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(CNN)   ♪ Ground control to Major Dong ♪   (cnn.com) divider line 376
    More: News, North Koreans, United States, United Nations Security Council, Kim Il Sung, rocket launch, Security Council resolutions, ballistic missiles, Kyodo News  
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29503 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2012 at 8:21 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-12 08:37:38 PM
naughtyrev ,So now they'll just test another nuke to compensate for this failure. Probably also say we (or someone else) shot it down because we were afraid of them.

Who is to say that we didn't? Could have happened either way.

BrokenToilet,[Boeing Laser image]
*Whistles nonchalantly*


Does any know if we do have the technology to take out an ICBM on the upshot if given time to prepare?
 
2012-04-12 08:37:42 PM
In other news, today is an extremely sad day for the Best Korea Rocket Science Department: all of our rocket scientists were in a bus returning from the launch site when they mysteriously drove off a cliff. There were no survivors.
 
2012-04-12 08:37:46 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-12 08:38:04 PM
I wonder how much food aid was burned per meter of this rocket's flight.
 
2012-04-12 08:38:27 PM
Hahahahahaha!!!!
It failed!!
 
2012-04-12 08:38:43 PM
First of all, best headline for sure.

Second of all, I have no problem believing that it may have been shot down. I also have no problem believing that they simply screwed the pooch and it blew up on its own. Either way: HA! HA!
 
2012-04-12 08:39:06 PM
I still wish it had been Jong Nam that had assumed power after Jong Il died.

We wouldn't be having to deal with this kind of Tae Kwon Do-style shows of impotent power.
 
2012-04-12 08:39:24 PM
You know, we could just start lighting up the Best Koreans from a distance. We are technically still at war.
 
2012-04-12 08:39:46 PM
I thought North Korea just used Photoshop for these occasions?
 
2012-04-12 08:39:51 PM
b2theory: Great! They can't feed there people anything better than boiled bark and grass, but they've got money to blow failing to put things into orbit?

Mmm...roasted rocket with boot sauce...nom...dibs on the engine cowling!
 
2012-04-12 08:40:13 PM
pheelix: RIP Long Duk Dong.
[www.giantrobot.com image 565x295]


I hate you.

28.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-12 08:40:13 PM
I hope someone attempts (and fails) to launch a meteorological satellite for my 100th birthday.
 
2012-04-12 08:40:18 PM
muck1969: North Korea vs Evil Genius
[i40.tinypic.com image 640x244]


Is that shot on the left for real? There is no way in hell that's a functional facility. No way there is any flow of information going on there. The rocket wasn't ever going to make it into space. They just light the candle and tip it south. The Mythbusters make better rockets out of salami.
 
2012-04-12 08:40:29 PM
fusillade762: I thought North Korea just used Photoshop for these occasions?

That's Iran.

North Korea uses water colors and pastel crayons.
 
2012-04-12 08:40:51 PM
Apparently someone didn't read Wernher von Braun's notes closely enough. Oops.
 
2012-04-12 08:40:57 PM
home.comcast.net

\for Dong problems.....
 
2012-04-12 08:41:40 PM
Dalek Caan's doomed mistress: Apparently someone didn't read Wernher von Braun's notes closely enough. Oops.

That's Brawn with a "W".
 
2012-04-12 08:41:45 PM
AverageAmericanGuy: fusillade762: I thought North Korea just used Photoshop for these occasions?

That's Iran.

North Korea uses water colors and pastel crayons.


Unless China supplies these, I would think they are using children and the elderly for their color paints.
 
2012-04-12 08:42:36 PM
Bad ruck, better ruck next time
 
2012-04-12 08:42:53 PM
Bet you that they knew that it would fail, even planned for it, so they can blame it on Western interference and use that as an excuse to set off a nuke test.
 
2012-04-12 08:43:13 PM
Was their rocket wearing a hoodie?
 
2012-04-12 08:43:17 PM
Some amateurs have reported seeing a bright green dot on the side of the missile.
 
2012-04-12 08:43:39 PM
Enemabag Jones:

Does any know if we do have the technology to take out an ICBM on the upshot if given time to prepare?


Yes.
 
2012-04-12 08:43:46 PM
HellRaisingHoosier: I'm sure the United States had a ton of failures as well when we were building our space program.

Hmmmmm... Trolling?
 
2012-04-12 08:44:09 PM
i210.photobucket.com

+1, subs!
 
2012-04-12 08:44:11 PM
remus: Was their rocket wearing a hoodie?

It was coming right for us!
 
2012-04-12 08:44:20 PM
The only guy not dead at the Best Korea rocket building facility is the guy who is hanging up the "Help Wanted-All Positions" sign. Whoops, he's dead now too.
 
2012-04-12 08:44:38 PM
sirgrim: Some amateurs have reported seeing a bright green dot on the side of the missile.

Got a source on that? Amateur what? Amateur dot spotters? Is that consistent with the color of our wacky laser planes they've been experimenting with?
 
