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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Sorry, Charlie   (suntimes.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, jury  
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18561 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2012 at 3:42 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-04-11 03:58:17 PM  
9 votes:
Howabout Phone Tech Support?

Are effing serious about this, man? 'cause I don't hear it in your voice. I'm picturing a sad, lonely little atom. Sitting in front of his computer and saying "I wish I could get my printer to connect" but deep in his carbon and CRAP heart, he really doesn't want it to print! He wants to fail. Failing is comforting, man. Is that it? You want to fail? You want to go to work tomorrow and say "I couldn't print nuttin', man. My printer doesn't respect me, man." And all your failure loving friends will say "That's okay. You are just like us and we're happy being failures." The man wants you to be a failure, you know. That's how he gets his rocks off. Little particle man can't print. Ohh wee kapow!

Look, man. You got two choices. You can want this printer to connect or you can pick it up and smash it in to little failure bits! What's it gonna be, man? Are you a freaking failure just like all those other people? Are you going to go to work tomorrow and cry to your failure friends and hope they see you as a failure too? Is that what you want?

No? Good! You're breaking out of the mold that the man cast you in, man. You're ready to take it by the balls. Look at that printer and say "I'm not a failure, man. I own you now!" Say it!

Okay, man. I hear you. You got the moxy and you're ready to own this printer. You with me? You ready for this, man. Are you ready to own the freaking moment? Are you? Great.

Now, you got power going to the printer, man? 'cause you need power. Are the lights on? Are you someplace that has electricity? It's essential. It's required. Now paper is another essential. Gotta be good paper, too. Made for printers...
2012-04-11 03:44:56 PM  
5 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I almost wish they had let him go. I can easily see Charlie strolling down to the local Albertson's to get a job collecting the grocery carts, maybe volunteering as a crossing guard in the mornings.


I rather envisioned him as a Wal-mart greeter

/"I said TAKE A F*CKING CART!"
2012-04-11 04:08:37 PM  
3 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: Howabout Phone Tech Support?

Are effing serious about this, man? 'cause I don't hear it in your voice. I'm picturing a sad, lonely little atom. Sitting in front of his computer and saying "I wish I could get my printer to connect" but deep in his carbon and CRAP heart, he really doesn't want it to print! He wants to fail. Failing is comforting, man. Is that it? You want to fail? You want to go to work tomorrow and say "I couldn't print nuttin', man. My printer doesn't respect me, man." And all your failure loving friends will say "That's okay. You are just like us and we're happy being failures." The man wants you to be a failure, you know. That's how he gets his rocks off. Little particle man can't print. Ohh wee kapow!

Look, man. You got two choices. You can want this printer to connect or you can pick it up and smash it in to little failure bits! What's it gonna be, man? Are you a freaking failure just like all those other people? Are you going to go to work tomorrow and cry to your failure friends and hope they see you as a failure too? Is that what you want?

No? Good! You're breaking out of the mold that the man cast you in, man. You're ready to take it by the balls. Look at that printer and say "I'm not a failure, man. I own you now!" Say it!

Okay, man. I hear you. You got the moxy and you're ready to own this printer. You with me? You ready for this, man. Are you ready to own the freaking moment? Are you? Great.

Now, you got power going to the printer, man? 'cause you need power. Are the lights on? Are you someplace that has electricity? It's essential. It's required. Now paper is another essential. Gotta be good paper, too. Made for printers...


Dude, yer freakin me out. I've seen a number of interviews of Manson over the years, and that's exactly how he talks, except he's maybe a little more disjointed.

But nice job channeling a serial killer. Don't come to my house.
2012-04-11 04:49:07 PM  
2 votes:
Things Ron Paul and Charles Manson have in common:
1) both want a "race war"
2) both had some musical ability
3) both brag about making love 8 time a day
2012-04-11 04:03:16 PM  
2 votes:

9beers: Why is he even in prison after all these years? Not only did he not kill anybody, he wasn't even present when the murders took place. Some people convicted of actually murdering somebody spend less time behind bars.


www.myfacewhen.net

And Hitler never personally killed those 6 million Jews; he wasn't even present when the gassings took place.

/is Godwin-ing a Manson thread like dividing by zero?
2012-04-11 03:59:28 PM  
2 votes:

9beers: Why is he even in prison after all these years? Not only did he not kill anybody, he wasn't even present when the murders took place. Some people convicted of actually murdering somebody spend less time behind bars.


He can stay over at your house when they let him out.
2012-04-11 03:46:40 PM  
2 votes:
He can get a tear tattoo. :(
2012-04-11 03:45:58 PM  
2 votes:

Jake Havechek: Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme still thinks he's great, but all the other women know they are never getting out of prison and are remorseful.


