve, tracking down the thief, shooting him, dumping the body in the river, and making it home in time for your kids to open their presents, with nary a regret. (new window)

/one of the best bands you've never heard of.


ZZZZZZZzzZZZzzzZzzzzz. There is a reason nobody ever heard of them.
 
2012-04-19 02:49:58 PM
Stereolab's pretty good for this (for varying levels of upbeat):

Cybele's Reverie
Ping Pong
Brakhage

Also, if anyone wants to subject themselves to J-pop, the closing credits to the original Tenchi Muyo!, Ren'ai no Sainou. The original Japanese lyrics translate roughly to "If you say we're lovers, it's not love, so let's not."

/ Of course, the English translation rewrite is sappy tripe
 
2012-04-19 02:51:08 PM
"There She Goes" by The La's is about heroin addiction.

That was what I found funny when Christian band Sixpence None The Richer covered it.
 
2012-04-19 02:51:37 PM

theorellior: Tom_Slick: Hey 19 was always a little dark, ply a 19 year old with Tequila and Pot and you can have your way with them, just kick them out before morning.

I don't know if there are purists here who think that the latter two Dan albums are canon or not, but "Janie Runaway" is by far the sickest upbeat Dan song ever. Start with a young girl who runs away from an abusive father in Florida by burning down their house. Add a rich dilettante who picks her off the streets of New York, plies her with booze and rich food and uses her as a cum dumpster. Finally, send them off to a rural lovenest in Pennsylvania for a threesome with another starving waif, on the promise that he'll take her to Spain for her birthday. End scene.

It took me a while to parse the whole thing out, but I was soooooo impressed with the songwriting craft when I got it.


Sounds like a wonderful version of Sublime's "Wrong Way", about picking up a 12 year old prostitute, hearing her sad story, having sex with her, running away with her, and then she leaves him anyway.
 
2012-04-19 02:53:05 PM

Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.


My ex-girlfriend's roomate (at the time) is in that video.
 
2012-04-19 02:56:35 PM

kyoryu: "Anything written by Paul Simon, ever."

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But not much.


I knew a guy who asked his wife if they could play 50 Ways to Love Your Lover at the wedding dance. She didn't think that was funny.

Did I miss people mentioning Carnival Cruise's use of Iggy Pop?

I could also put in an 80s vote for Come on Eileen.
 
2012-04-19 02:56:51 PM
List fails without:

synconation.com

We're leaving together
But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back
To earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground
Will things ever be the same again?

It's the final countdown
The final countdown

Ohh
We're heading for Venus and still we stand tall
'Cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all, yea
With so many light years to go and things to be found
(To be found)
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so

It's the final countdown
The final countdown
The final countdown
(The final countdown)


An upbeat, jaunty song about an earth so uninhabitable that we have to leave it for the poisoned gas filled atmosphere of Venus.
It's the final countdown....to earth's destruction, Yeahhhhhhh!!!!!!
 
2012-04-19 02:57:07 PM

Victoly: Ping Pong


I laughed when I realized the song was basically a Marxist examination of the workings of the capitalist business cycle.
 
2012-04-19 02:57:25 PM

theorellior: OldManDownDRoad: But nothing beats "Gaucho" - a rich old man invites a boy toy up to his apartment only to have him arrive with a rent boy from Rio.

Actually, not his apartment: his skybox at the "Custerdome", where all the other old rich guys are having a good guffaw at the situation.


I go back and forth over this (as you tend to do with just about all the Becker/Fagen stuff) - I keep thinking the Custerdome is one of those ultra-expensive DFW high-rises with the glassed-walled penthouses. Old guy has party, calls up boy toy to deliver (sex, drugs, whatever) and gets pissed when he shows up with a rent boy - whom the boy toy has clearly invited up to the penthouse to show off.

The old queen does indeed have a pissy fit. It's a great bit of songwriting.
 
2012-04-19 02:57:27 PM
Steve Goodman - Go Cubs Go
 
2012-04-19 02:57:37 PM
Leave...
 
2012-04-19 02:58:06 PM
Should have been number one. It astounds me how many people think it's a happy song. It's pretty much about soul crushing depression and loneliness.
 
2012-04-19 02:58:44 PM

buntz: Alone Again, Naturally

Sounds upbeat, despite the title, but damn, listen to the words


Came for this jaunty little tune about suicidal depression, leaving... happy?
 
2012-04-19 02:59:36 PM

theorellior: Tom_Slick: Hey 19 was always a little dark, ply a 19 year old with Tequila and Pot and you can have your way with them, just kick them out before morning.

I don't know if there are purists here who think that the latter two Dan albums are canon or not, but "Janie Runaway" is by far the sickest upbeat Dan song ever.


Fark the purists.

Yeah, that one's particularly nasty. You can practically see the track marks in her arm.

/it's a federal case
 
2012-04-19 02:59:47 PM

theorellior: Tom_Slick: Hey 19 was always a little dark, ply a 19 year old with Tequila and Pot and you can have your way with them, just kick them out before morning.

I don't know if there are purists here who think that the latter two Dan albums are canon or not, but "Janie Runaway" is by far the sickest upbeat Dan song ever. Start with a young girl who runs away from an abusive father in Florida by burning down their house. Add a rich dilettante who picks her off the streets of New York, plies her with booze and rich food and uses her as a cum dumpster. Finally, send them off to a rural lovenest in Pennsylvania for a threesome with another starving waif, on the promise that he'll take her to Spain for her birthday. End scene.

It took me a while to parse the whole thing out, but I was soooooo impressed with the songwriting craft when I got it.



Then there is always Gaslight Abby, nubile girl at the shore for the summer hooks up with local older guy who spikes her tea with narcotics and then shiat just gets weird.
 
2012-04-19 03:00:14 PM

OldManDownDRoad: The old queen does indeed have a pissy fit. It's a great bit of songwriting.


Sad thing about that song, Fagen intended it as a tribute to Keith Jarrett's piano style, but it sounded so much like Jarrett that he successfully sued for credit.
 
2012-04-19 03:03:36 PM

Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk...
(yeah, right.)


Ringtone for when my ex-husband calls.
 
2012-04-19 03:04:09 PM
This is a happy, little upbeat musical number, nice and peppy. And if you don't speak German, you miss the fact that it is about a child buried alive with a music box in its coffin, which it plays with underground, the music "eine melody im wind..."

And here's another, with a lovely bit of piano work dancing above the absolutely crushing guitars, about a man on a bridge, but naturally Rammstein take a more...er...proactive approach to the situation.
 
2012-04-19 03:04:54 PM

kyoryu: "Anything written by Paul Simon, ever."

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But not much.


Cecilia immediately came to mind quickly followed by "I am a Rock".
 
2012-04-19 03:06:03 PM
"One" by U2 is a farking depressing song about dysfunction and codependence. And dipshiatty dipshiats actually play that song at weddings.

