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(Jalopnik)   I like my women how I like my Chevy Cobalts: Covered in BEEEEEEEEES   (jalopnik.com) divider line 42
    More: Scary, covered in bees, bumblebees, Chevy Cobalt  
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7825 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2012 at 5:20 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-04-18 10:00:40 PM
img.photobucket.com
/obligatory
 
2012-04-18 10:21:54 PM
cdn.fd.uproxx.com
 
2012-04-18 10:51:37 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-04-18 11:15:39 PM
images.bluegartr.com

/mandatory
 
2012-04-18 11:40:51 PM
He should have set the car on fire, collected the insurance money and bought a decent car.
 
2012-04-18 11:49:43 PM
www.spankthellama.com
 
2012-04-19 05:21:41 AM
I like my women the way I like my coffee.

Tied in a sack and thrown on the back of a donkey by Juan Valdez.
 
2012-04-19 05:26:11 AM
Come on everyone, follow my lead

img.ponibooru.org

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
2012-04-19 05:26:33 AM
i830.photobucket.com

Your firearms are useless against them.
 
2012-04-19 05:29:03 AM
It's just a hive finding a new home. They follow the queen and she needed a break.
 
2012-04-19 05:51:50 AM
Another reason to not have a yellow car...
 
2012-04-19 05:53:49 AM
I like my Chevy Cobalts like I like my women: over at someone else's house, screwing them over and not me.
 
2012-04-19 06:08:53 AM
LSB: I once owned a Chevy Malibu that had three wasp nests growing in the trunk. /LSB

/maybe Chevy uses Apoideadesiacs in their cars
/har har
 
2012-04-19 06:26:31 AM
img525.imageshack.us

I knew the car would be yellow, but a Chevy...? Come on, Queenie.
 
2012-04-19 07:19:27 AM
BEADS?
 
2012-04-19 07:21:49 AM
Beekeeper #1: Quick, to the beemobile!
Beekeeper #2: you mean your Chevy?
Beekeeper #1: ...yes
 
2012-04-19 07:49:35 AM
naturallyartificial.files.wordpress.com

Keep him in zee ghetto!!
 
2012-04-19 07:54:04 AM

dookdookdook: Come on everyone, follow my lead

[img.ponibooru.org image 285x334]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Exactly what I did.
 
2012-04-19 08:14:01 AM
"Mix bees and a yellow Chevrolet and most people think of Bumblebee, the friendly 2006 Camaro-derived Transformer."

No... No they do not.
 
2012-04-19 08:15:58 AM
Bees! Bees! Bees in the car! Bees everywhere! God, they're huge and they're sting crazy! They're ripping my flesh off! Run away.

grinding_journalist:
[i830.photobucket.com image 500x288]

Your firearms are useless against them.


Also. Step 1) Get into car gently.
Step 2) Drive away.
Step 3) Bees fall off of car at highway speeds.

Bees are ungodly easy to control. They get docile as hell around smoke. Get some tires going and those things would run like bridezilla at a 1% off wedding dresses sale.

/Raised around bees.
 
2012-04-19 08:18:13 AM

grinding_journalist: [i830.photobucket.com image 500x288]

Your firearms are useless against them.


Oooh, I'm going to have to watch that tonight.
 
2012-04-19 08:20:42 AM

darkscout: Bees are ungodly easy to control. They get docile as hell around smoke. Get some tires going and those things would run like bridezilla at a 1% off wedding dresses sale.


When you're allergic to them that is not a consideration.

/Allergic to them
 
x23
2012-04-19 08:20:48 AM
a car with bees on it and when you drive it shoots bees out.
 
2012-04-19 08:26:38 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-19 08:28:21 AM

illannoyin: I like my women the way I like my coffee.

Tied in a sack and thrown on the back of a donkey by Juan Valdez.


I like my women the way I like my coffee.

Ground up and in the freezer.
 
2012-04-19 08:28:34 AM
My Toyota covered in bees gets 300MPG, never requires oil changes, and cures cancer.
 
2012-04-19 08:30:27 AM
"Give me another," the bee slurred.

"I think you've had enough, sir," the bartender replied jovially. "You're small and your tolerance is low."

"I'LL KILL YOU!" the bee exclaimed, shattering his glass upon the floor and lunging for the bartender's exposed neck.

The bartender tore off his shirt, allowing his puny muscles to glisten under the dim bar lights, and came out from behind the counter, to the eager cheers of his associates. This was the most excitement they'd had in weeks - they were pretty pathetic.

"C'mon, bee. I'll teach you some manners," the bartender growled as he raised his fists threateningly.

