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(CNN)   ♪ Ground control to Major Dong ♪   (cnn.com) divider line 376
    More: News, North Koreans, United States, United Nations Security Council, Kim Il Sung, rocket launch, Security Council resolutions, ballistic missiles, Kyodo News  
•       •       •

29515 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2012 at 8:21 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-12 08:54:42 PM
Here's the fate of Major Dong:
mattcornell.org

/too soon?
 
2012-04-12 08:55:09 PM
AverageAmericanGuy,America's not that much better. It imprisons people at a rate far above any modern country. It restricts free speech to limited "zones" and speech can be curtailed by the government for any reason. The police are thugs. The military is used to spread American imperialism across the world. And America attacks countries against the will of the international community and based on the most specious of evidence.

Killjoy.

/USA, USA, USA, USA. Comeon everyone, Axis of evil Korea just miserably failed. USA, USA, USA.
 
2012-04-12 08:56:40 PM

Dalek Caan's doomed mistress: Apparently someone didn't read Wernher von Braun's notes closely enough. Oops.


"That's not my department"
Said Werner von Braun
"I make rocket go up
Don't know where it comes down."
 
2012-04-12 08:57:07 PM
AverageAmericanGuy:

Are you retarded? We're looking at at least two orders magnitude of difference here. Damn.
 
2012-04-12 08:57:59 PM
American propaganda is just as silly as everyone elses.
 
2012-04-12 08:58:10 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: The military is used to spread American imperialism across the world. And America attacks countries against the will of the international community and based on the most specious of evidence.


The Melians made the same argument. The US is just like every other hyperpower in the past 4000 years.
 
2012-04-12 08:58:28 PM

Readysteadystop: Are you retarded? We're looking at at least two orders magnitude of difference here. Damn.


He's an Average American Guy. So yes I'd say he's retarded.
 
2012-04-12 08:58:46 PM
Bigjohn3592,Absolutely, it's out in the boneyard. Definitely. The 747 that left? That one carries the space shuttle. Yep

I am thinking the beta design is in the boneyard.

/Thanks for the information.
 
2012-04-12 08:58:47 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I wonder how much food aid was burned per meter of this rocket's flight.


Good thing it was a short flight
 
2012-04-12 08:59:02 PM

Enemabag Jones: naughtyrev ,So now they'll just test another nuke to compensate for this failure. Probably also say we (or someone else) shot it down because we were afraid of them.

Who is to say that we didn't? Could have happened either way.

BrokenToilet,[Boeing Laser image]
*Whistles nonchalantly*

Does any know if we do have the technology to take out an ICBM on the upshot if given time to prepare?


We barely have the technology to land a blackhawk helicopter.
 
2012-04-12 08:59:34 PM
AverageAmericanGuy : Both sides are bad, so vote North Korean?
 
2012-04-12 09:00:59 PM

davidphogan: I'm sure the DPRK news is reporting the rocket flew higher than any rocket ever, and made the American Imperialists has a sad.


I'm sure that they will spin this as a great success.

It's all about Grandpa's birthday this month anyway.
 
2012-04-12 09:01:19 PM
R.I.P. DONG HO


www.zillow.com
 
2012-04-12 09:01:37 PM
Accusations that the US or one of its allies shot it down in 5......4.......3..... (new window)
 
2012-04-12 09:01:45 PM

Mad Scientist:


That pic made me laugh so damn hard
 
2012-04-12 09:02:17 PM
Why have we not flattened that sh*thole of a country yet? I do not think anything of value would be lost.

(yes I know why. They could flatten Seoul in a short time.)

What a shame...
 
2012-04-12 09:02:41 PM
Best Korea did not pay the extortion Blofeld demanded and he toppled the rocket.
Diamonds Are Forever....
 
2012-04-12 09:03:52 PM

KangTheMad: On a slightly more serious note, I feel bad for those North Korean scientists. A few of them are going to disappear, I bet.


Didn't they kill some of their sports coaches/players for poor performance? This has got to be at least as big an embarrassment.
 
