If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Bitten and Bound)   Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher is into his own brand of fantasy football during the off season with Hollywood hottie Jenny McCarthy. #hescores   (bittenandbound.com) divider line 53
    More: Cool, Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears, Jenny McCarthy, linebacker  
•       •       •

3507 clicks; posted to Sports » on 12 Apr 2012 at 1:56 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-04-12 11:27:48 AM
Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher is into his own brand of fantasy football during the off season with Hollywood hottie crazy girl Jenny McCarthy.

FTFY.
 
2012-04-12 11:42:05 AM
I hope he's had his shots.
 
2012-04-12 11:47:01 AM
I enjoy it when two people past their prime find love.
 
2012-04-12 12:48:15 PM

propasaurus: I hope he's had his shots.


They won't do him any good, he's already been inside Paris Hilton.
 
2012-04-12 01:59:45 PM
Brian Urlacher is well known for his excellent taste in women.
 
2012-04-12 02:00:21 PM
Hashtags better not be invading Fark.
 
2012-04-12 02:01:08 PM
I didn't realize she was only 39 and that he was 33. I figured it was more like 45/28, which is way creepier than 39/33.

Also, hasn't Mayim Bialik taken over as the resident crazy actor convincing parents to kill their babies?
 
2012-04-12 02:01:54 PM

obeymatt: Hashtags better not be invading Fark.


I second the proposal to skip this meme.
 
2012-04-12 02:02:49 PM
Someone on sports talk radio out here wondered if it was a "Chicago power couple" thing since they reside in the Windy City.

Uh, what?

That's like being royalty in a 3rd world county. Who cares?

As for crazy McCarthy...

to better days. NSFW

I know she still looks bangin'...I'm just saying to the days where she just sprawled out for a photo spread, rather than opening her mouth and spewing out word vomit.
 
2012-04-12 02:07:09 PM
Has he been vaccinated against the crazy?
 
2012-04-12 02:09:02 PM

FinFangFark: Someone on sports talk radio out here wondered if it was a "Chicago power couple" thing since they reside in the Windy City.

Uh, what?

That's like being royalty in a 3rd world county. Who cares?


Say that to Abe Froman, sausage king.
 
2012-04-12 02:09:30 PM
The evolution of Jenny McCarthy:

1993: Holy shiat, she's hot!

1995: Woah, she has a sense of a humor, too?? I'm in love!

1999: Dammit, she got married. But we'll always have the centerfold.

2004: What ever happened to Jenny McCarthy?

2007: Oh fark, she's a loony.

2008 - present: Just shut the fark up and go back to being young, hot, and nude.
 
2012-04-12 02:16:47 PM

ihatedumbpeople: [www.bittenandbound.com image 400x392]

didn't get past the first sentence, but that ain't Urlacher.

this is Urlacher.

[i.usatoday.net image 490x526]

/unless he got plastic surgery lately and grew hair, and/or that is someone else the article mentions beyond the first line.
//if not, slashes and fark off. ;-)


Came here to say that. I've watched a lot of Urlacher playing football, and that certainly didn't look like him.
 
2012-04-12 02:19:03 PM

Orgasmatron138: ihatedumbpeople: [www.bittenandbound.com image 400x392]

didn't get past the first sentence, but that ain't Urlacher.

this is Urlacher.

[i.usatoday.net image 490x526]

/unless he got plastic surgery lately and grew hair, and/or that is someone else the article mentions beyond the first line.
//if not, slashes and fark off. ;-)

Came here to say that. I've watched a lot of Urlacher playing football, and that certainly didn't look like him.


Yeah...thought maybe it was a picture of a co-host of her show or something...but not Urlacher for sure.
 
2012-04-12 02:43:54 PM

propasaurus: I hope he's had his shots.


Came here to say exactly this.
 
2012-04-12 02:44:05 PM
That's not Urlacher.

Also, can someone please 'splain hash tags? What am I supposed to do with them? Search it on Twitter? I don't get it. People use them on Facebook and it makes them seem douchey and self important but I'm not certain why.
 
2012-04-12 03:09:56 PM
Ah, another fine dating choice for Urlacher. At least this one probably won't try to extort him.
 
2012-04-12 03:18:51 PM
Doesn't this make him even crazier than her?
 
2012-04-12 03:29:56 PM
I'd still Urlach her McCarthy.
 
2012-04-12 03:37:24 PM
I cant believe I am asking this, but since that picture isnt him, does that mean they arent dating and she is dating that guy, whoever she is, or she is dating Urlacher and that is wrong picture?

Shoot me, please
 
2012-04-12 03:44:37 PM
he's gonna catch the autism
 
2012-04-12 03:49:18 PM

El Brujo: That's not Urlacher.