The lyric is "WE GET to carry each other" not "WE'VE GOT to carry each other."
 
2012-04-19 03:07:32 PM

Tom_Slick: Then there is always Gaslight Abby, nubile girl at the shore for the summer hooks up with local older guy who spikes her tea with narcotics and then shiat just gets weird.


I hate to be That Guy, but that's not quite it. It's about a guy who meets a young nubile thing and they decide to drive his wife crazy so he can quietly shuffle her off to an institution instead of divorcing her..
 
2012-04-19 03:08:05 PM

kyoryu: "Anything written by Paul Simon, ever."

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But not much.


Don't forget Phil Collins.
 
2012-04-19 03:10:37 PM

theorellior: I hate to be That Guy, but that's not quite it. It's about a guy who meets a young nubile thing and they decide to drive his wife crazy so he can quietly shuffle her off to an institution instead of divorcing her..


Please be that guy that song has had me confused for years I never picked up on the wife thing.
 
2012-04-19 03:12:15 PM
Forgots this one by Phil Ochs:

Outside of a Small Circle of Friends:
Look outside the window, there's a woman being grabbed
They've dragged her to the bushes and now she's being stabbed
Maybe we should call the cops and try to stop the pain
But Monopoly is so much fun, I'd hate to blow the game
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends.

Riding down the highway, yes, my back is getting stiff
Thirteen cars are piled up, they're hanging on a cliff.
Maybe we should pull them back with our towing chain
But we gotta move and we might get sued and it looks like it's gonna rain
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends.

Sweating in the ghetto with the colored and the poor
The rats have joined the babies who are sleeping on the floor
Now wouldn't it be a riot if they really blew their tops?
But they got too much already and besides we got the cops
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends.

Oh there's a dirty paper using sex to make a sale
The Supreme Court was so upset, they sent him off to jail.
Maybe we should help the fiend and take away his fine.
But we're busy reading Playboy and the Sunday New York Times
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

Smoking marihuana is more fun than drinking beer,
But a friend of ours was captured and they gave him thirty years
Maybe we should raise our voices, ask somebody why
But demonstrations are a drag, besides we're much too high
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

Oh look outside the window, there's a woman being grabbed
They've dragged her to the bushes and now she's being stabbed
Maybe we should call the cops and try to stop the pain
But Monopoly is so much fun, I'd hate to blow the game
And I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

Happy happy bouncy bouncy ragtime Dixieland Jazz music set to lyrics about how farking apathetic people are
 
2012-04-19 03:13:39 PM
On a slightly different note I am always suprised by the number of girls who like Police songs as "romantic" when they are about a stalker.
 
2012-04-19 03:14:06 PM
Custerdome meaning from this site:Link
A fictional skyscraper containing the luxury apartment where the song's plot unfolds. Editor's note: I decided to make an exception to my usual "no fictional words" rule and include this in the dictionary for two reasons: A) It's the word I get asked about most frequently by site visitors; and B) Temporarily abandoning their reticence to discuss lyric interpretations, Becker and Fagen kindly explained its exact meaning during an interview: "It exists only in our collective imagination. In the Steely Dan lexicon it serves as an archetype of a building that houses great corporations..."
 
2012-04-19 03:18:14 PM

T-Servo:
I could also put in an 80s vote for Come on Eileen.


Good call. I remember looking up the lyrics once and going, 'Wtf? There goes my happy song'
 
2012-04-19 03:18:53 PM

liam76: On a slightly different note I am always suprised by the number of girls who like Police songs as "romantic" when they are about a stalker.


The Police find it disturbing.
 
2012-04-19 03:20:20 PM
It's not secretly depressing so much as secretly anarchistic and badass, but the Jefferson Airplane really faked everyone out with how smiley-faced and folksy this one sounds, until you pay attention to the lyrics.
 
2012-04-19 03:21:54 PM

Theaetetus: Abner Doon: Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk...
(yeah, right.)

Uhm, it's been a long time since I listened to that song, but I think you're wrong. Aren't they both going back to the apartment they used to live in and reminising?

Nope, he's right... The singer's gone to her apartment and broken in, since she's changed the locks and he insists on talking to her.
Additionally:
"How is the neighbour downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun"

Clearly, the subject of his affections still lives there. And is going to catch hell from her downstairs neighbor.


But the lyrics at the end switch to "we".

I interpreted the whole song as him actually singing to the apartment.

Broktun: My name is Luka, I live on the second floor?


More catchy than upbeat, but always a downer.
 
2012-04-19 03:25:10 PM

KatjaMouse: Strongbeerrules: Maxwell's Silver Hammer. The most upbeat song about a serial killer I ever heard.

What about Mack the Knife?


Yes, that too, although Silver Hammer is more cheerful.
 
2012-04-19 03:25:25 PM

Tom_Slick: Please be that guy that song has had me confused for years I never picked up on the wife thing.


The word "gaslighting" means "to deliberately drive someone insane through subterfuge". It comes from the movie "Gaslight", which had that as the plot. The song actually includes some sly references to the movie, as well as to "The Manchurian Candidate" (the hand of solitaire).
 
2012-04-19 03:26:20 PM

FirstNationalBastard: MatrixOutsider: Every Breath You Take - a song about possession and obsession.

I love it when broads think that song is romantic... helps you know which ones are the crazy ones.


The difference betwen stalking and being romantic is pretty much whether or not the object of affection returns said affection. A real relationship grows deeper over time but in the beginning stages they are really similar. And most people who think the song is romantic arent crazy, they just arent that smart.

Clicked on the article expecting "Semi-Charmed Life". Recently the company my mother works for was using the intro "do do do" part in a flash intro on their website. I laughed my ass off when I discovered this while fixing a computer issue for her.
 
2012-04-19 03:27:05 PM

Jake Havechek: "There She Goes" by The La's is about heroin addiction.

That was what I found funny when Christian band Sixpence None The Richer covered it.


To be fair, the rest of Sixpence None The Richer's self-titled album is also depressing as f*ck, except for the other radio single, "Kiss Me".

It's actually one of my favorite albums.

Also, speaking of musicians often unfairly pigeonholed into a religion, this list fails without Beck's "Girl"

/the lyric is NOT "sun-eyed girl"
 
2012-04-19 03:30:34 PM

Fallout Zone: But the lyrics at the end switch to "we".

I interpreted the whole song as him actually singing to the apartment.


I looked at it as him saying "we" as back when he was with her. He has a new girlfriend now (and her body keeps him warm) but he's coming back to look at the old apartment.
 
2012-04-19 03:31:30 PM
I love songs with upbeat tunes and depressing/dark lyrics.

My ex used to love Flagpole Sitter for the music, then I clued her in on the lyrics.

/I love Santaria and Smile by Lily Allan for the same reason.
 
2012-04-19 03:33:34 PM
"Wonderful" by Everclear always depresses me...and yet it's so damn peppy.
 
