Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Attention single guys with pets: Be afraid, be very very afraid   (shine.yahoo.com) divider line 310
    More: PSA, hummingbird feeder, Ottawa, Canada, Naperville, Tuffy  
•       •       •

27128 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2012 at 1:27 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



310 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-19 01:55:06 AM  

Mini Ditka: I have a cat and guinea pigs, and a teenage daughter that takes care of them all.


You know what kind of woman that attracts?

/none woman....


...Rick ?
 
2012-04-19 01:55:36 AM  
I have two lions as pets. I need to dress in the same clothes every day when I walk into my house or else they'll eat me.
 
2012-04-19 01:57:24 AM  
As a happy divorced male, I can tell the writer there are many things in this world I view as more important than a woman I'm dating. My job matters more. My son matters a great deal more, and I guess you can add my dog to the list.

She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.

Of course, the pet thing is an issue. Couple weeks back a had a female friend over for the first time. She was in the bedroom while I mixed some nightcaps. I returned to find her curled up in the corner crying, in stark terror of my dog who had come up to greet her. My dogs the sweetest animal you can imagine. She hasn't been over since.
 
2012-04-19 01:57:35 AM  
What a stupid-ass article
 
2012-04-19 01:58:05 AM  
I'm afraid to ask what it means if you have miniature horses.

Oh wait, the author is an idiot, so it doesn't matter.
 
2012-04-19 01:58:07 AM  
oi44.tinypic.com

It says "my house is covered in fur"
 
2012-04-19 01:58:14 AM  
Ever have an Akita/Husky lick you on the eyeball? not the most fun sensation in the world lol
 
2012-04-19 01:59:36 AM  

Philbb: Mentat: A ferret's not a rodent, you moron.

A ferret is an antisocial elongated rodent with poor impulse control and a stench that even a cat lady would call horrific.


FERRETS ARE NOT RODENTS. (link to Wikipedia article)
 
2012-04-19 02:00:35 AM  
www.conspirazzi.com


Approves of TFA....
 
2012-04-19 02:01:41 AM  
so the writer of the article likes to fark dogs?

but fish are weird and unusual?

*confused*
 
2012-04-19 02:01:56 AM  

mr smart the great: very epic butt


indeed.

mr smart the great: what about some dolphins that come to you when you go spear fishing every saterday?


Stop giving them heroin, that's cruel.
 
2012-04-19 02:01:59 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I had two goldfish which my son won at the summer festival here in Japan. They lived for about three years and were fairly large, as far as small goldfish go. Beautiful fins. Henry was a very deep orange and Red was orange and white.

Last year, while on a business trip, my wife cleaned their tank and changed the water. Two or three days later, both fish were dead.

It was very sad. They would have been four years old this summer.


I've seen Finding Nemo and I grieve with you and your family.
 
2012-04-19 02:02:23 AM  

AustinFakir: What if I have a cat I inherited from a previous relationship? My girlfriend and I got a cat together. When we broke up, she took her dog, I took the cat. Does managing to keep the cat alive for a few years make me "sensitive?" I mean, I'm not going to kill it. I feed it and take it to the vet. I think that makes me "not a sociopath," not "sensitive."


Sorry, you are pretty much a homo now.
 
2012-04-19 02:03:18 AM  
millions of people have pets because those little ones needed homes. i pity the author for not knowing a single one of them.
 
2012-04-19 02:03:19 AM  

gbob23: She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.


Really?

I still want to meet someone that could be the centre of my world. The centre is most definitely not allowed to eclipse everything else, friends, family, pets, all of these things are important. But I'd like them/the relationship to be the centre, nonetheless.

But then I guess I don't have kids.
 
2012-04-19 02:05:24 AM  
God damn it modmins, stop greening this clickbait linkfarm bullshiat. If it's not actually pulled right out of the archives or copied from another site, it's written by bored college students or housewives for four cents a word and (if they're lucky) another ten cents every ten thousand visitors. This is no better than a domain parking page. Stop encouraging the spamming of the internet.

