Granolabar: BurnShrike: You seem rather nice yourself, but you're not ever driving my car.

Oh come on! It was years ago!
Besides, I thought we agreed it wasn't my fault.

Yes, but I'm afraid my car doesn't feel the same way. It doesn't want to die in a fiery wreck.

BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: You seem rather nice yourself, but you're not ever driving my car.

Oh come on! It was years ago!
Besides, I thought we agreed it wasn't my fault.

Yes, but I'm afraid my car doesn't feel the same way. It doesn't want to die in a fiery wreck.

There was no fire! I only hit it at like.. 5mph. Or... 10? I'm not sure. I wasn't really looking at the dashboard.

Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: You seem rather nice yourself, but you're not ever driving my car.

Oh come on! It was years ago!
Besides, I thought we agreed it wasn't my fault.

Yes, but I'm afraid my car doesn't feel the same way. It doesn't want to die in a fiery wreck.

There was no fire! I only hit it at like.. 5mph. Or... 10? I'm not sure. I wasn't really looking at the dashboard.

I think that goes without saying. You don't appear to have been looking at anything else either.

chaosweaver: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Lip gloss. I believe it was lip gloss I was applying, not eyeliner. There's a difference, you know.

Was it one of the flavoured kinds? Because that's perfectly acceptable if it was.

Strawberry, I think. And sparkly. Definitely the sparkly kind.

We're done here. That gas station assaulted you and vandalized your car.

Hahaha. I like you.
Unfortunately, it wasn't my car. And the car's owner didn't seem to believe the Kwik Trip was the problem.

Kwik trip is always the problem.

/just be glad it wasn't a Kum n' Go, they get rape rapey.

You said rape twice.

The technicolor drama bullshiat is never worth it. It gives a brief rush of emotional satisfaction that could be better spent on seducing his next girlfriend into a threesome---with his best buddy.

Ah, those things we think of that we wouldn't ever really do.... {evil grin}

BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: You seem rather nice yourself, but you're not ever driving my car.

Oh come on! It was years ago!
Besides, I thought we agreed it wasn't my fault.

Yes, but I'm afraid my car doesn't feel the same way. It doesn't want to die in a fiery wreck.

There was no fire! I only hit it at like.. 5mph. Or... 10? I'm not sure. I wasn't really looking at the dashboard.

I think that goes without saying. You don't appear to have been looking at anything else either.

Not true! I was looking at my rearview mirror.

Granolabar: Not true! I was looking at my rearview mirror.

Here.

Granolabar: chaosweaver: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Lip gloss. I believe it was lip gloss I was applying, not eyeliner. There's a difference, you know.

Was it one of the flavoured kinds? Because that's perfectly acceptable if it was.

Strawberry, I think. And sparkly. Definitely the sparkly kind.

We're done here. That gas station assaulted you and vandalized your car.

Hahaha. I like you.
Unfortunately, it wasn't my car. And the car's owner didn't seem to believe the Kwik Trip was the problem.

Kwik trip is always the problem.

/just be glad it wasn't a Kum n' Go, they get rape rapey.

You said rape twice.

Only to specify that it was the bad type of rape.

/also, I like rape.
//said it twice again. Oops.

BurnShrike: Granolabar: Not true! I was looking at my rearview mirror.

Here.

[www.laughness.com image 340x461]

Now that's not very nice. And here I thought we were friends.

Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Not true! I was looking at my rearview mirror.

Here.

[www.laughness.com image 340x461]

Now that's not very nice. And here I thought we were friends.

We are. Friends help each other. I'm helping you not crash any more cars into stationary objects.

BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Not true! I was looking at my rearview mirror.

Here.

[www.laughness.com image 340x461]

Now that's not very nice. And here I thought we were friends.

We are. Friends help each other. I'm helping you not crash any more cars into stationary objects.

I thought the stationary object assaulted me and vandalized my car. What happened to that?

Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Not true! I was looking at my rearview mirror.

Here.

[www.laughness.com image 340x461]

Now that's not very nice. And here I thought we were friends.

We are. Friends help each other. I'm helping you not crash any more cars into stationary objects.

I thought the stationary object assaulted me and vandalized my car. What happened to that?

Wait, who's the woman here again? Why are you making more sense than I am?

BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Not true! I was looking at my rearview mirror.

Here.

[www.laughness.com image 340x461]

Now that's not very nice. And here I thought we were friends.

We are. Friends help each other. I'm helping you not crash any more cars into stationary objects.

I thought the stationary object assaulted me and vandalized my car. What happened to that?

Wait, who's the woman here again? Why are you making more sense than I am?

Ah yes, Little known fact. The fairer sex is also the more logical sex.
But don't feel bad, at least you can claim to be better drivers.

Granolabar: Ah yes, Little known fact. The fairer sex is also the more logical sex.
But don't feel bad, at least you can claim to be better drivers.

You're only the "fairer" sex because we got sick of all the biatching and gave up arguing.

BurnShrike: Granolabar: Ah yes, Little known fact. The fairer sex is also the more logical sex.
But don't feel bad, at least you can claim to be better drivers.