2012-04-19 03:34:25 PM
Well, this farking sucks. The version of "Detroit Rock City" on "Smashes, Thrashes and Hits" is edited and doesn't have the beginning news story or the crash at the end. And it has Eric Carr's version of Beth instead of Peter Criss.

I don't remember if I ever bought "Destroyer" on CD. Crap.
 
2012-04-19 03:35:01 PM
Just about any song from Sublime. This one has a chipper, cheerful tune completely at odds with the sad story in the lyrics.

The New Radicals, too. Joyous sound, but sad story at the heart.
 
2012-04-19 03:36:09 PM

theorellior: Can I just be the first to say that "Pumped Up Kicks" is a really catchy song the first time you hear it, but by the third time you're ready to get all stabby on random passersby?


It took me a bit longer (maybe a few weeks of hearing it every freaking day), but yep. Super catchy tune, but it started grating on me in a huge way (the whispery/processed/who-gives-a-shiat-vocals, the endlessly repeated chorus, the goddamn WHISTLING) in short order.
 
2012-04-19 03:37:05 PM
Damn you and all your youtube links....blocked at work
 
2012-04-19 03:37:27 PM

snowshovel: "Wonderful" by Everclear always depresses me...and yet it's so damn peppy.


Everclear rips out my heart a lot. As a child of divorce abandoned by his father, who has a child and is now divorced (no abandoning my kid) Everclear and Blink -182 can get me depressed.
 
2012-04-19 03:38:02 PM

DeaH: Just about any song from Sublime. This one has a chipper, cheerful tune completely at odds with the sad story in the lyrics.

The New Radicals, too. Joyous sound, but sad story at the heart.


Yeah, Sublime does that too.
 
2012-04-19 03:38:20 PM

Theaetetus: Abner Doon: Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk...
(yeah, right.)

Uhm, it's been a long time since I listened to that song, but I think you're wrong. Aren't they both going back to the apartment they used to live in and reminising?

Nope, he's right... The singer's gone to her apartment and broken in, since she's changed the locks and he insists on talking to her.
Additionally:
"How is the neighbour downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun"

Clearly, the subject of his affections still lives there. And is going to catch hell from her downstairs neighbor.


That last part makes sense either way. Either he's farking with the old GF that will catch hell, or just annoying the downstairs neighbor.

Eh, reading the lyrics and watching the music video...the whole thing just doesn't actually make sense either way. The video shows him and his chick both there reliving old memories, which, granted, it's a music video...they're not exactly known for being terribly accurate or literal.

But wait, there's more.

Near the beginning of the song, you're right, the whole "Why did I have to break in, I only came here to talk" part only makes sense if he's creepy stalker guy, but the rest only makes sense if he's not. Like at the end:

"We bought an old house on the Danforth
She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy there
But this is where we used to live"


So I guess they couldn't decide and wrote it both ways? Or they just threw in the "came here to talk" part for flow or something? *shrug*
 
2012-04-19 03:38:36 PM

puckrock2000: "Born in the USA" not catchy? It's the same six-note melody repeated over and over for four and a half minutes; if that doesn't get stuck in your brain, nothing will.
As far as the verses go, everyone ignored them in favor of the chorus, leading people like George Will and Ronald Reagan to believe it was a patriotic, flag-waving anthem, rather than the rant of a bitter, unemployed Vietnam vet.


John McCain did a similar thing when he used John Mellencamp's Pink Houses during his campaign. The song is about people being depressed and realizing their American dreams will never come true. But hey, it has "America" in the chorus! Alot! So it must be awesome!
 
2012-04-19 03:41:46 PM

Abner Doon: So I guess they couldn't decide and wrote it both ways? Or they just threw in the "came here to talk" part for flow or something? *shrug*


I took it as the idea that he has a new girl. But he's still obsessed with her.

And she does live there, since he's asking why she kept some of the things that are his. So they obviously live apart.
 
2012-04-19 03:44:24 PM

SharkTrager: DeaH: Just about any song from Sublime. This one has a chipper, cheerful tune completely at odds with the sad story in the lyrics.

The New Radicals, too. Joyous sound, but sad story at the heart.

Yeah, Sublime does that too.



Yes they do "Date Rape" is an annoyingly catchy tune.
 
2012-04-19 03:45:09 PM

Treygreen13: Fallout Zone: But the lyrics at the end switch to "we".

I interpreted the whole song as him actually singing to the apartment.

I looked at it as him saying "we" as back when he was with her. He has a new girlfriend now (and her body keeps him warm) but he's coming back to look at the old apartment.


Could be. Alternatively...

"We bought an old house on the Danforth
She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy there
But this is where we used to live"

...the "she" is actually the house. They moved out of the apartment to a house and settled down, but he/they still long for youth. That's what the apartment represents, faults and all.
 
2012-04-19 03:45:45 PM

Treygreen13: Abner Doon: So I guess they couldn't decide and wrote it both ways? Or they just threw in the "came here to talk" part for flow or something? *shrug*

I took it as the idea that he has a new girl. But he's still obsessed with her.

And she does live there, since he's asking why she kept some of the things that are his. So they obviously live apart.


Hmmm. That could make sense. The video totally doesn't match the song that way, but all-in-all that's probably the best interpretation.

/ Kinda lame that way though, I mean who is serious enough about a new girl to buy a house together, but still creepy stalkerish with the old one?
 
2012-04-19 03:46:22 PM
Surprised not to see the Pumpkins' "Today" in there. To this day I encounter people who think it's really happy, or know what it's really about and still act like it's a happy song. Bizarre.
 
2012-04-19 03:46:27 PM

Treygreen13: Abner Doon: So I guess they couldn't decide and wrote it both ways? Or they just threw in the "came here to talk" part for flow or something? *shrug*

I took it as the idea that he has a new girl. But he's still obsessed with her.

And she does live there, since he's asking why she kept some of the things that are his. So they obviously live apart.


But again, the mousetrap and dishrack are things that you might leave behind when you move out of a place. Another hint that "she" could be the apartment itself.
 
2012-04-19 03:46:44 PM

MagSeven: bel4sucks: MagSeven: You really underestimate the stupidity of club kids.

Yeah how dare kids dance to a good song without constantly contemplating what every lyric means.

Nothing wrong with that. I do find it funny however when girls run to the dance floor when Crazy Biatch by Buckcherry or Figured you out by Nickelback comes on. I think "have you ever really listened to what they are saying?"


Yes, they have. Girls out for a night of drinking and partying possibly ending with a casual hookup kinda enjoy embracing the dirtier side of their personality.

I'd imagine you don't get laid much if you saw this happening and thought anything other than "targets locked"
 
2012-04-19 03:47:09 PM
This is where medtek jumps in and reminds everyone that the "horn section" in "You Can Call Me Al" is actually Adrian Belew on guitar.

thank you.
 
