Howabout Phone Tech Support?

Are effing serious about this, man? 'cause I don't hear it in your voice. I'm picturing a sad, lonely little atom. Sitting in front of his computer and saying "I wish I could get my printer to connect" but deep in his carbon and CRAP heart, he really doesn't want it to print! He wants to fail. Failing is comforting, man. Is that it? You want to fail? You want to go to work tomorrow and say "I couldn't print nuttin', man. My printer doesn't respect me, man." And all your failure loving friends will say "That's okay. You are just like us and we're happy being failures." The man wants you to be a failure, you know. That's how he gets his rocks off. Little particle man can't print. Ohh wee kapow!

Look, man. You got two choices. You can want this printer to connect or you can pick it up and smash it in to little failure bits! What's it gonna be, man? Are you a freaking failure just like all those other people? Are you going to go to work tomorrow and cry to your failure friends and hope they see you as a failure too? Is that what you want?

No? Good! You're breaking out of the mold that the man cast you in, man. You're ready to take it by the balls. Look at that printer and say "I'm not a failure, man. I own you now!" Say it!

Okay, man. I hear you. You got the moxy and you're ready to own this printer. You with me? You ready for this, man. Are you ready to own the freaking moment? Are you? Great.

Now, you got power going to the printer, man? 'cause you need power. Are the lights on? Are you someplace that has electricity? It's essential. It's required. Now paper is another essential. Gotta be good paper, too. Made for printers...

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I almost wish they had let him go. I can easily see Charlie strolling down to the local Albertson's to get a job collecting the grocery carts, maybe volunteering as a crossing guard in the mornings.

I rather envisioned him as a Wal-mart greeter

/"I said TAKE A F*CKING CART!"

He can get a tear tattoo. :(

Jake Havechek: Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme still thinks he's great, but all the other women know they are never getting out of prison and are remorseful.

The only reason they still call her "Squeaky" now is rust

Expected result was expected

/so much for finally learning to surf

His wife Marylin inconsolable.

shazbotuh: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I almost wish they had let him go. I can easily see Charlie strolling down to the local Albertson's to get a job collecting the grocery carts, maybe volunteering as a crossing guard in the mornings.

I rather envisioned him as a Wal-mart greeter

/"I said TAKE A F*CKING CART!"

Haha. He'd just form a Wal-Mart cult, get all stabby, and end up right back in prison

Wal-Mart cult? That sounds suspiciously like a union of some sort. GET HIM!

JusticeandIndependence: It's cruel to lock this guy up for so many years.

Nonsense. Conservative prison guards look forward to his daily nude cavity searches.

FOR THE SAFETY OF THE STAFF AND THE COMMUNITY.

Get one little swastika tattooed on your forehead and it haunts you for life.

lurking...

waiting for the free manson grubs to slither out of the woodwork.

Fark Miss Charles, they should put him in general pop and see how long he lasts.
They haven't for just that reason, and it perpetuates his fanbase

I almost wish they had let him go. I can easily see Charlie strolling down to the local Albertson's to get a job collecting the grocery carts, maybe volunteering as a crossing guard in the mornings.

Cheer up Charlie, you'll still get to play Santa in the prison Christmas pageant!