"Who do you think you are, Miss Manners or something?" the bee replied. "I'll have you know I happen to have a certificate from one of the finest finishing schools in Ireland."

"Which one?" asked one of the bartender's colleagues.

"Hey! I'm trying to have a fight here, you imbeciles," protested the bartender, getting very tired from holding up his dukes. He decided to compromise and hold them at half mast, while resting up against a bar stool.

"You givin' up already, ya wuss?" the bee hollered, as he flew defiantly in front of the bartender, dodging blow after pointless blow.

"Jus' restin'," the bartender panted breathlessly as he flailed his arms about desperately.

"Beaten by a bee," the bee said smugly.

The bartender tried to stammer out a reply, but found he had no air left in his lungs. He slumped over and wheezed, and then fell to the floor, stone cold dead. The bartender's colleagues put their arms around the bee's shoulders, cheering. They then propped the triumphant bee atop their shoulders and burst into a rousing chorus of "Hail, Hail the Victory Bee":

Hail, hail the victory bee!
Bee, as mentioned, you are victorious!
Oh, triumphant yellow and black striped honey-making hive-dwelling insect,
we are glad to have made your acquaintance and you can have any stuff of ours you want.
bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee
bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee--

The singing broke off suddenly and the bee noticed the other bar patrons whispering to one another and pointing suspicious fingers in his direction.

After a few minutes, one of the patrons slapped his hands to his cheeks and exclaimed in terror, "He's a bee!"

"Let's get him!" yelled another.

The men grabbed their torches and chased the bee from the bar, yelling curses and insults after him. The bee flew for his life, driven onward by the feeling of heat on his wings. The riotous mob chased him for mile after mile, over land and over sea. The chase wore on for weeks, then months, then years. The men grew old and died, but their children continued the desperate, hate-driven pursuit of the bee.

Eventually, however, the bee fell off a cliff.
 
2012-04-19 08:39:24 AM
spring came super early this year and the bees filled their brood chambers with nectar so they had no room to grow - thus swarming like mad. this has been the largest swarm season in 20 years. at least i don't have to replace a deadout hive from last season, i picked up a swarm and installed them this morning.

/buzz
 
2012-04-19 08:43:46 AM
26.media.tumblr.com

To the Beemobile!
You mean your Chevy?
Yes.
 
2012-04-19 08:54:29 AM
Bad bees! Get away from my sugar! Ow. OW! AAAUUUGH! They're defending themselves somehow!

thumbnails.hulu.com
 
2012-04-19 09:45:20 AM
I HAVE heard that bees like yellow
 
2012-04-19 10:33:07 AM
Once upon a time, you could buy a Chevy Cobalt for five bees.

I preferred taking the trolley downtown, though.
 
2012-04-19 10:53:37 AM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: When you're allergic to them that is not a consideration.


1: easily taught
2: easily led or managed : tractable

Give me a military smoke bomb and I'll walk naked through a swarm of bees.
 
2012-04-19 11:41:47 AM
FTA: "A beekeeper, somehow or other aligned with the city, showed up..."

That's some fine reporting there, Lou
 
2012-04-19 12:20:33 PM

Crazy Talk Al: Once upon a time, you could buy a Chevy Cobalt for five bees.


What would 5 bees do with a Chevy Cobalt?
 
2012-04-19 01:21:23 PM

Ezekiel Rage: FTA: "A beekeeper, somehow or other aligned with the city, showed up..."

That's some fine reporting there, Lou


Yeah, the editor in me screamed when I saw that, too.

Credit to the car's owner for not doing what a lot of people would have done: grab the Black Flag.
 
2012-04-19 02:30:34 PM
One of his kids is a Predator!
 
2012-04-19 03:40:35 PM
At least with a red car, you only need to worry about swarms of hummingbirds!
www.gregscott.com
 
2012-04-19 04:05:27 PM

probesport: Crazy Talk Al: Once upon a time, you could buy a Chevy Cobalt for five bees.

What would 5 bees do with a Chevy Cobalt?


Well, y'see, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.

So, instead of taking the ferry, I would just simply take my Chevy Cobalt, and tie it onto my belt next to my onion. It was the style at the time.

Hey, where ya goin'?
 
2012-04-19 05:22:53 PM
 
2012-04-19 10:01:37 PM
I shiat bee this morning.
 
2012-04-19 10:07:14 PM

sleeping martyr: [26.media.tumblr.com image 500x377]

To the Beemobile!
You mean your Chevy?
Yes.



Ha!
I'm not knocking Izzard, but this was so specifically appropriate that it should have been the headline instead.
 
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