Somehow I am going to explain to my wife that "Software Engineer" is the best job there is, even though I get paid so little (work for a state university).

/In all honesty though, I love my job ;)
//don't fire me...

The Envoy: mekkab: //does anyone under 30 even remember that?

They farking should do.

/I taped Larry Lester's buns together.

THAT WAS YOU?

mekkab: wildcardjack: This triple list fails for not having Air Traffic Controller under the stressful category.

/Professionally trained to yell at airplanes.

for reals? So you know the VFR On Top isn't actually a VFR clearance? (that one gets all the newbs!)

Enroute? Tracon? Tower?


/depending on your answer, I may/may not be one of the guys that makes your life worse
//especially this weekend if you are west of the mighty Mississippi

You won't be able to bother me this weekend. I got screwed by congress not re-authorizing the FAA for so long they couldn't hire me before I went over their hire age limit. So I went back to dealing books like I had been and I'm much happier.

But I have a card around here saying I'm authorized to operate a VFR tower. But that was all a DoD contractor scam (new window) No one trained there actually works ATC.

minuslars: Master's degree in Chemistry. Salary of a lumberjack. Where did I go wrong.

you didnt take a job in basel switzerland working for novartis or one of the other big pharma companies, or choose to work for the military.

i know a few phds in chemistry. one ended up teaching chemistry to HS students, another ended up becoming a massage therapist.

Valarius: Believe it or not, I'm a newspaper journalism student. *Everyone* told me to switch to another job that pays better, or at least another branch of journalism.

Out of college, and I'm currently employed as a lab tech for a company that makes plastic liner for mining companies. I work between 40 and 72 hours a week, sometimes more. My paycheck is at minimum 400 a week, and my boss wants to hire me full time for more money.

I'd rather be a reporter living on food stamps.

No, no, no, dear sweet jebus no.
Do not proceed another step toward the newspapers or journalism.
It's a defunct, low profession AT ALL LEVELS, is not secure and will not provide for you, either emotionally or financially. At the local levels, it's a skinflint operation at best, at higher levels, it's under corporate prerogatives that are simply not compatible with honest reporting. So you'll be faced with "sorry no raises because of the price of newsprint is up and ad revenues are waaay down;" or "we don't do that here."

Save your soul. Don't go there.

/Worked at local and national papers for a decade. Got out before it killed me.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay. (new window)

Actually, I have the best job in the world. Suck it, haters.

YouSirAreAMaroon: Don't you mostly just sit around the club house and play COD? It does sound pretty sweet, especially when you consider retiring at 40 with a full pension.

OK, dammit, you got me. I do play COD online. But, when the alarm goes off, I can work harder than all of the 20 "best" jobs combined...so, I call that a fair tradeoff.

As for retiring at 40 - not happening...at least for me anyway. My captain had 35 years of service under his belt and retired in his early 50's (53? 55? I can't remember)...but you have to realize that 35 years of being exposed to all kinds of deadly toxins does take it's toll on the human body.

There is an increased incidence among firefighters of leukemia, multiple myeloma, non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, bladder cancer, brain cancer, testicular cancer, prostate cancer, large intestine cancer and skin cancers compared to other workers.

So, you may retire early, but you also are very likely to check out early too.

/Now, where's my PS3 controller?!?

Sid_6.7: At one of my last jobs the senior executive IT guy had made a ton of money as part of some startup that they managed to sell back before the tech bubble burst around 2000. He had had some big, impressive, shiny title at his last job, but the problem was that it was a company with about 6 employees, so he didn't know how to do a damn thing. He drove a Porsche, which started looking particularly douchey back in 2008 when they started laying people off. I got out of there ASAP.

Our old IT guy had been CIO at Haggar (the pants company).

I'm the finance guy and they ended up coming to me for IT advice. Still do actually.

Nearly every single one of those "most stressful" jobs requires working for someone else. A paycheck every week.

Try being a self employed artist.

kendelrio: Also, equal time is 14 days on 14 days off.

Not a bad living for 6 months out of the year. You also have "work overs" where you work extra time, well bonuses, safety bonuses, completion bonuses and retention bonuses.

/but no discount on gas.....

Don't forget the bonus of the occasional rig exploding like an atomic bomb. Because burning to death is a blast.

I am now a software engineer. I feel deserve this because I also spent time as an enlisted soldier.

For some reason, I have known a few pilots, none of them were ever stressed and loved their jobs.

If I had to spend my life as or around actuaries, i'd rather chop farking trees and wear a bra.

Sol Invicti: Anyone else doubt that airline pilot is seriously one of the most stressful jobs? I'm sure any one of the customer service agents at the ticketing counter or the gate would GLADLY trade places with a glorified bus driver...

As a pilot for 20 years, I know that a job as a pilot is EXTREMELY stressful.
Never home, long days, limited exercise, and constant threat of career failure due to company bankruptcy and loss of medical certification. You're not being paid to fly the airplane, you are paid to manage the operation from the cockpit. Flying the plane is 10% of the job.

Unless you work for Fedex or Southwest for 12 years, you life usually sucks.

