So where is the very funny conservative humor?

CapnBlues: So where is the very funny conservative humor?

In their politics.

While I would love a Red Convention for the GOP, the chance that Palin would return as Stoneheart stands too strong and THAT scares me.

Pfft, I'd vote for Arya Stark LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG before voting for Rmoney.

Where do whores go?

I really enjoyed the first book; I need to read the rest. The thing abouth scifi/ alternate time line books is that there's always a learning curve (ex. WTF is an aes sedai; damn you Robert Jordan! Why can't you just call them farking busy bodies, rabble rabble). If you're not drawn into the plot immediately; the book kind of sucks.

/ that being said; I eagerly await the last book in the wheel of time series; that way I can be done with that series

God Is My Co-Pirate:

So much Win!

Tax Boy: [i.qkme.me image 535x339]

I don't think you get it...

Tax Boy: [i.qkme.me image 535x339]

I'm left leaning, but that's some funny ass shiat.

DonCaballero:
Robert Jordan ruined me with that meandering multi-threaded plot horsewash. Three book cycles or under for me from now on.

Martin definitely reminds me of Jordan, but with a few key differences.

Similar:

-Long multithreaded plots that don't go anywhere fast. Books heavy enough to be used for hand-to-hand combat.

-Characters: dragon heroes, wolf people, biatchy queens, red witches, nature worshiping tree people, unspeakable monsters with weird swords, and an evil god that cannot be named, etc.

-Settings: blasted lands twisted by evil, desert peoples that use spears instead of swords, slaver cultures in the east, people that worship the sea.

Dissimilar:

-Jordan's prose is repetitive and awful. Martin's prose is usually pretty entertaining.

-WoT is a more imaginative tale, SoI&F seems pretty predictable.

-No one ever dies in WoT, SoI&F character's die as quickly as you come to like them.

ObscureNameHere: What Martin does do is present a salacious low-fantasy tale told in a Tom Clancy "8 stories at once" style that bait-and-switches the reader at several points as well as not actually forming a plot or having a protagonist. If you boiled down the actual plotline for one character for one book, you might have a 20 page read out of 800 pages. There is no 'point' to the story, it is just an ambling hither and yon tale that does entertain in its own way.

So you're saying it reads like real life and not a hero's journey fantasy story? Sounds like I may have to pick it up.

God Is My Co-Pirate: ObscureNameHere: Skyrmion: ObscureNameHere:
/"Oh look, this chapter is titled "Sansa" *skimmmmmming*...nnnnooope, nothing interesting. Hey! This one is called 'Jon' *settle in to read in detail*

That's funny, because for the first three books, I was pretty much the opposite. I thought the interwoven King's Landing plotlines were great, but wanted to skim through the unrelated Jon and Daenerys stuff.

King's Landing stuff was interesting, just the ones called 'Tyrion'. :)

The whole series reminds me of why I stopped watching "How I Met Your Mother". Basically, as reader / viewer you reach a small rage point where you want to shout: "You guys are just dickin' us around aren't you? There is no 'plan', is there? You have no idea how you are going to pay off the promises you've made the viewer/ reader, do you?"

I call it the Battlestar Galactica effect.

Wouldn't the Lost effect be more appropriate?

quatchi: /Rick has a certain cersei-esque quality to him.

Nice cheekbones?

ShuyaNanahara: God Is My Co-Pirate: ObscureNameHere: Skyrmion: ObscureNameHere:
/"Oh look, this chapter is titled "Sansa" *skimmmmmming*...nnnnooope, nothing interesting. Hey! This one is called 'Jon' *settle in to read in detail*

That's funny, because for the first three books, I was pretty much the opposite. I thought the interwoven King's Landing plotlines were great, but wanted to skim through the unrelated Jon and Daenerys stuff.

King's Landing stuff was interesting, just the ones called 'Tyrion'. :)

The whole series reminds me of why I stopped watching "How I Met Your Mother". Basically, as reader / viewer you reach a small rage point where you want to shout: "You guys are just dickin' us around aren't you? There is no 'plan', is there? You have no idea how you are going to pay off the promises you've made the viewer/ reader, do you?"

I call it the Battlestar Galactica effect.

Wouldn't the Lost effect be more appropriate?

Depends. Did you care about the characters, the plot devices not centered around the characters or both?

Your answer(in order) would be: No, Yes, Kinda.

Can someone else make some more funnies? The ones earlier in the thread were hilarious but now they're just... they're just bad, man. *headshake*

Tax Boy: [i.qkme.me image 625x351]

lol

Saved.

/seriously, she's like a hot alien chick
//something really weird about her head and face shape

Tax Boy: Drogo

You magnificent bastard.

Fart_Machine: Jragghen: Malazan in particular.

Reading House of Chains right now.

/fistbump

I'm on Reaper's Gale. I've read them all back to back (to back, etc.) and I still can't put them down.

Boiled Puppy, oh jesus christ!!!!

Tax Boy is rolling in it :D

okdaddio: Fart_Machine: Jragghen: Malazan in particular.

Reading House of Chains right now.

/fistbump

I'm on Reaper's Gale. I've read them all back to back (to back, etc.) and I still can't put them down.

Since a lot of people don't realize unless they talk with lots of folks online about it - you been interspersing ICE's novels too?

Night of Knives is more supplemental and not as important (it covers the night of Lassen's ascension to Empress), but you might want to check out Return of the Crimson Guard before reading Toll the Hounds - there's a couple characters which overlap and the events occur there chronologically.


Recommended order is overall publishing order, so Night of Knives just before Bonehunters, Rreturn of the Crimson Guard between Reaper's Gale and Toll the Hounds, Stoneweilder would technically be between Dust of Dreams and The Crippled God, but honestly that one's not as important and I'd not break up those two, and Orb Scepter Throne comes after the series>

Jragghen:
Since a lot of people don't realize unless they talk with lots of folks online about it - you been interspersing ICE's novels too?


No I haven't, but thanks for the heads up. I'll squeeze Night of Knives and Return of the Crimson Guard in after I'm done with Reaper's Gale.

I just realized that one of my lines got cut off because I meant it to be an aside and had it inside of brackets which Fark tried to interpret as HTML or something. Whoops.

Erikson and Esslemont created the world together in their gaming sessions back in college - ICE isn't as good an author and doesn't seem to find his "voice" until OST, so be prepared for that.

I like both but I find GoT makes a better TV show than it did a book. LOTR is a better book than it was a movie.

GoT suffers from too many characters with very complex interrelations and is very character driven but the story arcs take way way too long to pay off. Kinda like a soap opera really. LOTR is straight up story telling, like old Nan repeating an oft told saga or a myth. The characters are archetypes from central casting but the story has a definite beginning, middle and end.

odinsposse: King Romney

There's been some M-F-ing win in this thread already but you just blew them all away.

Thank you TotalFark sponsor,

because clearly, I'm not spending enough time not working......

Persnickety: LOTR is straight up story telling

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!

The Republicans talking about the Democrats:

GameSprocket: It if was Tolkien, the sex scenes would take 40 pages.

/40 sticky sticky pages.

Based on the last movie i assume there was a hobbit orgy for 40 pages.

Farksteron: The Republicans talking about the Democrats:
[i.imgur.com image 600x400]

mhd: [i43.tinypic.com image 460x276]

That is how it is done!