You're only the "fairer" sex because we got sick of all the biatching and gave up arguing.

Huh. I thought we were the fairer sex because we look so much better naked than men do.

Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Ah yes, Little known fact. The fairer sex is also the more logical sex.
But don't feel bad, at least you can claim to be better drivers.

You're only the "fairer" sex because we got sick of all the biatching and gave up arguing.

Huh. I thought we were the fairer sex because we look so much better naked than men do.

I certainly can't argue with that. Men got all the wrinkly, hairy, knobbly pieces. Women got all the smooth, curvy ones. It's not fair, but what're ya gonna do?

BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Ah yes, Little known fact. The fairer sex is also the more logical sex.
But don't feel bad, at least you can claim to be better drivers.

You're only the "fairer" sex because we got sick of all the biatching and gave up arguing.

Huh. I thought we were the fairer sex because we look so much better naked than men do.

I certainly can't argue with that. Men got all the wrinkly, hairy, knobbly pieces. Women got all the smooth, curvy ones. It's not fair, but what're ya gonna do?

Damn skippy it's not fair. You all get to look at your partner's smooth curvy parts. We have to look at the wrinkly, hairy, knobbly pieces.
Why do you think women like the lights out when we have sex?

BurnShrike: Granolabar: Not true! I was looking at my rearview mirror.

Here.

[www.laughness.com image 340x461]

Hey, they just found the salvation for the reliant round robin..

Granolabar: Damn skippy it's not fair. You all get to look at your partner's smooth curvy parts. We have to look at the wrinkly, hairy, knobbly pieces.
Why do you think women like the lights out when we have sex?

So you can fall asleep while we finish things up?

BurnShrike: Granolabar: Damn skippy it's not fair. You all get to look at your partner's smooth curvy parts. We have to look at the wrinkly, hairy, knobbly pieces.
Why do you think women like the lights out when we have sex?

So you can fall asleep while we finish things up?

...fall asleep?
You're....doing it wrong.

Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Damn skippy it's not fair. You all get to look at your partner's smooth curvy parts. We have to look at the wrinkly, hairy, knobbly pieces.
Why do you think women like the lights out when we have sex?

So you can fall asleep while we finish things up?

...fall asleep?
You're....doing it wrong.

None of my teachers in school taught me the correct method.

BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Damn skippy it's not fair. You all get to look at your partner's smooth curvy parts. We have to look at the wrinkly, hairy, knobbly pieces.
Why do you think women like the lights out when we have sex?

So you can fall asleep while we finish things up?

...fall asleep?
You're....doing it wrong.

None of my teachers in school taught me the correct method.

Go back to school. The headlines tell me they do things differently now.

Sounds to me like he wants you to teach him.

Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Damn skippy it's not fair. You all get to look at your partner's smooth curvy parts. We have to look at the wrinkly, hairy, knobbly pieces.
Why do you think women like the lights out when we have sex?

So you can fall asleep while we finish things up?

...fall asleep?
You're....doing it wrong.

None of my teachers in school taught me the correct method.

Go back to school. The headlines tell me they do things differently now.

School and I were never a good fit. Now that I'm done, I won't be returning. Besides, I'm an old man.

I do all my learning on my own now. It works better that way.

chaosweaver: Sounds to me like he wants you to teach him.

Just what kind of girl do you think I am?!

BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Lip gloss. I believe it was lip gloss I was applying, not eyeliner. There's a difference, you know.

Was it one of the flavoured kinds? Because that's perfectly acceptable if it was.

Strawberry, I think. And sparkly. Definitely the sparkly kind.

We're done here. That gas station assaulted you and vandalized your car.



Kind of like this bank assaulted the sedan that was in the left of two same-direction lanes, yet decided to make a right hand turn directly in front of a pickup truck.

Driver was incredibly lucky that his pregnant fiance passenger was apparently ok (as far as I knew, I never heard a followup).

ladyfortuna: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Lip gloss. I believe it was lip gloss I was applying, not eyeliner. There's a difference, you know.

Was it one of the flavoured kinds? Because that's perfectly acceptable if it was.

Strawberry, I think. And sparkly. Definitely the sparkly kind.

We're done here. That gas station assaulted you and vandalized your car.

[i391.photobucket.com image 320x240]

Kind of like this bank assaulted the sedan that was in the left of two same-direction lanes, yet decided to make a right hand turn directly in front of a pickup truck.

Driver was incredibly lucky that his pregnant fiance passenger was apparently ok (as far as I knew, I never heard a followup).

No, not at all like that. You see, I was going straight when I hit the gas station, not turning. And my pregnant fiance wasn't in the car at the time. So really, they're completely different scenarios.

I just saw some dumbfark sideswipe a telephone pole, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Maybe she was just trying to return his favorite...uh...hairbrush.

Are you sure its not just because she is a woman driver?

Let's see... go with The Big Lebowski bowling references or try my 'how YOU doin' skills on an apparently-unattached farkette?

I guess neither. Not how I roll.

