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(Some Guy)   Open Letter To My Son's Teacher And Principal   (mushroomprinting.com) divider line 365
    More: Spiffy, DARE, Montessori school, teachers, elementary schools  
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34774 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Apr 2012 at 8:54 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-10 09:49:59 AM

bingethinker: Sounds like the teacher sucks at teaching. And the principal... well, elementary school principals are some of the least competent people you will ever meet.


Your blog sucks.
 
2012-04-10 09:51:34 AM

Brandyelf: That's 2 minutes of my life I'll never get back.


If your time is that precious, maybe Fark isn't the best place to spend it.
 
2012-04-10 09:51:35 AM
Sorry, but it's a teachers job to teach. It's a parents job to make their children be good students.
 
2012-04-10 09:51:58 AM
Third Grade.

11 years old.

Third Grade.

11 years old.

Mainstreaming is not working for your child gcmomma.
 
2012-04-10 09:53:11 AM

hitlersbrain: Even when I was a kid, before interactive computers with internet access, I heard people biatching about how kids could not stop watching television and would rather watch television that a teacher rambling on. The first thought in my head was... use television then, idiot.


What an inciteful idea. Because I'm sure that watching a prerecorded grammar lesson would be just as attention grabbing as a seizure inducing pokemon marathon.

The problem, as has been covered, is that parents don't want to parent. If a child is struggling in a class it is not the teacher's responsibility to take extra time away from the other students in order to cater to the precious little flower. The teacher's job is to present the material in as clear a manner as possible, but they cannot force a student to learn. The parents presumably graduated from high school at some point, and as such they should be qualified to tutor their child on any subject they are having trouble with. Demanding that the teacher devote extra resources is just selfish and entitled.
 
2012-04-10 09:53:39 AM

xpennyroyaltyx: she should send her kid to my district.

- not allowed to give a score of zero
- kids caught cheating get 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances (basically re-test until they stop cheating)
- teachers have to allow "re-dos" on all major assignments
- students can pass in work at any time without penalty, even on the last day of school
- after school detentions are not allowed
- teachers are obligated to give kids accommodations (scribing, reading of text, extra time, etc., etc., etc.) without an ILP in place


.And this is in jr/sr high schools. . .but we have GREAT assessment results!


Do you live in PA? That sounds a lot like a district I know. They can give zeros but if you fail it's your own fault. Kids can hand in any assignment whenever they want and get full credit. If you fail a test you can retake said test as many times as you want, the exact same test, not a new test but the same test with the same questions. Basically if you fail it's because you don't care.
 
2012-04-10 09:54:44 AM

lemortede: Frederick: That read like "my kid sucks at school -it's the teachers fault".

Considering this was elementary school, I sense the problem resides at home more than at school.

Came here to say this too.
This first thing out of her mouth is that she is not trailer trash.
If you have to start an argument like that there is probably some truth to the it and you sense that you project that image.

My kids have had old, tenured, on the verge of retiring teachers that don't seem to give a crap
Does my son learn as well or like school as well. No, I will concede that.
As a parent though, I stepped it up at home. We helped him with his home work nightly. WE made and extra effort to make sure that our kid was learning what he needed to.
I don't expect the school system to educate and raise my kids.
This mother of the year obviously does.
Remember, its not your kids fault they are getting that F. Its the teachers.....


Funny, when I went through grade school we had old teachers who were among the best in the school, did give a crap, but expected you to show up and pay attention. Not come up with excuses every time a paper wasn't graded perfectly.

But by all means its the teachers fault, the person with 20-30 years of experience doing their job.

Don't worry, once your kids grown and still can't focus on work it all gets easier, they can get diagnosed with a new designer disease, and their employer can't fire them or it's discrimination.
 
2012-04-10 09:54:59 AM

greenboy: greenlady1: I have ADHD that was diagnosed the summer before 9th grade. All throughout elementary and middle school, my parents would help me with my homework on a daily basis. They would talk to the teachers about my performance in school, which was mostly pretty good, but I had this lovely habit of reading a book during class and not paying attention. They didn't talk down to the teachers; instead, they started a dialogue that was beneficial to everyone. It helped when my parents had to have some teachers fill out surveys to give to the doctor to diagnose my ADHD.

