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(Mental Floss)   11 things you might not know about income tax, such as you have less than 72 hours remaining to file   (mentalfloss.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, use tax, H&R Block, tax preparation  
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6901 clicks; posted to Business » on 14 Apr 2012 at 2:32 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-04-14 01:05:37 PM  
Filed in January, had my refund by the beginning of February.

/superior
 
2012-04-14 01:28:13 PM  
The I.R.S. should not be charging me a dime until the apologize for Fine Young Cannibals!
 
2012-04-14 02:52:23 PM  

SecretAgentWoman: Filed in January, had my refund by the beginning of February.

/superior


Know better than to lend the government my money interest free.

/superiorer
 
2012-04-14 02:53:18 PM  

NewportBarGuy: The I.R.S. should not be charging me a dime until the apologize for Fine Young Cannibals!


Good thing.
 
2012-04-14 03:03:00 PM  

SharkTrager: Know better than to lend the government my money interest free.

/superiorer


Winnar. Better to owe a bit on tax day than get some big "windfall" that really just means you let Uncle Sam play with your money for months because you're too bad with money to be trusted with it or too stupid to fill out a W-4 properly.
 
2012-04-14 03:06:47 PM  

SecretAgentWoman: Filed in January, had my refund by the beginning of February.

/superior


Then you must not have a lot of investments because every year it takes until at least mid-February before I have all of my final 1099-DIVs and 1099-Bs ready to go.
 
2012-04-14 03:20:07 PM  
Got an unexpectedly massive refund this year since my grant money ran out.

I'd rather be making more money
 
2012-04-14 03:20:55 PM  
I always wait to file my taxes until the last week because I always owe money (which is smart of course) and so why should I give the government my money any sooner than I have to?
 
2012-04-14 03:23:56 PM  

Pincy: SecretAgentWoman: Filed in January, had my refund by the beginning of February.

/superior

Then you must not have a lot of investments because every year it takes until at least mid-February before I have all of my final 1099-DIVs and 1099-Bs ready to go.


This is the first year in like 4 years that I didn't have to file an extension due to missing something from some org.
 
2012-04-14 03:40:31 PM  
Craaaaap. I keep forgetting about this. Ok, fire up the turbo tax right now....erm, I should check my email first and turn my phone off and maybe get a sandwich before I start.
 
2012-04-14 03:43:29 PM  

SecretAgentWoman: Filed in January, had my refund by the beginning of February.

/superior


Filing this weekend, owe money. Made more money off of said money.

//Incredibly more superior than you.
 
2012-04-14 03:50:34 PM  
How about I just set fire to this thread and we call it even?

/Enrolled Agent
//4 more days
$/$/$/Tax Season Slashies
 
2012-04-14 03:58:15 PM  
You're late to the party. Anyone who gets a tax refund is not playing the game right.

Put your pants back on, nobody wants to see someone that small.
 
2012-04-14 04:08:39 PM  
Sooo, any one know the penalties/consequences for not filing anything for almost 20 years?
 
2012-04-14 04:14:41 PM  

SecretAgentWoman: Filed in January, had my refund by the beginning of February.

/superior


You're also a plebe. The old accountant joke is if you're a woman wanting to find a rich man, ask him if he's filed his taxes yet, and if he says yes he's not rich.
 
2012-04-14 04:22:28 PM  

Boatmech: Sooo, any one know the penalties/consequences for not filing anything for almost 20 years?


Have you made less than ~5K* for the last 20 years? Then you should be good.

*I'm certain Farkers will know the exact number, but I spent a couple of years not filing taxes because it was below the limit.

/Though at that point, the government will literally pay you, so you should be filing anyways.
 
2012-04-14 04:22:30 PM  

Boatmech: Sooo, any one know the penalties/consequences for not filing anything for almost 20 years?


Ask Wesley Snipes. Or Kent Hovind.
 
2012-04-14 04:24:14 PM  
Don't file - don't pay taxes - that's for losers. Good luck to the rest of you.
 
2012-04-14 04:33:25 PM  

Boatmech: Sooo, any one know the penalties/consequences for not filing anything for almost 20 years?


Nothing, provided you didn't owe.

If you did owe, boy howdy are you in for some interest and penalties. But likely for only the past 7 years.

/I am a tax preparer, but I am not YOUR tax preparer. Please seek professional advice in your jurisdiction.
 
2012-04-14 04:56:39 PM  
Pfft. Real patriots don't pay their taxes. They just fly their private jets into an IRS building instead.
 
2012-04-14 04:57:45 PM  
Looked at my annual earnings the other day. The social security section made me want to set fire to an old folks home
 
2012-04-14 05:05:02 PM  

JonZoidberg: Winnar. Better to owe a bit on tax day than get some big "windfall" that really just means you let Uncle Sam play with your money for months because you're too bad with money to be trusted with it or too stupid to fill out a W-4 properly.


