If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Louis Farrakhan says "Jesus was a black man." Well, Jesus liked Gospel, called everyone "brother" and couldn't get a fair trial, so it may be true   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 297
    More: Unlikely, Jesus Is, Farrakhan, black Muslim, fair trial, gospels, College Democrats of America, eternal life, u.s. congressman  
•       •       •

3549 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Apr 2012 at 9:12 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



297 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-13 09:30:41 AM
Weird, he's one of those guys I would have sworn was dead.
 
2012-04-13 09:31:09 AM
 
2012-04-13 09:31:36 AM
Fireproof: Jake Havechek: The Mothership was piloted by "Black men 4 1/2 feet tall." (I don't know where the women were during those extended orbits.)

There were 1500 "baby planes" on the Mothership, each plane possessing three bombs.

Those bombs had drills on their tips and, when deployed, would drill a mile deep beneath the surface and, upon explosion, force up a mountain a mile high.

The Messenger taught that such bombs were used to separate the Moon from the Earth 66 trillion years ago.

The Honorable Elijah Muhammad taught that Ezekiel's vision of wheels was a vision of the Mothership.

The 4500 bombs would all strike land. None, Mr. Muhammad taught, would fall into water.

America was the first nation the Mothership would attack. Before striking and releasing its bombs, it would drop leaflets printed in English and Arabic warning of the coming destruction.

Some unspecified time later it would emit a high-pitched, piercing sound to warn that the attack is imminent. At that point, it was too late. The destruction would commence.

Care to tell us what that's from? Is it by Farrakhan?


Those are the religious beliefs of the Nation of Islam. Basically, they're a cheaper and blacker version of Scientology.
 
2012-04-13 09:32:50 AM
i12.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-13 09:33:23 AM

Doink_Boink: Weird, he's one of those guys I would have sworn was dead.


Yeah for about 2,000 years now.
 
2012-04-13 09:34:09 AM

BronyMedic: Those are the religious beliefs of the Nation of Islam. Basically, they're a cheaper and blacker version of Scientology.


"Most English translations of the Quran are written with English on one side of the page and Arabic on the other. The Mothership's leaflets, then, really refer to the Quran. Once a person achieves trance/Mothership consciousness she can understand the Quran at a very different level."
 
2012-04-13 09:35:34 AM
It seems that if we ignore Farrakhan, he still wont go away.

Maybe start laughing? Whenever he speaks in public, just laugh at him, loudly and obnoxiously? There really is no winning move for him, at that point.
 
2012-04-13 09:35:57 AM
Just another religious/ethnic/fill in the blank nutter who expects whatever he's says is completely accurate. . From the bible thumpers who announce that God spoke to them directly and commanded the followers to pay for a mega church.
Or the group whose leader announced when life would end on Earth and only his chosen followers would be saved. Freedom of speech is in the Bill of Rights, there is no mention of Freedom of Stupidity.
 
2012-04-13 09:37:08 AM

indylaw: thurstonxhowell: indylaw: He's probably one of those supertards that think that blacks and native Americans are the real Jewish diaspora and those we know as Jews are actually demons.

WTF did I just read?

Black Hebrew Israelites (new window)


Well, if you take out the black and antisemitic part, that kinda sounds like the Book of Mormon^
 
2012-04-13 09:37:44 AM
No, Jesus was Batman.
 
2012-04-13 09:38:40 AM

fozziewazzi: And yet this is still the most common depiction of Jesus that Western Christians use.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 362x450]

Even in movies he's this white.


No, I'm pretty sure that's the bass player from Genesis.
 
2012-04-13 09:39:24 AM
Go to Target and get some underwear a size or two larger than you are currently wearing.
 
2012-04-13 09:39:28 AM

fozziewazzi: Even in movies he's this white.


Because dark people are SCARY.
 
2012-04-13 09:39:57 AM

Fireproof: Jake Havechek: The Mothership was piloted by "Black men 4 1/2 feet tall." (I don't know where the women were during those extended orbits.)

There were 1500 "baby planes" on the Mothership, each plane possessing three bombs.

Those bombs had drills on their tips and, when deployed, would drill a mile deep beneath the surface and, upon explosion, force up a mountain a mile high.

The Messenger taught that such bombs were used to separate the Moon from the Earth 66 trillion years ago.

