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(Augusta Chronicle)   Spectator tries to steal a beer cup full of sand from the Masters, learns Augusta needs all that extra sand for their vagina   (chronicle.augusta.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, Augusta, patrons  
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2875 clicks; posted to Sports » on 10 Apr 2012 at 2:36 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-09 08:45:10 PM  
If we let you do it, then we're gonna have to let everybody do it.
 
2012-04-09 08:54:09 PM  
Just wondering... If they don't let women in the club; where do they keep the sand?
 
2012-04-09 09:18:47 PM  

Equilibrist: Just wondering... If they don't let women in the club; where do they keep the sand?


Colin Montgomerie.
 
2012-04-09 09:28:47 PM  
More Ohio white trash coming down to Georgia and violating real property rights. I bet the hangover and explanation to the wife were both of epic proportions.
 
2012-04-09 09:54:04 PM  
It was a trap!
 
2012-04-09 10:02:51 PM  
If he hadn't ran, they probably would have told him to dump it out and sent him on his way. If you make a cop get some exercise and run, your arse is going down
 
2012-04-09 10:03:40 PM  
I owe someone any apology. I said that John Daly wasn't at the Masters this year.
 
2012-04-09 10:06:51 PM  
try running on *any* professional sports field during one of the biggest events of the year and see how long it takes you to get thrown in the pokey.

he's damn lucky he didn't take a Philly-style beat-down from the cops.
 
2012-04-09 10:08:21 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: If he hadn't ran, they probably would have told him to dump it out and sent him on his way. If you make a cop get some exercise and run, your arse is going down


You are correct, sir. But the guy didn't even get any sand in the cup, according to the article.
 
2012-04-09 10:12:05 PM  

CruiserTwelve: Peter von Nostrand: If he hadn't ran, they probably would have told him to dump it out and sent him on his way. If you make a cop get some exercise and run, your arse is going down

You are correct, sir. But the guy didn't even get any sand in the cup, according to the article.


Guess I misread it, I thought it said he did after ducking under the line. Guess I'll read it closer next time. Or just stick to the headline like I usually do
 
2012-04-09 10:14:56 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: I owe someone any apology. I said that John Daly wasn't at the Masters this year.


img1.fark.net  He was at Hooters, too (new window)
 
2012-04-09 10:23:16 PM  

CruiserTwelve: Peter von Nostrand: If he hadn't ran, they probably would have told him to dump it out and sent him on his way. If you make a cop get some exercise and run, your arse is going down

You are correct, sir. But the guy didn't even get any sand in the cup, according to the article.


Probably had more in his shoes
 
2012-04-09 11:20:48 PM  

elvisaintdead: try running on *any* professional sports field during one of the biggest events of the year and see how long it takes you to get thrown in the pokey.


FTFA: Gay said Clayton Price Baker, of Ohio, slipped under the ropes following the tournament and attempted to put the sand in his cup.

Aw, give the poor SOB a break. Look at the mugshot.
aug-cdn.com
He's Joe Duffer, sports enthusiast. Scored tickets to the final day of the big show, which probably cost him a week's pay. It was a hell of a finish and he was drunk. He wanted a souvenir but had already paid 150 bucks for 10 beers and didn't want to spend another $75 to buy an official Master's divot repairer.
You've done worse things in your life.
 
2012-04-10 03:42:00 AM  

TsarTom: elvisaintdead: try running on *any* professional sports field during one of the biggest events of the year and see how long it takes you to get thrown in the pokey.

FTFA: Gay said Clayton Price Baker, of Ohio, slipped under the ropes following the tournament and attempted to put the sand in his cup.

Aw, give the poor SOB a break. Look at the mugshot.

He's Joe Duffer, sports enthusiast. Scored tickets to the final day of the big show, which probably cost him a week's pay. It was a hell of a finish and he was drunk. He wanted a souvenir but had already paid 150 bucks for 10 beers and didn't want to spend another $75 to buy an official Master's divot repairer.
You've done worse things in your life.


If you're goin to spend a weeks worth of pay to go to watch a golf tournament, then maybe the beers should be limited to one or two. Then he'd be able to afford a $14 divot fixer.