Meh. Depends on why you have a refund. Most years I don't. This year, I had major charitable deductions (parents both died recently, donated truckloads to Goodwill and library book sale). I guess I could have claimed to have 25 dependends on my W-4, or, eh, I'm getting a refund check.
 
2012-04-14 05:05:25 PM  
It is so hard to believe that in a democracy we choose to do this to ourselves. People die because of this. So sad.
 
2012-04-14 05:06:03 PM  

aegean: It is so hard to believe that in a democracy we choose to do this to ourselves. People die because of this. So sad.


Paying taxes will kill you?
 
2012-04-14 05:10:00 PM  
The_Six_Fingered_Man:
`
Nothing, provided you didn't owe.
If you did owe, boy howdy are you in for some
interest and penalties. But likely for only the
past 7 years.
/I am a tax preparer, but I am not YOUR tax
preparer. Please seek professional advice in your jurisdiction.
`
Yeah, kinda figured that boy howdy part. Good thing it's not me but a close friend. *
`
My friend has been out of the IRS's jurisdiction for most of that time and the local bureaucracy is not very efficient.
The 'profession advice' for down here is to simply not be noticed by the IRB and plead ignorance if caught.
/sad thing is, if he wanted to pay the lawyers/Gov/fines etc he can't (no money means no money)
// I actually have a little old B(ill) S(hit) degree in accounting, just never used it or keep up to date.
 
2012-04-14 05:13:55 PM  

SoCalSurfer: Looked at my annual earnings the other day. The social security section made me want to set fire to an old folks home


Don't touch my medicare!!!

Your medicare?
 
2012-04-14 05:45:21 PM  

JonZoidberg: SharkTrager: Know better than to lend the government my money interest free.

/superiorer

Winnar. Better to owe a bit on tax day than get some big "windfall" that really just means you let Uncle Sam play with your money for months because you're too bad with money to be trusted with it or too stupid to fill out a W-4 properly.


...nice to know that no hourly employee is good with money.
 
2012-04-14 06:00:22 PM  
Just got done filing mine.

/taxes on unemployment benefits is bullshiat
 
2012-04-14 06:33:04 PM  
Y'all hurry up and pay your taxes. I need my welfare that I have earned
 
2012-04-14 08:26:28 PM  
Waiting for the year when there is no "story" about the post offices staying open until midnight because of the last minute jackasses.

/close the post offices on time and send everyone home. screw the last minute arseholes.
 
2012-04-14 08:30:25 PM  

Pincy: SecretAgentWoman: Filed in January, had my refund by the beginning of February.

/superior

Then you must not have a lot of investments because every year it takes until at least mid-February before I have all of my final 1099-DIVs and 1099-Bs ready to go.


For the last four years, the last of our 1099s have arrived in late September....
 
2012-04-14 10:33:10 PM  

portscanner: Y'all hurry up and pay your taxes. I need my welfare that I have earned


Don't worry, they extract 7% + of my pay check to fund social security, better known as old people's "earned" welfare.
 
2012-04-14 10:42:16 PM  

Boatmech: Sooo, any one know the penalties/consequences for not filing anything for almost 20 years?


Easy. Just say "I forgot."

blog.wfmu.org

/first, get a million dollars
 
2012-04-14 11:13:52 PM  
flaminio
`
Boatmech: Sooo, any one know the penalties/
consequences for not filing anything for almost
20 years?
`
Easy. Just say "I forgot."
/first, get a million dollars
`
Great, now I've got that damn Barenaked
Ladies song for an earbug. Thanks
 
2012-04-15 03:18:54 AM  

IlGreven: JonZoidberg: SharkTrager: Know better than to lend the government my money interest free.

/superiorer

Winnar. Better to owe a bit on tax day than get some big "windfall" that really just means you let Uncle Sam play with your money for months because you're too bad with money to be trusted with it or too stupid to fill out a W-4 properly.

...nice to know that no hourly employee is good with money.


Don't kid yourself or anyone else. Everyone knows someone who thinks their tax refund is a cash prize so they can get a big ticket item. Good for them, I'd rather have my money throughout the year.
Anybody can try to minimize their refund. Do your research when you get hired and fill in your W4 correctly. If you do your taxes with turbotax, you can do a few more clicks after finishing and get a new W4 that you can sign and give to your employer to minimize your refund for the next year assuming minimal changes.

You are the one who attached an insinuation to what I said, not me.
 
2012-04-15 03:59:42 AM  

The_Six_Fingered_Man:
/Enrolled Agent
//4 more days
$/$/$/Tax Season Slashies


Oh good, you can probably help me with a very important question. My friend told me about a "good" tax preparer. The guy said something about ordinary and necessary expenses. So I told him I wanted to write off my groceries, clothes and shoes but he said I couldn't? Isn't food necessary? If I didn't eat, I would die and couldn't work anymore, so it's a write off, right? And I can't go to work naked or they would fire me, so that's necessary too, right? (unless I was a stripper, LOL).