2012-04-19 03:47:16 PM

killershark: John McCain did a similar thing when he used John Mellencamp's Pink Houses during his campaign. The song is about people being depressed and realizing their American dreams will never come true. But hey, it has "America" in the chorus! Alot! So it must be awesome!


His whole campaign was lulzy. I loved when he used Orleans' "Still the One". The cowriter, John Hall, had been the Democratic representative to New York's 19th District at the time and informed the campaign that they definitely did not have permission to use his song. :)
 
2012-04-19 03:51:24 PM
I know this is a slightly different tack, but Motown was the absolute masters of combining danceable, upbeat melodies with heartbreaking lyrics:

Tears of a Clown The fast version. Later, it was slowed down and that version does sound sad. This one is a real a barnburner.

Since I Lost My Baby This one has always made me think the lyrics betray the melody. It even starts off, 'the sun is shining...' Everything is going right in this guy's life, except...well, you know.

Just My Imagination Perhaps not 'upbeat' in terms of tempo, but it definitely has a dreaminess not generally associated with unrequited love.

Ain't Too Proud to Beg You know you dance to this one.

My Whole World Ended Listen to the Detroit Symphony Orchestra and David Ruffin just kill this one.
 
2012-04-19 03:52:19 PM

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: killershark: John McCain did a similar thing when he used John Mellencamp's Pink Houses during his campaign. The song is about people being depressed and realizing their American dreams will never come true. But hey, it has "America" in the chorus! Alot! So it must be awesome!

His whole campaign was lulzy. I loved when he used Orleans' "Still the One". The cowriter, John Hall, had been the Democratic representative to New York's 19th District at the time and informed the campaign that they definitely did not have permission to use his song. :)


I thought it was funny when the band at the DNC played that song. John Hall was there. They should have asked him to do a guest performance if they are going to play it all.
 
2012-04-19 03:53:12 PM

FirstNationalBastard: MatrixOutsider: Every Breath You Take - a song about possession and obsession.

I love it when broads think that song is romantic... helps you know which ones are the crazy ones.


Doesn't romance necessarily involve some degree of creepy obsession, at least from the point of view of anyone not directly involved? Even most of my more level-headed married friends can make the whole room uncomfortable pretty fast.

//A song having depressing lyrics doesn't necessarily make it a depressing song, or vice versa. Dance music is dance music.
 
2012-04-19 03:55:01 PM

Fallout Zone: Treygreen13: Abner Doon: So I guess they couldn't decide and wrote it both ways? Or they just threw in the "came here to talk" part for flow or something? *shrug*

I took it as the idea that he has a new girl. But he's still obsessed with her.

And she does live there, since he's asking why she kept some of the things that are his. So they obviously live apart.

But again, the mousetrap and dishrack are things that you might leave behind when you move out of a place. Another hint that "she" could be the apartment itself.


Well I doubt the apartment painted the walls, cleaned the floor, and plastered over the hole he punched in the door.
 
2012-04-19 04:11:04 PM

KwameKilstrawberry: Just My Imagination Perhaps not 'upbeat' in terms of tempo, but it definitely has a dreaminess not generally associated with unrequited love.


Love. That. Song.
 
2012-04-19 04:14:07 PM
Just wanted to stop in and comment about how your favorite band sucks.

Yes, you.
 
2012-04-19 04:14:31 PM

Treygreen13: Fallout Zone: Treygreen13: Abner Doon: So I guess they couldn't decide and wrote it both ways? Or they just threw in the "came here to talk" part for flow or something? *shrug*

I took it as the idea that he has a new girl. But he's still obsessed with her.

And she does live there, since he's asking why she kept some of the things that are his. So they obviously live apart.

But again, the mousetrap and dishrack are things that you might leave behind when you move out of a place. Another hint that "she" could be the apartment itself.

Well I doubt the apartment painted the walls, cleaned the floor, and plastered over the hole he punched in the door.


Well, whatever is going on in that song, there's some serious pronoun abuse involved. That doesn't really favor any theory over another I don't think.
 
2012-04-19 04:15:48 PM

MithrandirBooga: List MegaFails without The Beatles - Help.

Lennon wanted it to be a slow somber song. Record company forced them to make it poppy to sell more.


Here's Lennon doing a demo as he envisioned it (I think).

Here's U2 playing a slowed down version at Amnesty International in the 80s.

Sorry if these have already been posted. I didn't read ahead in the thread.
 
2012-04-19 04:16:06 PM
I always thought the lyrics in Jump were "Can't you see me standing here I got my bike against the wrecking machine..."
 
2012-04-19 04:16:53 PM

Tom_Slick: SharkTrager: DeaH: Just about any song from Sublime. This one has a chipper, cheerful tune completely at odds with the sad story in the lyrics.

The New Radicals, too. Joyous sound, but sad story at the heart.

Yeah, Sublime does that too.


Yes they do "Date Rape" is an annoyingly catchy tune.


This one as well (IMHO).

Apologies if it was already posted
 
2012-04-19 04:17:21 PM

MoronLessOff: KwameKilstrawberry: Just My Imagination Perhaps not 'upbeat' in terms of tempo, but it definitely has a dreaminess not generally associated with unrequited love.

Love. That. Song.


I forgot to say, it's kind of like Two Silhouettes
 
2012-04-19 04:18:45 PM

downstairs: Strongbeerrules: Maxwell's Silver Hammer. The most upbeat song about a serial killer I ever heard.

Its my ringtone, to boot!

/CSB


My son is named after that song (which I've loved since I was a little kid).

/no, his name is not Joan, Rose, or Valerie
 
2012-04-19 04:24:27 PM
I always found that farking song depressing.
 
2012-04-19 04:24:47 PM

theorellior: Can I just be the first to say that "Pumped Up Kicks" is a really catchy song the first time you hear it, but by the third time you're ready to get all stabby on random passersby?


Both "Funny" and "Smart." Damn right.
 
2012-04-19 04:25:37 PM

T-Servo: kyoryu: "Anything written by Paul Simon, ever."

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But not much.

I knew a guy who asked his wife if they could play 50 Ways to Love Your Lover at the wedding dance. She didn't think that was funny.

Did I miss people mentioning Carnival Cruise's use of Iggy Pop?

I could also put in an 80s vote for Come on Eileen.


Went to a wedding reception in the late 90s and the bride and groom's first dance was to Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. They were not being cute or ironic.
 
2012-04-19 04:26:56 PM

KwameKilstrawberry: I know this is a slightly different tack, but Motown was the absolute masters of combining danceable, upbeat melodies with heartbreaking lyrics:

Tears of a Clown The fast version. Later, it was slowed down and that version does sound sad. This one is a real a barnburner.

Since I Lost My Baby This one has always made me think the lyrics betray the melody. It even starts off, 'the sun is shining...' Everything is going right in this guy's life, except...well, you know.

Just My Imagination Perhaps not 'upbeat' in terms of tempo, but it definitely has a dreaminess not generally associated with unrequited love.