If this woman's son is struggling in school, *she* needs to check his planner. *She* needs to start a civil dialogue with the teacher/s about what *she* can do with him at home to help him learn the subject material better.

To be fair, I'm sure there are teachers who simply don't care. There are probably teachers who are just plain mean. But the author of this "blog" isn't doing herself any favors by acting like a spoiled brat.

Do i know you?


Are you kidding? That's most of Fark. How do you think I got this handle?
 
2012-04-10 09:55:07 AM

Frederick: That read like "my kid sucks at school -it's the teachers fault".


^ THIS
 
2012-04-10 09:57:31 AM

someonelse: mojo moon: There are still some rotten apples out there, generally the ones who are "older than dirt".

That's quite a generalization considering that in your previous sentence you complained about the parent being stereotyped as "trailer trash." In fact, it's pretty telling that the parent did the exact same thing. She complained about being stereotyped, then one sentence later called the teacher "older than dirt," which has no bearing on anything except to imply that the teacher is bad because he/she is older. Not only is that tremendously hypocritical, it also shows a real lack of intelligence on the parent's part.



You sound fat.
 
2012-04-10 09:58:12 AM

i.r.id10t: Apparently, the bible beating teacher thinks that covering history means telling the tale of jeebus and resurrection is historical fact...


Yeah, I'm going to have a BIG problem with this when my child is in school...
 
2012-04-10 09:58:19 AM

reillan: Famous Thamas: -Hooked up with that unhappily married minx of a history teacher

So what I'm hearing you say is that if I get a job in a school, I'll get to hook up with attractive teachers...


I can't guarantee it, but here's the situation. You have college educated women who spend the majority of their days dealing with little brats with little to no meaningful adult conversation. Just about every young teacher gets very absorbed into her job, and needs to vent about it. If they are married/with someone, chances are that person is pretty sick of talking about teaching every day.

You end up with a woman in her sexual prime needing an emotional and physical release quite often due to her very stressful job. You might have to listen about her class, etc, but it is great way to blow off steam.

/also works for nurses, provided you get them before they go Helga.
 
2012-04-10 09:59:28 AM

mongbiohazard: I've been poking around through the various articles and there's no way that's not a satire site. It's almost like someone read Old Man Murray back in the day and said, "Hey, I can do that.... but without being funny."


To me the blogger sounds like one of those people whose way of navigating through life is to be automatically pissed at everyone, and to assume that everyone else is in the wrong, always. It's easier (and a handy time saver!) than having to actually pay attention to stuff.
 
2012-04-10 10:00:22 AM

scarmig: Goddamn I'm so glad my kids are in Montessori.


I like the St Louis blues and all, but I'm not so sure that state has the best of school systems.
 
2012-04-10 10:01:01 AM

Famous Thamas: /also works for nurses, provided you get them before they go Helga.


Somehow, I had a vision of a nurse "going Helga" mid-"emotional and physical release".
 
2012-04-10 10:03:33 AM
This looks like a perfect storm of a dumb kid, a bad parent, and an uncaring school system. Fortunately, the situation will resolve itself during the next tornado outbreak.

/Assuming any of it is legit
 
2012-04-10 10:04:42 AM

ph0rk: JeffreyScott: And, if true, there is NO excuse for a teacher to respond with to a struggling student with, "we already went over this." That might be a red flag that the teacher doesn't understand the subject matter.

I don't agree.

There are times when you've covered something so simple, so basic, that if you have to re-explain it either: (a) the kid is developmentally disabled. In the wrong class. or (b) the kid didn't pay attention the first time. Shouldn't be coddled.

And if you've explaining why 6 / 3 = 2 for the 4th or 5th time, that kid just used up their budget for one on one teacher time for the month. Time to cut losses and help the ones you can.

/Not a k-12 schoolteacher


Had to say this when traching cimmunity college level many, many times...

Can't imagine teaching at a "lower" level.
 
2012-04-10 10:05:37 AM

mojo moon: someonelse: mojo moon: There are still some rotten apples out there, generally the ones who are "older than dirt".