/don't feel sorry for this ahole
 
2012-04-10 03:44:47 AM  

bangmaid: TsarTom: elvisaintdead: try running on *any* professional sports field during one of the biggest events of the year and see how long it takes you to get thrown in the pokey.

FTFA: Gay said Clayton Price Baker, of Ohio, slipped under the ropes following the tournament and attempted to put the sand in his cup.

Aw, give the poor SOB a break. Look at the mugshot.

He's Joe Duffer, sports enthusiast. Scored tickets to the final day of the big show, which probably cost him a week's pay. It was a hell of a finish and he was drunk. He wanted a souvenir but had already paid 150 bucks for 10 beers and didn't want to spend another $75 to buy an official Master's divot repairer.
You've done worse things in your life.

If you're goin to spend a weeks worth of pay to go to watch a golf tournament, then maybe the beers should be limited to one or two. Then he'd be able to afford a $14 divot fixer.

/don't feel sorry for this ahole


And now we know Billy Payne's Fark handle.
 
2012-04-10 06:32:47 AM  
Red Solo cup...I fill you up...let's have a paaarrrty, let's have a paaarrty...
 
2012-04-10 06:35:19 AM  
The Masters is everything that's wrong with golf. A tournament run by a bunch of snooty, overly-self-important old white guys at an ultra-exclusive country club that everyone in the golf world treats like the farking Vatican all because of the dead guy who founded it.

Tiger Woods hooks his ball into the ocean at Pebble Beach during the 2000 US Open and yells "GODDAMN YOU FARKING PRICK" live on national television, and everyone just kind of blushes and moves on, but when he hooks his tee shot at Augusta and kicks his club a couple feet it's like he shat on the pope's face. Tiger actually threw his driver into the crowd once after a tee shot (check youtube), and it didn't get that kind of media attention.

Good on you, drunk golf sand-thief dude. I hope there's an ebay auction up right now (or as soon as you get out of jail) selling the Augusta-grass stained pants you were wearing when the cops tackled you.

/only two months until the REAL best golf tournament in the world
//also, I'm a staunch defender of "IN DA HOLE"-guy
 
2012-04-10 06:41:11 AM  

dookdookdook: The Masters is everything that's wrong with golf. A tournament run by a bunch of snooty, overly-self-important old white guys at an ultra-exclusive country club that everyone in the golf world treats like the farking Vatican all because of the dead guy who founded it.

Tiger Woods hooks his ball into the ocean at Pebble Beach during the 2000 US Open and yells "GODDAMN YOU FARKING PRICK" live on national television, and everyone just kind of blushes and moves on, but when he hooks his tee shot at Augusta and kicks his club a couple feet it's like he shat on the pope's face. Tiger actually threw his driver into the crowd once after a tee shot (check youtube), and it didn't get that kind of media attention.

Good on you, drunk golf sand-thief dude. I hope there's an ebay auction up right now (or as soon as you get out of jail) selling the Augusta-grass stained pants you were wearing when the cops tackled you.

/only two months until the REAL best golf tournament in the world
//also, I'm a staunch defender of "IN DA HOLE"-guy


I'm with you here-the self importance and the hushed tones that accompany it have finally made me sick and tired of this tournament. Yes, it's a great course, traditions, blah blah blah, who gives a fark any more. Give me the US or British Opens over this any day.
 
2012-04-10 07:09:39 AM  
Police: Is there any horror they cannot prevent?
 
2012-04-10 07:12:12 AM  
He should hire a real slick attorney and claim sand entrapment.

aug-cdn.com

Who knew that Troy Aikman would lower himself to assume an alias and try to steal sand from Augusta?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-04-10 07:31:26 AM  

dookdookdook: The Masters is everything that's wrong with golf. A tournament run by a bunch of snooty, overly-self-important old white guys at an ultra-exclusive country club that everyone in the golf world treats like the farking Vatican all because of the dead guy who founded it.


As opposed to all other Tour events, amirite?

Also, The Old Course is the farking Vatican.
 
2012-04-10 07:34:34 AM  

TheDumbBlonde: More Ohio white trash coming down to Georgia and violating real property rights. I bet the hangover and explanation to the wife were both of epic proportions.


I did not know Ohio white trash had become a problem in Georgia. I had always assumed the home grown white trash was the real problem.

/does not miss living in Augusta
 
2012-04-10 07:44:13 AM  
He was later seen at the post tournament gang bang at the 19th hole. What did he take there?
 