Also, can someone please 'splain hash tags? What am I supposed to do with them? Search it on Twitter? I don't get it. People use them on Facebook and it makes them seem douchey and self important but I'm not certain why.


Yeah, you use them on Twitter to search for keywords. Some people link their Twitter accounts to Facebook, so that what they tweet (sweet FSM, I hate saying that) also posts as a Facebook update, hashtags included. Then again, some people just add hashtags to their Facebook posts just to be, as you noted, douchebags.
 
2012-04-12 03:56:55 PM
I wonder which one has more brain damage.

/at least Urlacher has an excuse
 
2012-04-12 03:58:20 PM
Dick. Crazy. Don't.
 
2012-04-12 04:00:59 PM
Nothing hotter than causing people to die by bleating that vaccines cause autism, right?
 
2012-04-12 04:04:18 PM

Brother_Mouzone: I cant believe I am asking this, but since that picture isnt him, does that mean they arent dating and she is dating that guy, whoever she is, or she is dating Urlacher and that is wrong picture?

Shoot me, please


HAHA - You probably watch TMZ at night, and read Entertainment Weekly while pooping!
 
2012-04-12 04:07:18 PM

puckrock2000: El Brujo: That's not Urlacher.

Also, can someone please 'splain hash tags? What am I supposed to do with them? Search it on Twitter? I don't get it. People use them on Facebook and it makes them seem douchey and self important but I'm not certain why.

Yeah, you use them on Twitter to search for keywords. Some people link their Twitter accounts to Facebook, so that what they tweet (sweet FSM, I hate saying that) also posts as a Facebook update, hashtags included. Then again, some people just add hashtags to their Facebook posts just to be, as you noted, douchebags.


Thanks for the info. Glad to confirm its a twitter thing so I needn't care.

/douchebags gonna tweet
 
2012-04-12 04:31:06 PM
What's the over/ under on how many times her chin gets sacked?
 
2012-04-12 04:55:35 PM
dude in the pic in TFA is Tony Schumacher....he's a professional drag racer...has Chicago roots, but last I knew, he lived in Indy and was happily married with young kids...
 
2012-04-12 05:58:33 PM

chevydeuce: dude in the pic in TFA is Tony Schumacher....he's a professional drag racer...has Chicago roots, but last I knew, he lived in Indy and was happily married with young kids...


Not after hanging around with this bag of crazy will he be either happy or married.... Divorce in 5...4...3...2...
 
2012-04-12 06:02:09 PM

Mr. Potatoass: What's the over/ under on how many times her chin gets sacked?


Kudos...
 
2012-04-12 06:23:04 PM
[youdontstickyourdickincrazy.jpg]
 
2012-04-12 06:25:16 PM

Rapmaster2000: Brian Urlacher is well known for his excellent taste in women.


And being a bully to the wrong person.

Bas Rutten (new window)
 
2012-04-12 09:53:08 PM
Here's a fact: I used to jack off to pictures of Jenny McCarthy.

The More You Know.
 
2012-04-12 10:31:52 PM

FinFangFark: Someone on sports talk radio out here wondered if it was a "Chicago power couple" thing since they reside in the Windy City.

Uh, what?

That's like being royalty in a 3rd world county. Who cares?

As for crazy McCarthy...

to better days. NSFW

I know she still looks bangin'...I'm just saying to the days where she just sprawled out for a photo spread, rather than opening her mouth and spewing out word vomit.


Holy Sasquatch Crotch, Batman!

/Yes, I know it was the style at the time
//onion, belt, etc.
 
2012-04-12 10:55:15 PM

OmniView: Rapmaster2000: Brian Urlacher is well known for his excellent taste in women.

And being a bully to the wrong person.

Bas Rutten (new window)


I wish that fight would've happened. Urlacher would've had his career ended very quickly. Bas Rutten would fark him up.
 
2012-04-12 11:02:33 PM

meanmutton: I didn't realize she was only 39 and that he was 33. I figured it was more like 45/28, which is way creepier than 39/33.

Also, hasn't Mayim Bialik taken over as the resident crazy actor convincing parents to kill their babies?


No, she is the one who advocates breast feeding your child longer. Even though you have to go to his kindergarten classroom to do it.


knew a woman back in the day who at the time was still breast feeding her 5 y.o.! this was in Florida. kid is probably in his mid 30s now.
 
2012-04-12 11:06:33 PM

Orgasmatron138: ihatedumbpeople: [www.bittenandbound.com image 400x392]

didn't get past the first sentence, but that ain't Urlacher.

this is Urlacher.

[i.usatoday.net image 490x526]

/unless he got plastic surgery lately and grew hair, and/or that is someone else the article mentions beyond the first line.
//if not, slashes and fark off. ;-)

Came here to say that. I've watched a lot of Urlacher playing football, and that certainly didn't look like him.