That's quite a generalization considering that in your previous sentence you complained about the parent being stereotyped as "trailer trash." In fact, it's pretty telling that the parent did the exact same thing. She complained about being stereotyped, then one sentence later called the teacher "older than dirt," which has no bearing on anything except to imply that the teacher is bad because he/she is older. Not only is that tremendously hypocritical, it also shows a real lack of intelligence on the parent's part.


You sound fat.


Your blog sucks.
 
2012-04-10 10:06:49 AM

pasketti:
And before you ask, we do help her with her schoolwork. But we're also trying to wean her off that, because it really is her responsibility, and she really does need to be able to do it on her own.

The good part is that we finally got through to them what the problem is, and she's getting twice-weekly after-school writing sessions with someone who specializes in helping with that kind of thing.


OK, this is why I'm calling bullshiat. You recognize your kid needs extra help yet you also think that at age 7 she shouldn't be getting any help from her parents because that's somehow spoiling her. It'd be one thing if you were talking about a high schooler or maybe even a middle schooler, but kids need help with their schoolwork and it should be coming from parents (no, I am not saying do your kids homework, but make homework time a priority and be around to help if your kid gets stuck).

That is one of the biggest problems teachers face from parents. They somehow think education is solely the job of the teacher and the parent has no role or responsibility in educating their child.
 
2012-04-10 10:07:46 AM
Kid needs to be spanked, bet he's a head case. Mom should have the kid taken away.
 
2012-04-10 10:07:50 AM
ftfa: "You are supposed to be a fun, happy environment for kids to go to"

author is stupid, no wonder the kids isn't doing well.

do you want a school or a day care center?
 
2012-04-10 10:08:18 AM

ph0rk: Famous Thamas: /also works for nurses, provided you get them before they go Helga.

Somehow, I had a vision of a nurse "going Helga" mid-"emotional and physical release".


Well, hopefully you've at least got yours by that point.
 
2012-04-10 10:12:12 AM

Famous Thamas: ph0rk: Famous Thamas: /also works for nurses, provided you get them before they go Helga.

Somehow, I had a vision of a nurse "going Helga" mid-"emotional and physical release".

Well, hopefully you've at least got yours by that point.


i116.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-10 10:13:25 AM

hitlersbrain: RussianPooper: This can't be real. Blame the teachers for everything and then openly oppose anything they need to do to help your child get educated. It reads like satire.
Those can't be real people agreeing with this transparent nonsense, can it?

Yes, endless studies have shown that belittling children and telling them they are failures is the best way to help them succeed.


Oh, so the problem is the assessment. We should just tell all kids they're doing fine even if they're not. Because failure never helped anyone succeed...except for everyone who is successful.
 
2012-04-10 10:13:26 AM
Yet another reason I don't have kids: I think I would be very bad at it. So all you teachers out there, you're welcome.
 
2012-04-10 10:15:14 AM

malainse: We are not legally allowed to talk to an undergrad's parents. And that is awesome.


FERPA FTW!

//Family Educational Right to Privacy Act. Read it; Own it; Live it.
 
2012-04-10 10:17:03 AM
How typical of the Fark liberal elitist community to assume that this good Christian woman is to blame and not the teachers. She knows her child is having a hard time in school. What does she get when she humbly requests a minimal amount of assistance from her son's teacher? Nothing. Just a "not my job". When she takes her concerns to the school principal, she is similarly rebuffed. I, for one, agree with this fine mother that her son is failing because his teachers are failing to properly educate him. Hopefully she takes her issue to the school board and has these people investigated and summarily fired.
 
2012-04-10 10:18:49 AM
A follow up on the letter in the comments section for anyone doubting the problem here is the mother.