Regional airlines are known throughout the industry for being hell holes as are charter and corporate operations. And don't even get me started about cargo operations (except FedEx)

So about 2-5% of pilots are $100k+ working a week a month.
The rest will drain your soul.

I left IT management to go back into software engineering (contract). My pay is higher, and I don't have to deal with the BS.

/leadership follows you home at night.

Father_Jack: ruled by little head, ok ill take that one, shoe/fits wear it etc, but big head? was just stating how i saw it.

Sorry, that wasn't meant as an insult, the "big head" was simply referring to your head and its relative size compared to the head of your penis! Unless you have one farking weird helmet....

Wow, my job is at the top? No wonder most of you are half insane. You have my sympathies.

Most Stressful Jobs
Enlisted Soldier - okay
Firefighter - okay
Airline Pilot - okay
Military General - meh
Police Officer - okay
Event Coordinator - meh
Public Relations Executive - go fark yourself
Corporate Executive (Senior) - go fark yourself
Photojournalist - meh
Taxi Driver - yeah but Jodie Foster

I work in TV news on the production side. It can be stressful - or, at least it sounds stressful, judging by all the yelling the directors, td's and producers do - but there's only so much you can do behind a camera, so most of the time I don't stress out despite what's going on around me.

SBinRR: Best job: One you love.
Worst job: One you hate.

Here endeth the lesson.

You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.

I see social worker is missing from the list.

/long hours, stressful work, shiatty pay

Best Jobs
Software Engineer - maybe
Actuary - boring
Human Resources Manager - boring
Dental Hygienist - boring
Financial Planner - boring to maybe
Audiologist - not enough data
Occupational Therapist - kinda cool
Online Advertising Manager - boring and despicable
Computer Systems Analyst - maybe
Mathematician - Aspergeriffic!

Jadedgrl: I see social worker is missing from the list.

/long hours, stressful work, shiatty pay

No respect.

Mock26: All the butchers at my butcher shop do not act like they are doing the 9th worst job in the world. Heck, they look like they are doing the 9th best job in the world.

Those are retail. The article may be referring to slaughterhouse workers.

The Envoy: Sorry subby, I don't know what it's like in the States, but here in the UK HR is the backwater where dimwit PA's who think they're smarter than they actually are end up. I deal with HR departments at all my clients and I find them to be 99% filled with vacuous, lazy, stupid, opinionated, ignorant and supercilious biatches, whether it's a government department or a private company.

My first job out of Uni was temping in HR, then I went permanent and then blagged my way onto the graduate IT training programme. The Head of HR came up to me when I told him I was leaving and congratulated me on getting out of HR admin. When even the boss thinks your job sucks and is dead-end then it's time to leave.

The problem, it seems to me, is that anybody who is intelligent and capable gets promoted, anybody who is stupid and incapable gets left behind in one of the most depressing jobs it is possible to have, on very low pay.

So yes, at the bottom of the ladder you have idiots who are stuck and bright people who are desperate to escape.

/having said that, it did have its moments, such as people ringing HR to say, "I arrived 15 minutes early this morning - how do I claim overtime?" and "My colleague gave me a lift to the training session and claimed petrol allowance for using his car. Can I claim petrol allowance for travelling with him?"

How is Butcher stressful? I've not done it commercially but chopping big chunks of meat into easy-to-cook hunks is actually pretty fun... So long as they stop screaming ... wait, you didn't need to know that!

fusillade762: #2. Actuary

So deciding who gets lifesaving medical treatments and who doesn't is a great job? Is it populated primarily by psychopaths?

Sociopaths mostly. The psychopaths are in management.

Their methodology seems to have a heavy bias toward cubicle jobs.

Worst Jobs
Lumberjack - call me leftie
Dairy Farmer - ain't been right since that kck to the head
Enlisted Military Soldier- KIA
Oil Rig Worker - cripple
Reporter (Newspaper) - 19th century jobs are cool!
Waiter/Waitress - spitting in food is you only reward
Meter Reader - mace and gun ... Not so bad
Dishwasher - ain't nothing but a good time
Butcher - my guy likes his job and he gets to bone Alice
Broadcaster - WTF seriously?

The businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The businessman complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

The businessman then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; I have a full and busy life, señor."

The businessman scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you would run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But señor, how long will this all take?" To which the businessman replied, "15-20 years." "But what then, señor?" The businessman laughed and said, "That's the best part! When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions." "Millions, señor? Then what?" The businessman said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Nifty. I grew up with the #2 most stressful, studied for the #1 best, and work on the #9 best.

/milking cows SUUUUUUUCKS
//tractors are fun, though

Mugato: Most stressful

Corporate Executive (Senior)

Depends on the company and how successful it is, I guess. But sitting around not doing dick can't be too stressful in either case. Maybe they include the ass kissing to get there.

I'd say this really depends. In some companies, you're going to have the one executive who is essentially responsible for everything, while the rest of them are jerkoffs. The responsible one is usually the lowest paid.

ghostfacekillahrabbit:

All I'm saying is if the guy in Fight Club had the second best job in the world, then I'm either worried about civilization, or more worried than usual about Chuck Pahlaniak


So, you don't actually know what an actuary is then?

