I figures out a long time ago that women like having sex.

/and sometimes they like having sex with me.

What's his Fark login.

So where's her phone number?

No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.

I assume she looked nothing like the woman in the stock photo.

From the comments
He should have married her, that would have stopped her

I loled

She sounds incorrigible.

oryx: I assume she looked nothing like the woman in the stock photo.

Neither did he.

Why didn't he just fall asleep?

Gang bang?

Leave it to the Germans to come up with exact demands and high performance expectations.

JMan245: She tried to talk the officers into the same activity? Christ, get her a chastity belt. Or line her up for porn. Either should suffice.

This. There's hot insatiable sex... and then there's a farking mental disease.

/ Nymphomania is a serious condition, affecting 9 out of 10 women who don't sleep with me.

abhorrent1: From the comments
He should have married her, that would have stopped her

I loled

Hell no, then you would have to support her and she would be doing it with everyone but you.

Actually, a nympho is only a good thing for a very short while. They they become very tiresome. I dated one years ago. She wanted to fark all night, every night and supplement that with nooners, etc. Nymphos are actually whacked. Never stick your dick in crazy.

But we men, especially those of us who are a little older, know that the FA is FOS. He had sex with the woman "several" times and then "a few more times". How long was he there? Several days? There's no getting around that refractory period, which in even a very horny 43 year old man, is going to be anywhere from 60 to 90 minutes for the first couple of times and then increase to several hours. I think the guy was selling wolf tickets.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

"The 43-year-old woman had met a man four years her senior in a bar in the southern German city on Monday and he took her back to his apartment for sex, a police spokesman said in a statement.

"There they had sexual intercourse several times," the spokesman said.

"When the 47-year-old wanted even more, his partner said no."

The woman then attempted to leave the apartment but the man prevented her from escaping and demanded she sleep with him again.

"Because the 43-year-old saw no other alternative, she complied with the man's wishes another few times so she could finally leave the apartment," the spokesman said.
"

JackieRabbit: Actually, a nympho is only a good thing for a very short while. They they become very tiresome. I dated one years ago. She wanted to fark all night, every night and supplement that with nooners, etc. Nymphos are actually whacked. Never stick your dick in crazy.

But we men, especially those of us who are a little older, know that the FA is FOS. He had sex with the woman "several" times and then "a few more times". How long was he there? Several days? There's no getting around that refractory period, which in even a very horny 43 year old man, is going to be anywhere from 60 to 90 minutes for the first couple of times and then increase to several hours. I think the guy was selling wolf tickets.

Right. It sounds like he either couldn't get it up or came too quick and she was pissed off.

WTH does 'wolf tickets' mean?

abhorrent1: From the comments
He should have married her, that would have stopped her

I loled

Eh, that didn't stop me.

ApeShaft: "The 43-year-old woman had met a man four years her senior in a bar in the southern German city on Monday and he took her back to his apartment for sex, a police spokesman said in a statement.

"There they had sexual intercourse several times," the spokesman said.

"When the 47-year-old wanted even more, his partner said no."

The woman then attempted to leave the apartment but the man prevented her from escaping and demanded she sleep with him again.

"Because the 43-year-old saw no other alternative, she complied with the man's wishes another few times so she could finally leave the apartment," the spokesman said.
"

Thanks, man! My browser totally wasn't working, and I couldn't click the article myself. Thank God you reproduced random pieces of it in the thread!

KangTheMad: Make More Hinjews: JMan245: She tried to talk the officers into the same activity? Christ, get her a chastity belt. Or line her up for porn. Either should suffice.

This. There's hot insatiable sex... and then there's a farking mental disease.

/ Nymphomania is a serious condition, affecting 9 out of 10 women who don't sleep with me.

Tell us about the one.

Of course! What do you want to know?

/ A gentleman always farks and tells.

AbbeySomeone: WTH does 'wolf tickets' mean?

It's an old term that Black guys used to use. It means someone is either full of shiat or that he is "letting his mouth write a check his ass can't cash".

As someone who is currently not getting any sex, I am highly disappointed in this man.

Next time, give me a call and I'll fill in.

KangTheMad: And I'm glad he didn't use them to highlight a point, or accent the funny of what he said. That would have just been annoying.

Hehe.


KangTheMad: The crazy. Tell us about the crazy.

//any part where either of you get injured or trapped in a hilariously awkward situation is the best.

Oh, you mean the woman ten years older than me who got me off under the covers while she was giving her children instructions on getting ready for school?

/ Or the girl who drove down to my college campus and asked for anal and made sure the door was open just a little, so my roommates could see?

// You have to be more specific about these things. I've had a loooootta crazy. :)

JackieRabbit: AbbeySomeone: WTH does 'wolf tickets' mean?

It's an old term that Black guys used to use. It means someone is either full of shiat or that he is "letting his mouth write a check his ass can't cash".

I assumed it meant crying wolf, which doesn't really apply here. Good to know it's a black thing, and I'm not just slow.

_{/may still be slow}

Sounds like he didn't properly hydrate himself.

"Schnell" = fast or quick

I saw a video of two Swiss women getting it on, and one of them was saying "schnell, schnell, schnell!" while being pleasured by the other one.

BurnShrike: As someone who is currently not getting any sex...

Why not? Don't tell me both hands are broken?

Insatiable cougar.

honk: BurnShrike: As someone who is currently not getting any sex...

Why not? Don't tell me both hands are broken?

I said I'm currently not getting any sex. My boss frowns on that sort of thing in the workplace.

KangTheMad: honk: BurnShrike: As someone who is currently not getting any sex...

Why not? Don't tell me both hands are broken?

His dog died.

I don't have a dog. The only biatch I stick it in is your mom.

Meth.

That is all.

animal900: JackieRabbit: AbbeySomeone: WTH does 'wolf tickets' mean?

It's an old term that Black guys used to use. It means someone is either full of shiat or that he is "letting his mouth write a check his ass can't cash".

I assumed it meant crying wolf, which doesn't really apply here. Good to know it's a black thing, and I'm not just slow.

/may still be slow

The phrase originated as a play on the story of the boy who cried wolf. It essentially means "lying his ass off", which is what the boy was doing to get attention. Black people have a great talent of changing things up and inventing colorful new metaphors, don't they?

BurnShrike:

I don't have a dog. The only biatch I stick it in is your my mom.

BurnShrike: honk: BurnShrike: As someone who is currently not getting any sex...

Why not? Don't tell me both hands are broken?

I said I'm currently not getting any sex. My boss frowns on that sort of thing in the workplace.

Next time, try getting with somebody else's secretary. He probably had work for her to do.

ApeShaft: "The 43-year-old woman had met a man four years her senior in a bar in the southern German city on Monday and he took her back to his apartment for sex, a police spokesman said in a statement.

"There they had sexual intercourse several times," the spokesman said.

"When the 47-year-old wanted even more, his partner said no."

The woman then attempted to leave the apartment but the man prevented her from escaping and demanded she sleep with him again.

"Because the 43-year-old saw no other alternative, she complied with the man's wishes another few times so she could finally leave the apartment," the spokesman said.
"

I see what you did there, and I'm glad you did it.
So why won't she be charged with it -- all of it?

JackieRabbit: Black people have a great talent of changing things up and inventing colorful new metaphors, don't they?

Too early in the morning for trolls like you.

bubo_sibiricus: [fc01.deviantart.net image 507x500]

that reminds me of that graphic, about how men and women see themselves. many women under-value their own attractiveness, man men over-value their attractiveness. I want to see the same cartoon with a dumpy older woman and a barely legal adonis, with the woman trying to escape and the adonis coming on.