QCMAMA says:
March 13, 2012 at 11:04 am
The day after I wrote this my son came out of school crying yet again. I walked into the school and patiently waited until the teacher and principal and the resource teacher were available. His teacher was in a hurry it was obvious. Kept telling me different things that my son was doing. I know he probably exaggerates a little bit. He is 11. Kids do that. I was open to the fact that there are 2 sides to the story. Then she started blaming him for things. Saying he was frustrated and threw a pen, after he was told for the 2nd day he had to redo already done work that was correct. I said. Can you blame him? I would be frustrated too. He is hearing he isn't good enough. He is hearing he is a failure. You can say that isn't what you are telling him til you are blue in the face. It doesn't change what he hears. He is a kid that needs more positive than negative reinforcement. The teacher kept trying to say "but" I kept interrupting her. Finally she said "Can you be quiet so I can talk" Not too easy to keep your cool at that point, but somehow I did. Then she left, she had things to do. I talked to the resource teacher and the principal for another 20 minutes or so. I think it helped. My son said he feels a little better about things. We will see how this week goes. Thankfully there is only 8 weeks left of school. I think he can hold on until then. Hoping to move out of this district. Which is sad because it is the school district I have been trying so hard to keep them in.
 
2012-04-10 10:19:53 AM

miss diminutive: He should be wanting to learn. I hate that you have taken that away from him. And you deserve a big, fat mushroom print for pushing him so far down he has no want to climb back up and do what I know he can.

Is this some kind of trailer gypsy curse or hex she's trying to put on them? I've never heard this term before.


I'm thinking that 'mushroom print' is some sort of trailer-park redneck version of 'chocolate starfish'.
 
2012-04-10 10:21:22 AM
This parent is not very eloquent and may not be the best example, but the problems described are no less real.

We tried putting my son in public school in 3rd grade. We presented the teacher with an IEP and neuropsych eval and engaged in a 2 hour conversation with her and the principle. At the end of the conversation she indicated that she understood the issues and would be willing to extend some patience and a little extra attention to help him get started.

One of the big issues he has is in planning and remembering ordered steps (I can't remember the exact term right now). On day three I heard the teacher say to my son as he struggled to remember exactly what he needed to do as part of the morning routine "Well you should remember this by now." That was his last day in public school, and he has been home schooled successfully ever since.

Oh, and BTW, we live in a trailer park. If you would drop your ignorant prejudice for a moment, you might see that very normal, well adjusted people live in trailer parks because apartments suck and buying a home is not economically feasible.
 
2012-04-10 10:21:57 AM
When I was teaching, I remembered something that my own professors had said:

Every failing student represents your own failure to teach that child.

There are a lot of reasons for this. Failure for that lesson. Failure to understand what they child needs. Failure to plan properly. Failure to provide extra support. From the standpoint of a single lesson, that means you have assessed whether or not the student has absorbed what was necessary, or to inspire them. It could be a failure to understand what that student needs. Failure to understand what is going on that might interfere with that student's performance.

Teachers and administration need to realize this. Most do. The folks who latch onto these failing grades for purposes of allocating resources often do not understand this. Instead, we have a system now that takes those failures and then tries to reallocate resources away from the students and systems that need help. This is what is wrong with education. There are other ways to bring heat onto systems that fail--primarily to put the heat on the administrators to give the teachers the tools that they need to succeed.

It's easier to point to standardized tests. It's easier to blame the teachers. It's easier to turn the process of teaching into simple numbers. As opposed to understanding that teaching is a bit more complicated than putting kids in chairs and presenting information in the same way, across the board, and ignore that kids have different learning styles. Not all of them are concrete-sequential. Rote is not going to reach everyone. More, learning is something happens across the board, and when teams of teachers can work together, they can assess and plan to reach kids who are in trouble; devise strategies and pool resources so that they can identify why that kid is struggling, and then deal with those issues. Be that trouble at home. Be that trouble with the material, be that trouble with other students.

While the author of the letter may not have expressed himself in the best fashion, or the most useful, he does bring up the point that teachers need to own their failure to reach students. Every failing grade is an admission that the teacher failed as well, and failed that student.
 
2012-04-10 10:23:22 AM
You know how I can tell the author of that article has never worked at a school?

I can't stand parents like this.
 
2012-04-10 10:23:31 AM

Famous Thamas: I am so glad I didn't follow the herd in college and sign up to be a teacher. I may be bored as hell dealing with executive temper tantrums and posting on Fark, but it has to be better than putting up with crap like this.