Hint: It's not an insurance adjuster

herrDrFarkenstein: Most Stressful Jobs
Corporate Executive (Senior) - go fark yourself


In all fairness, the higher up you go in the chain, the more stuff you can be blamed for and the less control you actually directly have over it. Try leading a team of people, knowing that a third of them are farkups, and ultimately being held accountable for their work product.

Of course, executive compensation more than pays for it, unlike other jobs on the list, but it is stressful.

pkellmey: Riche: What? No middle school teacher under most stressful?

Looking at the list, not even close.
//Really, event coordinator? I guess that is mostly around the small period of time in their jobs that the event is actually occurring, but from the laid back event coordinators that I know, it is very strange to see it on the list.

I would imagine that it is stressful in certain areas or if you work for clients that have some huge grand ballroom event built up in their head with a trailer budget then they have to work around that. I don't know if you have ever tried to tell a woman she can't have something but it ain't pretty.

Most Stressful Jobs: Event Coordinator

Did that for 6 or 7 years. Yes, there was a fair amount of stress but that was principally due to people who owned the business. There were, however, many periods of 14 - 20 hour days where something went horrifically wrong and we needed to sort it all out before the audience walked in.

The business class flights and 5 star hotels across Asia, South America, Europe and the US made it more bearable.

BumpInTheNight: *narrows eyes*

Wait, that's not why interns are kept around?

Well then, I'll brb need to go visit HR.

Had a friend who worked for a record company and that's pretty much what the interns were there for. I swung by for lunch once and he mentioned I looked stressed and asked if I wanted one the interns to blow me. I swear to god he said it exactly as if he were offering me a cup of the office coffee.

HotIgneous Intruder: kendelrio: Also, equal time is 14 days on 14 days off.

Not a bad living for 6 months out of the year. You also have "work overs" where you work extra time, well bonuses, safety bonuses, completion bonuses and retention bonuses.

/but no discount on gas.....

Don't forget the bonus of the occasional rig exploding like an atomic bomb. Because burning to death is a blast.

An anomaly. Look at the man hours worked versus fatalities and you'll see you have about as much chance of that as winning the lottery or being struck by lightening.

/also, I worked on the Deepwater Horizon for a hitch, was one of the first responders and was on the crew that shut it in, so I'm not some Monday morning/armchair quarterback.

tdunning: ghostfacekillahrabbit:

All I'm saying is if the guy in Fight Club had the second best job in the world, then I'm either worried about civilization, or more worried than usual about Chuck Pahlaniak


So, you don't actually know what an actuary is then?

Hint: It's not an insurance adjuster

Heh, having worked in insurance I always labeled the actuaries as the "people who prevented us from doing anything innovative". It's their job to be exceptionally risk-adverse.

kendelrio: Bad_Seed: kendelrio: Keep in mind "oil rig worker" refers to roustabouts. (n00bs). Like any other job, the longer you put in, the more knowledge you get, the better your pay.

After 5-7 years it's entirely possible to be making anywhere from 50-70k working equal time.

50-70k? After 5-7 years? In a dirty, dangerous job away from home for weeks at a time? That's a pretty shiatty profession.

You haven't been on any of the new oil rigs have you?

Dangerous, relatively, away from home? Not that bad. Dirty? By no stretch of the imagination.

Granted, there are some nasty rigs, by by and large they are cleaner than your house.

Not sure exactly what Bad_Seed does, but that much money for someone with little/no college education isn't bad at all. Keep in mind too that the money is all 100% profit, you have zero living expenses when you're living on the rig/barge.

Typically, btw, the workers I meet are Malaysian or from some other Indonesian country. They get paid about $30 a day.

minuslars: Master's degree in Chemistry. Salary of a lumberjack. Where did I go wrong.

You sound like a buddy of mine, engineering degree from Georgia Tech and makes less than most of our friends who didn't finish college. Basically he says he does what he's told and he got pissed when I told him that's his problem, he didn't get it and that may be your problem. If you aren't making the money you expect then ask your boss what he expects to make what you would like, be specific and if he tells you there is no way or has no clue then you should just find a new job.

drjekel_mrhyde: Tech support?

That entirely depends on the company and customers.

If management is full of opportunist douchebags or the customer base is filled with people that have no business using a computer to begin with then your life is going to be hellish.

But if you have managers that are good and support their staff and appreciate them and the customers are generally well-informed and intelligent then you're in a good spot and can really enjoy the work.

The best advice I can give anyone in Tech Support is to get comfortable writing walkthru's that the dumbest customer could use successfully. Make ten of them for your ten most common issues. You will typically reduce your workload by 50%.

I guess Key Grip is too much of a niche job to be considered for this list, but where else do you get to watch people jump off of buildings, and rig lights & other film equipment dangerously overhead of actors all while getting paid to be there. I love my job, but it can get super stressful sometimes.

Software engineering ftw...

Of course I also had plenty of jobs on the worse and stressful list in my younger days too. The joys of being a broke college kid, needing money to pay the rent.