2012-04-12 09:03:55 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: What a failed Glorious Success launch might look like in Best Korea:

[i.imgur.com image 423x270]



And here we see a rather large example of a North Korean dong. Note the sparse pubes, which is a prime indicator of starvation and impoverishment. Clearly this specimen was born into the ruthless aristocracy of North Korea, then thrust out into the lower society. The reasons for this could be many, but the main reason for such an act is the mating ritual. Yes, the North Koreans have a marvelous mating ritual. They flaunt and display their junk with pride, strutting about, imitating the male peacock to impress the women. The Alpha male of Korea is a rather jealous fellow, and he will often cast out those he deems a threat to his manhood. [/David Attenborough]
 
2012-04-12 09:04:26 PM

Unhip1: Accusations that the US or one of its allies shot it down in 5......4.......3..... (new window)


That missile was not shut down, it failed, and I was never here.
 
2012-04-12 09:05:19 PM
The only bad thing about this I can think of is that some poor sod in North Korea whose job it is to put together old Soviet missile technology with scotch tape and stuff from the Radio Shack bargain bin is going to end up in a North Korean concentration camp with his family.
 
2012-04-12 09:05:34 PM

b2theory: Great! They can't feed there people anything better than boiled bark and grass, but they've got money to blow failing to put things into orbit?


They ignore the needs of their people, and put huge amounts of money into their military. Kind've the extreme version of America's budget issues.
 
2012-04-12 09:05:43 PM
Heh heh.. a big WIN for subby and an epic FAIL for the DPRK.

Sorry, best Korea, better luck next time!
 
2012-04-12 09:05:45 PM
farm4.staticflickr.com

Oblig.
 
2012-04-12 09:05:47 PM

Kevin72: North Korea is the worst country in the world. Its people are starving. But food aid goes to its military. It has ¼ million people in concentration camps and prison camps. If anyone speaks out against the government, the entire family to three generations gets arrested and sent to the gulags. Worst country ever.


Really? I thought it was a paradise.

/If you were trolling, I bit.
 
2012-04-12 09:06:13 PM
People who know are doubting that this could have worked anyway. Their rocket consists of basically of several of their "dong" rockets strapped together for the first stage, with one or two for the second and third stages. The rocket most likely does not have anywhere near enough impulse to launch into a polar orbit from their latitude (39 degrees), and the satellite that they showed did not appear to have any on orbit maneuvering ability to change it's orbit into a more polar one. So their "polar orbit" plan was out to begin with. In addition they have extreme difficulty getting any telemetry from their rockets, with no network of ground stations and certainly no in orbit satellite net to gather it. Maybe they have a few boats to help, but not much. They probably have no idea what went wrong, presumably staging like all their previous failures.
 
2012-04-12 09:06:26 PM

Kyro: [i597.photobucket.com image 333x261]

 
2012-04-12 09:06:27 PM

Enemabag Jones: AverageAmericanGuy,America's not that much better. It imprisons people at a rate far above any modern country. It restricts free speech to limited "zones" and speech can be curtailed by the government for any reason. The police are thugs. The military is used to spread American imperialism across the world. And America attacks countries against the will of the international community and based on the most specious of evidence.

Killjoy.

/USA, USA, USA, USA. Comeon everyone, Axis of evil Korea just miserably failed. USA, USA, USA.


Ok, yeah, have you seen NASA lately?
 
2012-04-12 09:06:30 PM
I'm more curious about the 8 foot giant at around 36 seconds in the video.
 
2012-04-12 09:06:34 PM
images.halloweenmasks.com

... heard chuckling.
 
2012-04-12 09:07:19 PM

desertfool: Kevin72: North Korea is the worst country in the world. Its people are starving. But food aid goes to its military. It has ¼ million people in concentration camps and prison camps. If anyone speaks out against the government, the entire family to three generations gets arrested and sent to the gulags. Worst country ever.

Really? I thought it was a paradise.

/If you were trolling, I bit.