2012-04-10 07:44:28 AM  

dookdookdook: The Masters is everything that's wrong with golf. A tournament run by a bunch of snooty, overly-self-important old white guys at an ultra-exclusive country club that everyone in the golf world treats like the farking Vatican all because of the dead guy who founded it.

Tiger Woods hooks his ball into the ocean at Pebble Beach during the 2000 US Open and yells "GODDAMN YOU FARKING PRICK" live on national television, and everyone just kind of blushes and moves on, but when he hooks his tee shot at Augusta and kicks his club a couple feet it's like he shat on the pope's face. Tiger actually threw his driver into the crowd once after a tee shot (check youtube), and it didn't get that kind of media attention.

Good on you, drunk golf sand-thief dude. I hope there's an ebay auction up right now (or as soon as you get out of jail) selling the Augusta-grass stained pants you were wearing when the cops tackled you.

/only two months until the REAL best golf tournament in the world
//also, I'm a staunch defender of "IN DA HOLE"-guy


I'm with you on every point you made, except for Tiger. Not that I think that we should give him a pass for the Masters club kick, but that we should start crucifying him for every outburst at every tournament. Dude needs to show some decorum, if nothing else than out of respect for the other players in his group. It really sucks to have to play with a short-tempered jagoff, and I imagine that this is doubly true when a million bucks is on the line.
 
2012-04-10 07:44:40 AM  

Poison: Give me the US or British Opens over this any day.


Bleh...the US Open is a farking zoo any time it's held in the greater NYC area. It's like somebody vomited 40,000 drunk Jets fans onto a golf course.
 
2012-04-10 07:54:52 AM  
As someone who doens't understand the desire to get a cup full of sand as a souvenir, why not wait until the next day, try and go in as a guest to play a round and get some sand then. It's not like they use special Masters only sand in the bunkers
 
2012-04-10 08:12:02 AM  

Unoriginal_Username: try and go in as a guest to play a round and get some sand then


He had a better chance of ducking the ropes and making a run for it than getting a tee time on the course as a guest.
 
2012-04-10 08:20:34 AM  

TsarTom: He's Joe Duffer, sports enthusiast. Scored tickets to the final day of the big show, which probably cost him a week's pay. It was a hell of a finish and he was drunk. He wanted a souvenir but had already paid 150 bucks for 10 beers and didn't want to spend another $75 to buy an official Master's divot repairer.


Food and beer are very inexpensive at the Masters. It's less $3.75 for imports and $3 for domestics.

More importantly, DON'T GO UNDER THE ROPES AT THE MASTERS. Jesus, is it so hard to just not be a moron?
 
2012-04-10 08:23:02 AM  
The poor bastard who sold that man a ticket is probably crapping his pants too since Augusta National will likely revoke all his tickets for eternity. My grandfather has had 2 tickets for as long as I can remember, and each year the lucky family member gets a 30 minute lecture on appropriate conduct and a litany of threats should one's behavior result in the taking of a badge.

Also - food and beer is cheap there, I think I paid $3.00 for a beer.
 
2012-04-10 08:41:21 AM  

TsarTom: elvisaintdead: try running on *any* professional sports field during one of the biggest events of the year and see how long it takes you to get thrown in the pokey.

FTFA: Gay said Clayton Price Baker, of Ohio, slipped under the ropes following the tournament and attempted to put the sand in his cup.

Aw, give the poor SOB a break. Look at the mugshot.
[aug-cdn.com image 280x210]
He's Joe Duffer, sports enthusiast. Scored tickets to the final day of the big show, which probably cost him a week's pay. It was a hell of a finish and he was drunk. He wanted a souvenir but had already paid 150 bucks for 10 beers and didn't want to spend another $75 to buy an official Master's divot repairer.
You've done worse things in your life.


Beers at the Masters are about $2.00
 
2012-04-10 08:51:33 AM  

Unoriginal_Username: As someone who doens't understand the desire to get a cup full of sand as a souvenir, why not wait until the next day, try and go in as a guest to play a round and get some sand then. It's not like they use special Masters only sand in the bunkers


Well, if he can call up his buddies warren buffet and bill gates and get them to fly on down to play with him that might work. But the course is closed all summer immediately following the masters.
 