I worked for one school year at an elementary school as an IT guy, and in that year I experienced the following:

-Sick for six months straight
-Had a stapler thrown at my head
-taught kids how to Kamehameha
-Called a racist by the head of the PTA for disciplining her child
-Called a racist for asking someone to move her car while on Bus duty
-vomited on multiple times
-Realized I was one of two male employees, me and the janitor
-Called in to help restrain an out of control special needs kid, who then bit me hard enough to draw blood
-Hooked up with that unhappily married minx of a history teacher
-Chased a kid all over the neighborhood who took off during recess
-Learned that kindergarten is one of the most insane things in the world
-So many teachers are so very lonely
-Taught a 5th grader the basics of organic chemistry, which he used to make a kickass science fair project
-Unintentionally became the head of the non-teachers union


WTF are you doing disciplining kids as the IT Guy? They should have fired you right away.
 
2012-04-10 10:24:19 AM

megalynn44:
That is one of the biggest problems teachers face from parents. They somehow think education is solely the job of the teacher and the parent has no role or responsibility in educating their child.


You don't know me or my kid, so fark off.

We know that it's a shared job, and we do help. We go over the homework with her. We help out if she's got a problem that she can't figure out on her own. But at some point, she's going to have to step up and start doing it herself. We're trying to teach her that she's responsible for her own tasks. She's getting better. At the beginning of the year, she wouldn't even start unless we told her. Now she's starting on her own.
 
2012-04-10 10:26:05 AM

megalynn44: pasketti:
And before you ask, we do help her with her schoolwork. But we're also trying to wean her off that, because it really is her responsibility, and she really does need to be able to do it on her own.

The good part is that we finally got through to them what the problem is, and she's getting twice-weekly after-school writing sessions with someone who specializes in helping with that kind of thing.

OK, this is why I'm calling bullshiat. You recognize your kid needs extra help yet you also think that at age 7 she shouldn't be getting any help from her parents because that's somehow spoiling her. It'd be one thing if you were talking about a high schooler or maybe even a middle schooler, but kids need help with their schoolwork and it should be coming from parents (no, I am not saying do your kids homework, but make homework time a priority and be around to help if your kid gets stuck).

That is one of the biggest problems teachers face from parents. They somehow think education is solely the job of the teacher and the parent has no role or responsibility in educating their child.


So they're supposed to go to school with the kid and help her do the work there, too? Or expect the teacher to verbally quiz this one child and then go over the written work multiple times?

Did you read what was written? The teacher did not understand the issue. Now the teacher does, and they are working with the school to resolve the problem. They aren't even shoving it all off on the teacher, they're using an after school program.

3rd grade is certainly not too early for the child to know what to do and do it on their own. The kid needs to verbalize then write on her own. She knows that's what her parents are going to tell her to do, she needs to do it. That's what they are trying to do.

Nowhere was it said that they were going to stop helping the kid altogether, they only said they are trying to get her to do the work on her own. They did not say they were going to stop reviewing it.

Reading the effort they took to get the teacher to understand the issue without going off on the teacher or the system, and the wok they've done with their child, I am gobsmacked that you immediately assume that they're just going to cut the kid off from help at home to sink or swim on her own. I feel that's either misguided at best or disingenuous at worst.

Tell me how you get "teaching personal responsibility"="education is solely the job of the teacher".

/run-on sentences may not be your friend, but they are mine!
 
2012-04-10 10:27:07 AM
Before everyone gets too worked up, keep in mind that this is worded exactly like something that Aunt Susie would forward to you and 209 of her closest friends and family, is worded like those fake emails that Snopes is continually debunking.

I'm voting satire, too...
 
2012-04-10 10:27:54 AM
greenboy:This morning we asked my 3 year old to put his socks on. As trivial as it is to us, to 3 year olds, it can be somewhat difficult. My child hangs his head and says: "I can't do it." our response was that it is okay if you can't do it, but you need to try first. Once you have put the effort into it and have failed, then we will help you.

All at once we are pushing these lessons:
1. Try to do something that you know is hard, even if you fail.
2. Try it first, then ask for help.
3. It is okay to ask for help, and we are happy to help, but only if you have tried.
4. It's okay to fail at something that you have put effort into.