Me too. I'm sad. :^(
 
2012-04-12 09:08:01 PM

muck1969: North Korea vs Evil Genius
[i40.tinypic.com image 640x244]


Ah evil genius. SO MANY nights spent working on my evil lair. I may have to reinstall that now.
 
2012-04-12 09:08:02 PM

remus: KangTheMad: On a slightly more serious note, I feel bad for those North Korean scientists. A few of them are going to disappear, I bet.

Didn't they kill some of their sports coaches/players for poor performance? This has got to be at least as big an embarrassment.


I think they wanted to withdraw them from the Olympics for punishment. Maybe that was Cuba, it was a while ago.
 
2012-04-12 09:08:16 PM
Did it come down straight or on a slant ?
 
2012-04-12 09:08:18 PM

Charlie Freak: The Mythbusters make better rockets out of salami.


Hey, Jamie!!!!
 
2012-04-12 09:08:36 PM

remus: KangTheMad: On a slightly more serious note, I feel bad for those North Korean scientists. A few of them are going to disappear, I bet.

Didn't they kill some of their sports coaches/players for poor performance? This has got to be at least as big an embarrassment.


It was their soccer team. I don't think that they killed them outright, but they did have to attend a public shaming that lasted for about 8 hours up on a stage, and the coach got demoted to manure transport duty or something.
 
2012-04-12 09:08:38 PM
There's a reporter on the news right now saying that he and dozens of other reporters had been gathered in a room in Pyongyang, presumably to be told by an official that their rocket launch was a success. The reporters heard from their news desks that the launch had failed and a little while later the North Korean "keeper" of the journalists excitedly came in and said they were all being brought to a music festival. Apparently all the reporters looked at him like he was nuts, he was asked about the rocket and gave a blank stare and then nearly ran out of the room.
 
2012-04-12 09:08:43 PM
That H/L just won an Awesome Award.
 
2012-04-12 09:08:50 PM

ZenBrony: Huh... You mean bailing wire and recycled 8086 processors don't make for great rockets? Weird.


You know, our early rockets didn't even have that.
 
2012-04-12 09:09:19 PM

Howser: Did it come down straight or on a slant slope ?


Fixed.
 
2012-04-12 09:09:32 PM

9beers: Shot down in a blaze of glory.


That's my bet.
 
2012-04-12 09:09:58 PM

Rufus Lee King: [www.contactmusic.com image 480x360]


+1
 
2012-04-12 09:10:21 PM

SharkTrager: You know, our early rockets didn't even have that.


That's true. In fact, early attempts at solving problems of ballistics involved analog circuitry.
 
2012-04-12 09:10:21 PM
FAIL tag out for coffee?
 
2012-04-12 09:10:34 PM

humanshrapnel: Howser: Did it come down straight or on a slant slope ?

Fixed.


There was a nip in the air.
 
2012-04-12 09:11:33 PM
IronTom,Ok, yeah, have you seen NASA lately?

NASA started going down the tubes when they doing too much freight delivery for the NSA. In a smaller, smarter role they might do more actual exploration work.
 
2012-04-12 09:11:44 PM
i211.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-12 09:12:31 PM
The main question:

What taepodong was it?
 
2012-04-12 09:13:13 PM

HellRaisingHoosier: I'm sure the United States had a ton of failures as well when we were building our space program.


Plenty. Still do. Trial and error. However I'm not going hungry because of them. In fact I just got back from the grocery store. It'll be kielbasa tonight.
 
2012-04-12 09:13:25 PM

Kevin72: Dalek Caan's doomed mistress: Apparently someone didn't read Wernher von Braun's notes closely enough. Oops.

"That's not my department"
Said Werner von Braun
"I make rocket go up
Don't know where it comes down."



Those lines are backwards, but thanks for trying.

You too may be a big hero,
Once you've learned to count backwards to zero.
"In German oder English I know how to count down,
Und I'm learning Chinese," says Wernher von Braun.


Expect BestKorea to soon publish video of their first man on the moon.
 
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