The only reason they still call her "Squeaky" now is rust
2012-04-11 03:33:11 PM  
2 votes:
Expected result was expected

/so much for finally learning to surf
2012-04-11 03:22:08 PM  
2 votes:
His wife Marylin inconsolable.
2012-04-11 07:03:26 PM  
1 vote:
He'd be pretty good on Hardball with Chris Matthews.
2012-04-11 05:09:20 PM  
1 vote:
He didn't attend the hearing. I guess he didn't he know he had to be present to win.
2012-04-11 05:00:32 PM  
1 vote:

shazbotuh: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I almost wish they had let him go. I can easily see Charlie strolling down to the local Albertson's to get a job collecting the grocery carts, maybe volunteering as a crossing guard in the mornings.

I rather envisioned him as a Wal-mart greeter

/"I said TAKE A F*CKING CART!"

Haha. He'd just form a Wal-Mart cult, get all stabby, and end up right back in prison


Wal-Mart cult? That sounds suspiciously like a union of some sort. GET HIM!
2012-04-11 04:33:23 PM  
1 vote:
Manson
(new window)

You think if you don't parole me I'll go away, but I can't go away cause I'm not even here.
2012-04-11 04:29:22 PM  
1 vote:
I think he should (like all other lifers with no disease) be hooked up to a blood draw machine and produce copious amounts of blood for the general public. At least he would be contributing to society instead of continuing to rape it.

But the left wingers will want him to have art and music provided to him so he can express his feelings as a human being. F that!

/that's really how I feel
//not trolling
2012-04-11 04:25:51 PM  
1 vote:

JusticeandIndependence: It's cruel to lock this guy up for so many years.


Nonsense. Conservative prison guards look forward to his daily nude cavity searches.

FOR THE SAFETY OF THE STAFF AND THE COMMUNITY.
2012-04-11 04:20:48 PM  
1 vote:
...and he was so close this time.
2012-04-11 04:19:12 PM  
1 vote:


theronneel.com
RIP Marylin Manson

2012-04-11 04:10:33 PM  
1 vote:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I almost wish they had let him go. I can easily see Charlie strolling down to the local Albertson's to get a job collecting the grocery carts, maybe volunteering as a crossing guard in the mornings.

I rather envisioned him as a Wal-mart greeter

/"I said TAKE A F*CKING CART!"


CAUTION: the contents of this comment are only tangentially related

I often get a laugh, imagining Dick Cheney Walmart greater. Whenever someone walks in, Cheney tells them to " go fark yourself".

/ yes, I watch lots of family guy

// go fark yourself; I keed

/ you may now return to your regularly schedualed programming
2012-04-11 04:08:45 PM  
1 vote:

puckrock2000: 9beers: Why is he even in prison after all these years? Not only did he not kill anybody, he wasn't even present when the murders took place. Some people convicted of actually murdering somebody spend less time behind bars.

[www.myfacewhen.net image 500x224]

And Hitler never personally killed those 6 million Jews; he wasn't even present when the gassings took place.

/is Godwin-ing a Manson thread like dividing by zero?


He never killed the other 5 million communists, trade unionists, gypsys, homosexuals and the retarded, either.


why is it always about the farking Jews?
2012-04-11 03:56:20 PM  
1 vote:
It's cruel to lock this guy up for so many years. Should have just put him out of his misery and saved the state a ton of money
2012-04-11 03:51:31 PM  
1 vote:
Charles Manson doesn't even know his last name anymore.
2012-04-11 03:49:51 PM  
1 vote:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I almost wish they had let him go. I can easily see Charlie strolling down to the local Albertson's to get a job collecting the grocery carts, maybe volunteering as a crossing guard in the mornings.

I rather envisioned him as a Wal-mart greeter

/"I said TAKE A F*CKING CART!"



Haha. He'd just form a Wal-Mart cult, get all stabby, and end up right back in prison
2012-04-11 03:47:51 PM  
1 vote:
Why is he even in prison after all these years? Not only did he not kill anybody, he wasn't even present when the murders took place. Some people convicted of actually murdering somebody spend less time behind bars.
2012-04-11 03:46:54 PM  
1 vote:
Get one little swastika tattooed on your forehead and it haunts you for life.
2012-04-11 03:45:54 PM  
1 vote:
lurking...

waiting for the free manson grubs to slither out of the woodwork.

Fark Miss Charles, they should put him in general pop and see how long he lasts.
They haven't for just that reason, and it perpetuates his fanbase
2012-04-11 03:38:18 PM  
1 vote:
I almost wish they had let him go. I can easily see Charlie strolling down to the local Albertson's to get a job collecting the grocery carts, maybe volunteering as a crossing guard in the mornings.
2012-04-11 03:10:16 PM  
1 vote:
Cheer up Charlie, you'll still get to play Santa in the prison Christmas pageant!
 
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