Ain't Too Proud to Beg You know you dance to this one.

My Whole World Ended Listen to the Detroit Symphony Orchestra and David Ruffin just kill this one.


Absolutely. And this will really make me seem old & square, but a lot of the Carpenters' songs had really sad lyrics, if you only listen. Especially in light of Karen's eventual demise. I never was a fan during their heyday, but I have a lot more respect for her/them now.

"Do I listen to pop music because I'm depressed, or did listening to it MAKE me depressed"....I'm paraphrasing here, but anyone who has seen "High Fidelity" knows what I mean.
 
2012-04-19 04:30:53 PM
Have we forgotten about Elton John's "Daniel"...anybody?

//I still cry when I hear that song.
 
2012-04-19 04:31:53 PM

MedTek: This is where medtek jumps in and reminds everyone that the "horn section" in "You Can Call Me Al" is actually Adrian Belew on guitar.

thank you.


I had no idea. And you made me listen to that horrible song and watch that horrible video with those horrible people in it.

/the horror
 
2012-04-19 04:35:36 PM

deathon2legs: MedTek: This is where medtek jumps in and reminds everyone that the "horn section" in "You Can Call Me Al" is actually Adrian Belew on guitar.

thank you.

I had no idea. And you made me listen to that horrible song and watch that horrible video with those horrible people in it.

/the horror


It's true though. I promise.
 
2012-04-19 04:35:40 PM

Angry Buddha: Went to a wedding reception in the late 90s and the bride and groom's first dance was to Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. They were not being cute or ironic.


That's classy. Did they dance through motions of sliding into third?
 
2012-04-19 04:35:56 PM

Strongbeerrules: KatjaMouse: Strongbeerrules: Maxwell's Silver Hammer. The most upbeat song about a serial killer I ever heard.

What about Mack the Knife?

Yes, that too, although Silver Hammer is more cheerful.


But Mack was just cooler. You know... like... 30% cooler.
 
2012-04-19 04:47:38 PM
Everything the Guess Who ever wrote.

Sounds upbeat, but rather creepy and down.
 
2012-04-19 04:51:10 PM

Angry Buddha: Went to a wedding reception in the late 90s and the bride and groom's first dance was to Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. They were not being cute or ironic.


I used to cater for weddings in the early 2000's. That was shockingly popular - having Paradise by the Dashboard Lights as the first dance.

The fact is that most couples don't tell the DJ what they want and Wedding DJs are usually complete mocking assholes.

/Rick Springfield's "Jesse's Girl" during the garter portion of the bouquet ceremony was pretty common too
 
2012-04-19 04:55:59 PM

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: /Rick Springfield's "Jesse's Girl" during the garter portion of the bouquet ceremony was pretty common too


My buddy's in a band. (levon helm is gone btw)
and he frequently plays someone's wedding for a second time.
 
2012-04-19 05:08:26 PM

vudukungfu: {levon helm is gone btw)


Oh, man :( I knew he was in the final stages of cancer but I didn't realize he'd passed away already.

I used to live right outside of Woodstock. I regret not going to his weekly concerts.

/FWIW they sold out really quick and I was on-call 24/7 for my job at the time
 
2012-04-19 05:12:21 PM
Anything by Drake, Wale, Lil Wayne, Kanye West, or Justin Bieber...........

/because it got made, yeah
 
2012-04-19 05:17:22 PM
You can pretty much add the entire discography of the Violent Femmes to this list.

/hates the violent farking femmes
 
2012-04-19 05:21:35 PM
Where, o where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over, and thought I'd found true love.
You met another and THBBPT you were gone.
 
2012-04-19 05:22:31 PM
party at groundzero anyone?

Link
 
2012-04-19 05:27:57 PM

Pontious Pilates: "One" by U2 is a farking depressing song about dysfunction and codependence.


I was gonna add that one, but I always took it as a father making a half-assed effort to reconcile a hateful attitude towards his gay / HIV+ son... "Did you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?" + the video put the idea in my head... but I spent a lot of time living in SF, so I may have an odd perspective.

Still, One and With or Without You being considered "romantic" slays me.

Angry Buddha: Went to a wedding reception in the late 90s and the bride and groom's first dance was to Paradise by the Dashboard Lights.


LOL. Awesome.

Not yet mentioned:

Somewhere Over The Rainbow -- not particularly "upbeat," but popular and catchy... and not happy and hopeful, but rather, "my god this place / my life is a shiat hole."

Also, can't believe no one has mentioned Mmm Bop. Isn't that once-wildly-popular teen-ie pop song about aging and death?

But mostly, I wanted to biatch: Am I the only one annoyed by the fact that youtube links don't reveal anything about the video? Having to click through to see what song is mentioned is annoying, dammit!
 
2012-04-19 05:30:54 PM
Where have you been, my blue eyed son?
 
2012-04-19 05:41:14 PM
"who's that knocking at my door" cried the fair young maiden
 
2012-04-19 05:45:12 PM
I've always hated that stupid song
 
2012-04-19 06:00:51 PM

propasaurus: This is going back a ways, but I always thought it was bizarre that "Mack The Knife" was turned into a peppy jazzy upbeat feelgood kinda number when it was all about a murdering rapist.


I thought he was a mafioso.
 
2012-04-19 06:04:56 PM

theorellior: "Josie" is about a gang-bang.


"Josie" is about the town slut, but it's not indicated whether everybody dances on the bones at the same time, or in sequence.
 
2012-04-19 06:10:52 PM
to be fair, the radio (and probably MTV) used to edit out the overt references to meth in that Third Eye Blind song.
 
2012-04-19 06:12:36 PM
Isn't this the entire thesis of "emo" music? I mean, every single song by Fallout Boy has this exact theme. It's upbeat dance music about depressing ass shiat.
 
2012-04-19 06:12:41 PM
"We know you're used to 16 or more/Sorry we only have eight."
The last time 8 mm film wasn't used to film something terrible was sometime around the Great Depression.


Way to pick out the most superficial meaning of that couplet, and miss out on the most odious.

/8 and 16 can also refer to the ages of the performers in Mr. LaPage's films vs. others.
 
2012-04-19 06:27:45 PM

PsyLord: Linvin' La Vida Loca not on the list? Unpossible.


Woke up in New York City
In a bathtub full of ice
She had taken both my kidneys
Now I need some good advice

/at least those are the lyrics that play in my head
 
2012-04-19 06:37:55 PM

FistingMidgets: No "Excitable Boy"?


As far as Zevon goes, Roland was the first that came to mind, but that doesnt disguise much either.
 
2012-04-19 06:42:57 PM

space_cowgirl: Huh. I always thought "You Can Call Me Al" was sort of an uplifting song, about a man who takes a look at his life, finds he's lost his way, and then realizes what's really important.


Yeah, that's pretty much my take on it, too.
 