The Honorable Elijah Muhammad taught that Ezekiel's vision of wheels was a vision of the Mothership.

The 4500 bombs would all strike land. None, Mr. Muhammad taught, would fall into water.

America was the first nation the Mothership would attack. Before striking and releasing its bombs, it would drop leaflets printed in English and Arabic warning of the coming destruction.

Some unspecified time later it would emit a high-pitched, piercing sound to warn that the attack is imminent. At that point, it was too late. The destruction would commence.

Care to tell us what that's from? Is it by Farrakhan?


www.soundfinder.jp
The only mothership full of black folks that concerns me. I like to imagine the day where Bootsie Collins kicks Farrakhan off of his mothership.
 
2012-04-13 09:39:58 AM

Unsung_Hero: Yeah, I'm guessing Monty Python's depiction of the life and times of Jesus would (with the exception of the alien invasion and the Latin language professor guard) be the most accurate picture a modern person is likely to come across.

So, tan skin, dark hair, brown eyes? I'm going to go out on a limb here and call the biblical Jesus a shiat-disturbing radical reformer fundamentalist Jew. That's probably why the Temples of the time weren't so keen on him.


See I've always detected a hint of wicked sense of humor in the almighty, so I'm quite sure when say a klansman or a member of Aryan nation dies and reaches the Pearly Gates, Jesus comes out to greet them looking like 1970's Issac Hayes or Jim Brown, though he probably goes more "natural" when it's time to welcome an old Nazi war Criminal or Al-Qaeda member
 
2012-04-13 09:40:07 AM

fozziewazzi: And yet this is still the most common depiction of Jesus that Western Christians use.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 362x450]

Even in movies he's this white.


That picture is bullshiat. His hair was lighter and he had blue eyes.
 
2012-04-13 09:40:44 AM

fozziewazzi: And yet this is still the most common depiction of Jesus that Western Christians use.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 362x450]

Even in movies he's this white.


Enlighten us. What is with the depictions of the dude with his heart exposed, thorns poking into it, and blood dripping from it?
And the radioactive glow?
I can't for the life of me figure out what the fark that is supposed to inspire outside of come monkey jamming voo doo fears upon an unejumacated population.
I mean, I go to some Papist's house and they got there these black velvet paintings with the heart. Just the farking heart, and thorns jammed into it and blood dripping and a radioactive glow and if you didn't know they were already farked in the head for being christian, you'd be like these people need some serious help. Of course they do. But WTF is with the commonality of the display of a human organ as such?
Can I start my own religeon and use a penis like that?

And don't reply all snark like you're from the people who use a vag full of sand for your symbolism.
I figure a disembodied cawk with barbed wire jammed into it and blood dripping off of it would be jsut the thing to inspire followers to live a peaceful and generous life.

Oh, that sounds sick?

But the heat, that's ok?
 
2012-04-13 09:41:02 AM
Debeo Summa Credo: fozziewazzi: And yet this is still the most common depiction of Jesus that Western Christians use.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 362x450]

Even in movies he's this white.

That picture is bullshiat. His hair was lighter and he had blue eyes.


That's also bullshiat. He also had a stubby mustache and yelled "SEEN KYLE" at everyone while showing them how tall Kyle is.
 
2012-04-13 09:41:19 AM

fozziewazzi: And yet this is still the most common depiction of Jesus that Western Christians use.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 362x450]

Even in movies he's this white.


I'm more put off by the neckbeard.
 
2012-04-13 09:41:45 AM
drkronner.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-04-13 09:42:08 AM

rebelyell2006: That can't possibly be true since Jesus never existed.


Say what?

Most critical historians agree that Jesus existed and regard events such as his baptism and his crucifixion as historical.
(new window)

Was he just a preacher or the actual son of God is the question.
 
2012-04-13 09:42:38 AM
indylaw: He's probably one of those supertards that think that blacks and native Americans are the real Jewish diaspora and those we know as Jews are actually demons.

thurstonxhowell: WTF did I just read?

What makes it even funnier is that there are white groups that think the exact same thing, 'cept flipped about.
 
2012-04-13 09:42:51 AM
i141.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-13 09:43:25 AM
I've heard that the shroud of turin smells like cocoa butter, so there's that.
 
2012-04-13 09:43:46 AM

Jake Havechek: The Mothership was piloted by "Black men 4 1/2 feet tall." (I don't know where the women were during those extended orbits.)