2012-04-10 09:17:42 AM  
Patron: Thou shalt not steal the sacred sand.
 
2012-04-10 09:26:11 AM  

Mongo No.5: Unoriginal_Username: As someone who doens't understand the desire to get a cup full of sand as a souvenir, why not wait until the next day, try and go in as a guest to play a round and get some sand then. It's not like they use special Masters only sand in the bunkers

Well, if he can call up his buddies warren buffet and bill gates and get them to fly on down to play with him that might work. But the course is closed all summer immediately following the masters.


Did not know that. Well, if it's really important to him, he could always jump the fence at night
 
2012-04-10 09:27:58 AM  
I think you get a free beer with every Viagra purchased.
 
2012-04-10 09:49:40 AM  

pho75: The poor bastard who sold that man a ticket is probably crapping his pants too since Augusta National will likely revoke all his tickets for eternity. My grandfather has had 2 tickets for as long as I can remember, and each year the lucky family member gets a 30 minute lecture on appropriate conduct and a litany of threats should one's behavior result in the taking of a badge.

Also - food and beer is cheap there, I think I paid $3.00 for a beer.


At this very moment someone (with the beer concession) is whispering in someone's ear that - just perhaps, there would be less "disturbing behavior by some of the guests if beer wasn't so cheap and plentiful and that, just perhaps, $14.00 beers in a genuine plastic souvenir cup might alleviate some of this boorish behavior."
 
2012-04-10 09:57:19 AM  

Gulper Eel: dookdookdook: The Masters is everything that's wrong with golf. A tournament run by a bunch of snooty, overly-self-important old white guys at an ultra-exclusive country club that everyone in the golf world treats like the farking Vatican all because of the dead guy who founded it.

As opposed to all other Tour events, amirite?

Also, The Old Course is the farking Vatican.


Well, the US Open has been played at a handful of public courses recently, and is going to be played at public courses a few times in coming years.
 
2012-04-10 10:00:12 AM  

Fizpez: pho75: The poor bastard who sold that man a ticket is probably crapping his pants too since Augusta National will likely revoke all his tickets for eternity. My grandfather has had 2 tickets for as long as I can remember, and each year the lucky family member gets a 30 minute lecture on appropriate conduct and a litany of threats should one's behavior result in the taking of a badge.

Also - food and beer is cheap there, I think I paid $3.00 for a beer.

At this very moment someone (with the beer concession) is whispering in someone's ear that - just perhaps, there would be less "disturbing behavior by some of the guests if beer wasn't so cheap and plentiful and that, just perhaps, $14.00 beers in a genuine plastic souvenir cup might alleviate some of this boorish behavior."


Nah, they just revoke the passes and give them to someone on the waiting list. That keeps most folks in line.
 
2012-04-10 10:08:22 AM  

basemetal: It was a trap!


+1
 
2012-04-10 10:22:21 AM  

Fizpez: At this very moment someone (with the beer concession) is whispering in someone's ear that - just perhaps, there would be less "disturbing behavior by some of the guests if beer wasn't so cheap and plentiful and that, just perhaps, $14.00 beers in a genuine plastic souvenir cup might alleviate some of this boorish behavior."


You try that play once, and get a firm reminder of why Augusta National is what it is. A big part of the mystique of The Masters is a club that says "we really don't care about your money".

Martha Burke says "we'll boycott all your sponsors", and the club's initial reaction is to say "OK, we'll pay the bills ourselves. Now what?"

Cheap concessions are part of Augusta's PR game. Those guys do everything for a reason.
 
2012-04-10 10:50:08 AM  

Gulper Eel: Poison: Give me the US or British Opens over this any day.

Bleh...the US Open is a farking zoo any time it's held in the greater NYC area. It's like somebody vomited 40,000 drunk Jets fans onto a golf course.


That's funny. And a great description-that's what it appeared to be on TV at Beth Page.
 
2012-04-10 10:55:29 AM  

Gulper Eel: Poison: Give me the US or British Opens over this any day.

Bleh...the US Open is a farking zoo any time it's held in the greater NYC area. It's like somebody vomited 40,000 drunk Jets fans onto a golf course.


Hey it's Colin Montgomerie's Fark handle.
 