2012-04-19 06:58:11 PM
It always amazes me that companies use Big Rock Candy Mountain n their advertising.
Google it. I dare you.
 
2012-04-19 07:36:05 PM
i43.tower.com
Should be number 1.
 
2012-04-19 07:40:06 PM

Gunderson:

Also, Elvis Costello's "Veronica" is an upbeat, depressing song.


This song came on the radio in the car once, and I lost my shiat sobbing (as a passenger... song reminds me of my grandmother) and my husband had no idea what was going on. He's not familiar with the song.
 
2012-04-19 08:07:39 PM
All of the Nick Lowe references are hereby awarded 35 intratoobs.
 
2012-04-19 08:13:56 PM
Carmelite - Warren Zevon
Ride On - ACDC
 
2012-04-19 08:18:57 PM
"The Ledge" by the Replacements is a fantastic song......

/but it's sad
 
2012-04-19 08:39:09 PM
Sort of like how Squeeze's Cool for Cats is about the dangers of Capitalism?

/it's stuck in my head
//misery wants company
 
2012-04-19 08:47:05 PM

theorellior: Now that I've read the article, there are a few more songs by Steely Dan that are more creepy and a farkton less obscure than "Everyone's Gone to the Movies".

I respectably disagree.

 
2012-04-19 09:35:54 PM
"Music loud and women warm
I've been kicked around
since I was born

And now it's all right, it's ok
and you may look the other way
We can try to understand
The New York Times' effect on man

Well now I get low and I get high
And if I can't get either, I really try
Got the wings of heaven on my shoes
I'm a dancin man and I just can't lose

You know it's all right, it's ok
I'll live to see another day
We can try to understand
The New York Times' effect on man

Life goin' nowhere
somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Life goin' nowhere
somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Stayin' alive."

Barely capable of tolerating the pain of existence? NIetzschean lament of alienation, nihilism and futility?

--Nope, another catchy disco classic
 
2012-04-19 09:37:18 PM

Treygreen13: [harp-tab.com image 543x635]

Ruby lips above the water,
Blowing bubbles, soft and fine,
But, alas, I was no swimmer,
So I lost my Clementine. -- Chor.

How I missed her! How I missed her,
How I missed my Clementine,
But I kissed her little sister,
I forgot my Clementine. -- Chor.



If I at some point in my life knew what you just taught me, I had blocked it out because that is farked up.



/*goes to eat a small orange and watch Reno 911 and tries to bring back some goodness back to the name Clementine*
 
2012-04-19 09:45:23 PM
JUMP!
 
2012-04-19 09:49:53 PM
The Beatles "Ticket to Ride" has always struck me as a sad song. Dude is getting his ass dumped

She said that living with me
Was bringing her down yeah.
She would never be free
When I was around.
 
2012-04-19 09:56:09 PM
Detachable Penis - King Missile.

I mean come on. He lost his dill!, found it for sale on the street. ON THE STREET!
 
2012-04-19 09:59:14 PM

Six_By_Nine: Have we forgotten about Elton John's "Daniel"...anybody?

//I still cry when I hear that song.


vincentknight.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-04-19 10:03:43 PM
Late to the party. Here is a good depressing song.

Link
 
2012-04-19 10:30:12 PM
Bobby Darin's "Artificial Flowers". First time I heard it was at a Karoke night. I couldn't believe the lyrics. WTF?
 
2012-04-19 10:32:57 PM

T-Servo: Angry Buddha: Went to a wedding reception in the late 90s and the bride and groom's first dance was to Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. They were not being cute or ironic.

That's classy. Did they dance through motions of sliding into third?


While it will not be our first dance song but it will end up being played if my girlfriend and I marry. We do a great karaoke to it . I guess you could say we do it somewhat ironically. We are both older and have been thru divorces. We have fun with it. While she's doing the "do you love me" part shegets in my face while I roll my eyes and look bored and when I do the "let me sleep on it" part she does a little head shaking thing while I try to cuddle up to her.
 
2012-04-19 10:50:59 PM

Pappas: Should have been number one. It astounds me how many people think it's a happy song. It's pretty much about soul crushing depression and loneliness.


The sound of the song alone is enough to make me want to kill people.
 
2012-04-19 10:54:40 PM

OldManDownDRoad: theorellior: Now that I've read the article, there are a few more songs by Steely Dan that are more creepy and a farkton less obscure than "Everyone's Gone to the Movies".

Just for funsies, "King of the World" is a post-apocalyptic fantasy, "Peg" is about a porn fanboi, and "Josie" is about a gang-bang.

But nothing beats "Gaucho" - a rich old man invites a boy toy up to his apartment only to have him arrive with a rent boy from Rio.


"Everyone's Gone to the Movies" is pretty good, though.
 
2012-04-19 11:12:00 PM
CSB: I used to DJ in college for some bars, did occasional weddings: I had this conversation with one bride when arranging the music for her reception

Me: So, Father-Daughter dance will be...

Bride: Well, he's my stepdad, so how about Father Figure

Me: Are you sure you want that? You might want to read the lyrics

Bride: The title is what's important to me.

Me: Shelly, seriously know the lyrics. You're going to be dancing in the middle of the dance floor with all eyes on you and people hearing the music/ I really suggest reading the lyrics before deciding on this.

Bride: It's MY Wedding..you play what I tell you.

Me: Oh Kayyyyyyyy....So...First Dance?

Bride: Every Breath you take! It's sooo romantic.

Me: Uh..if stalking is romantic.

I couldn't believe someone, 10 years after the freakin song was released, STILL didn't know what the hell it was about!
 
2012-04-19 11:20:26 PM
I can't believe not one farker jumped on I am a rock. I'm closing out to umbuto and listing it to it now.

Stupid farkers.
 
2012-04-19 11:47:06 PM
Bananarama - Robert de Niro's waiting (rape)
The Kinks - Come Dancing (losing things from your past)
Pat Benatar - Hit me with your best shot (domestic violence)
Queen - '39 (losing everyone you've ever knew)
Sweet - Fox on the run (bloodsport)
 
2012-04-20 12:11:26 AM
I've despised "You can call me Al" from the first time I heard it, despite being a Paul Simon fan in general.
 
2012-04-20 12:13:03 AM
I'm walkin' on sunshine! Oh - oh, I'm walking on sunshine, yeah! And melanoma doesn't feel good! Hey! Alright now!
 
2012-04-20 12:15:57 AM
No "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park"?
 
2012-04-20 12:24:50 AM
My son, who I obtained when he was thirteen visa vis marrying his dad (egg donor is a nut - I am mom) was just discovering music and is fascinated by the big box of cassettes I have. I refuse to dispose of them until I have their equivalent on disc or some other electronic media. At about 15, when he was getting cute and getting attention from girls, he heard "One Way or Another" by Blondie and dug it. I think he thought it was a poppy, "I have a crush on you and will try to have you!" type of thing until I explained to him it was about a psycho stalker chick, and said "listen to the lyrics". His eyes got wide. He still likes the song (and I've burned the album from tape to .mp3 for him) and had the misfortune to "get it" when some sad little girl obsessed on him his junior year in HS.