I'd prefer a Cracked link to this, at least they're honest about existing only to drive clicks by amusing you.
 
2012-04-19 02:05:39 AM  
That was retarded.
 
2012-04-19 02:06:02 AM  

gbob23: As a happy divorced male, I can tell the writer there are many things in this world I view as more important than a woman I'm dating. My job matters more. My son matters a great deal more, and I guess you can add my dog to the list.

She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.

Of course, the pet thing is an issue. Couple weeks back a had a female friend over for the first time. She was in the bedroom while I mixed some nightcaps. I returned to find her curled up in the corner crying, in stark terror of my dog who had come up to greet her. My dogs the sweetest animal you can imagine. She hasn't been over since.


You sound like a real sensitive guy.
 
2012-04-19 02:06:34 AM  
stephjimpie:

Hmmm... This is a strange one. All I can say is that I could never date a guy who let his dog into bed with him. Or let the dog lick him in the mouth. Both of these are gross and a major turn off. And a deal breaker as far as I see it

In one short paragraph you've shown yourself to be too bossy, insecure and petty to deserve even getting your foot pissed on.
 
2012-04-19 02:07:52 AM  
That was one of the stupidest things I've ever read in fark
 
2012-04-19 02:09:16 AM  

KrispyKritter: millions of people have pets because those little ones needed homes. i pity the author for not knowing a single one of them.


We took my MIL's dog in when she died. If Mr.S. had her when we met it would have been a different story altogether. She was the dog from hell for quite awhile.
Yes, I stereotype people with this type of dog and look what happened.
 
2012-04-19 02:10:21 AM  

gbob23: As a happy divorced male, I can tell the writer there are many things in this world I view as more important than a woman I'm dating. My job matters more. My son matters a great deal more, and I guess you can add my dog to the list.

She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.

Of course, the pet thing is an issue. Couple weeks back a had a female friend over for the first time. She was in the bedroom while I mixed some nightcaps. I returned to find her curled up in the corner crying, in stark terror of my dog who had come up to greet her. My dogs the sweetest animal you can imagine. She hasn't been over since.


I don't see why someone who only just had a girl over only a couple weeks back is giving romance advice.
 
2012-04-19 02:11:06 AM  

Yaxe: When someone cries, "It's me or the (pet)!", that really says something about absolute insanity of whomever this hypothetical person is dating. Look at this way: They're asking you whether or not you love them enough to abandon the loyalty and casual friendship of a pet (like a dog or something), and if that don't make your crazy meter go full Geiger-Counter-in-Chernobyl, then you deserve it.


When my dad was dating when I was a kid he had a girlfriend claim "It's me or the kid". He drove her to the airport and left her right then.
 
2012-04-19 02:11:21 AM  

Smackledorfer: gbob23: As a happy divorced male, I can tell the writer there are many things in this world I view as more important than a woman I'm dating. My job matters more. My son matters a great deal more, and I guess you can add my dog to the list.

She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.

Of course, the pet thing is an issue. Couple weeks back a had a female friend over for the first time. She was in the bedroom while I mixed some nightcaps. I returned to find her curled up in the corner crying, in stark terror of my dog who had come up to greet her. My dogs the sweetest animal you can imagine. She hasn't been over since.

I don't see why someone who only just had a girl over only a couple weeks back is giving romance advice.


She's never returned. Heh.
 
HBK
2012-04-19 02:11:31 AM  

fusillade762: just loves to send you photos of his cat all day long and post them on Facebook and Twitter. I'm not sure why this is, but guys with cats are prone to such things.

I'm a cat guy and I have NEVER done these things. What a stupid article.

Even dumber is this link at the bottom:

7 Sex Positions Men Love

And here I thought we loved all of them.


I clicked on it. What a load of crap. It should be called "7 Positions Women Think Men Love"
 
2012-04-19 02:11:52 AM  

Smackledorfer: gbob23: As a happy divorced male, I can tell the writer there are many things in this world I view as more important than a woman I'm dating. My job matters more. My son matters a great deal more, and I guess you can add my dog to the list.