Anyway, this whole tax stuff is just a bunch of bullshiat where the middle class pay everything, and the rules don't apply to the rich. Do the rich people just find accountants who bribe the IRS and write off their whores, box seats, cocaine, pills and other crap?
 
2012-04-15 07:57:47 AM  

JonZoidberg: SharkTrager: Know better than to lend the government my money interest free.

/superiorer

Winnar. Better to owe a bit on tax day than get some big "windfall" that really just means you let Uncle Sam play with your money for months because you're too bad with money to be trusted with it or too stupid to fill out a W-4 properly.


I got enough back to cover the filing fees plus a little extra. I think that's close enough.
 
2012-04-15 09:14:16 AM  

JonZoidberg: You are the one who attached an insinuation to what I said, not me.


...aaaand favorited!.

/For that alone. Anything else you said is irrelevant thanks to that line of bullshiat.
 
2012-04-15 10:16:59 AM  
This probably isn't the best place to get tax advice but....

I've been told that
1.) You only need to file if you owe money
2.) You have to file if you work outside of the country...

I'm not sure about what to do when I don't owe money and I am working outside of the country. Do I still need to file?
 
2012-04-15 01:43:34 PM  

Atomic Spunk: The_Six_Fingered_Man:
/Enrolled Agent
//4 more days
$/$/$/Tax Season Slashies

Oh good, you can probably help me with a very important question. My friend told me about a "good" tax preparer. The guy said something about ordinary and necessary expenses. So I told him I wanted to write off my groceries, clothes and shoes but he said I couldn't? Isn't food necessary? If I didn't eat, I would die and couldn't work anymore, so it's a write off, right? And I can't go to work naked or they would fire me, so that's necessary too, right? (unless I was a stripper, LOL).

Anyway, this whole tax stuff is just a bunch of bullshiat where the middle class pay everything, and the rules don't apply to the rich. Do the rich people just find accountants who bribe the IRS and write off their whores, box seats, cocaine, pills and other crap?


3 more days man. We'll make it through.
 
2012-04-15 01:44:36 PM  

The_Six_Fingered_Man: Atomic Spunk: The_Six_Fingered_Man:
/Enrolled Agent
//4 more days
$/$/$/Tax Season Slashies

Oh good, you can probably help me with a very important question. My friend told me about a "good" tax preparer. The guy said something about ordinary and necessary expenses. So I told him I wanted to write off my groceries, clothes and shoes but he said I couldn't? Isn't food necessary? If I didn't eat, I would die and couldn't work anymore, so it's a write off, right? And I can't go to work naked or they would fire me, so that's necessary too, right? (unless I was a stripper, LOL).

Anyway, this whole tax stuff is just a bunch of bullshiat where the middle class pay everything, and the rules don't apply to the rich. Do the rich people just find accountants who bribe the IRS and write off their whores, box seats, cocaine, pills and other crap?

3 more days man. We'll make it through.


The most hilarious thing about that is that I have a client who actually does have a necessary and ordinary expense for groceries. He's a food taster for Weber.
 
2012-04-15 03:43:41 PM  

The_Six_Fingered_Man:
3 more days man. We'll make it through.


Yup, I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be nice to have weekends and evenings free again. Cheers to you and have yourself an enjoyable April 18th - I know I will.
 
2012-04-15 03:52:09 PM  

Atomic Spunk: The_Six_Fingered_Man:
3 more days man. We'll make it through.

Yup, I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be nice to have weekends and evenings free again. Cheers to you and have yourself an enjoyable April 18th - I know I will.


April 18th Happy Hour starts somewhere around 1pm. Can't Wait.
 
2012-04-15 07:48:58 PM  

SoCalSurfer: Looked at my annual earnings the other day. The social security section made me want to set fire to an old folks home


It's probably better than mine. I'm on the right hand side of a pretty steep bell curve :-(
 
2012-04-15 08:43:13 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: This probably isn't the best place to get tax advice but....

I've been told that
1.) You only need to file if you owe money
2.) You have to file if you work outside of the country...

I'm not sure about what to do when I don't owe money and I am working outside of the country. Do I still need to file?


Sounds like you need to file, regardless. If you're a US citizen, you are required to file US income tax no matter where in the world the money is originated. Also, if you don't file, you don't receive any refund you are due.

If you make above a certain income level, you are required to file regardless if you owe or not.

Here is the IRS table showing who has to file by filing status. If your income level is at or above the income level stated for your filing status, Uncle Sam is expecting a return from you.

If you need help, your local US embassy or consulate should be able to assist you.

/Not an accountant, enrolled agent or lawyer
 
2012-04-15 11:13:44 PM  

Atomic Spunk: Do the rich people just find accountants who bribe the IRS and write off their whores, box seats, cocaine, pills and other crap?


Yes, Yes they do.

Except when you're that rich whores, box seats, cocaine, pills and other crap are necessary business expenses. What other rich person is going to do business with you if you DON'T provide those things.
 
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