I'm a hell of a cool stepmom for more reasons than turning him on to music.
 
2012-04-20 12:27:39 AM
Zevon doesn't make this list as he had one "popular" cut.

But if I'm going to polka it's going to be dancing to Mr. Bad Example.
 
2012-04-20 12:43:22 AM

2wolves: But if I'm going to polka it's going to be dancing to Mr. Bad Example.


I take your Mr. Bad Example and raise you with Mr. Wrong.
 
2012-04-20 02:06:18 AM
No Nice Boys?

Link
 
2012-04-20 03:30:59 AM

BohemianGraham: FirstNationalBastard: Yeah, and Cuddly Toy, by the Monkees, is really about a gang bang. What's yer point?

Can't forget Last Train to Clarksville, which is about a GI going off to 'Nam. Also Randy Scouse Git is pretty negative in the chorus, Not Your Stepping Stone is basically about a guy fed up with a chick using him for personal gain. There's also these pretty upbeat songs by the Monkees:

Going Down:
Sock it to me...

Floatin' down the river
With a saturated liver
And I wish I could forgive her
But I do believe she meant it
When she told me to forget it
And I bet she will regret it
When they find me in the morning wet and drowned
And the word gets 'round
Goin' down
Goin' down

Coming' up for air
It's pretty stuffy under there
I'd like to say I didn't care
But I forgot to leave a note
And it's so hard to stay afloat
I'm soakin' wet without a boat
And I knew I should have taken off my shoes
It's front page news
Goin' down
Goin' down

I wish I had another drink
It wouldn't be so hard to sink
I should have taken time to think
Besides I got the picture straight
She must have had another date
I didn't need this extra weight
I wish that I could see the way to shore
Don't want no more
Goin' down
I'm goin' down

And now I see the life I led
I slept it all away in bed
I should have learned to swim instead
And now it's really got me stumped
I can't believe why I jumped
I'd like to get my tummy pumped
I can't believe they drink this stuff in town
This dirty brown
Goin' down

Goin' down

I wish I looked before I leaped
I didn't know it was so deep
Been down so far I don't get wet
Haven't touched the bottom yet
This river scene is gettin' old
I'm hungry, sleepy, wet and cold
She told me to forget it nice
I should have taken her advice
I only want to go on home
I'd gladly leave that girl alone
What a way to spend the night
If I don't drown, I'll die of fright
My pappy taught me how to float
But I can't swim a single note
He threw me in to teach me how
I stayed there floatin' like a mama cow
And now I've floated way down stream
I know this has to be a dream
If I could find my way to shore
I'd never, never do this anymore
I'll give you three, I've been down nine
I'm goin' down just one more time.
Goin' down.
Goin' down.

Now the sky is gettin' light
An everything will be alright
Think I finally got the knack
Just floatin' here lazy on my back
I never really liked that town
I think I'll ride the river down
Just movin' slow and floatin' free
There's a river swingin' under me.
Waving back to the folks on shore
I should have thought of this before
I'm floatin' on down to New Orleans
Goin' to pick up on some swingin' scenes
I know I'll know a better day
I'll go down groovin' all the way
Goin' down
Goin' down

Mommy and Daddy:
Ask your mommy and daddy
What happened to the Indian
Ask your mommy and daddy
To tell you where you really came from
Your mommy and daddy
Will probably quickly turn and walk away
Then ask your mommy and daddy
Who really killed JFK

Ask your mommy if she really
Gets off on all her pills
Ask your daddy why doesn't
That soldier care who he kills?
After they've put you to sleep
And tucked you safely down in your bed
Whisper mommy and daddy
Would it matter if the bullet went through my head?

If it was my blood spilling on the kitchen floor,
If it was my blood, mommy, would you care a little more?
Don't be surprised when they turn and start to cry
And tell your mommy and daddy
Tell your mommy and daddy
Scream it to your mommy and daddy,
They're living in a lie, lie, lie
It's all a lie, it's all a lie, lie, lie...

Long Title: Do I Have To Do This All Over Again?:
Do I have to do this all over again?
Didn't I do it right the first time?
Do I have to do this all over again?
How many times do I have to make this climb?
Didn't I? Didn't I?

Can I see my way to know what's really real
They say time can fix things by itself
I know life's more than just some kind of deal
Won't you tell me what all, when my soul comes off the shelf
Didn't I, oh, didn't I?

Do I have to do this all over again?
Didn't I do it right the first time?
Do I have to do this all over again?
How many times do I have to make this climb?
Didn't I?...

Star Collector:
Think I'll let her keep on going,
Wherever it is she's going to,
Give her my autograph and tell her,
It's been nice knowing you.

Cause she's the star collector,
Collector of stars,
She only aims to please,
Young celebrities,
Yeah, she's the star collector,
Collector of stars,
How can I love her,
When I just don't respect her?

When everything is going my way,
She wants to be close at hand,
She moves to some other doorway,
When things don't go,
The way she planned.

Yes, she's the star collector,
Collector of stars,
She only aims to please,
Young celebrities,
Yeah, she's the star collector,
Collector of stars,
Oh, it won't take much time,
Before I get her off my mind.


You forgot Porpoise Song

/Loves the album HEAD
/Good choices tho
 
2012-04-20 05:30:34 AM

SFSailor: But mostly, I wanted to biatch: Am I the only one annoyed by the fact that youtube links don't reveal anything about the video? Having to click through to see what song is mentioned is annoying, dammit!


Threads like this entirely justify having GreaseMonkey just so you can have YouTube Link Title so you don't have to click the link of every idjit who thinks he's cool by not naming the song and artist when he links it.
 
2012-04-20 06:28:36 AM

deltaqueen: You forgot Porpoise Song

/Loves the album HEAD
/Good choices tho


Porpoise Song has never seemed upbeat to me, to be honest. It's always sounded like a downer of a song, but in a good way. It's essentially the Monkees' suicide note. :) It's much like the slowed down version of I Wanna Be Free, which is farking depressing

The Monkees had a ton of catchy upbeat songs, that were actually kinda depressing and/or angry. I've thought of a few more:

She
This Just Doesn't Seem to be My Day (it's a Davy Jones pop number)
I Wanna Be Free (the first recording, before they made it into the dreary Davy Jones pop ballad)
Laugh
You Told Me
Forget that Girl
No Time
All of Your Toys
She Hangs Out (hello, the first line is 'How old you'd say your sister was?" and the whole song's about this underage chick hanging out at clubs picking up men, and that's she's far better at it than the older sister)
Love is Only Sleeping
Words
What am I Doing Hanging 'Round?
I'll Be Back Up on My Feet
Daydream Believer (it's after they've broken up in my mind)
Circle Sky
Pleasant Valley Sunday (suburbia farking sucks)

Sunny Girlfriend is cloying until you listen to the last verse:

She owns and operates
Her own sunshine factory
Of painting smiles on dolls
And then on me
She's my sunny girlfriend
And personality.