Thank god I am not the only one thinking that! Thought a trip to the eye doctor was in order.
 
2012-04-12 11:17:43 PM

jackandwater: meanmutton: I didn't realize she was only 39 and that he was 33. I figured it was more like 45/28, which is way creepier than 39/33.

Also, hasn't Mayim Bialik taken over as the resident crazy actor convincing parents to kill their babies?

No, she is the one who advocates breast feeding your child longer. Even though you have to go to his kindergarten classroom to do it.


knew a woman back in the day who at the time was still breast feeding her 5 y.o.! this was in Florida. kid is probably in his mid 30s now.


I have an in-law who is that way. She breastfed her oldest until she was 5ish and tried to breastfeed their youngest but she weened herself around three. Now the gal posts nonstop on facebook about the wonders of breastfeeding toddlers and how it makes her kids into these superior children. She fails to mention that one child is obese and the other is allergic to everything on the planet. Not exactly the best endorsement of the practice.
 
2012-04-12 11:56:53 PM

hundreddollarman: [youdontstickyourdickincrazy.jpg]



~you~ don't, but Urlacher doesn't mind.
 
GOB
2012-04-13 12:54:15 AM

OmniView: Rapmaster2000: Brian Urlacher is well known for his excellent taste in women.

And being a bully to the wrong person.

Bas Rutten (new window)


I love that story, it's a great story with a great lesson - no matter who you are, how tough your are, how strong you are, or how big you are, theres always plenty of people in the world who can kick your ass without breaking a sweat. So be careful about talking shiat to strangers. Bars all over the world would be much more pleasant places if every guy would remember that.
 
2012-04-13 01:02:48 AM

AmazinTim: propasaurus: I hope he's had his shots.

They won't do him any good, he's already been inside Paris Hilton.


Wait, Paris Hilton's autistic?
 
2012-04-13 01:42:13 AM

GOB: OmniView: Rapmaster2000: Brian Urlacher is well known for his excellent taste in women.

And being a bully to the wrong person.

Bas Rutten (new window)

I love that story, it's a great story with a great lesson - no matter who you are, how tough your are, how strong you are, or how big you are, theres always plenty of people in the world who can kick your ass without breaking a sweat. So be careful about talking shiat to strangers. Bars all over the world would be much more pleasant places if every guy would remember that.


What are you trying to say, huh? You think you're better than me? You're nothing. You should apologize immediately. What? What?! You think this is funny? You wanna take this outside man? YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?!?!
 
2012-04-13 03:26:17 AM
If this is true I just lost all respect for him
 
2012-04-13 03:36:39 AM

AmazinTim: They won't do him any good, he's already been inside Paris Hilton.


Many is the time I have enjoyed the comforts of a Hilton.
 
2012-04-13 04:35:02 AM

Jamdug!: Here's a fact: I used to jack off to pictures of Jenny McCarthy.

The More You Know.


Every guy has THAT ONE celebrity girl you're way too into.
Jenny McCarthy was it for me.

Jeebus was she hot. Still is hot. I'd wreck that crazy shiat.

She's actually really smart. She parlayed 15 mins of fame into a crazy good contract for that half-ass sitcom she had. Set herself up for life.
Then she let middle-aged mom emotions mix with bunk science and a mutant of hotness & stupidity was born in a pharmaceutical lab accident during a vaccination experiment.

Get Stan Lee on the phone.
I want a mutant McCarthy Farkbot.
 
2012-04-13 08:07:40 AM

OmniView: Rapmaster2000: Brian Urlacher is well known for his excellent taste in women.

And being a bully to the wrong person.

Bas Rutten (new window)


Ha! Tried to play it cool, and Mr. "I'm an NFL linebacker" wanted to push it....Bas has always seemed like a pretty cool dude, that just reinforces it.
 
2012-04-13 08:40:23 AM

bionicjoe: I want a mutant McCarthy Farkbot.


Don't we all.
 
2012-04-13 09:26:07 AM

ihatedumbpeople: Ha! Tried to play it cool, and Mr. "I'm an NFL linebacker" wanted to push it....Bas has always seemed like a pretty cool dude, that just reinforces it.


Haha, yeah. Kind of wish the bouncers hadn't stopped him. He would've had it coming. Bas would've farked him up with ease.
 
2012-04-13 10:47:35 AM

machoprogrammer: ihatedumbpeople: Ha! Tried to play it cool, and Mr. "I'm an NFL linebacker" wanted to push it....Bas has always seemed like a pretty cool dude, that just reinforces it.

Haha, yeah. Kind of wish the bouncers hadn't stopped him. He would've had it coming. Bas would've farked him up with ease.


That whole situation saddened me, as I like both guys. And seriousy, of all the farkwads in MMA, he had to start something with Bas? The nicest guy in the sport?
 
Displayed 50 of 53 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report