She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.

Of course, the pet thing is an issue. Couple weeks back a had a female friend over for the first time. She was in the bedroom while I mixed some nightcaps. I returned to find her curled up in the corner crying, in stark terror of my dog who had come up to greet her. My dogs the sweetest animal you can imagine. She hasn't been over since.

I don't see why someone who only just had a girl over only a couple weeks back is giving romance advice.


Say what, now?
 
2012-04-19 02:12:37 AM  

Gothnet: gbob23: She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.

Really?

I still want to meet someone that could be the centre of my world. The centre is most definitely not allowed to eclipse everything else, friends, family, pets, all of these things are important. But I'd like them/the relationship to be the centre, nonetheless.

But then I guess I don't have kids.


Well, seems to me that when you're a single adult, you've made a life for yourself. It's part of who you are. When I meet someone, I like them for who they are as a person, and that's defined in part by the life they lead.

I guess I've learned that even if you can change folks, you probably shouldn't. I don't expect my girlfriends to change for me, and I'm not going to go changing for them.

Now, if another marriage or child happens, that's a bit different. There are some compromises to be made.

But people getting obsessive about each other is far less romantic when you're over thirty...hell, it's downright creepy and off-putting.
 
2012-04-19 02:13:06 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Mini Ditka: I have a cat and guinea pigs, and a teenage daughter that takes care of them all.


You know what kind of woman that attracts?

/none woman....

...Rick ?


Not literally.
In a way, all of us has a Rick to face. For some, shyness might be their Rick. For others, a lack of education might be their Rick.....
 
2012-04-19 02:13:34 AM  

AustinFakir: What if I have a cat I inherited from a previous relationship? My girlfriend and I got a cat together. When we broke up, she took her dog, I took the cat. Does managing to keep the cat alive for a few years make me "sensitive?" I mean, I'm not going to kill it. I feed it and take it to the vet. I think that makes me "not a sociopath," not "sensitive."



Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. The cat knew damn well who to trust the most, and the dog knew who the boss was in the house.

I'd say you got the better deal.
 
2012-04-19 02:14:03 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Smackledorfer: gbob23: As a happy divorced male, I can tell the writer there are many things in this world I view as more important than a woman I'm dating. My job matters more. My son matters a great deal more, and I guess you can add my dog to the list.

She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.

Of course, the pet thing is an issue. Couple weeks back a had a female friend over for the first time. She was in the bedroom while I mixed some nightcaps. I returned to find her curled up in the corner crying, in stark terror of my dog who had come up to greet her. My dogs the sweetest animal you can imagine. She hasn't been over since.

I don't see why someone who only just had a girl over only a couple weeks back is giving romance advice.

Say what, now?


The first time he had a female over was a couple weeks ago. He says so himself :)
 
2012-04-19 02:14:42 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

What does one of these say about the owner?
 
2012-04-19 02:14:59 AM  

Mini Ditka: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Mini Ditka: I have a cat and guinea pigs, and a teenage daughter that takes care of them all.


You know what kind of woman that attracts?

/none woman....

...Rick ?

Not literally.
In a way, all of us has a Rick to face. For some, shyness might be their Rick. For others, a lack of education might be their Rick.....


I know a guy named stick with a cat, guinea pigs, and a teenage daughter... Just thought you might be him.
 
2012-04-19 02:15:18 AM  
I knew a dude with a pet iguana. Total whackjob. Still, he was better adjusted than the guy who owned the spider.
 
2012-04-19 02:15:44 AM  
Who boiled this article down to a paying gig? Congrats. No real work done and you got a paycheck
 
HBK
2012-04-19 02:15:46 AM  
I wouldn't even date a girl if she said something bad about my dog. But that would never happen because my dog is awesome.
 