I will make this observation however. The facebook 'Relationship Status' field is something I've never used and never will. I figure that's a boundary that I respect not only for myself but for the person with whom I may (or may no longer) be in a relationship.

To share that stuff publicly is a total dick move. Not that the guy deserved to have his car trashed for it, but I can kind of understand why she did it (even if it reeks of teh crazee.)

I'm feeling peckish.. I could eat a granola bar about now.
/totally hammered
//sorry for the creeper comment
///slashies!

canwolfshadow: I'm feeling peckish.. I could eat a granola bar about now.
/totally hammered
//sorry for the creeper comment
///slashies!

"peckish" you don't hear that enough.

Never give the impression that you're headed for a break-up until your car and everything that you most care about is back within your possession.

I hope this idiot learned his lesson. "Gee, she still has my car keys, the password to my ebay account, as well as access to my credit card. WELL I'm sure she'll be perfectly reasonable. I'll just change my facebook status now."

Granolabar: ladyfortuna: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: Lip gloss. I believe it was lip gloss I was applying, not eyeliner. There's a difference, you know.

Was it one of the flavoured kinds? Because that's perfectly acceptable if it was.

Strawberry, I think. And sparkly. Definitely the sparkly kind.

We're done here. That gas station assaulted you and vandalized your car.

[i391.photobucket.com image 320x240]

Kind of like this bank assaulted the sedan that was in the left of two same-direction lanes, yet decided to make a right hand turn directly in front of a pickup truck.

Driver was incredibly lucky that his pregnant fiance passenger was apparently ok (as far as I knew, I never heard a followup).

No, not at all like that. You see, I was going straight when I hit the gas station, not turning. And my pregnant fiance wasn't in the car at the time. So really, they're completely different scenarios.

Well, if it makes you feel better...when I was in 6th grade I ran my bicycle square-on-perpendicular into the side of the school bus. Having my momentum completely stopped by the bus left me free to fall over sideways into the ditch.
I never really lived that down, but I did move away and there was no facebook then.

My ex girlfriend loves bowling and dumped me via Facebook. I never thought to drive her car through a bowling alley. Damnit, I could've made Fark.

And people ask me why I don't have a facebook.

Spaced Lion: And people ask me why I don't have a facebook.

But, do you have a Twitter account?

rebelyell2006: She should be locked up for the attempted homicide of the people in the bowling alley.

Well, with all the bricks and car parts that need to be picked up now I vote they take her in for litterin'... and creatin' a nuisance.

Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: BurnShrike: Granolabar: /Drove into the side of a gas station once. But it wasn't my fault!

It never is, hon. It never is.

No, really! Damn thing came out of nowhere...

They can move very quickly, and jump out when you're putting on eye liner and texting your BFF

Lip gloss. I believe it was lip gloss I was applying, not eyeliner. There's a difference, you know.

Was it one of the flavoured kinds? Because that's perfectly acceptable if it was.

Strawberry, I think. And sparkly. Definitely the sparkly kind.

Ohhh. My g/f in 8th grade wore sparkley strawberry lipgloss.

/she was a slut
//just not with me.... :(
///miss the 80s
////not really
/x5 JUNIOR HIGH SLASHIES!!!

what the cat dragged in: Let's see... go with The Big Lebowski bowling references or try my 'how YOU doin' skills on an apparently-unattached farkette?

She's only unattached because the firefighters used the jaws of life to remove the gas station from the front of her car.

teeny: Never give the impression that you're headed for a break-up until your car and everything that you most care about is back within your possession.

I hope this idiot learned his lesson. "Gee, she still has my car keys, the password to my ebay account, as well as access to my credit card. WELL I'm sure she'll be perfectly reasonable. I'll just change my facebook status now."

It sounds like both of them are crazy...or just terrible at making life choices. What would possess someone to be so passive aggressive like breaking up with someone by changing their fb status w/o telling the other person that it's over first? What kind of asshat-ery is that?

People, changing your status in Facebook instead of breaking up with the person is a cowardly way to go about it. In fact txt, email, and phone calls are not appropriate in most circumstances (I give a pass to long distance relationships or people who haven't even spoken for a month, but want closure). Just take them to a nice restaurant, say your done, and move on. If they make a scene in front of strangers (and hopefully have enough class they don't) who cares? And if they start throwing things at least you have lots of witnesses.

hailin: People, changing your status in Facebook instead of breaking up with the person is a cowardly way to go about it. In fact txt, email, and phone calls are not appropriate in most circumstances (I give a pass to long distance relationships or people who haven't even spoken for a month, but want closure). Just take them to a nice restaurant, say your done, and move on. If they make a scene in front of strangers (and hopefully have enough class they don't) who cares? And if they start throwing things at least you have lots of witnesses.

No no no. I really don't think a public place is a good location to break up with someone. I agree that it should be done face-to-face, but there can be some very strong emotions involved and doing it in public is just asking for a scene.

I once broke up with a girl who only changed her relationship status to "It's complicated" as a result of the breakup until I changed mine to single. Facebook official is serious business.

/csb