2012-04-12 08:45:22 PM
This is a glorious occasion! In remembrance of the leadership of Eternal President Kim Il-Sung and with the hands-on guidance of Young General Kim Jong-Un, the Unha-3 hovered in the sky long enough for the people of North Korea to observe the juche-ideal advancement of North Korean rocketeering. This is a beautiful gift for the people of North Korea, who will be inspired by this technological and military success to dutifully and spontaneously build their own rockets. Comrades, launch a million virtuous North Korean rockets and let them rain down on the imperialist and decadent Japanese and American capitalists, who will be forced to pay tribute after such a terrifying display of North Korean might!
 
2012-04-12 08:46:40 PM
No, North Korea make glorious triumph in the sphere of creating much needed scrap metal for workers' paradise, despite the United States of America interference. Long live the glorious struggle against the capitalist oppressors!
 
2012-04-12 08:47:49 PM
#LAUNCHFAIL
 
2012-04-12 08:47:58 PM
LOL Launch pad!!!!111111111!!!
 
2012-04-12 08:48:16 PM
What kind of shirt does he wear?
 
2012-04-12 08:48:30 PM
North Korea is the worst country in the world. Its people are starving. But food aid goes to its military. It has ¼ million people in concentration camps and prison camps. If anyone speaks out against the government, the entire family to three generations gets arrested and sent to the gulags. Worst country ever.
 
2012-04-12 08:48:41 PM
Huh... You mean bailing wire and recycled 8086 processors don't make for great rockets? Weird.
 
2012-04-12 08:49:14 PM
Kim Do Fail
 
2012-04-12 08:49:25 PM
The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: Bad ruck, better ruck next time

ROR
 
2012-04-12 08:49:35 PM
nice headline, submitter.

+6
 
2012-04-12 08:50:01 PM
Poor Best Korea... it's hard to be a Twinkie in a Ding-Dong world.
 
2012-04-12 08:50:48 PM
ka1axy: In other news, today is an extremely sad day for the Best Korea Rocket Science Department: all of our rocket scientists were in a bus returning from the launch site when they mysteriously drove off a cliff. There were no survivors.

Was kind of thinking along those lines too.
 
2012-04-12 08:51:22 PM
And on the plus side, all the engineers and technicians who worked on this turd will be sent to work camps or executed for not loving the great leader enough, so their "rocket" "program" will be set back even farther.
 
2012-04-12 08:52:05 PM
Was anyone else really disappointed to watch the CNN video and have it not show the rocketing breaking up?
 
2012-04-12 08:52:08 PM
Michael Bay Jong 'SPLOSIONS!!!!
 
2012-04-12 08:52:16 PM
Kevin72: North Korea is the worst country in the world. Its people are starving. But food aid goes to its military. It has ¼ million people in concentration camps and prison camps. If anyone speaks out against the government, the entire family to three generations gets arrested and sent to the gulags. Worst country ever.

America's not that much better. It imprisons people at a rate far above any modern country. It restricts free speech to limited "zones" and speech can be curtailed by the government for any reason. The police are thugs. The military is used to spread American imperialism across the world. And America attacks countries against the will of the international community and based on the most specious of evidence.
 
2012-04-12 08:52:24 PM
What a failed Glorious Success launch might look like in Best Korea:

i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-12 08:52:35 PM
On a slightly more serious note, I feel bad for those North Korean scientists. A few of them are going to disappear, I bet.
 
2012-04-12 08:52:40 PM
HellRaisingHoosier: I'm sure the United States had a ton of failures as well when we were building our space program.

I bet starvation wasn't the number one cause of death in our country at the time.
 
2012-04-12 08:52:54 PM
funnyphotosto.com

/Can't wait to see what the response from Japan is going to be
 
2012-04-12 08:53:37 PM
Enemabag Jones: naughtyrev ,So now they'll just test another nuke to compensate for this failure. Probably also say we (or someone else) shot it down because we were afraid of them.

Who is to say that we didn't? Could have happened either way.

BrokenToilet,[Boeing Laser image]
*Whistles nonchalantly*

Does any know if we do have the technology to take out an ICBM on the upshot if given time to prepare?


WIkipedia:

The Boeing YAL-1 Airborne Laser Testbed, (formerly Airborne Laser) weapons system is a megawatt-class chemical oxygen iodine laser (COIL) mounted inside a modified Boeing 747-400F. It is primarily designed as a missile defense system to destroy tactical ballistic missiles (TBMs), while in boost phase. The aircraft was designated YAL-1A in 2004 by the U.S. Department of Defense.[1]

The YAL-1 with a low-power laser was test-fired in flight, at an airborne target in 2007.[2] A high-energy laser was used to intercept a test target in January 2010,[3] and the following month, successfully destroyed two test missiles.[4] Funding for the program was cut in 2010 and the program was canceled in December 2011. It made its final flight on February 14, 2012 to Davis-Monthan Air Force Base in Tucson, Arizona to be prepared and kept in storage at the "Boneyard" by the 309th Aerospace Maintenance and Regeneration Group.


Absolutely, it's out in the boneyard. Definitely. The 747 that left? That one carries the space shuttle. Yep
 
2012-04-12 08:53:54 PM
wizbangblog.com
 
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