2012-04-19 02:16:01 AM  
"Rodent
Whether it's a mouse, a rat, a hamster or a guinea pig, if he has some sort of furry creature that lives in a cage and he's over the age of 15, you really need to think long and hard about whether you want to continue dating him. Why? Let's be honest, a grown man with a gerbil or the like is just indicative of some dark, and probably quite disturbing issues. Think Richard Gere on this one."


Want to know how I know the author is still having issues over the time a gerbil chewed up his finger when picked it up incorrectly?

Makes me wonder if the whole purpose of this article was a thinly-disguised excuse to say "I HATE RODENTS!".

/Rats & hamsters are cool.
 
2012-04-19 02:16:29 AM  

taurusowner: What does one of these say about the owner?


Furry. Possible pokemane enthusiast.
 
2012-04-19 02:16:31 AM  
www3.whig.com

What does it say about me? It says "it puts the farking lotion in the basket", that's what it says!

Men should not min poodles or bichon frise. Nothing against these dogs, but men should not own them.
 
2012-04-19 02:16:37 AM  

Smackledorfer: gbob23: As a happy divorced male, I can tell the writer there are many things in this world I view as more important than a woman I'm dating. My job matters more. My son matters a great deal more, and I guess you can add my dog to the list.

She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.

Of course, the pet thing is an issue. Couple weeks back a had a female friend over for the first time. She was in the bedroom while I mixed some nightcaps. I returned to find her curled up in the corner crying, in stark terror of my dog who had come up to greet her. My dogs the sweetest animal you can imagine. She hasn't been over since.

I don't see why someone who only just had a girl over only a couple weeks back is giving romance advice.


I think you might want to parse that sentence you misread a bit closer.

It was *her* first time over, not the first female that's been over.

Unless you were being sarcastic. Tough to tell.
 
2012-04-19 02:17:51 AM  
Why did God create yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating coont once in a while too.
 
2012-04-19 02:19:14 AM  
Finally getting a place with a yard so I can get a dog! I'm hopeful the shelter has a golden retriever because I grew up with them as pets, but I could settle for a mutt. Now I just need to figure out a name.
 
2012-04-19 02:19:20 AM  

stephjimpie: Hmmm... This is a strange one. All I can say is that I could never date a guy who let his dog into bed with him. Or let the dog lick him in the mouth. Both of these are gross and a major turn off. And a deal breaker as far as I see it


My cat bumps her nose against my chin, because she likes kisses between her ears.
Sometimes she misses and bumps her nose into my lips.

I use mouthwash.
 
2012-04-19 02:19:22 AM  

gbob23: But people getting obsessive about each other is far less romantic when you're over thirty...hell, it's downright creepy and off-putting.


Oh sure, I'm over 30 now and the idea of fawning over someone like an obsessed teenager that's just had sex for the first time and is convinced this is forever-until-we-die-OMG! is not exactly part of my mental makeup any more. Hells, if I went out with someone that wrote me letters like my GF at 19 did then I'd probably tell her to seek help!

But then other times I wonder about the cynicism....


/will probably become crazy cat man.
 
2012-04-19 02:19:41 AM  

TV's Vinnie: "Rodent
Whether it's a mouse, a rat, a hamster or a guinea pig, if he has some sort of furry creature that lives in a cage and he's over the age of 15, you really need to think long and hard about whether you want to continue dating him. Why? Let's be honest, a grown man with a gerbil or the like is just indicative of some dark, and probably quite disturbing issues. Think Richard Gere on this one."

Want to know how I know the author is still having issues over the time a gerbil chewed up his finger when picked it up incorrectly?

Makes me wonder if the whole purpose of this article was a thinly-disguised excuse to say "I HATE RODENTS!".

/Rats & hamsters are cool.


A long time ago, this kid brought his rat in for show and tell. he didn't have a cage, it just hung out on his shoulder. it would wander off a bit, but he could call it back.
those critters are smart.
 