Well, she's got a book
That tells about ev'rybody's past
And she can make you slow
While making your mind move fast
She's my sunny girlfriend
And she is never last.

Oh, while I am sleeping
Then she comes creeping
Into my thoughts at night
Gazing down through eyes
As bright as wonder.

She can send you on your way
To ev'rywhere
She's only started
After you think that she is there.
Well, she's my sunny girlfriend,
And she just doesn't care.
Yes, she's my sunny girlfriend,
She doesn't really care.


Mike Nesmith's girlfriend is a girl who doesn't even know he's alive or gives a shiat about him.

I think I've listed them all now.
 
2012-04-20 07:45:50 AM
Well, shiat. Just about anything from Steely Dan would make this list.
 
2012-04-20 08:02:39 AM

daverzzz: Crewmannumber6: Here's a catchy little ditty about a school shooting
Link

And it's so catchy a friend of a friend walked in to their wedding reception to that tune. I turned to my wife and asked her if they had ever listened to the lyrics.

/csb


At my wife's cousin's wedding, the DJ played "Earl Had to Die" (or whatever it's called) by The Dixie Chicks. For those who don't know, it's a song about a small-town girl who stayed small-town, and whose abusive husband killed her, and her friends decided to kill him. The only reason I even had heard it before was because I had heard it accidentally at work on a co-worker's radio.
 
2012-04-20 08:47:36 AM
Next week on Cracked, the top 5 Morrissey songs that you didn't know were actually cheerful.
 
2012-04-20 08:51:19 AM
Here's a song everyone thinks is happy but once you get past the chorus it is really quite depressing and pathetic:

You Are My Sunshine (yes, that old song)

[Chorus]
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.

[Chorus]

I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:

[Chorus]

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But now you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:

[Chorus]

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.
 
2012-04-20 09:07:03 AM

Mr. Lepage: I respectably disagree.


LOL.
 
2012-04-20 09:20:33 AM

beerrun: So Squeezebox isn't really about an accordion?

The hell you say!


I'll just leave this here.
 
2012-04-20 10:00:59 AM

freetomato: 2wolves: But if I'm going to polka it's going to be dancing to Mr. Bad Example.

I take your Mr. Bad Example and raise you with Mr. Wrong.


Cracker, and Camper Van, also probably doesn't qualify as "popular."
 
2012-04-20 10:11:00 AM
Anyone else find it odd that the guy singing the clearly anti-drug warning of "doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break" on "Semi-Charmed Life" has his hand over his mouth when singing that line?
 
2012-04-20 10:42:40 AM
Richard Thompson's "Shane And Dixie" is an upbeat little ditty about a criminal who tries to murder his woman and sticks a shotgun in his mouth.
 
2012-04-20 11:24:35 AM
Tyler by the Toadies is pretty upbeat and about stalker. Love that song though.
 
2012-04-20 11:31:50 AM
theorellior

I don't know if there are purists here who think that the latter two Dan albums are canon or not, but "Janie Runaway" is by far the sickest upbeat Dan song ever. Start with a young girl who runs away from an abusive father in Florida by burning down their house. Add a rich dilettante who picks her off the streets of New York, plies her with booze and rich food and uses her as a cum dumpster. Finally, send them off to a rural lovenest in Pennsylvania for a threesome with another starving waif, on the promise that he'll take her to Spain for her birthday.

Wow... I am a big fan of the Dan (and I really dig the 2 newer albums, too.) and I never knew that. Those guys have an awesomely devious way of obscuring the true meaning of their lyrics. Fantastic songwriters & impeccable musicians, they are.
 
2012-04-20 11:35:02 AM
Smoke from a Distant Fire. Super upbeat sound with great saxophone about a guy figuring out that his woman is cheating on him.

Link
 
2012-04-20 12:35:34 PM
The Misfits - Saturday Night http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82oSu6gIvms
 
2012-04-20 01:00:22 PM

OldManDownDRoad: Don't forget John Lennon's "fark you" to the hippies.


I find Strawberry Fields Forever kind of depressing: being a reform school and all
 
2012-04-20 01:06:03 PM
"Hotel California" The Eagles should of been on the list as well. It's kind of happy but the message isn't.
 
2012-04-20 01:34:37 PM

Close2TheEdge: Well, shiat. Just about anything from Steely Dan would make this list.


Yep, Chase The Dragon is a great song with a great hook until you realise it's about heroin addiction.

I always wanted to do an experiment with the Blues Traveller song Hook. Poll people and ask them what the song is about, then play it for them and see how many people realise the song is saying 'It doesn't matter what the lyrics are, no one's listening, as long as it has a catchy hook'.
 
2012-04-20 01:36:43 PM
Sorry, That Steely Dan song is 'Time Out Of Mind'
 
2012-04-20 04:01:29 PM
 
2012-04-20 04:01:51 PM

TonnageVT: Tyler by the Toadies is pretty upbeat and about stalker. Love that song though.


Totally, and don't forget the super-happy-fun rape at the end either.

'I found a window in the kitchen, and I let myself in" is the tipping point for that song. Take that out, and it could be relatively benign.
 
2012-04-20 04:10:56 PM

TonnageVT: Tyler by the Toadies is pretty upbeat and about stalker. Love that song though.


More than a stalker in Tyler......agreed

I find a window in the kitchen, and I let myself in.
Rummage through the refridgerator, grab myself a beer.
I can't believe I'm really here, and she's lying in that bed.
I can almost feel her touch and her anxious breath.
I stumble down the hallway, outside her bedroom door
I hear her call out to me
I hear the fear in her voice
She pulls the covers tighter
I press against the door
I will be with her tonight.

Possum Kingdom may be their "hit" but their fans wanna hear Tyler.
 
2012-04-20 04:16:19 PM

Pontious Pilates: "One" by U2 is a farking depressing song about dysfunction and codependence. And dipshiatty dipshiats actually play that song at weddings.

The lyric is "WE GET to carry each other" not "WE'VE GOT to carry each other."


Good Lord. People think that's a love song?

did I ask too much, more than a lot?
You give me nothing, now it's, all I got
We're one, but we're, not the same
We hurt each other, and we do it again

Hell it even opens depressing.
 
2012-04-20 05:34:58 PM
If you think 3EB's 'Semi-Charmed Life' is depressing, check out 'God Of Wine' from the same album.
 
2012-04-20 06:35:48 PM
Disappointed to not see Today by the Smashing Pumpkins on that list. It was even used in the Visa commercial as a motivational song for their "GO" campaign despite the song being about suicide. Bah.
 
2012-04-21 04:12:59 PM
Sick Of You - Cake
Link
 
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