2012-04-10 11:29:44 AM  

TsarTom: He wanted a souvenir but had already paid 150 bucks for 10 beers and didn't want to spend another $75 to buy an official Master's divot repairer.
You've done worse things in your life.



I don't know what they charge for a beer but cokes and sandwiches are like a buck at augusta.
 
2012-04-10 11:33:19 AM  

Gulper Eel: dookdookdook: The Masters is everything that's wrong with golf. A tournament run by a bunch of snooty, overly-self-important old white guys at an ultra-exclusive country club that everyone in the golf world treats like the farking Vatican all because of the dead guy who founded it.

As opposed to all other Tour events, amirite?

Also, The Old Course is the farking Vatican.


And the Old Course is way easier to get on and actually play than Augusta. One of the better days of my life, although one of the worst rounds of golf I've ever played.
 
2012-04-10 11:42:52 AM  
It is nice the way the Masters can dictate to TV. Like telling ESPN no stupid crawl on the screen during the telecasts, so we don't have know who Mel Kipper thinks is a third round choice in his mock draft.

It be nice if other sports could tell the networks to fark off. I'm looking at you MLB with your late start times, 8pm Sunday games and extended commercial breaks in the post season.
 
2012-04-10 12:04:24 PM  

under a mountain: It is nice the way the Masters can dictate to TV. Like telling ESPN no stupid crawl on the screen during the telecasts, so we don't have know who Mel Kipper thinks is a third round choice in his mock draft.

It be nice if other sports could tell the networks to fark off. I'm looking at you MLB with your late start times, 8pm Sunday games and extended commercial breaks in the post season.


I was watching the Cubs game on ESPN last night, only place it aired, and that farking crawl can fark itself. Do you know how many times I had to read about Ozzie Guillen and his cuban comment bullshiat?
 
2012-04-10 12:08:14 PM  

dookdookdook: The Masters is everything that's wrong with golf. A tournament run by a bunch of snooty, overly-self-important old white guys at an ultra-exclusive country club that everyone in the golf world treats like the farking Vatican all because of the dead guy who founded it.

Tiger Woods hooks his ball into the ocean at Pebble Beach during the 2000 US Open and yells "GODDAMN YOU FARKING PRICK" live on national television, and everyone just kind of blushes and moves on, but when he hooks his tee shot at Augusta and kicks his club a couple feet it's like he shat on the pope's face. Tiger actually threw his driver into the crowd once after a tee shot (check youtube), and it didn't get that kind of media attention.

Good on you, drunk golf sand-thief dude. I hope there's an ebay auction up right now (or as soon as you get out of jail) selling the Augusta-grass stained pants you were wearing when the cops tackled you.

/only two months until the REAL best golf tournament in the world
//also, I'm a staunch defender of "IN DA HOLE"-guy


***golf clap***

well-said.
 
2012-04-10 12:19:44 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: TsarTom: He's Joe Duffer, sports enthusiast. Scored tickets to the final day of the big show, which probably cost him a week's pay. It was a hell of a finish and he was drunk. He wanted a souvenir but had already paid 150 bucks for 10 beers and didn't want to spend another $75 to buy an official Master's divot repairer.

Food and beer are very inexpensive at the Masters. It's less $3.75 for imports and $3 for domestics.

More importantly, DON'T GO UNDER THE ROPES AT THE MASTERS. Jesus, is it so hard to just not be a moron?


By comparison domestics at the honda classic are $6 for a 16 oz domestic and $7 for an import of which your only choice is heinekein or heiny lite on the course itself. $3 is a freakin bargain.
 
2012-04-10 12:36:11 PM  
But but but it has its own theme music!! Its own theme music people!!! What other golf tournament has its own music? Besides this is special sand. The old white guys that run the place get it from their wives who have never seen the club and if they do see it there eyes are spooned out of their heads. True story!!!
 
2012-04-10 01:15:26 PM  
I like to think the eye-rolling jerking off motion was created SPECIFICALLY for Augusta National and those who revere it.
 
2012-04-10 01:32:35 PM  

MAYORBOB: He should hire a real slick attorney and claim sand entrapment.

[aug-cdn.com image 280x210]

Who knew that Troy Aikman would lower himself to assume an alias and try to steal sand from Augusta?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 156x218]


Really? So you are blind and slightly retarded?
 
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