2012-04-19 02:20:38 AM  

zerkalo: Who boiled this article down to a paying gig? Congrats. No real work done and you got a paycheck


Peddling superficial stereotypes about people and packaging them as common sense will always sell. We crave to put each other in boxes. It makes us feel safe and life seem negotiable.
 
2012-04-19 02:21:24 AM  

fusillade762: just loves to send you photos of his cat all day long and post them on Facebook and Twitter. I'm not sure why this is, but guys with cats are prone to such things.

I'm a cat guy and I have NEVER done these things. What a stupid article.

Even dumber is this link at the bottom:

7 Sex Positions Men Love

And here I thought we loved all of them.


This one confused me too. I have cats and I've never sent pictures of them to anyone. I did put one picture of each one on facebook for a site I was on there, but if you don't actually look for them you'd never find them. Does anyone actually send multiple pictures of their pet to their romantic interest? Genitals I can see, but pets? ;)
 
2012-04-19 02:21:25 AM  

gbob23: Smackledorfer: gbob23: As a happy divorced male, I can tell the writer there are many things in this world I view as more important than a woman I'm dating. My job matters more. My son matters a great deal more, and I guess you can add my dog to the list.

She has kind of a sad and immature view of dating, I'm afraid. When adults date, their partner SHOULDN'T be the center of their world. Hell, if one of my girlfriends told me that I was the center of theirs, I would recommend they seek mental health treatments.

Of course, the pet thing is an issue. Couple weeks back a had a female friend over for the first time. She was in the bedroom while I mixed some nightcaps. I returned to find her curled up in the corner crying, in stark terror of my dog who had come up to greet her. My dogs the sweetest animal you can imagine. She hasn't been over since.

I don't see why someone who only just had a girl over only a couple weeks back is giving romance advice.

I think you might want to parse that sentence you misread a bit closer.

It was *her* first time over, not the first female that's been over.

Unless you were being sarcastic. Tough to tell.


It was a joke, and I'm pretty my joking interpretation is a technically correct one the way you wrote it. Of course, it is two thirty in ths morning.
 
2012-04-19 02:21:54 AM  

Smackledorfer: TV's Vinnie: "Rodent
Whether it's a mouse, a rat, a hamster or a guinea pig, if he has some sort of furry creature that lives in a cage and he's over the age of 15, you really need to think long and hard about whether you want to continue dating him. Why? Let's be honest, a grown man with a gerbil or the like is just indicative of some dark, and probably quite disturbing issues. Think Richard Gere on this one."

Want to know how I know the author is still having issues over the time a gerbil chewed up his finger when picked it up incorrectly?

Makes me wonder if the whole purpose of this article was a thinly-disguised excuse to say "I HATE RODENTS!".

/Rats & hamsters are cool.

A long time ago, this kid brought his rat in for show and tell. he didn't have a cage, it just hung out on his shoulder. it would wander off a bit, but he could call it back.
those critters are smart.


thetorchonline.com

ARE YOU A WIZARD?
 
2012-04-19 02:22:35 AM  

i upped my meds-up yours: zerkalo: Who boiled this article down to a paying gig? Congrats. No real work done and you got a paycheck

Peddling superficial stereotypes about people and packaging them as common sense will always sell. We crave to put each other in boxes. It makes us feel safe and life seem negotiable.


Little boxes? Made of ticky-tacky?
 
2012-04-19 02:23:10 AM  

Smackledorfer: AustinFakir: What if I have a cat I inherited from a previous relationship? My girlfriend and I got a cat together. When we broke up, she took her dog, I took the cat. Does managing to keep the cat alive for a few years make me "sensitive?" I mean, I'm not going to kill it. I feed it and take it to the vet. I think that makes me "not a sociopath," not "sensitive."

Sorry, you are pretty much a homo now.


What if I give the cat away to someone who might possibly neglect it? Is that as good as killing it? I don't want single women to think I am not into them, but I don't want to get on any serial killer watch lists either :-/

Ladies, seriously, I am not not up for actively harm my cat, but maybe if you imagine me harming it that is good enough?
 
Displayed 50 of 310 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report