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(io9)   Here's a good question: Why were there 10 dead bodies in found in Benjamin Franklin's basement?   (io9.com) divider line 105
    More: Weird, lightning storm, basements  
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21174 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2012 at 9:57 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-16 07:26:22 PM
Well this was interesting right up until I realized that it really wasn't about anything.
 
2012-04-16 07:51:45 PM
To defend Franklin, they were not dead when he put them there.
 
2012-04-16 08:08:23 PM
Submitter, if you know what's good for you, you'll mind your own business before it becomes eleven.
 
2012-04-16 08:09:12 PM
Dead French whores? Were they dead French whores?
 
2012-04-16 08:10:56 PM
Because the yard wasn't big enough?
 
2012-04-16 08:26:10 PM
For night work, the light was better inside.
 
2012-04-16 08:27:22 PM

urban.derelict: To defend Franklin, they were not dead when he put them there.


Ha!

Ben Franklin was probably the most intelligent of our Founding Fathers, and as such, would have known that people can't keep their mouth shut. I am comforted by this.
 
2012-04-16 08:35:49 PM
So, he liked to strangle some of his whores! the man is a National Treasure. He gets a pass!
 
2012-04-16 08:37:44 PM
Because he'd have to saw the legs off the eleventh person?
 
2012-04-16 08:43:23 PM
Franklin was addicted to sex. Maybe they are the bodies of his former sex slaves?
 
2012-04-16 08:47:08 PM
Maybe they were having a Fart Proudly party, and were overcome with the toxic fumes.
 
2012-04-16 08:50:39 PM

NewportBarGuy: So, he liked to strangle some of his whores! the man is a National Treasure. He gets a pass!


Indeed. He kept them confined so that their spirits would haunt those who opposed him. It was an addition to an elaborate insurance policy, a sort of ghost rider.
 
2012-04-16 08:53:21 PM

cman: Franklin was addicted to sex. Maybe they are the bodies of his former sex slaves?


What's black and white and dead all over?


Benjamin Franklin's sex slaves.
 
2012-04-16 08:54:00 PM
Because Franklin died in 1790, and nobody lives for 222 years?

If they had found live bodies buried there, that would be a cause for concern. Dead bodies, no big deal. But Franklin was a badass. He would not tolerate a bunch of zombies in his basement.
 
2012-04-16 08:56:28 PM
In found in?
 
2012-04-16 09:42:03 PM
www.smashinglists.com
 
2012-04-16 09:58:32 PM
yeah I'm going with hookers
 
2012-04-16 10:01:23 PM
Apparently he was also the inventor of Dead N-Word Storage.
 
2012-04-16 10:02:33 PM
They just got lost when Franklin was showing them his cask of Amontillado...

/brick it, done
 
2012-04-16 10:02:52 PM
His first 10 kites used metal wire instead of string, and he had local kids fly them. After the switch to string, the eleventh kid lived,and then Franklin told the world about electricity.
www.ushistory.org

/if you have enjoyed what you have learned here today, join my cult.
 
2012-04-16 10:03:05 PM
Because it was the farking 1700s and people died a lot, especially children.

/Why hello there, Captain Obvious
//It's nice to see you again
 
2012-04-16 10:03:44 PM
Here's a good question.. This was 2 days ago & went red?

/bitter subby is bitter
//mehh
 
2012-04-16 10:04:54 PM
Benjamin Franklin, Zombie Killer
 
2012-04-16 10:05:41 PM
I'm totally writing a series of Lovecraftian mysteries starring Ben "Fart Proudly" Franklin as the investigator.
 
2012-04-16 10:05:46 PM
www.moviespad.com

Why, it was malaria! He simply took them down to Panama!

/CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!
 
2012-04-16 10:06:11 PM
Yellow fewer victims and the Panama Canal.
 
2012-04-16 10:06:30 PM
I saw a special about this on the History channel or Discovery channel, some channel that has shows that have nothing to do with their name usually. Basically, he had people using the bodies to study human anatomy. Or autopsies. Or something. I think I was very drunk when I watched it.
 