There were 1500 "baby planes" on the Mothership, each plane possessing three bombs.

Those bombs had drills on their tips and, when deployed, would drill a mile deep beneath the surface and, upon explosion, force up a mountain a mile high.

The Messenger taught that such bombs were used to separate the Moon from the Earth 66 trillion years ago.

The Honorable Elijah Muhammad taught that Ezekiel's vision of wheels was a vision of the Mothership.

The 4500 bombs would all strike land. None, Mr. Muhammad taught, would fall into water.

America was the first nation the Mothership would attack. Before striking and releasing its bombs, it would drop leaflets printed in English and Arabic warning of the coming destruction.

Some unspecified time later it would emit a high-pitched, piercing sound to warn that the attack is imminent. At that point, it was too late. The destruction would commence.


This is the shiat that blows my mind about this clown - there are actually morons that wholeheartedly BELIEVE this DERP word for word. I know some of them and they are like sleeper cells waiting for the war on the white man to begin! Other parts of the "text" state that the "planes" were built in Japan, that the mountain ranges were created by these "bombs" and that FarraCON himself flew in one of the spaceships that was piloted by one of the black brothers waiting for the word to destroy. This has also been told to his followers and they believe that this is what explains every unexplained UFO sighting, it was a brother in a circular plane.
 
2012-04-13 09:44:20 AM

Cyberluddite: He also says that Jesus was a Muslim.


Well, saying Jesus was a Muslim is standard, traditional Islamic theology. The Nation of Islam gets unorthodox with it's version of Islam compared to mainstream Sunni and Shi'a thought, but that part is pretty standard.

Jesus is mentioned in the Koran (under the Arabic transliteration of his name of "Isa") many times. The only person more discussed in the Koran is Mohammed.

Conventional, mainstream Islamic theology holds that Judaism and Christianity as religions aren't inherently wrong, but they have diverged from the true divine guidance over many centuries. The concept is that people who followed God/Allah to the best they could with the information that was present in the world at that time are considered Muslims.

Thus, Adam and Eve are considered Muslims in Islamic theology. So was Noah, and Moses, and King David, and Jesus.

Jesus was even specifically considered a Prophet. Not "The Prophet", that's Mohammed himself, but a lesser prophet who was sent to Earth to provide divine guidance to the Jews in Roman-occupied Jerusalem. . .but his message got distorted and that distorted message got spread a lot farther than it was intended.

Mohammed's role, according to Islamic thought, was to provide a final, corrected version of divine revelation for posterity and for the whole world instead of separate prophets providing guidance to a single people or for a single era.

The much-maligned (in the modern world) concept of dhimmi stems from this. In most parts of the world back then, if you didn't follow the official state religion you were in for a world of hurt, especially if you made your lack of worship known. Dhimmi were allowed to practice their faiths on the idea that they were at least praying to Allah and worshipping Him, even if they were getting a lot of the details wrong because they were paying attention to the guidance of a lesser prophet. Thus, they would be allowed to worship in peace, as long as they paid their taxes and didn't try to convert Muslims to their faith. For the 7th Century, it was very progressive. For the 21st Century, not so much.

/Definitely not a Muslim myself, but am a bit of an amateur theologian.
//The More You Know. . .
 
2012-04-13 09:44:32 AM
And the invisible unicorn is pink
 
2012-04-13 09:46:02 AM

Grandemadaca: rebelyell2006: That can't possibly be true since Jesus never existed.

Say what?

Most critical historians agree that Jesus existed and regard events such as his baptism and his crucifixion as historical. (new window)

Was he just a preacher or the actual son of God is the question.


Or, just some nut who pulled the greatest con in the history of humanity. Maybe Jesus and Muhammad just got lucky, and thousands of other crackpots (like David Koresh) could have started religiions that eventually attracted billions of followers if they had just caught a few breaks.
 
2012-04-13 09:46:47 AM

GoodyearPimp: fozziewazzi: Even in movies he's this white.

Because dark people are SCARY.


I see you've been to Detroit. Don't worry, the horror will go away with time.
 
2012-04-13 09:47:52 AM

cleveoh: fozziewazzi: And yet this is still the most common depiction of Jesus that Western Christians use.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 362x450]

Even in movies he's this white.

No, I'm pretty sure that's the bass player from Genesis.


