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(Cracked)   "You Can Call Me Al" may sound upbeat, but it's included in the 6 Popular Upbeat Songs You Didn't Realize Are Depressing   (cracked.com) divider line 246
    More: Interesting, OutKast, Lucy Liu, Hey Ya, Hey, polaroid, attention spans, upbeat, Paul Simon  
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16230 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Apr 2012 at 1:06 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-19 01:03:02 PM  
Yeah, and Cuddly Toy, by the Monkees, is really about a gang bang. What's yer point?
 
2012-04-19 01:10:38 PM  
It's Raining Men is about a bukkake-bang.
 
2012-04-19 01:10:54 PM  
Here's a catchy little ditty about a school shooting
Link
 
2012-04-19 01:11:03 PM  
Little red corvette.
Alley oop
 
2012-04-19 01:12:58 PM  
Every Breath You Take - a song about possession and obsession.
 
2012-04-19 01:14:47 PM  

MatrixOutsider: Every Breath You Take - a song about possession and obsession.


I love it when broads think that song is romantic... helps you know which ones are the crazy ones.
 
2012-04-19 01:14:52 PM  
OH MY GOD NO TIME TO TURNNNNNN

 
2012-04-19 01:15:59 PM  
No "Excitable Boy"?
 
kab
2012-04-19 01:16:45 PM  
I can tell you why Jump is secretly depressing... because it's a shiatty tune.

List really should include a song about being robbed on Christmas eve, tracking down the thief, shooting him, dumping the body in the river, and making it home in time for your kids to open their presents, with nary a regret. (new window)

/one of the best bands you've never heard of.
 
2012-04-19 01:16:46 PM  

FistingMidgets: No "Excitable Boy"?


No, that one is pretty self evident.

/read the headline again
 
2012-04-19 01:16:55 PM  
I always that this one would make it on a list like that.
 
2012-04-19 01:19:06 PM  
Read for Third Eye Blind, was included, am happy.. or not. These songs are so confusing.
 
2012-04-19 01:21:23 PM  
Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk...
(yeah, right.)
 
2012-04-19 01:22:31 PM  
How about when they jazzed and sped up 'Suicide is Painless' the last few years of M*A*S*H.
 
2012-04-19 01:23:21 PM  
So Squeezebox isn't really about an accordion?

The hell you say!
 
2012-04-19 01:24:12 PM  

kab: I can tell you why Jump is secretly depressing... because it's a shiatty tune.


Is it ever. In my all-time top ten worst.
 
2012-04-19 01:25:45 PM  
Hmm, this one too. It's as if music can be used to convey a meaning opposite its literal meaning, and perhaps used this way often.
 
2012-04-19 01:26:16 PM  

Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk


Yeah, guy's in a boring marriage so he gets drunk, goes to his old place, breaks in and trashes the joint while mourning his past love (which, incidentally, included a few "broken bones").

Sounds just peachy to me.

Anyway, FTFA: Steely Dan gets a lot of flack

No, Steely Dan gets flak. I'm sure they have flacks on the payroll, but when critics fart in their general direction, it's flak.
 
2012-04-19 01:26:33 PM  

Pinchfist: I always that this one would make it on a list like that.


I think the dark side of that one is too obvious; the style focuses on clear and intelligible lyrics.

So it's less of a "I've heard this 6000 times, and have no idea what he's talking about" and more of just a "musical tone doesn't match lyrics".
 
2012-04-19 01:28:39 PM  

Cisco-Kid: Bare Naked Ladies "The Old Apartment" is about a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend.

Punched a hole in the wall.
Ripped the phone out of the wall.
Why did you change the locks? Why did I have to break in? I only came here to talk...
(yeah, right.)


Uhm, it's been a long time since I listened to that song, but I think you're wrong. Aren't they both going back to the apartment they used to live in and reminising?
 
2012-04-19 01:29:18 PM  
I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."
 
2012-04-19 01:29:36 PM  

Abner Doon: Pinchfist: I always that this one would make it on a list like that.

I think the dark side of that one is too obvious; the style focuses on clear and intelligible lyrics.

So it's less of a "I've heard this 6000 times, and have no idea what he's talking about" and more of just a "musical tone doesn't match lyrics".


Yeah, that's a good point.
 
2012-04-19 01:30:24 PM  
When I get home from work, wanna wrap myself around you
Wanna take you and squeeze ya' till the passion starts to rise
*sniff* I wanna take you to Heaven
That would make my day complete
 
2012-04-19 01:30:38 PM  
I want to see a list of sad sounding songs that are really about happy things.
 
2012-04-19 01:32:08 PM  
They forgot Elton John's "Think I'm Gonna Kill Myself."
 
2012-04-19 01:33:07 PM  

Pinchfist: I always that this one would make it on a list like that.


I sometimes too.
 
2012-04-19 01:33:11 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Here's a catchy little ditty about a school shooting
Link


I already know who you're talking about, I don't need that in my head all day. Check out this live set, and all the hot chicks in the audience. I know it's so cliche, but I bet is sucks to have all that poon tossed their way.
Link
 
2012-04-19 01:35:13 PM  
I knew damn well that "You Can Call Me Al" was depressing after a Mongolian graduate student named "Lidscha" wasted ten minutes of class time ranting about how this guy ducked down an alley with a roly-poly little fat-faced girl. He had kind of a thick accent and most of us had a hard time following him under the best of circumstances, so it wasn't until about five minutes into it that I realized that he was quoting Paul Simon.