Could you come give a seminar to my college students?
 
2012-04-10 10:28:12 AM
I started out sympathizing with this guy, he sounds decent enough and just wants his kid to succeed like any other parent. However the more I read this
the more I feel that he is a good example of how parents are very often part of the problem instead of part of the solution. There are three main things
I fault him on; 1 - He resorts to threats of physical violence and calling police simply because his kid is a few minutes later and/or is not doing as well
as he thinks he should be. Surprise, every parent thinks their kid should be number 1, threatening violence is end of conversation though. 2 - he puts zero effort into understanding what the teacher and
principal have to deal with and 3 - aside from checking to make sure his kid is doing his homework it doesn't sound like he's helping his kid with
his work at all.

I spent 2 years as a teacher (though not in the US), so let me write a response from the teachers perspective:

"With all the layoffs in public education class sizes are balloning to upwards of 60 students. I see over 300 different kids every day.
The parents of every single one of them wants them to get individual attention and succeed. The problem is with this many kids I can't even remember all
their names let alone sit down with each of them and go over the material. I do as much as can with the time and resources available to me. While you are
at home relaxing on the couch with a beer I am still at school, and probably will be for several more hours grading homework and tests and trying to prepare
for the next days classes. I don't get paid for this overtime and I am neglecting my own family by doing it but I do it anyway, largely because I truly
care about each of my students and want to do as much as I can to help them succeed.

If you want your kid to succeed you can start by understanding that it has to be a team effort. You have to put in as much work as you expect his teachers
to do. Commit to putting 1 hour every day (even weekends) into sitting down with him and helping with his homework, not just checking to see that it's done,
help him with the actual work. Take him to the library twice a month, take him to some museums. Help him get involved in afterschool clubs and sports.
Better yet get involved yourself. Instead of using your vacation time to go fishing use some of it to volunteer at your kids school. These are all things
you can do that cost little or nothing and will go a long way to helping your kid become the well educated individual you want him to be.

Next, instead of blaming your kids teacher all the time try and understand what they have to deal with and show some gratitude for the tremendous amount of
work they do. Finally let your voice be heard that you want more funding for public education, as much of the problems have to do with a lack of money."
 
2012-04-10 10:28:49 AM

JeffreyScott: To the most part, it sounds like the parent is overreacting. Many of things that the parent is complaining about appear to be the student's or parent's issues.

HOWEVER, there is NO excuse for a teacher to insult a student.


You really think that's what happened here? It was probably more like:
Teacher: "Johnny, you're failing math."
Johnny: "Mom, teacher says I'm a failure."
Mom: "WHRGRBLE!"


And, if true, there is NO excuse for a teacher to respond with to a struggling student with, "we already went over this." That might be a red flag that the teacher doesn't understand the subject matter.


Or it means "you understood this just yesterday. I'm not going to do your work for you like your mother does."
Which is exactly what I saw happening with a friend's kid: the kid would do his homework for 15 minutes, tell his mother he didn't understand it, and she'd do the rest. This was my friend's wife, so I didn't want to be an ass, but I looked at the homework. It's the same goddamned problems all through. And it's basic math.

bighairyguy: This looks like a perfect storm of a dumb kid, a bad parent, and an uncaring school system. Fortunately, the situation will resolve itself during the next tornado outbreak.

/Assuming any of it is legit


To be fair to the kid, he's probably not dumb at all. To be fair to the school, they're dealing with a bad parent.
 
2012-04-10 10:29:06 AM
Ha. This reminds me of my ex sister in law. Pissed that her toddler couldn't do preschool 8 hours a day, and when pressed as to why she would want to do that, her response was "well, I gave her 2 years of my life."

/note: having kids does not "fix" broken relationships.
 
2012-04-10 10:29:37 AM
Thanks fo the double team, but as I said, I find it a silly notion to say a 2nd grader should be weened off after school help from her parents with schoolwork.
 
2012-04-10 10:30:17 AM

monkey_licker: This parent is not very eloquent and may not be the best example, but the problems described are no less real.

We tried putting my son in public school in 3rd grade. We presented the teacher with an IEP and neuropsych eval and engaged in a 2 hour conversation with her and the principle. At the end of the conversation she indicated that she understood the issues and would be willing to extend some patience and a little extra attention to help him get started.