Wrong band. The Bible clearly refers to him as Jesus of Nazareth.
 
2012-04-13 09:49:03 AM
Jesus might as well be green with tentacles as far as I'm concerned.
 
2012-04-13 09:49:46 AM

Dayglo Brown: [drkronner.files.wordpress.com image 475x356]


Came for, leaving quite happy and slightly impressed.
 
2012-04-13 09:49:46 AM
To quote a comedian whose name escapes me at the moment:

"Jesus wasn't black! He looked like one of the Bee Gees!"
 
2012-04-13 09:49:49 AM
Good 'ol US government definition [1] [2]

White. A person having origins in any of the original peoples of Europe, the Middle East, or North Africa. It includes people who indicate their race as "White" or report entries such as Irish, German, Italian, Lebanese, Near Easterner, Arab, or Polish.
 
2012-04-13 09:49:53 AM
Jesus looked like Aaron Neville.
 
2012-04-13 09:51:42 AM

s1ugg0: [www.israelshamir.net image 220x242]

Not so much black as middle eastern. Almost like he was born, lived, and died in the middle east.

/Who the fark cares what color skin he had?


Mildde Easterners, as we know them today, did not exist 2000 years ago. Judeans of the time would have look far more negroid than Arabic. So Farrakhan is kind of correct, which is scary.
 
2012-04-13 09:52:18 AM
He was a Jew. Jews still exist. It's not hard to guess.
 
2012-04-13 09:52:32 AM
Since Jesus was Jewish, he probably looked more like Marty Feldman....

farm8.staticflickr.com



Or maybe Zero Mostel.
 
2012-04-13 09:53:46 AM
Jesus was an Easter Islander.
 
2012-04-13 09:55:29 AM

lustfrog: Since Jesus was Jewish, he probably looked more like Marty Feldman....

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 171x260]



Or maybe Zero Mostel.


i.imgur.com

Klinger.
 
2012-04-13 09:55:35 AM

MorrisBird: The tooth fairy is blue. I know. I woke up at night and saw her once when I was six.



Wait --- the tooth fairy was the Smurfette?
 
2012-04-13 09:56:06 AM
I call BS. Everyone knows that Jesus has long, blond hair and blue eyes, speaks English, and drives around in a pickup truck with a Confederate flag decal in the rear window (right behind the gun rack).

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure the Shroud of Turin is really just Jeri-Curl staining...
 
2012-04-13 09:57:40 AM
Headline of the Year Candidate. Good one, Subby.
+several
 
2012-04-13 09:58:17 AM

predle: And the invisible unicorn is pink


And quarks are strange.
 
2012-04-13 09:58:22 AM

PreMortem: Who cares what Farrakhan has to say about anything.

Oh, yeah. Conservatives.


Every newspaper looking for a sound bite?

And middle eastern is not black, at least not black like the murderer Farrakhan.
 
2012-04-13 09:59:03 AM

Party Boy: Good 'ol US government definition [1] [2]

White. A person having origins in any of the original peoples of Europe, the Middle East, or North Africa. It includes people who indicate their race as "White" or report entries such as Irish, German, Italian, Lebanese, Near Easterner, Arab, or Polish.


Irish?

ObOldJoke: Are Jews white? Technically yes, but, . . .

/you hadda be there
 
2012-04-13 09:59:21 AM
According to Huffington Post Jesus was a Muslim Atheist Lesbian with an MFA in creative writing and she invented renewable energy.
 
2012-04-13 10:00:40 AM

steamingpile: Every newspaper looking for a sound bite?

And middle eastern is not black, at least not black like the murderer Farrakhan.


well.........

funny story about that.

There was a case of a Black Egyptian national who came here, wrote his nationality of the census forms, and was listed as white because, for the US govt, Egyptians, North Africans, and Middle Easteners are white.
 
2012-04-13 10:00:46 AM

CrispFlows: FTA:
"Farrakhan has previously called white people "potential humans who have not fully evolved" and referred to Jewish groups as a "synagogue of Satan.""

I see the dude has a lot of opinions and not so much basis to them.


I think Farrakhan has been hurt historically by comparisons of black people to sub-humans, so he tries to match that rhetoric with equally incendiary language. At least, I think that's what it was when he started. He probably believes it, now.
 
2012-04-13 10:01:57 AM
What? All those brown people look alike to him?
 
Displayed 50 of 297 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report