/csb
//three years pursuing a PhD in public administration before I finally snapped and said "sweet jesus, hell would be better than this" and ran screaming out of the building, never to return
 
2012-04-19 01:36:28 PM  
This is going back a ways, but I always thought it was bizarre that "Mack The Knife" was turned into a peppy jazzy upbeat feelgood kinda number when it was all about a murdering rapist.
 
2012-04-19 01:36:31 PM  

movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."


This times eleventy!

/Love the song, but they lyrics...MAAANNNNN!!!!!
 
2012-04-19 01:37:12 PM  
Pretty much any Bowie you would consider upbeat too.

ATB needs to go back to wrinting about motels and get the hell away from Gladstone.
 
2012-04-19 01:37:14 PM  
Huh. I always thought "You Can Call Me Al" was sort of an uplifting song, about a man who takes a look at his life, finds he's lost his way, and then realizes what's really important.
 
2012-04-19 01:40:49 PM  

movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."


I don't think anyone ever thought "Pumped Up Kicks" was anything but dark. The freaking chorus is about needing to outrun bullets and is really, really easy to understand and clear.
 
2012-04-19 01:45:28 PM  

space_cowgirl: Huh. I always thought "You Can Call Me Al" was sort of an uplifting song, about a man who takes a look at his life, finds he's lost his way, and then realizes what's really important.


So it's not about Chevy Chase?
 
2012-04-19 01:47:02 PM  

Neeek: movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."

I don't think anyone ever thought "Pumped Up Kicks" was anything but dark. The freaking chorus is about needing to outrun bullets and is really, really easy to understand and clear.


Dark, yes. But, it is upbeat and so help me, play that in a bar, club or party and you'll see people dancing to it. Hooray murder!!
 
2012-04-19 01:49:12 PM  

Neeek: movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."

I don't think anyone ever thought "Pumped Up Kicks" was anything but dark. The freaking chorus is about needing to outrun bullets and is really, really easy to understand and clear.


You really underestimate the stupidity of club kids.
 
2012-04-19 01:50:23 PM  

MagSeven: Neeek: movieman_1979: I wasn't able to see the second part of this list. But, if it wasn't included, the list fails without "Pumped Up Kicks."

I don't think anyone ever thought "Pumped Up Kicks" was anything but dark. The freaking chorus is about needing to outrun bullets and is really, really easy to understand and clear.

You really underestimate the stupidity of club kids.


This is possible. I avoid them like the plague.
 
2012-04-19 01:52:17 PM  
Yet, the pulp song "Common People" can truly attest what it is to be a hipster.

/Acting poor,is cool yo
 
2012-04-19 01:53:38 PM  

MagSeven: You really underestimate the stupidity of club kids.


Yeah how dare kids dance to a good song without constantly contemplating what every lyric means.
 
2012-04-19 01:56:03 PM  
There is no hidden meaning but it seems a rather upbeat for a song about a 9 year old orphan freezing to death.
 
2012-04-19 01:56:31 PM  
"You can call me Al" is not a depressing song.

It describes an arc of personal growth that begins with a central character who is lost faith in himself and his heroes, and ends with him finally getting over himself and his own self-centeredness by seeing the people around him and realizing that his midlife crisis introspection is interfering with his ability to enjoy life.

The author of the article says, "It ends with him shouting "hallelujah!" but, for the life of me, I have no idea why."

Just a suggestion here, but if you can't understand why the song ends on a positive note, maybe you should refrain from including in your list of depressing songs.
 
2012-04-19 01:57:29 PM  

propasaurus: This is going back a ways, but I always thought it was bizarre that "Mack The Knife" was turned into a peppy jazzy upbeat feelgood kinda number when it was all about a murdering rapist.


Like when McDonald's had the "Mac Tonight" ad campaign?
/listening to Threepenny Opera
 
2012-04-19 01:57:59 PM  

vudukungfu: Little red corvette.
Alley oop


I always thought "Little red Corvette" was a euphemism for her clitoris

Also, Elvis Costello's "Veronica" is an upbeat, depressing song.
 
2012-04-19 01:58:39 PM  
"Her name was Veronica."
 
2012-04-19 01:58:43 PM  

bel4sucks: MagSeven: You really underestimate the stupidity of club kids.

Yeah how dare kids dance to a good song without constantly contemplating what every lyric means.


Nothing wrong with that. I do find it funny however when girls run to the dance floor when Crazy Biatch by Buckcherry or Figured you out by Nickelback comes on. I think "have you ever really listened to what they are saying?"
 
2012-04-19 01:58:51 PM  
These?

Link

Link
 
2012-04-19 02:01:53 PM  
My name is Luka, I live on the second floor?
 
2012-04-19 02:02:29 PM  
How the hell did the author miss this obvious one?
 
2012-04-19 02:04:25 PM  
A fun little ditty about a woman dying alone in her apartment and being eaten by her dogs. YAY!

Link
 
2012-04-19 02:06:13 PM  
Don't forget John Lennon's "fark you" to the hippies.
 
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