One of the big issues he has is in planning and remembering ordered steps (I can't remember the exact term right now). On day three I heard the teacher say to my son as he struggled to remember exactly what he needed to do as part of the morning routine "Well you should remember this by now." That was his last day in public school, and he has been home schooled successfully ever since.

Oh, and BTW, we live in a trailer park. If you would drop your ignorant prejudice for a moment, you might see that very normal, well adjusted people live in trailer parks because apartments suck and buying a home is not economically feasible.


oh wait, you're serious. here let me laugh harder.
 
2012-04-10 10:31:29 AM

kisseswookies: Ha. This reminds me of my ex sister in law. Pissed that her toddler couldn't do preschool 8 hours a day, and when pressed as to why she would want to do that, her response was "well, I gave her 2 years of my life."

/note: having kids does not "fix" broken relationships.


Two years huh? What an amazing mother. It's a good thing they're ready to move out on their own by that age or it would be a lot more work to raise kids.
 
2012-04-10 10:34:18 AM

greenlady1: I have ADHD that was diagnosed the summer before 9th grade. All throughout elementary and middle school, my parents would help me with my homework on a daily basis. They would talk to the teachers about my performance in school, which was mostly pretty good, but I had this lovely habit of reading a book during class and not paying attention. They didn't talk down to the teachers; instead, they started a dialogue that was beneficial to everyone. It helped when my parents had to have some teachers fill out surveys to give to the doctor to diagnose my ADHD.



Hmm, sounds like when I was in school. Not ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome. Sit in class all day and read. When the teacher asked if I was paying attention, I'd repeat back to her what she was just talking about. Not so much on the interpersonal skills. Teachers didn't know what to do with me.

/also not diagnosed until after college
 
2012-04-10 10:34:42 AM

pasketti: megalynn44:
That is one of the biggest problems teachers face from parents. They somehow think education is solely the job of the teacher and the parent has no role or responsibility in educating their child.

You don't know me or my kid, so fark off.

We know that it's a shared job, and we do help. We go over the homework with her. We help out if she's got a problem that she can't figure out on her own. But at some point, she's going to have to step up and start doing it herself. We're trying to teach her that she's responsible for her own tasks. She's getting better. At the beginning of the year, she wouldn't even start unless we told her. Now she's starting on her own.


In your Original post the only thing you said was regarding the teacher needing to do extra work. If the child needs extra help which you have said that they do. Then it is crazy to say that you think the student should be weened off help from the parent. All help is help.

On an unrelated argument. Why is it the teachers responsibly to change the entire way the class is run because your child is having difficulty writing? Shouldn't it be your responsibility to help the child and work with the teacher to get the child able to complete the task?
 
2012-04-10 10:34:48 AM

megalynn44: Thanks fo the double team, but as I said, I find it a silly notion to say a 2nd grader should be weened off after school help from her parents with schoolwork.


There is a difference between "after school help" and "doing it for the kid".

All the help most 2nd graders need is discipline. Someone with more power than them to withhold TV or xbox until they do the damned work - they aren't going to have those time management skills at 7, 8 or 9.

/Don't post on Fark if you can't handle multiple people disagreeing with you at once.
 
2012-04-10 10:34:58 AM
i141.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-10 10:35:12 AM

hubiestubert: When I was teaching, I remembered something that my own professors had said:

Every failing student represents your own failure to teach that child.

There are a lot of reasons for this. Failure for that lesson. Failure to understand what they child needs. Failure to plan properly. Failure to provide extra support. From the standpoint of a single lesson, that means you have assessed whether or not the student has absorbed what was necessary, or to inspire them. It could be a failure to understand what that student needs. Failure to understand what is going on that might interfere with that student's performance.

Teachers and administration need to realize this. Most do. The folks who latch onto these failing grades for purposes of allocating resources often do not understand this. Instead, we have a system now that takes those failures and then tries to reallocate resources away from the students and systems that need help. This is what is wrong with education. There are other ways to bring heat onto systems that fail--primarily to put the heat on the administrators to give the teachers the tools that they need to succeed.