2012-04-16 10:07:30 PM
Well Mr. Franklin once said 3 can only keep a secret when 2 are dead.
 
2012-04-16 10:08:58 PM
Franklin Quotes

Fear not death; for the sooner we die, the longer shall we be immortal.

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

If you would not be forgotten
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worthy reading,
Or do things worth the writing.

After three days men grow weary, of a wench, a guest, and weather rainy.


So these bodies may be from people who knew one of his five secrets...

/I like to imagine him saying the first one as he goes for the kill.
 
2012-04-16 10:09:02 PM
"Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead."

Poor Richard said it 5 times. Anyone else getting suspicious?
 
2012-04-16 10:10:54 PM
Because after ten he had to start storing them in the attic?
 
2012-04-16 10:11:03 PM

DeadMouseTails: I saw a special about this on the History channel or Discovery channel, some channel that has shows that have nothing to do with their name usually. Basically, he had people using the bodies to study human anatomy. Or autopsies. Or something. I think I was very drunk when I watched it.


History2: "10 Things You Didn't Know About _______"
 
2012-04-16 10:11:54 PM

The Voice of Doom: Yellow fewer victims and the Panama Canal.


And here I thought I had out-obscured Fark, when I merely out-obscured myself.

Meditate on this, I will.
 
2012-04-16 10:19:53 PM
Was there a sign that said "Ye Olde Dead Negro Storage"?
 
2012-04-16 10:21:13 PM
Where else would you bury the survivors?
 
2012-04-16 10:21:24 PM
img833.imageshack.us
If you are ever in Franklin, MI....
 
2012-04-16 10:23:42 PM
What an American tradition we have. The first millionaire still got a serial murder scene written off as a "human anatomy study". I wonder how many will we find once Bill Gates is gone.
 
2012-04-16 10:24:28 PM
I'd bet a hundred bucks he knew they were there.
 
2012-04-16 10:27:23 PM
Why hasn't Benn Franklin denied the accusations that he raped and murdered ten young girls in 1790? What is he hiding?
 
2012-04-16 10:27:30 PM

Mr. Potatoass: DeadMouseTails: I saw a special about this on the History channel or Discovery channel, some channel that has shows that have nothing to do with their name usually. Basically, he had people using the bodies to study human anatomy. Or autopsies. Or something. I think I was very drunk when I watched it.

History2: "10 Things You Didn't Know About _______"


Yes, that was it. Thank you.
 
2012-04-16 10:28:14 PM
Ben Franklin was by a wide margin the coolest statesman ever to live. The world will not see his like again for another thousand years.

No one. And I mean no one. Has ever led a more interesting life.
 
2012-04-16 10:29:02 PM

Arch Radish: The Voice of Doom: Yellow fewer victims and the Panama Canal.

And here I thought I had out-obscured Fark, when I merely out-obscured myself.

Meditate on this, I will.


I got it in two seconds.
 
2012-04-16 10:30:09 PM
No, Franklin didn't engage in a murder spree in between penning Poor Richard's Almanack and flying kites in lightning storms.


Suuuurrreee...
 
2012-04-16 10:30:56 PM
Because dead bodies are the only kind? Just guessing.
 
2012-04-16 10:33:41 PM
well, because they were dead, of course. you wouldn't really need them sitting up in your parlor, now would you?
 
2012-04-16 10:38:53 PM

Arch Radish: Why, it was malaria! He simply took them down to Panama!

/CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!


I love that movie.
 
2012-04-16 10:41:14 PM
Fine, but where did he bury the survivors?
 
2012-04-16 10:41:59 PM
Any slave to grammar will tell subby that is not a good question.
 
2012-04-16 10:46:06 PM
proof positive that Quincy, M.E. was not the first Coroner. we live, we learn.
 
2012-04-16 10:47:07 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
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