It's easier to point to standardized tests. It's easier to blame the teachers. It's easier to turn the process of teaching into simple numbers. As opposed to understanding that teaching is a bit more complicated than putting kids in chairs and presenting information in the same way, across the board, and ignore that kids have different learning styles. Not all of them are concrete-sequential. Rote is not going to reach everyone. More, learning is something happens across the board, and when teams of teachers can work together, they can assess and plan to reach kids who are in trouble; devise strategies and pool resources so that they can identify why that kid is struggling, and then deal with those issues. Be that trouble at home. Be that trouble with the material, be that trouble with other students.

While the author of the letter may not hav ...


This quote is bullshiat. There are some students you simply can't reach. I had a kid fail because he never showed up. Never. Not once. Then he showed up after school one day and wanted his make-up work. How in the hell am I supposed to reach that kid? There are kids that, no matter what you do, have a shiatty attitude about school because society tells them that 1) they don't really need an education, 2) high school diplomas are worthless, 3) it's not their fault that they suck, even though it is or 4) any and all authority figures are out to get them and shouldn't be trusted. You can't combat the training they get at home if their parents are teaching them that the teacher is the enemy, as this mother clearly believes.

You get to a point where you realize you can't care more than the kid cares, because you're simply going to lose your mind if you do. There are kids that want to be there and are ready and willing to learn. Their education should not be short-changed because the teacher is spending all of their time trying to reach out to the assholes.

/Yes, the American education system is COMPLETELY broken. That's why the parents have to step up.
//Any school district is just fine if the parents do their job and actually raise their kids.
 
2012-04-10 10:36:20 AM

monkey_licker: On day three I heard the teacher say to my son as he struggled to remember exactly what he needed to do as part of the morning routine "Well you should remember this by now." That was his last day in public school, and he has been home schooled successfully ever since.

Oh, and BTW, we live in a trailer park. If you would drop your ignorant prejudice for a moment, you might see that very normal, well adjusted people live in trailer parks because apartments suck and buying a home is not economically feasible.


Wow over react much. Most likely they were saying that trying to build your child up by saying "Hey your remember how this is done don't you". I say that to my kids all the time because they know the answer but are unsure of themselves, so you try to make it sound like they figured it out on their own and not you doing everything for them.
 
2012-04-10 10:36:54 AM

pasketti: There are two sides to stories like this.

Yes, there are parents that try to push everything off on the teacher. But there are also teachers that don't get that some kids just need a little extra help.

Our oldest kid is super bright and outgoing. All of her teachers loved her. All they had to do was point her at the work and off she'd go. No trouble at all for them.

Our youngest has trouble with writing. This is a problem because they use writing to evaluate how she's doing with everything else. She knows the material, she just has trouble writing it down. Her first grade teacher picked up on this, and worked with her. Then comes second grade.

Her second grade teacher is the same one that our oldest had. We found out later that she specifically requested our youngest because she was expecting her to be like her sister.

But she's not. So we start getting these notices that she's failing everything, not learning the material, etc, etc. We had to go through multiple meetings with the teacher, the counselor, the principal, and pay for an outside evaluation before the teacher would recognize that the problem was how she was being tested, not the knowledge retention itself. It was like talking to a wall. "She's behind in everything." "That's because she's having trouble writing, and you use writing to evaluate it." "But she's behind." "No, she's not. Ask her anything." Ask kid a question. Kid responds with the correct answer. Ask kid to write the answer. It's unreadable. Repeat.

And before you ask, we do help her with her schoolwork. But we're also trying to wean her off that, because it really is her responsibility, and she really does need to be able to do it on her own. She CAN do it, she just wants us to do it with her. Our "help" consists of us asking her "What's that problem say?" She reads the problem. "What's the answer?" She gives the answer. "Ok, write that down." She writes it down. "I can't read that. Erase it and write it ...


Someone else may have mentioned this, but it may be worth it to talk to the teacher and see if your daughter can type out her homework rather than writing it. My wife has had several students (a little older - 5th and 6th grade) who sound just like your daughter, and had great results with using a laptop for writing assignments, tests, etc.
 
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